HONEST: Everything They Don't Tell You About Sex, Relationships and Bodies

by Milly Evans, Lucia Picerno (Illustrator)

Sex is EVERYWHERE. So why don't we talk about it properly?

A bare-all, refreshingly honest guide for teens, written by someone who isn't thirty years older than you.

Being a teen is tough enough without having to navigate the minefields of discovering sex, love and bodies. And let's be sex education at school doesn't always cut it.

Sex educator and journalist Milly Evans is here to help - as a young adult who is still figuring life out, she knows exactly what teens are going through. And she's here with answers to all those questions that aren't in their school textbooks.

From orgasms to anatomy, gender identity to masturbation, positive relationships to first times, it's all here, and in candid detail.

With playful and informative black-and-white illustrations by Lucia Picerno throughout, HONEST is the searingly frank, inclusive and witty guide that every 21st century teenager needs.

Enough foreplay! Let's do this.

Genres: Nonfiction, Queer, Sexuality, Education, LGBT

281 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 9, 2022

Reviews

[J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The is a fabulous book for teenagers and young adults about bodies, sex and relationships. It’s written in plain language without being condescending, and even though I’m in my twenties and had a fairly comprehensive sex education, I learned some things, so I think it’s a great resource to fill in knowledge gaps. I highly recommend!
The chapter on anatomy covers genitals in an affirming and inclusive way, with labelled diagrams, a discussion of functions, common health issues and signs of cancer, with links to extra resources and an account by an intersex activist.
The chapter on sex covers a range of things under the ‘sex’ umbrella, which again is inclusive and doesn’t centre penis-in-vagina intercourse. It discusses orgasms, the emotional components of sex and non-sexual intimacy, boundaries and consent, aftercare, and practicalities like lube. As a Disabled person on the asexuality spectrum, I really appreciated the inclusion of both disability and ace identities in the discussion around having sex (and the account from the fabulous Black ace activist Yasmin Benoit).
There is another chapter specifically devoted to consent and boundaries. It covers useful language for consent, setting boundaries and saying no. It also talks about cultural issues around consent and sexual assault (there is a trigger warning included just before this section) with info about victim support organisations.
The chapter on health talks about the symptoms of common STIs and getting tested (with lots of extra resources listed), intimate hygiene products, contraception and barrier protection. The chapter on masturbation is kind and pragmatic; the chapter on relationships covers ‘green flags’ as well as break ups and navigating power dynamics.
There is a chapter discussing sexuality and gender which is trans- and non-binary inclusive. It covers choosing (or not) and using (or not) labels, coming out, and discrimination against and within LGBTQ+ communities. There’s another chapter that covers gender (identity, expression, pronouns, sex, dysphoria), stereotypes and equality. The book rounds off with online issues like internet dating and pornography, and mental health awareness.
I received a free copy from NetGalley in return for an honest review

[Jasmin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitiv für Jugendliche geschrieben und für diese auch sehr geeignet. Leider nicht auf deutsch verfügbar, ansonsten wäre es ein toller Verweis im Sexualkundeunterricht.

[ariana⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
I could tell this book was targeted towards younger teens than myself, or even preteens, as I already knew a lot of the information in it, but it’s a great resource for kids going through puberty

[Jaymie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was targeted at my age range so I thought I'd pick it up, sex ed was never a huge thing in any school I went to, and the things we learnt weren't exactly that informative or helpful.

However, reading this, I feel like I just knew all of it already, some of it was very obvious (I know it might not be for all people, but it was for me) and I found myself skipping certain chapters because I was already educated on the matters.

This book could be incredibly helpful for people who do need and want to know this stuff, there is so much in here about how 'your body is normal no matter what' which could be so, so helpful to younger teenagers who are growing up in a social world full of photoshop and filters, but I feel like for older teenagers, you may already know most of this anyway!

I would still recommend picking this book up if you feel like you need to learn some things about people's bodies and relationships, and I commend the author for writing such an honest book, it just wasn't anything new to me!

[ellamycroft · Rating 3 out of 5]

i found this to be very informative but it just wasn't quite what i was expecting it to be!

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow am I glad I requested this book. It’s the book I wish I had when I was a teenager with all these unvoiced questions and anxieties. It’s certainly a resource I am going to be glad to have when my kids approach the teenage years. It’s a really thorough, comprehensive guide to the physical, societal and mental health issues teenagers face during puberty. Yet it’s written in an approachable, casual and friendly way.
It’s a great book for giving me hints on how to broach topics with my children as well as having them read independently on the subject too. It belongs on the bookshelf of every family home.

[Julia Troszczynska · Rating 4 out of 5]

an educational read. clearly aimed at a slightly younger audience (pre-teens and teenagers) and for this reason, some of the chapters seemed to be about topics which are very much obvious and almost “common-sense” to me. however, i still managed to learn something new and it was an enjoyable read. especially useful for a younger audience just jumping into learning about sex, relationships, identities, etc. for the first time.

i also thought that it was very inclusive because of the fact that it did not only focus on the heteronormative perspective regarding all of the aforementioned topics.

[Brittany (whatbritreads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Thank you to HotKey Books for gifting me a copy of this book!*

This book was honestly (haha, see what I did there) really good, and I was pleasantly surprised with how much I was actually learning from it. Despite being 23 and feeling like I was pretty clued up about a lot of things covered in here, over time it became clear that I have also been a victim of both misinformation and lack of information available.

I found this book to be extremely accessible, which is exactly what you’re looking for when it comes to this type of non fiction read. There was no jargon, everything was explained clearly without patronising the reader, and it was easy to connect with the voice of the author. The way their shared anecdotes of their own experiences with various things really opened the reader up to engage, made it all feel less overwhelming, and it was relatable. I also loved how Millie’s personality shone through as well in the writing style. Sometimes learning things can feel taxing or dull, but it was actually easy to engage with here and has several funny moments that I enjoyed. That also never took away from the emphasis on the seriousness of some of the topics discussed which were done so with a lot of care.

Never have I seen sex ed so inclusive and diverse before. This book is honestly going to help so many people, and be the start of a lot of great conversations. It was open in discussing all bodies, sexualities, genders, and even had disability representation. These are all things so much formal education is terrified of covering, but is what we actually need more of for the health and safety of future generations.

I really enjoyed it. It was well written, balanced, digestible, and thoroughly referenced and researched. I loved the artwork and extra resources available here too. Great read.

(Also I managed to have a chat with the author at an event recently and they were so nice! And very cool. Unsurprising that they’ve written such an amazing book.)

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could and would have so appreciated this in my teens when I was younger.
The book is informative, but it is so not preachy and it doesn't gloss over things that make us feel uncomfortable to be talked about in large groups of people, yet which we all know goes on, like orgasms and masturbation.

My mom was always very open about periods, contraception, sex and not getting pregnant, I never felt I couldn't tell her things in my later teens but I would want my step kids and perhaps even my children when they come along to feel like they could come to me and if they couldn't I'd be getting this book for all of us, especially useful for children but also from an adults point of view in learning how to approach these rather awkward subjects, this book becomes a tool for all.

I really didn't know what to expect with this book, but I've really enjoyed it and it's made me wish more than ever that my education had had a bold and educational book like this. It's not just about the education though, we were taught about sex as teenagers, fifteen and the boys watched a video and the girls were drilled about not getting pregnant, where to buy condoms etc, obviously I don't feel that's very fair and so I really liked the part about where the author talks about why she campaigned for sex education and I feel that is so REFRESHING.

The chapter on anatomy was by far something I thought was so important, down to the labeling on the organs to the importance of checking and looking for signs of ill health. I really liked how the author included disability, something which affects a vast majority of people, mental health, anxiety and transgender, including discrimination within and against the community, coming out and more.
I also really appreciated the chapter about consent and having the ability to say no, sexual assault and also about the importance of relationships and boundaries, and how to cope with break ups. Such a handy book, I will definitely be getting a copy of this for when those turbulent years approach, its something I want to be very open about in my house and I want everyone to feel comforted and like their is no shame, having sexual feelings, or wanting sex - isn't dirty, its a natural thing.

I received a free copy from NetGalley in return for an honest review

[Emily Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant guide providing both reassurance and knowledge. The book I needed to read as a teenager, but which is also a great read as a young adult. Milly has done a wonderful job - the lay out and structure of this book is fab.

[Mayor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't sure at first why I had this book in my TBR, but while writing the review I ended up connecting the dots, and I'm 99% sure it's because of the ad (I fear it is exactly that) in Unmasked: The Ultimate Guide to ADHD, Autism and Neurodivergence, where the author claims: "They [Milly Evans] have changed many lives through their content and their campaigning, and they know more about sex education than anybody else I know (and possibly anyone else on the planet, but now I’m being biased)."

This review will largely consist of criticisms, but I think this book is generally a good summary of information for teens and young adults, perhaps for those in their early 20s. Beyond that, unless you've on purpose limited your exposure to information about sex & co, it doesn't have too much new to offer. (It does have frequent resource lists (though often UK specific), so those can be useful still.)

The writing style
The author establishes a sort of fun aunt/older sibling style of writing, and that can be a good thing, but sometimes it falls into immaturity instead.
1. Author's personal (arguably unnecessary) comments, such as:
- "[...]the body will get rid of the uterine lining, mucus and blood over the next four to eight days to prepare to go through the cycle again (yippee!)."
- "[...] Phew... it's a rollercoaster of hormones and body changes every single month. Someone cancel my subscription, please!"
- "Do you want another biscuit? Would you [...] Yeah, all of my examples revolve around food - I'm hungry, okay?"
- "You could have had one partner or seventy-five (FYI, I seriously envy the organisational skills of anyone with seventy-five partners at once)."
2. Banal statements:
- "[...]there are as many different ways to love as there are people in the world."
3. Perhaps this is just a "me" issue, but:
- Using the word "boobs" instead of "breasts".
- "Sleeping problems" instead of "sleep problems".
- The word "tonnes".

Sex & the body
A lot of factual information regarding bodies and processes was quite bare-bones. I'll name a few:
- The list of period symptoms was shorter than the explanation about period poops.
- Little information on "the pill", or the fact that it is pushed on women regardless of symptoms.
- Vague info on intersex bodies and any potential variation.
- Wet dreams are mentioned once and not explained further (with all topics we have to assume that the intent is both to give information to the person who may experience it themselves, and to inform someone born with a different body, but wishing to understand others, and hence certain things are not "common knowledge".)
- Information about not recommending the use of soap and such products on genitals is immediately available in the male section, while you have to go way to chapter four for the same information for the female genitalia.
- No deep-dive on menstrual products (only mentions tampons and pads, but not cups or discs). (Or that they are now finding heavy metals in cotton-based menstrual products, which cause issues, but perhaps this was not known at the time this book was prepared/published.)
- Only mentions of PCOS and endometriosis, but almost no information regarding them, such as additional symptoms besides changes in period length/heaviness (considering that the book is aimed at young people, and most are told that menstruation is unstable (length of days, days in between), and can be heavier than later in life, so chances are they won't recognize themselves as potentially having one or the other condition. And if not symptoms, then what those conditions may mean long-term. The point of my reading a book about sex & bodies is to actually learn about these things in more depth, yet I learned nothing. (I know, I know, the author wants me to go to their Tiktok page, but that would just prove we've lost the point of what books are for.)
- No information about pregnancy as such. The author could have at least linked the girl with the list, since those are the facts you probably won't find on your regular let's-raise-birthrates-government-website or So-You're-Expecting?-Book. Regardless if one wants to become pregnant or not, you'd think the changes happening in the female body during pregnancy would qualify for a book concerned with sex & bodies.

This book seems more like a personal blog on a mission to tell the very basics through the hihi-haha method, while also skipping some of the basics and diving into very specific information ("If you don’t get pregnant, the levels of oestrogen and progesterone in your body decrease, causing your period.). And after that, it's a reference book to other sources/websites, where to get the real information. It is therefore rather ironic that the title is "Everything They Don't Tell You About Sex, Relationships and Bodies" yet it seems that the book continually exclaims: "Read this somewhere else, I don't have time to explain it to you, you silly goose!"
It's written in a very filler-filled style, which I could forgive had it actually included all the missing information that the author neglects to add, because I assume "the book would be too long", but when there are sentences like this, one sees this whole book more as a dump diary: "I’m not going to patronise you by teaching you the basics of online safety. I sat through a lot of painfully acted e-safety videos at school and I’m pretty sure I could have taught my teachers more about the internet than they taught me. But there are things we all need to know and be aware of to make sure we’re living our best lives, online and IRL."

-The "Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury" section had the absolutely wild addition of "#BoringSelfCare. I fear I had to despair-laugh, because what in the actual fuckery do you mean going to a dentist or speaking to your friends is "self care"? What in the god of pop-psychology are we doing by assigning bullshit terminology to basic things. "Don't forget to wipe after you poop, that's self care, baby!" could have been added and would NOT have felt out of place.

The Interviews
The author using outside sources is good, but most were activists/campaigners; one interview being with her parents. They are given one-liner questions, with all being asked at the end the vague "What change do you hope to see in the future?". The answers often contain filler-bits or unnecessary toxic positivity. One such was in Pheeebs Jameson's interview: "[...]but I hope this can show that, no matter what you've been through, you can and will get through it." Help, is this a teen magazine?
I think it would have been better had the author interviewed the necessary sources, and then edited their answers in a format that is more informative rather than "Instagram hashtag chat-with-personality".

Toxic Positivity
There were repeated cases of (toxic) positivity or akin, which are genuinely dismissive, if not flat-out harmful.
- "You might end up having an examination (where your doctor looks at your genitals to see if anything looks or feels abnormal). I can promise you that neither of these things is as bad as you're anticipating. [...]" While fear-mongering is not the answer, the fact remains that girls and women are assaulted even in a gynecologist's office, and is a reason, why some women choose to never go again even if that means dying from cancer. And, even if there is no SA, then it can still be a dreadful experience for some - and it's okay to acknowledge that - instead, one can focus on explaining that sometimes we have to go through *awkward* things in life to make sure we're healthy.
- "So if you're feeling awful about yourself at the moment, don't worry - it's unlikely to stay that way forever. This in regards to self-esteem, and that is such a bland statement. The author then continues: "Nobody can deny that we all have value. There’s something special and unique about every single one of us (including you!), whether it’s your kindness, a weird talent, or the way you can make your friends laugh. Tapping into what makes us special can help us feel more secure, even if other people or the rest of the world want to convince us that we’re worth less.
Except that... that's not how depression works, and patriarchy does not make it easy for anyone to value their "true" selves. It is active work of dismantling the status quo, and the patriarchal ideology that tells women to shave, use make-up, remain quiet, passive, and small. It is not something that should be dismissed with the toxic positivity of "it's unlikely to stay that way forever.". This is all the more interesting, when the author themselves admit that: "Now there are thousands of apps that can do pro-level editing in minutes. I have six of these apps on my phone... SIX! Right, so we're being given body positivity advice from someone who is still stuck in the labyrinth of pleasuring patriarchy? I see.
- "I guarantee that there are people in your life who want to help you feel like the best version of you. You won’t be burdening them, and they won’t think any differently of you for sharing your problems with them." This might be directly copy pasted from some anti-suicide, anti-depression, shut-up-what-are-you-crying-about advice column. The reality is, SOME people genuinely do not have such people in their life. (And I don't even have to mean people outside UK, who may be affected by as the author mentions "Twelve countries still have the death penalty for being gay." or similar things), but rather those in the UK who might be experiencing ongoing abuse. It is ultimately a dismissal of anyone, who has reached out and received no help; who has told people about their sexuality or neurodiversity, and been rejected, jeered at, abused, even by "friends". Look at the stigma around schizophrenia, and how many people lose friends because of it. Not stigmatized enough? Okay, then pedophilia OCD? Or have someone going through *years* of PTSD and depression, and ask them how their friend numbers have dwindled, because they just aren't fun enough anymore. We live in an age, where trauma and mental health issues are so prevalent that we are not just exhausted by supporting ourselves, but being the therapist friend to probably more than one person and for extended periods without it being reciprocated (and sometimes because those friends are genuinely exhausted by life despite actually being in therapy). It's a complex issue, so I won't rant on anymore, but stating platitudes like "someone out there cares about you" is the same as saying nothing at all.
It seems to me that because the author has supportive parents, they have completely shut out the possibility of abusive parents. That takes me to my next point.

Mental health
It is ironic for the book's author to mention Tiktok, misinformation and suggesting people "research reliable sources", while the author doesn't seem to be really certified in anything, yet wrote this book anyway. Largely, it's not a concern if proper research is done, but...
They admit that: "Now, I'm no mental health expert (there are plenty of other books out there by people who are)." - proceeds to mention none of said books or people), while also crafting a whole chapter on just how to exist, recognize red flags and communicate in relationships (and only considers monogamous relationships; not a whiff of polyamory).
Domestic abuse is largely seen as 'intimate partner violence', but even the interviewed person mentions that "[...] you could have had an unhealthy relationship with one of your parents, siblings or other family members while growing up., yet the linked resources seem to only consider the prior, and not many examples of parental abuse/neglect or sibling abuse are given.
The author's own story about how they sought help: "[...] I managed to find the courage to tell my parents how I felt. From there, we came up with a plan of action." Okay, and what if your parents are abusive? Great time to discuss alternatives of where the target audience *khem* teens should turn to.
The author describes their aftereffects (and still ongoing effects) of an abusive relationship, which to my knowledge, all sound a lot like PTSD. Has there been a single mention of PTSD or CPTSD? Nope. But I think it is important for people to understand that those "aftershock" symptoms won't just go away with time, that they may have become whole conditions, a well-crafted and hidden network of fight-and-flight-and-freeze-and-fawn, which are possibly more prevalent in people with other neurodiversities.

More on the accusation of this book being a personal blog - the writing style sometimes takes this form "Are you editing your photos because you want to, or because you feel you have to? What’s wrong with looking like you? It could be because of beauty standards you’re seeing among people you’re following, or it could be that you started small with your edits and had to keep making more and more extreme changes to be happy with your photos." instead of actually having proper paragraphs explaining the psychology. (But the author doesn't have that kind of education or sources, so what am I expecting?)

It is quaint that there is a mention of this: "Misusing substances like this [drugs and alcohol] can also increase your risk of developing mental illnesses like depression and schizophrenia. (I am not sure where they got this fact from, since its source is not in the reference list at the end of the book. I looked at mind.org.uk, which they have linked regarding other mental health statistics in that chapter, but the actual site when reading about schizophrenia says nothing of the kind - the only thing it claims is that alcohol/drugs may "play a part in violence", and "Some people may develop symptoms of schizophrenia after using drugs. [...] Researchers still aren't sure whether using drugs directly causes these symptoms. [...] But there's evidence that using recreational drugs can make symptoms worse."
And so, the original statement is somewhat misleading; what does it mean "increases the risk of developing", because surely that's closely synonymous with "causes".
If anything, it's more likely to be the other way around; by having a preexisting mental health condition a person is more likely to turn to alcohol/drugs as a means of easing those symptoms.

The Great Online
The author states how "I try to cull the number of people I follow on a regular basis" and similar advice on how to navigate the online world of socialization.
First, that's a very strange way to mistake the online "friend" list for an irl friends list, but perhaps that's just my segregated view of both worlds.
Secondly, it seems that the author is rather stuck on having to stay online no matter what. Perhaps the author is afraid that the target audience will not be able to say no to putting the phone down, but really, we no longer need to post our faces and names out there, especially in the great AI and Big Brother age. They mention the benefits (connecting with diverse people around the world etc.), but there is a point, where a suggestion should come along the lines of: if the online world makes you too insecure, perhaps it's time to disconnect (or at LEAST, detach).

"Just Report"
I had to chuckle when the author talked about reporting sexual harassment/assault, and brought up police. Are we forgetting the statistics? Since the author is from the UK, here are some: bbc.com/news/uk-64915126.
To not mention and consider the many reasons why women do not report is amiss. Besides being assaulted again by a cop after calling their assault in, the victim may be treated as the bad guy instead; told to not report; not sure if this is the case in UK, but the victim having to pay for the rape kit, as well as other medical expenses, and any legal fees; having the trauma go on for years, and having to recount it in front of the abuser in court... on and on.

The problem with pornography
The author acknowledges that: "Unfortunately, there are stories out there of performers [those in the porn industry] who have been treated badly by studios or other performers. [...] It can be even more difficult to know whether everyone's consented to create or share amateur porn, or if you're watching something that was filmed or shared without someone's permission."
It is ironic then that they still go on and support porn, both as an industry and those that take part (a sexual exploitation of usually minority or economically-vulnerable women, not to mention the whole sex trafficking industry). Neither do they consider an issue with the effects of porn on a person, as long as "[...] have the tools to unpack what you're seeing, and it doesn't start affecting the rest of your life or sex or relationships with other people." Again, target demographic of this book is...? Probably not the people that have such tools, nor does the book itself delve into what tools these exactly are, beyond the generic - we don't see the behind the scenes, they are performers, blah blah. Not a smidge of dismantling why is it that men in these scenarios are violent and abusive, and even the most basic of "it's sooo large, will it even fit??" being akin to men getting off of women's pain and suffering, while clad in a shadow of "consent".
The author instead states: "Some people feel that watching porn is unethical for performers or harmful to the viewer. This is something you can decide for yourself. Or the author could look up studies about the influences of pornography, or even just the concept of porn addiction, since... this is supposed to be a "researched" book about sex & co subjects. Clearly, she doesn't think CSAM is something that the ethicality can be decided by the reader themselves, so then why not actually try and comprehend how pornography acts in our society?
BTW, being against the porn industry and therefore its product does not mean someone denounces sex or erotic/sensual art.

I am running low on character limit, so the rest of the review is in the comments.

[Dulce · Rating 2 out of 5]

siento que es un libro muy importante para cierta audiencia, pero no fue para mi y se me hizo pesado de leer.

[Aria Harlow · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book really quickly, it is well written in a informative manner without making it seem like it is preaching or like a textbook, which I think is imperative for the teen market. Every question I would have had in my teens, and more, were answered in this book. It is a great read for teenagers and I wish I had this book when I was a teen and to be far it helped me with certain things even now. I will definitely recommend and get a physical copy.

[Joshua · Rating 4 out of 5]

Milly Evans has single handedly written one of the best sexual education books ever written. A book that I could've done with owning ten years ago, and one that if it were up to me, would exist in every teenager's collection.

Having grown up in the early two-thousands, a time where sexual liberation was on the uprise but still facing challenges, and many parents were becoming more liberal yet in a stronghold of their conservative sexual condition, sexual education was ultimately a complete void. Of course, Primary School would dish out the traditional cliche of 'when a man and a woman love each other very much' -- insert wheeling out the big TV trolley for a video of a man inserting a penis into a vagina -- but, frankly, I think that captures everything problematic with sexual education at the time.

Honest is the very book many of us needed back then. It covers a brilliant range of topics, from keeping your sexual anatomy happy and heathy, to sexuality, gender identity, and mental health surrounding society's normative tendencies. We live in a society that is underpinned by a lot of socialist values where people should be allowed to be whoever they want. Milly Evans has taken that attitude in stride of every page of this book, and continually brings us back to earth with her own human experiences in each matter.

For what it's worth, this book is entirely attitudal. You wont find anything about exploring your own tastes in pleasure, or any at-length discussions on the literal acts, but I feel this is Evans being self aware and understanding there is a place and a time. There are plenty of books you can read about different kinds of things to extend your sexual education - and after reading this, I implore you to do so.

If you're a parent for a teenager, buy it now. Like, right now. You heard me.

[Alice · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of imagine the impact if this book was given out for free in all schools!! I truly think the world would be a better place!

This book is absolutely fabulous and the book I wish I had at 12 or even much later would have been so helpful and probably saved me from quite a few situations. I'm 100% going to recommend this to as many teens as possible. Sex Education is so vital and I would recommend this book even to some people in their twenties, who still haven't got the memo. I wish the book wasn't as Pink as much as it sucks to say Toxic Masculinity is a thing. Too many men will be too caught up in toxic masculinity to pick this book up because it looks too "feminine", it sucks to say bu unfortunately market research has shown it to be true. Plus the men who are caught up in this need it more! Even parents I bet will buy this book more subconscious for their daughters because of the pink! I know a few men who need this information so much but if I hand it to them they will turn their noise up at 🤦

Having dated Men in their twenties who still don't know what a period ,STI's or contraception are, I cannot scream how much educating your sons are so important and neglected so much. The responsibility of contraception is often placed on the women and I'm so sick of it.

I would absolutely love it if Milly could make a book on Sex Education aimed purely at Young Adults or even more Men. I think Milly has so much potential and I can really see the impact she has already made and will make. A book based purely for Men on how to treat a woman respectfully in relationships !! Please make it. So many idea's, so many more books I truly believe Milly could make and make a huge impact 🙌

[books4chess · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have conflicting thoughts. The book is like someone hand holding you through Mind the Gap by Dr Karen Gurney and the Vagina Bible by Dr Jen Gunter.

It's not a surprise, given the youth of the author - she knows how to target a new audience who quite frankly have needed this access for a while and even older readers could benefit taking a glance to check they know everything.

That said. Health and body books from an unqualified professional, given the rife issues of misinformation on Tik Tok that already exist, opens a door to further accidental spreads. I like the content, I'm not sure though whether traditional publishers endorsing it isn't a slippery slope that could end in more harm than good.

[larrio · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow, those 300 pages did more for my sex ed than any teacher or lesson in a decade of schooling ever did ...
It's a fun and easy read, very inclusive and covers many different and important topics from sex, to relationships, mental health, LGBTQIA+, social media and everything good and bad inbetween. I truly wish I had such a book growing up!
I only would have used a different font for the interviews as it's very thin/light and a bit difficult to read!

[CEON CEON · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad this book exists. That young people have the opportunity to pick up this book and have a safe, informative and inclusive sex education unlike anything I received in my youth (which was nothing). Thank you so much to Milly Evans, their teachings are so important. This book was well written and easy to digest.

[Harriet]

I'm not the target audience for this book, but I read it because I am a teacher and wanted to get examples of how to talk about certain topics in a more accessible and easy-to-understand way. It helped me do exactly that, and I think it was a great overview of a number of different topics within relationships and sex education.

[L.C. Wolff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Packed with essential, upfront information. Very inclusive written and therefore possibly the first sex ed book I've read that covers a lot of inclusive topics. The consent section was my fave and I'm glad this book discusses deeper matters too.

[charlie · Rating 2 out of 5]

dnf lol. honestly i thought this book was just very surface level of like oh be careful about pregnancy and stds and it felt like the things that actually were interesting and not normal information were barley talked about. yeah idk. sorry milly evan’s i’m sure you’re nice.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every question I would have had when I was a teenager, and more, were answered in this book. I wish I had this book when I was a teenager, it even helped me with certain things even now.

[Lucy Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative read.
For younger readers/late teens but definitely a must read filled with so much information that can help you in life

[jagoda! · Rating 3 out of 5]

quite slow-paced for me but maybe that was because i feel it was aimed at a younger, teen audience and spoke about topics i already knew a great deal about. great for teens and people just starting to learn about sex education though!

[charlie wills · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not usually my type of book but it was nice to have a book like this that gives realistic and truthful answers to some awkward questions

[Kat Todd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely targeted for teens or preteens as I didn't find any of the information new, but it is a good overview and includes good information for those that are lgbtq+

[Morgan · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was an interesting book but I had thought it would be more informational than it was. It seemed quite surface level, which is good but I thought more depth would be interesting.

[Gabby · Rating 4 out of 5]

very helpful ngl

[avis03 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Sex Ed from an AuDHD Educator

[lucy, she-her · Rating 4 out of 5]

ok! so i’ve been wanting to read this book for ages and i’m so glad i finally did. i love adult/teen sex ed books - as someone who received barely any sex ed myself, i find it healing to read the things i should’ve learnt, and to find out what kids are being taught nowadays.
this book was written recently enough that it is highly relevant, inclusive, and the information given is correct. i’m pretty sure i even learnt some stuff.
i still have a few notes though.

- there was poor punctuation, and some spelling issues which annoyed me
- “women and people with a vulva” you’re nearly there, but not quite. not all women have vulvas, so what you really mean is just “people with a vulva”. it’s very strange to act like you’re trying to be inclusive, because you’re STILL using the word “women” in the wrong way. i don’t see why you wouldn’t just cut it out.
- “boys, men and people with a penis” again - you just mean people with a penis, so why would you not just say that? it’s baffling.
- it explains how to wash and how to check for lumps in male genitalia but not female genitalia or breasts, which i find odd
- again, no mention of breasts at all
- why would you describe being intersex as being “affected”? affected by what?
- pineapple on pizza joke in 2022 - automatic sin
- i appreciated the part about asexuality - it went really in-depth and the author is clearly well-educated, which is refreshing
- the bit about consent was well written
- i don’t like the phrase “non-consent” or “non-consensual sex”. it’s called rape. but the section regarding rape is good
- the friend zone and peer pressure bits were good
- all the sti stuff and the stuff regarding contraception was really good. i appreciated the bit about how it was tested on enslaved people
- i feel like having a wank over someone else is definitely cheating i’m sorry
- i’m SO sorry how the hell do you fit a body spray inside yourself 😭😭😭
- i like how she went “don’t do this, but you’re going to do it anyway, so do it safely”. it’s the realistic and necessary attitude to take with teenagers.
- i like how she interviewed her parents - shows their genuine sex positivity
- the bit about how to recognise abuse and unhealthy relationships was good!
- the sexuality and gender stuff was explained simply but comprehensively, which is rare. i can’t find anything inherently incorrect about it. the advice on coming out was also good - safety first, you don’t have to, and not “i love you in spite of coming out” but “i love you because this is you”.
- “biphobia, lesbophobia, transphobia and discrimination against asexual people” bro so close 😭😭 say “acephobia” it’s one google search away
- again, the gender chapter is great. simply explained but includes neopronouns, the fact that pronouns ≠ gender, expression ≠ identity, gender ≠ sex - basically covers all bases.
- the explanation of how it makes sense to discuss gender inequality using binary terms, because it’s a societal phenomenon and that’s how society perceives gender, makes a brilliant point
- perhaps the first book that tackles e-safety in a non-condescending way. it acknowledges that children know more than teachers in this respect. i really appreciate that
- again, the addition that social media isn’t some new cause of bullying/peer pressure but just an extension of what already happens - really appreciated. you will not reach kids by patronising them. this is the way to go.
- misspelled “dyeing” hair as “dying”
- the section on mental health was not condescending which is refreshing as hell, and the part about self esteem was enlightening
- i was hoping they’d mention body neutrality and they did!

generally, this is a great book that i will hopefully be able to give to my kids, with maybe a couple of annotations if some of the information is no longer correct by that point. it covers pretty much everything, and it does it well.