The Baby Owner's Starter Kit: Includes: The Baby Owner's Manual, Growth Chart and Stickers, Instructional Poster, Babysitter's Memo Pad, Magnet, Keepsake Box

Owner’s/Instruction Manuals #1

by Joe Borgenicht, Joe Borgenicht D.A.D.

The Baby Owner's Starter Kit includes:
 
     •   The Baby Owner's Manual
     •  Growth Chart, with stickers for marking baby's progress
     •  Diaper Changing Instructional Poster
     •  Babysitter's Memo Pad
     •  Decorative magnet

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Humor, Reference, Self Help, Childrens, Family

224 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2003

About the author

Joe Borgenicht is an internationally recognized writer and entrepreneur who, at the age of 48, finally feels like he knows enough to say something of value.

Reviews

[Anton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This seems like a silly joke book at first, but it's actually useful. I think most people who said it was 'awful' or 'unhelpful' either don't have a sense of humor or completely missed the point. I'm not sure what people are looking for in baby books, but this one has pretty much all the basics: how to hold, how to bathe, how to swaddle, feed, etc. If new parents are looking for something deeper like 'how to make baby a highly moral being' or 'how to teach my baby to read in five languages before the age of one', then yeah, this book is probably not going to be helpful.
Moreover, this is the first baby book that actually gave me any confidence that I can take care of the child by putting everything in very straightforward terms and giving simple instructions. For some reason, I find this highly objective language quite reassuring. And yes, the book also pretty funny.

[Michelle Pegler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall a good book for new parents to understand all the basics of caring for babies. I took a star off my rating because of the wish-washy answer the book gives in the FAQ about immunizations. Publications need to stop making it seem acceptable to not immunize babies in modern society!

[Matt Quann · Rating 4 out of 5]

With a baby on the way, I thought I might be able to skip most baby manuals because I'm just a couple years short of being a paediatrician. As the bottles, swaddles, wraps, carseats, and cloth diapers started to show up on our doorstep I realized that there might be some practical aspects of baby maintenance with which I might not be familiar. So I found myself stuck between not wanting to retread ground I'd thoroughly walked over and avoiding some of the non-evidence based nonsense that's out there in the baby publishing world. Luckily, a staff paediatrician at my institution recommended this humorous and to the point guide written by a father-son paediatrician duo.

I loved the format of an instructional manual for a baby written as if they were a new appliance. Borgenicht uses the conceit to comedic effect while also putting the mundane aspects of newborn care into perspective. I think the authors do a great job to highlighting what's normal, what's not, and what needs medical attention. Admittedly, I glossed over the medical conditions, CPR, and normal development sections of the book because, well, it's my job to know that stuff! From what I read the book does a good lay explanation of many common and more serious medical conditions.

What really did it for me was the practical aspects of quotidian baby care. You want to know how to sterilize your bottles? How about helpful charts to document feeds, diaper changes, and weight gain? Maybe you just need to figure out the best way to clothe your babe or need a tutorial on how to turn the thing that looks like a scarf into a baby carrying device? No worries, the Borgenichts got you. They also have some funny and useful infographics that make the book a hit.

My sole complaint, which is really more of a temporal issues, is that the book will likely serve more as a reference guide than it does a read and acquire knowledge text. So, I'm going to save that last star until I've put some of the stuff outlined here to good use. But if you're a new parent looking for an evidence-based guide to newborn to first year care, you're unlikely to find something as concise, easy to read, and funny as this one.

[Johnny G. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, taking all the advice in the book at its word, I thought it was very helpful. Can't say yet because my "model" (baby) won't be in stock until May. I am keeping this book in my library (garage) as a reference in case I need to help my baby when he comes along. There were lots of things I learned, like how to change a diaper on a boy and what to look for as far as signs from the baby as he matures and so forth. A lot of the information I already knew but I still found it comforting that I did know a few things beforehand and this book verified that.

[Banshee · Rating 3 out of 5]

When reviewing this book, it's important for me to discuss separately the form and the content, because I would give these two parts very different ratings, and the final rating is the average of the two.

The form was simply brilliant. Both me and my husband work with software. Even better, one of my everyday tasks is preparing guides for a rather complex solution. So when I saw this book while pregnant, I thought I hit a jackpot. A book about taking care of a baby written as a device guide? That's just perfect. The idea and its execution were simply awesome and reading was a lot of fun.

But then my "model" ended up being delivered early and I didn't manage to finish the book before undertaking the challenge. If I finished earlier, maybe it would have brought more value. As it was, I ended up gathering more knowledge about taking care of a baby during my week-long stay in the hospital (from the nurses and from the many, many articles on the internet) than from this book. The information included here was very basic, limited and at times somewhat dated. Moreover, some things were American-specific and not that useful for us in other countries (such as obsession with swaddling and hiding firearms as part of childproofing the house).

All in all, I would recommend reading this book for fun but not so much, if one really needs to learn about infant care.

[Angela Holtz · Rating 5 out of 5]

From Lilac Wolf and Stuff

This is so funny! It really does have useful information, but I'm a mom twice over, so nothing in it was news to me. If I were to gift this to someone, it would be the dad-to-be.

