I cannot claim to have read Nirmal Ji as extensively as Vineet Gill — the author of his literary biography — but I can claim to have loved and admired Nirmal Verma's writings just as deeply. Many years ago, when I was enchanted by Murakami's magical realism, I used to wonder what it would be like to get inside the writer's brain - to find a quiet corner and observe the pictures projected there: all the thoughts, ideas, and memories. I imagined it like a giant theatre, filled with colours, and glitter, and smoke, and stars.
Over the years, I began to find the same magic in the mundane - the everyday. That's when I read Nirmal Ji's 'Ek Chithda Sukh'. It transported me to the Delhi of 70s and 80s. It pulled me into a tight grip and wouldn't let go for days - even weeks - after I had finished reading it. Something about his writing spoke to me at a personal level. Krishna Sobti's quote in Vineet Gill's book explains this beautifully - "We begin to feel, for a delusive stretch of time, that we are him (Nirmal Verma), looking at the world as he saw it."
I agree. Each time I read a Nirmal Verma book, I begin to see the streets, the sky, the flowers, and the rain from his eyes. I begin to feel his sorrow, his melancholy. This is the kind of power his writing possesses. Gill says that Nirmal Ji's writing, at its core, is about the individual and her struggle with belonging, melancholy, and the innate loneliness of being human. Perhaps, that's why I am drawn to him. He is not trying to achieve a grand goal. He is not issuing polemics. His words do not exhaust me. Instead, they put me in a state of mental buoyancy.
Few months ago, a friend shared a social media post with me that dismissed Nirmal Verma as a writer for his alleged right wing leanings towards the end of his life. My initial reaction was defensive - I wanted to assert that the art and artist should be seen as separate. But deep down, I was troubled. Was the man I admired truly a fanatic?
Reading this book reminded me, again, that humans are complex, and they should be seen that way. A person is the amalgamation of his or her life, the billions of moments they live, decisions they make, thoughts they think, and words they speak. It is unfair and intellectually lazy to isolate one small part of them from the whole and present it as the absolute truth to serve your own bias.
This is all I have to say about Nirmal Verma. He was not a bigot. He was not a fundamentalist. He was a complex person, like all of us. He was a writer, yes - but he was also a reader, a critic, a traveller, a thinker, a feeler, a lover, and a man whose internal world was so vast and magical that it invariably spilled onto paper. He once said that his writing was his autobiography. I can say that reading this book has only intensified my desire to read everything he has written.