What do you think?
Rate this book
软瘾：终结那些窃取你时间、夺走你生活的强迫性习惯
☆ “怎么什么都没干，一天就过去了？” 为了解压不停买买买，隔几分钟就刷新社交网络首页，一吃薯片就停不下来……生活中无处不在的软瘾，只会让人在快乐后加倍空虚。认识自己的软瘾，摆脱看似无伤大雅的习惯，才能找回不知不觉中被偷走的生活。 ☆ 美国著名婚姻与生活方式教练朱迪斯•莱特从自身经历出发，提出了警醒无数人的“软瘾”概念——那些看似无害，却在浪费你时间精力，让你看不清自己真正需求，也无法给你真正满足感的习惯。向软瘾投降，你将失去对生活的控制；以软瘾为镜，你会了解和拥抱真实的自己。通过剖析软瘾，发现自己在担忧什么，害怕什么，暗自渴望些什么。 ☆ 跟随本书确定你的软瘾所在，击破软瘾后的思维陷阱，挖掘软瘾形成的根源，掌握软瘾发作的导火索，发现软瘾深处的渴望，学习换一种方式满足精神需求，通过习惯的加减法彻底将软瘾逐出你的生活。本书后半附有练习册，帮助你一步步摆脱软瘾，重获充实与自律。 ☆ 适合希望挤出更多时间做更多事，和更深入地了解自己内心需求的读者。 你希望拥有更多时间、金钱或精力吗？你希望在生活中找到更多目标和意义吗？你是否会因为想填补内心的空虚而去做某些事，结果发现收效甚微？机械地吃零食，无聊地刷手机，一逛购物网站就控制不住买买买……做这些事时我们明明是快乐的，可这种快乐却无法形成持久的满足。 这些看似无害的习惯就是“软瘾”。它们不仅浪费了我们的时间和金钱，还麻木了我们的情绪，榨干了我们的精力，降低了我们的生活质量。它们仅仅提供了表面的兴奋，而掩盖了我们更深层次的渴望，阻止我们实现我们的目标、野心和梦想。 在这本开创性的书中，莱特从她在个人和职业发展领域的丰富经验出发，对软瘾做了一次彻底的解剖，提出了摆脱软瘾、充实生活的具体方案。以软瘾为线索，你将看清自己真正需要的是什么；学习摆脱软瘾，你可以为生活中的更多可能腾出空间。 朱迪斯•莱特（Judith Wright）是美国著名婚姻与生活方式教练、演讲家、咨询师、教授和畅销书作家，曾多次做客《20/20》《早安美国》《今天》和《奥普拉•温弗瑞脱口秀》等新闻与谈话节目，登上《嘉人》《健康》等杂志。她的前作《如何正确吵架》已在国内出版，挽救了很多人的恋爱与婚姻。
426 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2006
60 people are currently reading
156 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
March 29, 2011
I really can't believe the average rating was only three stars. This book brings together dozens of principle-based lessons I've heard, and provides excellent, practical applications that can help us overcome our pesky setbacks. It helps identify all the things we do that keep us from living a more meaningful life. The cure is as simple as making one life-changing decision. I believe she is right, as I have read stories of many great people and they've usually had a defining moment where they decided the kind of person they wanted to be, and then avoided deviating from that decision.
September 12, 2008
Last month, I had the pleasure of hearing Judith Wright speak on her pet topic of soft addictions. It's a curious topic--we all know what addictions are, and we know they're bad. But "soft addictions"? Intriguing, and her demo reel shows it, with a lineup of major media appearances from all over the country. I went home with her books, The Soft Addiction Solution and The One Decision in my bag, curious about what Ms. Wright might have to say about my self-confessed ability to watch entirely too much television.
Her definition, to begin:
Soft addictions are those seemingly harmless habits--like overshopping, overeating, watching too much TV, surfing the Internet, gossiping, procrastinating--that actually keep us from the life we want. Whether we realize it or not, our soft addiction cost us money, rob us of time, numb us from our feelings, mute our consciousness and drain our energy.
She points out that while we all have these habits, what defines a "soft addiction" is the frequently and use of the habit. Watching a program we enjoy on TV--that's OK. Surfing idly for hours to escape reality or to zone out after a busy day--hmm, what are you trying to escape from, and does it actually help?
The definition was intriguing and an interesting way of looking at some of the less-than-healthy routines some of us have set up in our lives that end up robbing us of time and energy we could be spending on pursuing the hopes, dreams and activities that we truly value--no argument there. And the coinage of "soft addiction" is truly brilliant; "soft" makes the term a bit easier to admit and own up to and "addiction" has that connotation of negative feedback loop that detracts from our lives.
And there is a lot of value in simply identifying which parts of our lives and daily routines aren't feeding our purposes and our stated goals and values--you guys know how strongly I believe in goal-setting based on our stated values so that our everyday lives reflect what we value in life. So sure, I'm going to be a fan of any type of self-reflection that could help keep one on track and aligned with one's values.
I will say that the usefulness seems to stop there; with respect to ridding oneself of these soft addictions and making "the one decision," I'd recommend going out and investing in a copy of Everyday Zen: Love and Work, by Charlotte Joko Beck, which is a deeper and more cogent explanation of integrating love, life and work. The philosophy of making one powerful decision to live life a certain way is a strong one, but Ms. Wright's explanations seem vaguely positive and zen-ish without going more deeply into zen philosophy. Or any philosophy; the whole transition process seems to come across as the stale "make a decision to be positive and your life will change" without any solid philosophy behind it. Her solution of "just make a decision and change" seems to fall a bit flat for me, and it seems she continually almost espouses zen philosophies but skims over them rather shallowly.
So skim Wright's book to dig out your own soft addictions, and then go read Beck's excellent (and extremely readable treatise) on Zen to really put it into practice and opt to live meaningfully on a daily basis.
Read
November 13, 2007I have a feeling this will grow to really annoy me quickly.
It did. They need a "gave up in irritation" category on the bookshelves list.
It did. They need a "gave up in irritation" category on the bookshelves list.
February 22, 2012
I met this woman randomly in Chicago after she was a guest on a Chicago radio talk show and left the Tribune building. Her publicist gave me a free copy and I figured I must need to read this. My Life Coach who is from Minneapolis couldn't believe I had met Judyth and was very familiar with her. How many soft addictions do I have? The sum of them just might total at least one hard addiction.
September 10, 2009
According to this book we all have some soft addiction or another, and they become problems when they keep us from living more full and abundant lives. I really like the premise of the book, though I don't agree with everything the author says.
March 28, 2022
For the first 75 pages, my reaction was that this book was utter bullshit. No human in the world has ever thought of this strategy on their own, and yet, if we follow her advice, every one of us will be able to improve our lives. We can feel fulfilled and be successful in everything, in all spheres of our lives, despite the fact that there are a limited number of hours in the day, and a limited amount of energy and attention that we have. And it’s all written in the language of hype that self-help transform-your-life books seem to love.
But then I started to look for the underlying truths behind the hype. And it seems to boil down to mindfulness. Identify those places where you’re “zoning out”, and, well, don’t. Her “One Decision” is essentially like a mantra, that you can repeat to yourself as a reminder to look for the way to engage mindfully with your life. So, I guess if you like the idea of miracle cures, and enjoy being swept along by exciting language, maybe you’ll use this book to make a shift in your life. It really did not resonate with me. At best, if I squinted I could see where it was talking about the same concepts that seem better addressed in other sources.
There were a number of things that annoyed me in this book. Cutesy terms such as "stinking thinking", "MORE-sels", and "alive-lines" (rather than deadlines). Lots of weight-loss talk. Toss-off comments about dating "high quality women" or "better quality men” (we’re rating the quality of our fellow human beings now?). Several mentions of "oversleeping" as a soft addiction, or an example of the wrong sort of thing to want more of your life, without any recognition of the fact that chronic sleep deprivation is rampant in our society, and many people literally do need more sleep in their lives, for physical as well as mental health. Not to mention that the very idea of a “One Decision” is off-putting or intimidating to someone with perfectionistic tendencies who knows they won’t get it “right” on the first try. Bonus: the very last inspirational quote in the book is from Ayn Rand, a certified asshole.
On the other hand, there were some really good points. I appreciated how she several times assigned movie-watching to illustrate her ideas. She would give the title of a movie, and suggest being alert to whatever particular topic, while watching it. It’s often easier to see patterns in other people’s behavior than our own, and getting some practice in identifying these patterns might help when we then look at our own behavior. Also, the workbook section of the book is excellent. I did not actually attempt to do any of the workbook exercises, because as I mentioned the book didn’t resonate with me that strongly. But there seemed to be a lot of very specific assignments to help the reader put her ideas into action, where most books leave that part completely up to you. At the very least, even just reading through the workbook section provided a sort of summary review of her main topics.
But then I started to look for the underlying truths behind the hype. And it seems to boil down to mindfulness. Identify those places where you’re “zoning out”, and, well, don’t. Her “One Decision” is essentially like a mantra, that you can repeat to yourself as a reminder to look for the way to engage mindfully with your life. So, I guess if you like the idea of miracle cures, and enjoy being swept along by exciting language, maybe you’ll use this book to make a shift in your life. It really did not resonate with me. At best, if I squinted I could see where it was talking about the same concepts that seem better addressed in other sources.
There were a number of things that annoyed me in this book. Cutesy terms such as "stinking thinking", "MORE-sels", and "alive-lines" (rather than deadlines). Lots of weight-loss talk. Toss-off comments about dating "high quality women" or "better quality men” (we’re rating the quality of our fellow human beings now?). Several mentions of "oversleeping" as a soft addiction, or an example of the wrong sort of thing to want more of your life, without any recognition of the fact that chronic sleep deprivation is rampant in our society, and many people literally do need more sleep in their lives, for physical as well as mental health. Not to mention that the very idea of a “One Decision” is off-putting or intimidating to someone with perfectionistic tendencies who knows they won’t get it “right” on the first try. Bonus: the very last inspirational quote in the book is from Ayn Rand, a certified asshole.
On the other hand, there were some really good points. I appreciated how she several times assigned movie-watching to illustrate her ideas. She would give the title of a movie, and suggest being alert to whatever particular topic, while watching it. It’s often easier to see patterns in other people’s behavior than our own, and getting some practice in identifying these patterns might help when we then look at our own behavior. Also, the workbook section of the book is excellent. I did not actually attempt to do any of the workbook exercises, because as I mentioned the book didn’t resonate with me that strongly. But there seemed to be a lot of very specific assignments to help the reader put her ideas into action, where most books leave that part completely up to you. At the very least, even just reading through the workbook section provided a sort of summary review of her main topics.
July 18, 2020
I have to be honest, this book didn’t capture me right away. I almost gave up on it but I’m so glad I didn’t! This was an excellent book! I have really shifted my views on my life and habits and gave me some concrete information to use to help improve my life. I highly recommend it.
August 7, 2020
Great concept, but the writing was kind of all over the place. Very repetitive, lots of platitudes. Just...meh. But the idea of becoming aware of soft addictions we all secretly hate like binging Netflix and never having silence and wasting time ...Very helpful for that.
January 1, 2021
I really wanted to like this book...the concept rang so true for me. I found it dissolved into a self-actualizing mess pretty quickly and I got tired of reading about my life of MORE (all caps). Ugh.
November 13, 2018
Soft addictions are real...and this book really put some things into perspective for me. Good read!
August 30, 2024
Didn’t finish. It’s an interesting idea! But the book is poorly written and too repetitive - it makes it difficult to get through.
March 15, 2015
A great book that brings together many life changing principles in a way you can grasp.
However the first 90 pages I found unwieldy - which is why I think it is nit rated as well here as the book should be.
If you stick to it by page 93 (chapter 5) the book really takes off. Chapter 6 is a masterful exposition of how to see past our soft addictions to reveal our deep inner yearnings. This then powers you to reveal your vision - and then in my case at least, to reveal the ONE Question that drove me, spoken of at the books beginning.
However the first 90 pages I found unwieldy - which is why I think it is nit rated as well here as the book should be.
If you stick to it by page 93 (chapter 5) the book really takes off. Chapter 6 is a masterful exposition of how to see past our soft addictions to reveal our deep inner yearnings. This then powers you to reveal your vision - and then in my case at least, to reveal the ONE Question that drove me, spoken of at the books beginning.
May 26, 2009
It reads like a typical self-help book but goes a bit further. She forces you to look at your life from a quality stand point. She encourages you to form a ONE DECISION & life by it. Mine is corny: "I live a conscious life, I value myself & am always genuine." It's helped me to say "no" to things that don't add quality to my life.
March 5, 2011
The thesis (many of us have "soft addictions") is fine and perceptive/insightful. But there the usefulness ends. As "solutions" go, there is effectively none in the book (besides "stop doing it"). One of the few books I've actually abandoned in frustration — it's just full of stories with the basic plot "Person X decided to improve her life and did so", with nothing actually useful to the reader.
February 19, 2013
This is a fantastic book about how to make your life full of MORE. More fun, more love, more intimacy. We do this by doing LESS of all the stupid crap: watching too much TV, eating, shopping, gossiping, procrastinating, fill in your addiction here.... Very helpful and practical advice.
October 25, 2007
I know, self help is cheesy, but I met the author through my job recently and decided to check this out. And frankly, she's not wrong.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews