Citizen Orlov

Citizen Orlov #1

by Jonathan Payne

Not every fishmonger can be a secret agent.

Journey to an unnamed mountainous country in central Europe at the end of the Great War. Enter Citizen Orlov, a simple fishmonger and an honest, upright citizen, who stumbles into the Ministry of Security, and consequently a hidden world of espionage and secrecy. His first assignment? To safeguard the King when he visits the scenic town of Kufzig.

But Orlov soon discovers that his ministry handler, the alluring but-couldn’t-possibly-be-a-femme-fatale Agent Zelle, is planning not to protect the King but to assassinate him. Caught in a web of plot and counterplot, confusing loyalties, and explosive betrayals, Orlov finds himself on trial for murder. He has an opportunity to clear his name—but with his friends, mother, and fellow citizens’ lives in the balance, freedom comes at a high cost.

Genres: Fiction, Mystery, Thriller, Humor, Audiobook, Satire, Mystery Thriller

288 pages, Hardcover

First published May 23, 2023

About the author

Jonathan Payne is a British-American writer based in New York City. His first novel, CITIZEN ORLOV, was named a Book of the Month by Apple Books. It won the 2024 IBPA Silver Medal for Mystery/Thriller and the 2024 IPPY Bronze Medal for Suspense/Thriller. The sequel, HOTEL MELIKOV, was published in November 2025.

Reviews

[Beata · Rating 3 out of 5]

The novel is a satire that touches the world of the secret agents, and it was fun to listen to thanks to excellent narration by Mr Campbell, however, this is certainly not a novel that will stay with me for long.
Citizen Orlov, a proud but rather ordinary fishmonger, answers a phone as it seems there is nobody else to do so, and becomes involved in actions he has never anticipated. The novel is not set in a particular country or period but the names suggest somewhere in Central Europe, during the reign of a monarch whose life is endangered by groups believed to be revolutionaries and terrorists. Citizen Orlov decides to convey the message and this move results in the chain of events that leave him overwhelmed.
I like the way the novel ends, but I did not warm up to any character in particular, which is not what I appreciate while reading a book.
*Many thanks to Jonathan Payne, CamCat Books, and NetGalley for a free audiobook in exchange for my honest review.*

[Kate O'Shea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd have to put this book somewhere between Kafka and Patrick deWitt. There are definite Kafkian undertones in a storyline that circles round several times but its a lot funnier than Kafka.

Citizen Orlov, a worker on a fishmongers market stall, begins with our unlikely hero answering a ringing telephone. It's quite possible that we'd do the same and Orliv certainly doesn't anticipate the sequence of events that follows where he starts by simply having to give a message to an agent of the state and ends up (the first time) embroiled in "matters of national security".

You are definitely under no illusion that despite the country being ruled by a king, that king is a mere puppet of the state. Orlov finds himself getting deeper and deeper without ever really knowing what he is doing. The story slips and slides around him and you definitely get the impression that Orlov is constantly out of his depth.

I was going to give this 3 stars but I had to award it one more for the end because i really didn't see that coming at all.

I listened to the audio version and it was very clearly read by Tim Campbell. Orlov comes across as bewildered and Agent Zelner (probably spelling it wrong) is the perfect side of untrustworthy.

Thankyou to Netgalley and Camcat Books for the advance review copy.

[AdiTurbo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well-written parody of the absurdity of politics in non-democratic countries (and maybe in democratic ones as well), offering a derogative look at political obsession, political ambition, pointless bureaucracy and the oppressive state of the common man under a totalitarian regime. It reads like a thriller, holding the reader in suspense throughout while never taking itself seriously with a tongue-in-cheek kind of humor.
But on the other hand, there's something lacking - some poignancy, a clearer message that connects this tale of woe with the current state of world politics and how it changes a person, even when they initially mean well. I appreciate an author who respects my intelligence and trusts me to fill in the gaps, but this time it felt like a stronger say would've made this read a more satisfying one.
Even with this caveat, I feel like I discovered a new author-of-interest here, and intend to follow Payne's work from now on.

[Susan Ouellette · Rating 5 out of 5]

CITIZEN ORLOV, the debut novel by Jonathan Payne, is a funny and often poignant tale of an ordinary man who gets caught up in extraordinary circumstances far beyond his control. Orlov is not your stereotypical spy thriller hero. He’s a fishmonger, selling fish at the local market and doing everything possible to be a good citizen of the fictitious European country in which he resides. It’s this desire to do the right thing that propels him, albeit by accident, into a whirlwind of political upheaval, assassination attempts, deception, duplicity, and danger.

Citizen Orlov stumbles from one crisis to the next, but through it all, we cheer him on when things go his way and fret when they don’t. He’s 1984’s Winston Smith, only more likable and lacking any intent to rebel against the system. The good Citizen simply wants to do the right thing. Will that be enough for him to save his homeland from disaster? To save himself and his loved ones? You’ll have to read this thoroughly enjoyable novel to find out.

[George Bounacos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Citizen Orlov is a joy to read. Smiles and audible chuckles await readers throughout this smart sendup of spy novels. Payne's story of the gentle Citizen Orlov is reminiscent of Pratchett's Discworld where things are familiar yet different. There's a dash of Vonnegut in there as well, and I even felt the presence of Peter Sellers' lovable Chauncy from the movie "Being There".

Payne writes much deeper than satire. Orlov's naiveite is his superpower when dealing with a world that he thought he understood. He is an ingratiating enough character to make me want to leap into the pages and help when the author meticulously lays out the next conundrum in full view of the reader.

Don't feel bad for Citizen Orlov. He has issues, but he is also a stalwart figure in his universe, the reliable employee, son, and neighbor. It's therefore fitting that his introduction to the reader and beginning of the conflicts we see begin with him helping a person unknown to him.

Well paced and with a protagonist who deserves a bright spotlight, Citizen Orlov is a gem of a novel with smart observations about nationalism, loyalty, and perseverance.

[Dea꧂ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5
Our fishmonger citizen Orlov got himself into series of unfortunate events that ended up quite nicely for him. I enjoyed this satirical spy thriller with our outstanding citizen who stumbled down into Ministry of Security and the world of political intrigue and espionage.
I didn't expect much from our hero nor from the story but both Orlov and me accidentally got quite caught up in this captivating scenario.
I wish I had Orlov's level of adaptability to weird day to day trials and tribulations.

[Jason Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightful, absurdist spy romp in the vein of Terry Gilliam or Joseph Heller. Loved the whipsmart dialogue and Orlov’s stoic resilience in the face of batshit crazy events.

A very fun read.

[David Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

When the 'everyman' becomes a spy fun and excitement ensues.

Citizen Orlov is a simple man helping to run a fish stand at the local market. Taking a shortcut through an alley he reaches through an open window to answer a phone when no one else does. This sets him on an adventure that neither him nor I will soon forget. His innocent desire to complete the task he was given turns into a journey filled with espionage, betrayals, intrigue and murder. It also leads to him going to prison and the life of his mother in jeopardy. It will take all his wit and a bit of humor to figure out how to solve the dilemma he finds himself in.

I simply loved this easy and quick read. Orlov is a wonderful character who you can't help but fall in love with. The twists and turns or plot and counterplot make for one of the most enjoyable spy novels I've ever read. The unnamed mountainous European country is the perfect setting for this little gem of a book. If you're looking for a light but delightful story that you can finish in a day, I highly recommend you seek this one out!

Thank you to the author, CamCat Books and Suzy Approved Book Tours for the gifted copy and including me on this tour.

[Ted · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would describe this book as a kind of "not to be taken seriously" fantasy-fiction thriller. It's written in a style that is reminiscent of the thriller/adventure genre of the 1930s and 40s by authors like Eric Ambler, John Buchan or Helen MacInnes. The difference between those older examples of the genre and this work is that in Citizen Orlov there is little attempt to create believable characters or to make events seem realistic or even plausible. In that sense, the book reads a bit like a cartoonish imitation of those earlier thrillers or the screenplay for a zany 1930's film, starring Jack Oakie as Orlov. It's an easy read, with a few unusual plot twists, some funny moments and a happy "all's well" ending.

[Ellis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hard to put down! Simple, yet complex, story about citizen Orlov, an ordinary man who does some extraordinary things. We follow along as his life changes in just a few moments, all because of a ringing telephone. The charcters were vivid and I enjoyed the ways they interacted while not knowing who could be trusted. If you like Fredrik Backman, you’ll probably like this.

[Knjiga i Kavica · Rating 5 out of 5]

RECENZIJA
Gradanin Orlov - Jonathan Payne
5⭐️
Negdje u nekom neimenovanom srednjoeuropskom kraljevstvu (koje po imenima ljudi i mjesta neodoljivo podsjeća na prostore koje je zauzimala Austro- Ugarska Monarhija potkraj Prvog svjetskog rata) jedan će dobronamjerni prodavač u ribarnici, imenom Orlov, pri povratku s posla krenuti kući prečicom. Prolazeći između zgrada dvaju ministarstava, zastat će pored otvorenog prozora u prizemlju. U praznoj sobi na stolu zvoni telefon, panično i bez prestanka. (To pokazuje ilustracija Milana Trenca na naslovnoj stranici, tako da zasad još niste saznali ništa novo o ovoj knjizi.) Od tog trenutka događaji se nižu vrtoglavom brzinom. Građanin Orlov će, u želji da pomogne, uskočiti kroz prozor i javiti se na telefon te će od nepoznatog sugovornika dobiti samo kratko naređenje da smjesta pronađe agenta Koseka i prenese mu poruku koja je pitanje života ili smrti za monarhiju. Orlov će pokušati u zgradi ministarstva pronaći Koseka, ali u totalnom kaosu koji vlada među zaposlenicima, njega će zamijeniti s Kosekom i poslati u nemoguću misiju da spriječi atentat na kralja. Ova urnebesna špijunska priča odvijat će se pred vašim očima kao neki teatar apsurda, prepuna zamijenjenih identiteta i političkih zakulisnih igara u kojima će nevješti novi operativac Orlov zbuniti svoje protivnike prostodušnim rješavanjem najkompliciranijih situacija. Johnatan Payne već je svojim prvim romanon “Građanin Orlov” privukao pažnju književnih kritičara. Satiričnim kafkijanskim tonom, u maniri iskusnih pisaca špijunskih trilera, natjerat će vas da pomislite kako su njegovi likovi jednodimenzionalni... a onda slijede neočekivani obrati.
.
Odlična knjiga prepuna crnog humora, sarkazma i onog slow burn građenja krimića koji toliko dobro oslikava svu silu kompleksnosti radnje. Politička previranja kao i parodija koju oslikavaju nude sliku današnjeg svijeta, ali na tako simpatičan način da se vrlo lako može previdjeti poruka koju šalju.
🔝📚🪴
#mojapreporuka

[Kim Burett-Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun summer read. Fast paced and very well written.

[Tom Rogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate enough to win a copy of this novel at a book fair of sorts at a local coffee shop. I was expecting a straightforward spy story, but I was pleasantly surprised by the dry British humor and satire. Recommended!

[Josh Fowler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read, definitely a humorous tale on government conspiracy and political parties. I enjoyed the character of Citizen Orlov, very easy to root for. Super quick read with fun twists and turns. I’m not super into politics so I didn’t totally vibe with this book like others may have, but it was still a fun read with likable characters and a nonstop pace.

[Jerome Badot · Rating 1 out of 5]

So boring. I couldn't finish it.

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love a debut novel. I was blown away with Citizen Orlov.

Such a privilege to start a journey with a new author with the launch of their first novel.

When I was made aware of the second book in this series I quickly had to play catch up and start at the beginning.

So glad I did. This is such an original book, following a memorable character from market place to ministerial corridors. From selling fish to sharing secrets.

On one level it is a satirical book; by its very nature set in a fragile state, where government is trying to protect the ruling monarchy and repress revolutionary elements.

Citizen Orlov gets caught up in this mix and his humanity is the key ingredient in making this story work. He is not the most intelligent or forward pushing individual but he is a protective son, a loyal friend and has a desire to overturn injustice and make a difference where he can.

As a spy novel it works splendidly but while the enfolding events are life changing and serious in terms of threat, endangerment and violence the story is more ironic and humorous.

It reminded me of Andrey Kurkov’s Kyiv mysteries, and some distant recollections of reading The Little World of Don Camillo nearly 50 years ago.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me think of a mashup of Animal Farm and Don Quixote...

[Paul Morrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this. A simple premise, an innocent fishmonger drawn into a web of intrigue in an unidentified mitteleuropean country, is built into a compelling and funny tale. I love this sort of plot, like the 39 Steps, where a series of events draws the protagonist and reader into a conspiracy populated by spies, revolutionaries and royalty. It is atmospheric and funny. The setting is never precisely specified in time and place, though probably in the inter-war period. However it is given a contemporary feel by the highly topical satirical elements around how bureaucracies operate and the state and citizens interact. This is no doubt informed by the author's previous life working for the UK Government as an advisor on national security issues. I strongly urge you to join Citizen Orlov in his unexpected journey.

[Melissa P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

🏔 Won in a giveaway ⛰️

This was a fun read! So Citizen Orlov is a regular, blue collar worker as a fishmonger. A good man. He answers a random ringing phone and is told he has been chosen by a group to work undercover for them. He doesn't know what he's doing or how he got chosen. He brings comic relief to the story with his reactions to his new surroundings. He's extremely likeable, in my opinion. He goes against the group when he believes they are doing something wrong (I won't spoil it by saying what it was). So he gets into some trouble along the way and one of the women in the group tells him he must do what she says or his mother may be harmed. I felt so bad for him here. Orlov, like I said, is very likeable, funny, smart and very resourceful. He adapts well to change. This book had action, some humor and emotion. It's very well written and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I recommend this one. Thank you, to the author, Jonathan Payne (for signing the book as well! That was a nice surprise 😊), CamCat Books and Goodreads for my free copy. I would very much like to read another about Orlov if more come out. Happy reading! 🙂🐟🐠

[Barry Fulton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Citizen Orlov is a not-put-downable spy novel farce. Set after the Great War in Central Europe, Orlov is content with his life as a simple fishmonger till he impulsively reaches through a window of a government building to answer a ringing telephone. Driven by naivete and patriotism, he feels compelled to follow the caller’s direction: locate and pass a secret message to Agent Kosek, a man he doesn’t know. Always well meaning, Orlov stumbles from one disaster to another—bombings, blackmail, kidnapping, incarceration, and assassination.

Be sure to continue beyond the first chapter (“In which our hero meets a new and unexpected challenge”) to enjoy Jonathan Payne’ imaginative telling of Orlov’s absurd adventures. Difficult to compare to others, but I’d say the style is a cross between Graham Greene’s Our Man in Havana and Alice in Wonderland—with the cultural flavor of Charles Latimer’s 1939 novel, A Coffin for Dimitrios.

[Debbie Rozier · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book which is a combination spy thriller and satire.

Come to the mountains of Central Europe and meet Citizen Orlov who is a fishmonger. While he is taking a shortcut, he answers a ringing phone from an open window in an office in the Ministries of Security and Intelligence.

This begins Citizen Orlov’s life as a spy. There are assassination plots, espionage, radical political groups, kidnapping, and double agents. Citizen Orlov is only trying to do the right thing and the story that unfolds is fabulous.

I have two favorites in this book. One favorite is the chapter names. They are some of the best I’ve read in a hot minute. The second favorite is the ending..I can’t say any more about that.

This would make a completely entertaining movie!

[Hasina Begum · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not too sure how to review this one, it started off as entertaining but did start to get a bit confusing towards the end. I think I might have missed the point of the story but I found the main character difficult to like or find interesting.

[Jonathan Payne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mountains! Spies! Intrigue! Espionage! Almost certainly worth reading.

[Carey Calvert · Rating 5 out of 5]

As much as Citizen Orlov is a comic spy / espionage and subversive tale, it is as much an allegory to the dangers of authoritarianism. But it is never Too much of anything. It is well paced and even thrilling without the expectation. The only expectation of Jonathan Payne’s debut novel is that it is funny.

Citizen Orlov is very much that.

Payne, a British-American writer based in DC has drummed up shades of Jerzy Kosinski’s best known work, Being There (I read the book and saw the movie!), and welcomed chance embodied by a fishmonger named Orlov.

Opportunity and chance play major supporting roles in Citizen Orlov; however, neither usurps their relation to the story.

“In the world of spies, he’s a fish out of water.”

The joke’s on us.

Orlov is also a simple man who believes in doing the right thing. His naivete notwithstanding, Citizen Orlov is an “upright and patriotic citizen.”  When duty calls, he alone must answer the bell.

While taking a shortcut that happens to pass a government building, Citizen Orlov hears a ringing telephone through a ground floor window. He’s not quite sure to which branch of government; either the Ministry of Intelligence or the Ministry of Security.

Mistaken for an agent upon answering, his instructions are to convey a message to an Agent Kosek.

The caller opines “Why do they always give me the village idiot?”

Apparently, the caller has been here before.

Nonetheless, the damage is done, and Chapter Two summons our hero to set out on a journey.

Each chapter finds Orlov in a set of circumstances outside of his control; however, the ways in which Orlov seizes or stumbles into a solution, propels the narrative and makes you want to turn the page.

For example, Chapter Three is the one “In which our hero finds himself in mortal danger.”

The trap is set.

You’re along for the intrigue and Orlov’s growth, as much as the farce because he still bumbles along.

How does Payne do it?

I’ve read the novel can be compared to Conan Doyle’s Brigadier General, and Nabokov’s Invitation to a Beheading, neither of which I’ve read, and high praise nonetheless, but I really can’t wait to read what Payne has in store.

[Ink · Rating 5 out of 5]

Citizen Orlov written by Jonathan Payne and narrated by Tim Campbell is an Orwellian Satire whereby a humble Fishmongers assistant rises to the position of Minister of Security. The distance between the two vocations is extensive enough, but the path between them is a route of espionage, intrigue, mistaken identity and duplicity, all resulting from just one phone call

Orlov is a fantastic protagonist, just going with the flow, trying to do the right thing and really not the sharpest tool in the shed. I admit to chuckling each time the author mentioned him "lumbering". I also liked Venev, Orlov's boss the fishmonger, and also comrade of the Peoples front. The Mata Hari of the tale is quite the villainess and she keeps Orlov tied up in knots at every turn, not least by having his mother kidnapped. But how does he rise to being the Minister of Security, and where does a misplaced bomb plot fit in?

The audiobook is simply brilliant and had me captivated throughout. Campbell flits easily between gender, character and cadence, meeting each turn in the narrative with ease. A really enjoyable listen

Jonathan Payne is hilarious while still conveying a deeper observation of dystopic authoritarian social structures which are also evident in certain contemporary soceities. I was utterly intrigued and would recommend this book highly. Brilliant!

Thank you to Netgalley, Camcat Books | Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), Members' Audiobooks and the brilliant author Jonathan Payne and narrator Tim Campbell for this highly entertaining and thought-provoking ALC. My review is left voluntarily and all opinions are my own

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I selected this off the library shelf completely at random - I don't like spy stories. I don't like mysteries. But the inside flap copy was short ("When a simple fishmonger is unexpectedly invited to join the Ministry of Security, he imagines a new life of danger, daring, and romance. But he discovers that sinister forces at the heart of the government are seeking to exploit him, and soon finds himself on trial for murder.") and it vaguely reminded me of 1984 or similar books featuring dystopian politics. The instinct was good.

Citizen Orlov definitely spends most of its time indirectly bashing what feels like an Eastern European government (we never really find out where we are) but ultimately gives us a rather tongue-in-cheek everyman who rockets up the governmental chain-of-command. Before he can do that, however, he becomes an unwitting Ministry pawn who fears for the safety not only of himself but for his boss, mother, and an entire band of political protesters.

While this reads like political satire, we don't have to sit through a lot of exposition about the organizations and players - we get thrown into it along with Orlov and learn surprisingly little along the way but enough to know - things ain't right. It's not James Bond level espionage but it's compellingly shady all the same.

I'll def keep an eye out for Payne's next book.

[James Stejskal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jonathan Payne’s Citizen Orlov is a tale of a common man intwined in a complex story of betrayal, spies, and saboteurs.
It begins when a hapless fishmonger, Citizen Orlov, stumbles into a world of treachery that is as surreal as it is ridiculous. A story that takes place in a far-off land possibly somewhere in the Balkans, sometime around the Great War of the last century,
Some have compared Orlov to Kafka’s writings. I prefer to compare it to Jaroslav Hasek’s book: Good Soldier Švejk, where a seemingly witless soldier Josef Švejk continuously confounds his superiors with absurdities to avoid going to war.
Similarly, Orlov is at first blissfully unaware that he is being used as a stooge, held hostage to a security apparatus as their pawn in attempt to seize power—at least until his “bad luck” causes their plan to go sideways.
In the end, the only thing that really matters is his loyalty to family and friends.
Payne has given us an entertainingly suspenseful and comic pan of all things surrounding the secrecy and trappings of power.

[Zuko's Honor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel as if I've never read a book quite like this--actually, this is the kind of book I don't normally read. Yet I was at my local library, the cover caught my eye, and I decided, "Alright, I'll give it a try." Was I expecting it to be good? Eh. Was it good? YES.

I honestly love how unique the premise of this book is. I'm no expert in spy novels, but I do feel like this one is special. A fishmonger accidentally stumbling into the job of a spy makes for an interesting (and humorous) read, and things only seem to get more and more complicated for him. The fast pace works well, and the novel itself was a good length--not drawn out or cut short. The ending was a surprising resolution, and even the last paragraph was masterfully written to tie back into the story's beginning. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves espionage...and somewhat clueless protagonists.

[Leane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining and funny, this is a take-off on many a spy thriller as it satires both the genre and the bureaucratic hierarchy and political reality. Hapless and clueless, Citizen Orlov stumbles into his involvement with the Ministry of Security and finds himself in one ridiculous, but sometimes dangerous, predicament after another. Orlov is a great CH as he becomes more aware and more proficient in his ability to game the system. Most of the other CHs are types and that is on purpose. Great dialogue, and Tone builds as topography and weather play into the plot. The setting could be any unnamed mountainous country in central Europe at the end of the Great War, and the fish mongering details as educational as the plotting and politics. The style is straightforward with Chapter titles that reflect the plot developments, and exquisite black & white drawings between each part of the novel .This is a quick read that anyone who reads spy fiction will appreciate or anyone who just wants a good chuckle. The wit of C.K. Chesterton laced with a bit of satirical Kafka may also appeal readers who appreciate to Mick Herron, Chris Pavone, and Alexander McCall Smith’s The Private Life of Spies. And maybe Jasper Fforde.

[Sarah W · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a quick read and while it had most of the aspects of a spy novel, it had more satire, which I loved. The dry humor made it very entertaining on top of the action packed plot. The society was unique and well developed. Orlov got himself into sticky situations and he just went with it. He figured if he could get through one mission with the agency, he could then go back to his normal life, but that was not the case. I loved how he got more confident as the story continued and lost “blind faith” he had for the Ministry of Security. At times, I couldn’t understand why Orlov decided to go along with the Ministry, but it was the anticipation of who would come out on top in the end that pulled me in. This was a fun read!

Thank you @jon7payne and @suzyapprovedbooktours for the gifted copy.