As funny as it is, the graphics catch your eye and the information is laid out in a logical manner. It literally is an instruction book about babies. I think it would take out some of the mystery that usually scares guy silly.

One of the first things covered is "The Baby: Diagram and Parts List" and it goes on to talk about the head, hair, fontanels, eyes, etc. Just a quick description, but enough to let someone know what's coming. The only thing missing is the fact that they may lactate. Both my boys lactated a few days after birth. Totally weirded me out, thank GOD for Google! lol

But there are pictures, information, and lots of to-dos to prepare for the baby, how to hold the baby, how to feed the baby. You get the idea. I love that they call the pediatricians "service providers" and parents "users."

Best advice "Trust your own instincts and intuition." Yes, I really do think this is a good baby book...I mean Owner's Manual.

[Sundial · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book provides the basic foundations of things you’ll need to know in the first year (at least that’s what I think without having patented a newborn just yet). Hopefully it will be a good resource for me to turn back to for refreshers in times of need.

I think the book’s theme of it being a humorous alternative, is the main issue at times. There are moments in the book where the passage will say something serious with their themed language such as, “…please take the child unit to see the service provider.” And I’m left questioning, who is the service provided in this given context?

And something that bothered me that I don’t really have the words for, is the graphics/diagrams they used for children. Almost every time they show a blueprint or outline of the baby, it’s a baby with a penis. Because I spotted this early on, I made sure to count how many babies are shown with a vagina in all 200+ pages: one. I think this furthers a normalization/sexualization binary. There may be a better way to phrase this, but that’s how I’m articulating this thought now.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun, concise, and irreverent how-to book for new parents. Ex. "Frequent play time will benefit all models. It serves a trifold purpose: it makes the baby happy, can activate sleep mode, and teaches the baby about his relationship with the world." Perfect for the dad whose yack reflex is activated by the typical baby book.

[Petra X · Rating 5 out of 5]

The set treats the baby as a computer unit fresh out of the box, complete with a big Quick Start guide. The book is full of good information and all the items are both funny and useful. Its the sort of gift that you will buy time and time again. (I've bought two, so far).

[Oana Sipos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical, funny and to the point advice. Warmly recommended if you want to get the feeling of being more in control before your new inhabitant arrives (cause you actually won't ever be in control :D).

[Shog Al Maskery · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great, enjoyable and fun manual to read! The language used is basic and understandable. The overall experience was more than what I expected

[Samantha | thisbookbelongsto.sw · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a bit of a panic 2 weeks before my due date, I borrowed this book from my library app because I was convinced I knew NOTHING.

This book presented a lot of general information clearly and simply, and I thankfully found myself reassured that I actually already knew quite a bit of this information (to the extent that I could even identify a few outdated pieces of advice).

I'd probably give this 3.5 stars since the infographics were very useful and reassuring, but I'm rounding down to 3 stars because of the reference to "do what you think is best" with regards to immunization. Vaccinate your babies against preventable diseases y'all!

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won’t know how good this information genuinely is until late April, but it seems to match what I vaguely recall from nursing school and was presented in a humorous format, so I’m hoping it will be helpful.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is amazing! It's both fun and incredibly useful.
I'm about to be a parent for the first time, and I don't have much experience with babies. I also didn't find the usual baby books appealing, I don't want that sugary sweetness and rainbows.
This book is very straight forward and no bullshit, it takes you through all the basics you need to know, with step-by-step pictures of how to hold, change a diaper, bathe, swaddle, breastfeeding positions and more. I definitely learned a lot! All written in a tech manual style language, which makes it super fun to learn. This is probably written with the tech-interested dad in mind, but I think it works great for anyone who has the same thoughts as I mentioned above, and also as an autistic person, I found the detailed information very helpful.
This was definitely better than The Pregnancy Instruction Manual: Essential Information, Troubleshooting Tips, and Advice for Parents-to-Be so if you're going to get one of the two, get this one. It will also make a great gift for a parent-to-be!

[Anna Petruk · Rating 4 out of 5]

My husband was looking for a reference book on handling a newborn and picked this one because of its 'instruction manual' style. I decided to read it too.

It's pretty short and easy to read, organized in brief sections, lists, and charts. The illustrations are in color and not very well contrasted, so they were difficult to comprehend on my black-and-white Kindle reader. The book gives a nice overview of a variety of topics like what stuff you need to get for the baby, how to feed it, how to change diapers and clothes, etc.

I know it's a purposeful choice for the sake of humor, but I still found it jarring every time the authors talked about 'owning' and 'using' the baby (which happened in every other sentence).

[Alice Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect! Truly instructive.

[Bliss · Rating 3 out of 5]

Много добро обобщение на важните съвети при отглеждане на бебе. Намалявам с 1 звезда заради несполучливия превод.

[Buster Maclean]

It's pretty basic stuff but laid out in an easily accessible way and has some funny moments. It did point out a few things I overlooked when preparing. No regrets, it'll be passed on to someone else in due time.

[Tassos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super to the point, as any technical manual should be. Besides the funny factor of the book, I also found the information relevant and useful. The information provided was also correct in all the points that I could verify with other sources or with personal experiences. So this book is not just a joke.

[Jaime Dear · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Cat Owner's Manual is a better use of the "novelty infographics" than this, but I did learn baby facts!

[A.B. · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bad advice

This book is full of bad and outdated advice. It is recommended that you expose babies to peanut butter early in their food journey as it may prevent allergies. Never give ibuprofen under 6 months. Babies should not sleep in their car seat if they are congested. It had a very dismissive tone about breastfeeding in public, and advised water for a dehydrated baby! Babies should never have plain water until they are older.
And the suggestions for dealing with sleep and tantrums are very old school and often not recommended anymore. All in all a bad book.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by a friend with two little ones. I really enjoyed it. It provided good information regarding babycare in an entertaining fashion.

The book included information on basic tasks like changing a baby, swaddling, etc.

Parents who resent babies being referred to as if they were electronic devices probably wouldn't enjoy this book.

Those with a sense of humor about parenting may both enjoy this book and find it highly useful.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short and funny, and written with the male mind in mind. Although not overly detailed, it was still comforting, as it breaks down the steps for taking care of a child into easy-to-follow instructions. It is definitely not a "baby bible", but a good starting point.

[Carrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great "new-dad" book. Reads like a car instruction manual and adds humor. FAST and EASY.


Author: Louis and Joe Borgenicht
Publisher: Quirk Books
Copyright: 2003
Genre: Parenting/Childcare
Pages: 217
Date Read- 4/25/09

[Anastasia · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a terrible, terrible take on human development. It is only fit to be a joke and I therefore wouldn't recommend it to any new parent.

[Eastofoz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny. Reads & looks like a car manual --perfect for dads to be ;)

[Mare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simpatičan priručnik koji smo dobili na poklon, a planiram ga i poklanjati :)
Ilustracije su i korisne i blago humoristične. Rado bi da sam ga imala i ranije, jer većina knjiga "o bebama", koje smo pokušali čitati za vrijeme trudnoće, je bila s previše opisa i digresija i bilo je nekad teško naći osnovne informacije o njezi bebe.

Ova knjiga sadrži popise kao što su preporučena oprema za bebu, vrste kolica i nosiljki (tema nosiljki nije baš aktualna), položaji za dojenje, položaji za podrigivanje bebe, što imati u kutiju za prvu pomoć; i u drugom dijelu knjige popis nekih stanja i bolesti bebe, upute za Heimlichov zahvat i umjetno disanje s masažom srca za bebu.

Knjiga je zanimljiv "bazični priručnik", no dosta nedetaljan, pa je očito da će se mladi roditelji posavjetovati i s internetom ili iskusnijim poznanicima. Također, napomena da je ovo izdanje iz 2008. pa ima dosta zastarjelih informacija (npr o nosiljkama za bebe) i preporuka (ako je bebi začepljen nos stavi je da spava u autosjedalici :( ).

Iskreno, do sada me nijedan priručnik oduševio s informacijama, a s ovim sam nekako najzadovoljnija, pa zato 4/5.

[Marianna Sharktooth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Το βιβλίο είναι αυτό ακριβώς που περιγράφει: οδηγίες χρήσης. Βασική εισαγωγή στην περιποίηση ενός μωρού, απευθυνόμενο ίσως περισσότερο σε ανθρώπους άσχετους παντελώς με το σπορ (χωρίς αυτό να είναι αρνητικό). Με χιουμοριστικό τρόπο οι συγγραφείς προσπαθούν να συστήσουν το μωρό ως συσκευή, το οποίο πρέπει να τυγχάνει συγκεκριμένης μεταχείρισης.
Θα πρότεινα να είναι για κάποιον το πρώτο βιβλίο φροντίδας μωρού που διαβάζει, καθώς φέρνει στο προσκήνιο βασικές έννοιες, ώστε εάν μετά ακολουθήσει ανάγνωση άλλου βιβλίου να υπάρχει περισσότερη εξοικείωση.
Προσωπικά διάβασα το βιβλίο αφού είχα διαβάσει και άλλα βιβλία φροντίδας μωρού, και θεωρώ ότι κάποια πράγματα που ίσως θεωρούνται αυτονόητα δεν τα έχω ξαναδεί. Σε αυτό το βιβλίο δεν υπάρχει κάτι αυτονόητο, και για όλα τα υπόλοιπα υπάρχει ο παιδίατρος!

[Michal Hocikto · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve enjoyed the book, particularly the style it’s written in. It offers a lot of useful tips how to handle a newborn. However I must take the star down for it’s alibistic approach to vaccination. What I expected to find there: in order to ensure peak performance of your model, vaccinating is mandatory, otherwise your warranty is void.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great first book when you get a child that covers all the essentials in a fun and illustrative step-making algorithm of most of the common baby ventures. I did not have this book when my baby was born, but I know about it and found it now when he has passed the one-year mark. Looking back, this book is something that I really would have gotten much help from, including tips and tricks that can be helpful over just the basic instructions.

Of course, a book like this does not cover all, but it covers the most and is a pretty quick read.