Black Bull, Ancestors and Me: My Life as a Lesbian Sangoma

by Nkunzi Zandile Nkabinde

Describing the dichotomy of being both revered and reviled, this memoir traces the story of a sangoma—a traditional healer—who is also a lesbian. Descriptions of traditional African healing practices and rituals are provided alongside the personalized account of one woman acting as a mirror to the daily hardships and indignities felt by members of the gay community in Africa.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, LGBT, Lesbian, South Africa

162 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Nkunzi Zandile Nkabinde was a South African sangoma, author, and LGBT activist. They are recognized for their work and writings surrounding LGBT life as a South African, and they are best known for their memoir Black Bull, Ancestors and Me: My Life as a Lesbian Sangoma.

Reviews

[✨ jami ✨]

A unique insight into the experiences of Black lesbians in South Africa. The contrast between being revered as a Sangoma but reviled as a lesbian was a highlight. Not rating, way too personal of a memoir.

[Ana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Para o Pride Month deste ano, decidi ler apenas autores LGBT africanos e soube deste livro de memorias através de uma lista na Internet dos melhores livros neste assunto.
Nossa! Como sou completamente ignorante em relaçao à cultura e às tradiçoes africanas. Inclusive escolhi este livro para saber o que era sangoma, pois nem isso eu sabia.
A autora divide sua vida entre seu clã e Soweto, em Johannesburg, Africa do Sul, uma zona em que os habitantes sao negros e pobres.
É de origem étnica zulu e foi escolhida pelos seus ancestrais para ser a sagoma da familia (uma espécie de curandeira).
Ela narra como foi o seu chamado, o contato com os ancestrais, o treinamento de sangoma, os rituais, sacrificios, incorporaçoes. Sao coisas muito interessantes, mas às vezes assustadoras para mim, pois ha coisa que na nossa cultura é intoleravel, logo o choque cultural é inevitavel.
Porém, ela é lésbica, tanto no clã quanto em Soweto, a homossexualidade é combatida. Mesmo a Africa do Sul sendo o primeiro país do continente a criminalizar a homofobia e de legalizar o casamento de pessoas do mesmo sexo, a violencia contra os LGBT nunca diminuiu. Ela fala de estupro corretivo para lésbicas, nestes estupros elas sao muitas vezes infectadas com HIV, também sao espancadas e assassinadas na rua.
Eu aprendi muita coisa que a gente so aprende buscando estes autores, porque nenhum livro de historia, sociologia ou antropologia contada por branco vai nos trazer esse tipo de informaçao.

[kg · Rating 4 out of 5]

because it was a personal memoir, i can’t really give it a low rating just because i don’t agree with some words the author said. its not the quality of work that i would critique but the author themselves. i hated the victim blaming that occurred throughout the book. other than that i must say it was very informative and was interesting from start to finish. my heart mourns for all the struggles that mainly lower class lesbians had to endure

[Nerine Dorman · Rating 5 out of 5]

All I can say is wow. I really needed to read this book to give me a complete paradigm shift in cultural viewpoint. Nkunzi Zandile is an amazing, brave woman who stands with her feet rooted in the past and present, with an outlook toward the future.

FULL REVIEW (September 23, 2013)
The first thing that is immediately apparent when reading Black Bull, Ancestors and Me, is Nkunzi’s overwhelming confidence in herself and her place in the world. She is not afraid of breaking with her culture’s established viewpoints and, in all that she does, she seeks to find the middle ground. This is expressed in her balancing the male and female aspects of her self, as well as drawing from established traditions with a vision of a dynamic future.

In many ways Nkunzi was fortunate, because she was raised by a mother who accepted Nkunzi for who she was, and defended her from those who would discriminate. Though she does not shy away from examining the painful aspects of life, her entire book comes across with a huge amount of positive attitude, which is so refreshing – especially when we consider the constant doom and gloom in the media. Mostly, Nkunzi concerns herself with doing what is right – this might not be the easiest path to follow, but she has clearly spent much time examining herself and others, and isn’t afraid to say what’s on her mind.

Central to Nkunzi’s worldview is her firm belief in the powers of her ancestors, who have guided her on her path as a sangoma. If you, like me, are curious about how important this belief system is to others, Nkunzi offers a fantastic way for readers to experience a bit of a paradigm shift to establish greater understanding. It’s not necessary to believe as she does, but I finished this book with a better idea of why some folks follow this path.

Of particular interest also is Nkunzi’s research, which she relates here as she’s spent much time travelling to interview other same-sex sangomas in South Africa, and has offered a fascinating glimpse into this other world. She speaks plainly and from the heart, toward greater understanding. I do believe her voice should be heard, especially in the light of so many brutal attacks against lesbians in South Africa’s townships.

[Wade · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has just about all of my favorite things in a story: a strong, engaging central character; insight into a way of life and approach that is different from my own; significant introspection and meaning-making; and the interplay of weighty concerns without weighty and academic language. It also happens to be a true memoir.

The author stands (like most of my favorite authors) at some significant intersections of history, culture, and identity. She tells her story honestly and bluntly - in the same manner that she engages with her ancestors, her peers, and her mentors & teachers. She has many important things to say about how to negotiate and preserve important cultural traditions without letting them overwhelm and erase her own individuality.

I have been talking about this book to anyone who will listen, and I hope it reaches more and more of an audience.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting memoir with personal insight and observations on the struggles of LGBT-identified Black South Africans.

[Spellbind Consensus]

* The book is an autobiographical account of Nkunzi Zandile Nkabinde’s life as both a lesbian and a sangoma (traditional healer) in South Africa.
* Nkabinde describes her early life, growing up in a Zulu community, where she experienced tension between her sexual identity and cultural expectations.
* She narrates her coming-of-age as a lesbian, detailing the challenges of being open about her sexuality in a society shaped by both conservative traditions and political transition.
* A central theme of the memoir is her spiritual calling to become a sangoma, a role that connects her to her ancestors and demands initiation, ritual practice, and healing work.
* Nkabinde recounts vivid episodes from her initiation process, including dreams, ancestral visitations, and rituals that marked her acceptance of the calling.
* She explores how her ancestors and spiritual guides affirmed her identity, presenting her lesbianism not as a conflict but as part of her wholeness as a healer.
* The memoir situates her personal journey against the backdrop of apartheid and post-apartheid South Africa, showing how social and political change influenced the possibilities for both queer identity and indigenous practices.
* Nkabinde highlights the intersection of tradition and modernity, demonstrating how cultural continuity and sexual diversity can coexist in South African life.
* The book also serves as a record of the broader struggle for LGBTQ+ acceptance in Africa, linking her personal experiences to larger questions of social justice and cultural legitimacy.

---

### Tone and Writing Style

* **Tone:** Intimate, reflective, and courageous, with a balance of personal vulnerability and cultural authority.
* **Style:** Memoir-driven, accessible, and descriptive, blending storytelling, spiritual reflection, and social commentary.
* **Support for Content:** The personal yet grounded style allows readers to connect emotionally with Nkabinde’s journey while also learning about the cultural and spiritual dimensions of sangoma practice and the realities of being a lesbian in South Africa.

---

### Author’s Qualifications

* **Nkunzi Zandile Nkabinde** was a South African sangoma, writer, and activist.
* As both a traditional healer and an openly lesbian woman, she held a unique position bridging indigenous spirituality and LGBTQ+ advocacy.
* Her firsthand experience as a sangoma provides cultural authority and authenticity in describing rituals, ancestral practices, and the meaning of spiritual calling.
* Her lived reality as a lesbian in South Africa enhances the memoir’s exploration of identity, resilience, and community, making her testimony vital both for understanding sangoma traditions and for queer African narratives.

[Sleeperagent · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story is an interesting look into what it is being a young black lesbian in post apartheid South Africa. Zandile manages to touch on mysgony, the violence that is faced by South African women, the homophobia and violence faced by queer people in South Africa, racism in a post apartheid period, gender and gender roles. It took me on a captivating and fascinating dive into the world of sangomas, the challenges faced by the sangoma community and a peek into their interesting lives. It is a story of pain and hope existinging together. I don't think review can do it justice.

I couldn't recommend it enough times.

Trigger warnings though for sexual violence, abuse, racism, hate crimes, etc

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

With only 8 days left in February I finally finished my first book for #FFFebruaryReads. I learned so much from this book. I didn't know that much about Zulu culture, and I had never heard of sangomas before. It was especially interesting to learn about them through the eyes of a self-identified lesbian, to see where tradition seemed to naturally accept gender and sexual fluidity but also where tradition kept people in strict gender and sexual roles. Human culture is complex and can't be easily generalized!

[Cheraé · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book sat on my shelf for more than 10 years. I got the book when I myself worked at GALA many moons ago.
It was refreshing to hear Nkunzi’s free flowing voice as I read over the words. More than anything, the book is educational on the traditional ways and practices of traditional healers in our country and gives insight to South Africa at the time of publication. I’m surprised by how relevant it still feels now in 2025.

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an interesting look into South African spirituality and its intersection with queerness.

[Kristi]

I have always had a love for the study of people and culture. For those who don’t know, back a decade ago, I received my undergraduate degree in Sociology. I wanted to study deviant subcultures, and had all intentions of being a leading expert on the world’s oldest profession.

How that led me into a career in fashion photography is a whole other post…

The latest KRead book, Black Bull, Ancestors and Me: My Life as a Lesbian Sangoma has awaken every sociological and anthropological bone in my body.

Plot Snapshot: A memoir of Nkunzi Zandile Nkabinde, a lesbian sangoma (traditional healer), shares with us her personal journey of enlightenment through a traditional South African landscape.

I am still sitting here letting this book, and this woman wash over me. Serving as a lens into a world most know nothing about, she guides with a calm steady voice. From her birth surrounded by death to her completion of sangoma training, she takes the reader on an intimate journey. She shares with us her insight on issues far-reaching tribal life, including the tradition of lobola (similar to a dowry) and the practice of corrective rape.

With every word, she restructured my ignorant assumptions about her life. She speaks so clearly about her experiences that I feel as if I am watching from a perch above.

Remarkably, as soon as I got comfortable with my view, she introduces us to other lesbian sangomas, who have their own stories. Transparent with their flaws, fears, and strength, each add their own richness to the narrative.

I don’t want to say too much more about the book here, other than to say it was one that all of US should read. I am very glad that I did.

Anyone read it? Love to hear your thoughts.

[Lily · Rating 3 out of 5]

It gave me a good insight into the African culture. The book started of great and interesting but after the middle it became boring.

[Mills College Library]

306.7663 N738 2008

[Nolz]

Interesting world, very nice!!