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Authentic Relating: A Guide to Rich, Meaningful, Nourishing Relationships
Authentic relating is a groundbreaking practice that offers people a way to create profoundly enriching, enlivening, and nourishing relationships in all social domains of life — from the bedroom to the boardroom, with intimate partners, friends, colleagues, perfect strangers, and everyone in between.
Authentic Relating covers every aspect of the practice, introducing readers to skills and tools that have been tested and proven by thousands of people around the world to develop and ultimately master relational intelligence.
After reading this book, you'll be able
• Create nourishing relationships that are built on trust, honesty, integrity, and wholeness
• Spark deep, meaningful, soulful conversations with anyone, anytime, anywhere
• Transform conflict into deeper connection, understanding, and empathy
• Identify and honor your core needs, desires, and boundaries, and those of others
“This is such a useful, comprehensive, insightful, and well-written book. Ryel has a way of framing complex interpersonal dynamics so any reader, whether they have a background in authentic relating or not, can easily connect with the material. I believe Ryel has made good on his promise that absolutely anyone can learn the tools and skills of authentic relating and experience a life-changing shift in the quality of all their relationships.” –Susan Campbell, author of Getting Real and From Triggered to Tranquil
“From the fire of his own hard-won experience, Ryel guides us into the healing temple where relationship is revealed to be path. Grounded, practical, and wise, Authentic Relating is a true gift for anyone interested in the felt experience of aliveness, beauty, and meaning. Take this book into your heart and the gold will be yours.” –Matt Licata, PhD, author of A Healing Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times
“I am convinced that there are two things we need to do as a species, before we can save (1) Learn how to healthily express and resolve our repressed feelings; (2) Learn how to communicate in a safe, authentic manner. This brilliant, revolutionary book moves the needle in both directions. It gives me hope. Highly recommended!” –Jeff Brown, author of Grounded Spirituality and Hearticulations.
“Ryel has an immense commitment, mastery and passion in supporting people to develop relational skills that make their life better in concrete ways. This book holds the most important keys to help you build more nourishing, powerful and enlivening connections across your life. It's down to earth and easy to understand yet points directly to the magic and depths that are possible for us in our relationships.” –John Thompson, co-founder of Circling Europe
“Authentic relating changed my life, shifting me from an unaware, often narcissistic and reactive, wounded human to an awake, aware, empathetic, and caring soul. In the past, the only way to learn these tools was to attend a program and directly from a master teacher or trainer. Now, with Ryel's book, the tools of authentic relating are accessible to anyone who wants to integrate healthy relating into their life and work. Read the book, use the tools, and become the person you've always believed yourself to be.” —Ali Katz, CEO of New Law Business Model and founder of Eyes Wide Open Life
“For a long time, communication skills have been relegated to the rooms of work seminars or therapy. Ryel makes the most compelling case I’ve ever seen for why these skills are absolutely essential for our daily lives.
Authentic Relating covers every aspect of the practice, introducing readers to skills and tools that have been tested and proven by thousands of people around the world to develop and ultimately master relational intelligence.
After reading this book, you'll be able
• Create nourishing relationships that are built on trust, honesty, integrity, and wholeness
• Spark deep, meaningful, soulful conversations with anyone, anytime, anywhere
• Transform conflict into deeper connection, understanding, and empathy
• Identify and honor your core needs, desires, and boundaries, and those of others
“This is such a useful, comprehensive, insightful, and well-written book. Ryel has a way of framing complex interpersonal dynamics so any reader, whether they have a background in authentic relating or not, can easily connect with the material. I believe Ryel has made good on his promise that absolutely anyone can learn the tools and skills of authentic relating and experience a life-changing shift in the quality of all their relationships.” –Susan Campbell, author of Getting Real and From Triggered to Tranquil
“From the fire of his own hard-won experience, Ryel guides us into the healing temple where relationship is revealed to be path. Grounded, practical, and wise, Authentic Relating is a true gift for anyone interested in the felt experience of aliveness, beauty, and meaning. Take this book into your heart and the gold will be yours.” –Matt Licata, PhD, author of A Healing Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times
“I am convinced that there are two things we need to do as a species, before we can save (1) Learn how to healthily express and resolve our repressed feelings; (2) Learn how to communicate in a safe, authentic manner. This brilliant, revolutionary book moves the needle in both directions. It gives me hope. Highly recommended!” –Jeff Brown, author of Grounded Spirituality and Hearticulations.
“Ryel has an immense commitment, mastery and passion in supporting people to develop relational skills that make their life better in concrete ways. This book holds the most important keys to help you build more nourishing, powerful and enlivening connections across your life. It's down to earth and easy to understand yet points directly to the magic and depths that are possible for us in our relationships.” –John Thompson, co-founder of Circling Europe
“Authentic relating changed my life, shifting me from an unaware, often narcissistic and reactive, wounded human to an awake, aware, empathetic, and caring soul. In the past, the only way to learn these tools was to attend a program and directly from a master teacher or trainer. Now, with Ryel's book, the tools of authentic relating are accessible to anyone who wants to integrate healthy relating into their life and work. Read the book, use the tools, and become the person you've always believed yourself to be.” —Ali Katz, CEO of New Law Business Model and founder of Eyes Wide Open Life
“For a long time, communication skills have been relegated to the rooms of work seminars or therapy. Ryel makes the most compelling case I’ve ever seen for why these skills are absolutely essential for our daily lives.
295 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 9, 2022
67 people are currently reading
253 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
July 3, 2023
A book supporting the practice of Authentic Relating, A great primer regarding the introduction to the practices of Authentic Relating skills and tools.
- Ryel, being a co-founder of the practice offers well written insights and enlightenments on some of the well known aspects, allowing many Ah-Hah moments.
- It leaves you with an optimistic view of what life can be within the world and your relationships.
- Reading this after doing my Level 1 and 2 Authentic Relating training was perfect, It allowed me to integrate the teachings and solidify some of the knowledge I thought I had understood, but now understand in a different way due to the book offering other perspectives.
- It offers a bunch of practices to begin Authentic relating, and in doing so, is a perfect book for people wanting to teach and facilitate.
- It taught me the power of asking for someones Impact, It shows care in someones experience, Humility seeks permission.
- Achieving shared reality within equanimity is an important lesson.
Great book.
- Ryel, being a co-founder of the practice offers well written insights and enlightenments on some of the well known aspects, allowing many Ah-Hah moments.
- It leaves you with an optimistic view of what life can be within the world and your relationships.
- Reading this after doing my Level 1 and 2 Authentic Relating training was perfect, It allowed me to integrate the teachings and solidify some of the knowledge I thought I had understood, but now understand in a different way due to the book offering other perspectives.
- It offers a bunch of practices to begin Authentic relating, and in doing so, is a perfect book for people wanting to teach and facilitate.
- It taught me the power of asking for someones Impact, It shows care in someones experience, Humility seeks permission.
- Achieving shared reality within equanimity is an important lesson.
Great book.
October 16, 2023
Practical, secular guide to deepening relationships through vulnerability and transparent communication
August 27, 2025
As someone who has completed Authentic Relating’s Level 2 training and benefited immensely from it, I was excited to dive into this book. I honestly expected it to add more depth to my practice. While it does a good job laying out the foundations of Authentic Relating in a clear and accessible way, I found myself disappointed. Since I’d already experienced the training, there wasn’t much new for me to learn.
If you’re brand new to AR and want a structured introduction, this book is a good starting point. But if you’ve already gone through the workshops and the courses, I’d recommend saving your time and money and continuing with the live training instead. That’s where the real transformation happens✨
If you’re brand new to AR and want a structured introduction, this book is a good starting point. But if you’ve already gone through the workshops and the courses, I’d recommend saving your time and money and continuing with the live training instead. That’s where the real transformation happens✨
August 4, 2024
Ryel's book is a must-read (and re-read). It's so clear and well-written, and it kept me engaged from start to finish. It's deeply insightful and transformative. I strongly believe in the power of Authentic Relating to create more meaningful connections, awareness, intimacy, and love in the world. To me, this is what this book offers if one is willing to work with it and embody its practices: a possibility for profound changes within—and therefore for changes in our relationships and the way we see and interact in the world. A few months ago, I left my home country; Ryel's book is the only one I brought with me. I am so grateful for this precious guide to Authentic Relating.
March 27, 2025
The book very clearly and accessibly describes basic concepts of Authentic relating (in interactions, conflicts, in relationships or just when experiencing life) - a lot of it was not completely new and reminded me what I (hazily) remember about nonviolent communication. At the same time I felt that by increased accessibility and simplifying, the content might have lost some of its potential depth. But I will be going back to the recommend exercises that are conveniently summarised in the last chapter.
November 26, 2022
Transformational!
Having attended level 1 and 2 Authentic Relating courses, I knew that I had to read this book by Ryel. It’s such a practical guide for cultivating transformational relationships (like the course). I love it! It’s a manual to read over and over again.
Having attended level 1 and 2 Authentic Relating courses, I knew that I had to read this book by Ryel. It’s such a practical guide for cultivating transformational relationships (like the course). I love it! It’s a manual to read over and over again.
November 10, 2023
I took the Authentic Relating L1 workshop and now I am in L2. Grateful for having Authentic Relating in my life!
I appreciate this book and a lot of what is in here was briefly covered in the L1 workshop. I am glad that I could use this book to further my study
I appreciate this book and a lot of what is in here was briefly covered in the L1 workshop. I am glad that I could use this book to further my study
December 25, 2022
Freakin' amazing. I want all my friends and future housemates and lovers (may it be so) to read this.
January 25, 2024
Great breakdown on how to relate to someone and communicate. Also, covering scenarios where you, or the other party (or both), may be coming in hot.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews