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Better Man, Better Marriage: Awaken Your Inner Hero and Move from Passive to Powerful in Your Most Important Relationship
REIGNITE INTIMACY. LOVE THE MAN YOU BECOME.
Most men have a marriage that can only be described as "meh." So-so. Not boo-yah, not train wreck, just "meh." Stuck in the mediocre middle.
Or maybe your wife is shut down. Guarded. Distant. Dismissive. Sex is a distant memory. And here's the pulling-your-hair-out Nothing you do makes it any better, only worse. It's depressing. It's infuriating. You desperately want to repair your marriage but don't know how.
But what if ...
What if this is your line-in-the-sand moment? Your opportunity to grow and evolve and become the hero your family is crossing its fingers for — a bigger, bolder, more present, powerful, loving, kind, tenacious, eye-of-the-tiger YOU.
In this little powerhouse, you'll learn ...
How to build a marriage that's warm, fun, close, and intimate (without becoming a pleaser or Nice Guy)How to respond when your wife hurls a criticism or complaint (without getting defensive)How to tap into your masculine energy stores. (They might be buried beneath years of neglect, but like the ring of power in Tolkien's tales of Middle Earth, your masculinity wants to be found. It's trying to get back to its master.)How to avoid the devastation, emotional trauma, and financial bloodbath of divorceHow to respond when your wife says, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you."
Welcome to the revolution!
"I see why women rave over it. It turns complicated truths into simple ones. Women, buy this book. Give it to the men you care about. For your sake and theirs." -Amber (Amazon Customer)
"I have a new perspective on what it means to be a real man." -Clint (Amazon Customer)
"Read it in one sitting and I'm the wife. The author hits every single nail on the head. It's absolutely uncanny. Life and marriage-changing!" -Jennifer (Amazon Customer)
"My wife moved out four months ago. Today, she suggested we put divorce on hold. None of this would have happened without this book." -Jason (Amazon Customer)
"Jeff has a rather uncanny understanding and articulation of the female psyche. If one man can understand so fully what a woman wants, maybe mine can, too! I recommend it for both men and women." -TSW (Amazon Customer)
"Invaluable for any man wanting to rebuild trust and connection in his marriage. I wish I'd read it 20 years ago!" -Mark (Amazon Customer)
"The author doesn't put women down but invites men to step up. This book would have saved my marriage from the damage I caused by telling my husband how to be a husband." -Cherie (Amazon Customer)
"The most practical book I've ever read on how to be a better man! I bought one for each of my grown sons." -Jeff (Amazon Customer)
"This book should be a prerequisite for marriage." -Jason (Amazon Customer)
"How does the author know what my wife was thinking and how she'd respond?! I was oblivious before I found this book." -Steve (Amazon Customer)
"You'll swear Jeff has been watching you cruise through life on Autopilot — neglecting your wife and setting yourself up for failure. WAKE UP NOW and buy this book before you spend way more on a lawyer and alimony!" -Kris (Amazon Customer)
"If you're reading this, you're already on the right path. Buy this amazing book. Save your marriage. I waited too long. Grow and evolve NOW before it's too late." -III (Amazon Customer)
REIGNITE INTIMACY. ORDER NOW.
Most men have a marriage that can only be described as "meh." So-so. Not boo-yah, not train wreck, just "meh." Stuck in the mediocre middle.
Or maybe your wife is shut down. Guarded. Distant. Dismissive. Sex is a distant memory. And here's the pulling-your-hair-out Nothing you do makes it any better, only worse. It's depressing. It's infuriating. You desperately want to repair your marriage but don't know how.
But what if ...
What if this is your line-in-the-sand moment? Your opportunity to grow and evolve and become the hero your family is crossing its fingers for — a bigger, bolder, more present, powerful, loving, kind, tenacious, eye-of-the-tiger YOU.
In this little powerhouse, you'll learn ...
How to build a marriage that's warm, fun, close, and intimate (without becoming a pleaser or Nice Guy)How to respond when your wife hurls a criticism or complaint (without getting defensive)How to tap into your masculine energy stores. (They might be buried beneath years of neglect, but like the ring of power in Tolkien's tales of Middle Earth, your masculinity wants to be found. It's trying to get back to its master.)How to avoid the devastation, emotional trauma, and financial bloodbath of divorceHow to respond when your wife says, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you."
Welcome to the revolution!
"I see why women rave over it. It turns complicated truths into simple ones. Women, buy this book. Give it to the men you care about. For your sake and theirs." -Amber (Amazon Customer)
"I have a new perspective on what it means to be a real man." -Clint (Amazon Customer)
"Read it in one sitting and I'm the wife. The author hits every single nail on the head. It's absolutely uncanny. Life and marriage-changing!" -Jennifer (Amazon Customer)
"My wife moved out four months ago. Today, she suggested we put divorce on hold. None of this would have happened without this book." -Jason (Amazon Customer)
"Jeff has a rather uncanny understanding and articulation of the female psyche. If one man can understand so fully what a woman wants, maybe mine can, too! I recommend it for both men and women." -TSW (Amazon Customer)
"Invaluable for any man wanting to rebuild trust and connection in his marriage. I wish I'd read it 20 years ago!" -Mark (Amazon Customer)
"The author doesn't put women down but invites men to step up. This book would have saved my marriage from the damage I caused by telling my husband how to be a husband." -Cherie (Amazon Customer)
"The most practical book I've ever read on how to be a better man! I bought one for each of my grown sons." -Jeff (Amazon Customer)
"This book should be a prerequisite for marriage." -Jason (Amazon Customer)
"How does the author know what my wife was thinking and how she'd respond?! I was oblivious before I found this book." -Steve (Amazon Customer)
"You'll swear Jeff has been watching you cruise through life on Autopilot — neglecting your wife and setting yourself up for failure. WAKE UP NOW and buy this book before you spend way more on a lawyer and alimony!" -Kris (Amazon Customer)
"If you're reading this, you're already on the right path. Buy this amazing book. Save your marriage. I waited too long. Grow and evolve NOW before it's too late." -III (Amazon Customer)
REIGNITE INTIMACY. ORDER NOW.
- GenresMarriage
175 pages, Paperback
Published September 3, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
January 26, 2024
This book is simultaneously genuine and insulting. 3 stars
My soon to be brother in law got me this book as a joke for Christmas. Little did he know I would actually sit down and read it.
Why is this book a joke? Well, the quote on the cover says that Jeff is the “wife whisperer” and the first testimonial on the back starts with “Weak men are everywhere”. So before you even start it, you know what it is.
And it does not disappoint. The book is exactly as condescending and misguidedly misogynistic as you anticipated, sometimes even more so, which made the read quite enjoyable if you knew that going in.
Plot twist, he buries the lead that it’s actually a sermon and he’s a preacher, or at least by the end there are multiple Bible verses and Jesus quotes, and attempts to get you to join his small group, but he tries to hide it by pretending to be cool by saying things he thinks are cool like “jackass” — edgy. You can say you are a youth pastor, it’s okay, brother.
There is a shoutout to xxxchurch which is an organization that helps young men with porn addiction, a sermon I had heard before growing up in Christian school so this is how I know his type so well (Think sperry wearing simpleton who actually is a genuinely nice guy, dammit). I will say that this chapter was very well written. He set up the chapter where porn was a pharmaceutical ad but in the side effects he listed all the side effects and many of them are true and heart breaking. Clearly where the author’s heart is at. So I will give him props for the set up but back to roasting for a sec:
This whole book is a man mansplaining to men about what women really want. Basically imagine a church where the audience is strictly “Dudes”. You are a man so you lift weights and play video games. Duh dude!
The examples of the stories and quotes are hilariously stiff and unrealistic. Not even close to real convos like he pretends to actually have had. His assumptions about women and how their brains work are like every preacher politician out there today determining what to do with women’s healthcare. it is hilarious how patronizing his assumptions are and at times downright insulting. Luckily it is marketed so hard for DUDES that a woman wouldn’t dare pick it up.
All of this to say the author would probably think I’m not being a hero right now, so taking a step back, if you are able to laugh thru the stuff I mentioned above, if you assume the author’s best intentions there are some memorable nuggets of relationship advice in this book. Here are my takeaways:
Go first (do the hard stuff, initiate)
It’s never about the thing being said (find the meaning behind the words)
Find criticisms as growth opportunities
Own it
Use your words
My soon to be brother in law got me this book as a joke for Christmas. Little did he know I would actually sit down and read it.
Why is this book a joke? Well, the quote on the cover says that Jeff is the “wife whisperer” and the first testimonial on the back starts with “Weak men are everywhere”. So before you even start it, you know what it is.
And it does not disappoint. The book is exactly as condescending and misguidedly misogynistic as you anticipated, sometimes even more so, which made the read quite enjoyable if you knew that going in.
Plot twist, he buries the lead that it’s actually a sermon and he’s a preacher, or at least by the end there are multiple Bible verses and Jesus quotes, and attempts to get you to join his small group, but he tries to hide it by pretending to be cool by saying things he thinks are cool like “jackass” — edgy. You can say you are a youth pastor, it’s okay, brother.
There is a shoutout to xxxchurch which is an organization that helps young men with porn addiction, a sermon I had heard before growing up in Christian school so this is how I know his type so well (Think sperry wearing simpleton who actually is a genuinely nice guy, dammit). I will say that this chapter was very well written. He set up the chapter where porn was a pharmaceutical ad but in the side effects he listed all the side effects and many of them are true and heart breaking. Clearly where the author’s heart is at. So I will give him props for the set up but back to roasting for a sec:
This whole book is a man mansplaining to men about what women really want. Basically imagine a church where the audience is strictly “Dudes”. You are a man so you lift weights and play video games. Duh dude!
The examples of the stories and quotes are hilariously stiff and unrealistic. Not even close to real convos like he pretends to actually have had. His assumptions about women and how their brains work are like every preacher politician out there today determining what to do with women’s healthcare. it is hilarious how patronizing his assumptions are and at times downright insulting. Luckily it is marketed so hard for DUDES that a woman wouldn’t dare pick it up.
All of this to say the author would probably think I’m not being a hero right now, so taking a step back, if you are able to laugh thru the stuff I mentioned above, if you assume the author’s best intentions there are some memorable nuggets of relationship advice in this book. Here are my takeaways:
Go first (do the hard stuff, initiate)
It’s never about the thing being said (find the meaning behind the words)
Find criticisms as growth opportunities
Own it
Use your words
July 1, 2023
every husband or man who is getting married needs this ASAP
I’ve been with my wife 20 years. I’ve been doing a vast majority of what this book talks about completely wrong. Embarrassingly, I had no idea.
And sadly, if she had told me.. in a way that I actually was smart enough to understand… or someone had told me, or someone had given me this book, I would’ve done every single thing I could the right way that I possibly could because I love her and I want her to be happy.
I want to be the man that she deserves, and not the schmuck who has no clue what’s going on, while he shoots himself in the foot.
I’ve been with my wife 20 years. I’ve been doing a vast majority of what this book talks about completely wrong. Embarrassingly, I had no idea.
And sadly, if she had told me.. in a way that I actually was smart enough to understand… or someone had told me, or someone had given me this book, I would’ve done every single thing I could the right way that I possibly could because I love her and I want her to be happy.
I want to be the man that she deserves, and not the schmuck who has no clue what’s going on, while he shoots himself in the foot.
February 26, 2025
It's a short read, but very inspirational.
I couldn't ever figure out why my wife would get so angry with me whenever I would give her the space she would ask me for. It just didn't make sense, and it would infuriate me to no end. This book gave me a lot of insite into what she was really asking of me, without telling me outright. 'It would be so much easier if she would just tell me what she wants.' was my typical marriage mantra. It's hard to wrap my mind around it still, but I have a better understanding now, knowing that she wants an adventurer for a husband instead of a boy who needs his hand held and told what to do.
I couldn't ever figure out why my wife would get so angry with me whenever I would give her the space she would ask me for. It just didn't make sense, and it would infuriate me to no end. This book gave me a lot of insite into what she was really asking of me, without telling me outright. 'It would be so much easier if she would just tell me what she wants.' was my typical marriage mantra. It's hard to wrap my mind around it still, but I have a better understanding now, knowing that she wants an adventurer for a husband instead of a boy who needs his hand held and told what to do.
February 25, 2023
Timely Life Saving Truth
What an eye opener!
This book will inspire a revolution where it's needed the most, in the heart of every man.
What an eye opener!
This book will inspire a revolution where it's needed the most, in the heart of every man.
January 6, 2026
Great Info
I like the writing style. As a man reading it was easy to follow along and really understand the information being provided. Definitely recommend this book to a man who is feeling a loss of connection with his spouse.
I like the writing style. As a man reading it was easy to follow along and really understand the information being provided. Definitely recommend this book to a man who is feeling a loss of connection with his spouse.
September 2, 2025
I have read around 20+ books on relationship, and this one is the best one.
I couldn't disagree more with one of the negative review here.
The author is the nicest guy on heart, I contacted him and he wanted to help me so much that he gifted me access to his community.
Men need other men to do the work, and he built a super affordable community for men to do the work and become better men, lead their marriage our of the darkness and live happy fulfilled life.
Not every man who reads the book will be ready to do the work.
Not every man wants to stop being the princess and play victim.
If you want to control what you can control (you), and reclaim your life and live it fully, with no regrets...then pick up this book and start implementing the simple and effective principles explained.
I couldn't disagree more with one of the negative review here.
The author is the nicest guy on heart, I contacted him and he wanted to help me so much that he gifted me access to his community.
Men need other men to do the work, and he built a super affordable community for men to do the work and become better men, lead their marriage our of the darkness and live happy fulfilled life.
Not every man who reads the book will be ready to do the work.
Not every man wants to stop being the princess and play victim.
If you want to control what you can control (you), and reclaim your life and live it fully, with no regrets...then pick up this book and start implementing the simple and effective principles explained.
February 13, 2023
Inspiring
An inspiring message to any husband who may be struggling with what to do, how to do it, and where to find the will and energy to do it.
An inspiring message to any husband who may be struggling with what to do, how to do it, and where to find the will and energy to do it.
June 12, 2024
Good book
January 15, 2025
Must Read!
Couldn’t stop reading! If you are a husband read this book regardless of how great of a man or husband you are.
Couldn’t stop reading! If you are a husband read this book regardless of how great of a man or husband you are.
July 13, 2026
I went through Better Man, Better Marriage hoping to gain practical wisdom on becoming a better husband, and I’m glad I did. This book challenged me in a number of areas and opened my eyes to several practical ways I can grow as a man and in my relationships.
One of the things I appreciated most is that Jeff Borkoski doesn’t simply encourage men to “try harder.” Instead, he emphasizes intentionality, taking responsibility, leading well, pursuing your wife, communicating better, and refusing to become passive. Those are all areas where many men—including myself—can easily drift if we’re not careful.
Many of those themes are strongly supported by Scripture. Husbands are commanded to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Men are called to live with their wives in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:7), to consider others before themselves (Philippians 2:3-4), and to be doers of the Word rather than merely hearers (James 1:22). The book repeatedly challenged me to move from simply knowing these truths to actually living them out.
The author also addresses difficult subjects such as pornography, passivity, emotional connection, and personal responsibility. While I may not have agreed with every point or application, I found the overall message to be practical, biblical in many respects, and easy to follow.
I also appreciated that he frequently references God, Jesus, and Scripture throughout the book. My one criticism is that he uses some mild profanity at times. It wasn’t excessive, but I personally didn’t find that helpful or necessary.
Overall, I found this to be a worthwhile book that gave me several practical tools to become a better man. Whether you’re newly married, have been married for decades, or simply want to grow in biblical manhood and intentional leadership, I believe you’ll find many valuable insights here.
One of the things I appreciated most is that Jeff Borkoski doesn’t simply encourage men to “try harder.” Instead, he emphasizes intentionality, taking responsibility, leading well, pursuing your wife, communicating better, and refusing to become passive. Those are all areas where many men—including myself—can easily drift if we’re not careful.
Many of those themes are strongly supported by Scripture. Husbands are commanded to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Men are called to live with their wives in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:7), to consider others before themselves (Philippians 2:3-4), and to be doers of the Word rather than merely hearers (James 1:22). The book repeatedly challenged me to move from simply knowing these truths to actually living them out.
The author also addresses difficult subjects such as pornography, passivity, emotional connection, and personal responsibility. While I may not have agreed with every point or application, I found the overall message to be practical, biblical in many respects, and easy to follow.
I also appreciated that he frequently references God, Jesus, and Scripture throughout the book. My one criticism is that he uses some mild profanity at times. It wasn’t excessive, but I personally didn’t find that helpful or necessary.
Overall, I found this to be a worthwhile book that gave me several practical tools to become a better man. Whether you’re newly married, have been married for decades, or simply want to grow in biblical manhood and intentional leadership, I believe you’ll find many valuable insights here.
March 15, 2026
Quoting both Dr. Phil and Scott Adams in one book should’ve been enough to make me put this one down. That being said, this is a brief, simplistic approach to bettering yourself for the sake of your marriage. I always try to read at least one or two self help books every year, and this is one that I picked for 2026. The advice is straightforward and, therefore, able to be put into practice with relative ease. I appreciated the no-nonsense approach, with short chapters and a lot of bullet points. 3/5.
“Don’t fall prey to the tendency we all share — to overvalue the things we can measure and undervalue the things we can’t.”
“The point of marriage is not happiness. The point of marriage is growth.” - Nate Bagley
“Dopamine is dopamine whether you’ve been together a few days or a few decades.”
“Change before you have to.” - Jack Welch
“Nothing in a relationship ever gets better on its own. You might as well ask the ingredients in your pantry to bake themselves into a cake.” - Jen Gunter
“Optimism sounds the alarm and takes action. Passivity crosses its fingers and watches the building burn down.”
“If you don’t change direction, you’ll end up where you’re heading.” - Lao Tzu
“Make doing the right thing and becoming a better man its own reward. If you’re for real, your wife will take notice and move in your direction. We just have no control over when.”
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” - Confucius
“Act now. Today you have options, tomorrow you may not.”
“Don’t fall prey to the tendency we all share — to overvalue the things we can measure and undervalue the things we can’t.”
“The point of marriage is not happiness. The point of marriage is growth.” - Nate Bagley
“Dopamine is dopamine whether you’ve been together a few days or a few decades.”
“Change before you have to.” - Jack Welch
“Nothing in a relationship ever gets better on its own. You might as well ask the ingredients in your pantry to bake themselves into a cake.” - Jen Gunter
“Optimism sounds the alarm and takes action. Passivity crosses its fingers and watches the building burn down.”
“If you don’t change direction, you’ll end up where you’re heading.” - Lao Tzu
“Make doing the right thing and becoming a better man its own reward. If you’re for real, your wife will take notice and move in your direction. We just have no control over when.”
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” - Confucius
“Act now. Today you have options, tomorrow you may not.”
September 8, 2025
This was given to me by my boss the day I told him that my wife was seeking a dissolution. He explained to me that even if we didn't resolve our issues, they would follow me into my future relationships and I really needed to read it. I waited 3 months to read it, after we had already separated, and wish I had picked it up much sooner. Seriously, this book is eye opening. You will find yourself going, "Oh my god. That is me!" throughout the book...and it won't be because you're proud of it. Don't wait until your marriage is in crisis. Fix/improve it before it ever gets that far. Once I started reading it, I couldn't stop. I read it cover to cover in an evening. It is that good.
February 13, 2025
I thought there was some useful information in this book. However, some parts felt like imbedded sales pitches. Quick read.
September 19, 2025
the wife
If my husband did what this book says to do we would have a near perfect marriage. We would’ve happy and connected. I could live in my feminine energy where I want to be.
If my husband did what this book says to do we would have a near perfect marriage. We would’ve happy and connected. I could live in my feminine energy where I want to be.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews