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Why I Adopted My Husband: The True Story of a Gay Couple Seeking Legal Recognition in Japan

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Why I Adopted My Husband is a profound exploration of love, societal expectations, and individuals' lengths to solidify their bonds. Yagi's storytelling prowess and the manga's impactful message position it as a must-read, shedding light on the challenges LGBTQ couples navigate in Japan."As a gay couple living in Japan (where gay marriage is not yet legal), Yuta and Kyota have found a unique loophole in order for the government to recognize their Kyota adopted Yuta.

This nonfiction manga depicts how the two men met and fell in love, their life together for the last twenty years, their struggle to communicate their relationship to their families, their anxieties about the future, and their determination to live happily and carefree as any other married couple, while they strive for independence and equal rights in a changing cultural landscape.

"If you know nothing about what homosexuality or LGBTQ people, Why I Adopted My Husband is a perfect introduction and learning tool. It also teaches you about Japanese culture, how many family traditions are ingrained into law, and how that's both a comfort to people and can hinder LGBTQ people who want to live their lives. It's cute and funny and gets the points across with a spoonful of sugar instead of a hammer." — Adi Tantimedh, Bleeding Cool

"Why I Adopted My Husband is a profound exploration of love, societal expectations, and individuals' lengths to solidify their bonds. Yagi's storytelling prowess and the manga's impactful message position it as a must-read, shedding light on the challenges LGBTQ couples navigate in Japan."Travis Hayward, Geek Therapy

"There are tips on how a gay couple can go the adoption route, like information on contracts. It even includes a section showing how to fill out the paperwork. This part doesn't pertain to American readers, but the manga is still worth reading because of its well-told story, its look into the realities of gay couples in Japan, and how the characters are relatable — because even if someone isn't in Yuta and [Kyota]'s shoes, the parts about feeling left out would be something everyone can relate to on some level. The fact that both men are otaku (and there are plenty of references to otaku culture) makes telling the story in manga format all the better." Katie Kimura, Otaku USA

148 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 22, 2023

7 people are currently reading
210 people want to read

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Yuta Yagi

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
Profile Image for Rod Brown.
7,362 reviews282 followers
August 2, 2023
Yuta Yagi lays out the dreadful workaround he and his boyfriend had to do to have legal rights in each other's lives in a country that still denies equality to its gay citizens today, six years after this manga was first published.

This is part autobiography and part how-to manual for other gay couples who want to have access to basic things like health decisions and inheritance.

It's just so sad that this has to exist, especially in a country that exports so many LGBTQ+ manga.

Despite the heavy topic and other forms of homophobia in the story, Yagi keeps the tone light as evidenced by his chibi style of drawing on the cover, celebrating his relationship and their little victory over the system.
13 reviews
August 17, 2023
Why I Adopted My Husband is a really cute story about very real love and a very real relationship.

The art was really cute. Everyone is cute even Yagis old fashioned dad.

The story was drama free but didn't feel static. It also did a nice job of explaining what it's like getting married in a culture and system that doesn't fully accept you.

It's such a breezy and quick read. It's the perfect afternoon book.
Profile Image for Liv.
550 reviews17 followers
July 28, 2023
3.5!

Sweet and informative! I don’t know a ton about LGBTQ+ life in other countries, so it was interesting to learn about the option of adoption in Japan. What a clever trick! I feel sympathy for queer folks who cannot live as openly as us in the US (although even that’s shifting lately). But the comedy of being your lover’s child is hilarious—I want to adopt my partner now.
Profile Image for Olive.
923 reviews7 followers
February 27, 2024
It is such an unfortunate circumstance that it is necessary for people to have to adopt their significant other in order to have the same privileges afforded hetero couples. I think it's really nice that the author was able to write their story and put it out there because I had no idea that this was a thing. I'm glad they're living happily though.
Profile Image for Marisa.
330 reviews
February 28, 2023
It has cute artwork and it talks about their everyday lives. But it’s sad, their best option is to stay in the closet as much as possible, grateful that their parents don’t outright hate them for being gay, and that society barely tolerates their mere existence. They have to do so much extra work to get some semblance of the rights that heterosexual couples take for granted, and even then they’re under threat if some homophobic relative wants to fight it.
Profile Image for Tristan.
106 reviews5 followers
September 17, 2023
While the tone of this books seems a bit out-dated by contemporary Western standards—rife with respectability politics such as the constant stressing of how "normal" Yagi and Kyota are, unlike "those" gays—"Why I Adopted My Husband" is worth the read for its eye-opening look into how gay couples in Japan have used the legal loophole of adult adoption to be afforded medical and inheritance rights as a couple while unable to be legally married.
Profile Image for 寿理 宮本.
2,395 reviews16 followers
May 30, 2024
This is a lovely exposé on the difficulty of having a same-sex union in Japan, and the workarounds involved in getting something *sort of* but not really at all like a legally recognised marriage. The short of it is the author's husband adopted him (so... the title's actually the wrong way around, huh).

"Why even bother?" The book goes into that, as well. They were fine just being "roommates" for a time, until they got older and realised that, as legal strangers to each other, they would have no say in what happens if the other becomes hospitalised or dies. It's something that romance never really covers, because illness and death and managing legal red tape aren't that fun to think about, but in a committed relationship, it WILL come up at some point, if because no one is immortal and invincible (...yet?).

In between the graphic novel chapters, there are also some blurbs explaining in greater detail how the adult adoption process works AND the fact that this isn't a perfect work-around, since blood relatives will fight over this and that with legal spouses—much less with adopted family. So some may choose to also have specialised contracts written up, though those too aren't foolproof. Plus, should Japan legalise same-sex marriage, the adoption process might have to be undone in order for same-sex couples like theirs to marry.

The main point of the book is to illustrate *the author's* and his husband's specific choices, to hopefully get their message out there and show younger same-sex couples what their options are in Japan. Even if it's not relevant to you or me specifically, it's an enlightening read!

Recommended, of course, for LGBTQ readers who might live in or even visit Japan—I know our gay friends would like to but are hesitant to even travel there since their union wouldn't be recognised, but I'm not sure what sort of legal hoops they would have to jump through to even approach something like it.
Profile Image for DrCalvin.
365 reviews4 followers
August 20, 2023
A topic that greatly interests me!

This personal diary manga is about a nerdy/otaku couple and how they make things work for them, with the laws and societal homophobia as they stand in Japan currently. There's discussion about coming out, inheritance, healthcare issues and growing old together, prejudice and practicalities and so on. With the little essays to support the comics, it makes it clear how and why adult adoption is an option for many same-sex couples (which marriage regonized on a nationalal level unfortunately isn't), as well as giving advice and warnings about this or other methods of formalized partnership. Recalling the same-sex/gender neutral marriage debates in Sweden and (followed through the internet) the US, I recognize a lot and also see differences based in the existing laws.

Art-and story-wise the manga is serviceable but that's about it.
Many similar things are touched upon on What did you eat yesterday?, which is a fictional but fairly realistic account or a gay couple. I like that better as a read, but the straight-forward and uncomplicated explanations in Why I adopted my husband are more to the point and lays out the facts clearly.

Definitely worth a read if you're interested in LGBTQ+ rights worldwide or curious about queer life and adult adoption in Japan.
Profile Image for The Half-blood Reader.
1,110 reviews50 followers
December 8, 2023
Another poignant autobiographical nonfiction manga that does 2 things:
1. presents what it's like to be gay and a gay couple in Japan
2. normalises how love is love and people aren't stereotypes

I was surprised by the amount of people that still don't know some gay couples in Japan use adoption to have legal rights, since marriage isn't legal there yet. Alongside voluntary guardianship contracts. Just imagine not being able to execute your loved one's will, or respect their medical wishes, be there in the room with them, because the law doesn't see you as family, but roommates! ☹️

It's both informative and cute. It makes me want to cheer Yuta and Kyota in their happiness, you know?

Yuta also brought the valid point that not everyone wants to be out, so even if gay marriage was legal in Japan, they wouldn't go for it. And it was refreshing to see, because nowadays in the West people act like it's obligatory to be out, when not everyone wants to constantly come out to every single person in their lives. Yuta and Kyota have friends who know, and these important people have more sense than to out them. Think about it, straight people having to constantly come out to everyone...
July 27, 2024
This manga talks about the loopholes a same sex couple has to go through to somewhat get the same legal protections and rights a married couple would have in a country where same sex marriage isn't available ( yet—we hope after some time it will be legal everywhere ).

Even with the a subject that can get heavy quite fast, the author keeps it lighthearted with the help of the chibi art style. It's a cute book about a couple just trying to live and talks about the struggles with family and society as well as the doubts the couple goes through themselves.

I also like how it also doesn't try to portray same sex couples as perfect. As any human would, both individuals have their slightly different views and attitude towards the concept as well as habits. The book is fairly transparent on every step in the process and how the couple dealt with it.

It also talks about how their families reacted to the news and how they dealt with that reaction as well as Japanese traditions that can hinder their decision.

It ends on a nice note about them just wanting to live a nice quiet life together.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
4,321 reviews69 followers
September 24, 2023
Equal parts cute, informative, and sad, this autobiographical story recounts how Yuta Yagi and his husband Kyota decided to get married in a country without a legal way for gay people to marry. In their case, they chose adoption - it put them on the same family register and largely allowed for them to be able to take care of each other as family. The book provides a fair amount of information about the process and what may or may not be appealing to people about it, and the couple in question is lovely.

The big "but" here (and you knew that was coming) is that Yagi assumes deeply ingrained homophobia on the part of his readers. That's sad to read, although not entirely unexpected; I'm very fortunate to live somewhere where sexual orientation is becoming less of a barrier to happiness. (Most days, anyway.) It's disheartening to read that Yagi expects his readers to be disgusted by the fact that he's de facto married to another man, and that gives the book a bittersweetness that I wish it didn't have to have.
309 reviews6 followers
November 18, 2023
One of my favorite things about comics is being able to see what life is like across the world. Sure movies can do that as well, but the benefit of comics is you get the more intimate experience of seeing it through an individual's perspective. That is the case with Why I Adopted My Husband.

It is easy to forget that the fight for equal rights for the LGBTQ community is a global one, and what this makes clear is that there is so much more to be done. Considering the lengths this couple and others have to go thrown for basic human rights, like being able to care for your loved one while in the hospital.

Now do not get me wrong this is not a book designed to just make a point over and over. It would be completely understandable, but it is also just a couple dealing with everyday joys and difficulties. Yuta Yagi has a very cartoony style with exaggerated emotions and facial expressions. Great bits of comedy alongside with a lot of personality make it quite the read.
Profile Image for Amanda Broyles.
52 reviews3 followers
June 6, 2023
Thanks to TokyoPop for a galley of this!

This is such a cute manga detailing the daily lives and milestones of a gay couple in Japan. It's really timely too, with such a pushback on LGBTQ rights. Japan currently does not allow marriage for same sex couples, so adoption is one of the only options available. This book did a good job of explaining the process and outlining the pros/cons and other options available to queer couples in Japan. It was really quite heartbreaking to hear the author state that most of Japan is just not ready to accept queer people living their lives openly. This was a really nice look at how normal life is for queer couples and an excellent argument for less open-minded people to see how queer people are just like everyone else. This was a quick read and very cute, but also bittersweet. Definitely recommend.
Profile Image for Kathleen.
1,956 reviews40 followers
October 30, 2024
With the recent court ruling in March of 2024 that failing to recognize same-sex marriage is illegal in Japan, it can be hoped that this graphic memoir will become more of a snapshot in history and less of the How-To booklet the author clearly half-intends it to be. This is a very cute story of a gay couple that falls in love, lives together for twenty years, formalizes a legal relationship so that they can help one another through difficult times, and still don't come out to most of the people in their lives.

It's fascinating, funny, and sweet. It's also a little sad if you consider it more deeply. Yagi ending by saying it's not his intention to promote or call-for same sex marriage, he just wants to live his life, is very telling. I wish him and his husband all the best.
Profile Image for Averil *rat emoji*.
393 reviews2 followers
January 25, 2025
I’m glad this book exists! I had no idea about the state of gay affairs in Japan. However, there were a few things that I found weird. The authors father is straight up abusive, aggressively homophobic, and an alcoholic. But it’s written like this is totally normal and the author sees no problem with it. The mother cared more about how her son’s sexuality would impact her than her son. The husband sounds like the most cringiest things I don’t like about men, just expect the other person to cook and clean, but it’s not my relationship so that’s whatever. Also.. at the end of the book, the author says “we are not trying to condone or promote gayness”. Like?? Is this the worst form of internalised homophobia? Or just their culture??
Profile Image for Jessica Walsh.
Author 9 books24 followers
January 1, 2024
I’m just going to come out and say it. I’m 42 years old when I’m writing this review and I’ve been with my wifey for 22 years and much like the two characters in this manga, we’re just really really big dorks who are comfortable and happy with each other. Told in a comedic format with little fat chibi characters, Why I Adopted My Husband is a look into the comical sort of loopholes people on the fringe of society have to jump through when we aren’t given the same rights as everyone else...

Read the full review at Well, Are They? A Queer Review Blog:
https://wellarethey.blogspot.com/2023...
Profile Image for Emily.
712 reviews7 followers
July 16, 2024
short and sweet, a little real-life accounting of how a gay couple in Japan met and decided to go through an adoption process (where one adopts the other) in order to get legal rights, as an alternative to gay marriage (which is not legal in Japan). informative! also a cute little story about this couple, how they met and moved in together, and made the decisions they did. also goes into their relationships with their parents, and their lives together generally.

(also, I haven't read a new release from Tokyopop in forever, so I guess it's nice they're still alive? here's hoping their business practices are better this time around)

bye
Profile Image for Debo.
573 reviews15 followers
Read
December 6, 2023
This is an interesting window into a Japanese gay couple's life and which path they decided on to have a union that is recognised by the law. Finding out about which options are available to queer people in Japan, that adamantly doesn't recognise gay marriage or civil unions, was interesting. Their path may seem a little homonormative from where I am sitting, but not everyone can and should have to fight the big fight and nobody owes anyone to come out of the closet, so I am glad this portrayal is out there and I am delighted about the two seeming very happy together <3
Profile Image for Bedoorable.
195 reviews1 follower
December 28, 2023
Very interesting thing that I've never heard of. The writer is respectful of his culture and understands and intersectionality of the LGBT community. I feel that a Western eye might see this book as regressive and that everyone should be out and proud. The reality is this isn't accepted in every single culture, im happy there is a loophole in the system for them to be together.
I wish the characters had more dialogue and more backstory about their relationship. I would also like to have seen some color in the artwork. Borrowed after being recommended by jinan
Profile Image for Cory.
20 reviews
December 24, 2024
Very cute art. A really interesting and sweet manga about a gay couple navigating life together in a country without gay marriage. It was an illuminating read for me, as someone who is lucky to have never needed to think about not having access to marriage, my partner not being able to visit me in the hospital if anything were to happen to me, etc. It’s a window into how the community finds ways to cope and take care of ourselves in places where the government won’t do it for us. Would definitely recommend it for that reason!
Profile Image for Christian West.
Author 3 books4 followers
January 24, 2025
A 2017 story about a gay couple in Japan who go through an adoption process (with each other) so that they'll be recognised as legally family if anything happens. It's interesting seeing the processes people can go through to secure their future when marriage isn't a legal option. Also interesting that in 2017 the couple still had to hide who they were, although the first chapter of the book does kind of explain why they do it.
I liked that each chapter was a small meandering story and that each story contributed to learning about the couple and their lives.
Profile Image for Sam D.
28 reviews
July 16, 2023
Wonderful — could hardly put it down. Such a cute couple and what a romantic story 💕 PLUS the author included interesting facts about what it takes to be considered family Officially in the eyes of Japanese law. Even if I disliked the story (???), this novel expanded my awareness of gay culture/struggles outside of my bubble.

tldr; A delightfully easy and informative read :3 Borrow “Why I Adopted My Husband” at your local library!
Profile Image for Melinda.
85 reviews1 follower
September 12, 2023
I'm really enjoying non-fiction manga. They are becoming an excellent resource to teach people about race, gender, sexuality and how other people around the world look & feel about these topics. Japan has always been a place I want to see before I leave this earth and I was unaware of their policies on gay marriage and that other legal options exist. I would highly recommend this to anyone interested in anything lgbtqia2s+.
Profile Image for Raven Black.
2,832 reviews5 followers
July 13, 2023
From 2017 two men show the world their love by becoming father and son.... sort of. When same sex marriages are illegal, how do two men secure their basic rights? In an open, sometimes humorous, look at their journey, we find how two people figure out the ins and outs of love. Straightforward and fast paced, Yuta Yagi's journey is unique and eye opening.
Profile Image for Leanna Keith.
192 reviews3 followers
November 20, 2023
If you're interested in how people deal with the legality of LGBTQ relationships in other countries, this book is super informative on how/why couples might choose to adopt each other in lieu of marriage since same-sex marriage is not yet legal in Japan. The art style is adorable and keeps the whole experience lighthearted.
266 reviews7 followers
May 10, 2023
I had high hopes with this one since I liked "The bride was a boy", and I like learning about the different issues that LGBTQ+ people face in different places/cultures. I just had trouble getting into this one though. Maybe it was the translation? The tone was off for me, and I couldn't finish it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews

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