Ellie Pillai is Brown

by Christine Pillainayagam

The perfect coming-of-age romance by the most spectacularly funny and original debut voice.My name is Ellie. Ellie Pillai . . . And I suppose I am a little bit weird, but then, aren't we all, just a little bit?Most days, Ellie Pillai is somewhere between invisible, and not very cool - and usually she's okay with that. But suddenly, Ellie feels different. Maybe it's the new boy at school who makes her brain explode into rainbows every time she sees him (and also happens to be going out with her best friend), or maybe it's her new drama teacher, the one who seems to have noticed she exists. Suddenly, her misfit style, her skin colour, her songwriting and all that getting lost in the music in her head seem to be okay too. Because maybe standing out isn't a bad thing after all.'I adored this.' Simon James Green, author of Alex in Wonderland'I loved the fresh and original voice.' Bookseller, Highlights of the Season'A hilarious and heart-warming story.' Aisha Bushby, author of A Pocketful of Stars'Warm, funny and hopeful.' A M Dassu, author of Boy, Everywhere'A fresh, funny, feel-good story.' Rashmi Sirdeshpande

Genres: Young Adult, Audiobook, Romance, Coming Of Age, Fiction, Contemporary

411 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 5, 2022

Reviews

[Quill&Queer · Rating 4 out of 5]

One for Heartstopper fans, Ellie Pillai shows the reality of being a brown girl in a small white town wonderfully, her quirky personality, love of old music and Sri Lankan background not fitting in well with her peers. I liked that her friend group could all have their own books written about them, and their struggles with their identities and home life really added to the story.

[Noah de Campos Neto · Rating 5 out of 5]

I dont get why people rate this book low. It’s not very common to read a book with a main character of colour which reads like a romcom. I loved it and I even cried

[inês · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars
Ellie is very much a dramatic teenager (shocker) and every time I was about to judge her for it, I remembered what I wrote in my diary back in 2011 and figured I was not one to talk.
The message was really gracefully delivered and the music really made it a unique experience for me. The only part I wish had been more fleshed out was the romance - it felt a bit out of nowhere when we learn that [you know who] had feelings for ellie all along for me.
Really recommend to all those looking for a light and fun YA book.

[hans · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't think I read much of fiction with POC character so was quite delighted to receive this new debut with such main character. 𝙀𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙋𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙞 𝙄𝙨 𝘽𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣 followed a heartwarming journey of Ellie Pillai during her adolescent years, being a Sri Lankan teen living in a different culture community with her strict and successful parents that always wanted her to be the best (to achieve her potential as what her mom always said) though in reality, she was always think she deserves to be sitting inside the invisible bubble and to feel awkwardly weird most of the times.

Revolves mostly on friendship, family conflicts, bit on sexuality and those emotional hurdles and mental crisis of finding and exploring one's identify, the plot was a bit cliché to me yet quite interesting as it goes. Love the fast tempo and how it relates to music with few song references (as Ellie loves to write song and involves in school drama a lyric book was included at the back). The development filled with Ellie's school life and her interactions with both of her good friends, Hayley and Jess. Few unexpected incidents that tested their friendship, a new drama teacher who suddenly seems to notice her existence, also a romance encountered when Ash the new boy transferred to her school.

Love the characters dynamic although mostly were freaking overly dramatic and Ellie did frustrate me somehow when she goes judging her opinion and not trusting her friends when they said she was good (don't go being too toxic to yourself, kiddo). A draggy mid part with unnecessary dialogues/scenes (think it could actually be less than 400 pages?) that it bores me a little. Appreciate the family related conflicts as I think the author did well in tackling two situations of psychological struggles from both Ellie and Jess POVs-- both emotionally-driven and uplifting to me.

An easily expected plot yet quite charming for a debut and bit swooningly cute too (oh~ James!). A recommendation if you're searching for another YA fiction with POC character and coming-of-age narrative. 3.5 stars to this!

Thank you Times Reads for sending me a proof copy for review!

[Anchana · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/4.5
the grip every poc YA has on me needs to be studied i think i will continue eating these up till im 50 it’s quite embarassing
(also tech i finished this in one day but like 12am blah blah)

anyways, i could relate to ellie quite a lot at the start ngl she was givin me in secondary i had to pause and close the book a couple of times i would have flashbacks but thankfully for ellie she discovered herself when she was in y11 my cock fr

there a significant amount of romance i would say but when ash called her beautiful ??? yeah ate that sHIT UPPPPP nothing eats as much as a struggling-to-love herself protagonist and a cyock book bf 😍

i think the friendships and family was done really well, her and jessica acc kinda slapped ngl… alas i was tearing up at some points of the book which is crazy 🤪

reminded me a lot of joya goffney book and you all know me i love me a bit of joya but this protagonist was acc tamil crazy!!!

the only thing i would say is personally i wouldn’t get the old white music she was talking bout all the time i only listen to killer killer captain miller cuz im an alpha /j 💪🏾 and also she said she didn’t know who aishwarya rai was and that’s jus bs

who wants to buy me the next book !!!!

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute romance YA boek, ging ook veel over muziek en af en toe kon je QR-codes scannen en kreeg je een lied te horen dat speciaal is geschreven voor dit boek, dat maakte het wel een stuk leuker

[Sophia Irene · Rating 2 out of 5]

You know what’s sad about this? It had so much potential.

A Sri Lankan lead, a biracial Indian love interest and a queer love story. A beautiful relationship of grief, loss and finding your voice. It’s extremely interesting with the music peppered in the story throughout and the QR code linked to a playlist BY the author of the songs sung by the lead… just an incredible idea.

But instead I found this book whiney and the characters annoying. Every time I started enjoying scenes of it something came around and completely threw it off. There is cliches and then there’s a story that felt like you packed it up with cliches for the sake of having romance? This story deals with some heavy topics too. Death of a sibling, parent and minor. It talks about sexual assault and pregnancy after loss. About identity, racism, homophobia and not belonging.

And sadly only like one of those topics are given the time to develop, instead the rest feel rushed or just there to be a cliche. This story had potential and I hope the writer has taken this experience to make her next novels better.

[Nadiya · Rating 5 out of 5]

as previously stated, incredibly envious that children get to grow up and see themselves in books now. the books reminded me of angus thongs & perfect snogging, with its sleepy town setting, best friends falling for siblings who are older, and the feeling that everyone is normal but you. i wish i had this when i was 15, i wish i could’ve felt seen in every way, from not feeling worthy to my troubles with my parents. it made me laugh and cry even at my big age.

[Sophia (taylor's version) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this wayy more than I thought i would💘

[lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this so much omgg. At first i tought its not gonna be a 5-star read because i was a little judgy about the decription where it says that "Ellie likes Jess´s Boyfriend "(which is not the case at all).
Also I had so much fun was adding songs to my playlist!!
ANDDD Jess and Elina!? that was a good twist.

[Desirée]

dnf. Not judging this, because it IS a ya and I am 26, but this read way to young for me. I still really enjoy the occasional ya, but this one wasn't a match for me sadly.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Sri Lankan girl obsessed with music? Am I Ellie Pillai??

Really liked the concept and how I could see myself in Ellie but didn't love the execution (also couldn't stand either of her besties).

[Liliya ♡︎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was so fun to add new songs to my Playlist.

[Amy (Golden Books Girl) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won a giveaway copy of this ages ago and I knew I’d enjoy it, so I have no idea what took me so long, but I know myself well (at least in terms of books!) and I was absolutely right that it would be an enjoyable read for me. It follows a Sri Lankan-English girl named Ellie Pillai, who is navigating the stresses of school and shifting friendship dynamics, which become even more complex when a new boy starts at school and she falls for him despite him being with her best friend. I think my favourite thing about this was that it very much has the coming of age, British John Hughes-style vibe I was expecting, but kind of turns some the typical beats of that story around and subverts expectations, to the point I actually wasn’t sure who would end up with who because there were so many plausible possibilities for how things could turn out. The characters are all so multi dimensional and layered that again, no one felt like a stereotype or even like a character because they just felt like people you could know for real, which again was reminiscent of John Hughes (for the record, he is my favourite director/producer of all time, so this is a Very Big Compliment in case it is construed in a different way). The music references totally did it for me and my music geek heart, and the main romance lowkey gave me butterflies because it was adorable and built on connecting through songs and it just made me happy. The way it did turn out, though, was for the record the way I wanted it to be, and I’ve heard there’s going to be a sequel so I will absolutely be reading that so I can see some more of these characters.

[Bookish_frog · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
I liked most things about this book, and if it wasn’t for the age gap romance it would have a higher rating. The age gap wasn’t super big - the fmc Ellie was 15 and in year 11, and the LI was 17 and in year 13 but that just makes me really uncomfortable.
Apart from that though, I enjoyed getting to see Ellie’s confidence grow. I think I would have liked this more had I read it when I was 15 because I struggled a bit with how immature Ellie was, but it made the story more realistic. I liked how music was interwoven throughout the story and how it meant so much to her, but I found her constant hallucinations of singers really weird. I related to her being insecure and that making her shy, but it got frustrating when she kept isolating herself from others without much reason for it. There were some sensitive topics which I think were handled well, and I enjoyed seeing her complicated relationship with her parents, especially her mother. Overall, the writing style was easy to read and if it wasn’t for the age gap in the romance I would recommend this, but unfortunately for this reason I won’t be reading the next book.
Bonus: I found this very similar to ‘Fat chance, Charlie Vega’ by Crystal Maldonado, so if you enjoyed one you might enjoy the other, or if you liked the sound of this but don’t like the age gap, I would definitely recommend Maldonado’s book instead🩷

[elbow ☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

definitely not my favourite kind of book but still cute! and i really enjoyed the musical accompaniment that christine wrote, it was pretty cool to listen to ellies songs as they were being written. but... romance isn't my favourite genre and neither were her songs 😭

however it was really refreshing to read about a brown girl who doesn't hate herself/her parents/her culture (ahem mindy kaling) and i liked how the characters didn't all fall into a stereotype as they usually do. 4 stars.

[Nivi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not what I normally like to read but the British Tamil representation made my heart so happy :)

[Vaishali · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

This was so incredibly young-adult (YA) and thus, the perfect palate cleanser after all the heavy dystopian books.

Ellie Pillai is your average high-schooler: desperate to fit in despite standing out. She’s incredibly introverted and stuck in her own world, ruled by albums and artists before her time. But this year, things are changing. There’s a boy who makes her heart jump out of her chest and a new drama teacher who finally sees Ellie for all of her potential. Ellie knows it’s time to step into the limelight and not stay hidden in the shadows

There were so many times I was cringing but I think that’s just because I’m not the target audience. I’m sure when I was 15, I thought and acted the same way so I can’t really judge. Miscommunication is one of my least favourite tropes in books but I think it fits well within the genre and this book, in particular. It’s not overdone but still makes the point.

I loved the representation in this book and I can only imagine how Ellie feels, being one of the few people of colour in a predominantly white neighbourhood. She tackles the topic of racism and presentation in mainstream media very deftly whilst also ensuring that it’s still very accessible to a younger audience.

[Sweena · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 / 3 out of 5 ... My rating might change to a 2 star because honestly, I didn't really enjoy this as much as I wanted to but there are some things I appreciated.

Seeing a Tamil character is always nice and I felt empathetic towards Ellie, especially in terms of feeling lost and just not knowing how to go about wanting to do what she wants whilst still trying to make her parents proud. A typically, Tamil / Asian struggle I feel like. The friendships were also very cute and very high school like, which made me feel nostalgic at times. This is also a read that's perfect for fans of Never Have I Ever is what I also felt.

One of the main reasons as to why I didn't really enjoy this because I just felt that this is for really a young audience and because of this, even the writing and plot felt childish and very exaggerated and made me not really want to carry on. I don't think I'd recommend this book to people my age , but I'll definitely pass my copy onto my younger cousins as this is the type of book I would have really appreciated and loved if I was a lot younger.

[Orla Pollock · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 🌟 !! honestly thought this was pretty good, though it had a kinda slow start. I thought it was really relatable about the relationships and the music. But the mc kinda annoyed me. like she clearly liked this guy and he SAID he liked her, so why'd she not just tell him? it just created so much excess drama.

[hannah ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

honestly very apt for a ya coming-of-age. ellie was very much a teen w teenage struggles that feel like the whole world is just Out to get you and it was believable, accurately cringe, and a little bit silly.

[marzipan · Rating 3 out of 5]

lesbian plot twist 😱😱 slightly cringe writing but not awful definitely too long

[Frederike · Rating 5 out of 5]

A one of a kind YA romcom, addressing the issue of grief, friendship and identity partly through the songs Ellie writes and we can listen to via QR code and the honesty with which she examines her life

[nele · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, I actually don‘t know where to start.. Christine Pillainayagam wrote all in all an amazing book. I loved that the reader was able to experience Ellie’s character development in such a personal way as we get access to her thoughts. It was like being a close friend to her and experiencing everything from her perspective. I was so glad for the positive ending Ellie was able to experience even though it was very expectable.. This is why I’d only give 4 stars. Nevermind, if you are into teenage romances I would warmly recommend this book to you.

[Peace Love Plan & Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ellie lives in the shadow of everyone with no idea how to love being herself. The arrival of twins Ash and Elina in year 13 shakes up her friendship group, bringing drama and having Ellie question who she is.

I feel a little oddly about this book. Ultimately I think the story is an important one about the experience of first and second generation children of immigrants in the UK and adapting to western culture whilst retaining their heritage. A lot of this book is about that, but it’s also not about it enough in a way. Ellie is 15 and I get that 15 year olds with romantic persuasions are going to think about love interests a lot, but the amount of the book that felt like Ellie needed saving by Ash just didn’t sit well with me because it really wasn’t actually the aim of the story.

There’s a lot of grief and trauma addressed particularly with Jess and Ellie’s relationship with her parents. The latter was dealt with well but the former felt a little under explored if incredibly sad.

There are music and film references GALORE in this, a small percentage of which I think a YA would actually know (let’s face it, my generation watched Friends not them). I’ve seen a lot of the ones referenced and even then I felt on the outside, so I would be concerned how a 2024 YA would deal with the amount of references to pre 1995 music and film. It almost felt like this was a book for my generation to wish they’d been able to explore their sexuality and identity at 15 than it is for the current generation.

[Gabriella · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars! 💫

This book was an enjoyable young adult read. Ever since seeing the title, it resonated with me and I knew I had to pick it up and read it at some point. I didn't realise this was a British-based story, which was a lovely surprise.

I do not think I have read a lot of books in this genre but this was quite sweet!

Identity, friendship and growth were big themes throughout the book. Whilst there were some aspects of romance, it felt like the author appreciated the fact that these were just 15-year-olds growing through a journey at school. So that was nice to see; that the main character didn't just 'fall in love' and actually, took the time to figure herself out and be with her friends more than anything.

Would have been lovely for my younger self to have read this book and I think that's important! Brown girls, you are seen and you are worthy! 💕 A beautiful message to the younger generation and even younger adults too.

The creative aspect and accompanying music written by the author was intriguing to connect with! Creativity is awesome.

Overall, enjoyable read. Not my most favourite read ever but not bad at all! 🫶🏽

Unlikely to pick up the other two books in the series at the moment... spoiled the third book for myself! 😭

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

This debut absolutely blew me away. The writing is charismatic and lively and Ellie’s character shines through. This is the kind of story that highlights the best of humanity, friendship, and what it really means to find your voice and confidence within.

The music woven into the story and the importance it holds for Ellie is a brilliant addition, and I loved the references made to bands from all over the decades. Pillainayagam’s inclusion of lyrics in the book was genius, merging medias in that way worked so well.

The twist towards the end completely threw me, I hadn’t expected it at all which I loved, and I marvel at how well Pillainayagam celebrates so many elements of identity. There are so many characters for readers to relate to, either entirely or partially, and I have no doubt that anyone who picks this book up will find something of themselves within it.

[Farah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a lovely little book, very nearly a 4-star read for me! It's not often you find South Asian rep in YA fiction, and I could definitely relate to some elements of Ellie's experience. This has a cute premise following Ellie's (highly dramatic!) trials and tribulations at school, with family, friends and potential love interests, interspersed with musical interludes.

My main critique was quite how much was packed in, including themes of dishonesty, low self esteem, grief, sexual assault, alcohol abuse, LGBTQ+ characters, post-child loss pregnancy, teacher crushes (!)...you name it, this had it.

But overall a very enjoyable read and I would thoroughly recommend the audiobook.

[Camilla Chester · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved a whole tonne of stuff about this book.

It was a sweet, honest coming of age story with friendship and romance and families and drama.

I loved all the cultural, family scenes and Ellie’s love of songwriting. I liked the school set up and her relationship with her drama teacher.

The only reason I went for 4 rather than 5 stars was I felt it was way too long and dragged in places. I also got fed up with her internal doubts. I know this was important for her character arc but it got repetitive and wore me down at times.

Definitely a worthy winner though and I thoroughly enjoyed the book.

Great for fans of Heartstopper.

[mayabossuyt · Rating 3 out of 5]

“How easy it is to get lost in relationships, because there’s no one else I want to talk to, no one else I’d rather see. Its like the Beatles, “There’s a Place” - that line that talks about the things someone says, and does, and you just can’t stop thinking about.”

-

3.75 stars!! cute but a bit long and boring sometimes

I love Ellie, despite the fact that she could a little bit annoying sometimes. She doesn’t see herself that way, but she just gives me the feeling to just say f*ck you to everything and everyone and just be your own weird self.

And I need green eyeliner.
And an Ash (I mean, he listens to Nirvana? Just marry him already istg).