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The Night Is Normal: A Guide through Spiritual Pain
It’s unnerving, isn’t it? When our faith feels ungrounded, untethered . . . unreal. When our certainty is adrift, as though an undercurrent has pulled us away from shore into the deep, into the darkness.
This is disillusionment.
This is spiritual pain.
This is losing hope.
And if this is you―if you’re in a dark night of the soul―please know that you are not alone. (And you are not as far away from safety as you may feel or fear.) Though faith shines best in full sun, it grows depth in the dark.
The night is not your enemy.
In fact, the night is necessary.
In The Night Is Normal , revered author, speaker, and mentor Dr. Alicia Britt Chole offers a groundbreaking perspective that reveals spiritual disillusionment as an unexpected friend. Within these sacred pages, you’ll explore
Our reality is broken, but God has not changed. Whether you’re disillusioned with God, yourself, or others, Alicia offers practical and soul-full tools to help you navigate the night and find your way to a livable and love-saturated hope.
Your night will not last forever.
Within it, there is priceless treasure
that’s simply too weighty to be sourced in sunshine.
This is disillusionment.
This is spiritual pain.
This is losing hope.
And if this is you―if you’re in a dark night of the soul―please know that you are not alone. (And you are not as far away from safety as you may feel or fear.) Though faith shines best in full sun, it grows depth in the dark.
The night is not your enemy.
In fact, the night is necessary.
In The Night Is Normal , revered author, speaker, and mentor Dr. Alicia Britt Chole offers a groundbreaking perspective that reveals spiritual disillusionment as an unexpected friend. Within these sacred pages, you’ll explore
Our reality is broken, but God has not changed. Whether you’re disillusioned with God, yourself, or others, Alicia offers practical and soul-full tools to help you navigate the night and find your way to a livable and love-saturated hope.
Your night will not last forever.
Within it, there is priceless treasure
that’s simply too weighty to be sourced in sunshine.
320 pages, Paperback
Published July 18, 2023
248 people are currently reading
1592 people want to read
About the author
Alicia Britt Chole
16 books211 followersWhether in person or in print, Alicia's voice carries an invitation to walk with God anew. A former atheist, her love for God and His Word overflows to bring ancient truth to life.
Often described as a captivating communicator, Alicia speaks, writes, mentors, and serves as the founding director of Leadership Investment Intensives, Inc, a non-profit devoted to providing personal soul-care to leaders in the marketplace and church. Her book, Anonymous: Jesus' Hidden Years and Yours, is highly regarded by leaders and learners around the globe.
Alicia holds a B.A. in Plan II/Pre-Law (University of Texas, Austin), an M.A. in TESOL (University of Texas, Austin) and a DMin in Leadership and Spiritual Formation (George Fox Evangelical Seminary). Alicia and her husband of 25 years joyfully parent their three extraordinary children in a country home off of a dirt road surrounded by loads of laundry, laughter, and love.
To learn more about Alicia, visit her website at www.aliciachole.com or on twitter @aliciachole.
Favorite Quotes:
Oswald Chambers: 'My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.'
A.W. Tozer: 'The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him.'
Henri Nouwen: 'Did growing older bring me closer to Jesus?'
Brother Lawrence: 'Always rejoice at being able to do little things for the love of God.'
Basilea Schlink: 'Jesus and the penitent sinner belong together.'
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
August 10, 2025
wow wow wow! Almost didn’t read this bc I’m not going through spiritual pain, but this is about SO much more than specific hard seasons. I’ve never heard anyone talk about disillusionments so well and so in depth, it felt like she was speaking specifically to how my brain works. This book has blessed me tremendously - I can’t wait to read it again!
March 17, 2024
The blurb for this book made it sound like it is meant for people who are in a crisis of faith, so I initially thought this wasn’t gonna be for me. My faith is fine, thank God. But I’m so grateful I read this book anyways, because it is about so much more! It addresses any and all variations of a lengthy hard season you could possibly think of. Seasons that can feel dark as the night.
Many Christians misinterpret the “night” as a thing to avoid or claim/declare/manifest your way out of. Many don’t see it as more than an obstacle to overcome “by faith”. But in doing so, they miss out on the gold that can be found only there. Of course no one is telling anyone to stay put and accept the darkness as a destination…but while you’re in it…don’t miss God in the midst of it.
The error of misinterpreting the night (like Job’s friends did and many since) has been damaging to individuals and the church. Following God is not always a smooth ride. God doesn’t promise hard times won’t come. He instead promises to be with us in the hard times. He is our light in the dark night. And our hope should be placed fully in Him. We can hope for healing, deliverance, etc. but we must not misplace our hope *in* those things instead of God.
This book talks a lot about disillusionment, because often in these night seasons disillusionment hits. Whether in marriage, church, work, our walk with God or other situations. Alicia Britt Chole does a wonderful job of showing that disillusionment is a good thing. Dis-illusion = the illusion is taken away. It is “the painful gaining of reality”. It brings us to the truth and begs us to answer the question: “Will we trust God, even if we don’t understand God?” Is His companionship enough for you even in the night?
Chole also shows that throughout history people did a much better job of dealing with the night than our current culture does. We want to avoid the darkness, but it still exists. No wonder many of us get lost when it hits our life. We have not learned to embrace it and find God in it.
As Chole puts it: “The night is filled with holy invitations to grow our love for God. A disconnect between the night and growth, nearness and love has spiritually shipwrecked many souls.”
I’ve been in a “night” season health-wise and church-wise. It refines and purifies your beliefs. Unimportant stuff and cultural nonsense just falls away when you can do nothing but cling to God for dear life. It’s hard, but it is so worth it if it means refinement.
Reading this book, I felt my heart fill with gratitude, because I recognized myself and my views in this book and Chole’s exegesis. Most churches drop the ball when it comes to walking people through the dark night. This book picked up the slack a bit. For me it was a much needed validation that reminded me (backed up by Scripture) that the night is in fact normal, as the title boasts. And if it doesn’t go away quickly, you can still be ok.
Chole speaks not only from Scripture, but also experience. She has had cancer several times and has had other night seasons too. And yet this is an incredibly hopeful book! As it should be! People that go through night seasons and manage to keep walking with God often have seen a lot more of His light than others have. Those are the people we should be learning from!
I wish everyone would read this book. Even though it does not set out to summarize the gospel, it kind of does in explaining that God is with us. Plus it gives you room to breathe if you are in a night season. You’re understood. And even if you’re doing great, this book will give you insight into how you can support and encourage those who are going through the darkness.
Many Christians misinterpret the “night” as a thing to avoid or claim/declare/manifest your way out of. Many don’t see it as more than an obstacle to overcome “by faith”. But in doing so, they miss out on the gold that can be found only there. Of course no one is telling anyone to stay put and accept the darkness as a destination…but while you’re in it…don’t miss God in the midst of it.
The error of misinterpreting the night (like Job’s friends did and many since) has been damaging to individuals and the church. Following God is not always a smooth ride. God doesn’t promise hard times won’t come. He instead promises to be with us in the hard times. He is our light in the dark night. And our hope should be placed fully in Him. We can hope for healing, deliverance, etc. but we must not misplace our hope *in* those things instead of God.
This book talks a lot about disillusionment, because often in these night seasons disillusionment hits. Whether in marriage, church, work, our walk with God or other situations. Alicia Britt Chole does a wonderful job of showing that disillusionment is a good thing. Dis-illusion = the illusion is taken away. It is “the painful gaining of reality”. It brings us to the truth and begs us to answer the question: “Will we trust God, even if we don’t understand God?” Is His companionship enough for you even in the night?
Chole also shows that throughout history people did a much better job of dealing with the night than our current culture does. We want to avoid the darkness, but it still exists. No wonder many of us get lost when it hits our life. We have not learned to embrace it and find God in it.
As Chole puts it: “The night is filled with holy invitations to grow our love for God. A disconnect between the night and growth, nearness and love has spiritually shipwrecked many souls.”
I’ve been in a “night” season health-wise and church-wise. It refines and purifies your beliefs. Unimportant stuff and cultural nonsense just falls away when you can do nothing but cling to God for dear life. It’s hard, but it is so worth it if it means refinement.
Reading this book, I felt my heart fill with gratitude, because I recognized myself and my views in this book and Chole’s exegesis. Most churches drop the ball when it comes to walking people through the dark night. This book picked up the slack a bit. For me it was a much needed validation that reminded me (backed up by Scripture) that the night is in fact normal, as the title boasts. And if it doesn’t go away quickly, you can still be ok.
Chole speaks not only from Scripture, but also experience. She has had cancer several times and has had other night seasons too. And yet this is an incredibly hopeful book! As it should be! People that go through night seasons and manage to keep walking with God often have seen a lot more of His light than others have. Those are the people we should be learning from!
I wish everyone would read this book. Even though it does not set out to summarize the gospel, it kind of does in explaining that God is with us. Plus it gives you room to breathe if you are in a night season. You’re understood. And even if you’re doing great, this book will give you insight into how you can support and encourage those who are going through the darkness.
January 30, 2025
“But what if spiritual nights are also essential? What if avoiding the night is sabotaging the health of our souls? What if there is something we need in the night that cannot be found in the day?”
I cannot recommend this enough, whether you’re in the night or not.
I cannot recommend this enough, whether you’re in the night or not.
August 25, 2024
De inhoud van dit boek is echt heel goed en nuttig! Het geeft inzicht in hoe je kan omgaan met disillusionment (ontgoocheling in het Nederlands?) in God, jezelf of anderen. Vooral als je in een moeilijke periode zit in je leven, zal dit boek heel waardevol voor je zijn. Het geeft je nieuw perspectief op deze moeilijkheden en tools om hier mee om te gaan.
Zelf vind ik wel dat het boek vrij complex is geschreven, hoewel ik denk dat dat ook erg te maken heeft met de lastige materie van het boek. Hoewel ik een groot Engels vocabulaire heb, vond ik de manier van schrijven complex, wat het niet een boek maakt die je zo eventjes uit leest. Het was best een worsteling om er doorheen te komen, maar dat was het wel waard.
Ik geef het boek 3,5 ster, afgerond naar 3⭐️
Zelf vind ik wel dat het boek vrij complex is geschreven, hoewel ik denk dat dat ook erg te maken heeft met de lastige materie van het boek. Hoewel ik een groot Engels vocabulaire heb, vond ik de manier van schrijven complex, wat het niet een boek maakt die je zo eventjes uit leest. Het was best een worsteling om er doorheen te komen, maar dat was het wel waard.
Ik geef het boek 3,5 ster, afgerond naar 3⭐️
September 6, 2023
I first learned about this author on Moody Radio's In the Market with Janet Parshall, and then I listened to the audiobook read by the author. She opens the book with a story and analogy that deeply impacted me...Growing up she and her father would sit on the porch and watch night storms (safely), and she came to learn that night storms are an invitation to spend time with her father...In the same way, the night storms in our spiritual lives are an invitation to grow in intimacy with our Heavenly Father. She explains pain, suffering, loss, trials, disillusionment, and disappointments from a biblical perspective.
January 1, 2024
Alicia has good thoughts, good advice, good logic, etc. I would recommend for those experiencing dissapointment in an acute situation, an interruption in an otherwise successful Christianity who conflate feeling Jesus with following Him and in need of a new way. Alicia does good with helping shift potential prosperity worldviews.
I found her writing, though sound in problem solving, cold throughout. I wouldn't recommend for those in more chronic cases, such as those intersecting with depression.
I found her writing, though sound in problem solving, cold throughout. I wouldn't recommend for those in more chronic cases, such as those intersecting with depression.
January 6, 2024
Wow.
This was such an incredible book on spiritual pain and navigating the dark moments in life. I am a woman of faith, and I believe that the Lord has a good plan for me, and that my prayers are heard and answered. Sometimes they aren’t always answered in the same way I had hoped though. When this happens, there aren’t a lot of answers as to how to navigate that?
This book!!! If that’s you..RUN, don’t walk, to read this book. ♥️🙌🏻
This was such an incredible book on spiritual pain and navigating the dark moments in life. I am a woman of faith, and I believe that the Lord has a good plan for me, and that my prayers are heard and answered. Sometimes they aren’t always answered in the same way I had hoped though. When this happens, there aren’t a lot of answers as to how to navigate that?
This book!!! If that’s you..RUN, don’t walk, to read this book. ♥️🙌🏻
October 14, 2023
I love Alicia & her writing style so much. Her books are ones I’m always going back to, this book now included. This book is basically a commentary on the experience of disillusionment as a Christian- when we are disappointed and realize reality is different than we thought. Disillusionment with God, ourselves, and other Christians, and where to find God in all of it.
“Will we trust God even when we do not understand God?
Are we willing to go without answers in order to go deeper into love?
Or will we label disillusionment as a no-man’s land and bail?
When faith does not make sense, God is purging the believer and inviting them into deeper fellowship with him. This process summons us to surrender self. We resist, in part, because we are rather attached to self and it’s illusions. So, in His mercy and through each night, God invites us further into reality.
He is bigger.
He is better.
He created us to be with Him.
And his companionship is enough, even in the night.”
“Will we trust God even when we do not understand God?
Are we willing to go without answers in order to go deeper into love?
Or will we label disillusionment as a no-man’s land and bail?
When faith does not make sense, God is purging the believer and inviting them into deeper fellowship with him. This process summons us to surrender self. We resist, in part, because we are rather attached to self and it’s illusions. So, in His mercy and through each night, God invites us further into reality.
He is bigger.
He is better.
He created us to be with Him.
And his companionship is enough, even in the night.”
January 25, 2024
I've always wondered about the mystery of finding books just when you need them. I came across the Night Is Normal in 2023 through a social media post of one of my favorite humans, Brooke Ligertwood. Three months later, I was never the same again.
The Night Is Normal is a gem for those going through spiritual and relational pain. It has met me where I was. Together with God, this book was the perfect company during my nights in the year of my disillusionment. And I bet it will accompany me for the rest of my life.
The Night Is Normal is a gem for those going through spiritual and relational pain. It has met me where I was. Together with God, this book was the perfect company during my nights in the year of my disillusionment. And I bet it will accompany me for the rest of my life.
July 17, 2025
Probably one of the most helpful resources I’ve read on spiritual pain.
Some favorite quotes:
I am not sure I hope, but I persist in the face of despair.
Keep loving because I do.
God is the ultimate realist; He is no stranger to pain.
Faith is not threatened by funerals.
My children have asked if Jesus is still experiencing pain today. I tend to think that He is.
The real fight on this earth isn’t for health, it’s for love.
Committing to God in the midst of that pain will require us to value His presence more than our qualifiable progress.
Theologically, growing should not be shaming.
God’s mercy is stronger than His truth.
Of course is it not just. How can it be? This is not heaven.
Will you fellowship with Me in My suffering?
His breath would sustain my faith even when my mind could not and my emotions would not.
Faith in God is a terrific venture in the dark.
Some favorite quotes:
I am not sure I hope, but I persist in the face of despair.
Keep loving because I do.
God is the ultimate realist; He is no stranger to pain.
Faith is not threatened by funerals.
My children have asked if Jesus is still experiencing pain today. I tend to think that He is.
The real fight on this earth isn’t for health, it’s for love.
Committing to God in the midst of that pain will require us to value His presence more than our qualifiable progress.
Theologically, growing should not be shaming.
God’s mercy is stronger than His truth.
Of course is it not just. How can it be? This is not heaven.
Will you fellowship with Me in My suffering?
His breath would sustain my faith even when my mind could not and my emotions would not.
Faith in God is a terrific venture in the dark.
November 6, 2024
This was the second book I’ve read from Alicia Britt Chole after I raved about “anonymous,” and I loved this one even more! She offers such a helpful perspective on less than talked about topics such as spiritual disappointment, disillusionment with God, self and others, and how they differ from sadness or grief. I love the biblical stories she brought in and her secondary view on them that differed from how I’ve previously seen them. She is wise and her books reflect that. I suppose I most especially loved it because it reflects exactly the season I find myself in, but since everyone will find themselves in a dark season at some point I highly recommend it.
June 2, 2025
Excellent, excellent book. Everyone feels spiritual pain in one form or another (or many forms) in their life. Alicia walks the reader through how to handle disillusionment (what she defines as "the painful gaining of reality") in God, onesself and other believers. Walking through dark times is hard enough, but feeling guilt, shame, and confusion in the hard questions makes it even worse. Alicia lets the reader know it's healthy to see God, yourself and others in a more realistic light. To work through those questions rather than hide from them. I found this incredibly helpful and I highly recommend this to anyone.
5/5 stars
5/5 stars
October 20, 2025
Other than the Bible itself, there have been 2 other books I can look back at and see how instrumental they were in deepening my relationship with God. Now, I have a 3rd book. Living in a time where there is so much hate, division, and darkness in our world, I cannot recommend this book enough. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am barely starting to understand how James could say, “Count it all joy when you face trials of various kinds.”
September 14, 2024
This book is wonderful! It feels very poetic but also so deep and tangible!! Spiritual pain in these areas is not talked about enough. Definitely recommend!
September 4, 2025
A must read for anyone ever
Read
December 5, 2023I found the audio version of this for $2 so I decided to give it a shot. I will definitely be purchasing the physical copy for a re-read. This wasn't your run-of-the-mill spiritual self-help guru. I would recommend this to anyone who is struggling with doubt or dealing with spiritual hurt. Holding off on a rating until I can go back and really dive in with a physical read because there was so much to learn and unpack.
July 11, 2024
An insightful look into the various areas of disillusionment. Filled with practical advice, helpful analogies and an invitation to draw closer to God through our spiritual pain. Perhaps most importantly this book will help you to feel less alone and give you an understanding that the night is in fact normal.
February 9, 2025
Other than the Word of God itself, this may be one of the most impactful books on my thinking as I pursue following Jesus. For me, particularly section one was the most impressionable. This will be a work that I will reference again and again. The author writes from an academic and analytical point of view, and her writing and reasoning are not just based on emotions (though she talks about emotions and how they come into play in spiritual formation). This book is excellent.
August 30, 2025
What if the hard times of life (and faith) aren't a crisis, but a normal part of the cycle and nature of life? This book is refreshing as it addresses those seasons without fear or crisis, but with compassion and opportunities to learn. I enjoyed the balance of psychological and spiritual, real life examples and practical steps. I highlighted a lot and rewrote entire pages in my journal. Recommend!
December 13, 2025
Took a while to read this but finished it at a perfect time.
“ Following Jesus is the self sustaining core of commitment and the not so-cryptic key of spiritual growth through disillusionment. Every time you choose to follow Jesus in the night, your faith grows, and you build momentum to keep following Him in the days and decades to come.”
“ Following Jesus is the self sustaining core of commitment and the not so-cryptic key of spiritual growth through disillusionment. Every time you choose to follow Jesus in the night, your faith grows, and you build momentum to keep following Him in the days and decades to come.”
October 4, 2023
Great and very important read!
December 12, 2023
This book guided me through the “night!”🤍💕 I would recommend it to ANYONE who has gone through the struggle of understanding their faith during hardship!
Read
February 12, 2025Excellent!
February 27, 2025
I read this slowly and paused a few times but it was fantastic. I will no doubt refer back to this time and time again.
March 4, 2025
Really really really good. I love Alicia’s writing style and the way she tackles hard topics. Her faith is inspiring and I got so much out of this book.
October 4, 2025
This is so full of wisdom.
November 9, 2023
This is truly the best book I have ever read. I could not recommend it more. There is so so much to say about it but I will simply leave it at that!
April 29, 2024
I have too many thoughts to write a concise review. Great read, even if heavy at times. I imagine this book will be one I read and reference again.
September 12, 2025
Hands down the best book I’ve read this year, maybe ever.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews