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Not He or She, I'm Me
In this bright and joyous picture book readers follow a day in the life of a young gender non-binary child.
A child gets ready for a wonderful day. They gleefully get dressed, hug their parents, go to school, and play with friends. All the while, unapologetically reminding themselves that they are and can only be themselves.
The non-binary experience is brightly illustrated as we follow our main character through their typical day. The story's bouncy and fun refrain reminds all readers of gender neutral pronouns and affirms the identities of non-binary children—encouraging readers to practice empathy for themselves and others.
A child gets ready for a wonderful day. They gleefully get dressed, hug their parents, go to school, and play with friends. All the while, unapologetically reminding themselves that they are and can only be themselves.
The non-binary experience is brightly illustrated as we follow our main character through their typical day. The story's bouncy and fun refrain reminds all readers of gender neutral pronouns and affirms the identities of non-binary children—encouraging readers to practice empathy for themselves and others.
32 pages, Hardcover
Published October 17, 2023
109 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
February 2, 2024
Nice nonbinary rep in this picture book with lots of bright, colorful illustrations. The story is quite simple and the text not very poetic, but the representation is nice to see.
March 29, 2024
SO colorful! I can't help but think of Gwen in Across the Spider-Verse, with all the vibrant displays of color representing who she is, how she feels, etc. Queer kids books are so beautiful to see, and so far and few between! It is important work to make sure all kids can find a sense of belonging among books.
November 10, 2023
Lovely! A sweet and simple journey through one non-binary child's day.
Themes: Be Yourself, Gender Identity
Age range: Toddler-Kindergarten
Themes: Be Yourself, Gender Identity
Age range: Toddler-Kindergarten
November 25, 2023
There are no content warnings I find necessary for this book.
This is another fun children's book with positive trans representation, but there's really not much substance to make it memorable. We have a nameless nonbinary protagonist who gets ready for school, eats breakfast with their parent, makes a new friend at school, and rides bikes with them. There are two repeated phrases throughout the book: "not her, not him, I'm them" and "not he or she, I'm me". It's sweet, and I suppose it delivers the promise from the blurb and "reminds all readers of gender neutral pronouns", but it doesn't do much more. We get a happy nonbinary kid, but we only see the pronoun them in action, ignoring they/theirs/themself, and there's not an impactful story to go with it- just a vague day in the child's life. The book doesn't do anything bad, it just doesn't do anything substantial enough to make it feel like a complete product.
Summary:
Readability: ★★★★☆, It's an easy enough read, and has repeated phrases with not many words on a page. It would be fine to read out loud, but it doesn't have any sound devices utilized.
Entertainment: ★★★☆☆, Story is a 3, art is an easy 5. Kah Yangni's style is so vibrant, playful, and comforting- they really make an amazing visual home for a children's book. It's what makes the book worth a look, it brought together such classic elements of collage that it took me back to some of my personal favorite books as a kid.
Audience: It's upbeat representation, but doesn't offer much else. It would work as an icebreaker, especially for younger readers. Check it out if you are interested.
This is another fun children's book with positive trans representation, but there's really not much substance to make it memorable. We have a nameless nonbinary protagonist who gets ready for school, eats breakfast with their parent, makes a new friend at school, and rides bikes with them. There are two repeated phrases throughout the book: "not her, not him, I'm them" and "not he or she, I'm me". It's sweet, and I suppose it delivers the promise from the blurb and "reminds all readers of gender neutral pronouns", but it doesn't do much more. We get a happy nonbinary kid, but we only see the pronoun them in action, ignoring they/theirs/themself, and there's not an impactful story to go with it- just a vague day in the child's life. The book doesn't do anything bad, it just doesn't do anything substantial enough to make it feel like a complete product.
Summary:
Readability: ★★★★☆, It's an easy enough read, and has repeated phrases with not many words on a page. It would be fine to read out loud, but it doesn't have any sound devices utilized.
Entertainment: ★★★☆☆, Story is a 3, art is an easy 5. Kah Yangni's style is so vibrant, playful, and comforting- they really make an amazing visual home for a children's book. It's what makes the book worth a look, it brought together such classic elements of collage that it took me back to some of my personal favorite books as a kid.
Audience: It's upbeat representation, but doesn't offer much else. It would work as an icebreaker, especially for younger readers. Check it out if you are interested.
March 1, 2024
Spencer rated this book 3.5 stars.
May 14, 2025
Big bold pictures and small short sentences makes this book an easy read for Storytime. Features an NB character which is quite rare to find in a picture book.
December 1, 2024
How do you view yourself? How do you refer to yourself? Think about these questions more deeply as you read the picture book, “Not He or She, I’m Me”, written by A. M. Wild. Both the author and illustrator are nonbinary and use they/them pronouns, which is also the theme of this book. The main character does not identify with either he or she and just focuses on themselves in their journey. This book mainly focuses on illustrations and pronouns and does not have much of a plot. Through vivid imagery and a short amount of text, this book brings awareness to nonbinary people and the queer experience.
October 21, 2024
I liked the illustrations quite a bit, but was expecting more explanation into why people use they/them pronouns. To me, it felt abrupt to go right from “Good morning” to “Not he or she, I’m me.”
This is a sweet and quaint (yet also vibrantly depicted) story about the course of a child’s day, getting ready, going to school, and making new friends. I did also appreciate the “them even when alone” page — how it showed that while gender has to do with how others refer to us, it has as much (if not more) to do with how we think of and refer to ourselves.
This is a sweet and quaint (yet also vibrantly depicted) story about the course of a child’s day, getting ready, going to school, and making new friends. I did also appreciate the “them even when alone” page — how it showed that while gender has to do with how others refer to us, it has as much (if not more) to do with how we think of and refer to ourselves.
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June 10, 2024This made me cry! It means the world to me that there are kids out there that could get this articulated for them at a young age. The title articulates EXACTLY how I identify :)
PS: the other kids being named Pax, Rae, and Kai WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN. AND A NEW YORKER TOTE BAG. Curse these millennial gays.
PS: the other kids being named Pax, Rae, and Kai WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN. AND A NEW YORKER TOTE BAG. Curse these millennial gays.
February 21, 2024
Static illustrations and irregular, clumsy rhyming try to convey the thought that no matter what a child may be doing during the day, their gender-identity remains what they choose it to be and it doesn't affect anything around them.
Good point, poorly executed.
Good point, poorly executed.
February 14, 2024
2024 Stonewall Honor Book for Children’s Literature:
-“Not He or She, I’m Me,” written by A. M. Wild follows the happy, exuberant day of a gender non- binary child asserting their existence as “Not be or she, I’m me” from waking in the morning to going to bed at night. Kah Yangni’s bright, cheerful illustrations show the child washing and getting dressed for the day, eating breakfast, hugging their mom goodbye as they catch the bus and laugh and sing all the way to school. Once there, through all the activities, “not her, not him, I’m them.” Playing outside with friends until dusk sends them all homeward. “Them with my friends and them at home, them even when alone.”
“Snug in my bed, stars overhead, not he or she . . . Just me.”
Both the author and the illustrator joyously affirm the rightness of being just who you are, whomever that may be. The non-binary character teaches us the gender- neutral pronouns as we accept and encourage everyone one to accept and encourage themselves and others.
-“Not He or She, I’m Me,” written by A. M. Wild follows the happy, exuberant day of a gender non- binary child asserting their existence as “Not be or she, I’m me” from waking in the morning to going to bed at night. Kah Yangni’s bright, cheerful illustrations show the child washing and getting dressed for the day, eating breakfast, hugging their mom goodbye as they catch the bus and laugh and sing all the way to school. Once there, through all the activities, “not her, not him, I’m them.” Playing outside with friends until dusk sends them all homeward. “Them with my friends and them at home, them even when alone.”
“Snug in my bed, stars overhead, not he or she . . . Just me.”
Both the author and the illustrator joyously affirm the rightness of being just who you are, whomever that may be. The non-binary character teaches us the gender- neutral pronouns as we accept and encourage everyone one to accept and encourage themselves and others.
October 16, 2024
This lavishly illustrated book follows a nonbinary child through an average school day. The pages teem with vibrant, joyful life thanks to the illustrator's brilliant work. I see a lot of other reviews mentioning the ordinary and mundane nature of the plot, implying that it took away from the experience for them. I have to disagree. As a nonbinary person, the simplicity and normality of the story is what makes this such an important read for people of any age. It's relatable from start to finish, no matter how you identify. It highlights how similar everyone is regardless of things like gender identity. The main character's life and day are normal, as are their gender and pronouns.
I think this story will be very affirming for those who see themselves reflected in the protagonist and—for those who don't—it should help them understand or reinforce the idea that people of different gender identities are just like them. There's nothing abnormal or wrong with them, that's just who they are and that's beautiful.
I think this story will be very affirming for those who see themselves reflected in the protagonist and—for those who don't—it should help them understand or reinforce the idea that people of different gender identities are just like them. There's nothing abnormal or wrong with them, that's just who they are and that's beautiful.
December 19, 2023
This simple story comes with a collage of styles and colors in the artwork. This book is not about complex topics or enumerating various gender expressions, rather it is just a reminder that some people use they/them pronouns - and that is ok. Nonbinary kids are still kids, just like their peers.
Short and straightforward, this book is perhaps best summarized by a page toward the end: "Them with my friends and them at home, them even when alone."
While there is a lot of hate in the world for trans and nonbinary people, one positive of them being in the spotlight is that we can have more books like this that teach children that there are different ways to be, and that is ok.
The reason I rated it four instead of five is because, while this works as a basic "they/them pronouns exist" book, I would have liked a bit more substance.
Short and straightforward, this book is perhaps best summarized by a page toward the end: "Them with my friends and them at home, them even when alone."
While there is a lot of hate in the world for trans and nonbinary people, one positive of them being in the spotlight is that we can have more books like this that teach children that there are different ways to be, and that is ok.
The reason I rated it four instead of five is because, while this works as a basic "they/them pronouns exist" book, I would have liked a bit more substance.
July 19, 2025
This colourful picture book follows a non-binary kid through a typical day. They get up, eat breakfast, go to school, hang out with friends - always being themselves and followed by the refrain "Not he, or she, I'm me!" or various extrapolations of it. A very positive, cheerful book showing that difference is still, in many ways, the same. Non-binary kids enjoy the same activities and follow the same routines as other kids. In this case, the main character is non-binary, but the message and refrain could just as easily apply to a kid who's colour or culture varies from their peers, or a kid with disability, a first nations kids, any kid really, because, at the end of the day, being oneself is a pretty important thing to be, and any encouragement or support we can give kids to be themselves is worthwhile and valuable in my book.
May 13, 2024
A child gets ready for a wonderful day. They gleefully get dressed, hug their parents, go to school, and play with friends. All the while, unapologetically reminding themselves that they are and can only be themselves. The non-binary experience is brightly illustrated as we follow our main character through their typical day. The story's bouncy and fun refrain reminds all readers of gender neutral pronouns and affirms the identities of non-binary children―encouraging readers to practice empathy for themselves and others. The intended audience is 3-6 years and K-2nd grade. I selected this book because it will teach students that they can be who they are and they don't neccessairly don't have to go by their pronouns. If they prefer something else they could go by that.
February 2, 2024
A nonbinary child goes through their day, doing all the things children do, and reminding the reader that they aren't defined by a pronoun. They are them, or just me.
There was a disconnect for me which made the book difficult to read. I thought it would rhyme, it's written in lines that look like meter. Sometimes it rhymes other times it doesn't. An actual story was non-existent; the non-binary kid has friends and a loving parent but it didn't really do anything for me. The illustrations were ok. The main character and their mom are illustrated with brown skin.
Cross posted to http://kissthebookjr.blogspot.com
There was a disconnect for me which made the book difficult to read. I thought it would rhyme, it's written in lines that look like meter. Sometimes it rhymes other times it doesn't. An actual story was non-existent; the non-binary kid has friends and a loving parent but it didn't really do anything for me. The illustrations were ok. The main character and their mom are illustrated with brown skin.
Cross posted to http://kissthebookjr.blogspot.com
February 28, 2025
Materials for Children Reading Project
Age Range:
3 to 6
Evaluation - Literary Elements & Artistic Merit:
This book has great nonbinary representation and is filled with rainbow-colored mixed media illustrations, but the storyline is underwhelming. It just shows a child going through their day while repeating various iterations of "not he or she, I'm me". There are probably better books out there with nonbinary representation AND a strong narrative.
Assessment - Potential Use:
This would be a good read-aloud book in an informal setting.
Assessment - Appeal:
The main appeal of this book for children is the beautifully done illustrations.
Age Range:
3 to 6
Evaluation - Literary Elements & Artistic Merit:
This book has great nonbinary representation and is filled with rainbow-colored mixed media illustrations, but the storyline is underwhelming. It just shows a child going through their day while repeating various iterations of "not he or she, I'm me". There are probably better books out there with nonbinary representation AND a strong narrative.
Assessment - Potential Use:
This would be a good read-aloud book in an informal setting.
Assessment - Appeal:
The main appeal of this book for children is the beautifully done illustrations.
October 26, 2025
Not He or She, I'm Me follows a nonbinary child as they guide readers through a typical day—brushing teeth, picking out an outfit, combing their hair, and eating breakfast—while continually affirming that they are their own unique self. The book beautifully emphasizes the importance of embracing one’s identity and celebrating who you are. With its joyful illustrations and affirming text, this LGBTQ+ story provides young readers with a gentle, age-appropriate introduction to nonbinary identities. I would add this book to a kindergarten classroom library to help support students who are still exploring and understanding their own sense of self.
December 2, 2023
Not He or She, I’m Me by A.M. Wild and Kah Yangni is a joyous celebration of a nonbinary child being themselves and sharing the pronouns they use. Kah Yangni’s boisterous and childlike illustrations carry readers along as we follow the child through their day from morning until bedtime. We see them doing all the things kids do: choosing their clothes, going to school, and making new friends. They have a wonderful day being accepted for who they, are as all children should be. I highly recommend.
December 30, 2023
For more bookish opinions, visit my blog: Craft-Cycle
A cute picture book following a child's typical day - eating breakfast, going to school, and hanging out with friends. Throughout, there is a catchy refrain, affirming the child's nonbinary identity and celebrating they/them pronouns.
Simple and nice. The artwork is sweet with fun collage-style visuals and a mix of color and patterns.
Love seeing more nonbinary characters in picture books and nonbinary characters of color.
A cute picture book following a child's typical day - eating breakfast, going to school, and hanging out with friends. Throughout, there is a catchy refrain, affirming the child's nonbinary identity and celebrating they/them pronouns.
Simple and nice. The artwork is sweet with fun collage-style visuals and a mix of color and patterns.
Love seeing more nonbinary characters in picture books and nonbinary characters of color.
October 27, 2024
Copyright Date: 2023
Award: Stonewall
I think this book is a great way to show that not all queer people are constantly experiencing hate. This book shows a non-binary child that has friends and family who all affirm their identity. The child is experiencing joy in the entire book. Seeing queer people constantly joyful and being affirmed throughout a book is often rare in queer literature and stories, so I think this book is really important in showing that being queer doesn't have to mean experiencing hate all of the time. This book could be a great introduction to non-binary people.
Award: Stonewall
I think this book is a great way to show that not all queer people are constantly experiencing hate. This book shows a non-binary child that has friends and family who all affirm their identity. The child is experiencing joy in the entire book. Seeing queer people constantly joyful and being affirmed throughout a book is often rare in queer literature and stories, so I think this book is really important in showing that being queer doesn't have to mean experiencing hate all of the time. This book could be a great introduction to non-binary people.
January 25, 2024
Stonewall Book Awards - Mike Morgan & Larry Romans Children’s & Young Adult Literature Honor Book 2024
This is a delightful book about a child going throughout their day, from waking up in the morning to going to bed that night. It's a beautiful tribute to the lives of children, and the focus is on showing that this child, who uses they/them pronouns, is just "me" more than anything else. It's a joyful expression of this child's self-confidence and worth.
This is a delightful book about a child going throughout their day, from waking up in the morning to going to bed that night. It's a beautiful tribute to the lives of children, and the focus is on showing that this child, who uses they/them pronouns, is just "me" more than anything else. It's a joyful expression of this child's self-confidence and worth.
March 13, 2024
When I read the synopsis, oh this is about non-binary from a child's perspective cause yaa......this is a children's book.
There are only 17 pages with repeated words "not he or she. I'm me" which explains the activities of one child preparing for school. That's it, that's all. Because I'm unfamiliar with this gender, I'm confused, what does this mean?
The illustration is also not my cup of tea.
There are only 17 pages with repeated words "not he or she. I'm me" which explains the activities of one child preparing for school. That's it, that's all. Because I'm unfamiliar with this gender, I'm confused, what does this mean?
The illustration is also not my cup of tea.
February 10, 2024
3 stars (I liked it)
It's that time of year where all the ALA Youth Media winners and honors I put on hold came in at the library...
This was a Stonewall award honor book. I appreciate it so much for the representation and the joy within the book. I think that actual plot and text leave something to be desired. Still a great celebration of being yourself!
It's that time of year where all the ALA Youth Media winners and honors I put on hold came in at the library...
This was a Stonewall award honor book. I appreciate it so much for the representation and the joy within the book. I think that actual plot and text leave something to be desired. Still a great celebration of being yourself!
February 23, 2024
The death of Nex Benedict and the circumstances of what happed before this tragic event made me pick up this book at the library. To be truthful I think that there is still much for me to learn about the nonbinary community; I will continue to try to learn more because I think that we all need to try to understand each other if America is going to last another 50 years.
March 5, 2024
Age: Preschool-1st grade
LGBTQ: Nonbinary them
Joyful and intricate collage illustrations accompany the celebration of a nonbinary school-aged child. With short, rhyming sentences and positive energy (without a negative side story), this would make an excellent book to introduce and/or support nonbinary children.
LGBTQ: Nonbinary them
Joyful and intricate collage illustrations accompany the celebration of a nonbinary school-aged child. With short, rhyming sentences and positive energy (without a negative side story), this would make an excellent book to introduce and/or support nonbinary children.
December 7, 2023
A picture book day in the life of a nonbinary kid. Throughout the text, the titular affirmation is repeated in a way that is affirming and humanizing. The illustrations are very colorful and vibrant. Joyful and inclusive.
January 10, 2024
I like the mixed-media art, though the facial illustration style isn't my favorite. I found it a bit repetitive as an adult, but I'm sure kids won't mind at all. I am always happy to see a book with a diversity of genders and skin colors, etc.
April 9, 2024
This book is intended for Pre-K- 2nd grade. It shows themes of self discovery and embracing ones self. I would choose this for my library for my future students because it introduces the concept of being non-binary in a simple way that children are able to understand.
November 26, 2024
This book tells the charming story of a child going through their day without using pronouns. It's a cute and engaging read that can be used in classrooms for children ages 3 to 6. It also serves as a wonderful book to encourage self-expression and individuality.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews