Cutting Apples

by jomé rain

Written amidst the Covid-19 pandemic, Cutting Apples is a memoir which examines life through an intimate stream of consciousness. Jomé Rain wanders mentally across topics such as her relationship with her mother, sex work, the end of a friendship, music, love, mental health, and the inner monologue that dictates how one navigates their world.



CW - domestic violence, thoughts of suicide

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

90 pages, Paperback

Published November 11, 2022

About the author

jomé rain is a twenty-something year old multi disciplinary artist and full service sex worker, currently living in nyc.

Reviews

[Stitching Ghost]

That was an absolutely stunning reading experience.

The book contains an abundance of quotable lines, and the writing just flows quite beautifully. While it's a memoir of short period in the author's life it really read more like poetry for most of it. The stream of consciousness format tends to be very hit or miss for me because it can easily expose the poverty of one's inner life but I found this one to be both relatable and insightful.

No star rating because I don't put star ratings on memoirs.

Many thanks to Querencia Press for the digital review copy.

[The Bibliophile Doctor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Forever and always, I am reminded: Love is a process of release.

This memoir is well written but I found it quite jumbled. It felt like author was writing a journal of thoughts everyday and then published it as a book. Revisiting the blurb, it turned out that's how it is but I would have loved to have some flow in this random streàm of consciousness.

Jomé Rain is 22 years old sex worker and this memoir she has written during the COVID-19 pandemic. I realise that it was period of depression for most people. This book shows how difficult it was for Jomé, the vulnerability was portrayed delicately and it felt raw and exposed to read it.

There are many lines that I wanted to underline coz they were beautiful and overall I liked it, I just feel that if it had a fluency or rhythm to follow, I would have enjoyed it even more.

Some of my favourite quotes

So much of the pain that comes from other people's judgment of me is really my self-inflicted critique borrowing their voices in my head. Very rarely do people accuse me of the things I imagine them doing.


I never know what pushes a man to graduate from yelling to hitting. It was always a very thin line, in my experience.



Perspective is a funny thing, but sometimes all you need to do is speak.


Loving you is a ritual. One I am quite attached to.


When you are hurt before asking why before seeking revenge when are hurt before all treat your wounds


Thank you Netgalley and Querencia press for the wonderful ARC in exchange of an honest review.

[Pádraig Hogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cutting Apples is a brilliant book that takes the reader on a journey through love and love lost and love unrequited in such a masterful way, you don't know where you're going to end up until the very last sentence.

The way the language evolved throughout the book, from a distant, almost apathetic narrator who put equal weight on all things (the dish the narrator was preparing and the physical abuse that a friend endured from a partner receiving the same amount of attention and care) into one of pure, unapologetic and authentic emotion flowed perfectly in these tight 90 pages.

I loved the focus from the heartbreak both following us throughout the book but also being shown as less and less important in the shadow of the desire for love and acceptance from the mother. The way the only dialogue that wasn't reported from the narrator came in the form of sending songs back and forth, giving voice at the end to this character who we had only otherwise heard about, was a very clever ending for that storyline, and the way then the mother was the sole focus of the final chapter, but also wrapping up the other storylines.

Everything in this book relied on everything else in this book. A lot of what I wrote above feels jumbled and nonsensical, and yet that's how this book feels (in a good way) because that's how love feels and relationships with parents feel and how being in quarantine felt. There's no review of this book that simply reading the book itself wouldn't tell you better. I can't recommend it enough and I look forward to reading what else jomé rain puts into the world.

[Meli F · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a memoir, but it reads like poetry.

It's 2020, the quarantine has just started and the author takes a deep dive into her life and her thoughts while cutting apples in this mix of diary entry/unsent message/stream of consciousness.

She's going through a heartbreak and we join her in the path of self-reflection, grief, and healing. She's also trying to figure out her relationship with her family, learning who she is, and picking apart the elements of her own chaos in order to understand herself better.

We get to see her while she thoroughly takes apart her feelings about depression, anxiety, pain, and loss.

This book was a painful reminder of how confusing and overwhelming your early twenties can be. The "me" from the past resonated with a lot of her angst and struggles.

CW - domestic violence, thoughts of suicide

*Received through NetGalley

[Nicole Perkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cutting Apples by Jome Rain is a jewel of a book. Rain's stream of consciousness writing style may at first seem like an odd approach for a memoir, but it is perfect for this piece, one that was written during an odd time as the world struggled to make sense of COVID-19. Rain's memoir is written as an undated, ongoing letter to an unnamed love, a love not quite lost, but you feel the fragility of this relationship. Rain allows herself to be vulnerable, she tells her readers her fears, her heartaches, her insecurities and her hopes. She invites readers to witness a very personal analysis of her relationship with her mother; I found this quite affecting in its complete oppositeness to my own relationship with my mother. In reading Rain's memoir, I was driven to my own contemplation of the relationships in my life. Therein lies the power of this memoir, I think. Jome Rain has crafted an engaging book, opening herself to strangers to see her most private thoughts, and causing them to step away and look within themselves. I have read few memoirs that have caused me to do this. I cannot recommend this book enough. You will find yourself stopping to reread lines, to consider how they relate to your own experience. It will cause you to look within and consider what you have thought to be absolute.

[Kristiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written during the 2020 lockdowns, Jomé Rain's stream of consciousness style memoir documents what it is like to spend quarantine alone. Many of us during the pandemic were forced to sit with ourselves, comfort and accompany ourselves through a globally traumatic event. Even the littlest things became monumental and Rain demonstrates this perfectly as the speaker begins with simply cutting apples.

Rain's writing style, for me, is a glorious mix reminiscent of J. D. Salinger and Sabrina Benaim; except Rain's speaker is far more likeable than Holden Caulfield (I say that even when Catcher in the Rye is my favourite novel). The repetition used to drive home both isolation and emotion recalls Benaim's slam poetry style, inviting any reader into the speaker's psyche and body. Rain allows us to find ourselves in the speaker's conscience, allows us to stay a while, and remember how often we have felt the same.

"I am sad because life is made of manipulations, and I am sad because I'm no fucking good at them. I am sad because I am crying, and that only makes me cry more. I am sad because I feel embarrassed of being made to cry by a woman who had no intention to have that effect on me and has also possibly and probably lost her mind."

At the forefront of Cutting Apples are romantic and familial relationships; the relationships tested at a time of distance and the inability to communicate physically. And I loved how honest Rain's reflections were. We are taught we are a combination of our parents but those who wish to break cycles and end generational trauma often find this a hard pill to swallow. Rain's speaker swallows it.

"I keep making strides to un-crazy myself and I can only get so far before the tree comes knocking to remind me that I'm an apple."

There is forgiveness here too. The time alone, in which we were forced to sit with our past, present and future, prompted a kaleidoscope of emotion. Rain discovers both anger and peace. Particularly in how Rain remembers others - how Rain chooses to remember others. This moved me as it is a kind yet stern reminder that we are instrumental in how we allow others to impact us. The simple truth that we do not have to hold on to the troubles of others, they are not ours to carry.

"And when she goes, I say a prayer that she will be safe on her journey, and I pray too that it will bring her back to me again."

A lot of writing was born out of the pandemic but Cutting Apples is special because despite the time within which it was written, the content and the reflections upon others and the self it holds is timeless. Rain's work is an opportunity to delve into the self and solitude.

[Caitlin Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gorgeous look inside of a self-examining mind totally focused on extracting wisdom, truth, and healing from the aftershocks of a heartbreak. Rain manages to wear her vulnerability fiercely while asking the reader (upon whom she projects the image of the 'ex') provocative questions and coming to terms with herself and the world in a way that feels deeply relatable. It's a comforting read without being remotely coddling, and inspires deeply compassionate self-reflection and honesty.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An intimate and emotional stream of consciousness.

It's impossible to stop reading it, as it feels like peaking into the room of a young person trying to focus on their feelings. Jomé reminiscences about her past loves, her present, her life and her mum.

Cutting Apples is extremely relatable and reminded me of myself at her age. 100% recommended.