Sober Spirituality: The Joy of a Mindful Relationship with Alcohol

by Erin Jean Warde

When author and Episcopal priest Erin Jean Warde quit drinking, she heard from many others in a similar situation seeking support. In Sober Spirituality , she combines personal storytelling with theological reflection to offer encouragement, wisdom, and practical insight for listeners who want to reexamine their relationship with alcohol.

Warde explores the way our culture promotes alcohol consumption and shows how we can choose to change our perception of alcohol in our spiritual communities. She names not only the challenges of sobriety and spirituality but also the tremendous gifts and blessings that come through quitting drinking or being more mindful about alcohol use.

Listeners will emerge with a deeper understanding of how their faith informs daily habits and choices. Sober Spirituality also calls the church to a better understanding of how it can ally with recovery communities. Ultimately, this book declares we are all worthy of an abundant and joyful life in mind, body, and soul.

Genres: Nonfiction, Spirituality, Health, Religion

192 pages, Paperback

Published April 18, 2023

Reviews

[Panda Incognito · Rating 4 out of 5]

Erin Jean Warde shares her perspective as an Episcopal priest with a former alcohol problem, explaining how struggled to change her relationship with alcohol because of the drinking culture in her church and denomination. She writes about how harmful alcohol-related cultural norms and expectations are, both in society at large and within progressive churches, and she shares stark realities about alcohol that few people are aware of due to cultural discomfort, the desire to justify drinking, and the alcohol industry's influence at all levels of society, including government-funded research projects.

When she began her sobriety journey, Warde hoped that God would let her keep it private, but thankfully, that didn’t work out. She shares her personal experience here without oversharing, and she informs the reader about the depths of deception and harm in the alcohol industry, the effects of alcohol, and ways that people can change their relationship to alcohol to live better lives. Warde doesn't shame people who drink, but she celebrates the wonders of sobriety, making it clear just how much she missed out on for years by living in an alcohol-induced haze.

She also writes about how even though people often turn to alcohol to numb out from trauma, alcohol usage itself often traps people in a state of trauma due to its effect on the brain and body and the various consequences that follow from drinking to excess. I wish that Warde had mentioned generational cycles of alcohol dependency, with people suffering from alcohol-fueled abuse at home and then becoming addicted as well, but she covers many other relevant dynamics.

Powerful Truth-Telling

Warde shares hard truths without being harsh, and she encourages the "sober curious" to discover a better life and a better version of themselves by changing their relationship with alcohol, regardless whether they choose total abstinence or not. Warde challenges common myths about giving up drinking, and she shares a powerful message of compassion for people who suffer. I wish that her talk about self-forgiveness and self-compassion had been balanced out by more talk about forgiveness from God, but I loved her representation of the prodigal son story.

Warde writes that when she decided to become sober, she was afraid to tell people because drinking felt like a requirement in her church. It was like a badge of honor to show that you're cool, fun, and not a fundamentalist. She calls out ways that progressive church communities harm others by caring more about alcohol than the destruction it unleashes in people's lives, and she addresses specific counterarguments that Christians often bring up, such as the role of alcohol in the Bible. After explaining how alcohol in Bible times was different in both its content and cultural context, she also unpacks the timeless warnings of Proverbs 23 against drunkenness. She encourages churches that use wine as part of communion to avoid irreverent jokes and to provide non-alcoholic alternatives, just as they might offer gluten-free communication wafers.

This book is definitely intended for Christians, and not just because of the church-related advice. Warde writes a lot about death and resurrection, God's love, and spiritual healing, but she rarely unpacks what this means. People who aren't Christians can still benefit from this book, due to the author’s compassionate, non-shaming spirit and highly readable presentation of important information, but they should be aware of how pervasive Christian language and concepts are throughout the book.

Conclusion

Sober Spirituality will appeal to people who are struggling with drinking and want to change, and to those who want to change the discourse around drinking in their environment. Although Warde writes from a very different denominational perspective from mine, people in my denomination have often moved towards permissive attitudes about drinking to distance themselves from their legalistic forebears. One thing this book indirectly challenged me on was to stop using my health issues and dietary restrictions as a way to deflect discussion about me not drinking, when I would rather just say that alcohol is trauma-inflicting poison, and that I do not want to put anything that toxic into my body or support such a predatory industry. This book helped empower me again to say what I really think, instead of feeling like I have to focus on not offending people.

I would encourage Christians to read this regardless of their denomination. Warde directs this to people who share her background in theologically and socially liberal churches, but people with different beliefs and convictions on other issues can filter out the parts that aren't relevant to them and gain tremendous encouragement and wisdom related to thinking rightly about alcohol, changing one's own drinking habits when necessary, and supporting people who struggle with addiction in ways that will help them find freedom and spiritual healing. This book is unique and powerful, and I am thankful for the author's emphatic witness on such a challenging topic.

I received a free ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Ericka Andersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Christian who is almost 3 years sober, I loved this book. Though Erin and I definitely land in different places on some things she covers in the book related to faith, her writing and research is superb. She captures so many important details and considerations and reminds readers of the many, complicated overlaps between alcohol and spiritual community.

A great read for the sober curious and those who want to come alongside people who struggle with alcohol. Also an important course in understanding the deep dangers and risks of alcohol and how it’s killing more people than you know.

[Barb · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was interesting! An Episcoplian female priest who shares her experience with becoming sober. I didn’t know there was a peer pressure issue with this particular job or religion, found that surprising. Honest. A little too religious for me, thinking it would be more “spiritual” based, but you take what you need from a book and it works out. I have never been a heavy drinker but have noticed a trend in mocktails going on and then news that basically for women 1 drink per day is okay but beyond that is too much. And no saving up during the week for the weekend! Plus I have always appreciated my working brain cells and trust genetics are not going to be kind to me…so, there you are. A more aware, perhaps back to my old ways not much of a drinking self.

[Trey Hall]

AA is who helped me get sober and who helps me stay sober — the community of folks and the process of transformation together. But no program or practice has a monopoly on recovery, and if this book (which suggests another, different set of practices and principles from that of AA) helps others be honest about their unhealthy relationship with drugs or alcohol and discover a way of healing, then may it a blessing.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was excellent! There are so few resources that provide a Christian approach to alcohol and addiction based in harm reduction and faith, so I was thrilled to find this. I found it incredibly helpful for my own work and I will be recommending it to others too.

[Kathi Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who grew up with alcoholism in the home, and later became the adult child of someone in recovery, this book feels like a breath of air. I’ve tried to keep a mindful relationship with alcohol for years now because of my own painful history with it. Erin does a beautiful job of affirming mindfulness. She offers grace, and ways for healing that can be transformative.

[Chloe Flanagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sober Spirituality gives a sharp, research-informed critique of how the “Progressive” Church and society at large approaches alcohol consumption while offering hope and inspiration for individuals and spiritual communities to transform that approach for the wellbeing of all concerned. The author accomplishes this with chapters full of relatable personal narrative, engaging exposition, and short, manageable reflection opportunities.

One of the most effective aspects of Sober Spirituality is that it mingles concrete guidance for changing one’s relationship with alcohol and profound insights of theology and faith in an inviting mix of spiritual and practical that eschews the false binary between the two. Mind, body, and soul are each invited to the journey in equal measure, and each has the opportunity to benefit as a result.

This is a wonderful resource for Christians who are sober curious or who are interested in supporting their loved ones and neighbors on their path to sobriety.

[Jennifer Landry · Rating 4 out of 5]

“A call to cultivate your noticing”…there is a lot of thoughtful consideration and challenges in this book that are spurring on an ongoing conversation and consideration of the mindfulness demanded around our cultural, religious and personal regard for alcohol. Thankful to Erin for her work with this book and her thoughtful and vulnerable journey to sobriety without condemnation but simply illumination of a different existence.

[Kelly Pramberger · Rating 3 out of 5]

A look at drinking alcohol and the church / religion. There is a lot of research and each chapter has questions for the reader at the end to reflect.

As someone that has quit drinking almost five years ago this was a valuable book. It gave me more to consider. Thanks to NetGalley for the advanced copy for the purpose of this review. I liked it a lot.

[Melanie Springer Mock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate the thoughtful engagement with the topic of drinking, especially how Christians also get caught up in the culture of alcohol prevalent in the US. While drinking isn't my particular challenge, I appreciate the author's empathetic understanding of what substance abuse looks and feels like, and her ability to convey this clearly through her own story.

[Sydney · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a book! Devoured it in 24h. Important note - author is extremely liberal and there are many mentions of unorthodox views in the book. I skipped over those bits and still got a lot out of it. She is a gifted writer and extremely vulnerable throughout.

I appreciated her research and footnotes.

we need more Christian resources on sobriety - I recommend the Freedom that Lasts ministry.

[Cara Meredith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now THIS is the book I’ve been looking for when it comes to embracing a healthier relationship with alcohol.

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a compassionate guide for the sober curious and those discerning what role alcohol plays in one’s life. A delight to read and savor slowly!

[Jonathan Cureton · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I become a tea totaler, it will be thanks to three people: Mr. Rogers, Erin Jean Warde, and my mother, in that order.

[Kate Mumey · Rating 5 out of 5]

ERIN !! JEAN !! WARDE !! I love you and this book so much.

[Jinessa]

Recommendation regardless of religious affiliation.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fabulous book that shows how spirituality can help one enter a more mindful relationship with alcohol and how a more mindful relationship with alcohol can help one enter stronger spirituality.

[Laura Tuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part looking at alcohol culture. Part mindfulness of how and why you drink. Part sobriety.

[Erin Moon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a kind and openhearted look at sobriety. Non-judgemental and expansive. I loved it!