The Enneagram of Emotional Intelligence: A Journey to Personal and Professional Success

by Scott Allender, Ian Cron (Foreword)

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is one of the biggest predictors of personal and professional success, and the key to effectively developing your EQ is tying it to your own personality type. In this book, certified EQ coach and Enneagram teacher Scott Allender helps you chart a personality-specific path toward lasting emotional intelligence and health. Allender uses the popular Enneagram framework to illuminate how each of the nine personality types aligns with the five essential skills of emotional self-perception, self-expression, interpersonal relationships, decision making, and stress management. You'll discover how to
· break free from the hidden fears that dictate your choices
· make more intentional decisions
· better understand the emotional dynamics of colleagues, friends, and family
· and more

In this journey toward radical self-awareness, you'll learn how to combat the self-limiting beliefs that keep you from living the life you were meant to live all along.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Personal Development, Relationships

222 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2023

Reviews

[Tara Cignarella · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review: This started off very interesting and I was excited to learn more about Enneagram personality tests but instead I was overwhelmed. There seems to be a lot of info and repeat info and I feel unless you truly comprehend Enneagram this is not the book for you. Once learn more I will try this book again. I felt I knew a good amount but clearly I do not.
Recommended For: Those who know a lot about Enneagram and need more.

[Christina Mullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read. I've read several books on the enneagram and enjoyed this one the most. Scott brought fresh perspective on things I thought I already knew. This book paired with another read by Bob Goff (Dream Big) has changed the trajectory of my life.

[Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as a refresher and I really enjoyed it! This will be one that I recommend alongside The Road Back to You as a means to begin the journey of deepening the work beyond ‘what is my type?’. Great, accessible resource!

[R Bhatia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book to read if you want to understand yourself better, why you may react in certain ways to certain situations and what may be holding you back. If you are familiar with the Enneagram types, Scott Allender walks you through the emotional intelligence measures of each Ennea-type, from self-perception to stress management, and describes some practices that can help us stay at high awareness levels.

The writing style is easy to understand and keeps the reader engaged throughout. Throughout the book, the author provides examples from his work and personal life, which help connect with the author. A good book to have on your bookshelf if you are on a journey of self discovery.

[Kasia Hubbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scott Allender takes us on a journey through the Enneagram, but not in what you're used to in just identifying the different types of the Enneagram and how we can identify where we are, but how we can take the Enneagram and our personal reflections of ourselves to a deeper level of understanding our woundedness and how to rise above it to functioning at a healthier level of ourselves rather than using the Enneagram number as a full stop, this is who I am, take it or leave it mentality. Taking into account our Emotional Intelligence, and honestly, how much work we're willing to do within ourselves, this is not only achievable, but worthy of the endeavor. Not only is the Enneagram about our inner personality mixed with our woundedness, but I really like Scott Allender's explanation of how it really is more than that, that it's a mask we learn to adopt in our younger selves to survive, and now how it's hindering our process in our adult years. Scott Allender isn't just someone gathering information to relay it to the masses, but has a real interest in helping us achieve a better understanding of the Enneagram and how we can use this to learn how we are hindering our own growing process and how we can move past those hinderances to better growth and development and understanding of our selves to be more successful, no matter what we do. Scott Allender is a student of some of the big names in the Enneagram field, from Riso to Ian Morgan Cron, so he really is informative of this field. This book is not only for the beginners to Enneagram, but also for those who have read and researched deeper into it. Excellent tool and so very helpful!!!
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

[Kasia Hubbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scott Allender takes us on a journey through the Enneagram, but not in what you're used to in just identifying the different types of the Enneagram and how we can identify where we are, but how we can take the Enneagram and our personal reflections of ourselves to a deeper level of understanding our woundedness and how to rise above it to functioning at a healthier level of ourselves rather than using the Enneagram number as a full stop, this is who I am, take it or leave it mentality. Taking into account our Emotional Intelligence, and honestly, how much work we're willing to do within ourselves, this is not only achievable, but worthy of the endeavor. Not only is the Enneagram about our inner personality mixed with our woundedness, but I really like Scott Allender's explanation of how it really is more than that, that it's a mask we learn to adopt in our younger selves to survive, and now how it's hindering our process in our adult years. Scott Allender isn't just someone gathering information to relay it to the masses, but has a real interest in helping us achieve a better understanding of the Enneagram and how we can use this to learn how we are hindering our own growing process and how we can move past those hinderances to better growth and development and understanding of our selves to be more successful, no matter what we do. Scott Allender is a student of some of the big names in the Enneagram field, from Riso to Ian Morgan Cron, so he really is informative of this field. This book is not only for the beginners to Enneagram, but also for those who have read and researched deeper into it. Excellent tool and so very helpful!!!
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been following several Enneagram accounts for the last six months or so, but this is my first Enneagram book. I read it as soon as I received it. I haven't quite figured out what number Enneagram I am (I'm thinking a nine wing one), and this book was really helpful. As someone who is relatively new to Enneagrams, I appreciated all of the information included. There are some nice charts describing predominant traits of each Enneagram type.

I liked how the author went through each Enneagram type, providing details about how they function And high and low awareness relative to a number of different activities, including stress management, self-expression, decision, making, interpersonal relationships, and self perception. Regardless, of which type I really am, much of the information was helpful and applicable. I will definitely use this book as a reference. The chapters also include reflective questions, which would be great prompts for journaling.

As a social worker, I'm very interested in emotional intelligence, so very much enjoyed going deeper into emotional processing and Enneagram types. As I mentioned earlier, there's lots of useful and applicable information to support increased self-awareness.

Thanks to the publisher for a copy. All opinions are my own.

['Pak Phrae · Rating 5 out of 5]

thought-provoking. insightful. 5 ⭐️.

as a Five, i approve. i do believe knowledge is power, and when we can apply it to the real world, it's unstoppable. my energy is limited, that's why i must know and manage everything effectively — yes, self-sufficient.
all of my early years, i love being an observer until i raised self-awareness and realised being a participant is also joyful. after i stopped lying to myself that i understand life and the world thoroughly, i felt free. life must be lived and not just studied.
when i'm confident, i can be bossy and commanding. when i'm stressed, i'm done with thinking, and all about sensory pleasure.
my icy exterior is a way of protecting my inner world, which is rich with thoughts, emotions, and a strong sense of identity. it's my sacred place. as Wing 4, i have a vast emotional landscape, but rather experiencing emotions directly; i think about them (in low awareness).

undoubtedly, this is a remarkable resource for utilizing the Enneagram to shed light on various aspects of my emotional composition that I had not recognized before.

[Jo Mears · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I love about this book is it is clearly written by someone who has done/is doing the hard work of self development. It speaks to me on a human level which helps me trust the guidance and recommendations of the author and helps me feel as though I'm in safe hands as I explore these very powerful tools to raise my own self awareness.

Not only is this book hugely insightful, it brings together both the enneagram and emotional intelligence framework in a simple and easy to understand manner, it's also practical and has helped me understand myself more and given me ways to enable me to start to make changes to live as my best self. I'm looking forward to continuing this journey. I would highly recommend this book

[Amy N · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written practical and concrete advice to improve the quality of your life.

Many people who learn the Enneagram system justify their feelings and behaviors using their type. The Enneagram accurately explains the essence of their repetitive struggles in life. However, that approach misses the point of the Enneagram. It is not designed to keep you stuck. Instead, it is a powerful path of self awareness, healing and growth. This book provides valuable insights regarding how to use your Enneagram type to develop EQ through your self perception, self expression, interpersonal relationships, decision-making, and stress management. A worthwhile read for anyone consciously on their path.

[Ferren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book isn't perfect, but I will say it has been my favorite book I've read about the Enneagram so far! I wouldn't recommend this book for people new to the Enneagram. But I would recommend this book for those who know at least a little bit about the Enneagram and are hoping to grow.

I loved how it talked about more positive qualities and traits of the different types (other books tend to just focus on the negative) and how we can grow and improve in our lives instead of just being stuck in a box of a limited personality.

[Dr. B · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book cause I was intrigued by the title. I have never heard of the Enneagram before and was intrigued by the premise.

Although I found this read quite interesting, I’m not particularly fond of the idea of putting humans in labelled boxes and treating them accordingly. Seems like a simplistic approach to rather complex beings.

In a nutshell, I’m not a big fan of the Enneagram but this was definitely a thought-provoking read.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has it all. Scott talks about emotional intelligence as it relates to stress, relationships and even body awareness. He helps reads to know exactly how to move from fear and default reactions toward courage and transformation. Each enneagram personality type can become emotionally aware and efficient. Excellent resource for my coaching practice.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

While you could read this without having read about the enneagram before, I think you’d glean more if you first read an intro to the enneagram book. I appreciated that this looked at the enneagram through the lense of emotional intelligence, which is different from other enneagram books I’ve read.

[Valerie Biggam · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

📕Easy quick skim of relevant chapters/sections.
📕Going to read the other one I checked out from the library’s Enneagram display and see how it compares.

🫥If you don’t know your type or some basic info about Enneagrams, this book won’t make sense to you.

[Jean Gomes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gave me a completely new take on emotional intelligence, which I found incredibly helpful - there's so much wisdom and practicality here.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book combining the personality types in the Enneagram and the concept of EQ or emotional intelligence. While I had read about the enneagram before, I didn't know much about EQ.

I liked the way the author broke every concept down by the 9 personality types, and further by their healthy and unhealthy aspects. I learned that I had mistyped myself, although I found a lot of overlap. The most helpful section to me was about decision making. It really clarified the difference between the type I identify with now and the type I classified myself as in the past.

At times the book was a little repetitive. I would recommend it for those interested in psychology and EQ, but I wouldn't recommend starting your research into the enneagram with this book. However, there is a lot of information available on the internet.

I received this book for free from the publisher and NetGalley in return for an honest unbiased review. My opinions are my own.

[Mary Reilly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find the Enneagram helpful and this book had some interesting connections to make.

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clear, inspiring, and succinct. My interest in enneagram is rekindled and my determination to discover is renewed.

[Laura Woods · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a good book. 3.5. Maybe I’m just not in the right head space or maybe I’ve just spent too much time with the enneagram and I’m bored.

[Amber Gregory · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better enneagram books. I love the deep dive into centers of intelligence ☺️

[Trish Boese · Rating 4 out of 5]

4* I liked this book very much; it had a few new ideas. The author makes a good case as to why self-awareness is important, and how lack of self-awareness continues to harm ourselves and others. My fave quote: "Type One goal: To be spontaneous. To do less. To allow mistakes to happen. To choose fun over duty."

[Iola · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve read several books on the Enneagram, so the early part of this book didn’t really add anything to my previous knowledge. Anyone with even basic familiarity of the Enneagram could probably skip this section.

For those who are unfamiliar, here is the potted version: there are nine Enneagram “types”, numbered one to nine. Each type has a motivation and a wound. We each have a dominant type, and will gravitate toward another type when we are in healthy growth patterns, but will gravitate toward a different type when we are in an unhealthy stress pattern.

My biggest issue with the Enneagram as a principle isn’t that we can never expect to reach perfection on Earth (which lines up with Jesus’s teaching and—if we’re honest—with what we know about ourselves), but that the whole premise is circular: a healthy One will become a Seven, and an unhealthy Seven will become a One. That implies One is better than Seven, right? But no. A healthy Seven becomes a Five. A healthy Five becomes an Eight. A healthy Eight becomes a Two, a healthy Two becomes a Four, and a healthy Four becomes a One. And you’re back at the beginning.

All this reads like humanity striving toward evolution rather than seeking God-driven transformation (which makes sense, given the author apparently has a podcast called The Evolving Leader). As I read through my notes, I realised the author might have been trying to say that an emotionally healthy person won’t have a single Enneagram type: they will exhibit strengths from all the types. I guess that means they have evolved? Either way, this idea was not explored in this book, or even mentioned in any of the previous Enneagram titles I’ve read.

I didn’t think the book made sufficient case for why we should change. It assumed the reader wanted to change, wanted to become a “better” person, but spent more time using the Enneagram to explain how someone can move from Type A to Type B rather than asking why someone might want to change. Perhaps the author felt that was unnecessary.

Perhaps they assumed someone reading a self-help book already wants to change?

After introducing the concept of the Enneagram, the author then introduces emotional intelligence, a concept popularised (but not invented by) psychologist and writer Daniel Goleman. The premise of emotional intelligence (aka EI) is that EI is the best predictor of success, not “regular” intelligence.

There are five essential skills of emotional intelligence:

Self-perception
Self-expression
Interpersonal relationships
Decision-making
Stress management

Scott Allender does a good job of explaining each of these essential skills from both a personal and professional context, making the valuable point that an emotionally intelligent organisation creates better working conditions that allow people do to their best work.

However, the book then got bogged down by Allender trying to explain how each of the nine Enneagram Types might react in growth and in stress with each of these five essential skills. Five times nine is forty-five, which meant there was lots of information but insufficient detail on any specific skill or type. This discourse also assumed the reader knew their Enneagram type and their EI strengths or growth areas.

Despite the fact this book is published by Baker Books (an imprint of evangelical publisher Baker Publishing Group), the underlying message seemed to imply we’re all aiming for self-awareness but can never achieve it, and that we’re all doing it under our own efforts, as if there is no Jesus, no saviour.

It all felt more Buddhist than Christian. For example, Allender says:

"Fours, for example, are prone to feelings of shame because of the false belief that they are flawed in some way."

Yes, we are flawed. John 3:16 teaches us that we are all sinners. Allender also says:

"I believe that somewhere in each of us is a sense that something’s not quite right."

Isn’t that the Jesus-shaped hole in each of us that the Holy Spirit wants to fill?

And:

"The Enneagram has been my vehicle for releasing my false narratives and stepping into a truer story."

Really? I suggest he try reading the Bible.

Despite these issues, The Enneagram of Emotional Intelligence was a worthwhile read: it has convinced me there is nothing even vaguely Christian about the Enneagram, despite its growing popularity in parts of the church. It has also convinced me that I need to read Daniel Goleman’s original book on Emotional Intelligence if I want to understand the topic.

Thanks to Baker Books and NetGalley for providing a free ebook for review.

[Mara Vernon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great framing of the Enneagram and EQ.

[MK Wildeman · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are enneagram-ed out, this book offers a different perspective on the enneagram. I found the layout and organization a bit complicated and a little unclear, but otherwise I found the info to be helpful and interesting.

[Iman Binagh Dirige · Rating 5 out of 5]

"God and Ancestors truly bless and protect our good hearts, pure souls, genuine intentions, altruistic character, kindness, integrity, compassionate empathy, benevolent nature, insight, intuition, introspection, optimistic minds, joyful energy, high self-esteem with modest self-confidence, emotional intelligence, accountability, humanity, transparency as an open book, humbleness, and our yearn to always ensure we stay on top of our sin of sloth/self-effacement as a Social Instinct 9w1 FiNeSiTe INFP-A and sin of non-sexual lust/intensity as a Social Instinct 8w9 TeNiSeFi ENTJ-A. God is good!"

The above has been my Pinterest vision board foundation since beginning our beautiful little ohana's enneagram journey in January 2019. For the past four years, I've personally been on an incredible journey of finding & sharing more enneagram knowledge with others - whether with a beloved family member, family friend, amicable neighbor, and often a fellow humble human being we meet to talk story whilst heading home to our Puerto Rico from our military home in the mainland.

'The Enneagram of Emotional Intelligence: A Journey to Personal and Professional Success' by Scott Alexander has definitely been added to our list.🌻

Goodreads review shared publicly July 1st 2023 - coincides with our Pinterest vision boards for our humble Dirige Ohana.🌻

[magda · Rating 2 out of 5]

5 ꙳
generally speaking it's a good book for improvement, but naming it "the enneagram of emotional intelligence" is mistaken, because the book doesn't focus on enneagram as much as it focuses on an easy examples how to improve your consciousness and let go of what limits you.
for me it was too little, but i am sure that if someone knows literally zero about enneagram, this reading may be useful for development.