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Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink
A behind-the-scenes tour of the fabled tattoo industry on the arm of a swashbuckling insider and natural-born storyteller.
In the eighteen years he’s been a tattoo artist, Jeff Johnson has worked on everyone from nervous young coeds who turn green at the sight of his needle (chudders) to cocky would-be artists with fancy design degrees and weak constitutions (night hogs). As the proprietor of the legendary Sea Tramp Tattoo Company, he’s inked gangbangers, age-defying moms, and sociopaths; he’s defused brawls, tended delicate egos, learned to spot and avoid bunnies, and made it his mission to perpetrate ingenious and awful practical jokes on his fellow Trojans. He’s a true swamp He knows all the tricks of the trade and, more important, he knows how to keep his legendary shop in Portland, Oregon, from becoming the scene of a nightly bloodbath.
In Tattoo Machine , Johnson lifts the curtain on an art form that has undergone rebirth and illuminates a world where art, drama, and commerce come together in highly entertaining theater. A tattoo shop is no longer a den of social outcasts and degenerates–it’s a workshop where committed and schooled artists who paint on living canvases develop close bonds and bitter rivalries, where tattoo legends and innovators are equally revered, and where the potential for disaster lurks in every corner.
Discussing everything from his days as an apprentice to some of the greatest inkers in the trade to the incredibly vivid nightly spectacular over which he presides, Jeff Johnson has written a sometimes riotous, sometimes harrowing, and always riveting memoir about what it means to be on the front lines of a global art revolution.
In the eighteen years he’s been a tattoo artist, Jeff Johnson has worked on everyone from nervous young coeds who turn green at the sight of his needle (chudders) to cocky would-be artists with fancy design degrees and weak constitutions (night hogs). As the proprietor of the legendary Sea Tramp Tattoo Company, he’s inked gangbangers, age-defying moms, and sociopaths; he’s defused brawls, tended delicate egos, learned to spot and avoid bunnies, and made it his mission to perpetrate ingenious and awful practical jokes on his fellow Trojans. He’s a true swamp He knows all the tricks of the trade and, more important, he knows how to keep his legendary shop in Portland, Oregon, from becoming the scene of a nightly bloodbath.
In Tattoo Machine , Johnson lifts the curtain on an art form that has undergone rebirth and illuminates a world where art, drama, and commerce come together in highly entertaining theater. A tattoo shop is no longer a den of social outcasts and degenerates–it’s a workshop where committed and schooled artists who paint on living canvases develop close bonds and bitter rivalries, where tattoo legends and innovators are equally revered, and where the potential for disaster lurks in every corner.
Discussing everything from his days as an apprentice to some of the greatest inkers in the trade to the incredibly vivid nightly spectacular over which he presides, Jeff Johnson has written a sometimes riotous, sometimes harrowing, and always riveting memoir about what it means to be on the front lines of a global art revolution.
249 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2009
16 people are currently reading
302 people want to read
About the author
Jeff Johnson
9 books85 followersJeff Johnson is the author of Tattoo Machine, The Lucky Supreme Trilogy, Deadbomb Bingo Ray, I Shop At Laney's, and more. Visit him at greatpinkskeleton.com and on Instagram @jeffjohnsonarium.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 115 reviews
November 30, 2009
A fun, behind-the-scenes book about the tattoo industry by someone in the thick of it. Johnson shares some funny, gross, and outrageous anecdotes and random bits of wisdom. Unfortunately, his writing meanders and a cohesive narrative never emerges. I was intrigued by the small bits of Johnson's dysfunctional childhood that he shares (he could give Augusten Burroughs a run for his money AND he's a hell of a lot more likable), but it's clear he keeps a lot of emotional distance between himself and his writing. Too bad, as it seems he's led a painful, passionate life. I'd read that book.
September 17, 2009
I have been tattooed seven times. At none of those seven times did I stop and take a long look at my tattoo artist and ask myself "What is his average day like? What kinds of people does he meet? What crazy things does he see?" The next time I get a tattoo, I will be wondering. This book sure does show the interesting life behind the gun. I found it thoroughly entertaining, educational, and at times, downright funny.
Jeff tells readers about the tattoo world, the artists, what it takes to be an artist, what happens in a tattoo shop, and he even talks about the act itself, the inks, and the history. Surprisingly, it rarely bores like a lot of non fiction books tend to do. Jeff manages to tell us all this stuff without being dull about it. On the contrary, his style, his choice of words, and his witty remarks add entertainment to some of the most mundane details.
I LOVED the stories. I actually got creeped out goosebumps during the tale about the strange man with women's names and social security numbers on him. I laughed out loud when Jeff "doctors" a toilet in order to get rid of an unwanted employee. I smiled when Jeff talks about meeting his wife. There were so many stories that I liked, I cannot possibly address them all.
I certainly have a newfound respect for my tattoo artist. I never realized all the strange things they must deal with and some of the customers they get... whew!!! I am glad I am the one being tattooed and not the tattooer! Also, in this case, Jeff living in Oregon, he addresses the laws in that state and how they are affecting the tattooing industry. Lots of hurdles. One doesn't just buy some equipment and put up an OPEN sign and stick a needle in somebody.
The only thing keeping this from being a 5 star book is the narratings about mirror neurons (kind of lost me there) and Jeff talking about his drinking problem. It just didn't interest me.
Good book tho and I recommend it to anybody that has had a tattoo or is thinking of getting a tattoo. If I ever find myself in Portland, I will stop in Jeff's shop and get my eighth.
Jeff tells readers about the tattoo world, the artists, what it takes to be an artist, what happens in a tattoo shop, and he even talks about the act itself, the inks, and the history. Surprisingly, it rarely bores like a lot of non fiction books tend to do. Jeff manages to tell us all this stuff without being dull about it. On the contrary, his style, his choice of words, and his witty remarks add entertainment to some of the most mundane details.
I LOVED the stories. I actually got creeped out goosebumps during the tale about the strange man with women's names and social security numbers on him. I laughed out loud when Jeff "doctors" a toilet in order to get rid of an unwanted employee. I smiled when Jeff talks about meeting his wife. There were so many stories that I liked, I cannot possibly address them all.
I certainly have a newfound respect for my tattoo artist. I never realized all the strange things they must deal with and some of the customers they get... whew!!! I am glad I am the one being tattooed and not the tattooer! Also, in this case, Jeff living in Oregon, he addresses the laws in that state and how they are affecting the tattooing industry. Lots of hurdles. One doesn't just buy some equipment and put up an OPEN sign and stick a needle in somebody.
The only thing keeping this from being a 5 star book is the narratings about mirror neurons (kind of lost me there) and Jeff talking about his drinking problem. It just didn't interest me.
Good book tho and I recommend it to anybody that has had a tattoo or is thinking of getting a tattoo. If I ever find myself in Portland, I will stop in Jeff's shop and get my eighth.
March 16, 2021
This was a nice quick read. Great if you’re interested in tattoos, even better if you’re a tattooer
October 27, 2009
Johnson outlines every aspect of the tattoo industry, including the artistry, what it takes to run a tattoo store, and all of the colorful characters he’s encountered in his almost two decades of experience. This memoir also features snippets into Johnson’s personal story, growing up in a dysfunctional environment, to say the least, and his meeting and relationship with his wife. The bulk of his narrative, however, focuses on his adventures in tattooing.
This is a work of nonfiction, but I notice the title includes “tall tales.” I’m inclined to believe that many of his stories are peppered with some degree of exaggeration. Although life is usually stranger than fiction. He comes off as a tough talking, cocky, and sometimes vulgar individual who keenly savors Schadenfreude with a clear conscience.
This book definitely did not encourage me to get a tattoo, not that I have a burning desire anyway. For the most part, although I found some elements intriguing, Johnson’s writing style was bit over the top and the book less than engaging. His explicit language may be offensive to some readers.
This is a work of nonfiction, but I notice the title includes “tall tales.” I’m inclined to believe that many of his stories are peppered with some degree of exaggeration. Although life is usually stranger than fiction. He comes off as a tough talking, cocky, and sometimes vulgar individual who keenly savors Schadenfreude with a clear conscience.
This book definitely did not encourage me to get a tattoo, not that I have a burning desire anyway. For the most part, although I found some elements intriguing, Johnson’s writing style was bit over the top and the book less than engaging. His explicit language may be offensive to some readers.
January 26, 2010
Engrossing, informative, and always entertaining, this is the best introduction to the world of tattooing, though in all honesty I haven't read any other. Most tattoo related books are either about the art or the personality of the tattoo artist/celebrity, nothing close to what this is: one artist's memoirs of his breaking into and staying in the tattoo industry.
The author's talented with ink on skin as well as on the page: his writing is honest, reflective, and to me his style is akin to Chuck Palahniuk. The chapters are each little slices of his life, experiences that, taken as a whole, leaves you full but not stuffed, yet knowing that soon enough you'll want more. If he doesn't write any more about the tattoo culture I hope he inspires others to do so because it deserves more thoughtfully literate chroniclers like Jeff Johnson.
Full disclosure: I have a family member who is a tattoo artist (who gives this book a seal of approval) and I was happy to read something that reflected the stories I had heard for so long in something as legitimate as an actual book!
The author's talented with ink on skin as well as on the page: his writing is honest, reflective, and to me his style is akin to Chuck Palahniuk. The chapters are each little slices of his life, experiences that, taken as a whole, leaves you full but not stuffed, yet knowing that soon enough you'll want more. If he doesn't write any more about the tattoo culture I hope he inspires others to do so because it deserves more thoughtfully literate chroniclers like Jeff Johnson.
Full disclosure: I have a family member who is a tattoo artist (who gives this book a seal of approval) and I was happy to read something that reflected the stories I had heard for so long in something as legitimate as an actual book!
July 24, 2009
Jeff Johnson gives a rapidfire, episodic look into his career as a tattoo artist and shop owner. He tells the stories of his many employees, customers, fellow artists, and the non-pro members of the shop "army". If that seems like a lot of people to talk about in such a short book, it is, and that's where this book falls below the "I liked it" rating. We are intruduced to these people, Johnson tells how they touched his life or uses them as an example of the types of people he thinks are exclusive to the tattoo world (they're not, but having never worked in another creative or retail atmosphere, he doesn't know that) and then we're off to something new. I understand that that is the rhythm of his work day, but it makes for a jumpy, almost superficial read. This book is a light look at the world of ink and an only slighly deeper look at Johnson's life in that world.
June 22, 2022
This book is well-written, which is why it deserves three stars, but there’s not much else to commend it. The author’s “I’m a jerk and proud of it” act is grating, and the book doesn’t offer much beyond a repetition of the familiar tropes evident in the plethora of other books, movies, and pop-culture that can be grouped beneath the heading of self-serving and obnoxious noir.
Perhaps all you need to know about the book is that within its pages, the author gleefully celebrates joining one of his fellow reprobates in carving intentionally horrible tattoos into people’s flesh.
Tattooing is a spiritual art, and though he uses both terms throughout his book, the author cheapens them by doing so as part of a transparent attempt to conjure gravitas even as he revels in cruelty and self-glorification.
You can get more from your time and energy.
Perhaps all you need to know about the book is that within its pages, the author gleefully celebrates joining one of his fellow reprobates in carving intentionally horrible tattoos into people’s flesh.
Tattooing is a spiritual art, and though he uses both terms throughout his book, the author cheapens them by doing so as part of a transparent attempt to conjure gravitas even as he revels in cruelty and self-glorification.
You can get more from your time and energy.
December 1, 2009
By turns informative, gross, offensive, entertaining and poorly written. I found this book inconsistent in its tone and it meandered all over the place. Tighter editing would have helped this book. I liked when the author shared what it had been like for him growing up in a seriously dysfunctional, if not absent family. I wish he had included more about this as it helps set up who he has become and how he ended up in this field of work/artistry.
February 12, 2010
This is a fascinating book. I'm not a girl who would get a tattoo, but I want a tattoo. Just not on my body. Maybe as framed artwork?
More memoir than anything else, there are good anecdotes and behind-the-scenes stuff. Jeff Johnson is a great writer - I would love to see if I could find some of his science fiction stuff, but I'm also kind of lazy.
More memoir than anything else, there are good anecdotes and behind-the-scenes stuff. Jeff Johnson is a great writer - I would love to see if I could find some of his science fiction stuff, but I'm also kind of lazy.
June 4, 2010
At times the prose is a little purple and the attitude a little off-putting, but overall an interesting read about one man's experiences in tattooing.
February 8, 2025
My rating is perhaps influenced to having a life of my own in the industry. Honestly, If memory serves correctly, I bought the book at a convention where the artist was. It sat in a box forgotten for almost 10 years before I got around to reading it.
Since that point to this, the industry has changed even more than what one could have imagined at the time when Jeff was reminiscing on the changes up til then and contemplating where the road may go.
In the end, I enjoyed the stories and portrait of the late 90s early 2000s artists and their world that brought me into their fold and who have begun to become the time masters the way that their mentors and idols were before them. A time stamp of an era gone never to return. A memory worth remembering is a tale worth the telling ✨️
Since that point to this, the industry has changed even more than what one could have imagined at the time when Jeff was reminiscing on the changes up til then and contemplating where the road may go.
In the end, I enjoyed the stories and portrait of the late 90s early 2000s artists and their world that brought me into their fold and who have begun to become the time masters the way that their mentors and idols were before them. A time stamp of an era gone never to return. A memory worth remembering is a tale worth the telling ✨️
February 27, 2021
I love tattoos, getting tattoos, and spending time in tattoo shops. I dated a tattoo artist once and learned the basics of tattooing and even did a couple on myself and some other people. That world is something I miss. This book was a great ode to that world with some great stories, some if which are so unbelievable you know they're true. One in particular I'll never forget, and is the reason a friend of mine gifted me this book. Johnson has a strong voice but the writing isn't super sophisticated and the language is definitely rough around the edges. Overall, a very entertaining read.
April 11, 2018
I was surprised by this book. The author is co-owner of a tattoo shop in Portland, Oregon. He shows what life looks like from the perspective of a tattoo shop -- most of us don't see the people or the sides of people that he sees. And he's a reflective, interesting observer. It was actually difficult to put down once I started. An interesting person giving an interesting perspective on life -- what more could you want?
May 11, 2022
a fantastic read for any tattooer, tatter tots and old heads alike, who value the traditional culture of tattooing and its history. the book places immense value on the physical and emotional grind of tattooing and all the adventures that come along with it. i especially enjoyed the horror stories encased within the book, including one chapter named “the killers”
a great read. i still pick it up from time to time to read my favorite excerpts to friends and colleagues.
a great read. i still pick it up from time to time to read my favorite excerpts to friends and colleagues.
March 26, 2019
Didn't want it to end!
I have been putting off finishing this book for several weeks....because I didn't want it to be over! Such an entertaining read and who knew a tattoo artist could write a book? AWESOME! It's rare i enjoy a memoir this much but this is truly a great one for the realness and every day life this book is.
I have been putting off finishing this book for several weeks....because I didn't want it to be over! Such an entertaining read and who knew a tattoo artist could write a book? AWESOME! It's rare i enjoy a memoir this much but this is truly a great one for the realness and every day life this book is.
December 11, 2020
A window into Another World...
A fascinating trip into a world that is becoming more and more accepted in mainstream society, that of the tattoo artist. This book pulls no punches in its language or imagery. If I was on the fence about getting a tattoo, this would be a good book to read as the writer’s love of his art is well articulated throughout.
A fascinating trip into a world that is becoming more and more accepted in mainstream society, that of the tattoo artist. This book pulls no punches in its language or imagery. If I was on the fence about getting a tattoo, this would be a good book to read as the writer’s love of his art is well articulated throughout.
May 9, 2021
My tattoo artist is a nice-seeming Canadian lady who is secretly evil as hell. Hanging out in the studio always seemed like just the tip of a very debauched iceberg. Now that I've read this book, I know maybe a little more about said debauchery than I ever expected. But I'm not sad. This is a super engaging book that is exactly what it purports to be.
April 9, 2025
Tattoo apprentice for one year at the time of reading this and couldn’t have found a more evocative read. Knew I’d enjoy the book from the first few pages of Johnson’s way of illustrating with words …. but even still enjoyed it more and more. Would pick up a series if there was one, pay ya triple for a used one. ;)
May 14, 2017
I loved this book, seeing what it took for Jeff Johnson to become a tattoo artist, and to be in that lifestyle, appealed to me greatly.
This is more of an autobiography, so if your looking for educational books this may not be the read for you, but it sure is fun.
This is more of an autobiography, so if your looking for educational books this may not be the read for you, but it sure is fun.
September 10, 2022
Meh. It took me a while to finish this book. Some of the stories were great… jaw dropping even. But the overall tone of the book was inconsistent. I found myself zoning out quite a few times to be honest.
December 17, 2017
I've been getting tattooed for 18 years now, and I'm the stuff Jeff Johnson talks about going down in his shop is gross.
November 22, 2017
glimpse into the Portland tattoo scene and the assorted miscreants who come into the shop. fun read.
May 30, 2018
The stories Johnson tells are hilarious, terrifying, and make me so glad I'm not a tattoo artist. Fantastic book!
March 2, 2020
While a little all over the place, this read was a very interesting insight into tattoo artistry and the industry around it.
November 24, 2021
good stories with a lot of truth into the tattoo world!
March 9, 2024
First chapter his personality rubbed me the wrong way. Fat-phobic and cocky jerk at times. Finished the book because it was a peek into a different world and perspective.
June 9, 2012
I have a couple of tattoos myself & am fascinated by them as a means of self-expression, so this was an overall fun read. Several others have rightfully pointed out that it is not the most well-written tome out there, and that it feels a bit disjointed/rambling. He does touch on several topics germane to the industry, such as the pain associated with getting a tattoo, of which he writes, "Anyone who says that tattoos don't hurt is, unfortunately, full of s***." As proof, he cites his own personal experience on the receiving end of the needle. This illustrates both the often bombastic nature of his narrative, and the egocentric reference point from which he often draws when relating an anecdote.
Many of the stories he tells are genuinely interesting, shocking, scary, or amusing, but there are times when he wanders off into cruelty, such as he does in the chapter "Making the Cut" (spoiler alert) when he attempts to wring humor out of the failure of a new guy who only lasted four hours (helped along in no small part by Johnson & friend), apparently oblivious to or uncaring of the guy's obvious panic attack, which is something that is not at all funny to anyone who has ever experienced one. Johnson also dedicates an entire chapter to pranks as being the measure of true friendship among his peers; however, none of the descriptions of which left me wishing I were his friend.
He does explain how the industry works (at least in his area), the history of the art, and how difficult it is to get started in the business. He also describes how the tools of the trade work, and about the tattooing process.
The book is definitely a fun, fast read. Yeah, you can Google his work online, but a section of glossy color photos of his work & of the other artists about whom he writes would have been nice, too.
Many of the stories he tells are genuinely interesting, shocking, scary, or amusing, but there are times when he wanders off into cruelty, such as he does in the chapter "Making the Cut" (spoiler alert) when he attempts to wring humor out of the failure of a new guy who only lasted four hours (helped along in no small part by Johnson & friend), apparently oblivious to or uncaring of the guy's obvious panic attack, which is something that is not at all funny to anyone who has ever experienced one. Johnson also dedicates an entire chapter to pranks as being the measure of true friendship among his peers; however, none of the descriptions of which left me wishing I were his friend.
He does explain how the industry works (at least in his area), the history of the art, and how difficult it is to get started in the business. He also describes how the tools of the trade work, and about the tattooing process.
The book is definitely a fun, fast read. Yeah, you can Google his work online, but a section of glossy color photos of his work & of the other artists about whom he writes would have been nice, too.
August 3, 2013
I spent almost as many years in retail as Johnson has spent tattooing, and if my stories are better than the ones chronicled here (and they are) there are only two possibilities: 1) Tattooing is actually a lot duller of a sport than generally reputed or 2) Johnson's lack of narrative prowess can suck the color out of even the most vibrant anecdote. Much as I love to tout the epic cray-cray of retaildom, I'm going to have to admit the odds are firmly on the latter.
Sadly for Johnson, I happen to have just re-read Stephen King's On Writing immediately prior to starting this craft memoir, which only made Tattoo Machine's tendency toward pointlessly circular baroque narrative stand out in even starker relief. The stories are there, buried under cascades of confusing pronouns (Johnson has a weird tendency to eschew assigning the people who populate his anecdotes pseudonyms, which leads to an excess of he/she-ing) and flights of what the author must mistake for narrative fancy, but often as not the failings of style wind up pulling the punchline. I could almost hear King in my head: "Just tell the damn story, why don't you?!?"
Given that I have about zero interest in tattooing in general - and had no idea who Johnson was prior to picking up this memoir on a whim - I'm clearly not the target audience for this book. However I suspect even the most die-hard fan might find him/herself frustrated by the suspicion that the tales told here could have been epic, had they been handled by a different writer.
Sadly for Johnson, I happen to have just re-read Stephen King's On Writing immediately prior to starting this craft memoir, which only made Tattoo Machine's tendency toward pointlessly circular baroque narrative stand out in even starker relief. The stories are there, buried under cascades of confusing pronouns (Johnson has a weird tendency to eschew assigning the people who populate his anecdotes pseudonyms, which leads to an excess of he/she-ing) and flights of what the author must mistake for narrative fancy, but often as not the failings of style wind up pulling the punchline. I could almost hear King in my head: "Just tell the damn story, why don't you?!?"
Given that I have about zero interest in tattooing in general - and had no idea who Johnson was prior to picking up this memoir on a whim - I'm clearly not the target audience for this book. However I suspect even the most die-hard fan might find him/herself frustrated by the suspicion that the tales told here could have been epic, had they been handled by a different writer.
June 15, 2009
I won a copy of Tattoo Machine from GoodReads' First Reads. It is not a book I normally would have picked up at the bookstore - I don't read a lot of memoirs and haven't been much into tattoo culture, but I finished the book wanting to know more about Jeff Johnson and imagining what kind of tattoo I might get! I really enjoyed it. What a great experience. The book is full of every kind of story - It had the rough, hard-partying, sometimes seedy stories I had expected, but it also had really funny, tender, poignant, reflective stories. I found the book really well-rounded and well-written. It certainly rounded out my perspective - my old ideas - of what tattoo shops are and how tattoo culture has shifted and evolved.
While I really love the book, there are moments in the story when I felt like Johnson wanted to rail to prove he was a rebel - he spits out commentary about people who play by rules and want others to as well - he implies that rule-followers are going to be creativity's downfall... but the moments pass and he's back onto a sweet story before you know it. I also skimmed a bit of the history of tattooing machines and pigments - I was really in it for the stories...
Highly recommend.
While I really love the book, there are moments in the story when I felt like Johnson wanted to rail to prove he was a rebel - he spits out commentary about people who play by rules and want others to as well - he implies that rule-followers are going to be creativity's downfall... but the moments pass and he's back onto a sweet story before you know it. I also skimmed a bit of the history of tattooing machines and pigments - I was really in it for the stories...
Highly recommend.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 115 reviews