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The Moms Are Not Alright
From the author of the bestselling cultural touchstones Out of Office and Can’t Even, an honest, intimate, and often shocking look at how the events of the past three years have pushed parents to the breaking point—and how many of them are emerging stronger and more resourceful than before.
Parenting is tough under the best of conditions. Thanks to the ongoing calamities of recent years, it’s more challenging than ever—for mothers in particular. Recent statistics show that more than 60 percent of women have taken on the majority of pandemic parenting and household duties, almost 50 percent are under regular stress, and 39 percent with children under five say they have either left the workforce or reduced their hours because of a lack of reliable and affordable childcare. In short, mothers are not okay.
Plenty of news stories have reported on the increased pressure mothers have been under in the face of Covid, gun violence, inflation, racial acrimony, and more, but we’ve heard little beyond sound bites from women themselves. In this powerful account, Anne Helen Petersen, one of today’s most astute and empathetic cultural observers, gives women voice. Drawing on responses she received from more than a thousand mothers, Petersen shares the first-person stories of thirty-three of them. We hear from moms from a wide range of races, backgrounds, income levels, cities, and towns. Some are single, some divorced, some in same-sex unions. All of them are ready to talk.
With cathartic, raw candor, these moms tell how they’re attempting to work through the anxiety, fatigue, and abject terror of the early 2020s. In stunning detail, they discuss how they’re grappling with the day-to-day emotional and economic fallout, and the deep demoralization that accompanies the sinking feeling that so few people in power are thinking about ways to help. During the shutdown and now, these mothers have felt alone and largely forgotten. For many, it’s increasingly impossible to do what feels like good parenting within the system as it is. Some of this is the fault of the pandemic, but some, too, is the ongoing unraveling of the social safety net and government failure to cultivate communities that support parents. As one mom says, “Most of my friends and their partners are barely hanging on.”
But these stories also show something else: the resilience and adaptability of families. Despite their hardships and worries, these mothers have crafted ways to survive—and thrive. In the absence of political solutions, they’re building their own support systems for themselves and their children. Yes, these moms are pissed off and worn out, but they’re also, ultimately, hopeful.
Not just a story for mothers, this is for friends, colleagues, employers, and even (perhaps especially) policymakers. The way we treat parents is the way we regard caregiving, labor, gender, family, and community at large. If we don’t figure out how to address these issues now, all of us will suffer. The Moms Are Not Alright will make parents feel seen, but it will also speak to the many who are eager to reconsider the way we think of community and care moving forward.
Parenting is tough under the best of conditions. Thanks to the ongoing calamities of recent years, it’s more challenging than ever—for mothers in particular. Recent statistics show that more than 60 percent of women have taken on the majority of pandemic parenting and household duties, almost 50 percent are under regular stress, and 39 percent with children under five say they have either left the workforce or reduced their hours because of a lack of reliable and affordable childcare. In short, mothers are not okay.
Plenty of news stories have reported on the increased pressure mothers have been under in the face of Covid, gun violence, inflation, racial acrimony, and more, but we’ve heard little beyond sound bites from women themselves. In this powerful account, Anne Helen Petersen, one of today’s most astute and empathetic cultural observers, gives women voice. Drawing on responses she received from more than a thousand mothers, Petersen shares the first-person stories of thirty-three of them. We hear from moms from a wide range of races, backgrounds, income levels, cities, and towns. Some are single, some divorced, some in same-sex unions. All of them are ready to talk.
With cathartic, raw candor, these moms tell how they’re attempting to work through the anxiety, fatigue, and abject terror of the early 2020s. In stunning detail, they discuss how they’re grappling with the day-to-day emotional and economic fallout, and the deep demoralization that accompanies the sinking feeling that so few people in power are thinking about ways to help. During the shutdown and now, these mothers have felt alone and largely forgotten. For many, it’s increasingly impossible to do what feels like good parenting within the system as it is. Some of this is the fault of the pandemic, but some, too, is the ongoing unraveling of the social safety net and government failure to cultivate communities that support parents. As one mom says, “Most of my friends and their partners are barely hanging on.”
But these stories also show something else: the resilience and adaptability of families. Despite their hardships and worries, these mothers have crafted ways to survive—and thrive. In the absence of political solutions, they’re building their own support systems for themselves and their children. Yes, these moms are pissed off and worn out, but they’re also, ultimately, hopeful.
Not just a story for mothers, this is for friends, colleagues, employers, and even (perhaps especially) policymakers. The way we treat parents is the way we regard caregiving, labor, gender, family, and community at large. If we don’t figure out how to address these issues now, all of us will suffer. The Moms Are Not Alright will make parents feel seen, but it will also speak to the many who are eager to reconsider the way we think of community and care moving forward.
79 pages, ebook
Published September 28, 2022
8 people are currently reading
304 people want to read
About the author
Anne Helen Petersen
7 books816 followersAnne Helen Petersen has an actual Ph.D. in celebrity gossip and writes longform pieces for BuzzFeed.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
November 14, 2022
Short interesting book that I have some good and negative opinions on.
On the good
- Helped me appreciate women especially my wife more!
- Shows the problem of a society that yells feminism but helps women so little
- Shows how our generation is void of responsible men especially as it pertains to the home
On the negative
- I didn’t realize this book was only about post pandemic and really think mothers are having a hard time period in this generation especially as it pertains to support and mental health
- Non- women and mothers are emphasized so much that it muddies the message so many social and political hobby horses were paraded in this book it detracts from the core message
On the good
- Helped me appreciate women especially my wife more!
- Shows the problem of a society that yells feminism but helps women so little
- Shows how our generation is void of responsible men especially as it pertains to the home
On the negative
- I didn’t realize this book was only about post pandemic and really think mothers are having a hard time period in this generation especially as it pertains to support and mental health
- Non- women and mothers are emphasized so much that it muddies the message so many social and political hobby horses were paraded in this book it detracts from the core message
December 31, 2025
I wasn’t a mom in 2020 (in fact, if you told me then that I would be a mom in 2025, I would have laughed at you) - but this was an interesting read. lots to relate to and lots to learn from.
November 3, 2022
A quick audiobook I listened to while running errands. Some parts depressing. Some parts extremely relatable. Some less relatable. Very interesting and I’d like to see this topic revisited in a lengthier format in a couple years as we go further and further from March of 2020.
December 16, 2022
3,5*
A bit depressing, mostly relatable. Parenting during pandemic was tough.
A bit depressing, mostly relatable. Parenting during pandemic was tough.
November 13, 2024
I’m not sure why my reading app recommended this, but while COVID lockdown was very very hard, I’m not cool with joining the “my life is so hard, I just can’t even” mentality. I feel like this could’ve been a podcast or something
April 24, 2023
A collection of stories from “the other essential workers”, mothers. Told in the words of women who faced various difficulties during the. COVID-19 crisis. Excellent collection that provides insights from people we would never otherwise meet. The storytellers come from a variety of backgrounds but share a common thread: the value of community. I feel an increase appreciation for people I’ve never met and empathy for people I may never meet.
February 18, 2024
This book really hit home. As the mother of three small children when the pandemic hit, I was not alright. My youngest has a degenerative lung disease and all we knew in the very beginning was the damage Covid was doing to lungs.
My husband and I were terrified and angry. I was the only one that left the house. I did all the errands and shopping. We kept our circle extremely small, limiting ourselves to just my in-laws and us. This book of essays made me realize just how common our story was during that time.
"There has been someone in, on, around me every second since..."
I had been back from maternity leave for 2 weeks when the initial lockdown happened. I remember being scared, but thankful to be home with my husband and kids. I had the ability to keep them safe and work remotely. That was a luxury many didn't have.
"I'm afraid to tell people how many Dominos pizzas we've ordered in the last two years. I'm afraid people will find out that I barely shower, and I eat terribly and I'm surrounded by toys and clothes and food and my house is messy all the time no matter how much I clean"
As lucky as we knew we were, Covid was about survival in this house. Three kids (4, 2, and 4mo) made the days very long. My husband and I managed to become a stronger unit during this time. We relied on each other more and he is truly my best friend. The person I don't think I could ever live without and thinking about that terrifies me, so I better die first. Within this book, I got to really hear other women talk about the changes in their lives, their relationships, the way they viewed themselves and others, and it made me reflect on the last 4 years. Something I've briefly done intermittently, but tried not to focus on too long because it's emotionally draining.
I'm so glad I decided to turn this book on and get an idea of others' experiences. This book made me realize that it is okay to not be okay.
It's okay to be angry.
It's okay to think this was the worst time of your life.
It's okay to think this was the best time of your life.
Whatever you feel is valid.
My husband and I were terrified and angry. I was the only one that left the house. I did all the errands and shopping. We kept our circle extremely small, limiting ourselves to just my in-laws and us. This book of essays made me realize just how common our story was during that time.
"There has been someone in, on, around me every second since..."
I had been back from maternity leave for 2 weeks when the initial lockdown happened. I remember being scared, but thankful to be home with my husband and kids. I had the ability to keep them safe and work remotely. That was a luxury many didn't have.
"I'm afraid to tell people how many Dominos pizzas we've ordered in the last two years. I'm afraid people will find out that I barely shower, and I eat terribly and I'm surrounded by toys and clothes and food and my house is messy all the time no matter how much I clean"
As lucky as we knew we were, Covid was about survival in this house. Three kids (4, 2, and 4mo) made the days very long. My husband and I managed to become a stronger unit during this time. We relied on each other more and he is truly my best friend. The person I don't think I could ever live without and thinking about that terrifies me, so I better die first. Within this book, I got to really hear other women talk about the changes in their lives, their relationships, the way they viewed themselves and others, and it made me reflect on the last 4 years. Something I've briefly done intermittently, but tried not to focus on too long because it's emotionally draining.
I'm so glad I decided to turn this book on and get an idea of others' experiences. This book made me realize that it is okay to not be okay.
It's okay to be angry.
It's okay to think this was the worst time of your life.
It's okay to think this was the best time of your life.
Whatever you feel is valid.
February 7, 2025
As a mom who found out she was pregnant with her first baby 2 days into the shutdown, I knew I would cry reading this but I didn't expect it to feel so therapeutic. Ironically, Anne Helen Petersen's other work "Can't Even" brought so much comfort to me as I survived the newborn phase with him at the end of 2020, as it helped me navigate generational traumas with my boomer relatives, stuck in 1980s & 1990s parenting. It's been almost 5 years since the start of the pandemic and in some way this read feels just as relevant.
I agree with other reviews, that it would be nice to able to have more representation of various experiences, however I think it opens an extremely important conversation. I know I still personally grieve everything that came from the pandemic and haven't completely healed, in many ways, reading this I felt less alone in this new normal we currently live.
I agree with other reviews, that it would be nice to able to have more representation of various experiences, however I think it opens an extremely important conversation. I know I still personally grieve everything that came from the pandemic and haven't completely healed, in many ways, reading this I felt less alone in this new normal we currently live.
December 4, 2022
I’m not sure I would even call this a book. It’s literally a compilation of essays from mothers around the country and in different stages/types of parenthood about the challenges and trauma of parenting during and through Covid. I was surprised there wasn’t more analysis and depth about the challenges for mothers, about behavior changes in children due to Covid, any representation from fathers who are primary caregivers and how they were affected and overall no recommendations for how to improve the situations mothers are in. Left a lot to be desired. I’m a mother and still struggling with how parenting has changed due to Covid…so what? Where’s the other half of this ‘book’ with ideas of how to change the broken system so constantly noted and brought up? Disappointing.
March 10, 2023
I loved this short read. It spoke to me and I found myself in the shoes of so many of the stories. Yes, motherhood is hard all of the time, but the pandemic compounded this in a way that still impacts us and leaves me wondering if we’re ever going to get back to where we were before the world came to a halt. I know we’re not, but I still wonder. It spoke to my mental health. It spoke to the shame I feel from the effects it had on my children. It spoke to the helplessness of that moment and how I had survivors guilt for getting the mom that the government was giving and making the best of it while celebrating that the money received saved me from becoming completely destitute in those days. This is a must read for mothers who parented from 2020-2022.
April 30, 2023
This book reminded me of social studies research cases in which data gatherings depends on interviews and questionnaires. The author approach is simple; reciting mothers experience through the pandemic so as to understand and explore the impact on them; mentally, physically, and financially.
The author research focus was on mothers; majority of them were new mothers which needs to be noted and acknowledged as the findings will be more specified and less generalized. It is noted that mothers struggled from the pandemic restrictions. They were all drained and stressed out with their babies, lack of family presence, and interestingly; a significant percentage noted the lack of parental support. I would have preferred for more clarification as 99% of households worked remotely unless they were frontlines and essential workers so I would have wished if furthers questioned were asked regarding such arrangements.
All on all, it was an easy read with quite expected outcomes thanks to social media platforms that gave everyone I’m judging mothers accessible outlets to vent/describe/discuss their experiences throughout the pandemic. Therefore, I don’t think it was a worthwhile read as it did not discuss the findings and looked into these mothers’s experiences in more details.
The author research focus was on mothers; majority of them were new mothers which needs to be noted and acknowledged as the findings will be more specified and less generalized. It is noted that mothers struggled from the pandemic restrictions. They were all drained and stressed out with their babies, lack of family presence, and interestingly; a significant percentage noted the lack of parental support. I would have preferred for more clarification as 99% of households worked remotely unless they were frontlines and essential workers so I would have wished if furthers questioned were asked regarding such arrangements.
All on all, it was an easy read with quite expected outcomes thanks to social media platforms that gave everyone I’m judging mothers accessible outlets to vent/describe/discuss their experiences throughout the pandemic. Therefore, I don’t think it was a worthwhile read as it did not discuss the findings and looked into these mothers’s experiences in more details.
February 10, 2025
I was recently at a workshop with a group of women who started talking about our pandemic experiences of motherhood and how those interacted with our professional experiences and identities. It was fascinating. I very comfortably laughed and cried during this conversation with new friends.
Reading Petersen's short collection of vignettes from moms from many different locations--geographical, sociocultural, age--was like a continuation of that rich, meaningful conversation of a few weeks ago.
It would be nice to have more sociological or psychological analysis of the stories collected here, but I also found it very compelling and thought-provoking to simply listen to them in edited form without mediation.
Reading Petersen's short collection of vignettes from moms from many different locations--geographical, sociocultural, age--was like a continuation of that rich, meaningful conversation of a few weeks ago.
It would be nice to have more sociological or psychological analysis of the stories collected here, but I also found it very compelling and thought-provoking to simply listen to them in edited form without mediation.
January 3, 2023
I didn't realize how much I was really affected by the COVID-19 pandemic until I listened to this e-book. Hearing the candid and vulnerable stories of others was definitely a healing experience. It allowed me to address my own personal trauma resulting from the pandemic. Trauma that I seemingly tucked away, which likely was presenting in other ways. (irritability, impatience, etc.) It also made me reflect on the positives that have come out of the pandemic as well. (slowing down, relocating to a smaller community, etc.)
February 17, 2024
Reading like a Buzzfeed article titled "45 people with children those time during covid was wayyyyyyy sh*ttier than yours", but one that has been written by an actual adult, most of the snippets were really harrowing and got their point across super well - don't have children if you're not fully prepared - but the few cheery, hopeful snippets really moved me, as it's so wonderful to pick up the joyful pieces in the middle of all the nightmare testaments.
Edit: OMG she was an editor at Buzzfeed!
Edit: OMG she was an editor at Buzzfeed!
January 4, 2023
A quick, audiobook listen. I don’t read synopsis of books before starting, so based off the title - I didn’t know it was going to be a collection of short stories. So, not my favorite kind of read/listen.
It was a group of short stories from different women talking about how parenting during the pandemic impacted them.
So, if you talked to friends/family members that are mothers the past few years, then you’ve pretty much gotten the gist of the book. Haha.
It was a group of short stories from different women talking about how parenting during the pandemic impacted them.
So, if you talked to friends/family members that are mothers the past few years, then you’ve pretty much gotten the gist of the book. Haha.
March 10, 2023
This book focuses on essays submitted for this project of parenting through the pandemic and how seeing people struggle with parenting changed some couples' minds on having kids. Families from all backgrounds and how they have felt through all of this. This book focuses on the moms specifically, and it is even said in the beginning of the book why this focuses on moms.
If you have a Scribd subscription, I highly recommend this.
If you have a Scribd subscription, I highly recommend this.
November 6, 2024
This book was fitting for its time, but it lacks a bit of diversity. The mothers portrayed all seem to fit into a similar mold, and it would be refreshing to see a wider range of backgrounds and perspectives. I hope a future edition broadens its view to better represent the variety of moms out there. I’ll be interested to see what comes next.
February 1, 2023
A collection of short stories of moms' experiences in the pandemic with pandemic parenting. I didn't realize it was just short stories - literally little snippets - and thought there would be more to it. It was good to hear other's experiences though.
July 26, 2023
I like the idea behind this book, I just didn’t think it had enough breadth. Maybe the message is not for me, but for people who weren’t parenting during the pandemic who are interested in what is going on for moms in this new post-pandemic world?
October 18, 2023
It seems like a dream. I wrote in my journal everyday - I remember people saying that these journals would become the source material for books about this time in history. This book covers SO many different scenarios and so many different perspectives.
November 20, 2023
A short read of different voices sharing their really hard Covid parenting experiences… felt like reminiscing about a really toxic situation. The Moms are still not all the way okay, but so glad it’s better!
February 4, 2024
A quick overview of some of the problems faced by moms through the pandemic, this short work exposes the gaping cracks in the system that have been torturing moms for decades, and that covid brought to the fore.
May 21, 2025
Admittedly this is hard for me to rate because I’m not a parent nor am I ever interested in parenting. However, the number of first hand accounts are useful for me in understanding others and various rifts in society
May 22, 2025
I was expecting some sort of social commentary on modern parenting. Instead, it was very pandemic focused.
Also, for a short book, it tried so hard to go in so many different directions (neurodivergence, gender identity etc).
Also, for a short book, it tried so hard to go in so many different directions (neurodivergence, gender identity etc).
October 25, 2022
Listened
November 1, 2022
Short (~2 hour audiobook) interviews with women about their motherhood experiences throughout the pandemic. A little depressing, sometimes relatable, ends somewhat abruptly.
November 7, 2022
Very good. I think we all have some sort of PTSD from the past 2 years and COVID. I would have liked to have read more about parents of teenagers.
November 9, 2022
Good but painful to read
November 16, 2022
Some of these short stories are very relatable. The book kind of just ended all of a sudden.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews