Everything is Perfect: A Memoir

by Kate Nason

Seven years into her second marriage, Kate Nason discovered her husband was cheating on her. Then, the unimaginable happened. Kate woke to the news that one of her husband’s "other women" was involved with an American president. It was January of 1998. The press surrounded her home, clamoring for details and transformed Kate’s private heartbreak into public humiliation.

Nason’s memoir uncovers the little-known side of a well-known story, unveiling a cautionary tale about the ways we deceive ourselves when we allow ourselves to be deceived by those we love. Everything Is Perfect is an intimate reveal of infidelity, gaslighting, and the silent wife at the press conference. Nason explores the roles women inhabit throughout their lives, how they carry trauma, and the lengths they’ll go to protect their children and save themselves. It's a fierce and often funny self-reckoning, a meditation on learning to trust one’s intuition, and a case study of how one woman undid a bad "I do."

In the tradition of Lisa Brennan Jobs’s Small Fry or Chanel Miller’s Know My Name, Everything is Perfect is a beautifully written, deeply personal, unsparing self-portrait that goes deeper than the familiar news story within.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Audiobook

257 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 25, 2022

About the author

https://www.katenasonwrites.com

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I’m going to pick up a memoir I always choose the audio version, and it’s always a bonus for me if the author narrates the book themselves. There’s something so intimate about hearing someone’s story in both their own words and their own voice that just never fails to reel me in. The author did a great job with her narration here, I found her voice easy to listen to and her emotions were portrayed in a raw way. Her story is powerful and engaging, she really nailed sharing the experience of being married to someone who is a pro gaslighter and what an emotional toll it took on her and her family. I was very interested in her life, she had quite the story to tell as she was betrayed in the worst way imaginable. This isn’t a pity party woe is me tale but rather a story of strength and resilience that was inspiring. One small thing I didn’t quite understand was why she used pseudonyms, everyone knows who the real players are so that seemed silly but overall a great listen.

[Lisa Ellison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Kate Nason at the Writer’s Hotel Conference in NYC in 2018. At the time, people were captivated by her story and wanted to know more. Myself included.

If you ever wondered why women stay with narcissistic partners, have I got the book recommendation for you.

I listened to Kate’s audiobook while I was traveling to and from HippoCamp. I was immediately hooked by her story. Even though I knew Charlie’s bad behavior was going to create some major catastrophes, she writes him so seductively that I fell in love with her early descriptions of him. Then she kept me hooked with all the ways he gas lit the narrator and all the way the narrator gaslit herself in an attempt to keep per promise: 2 marriages okay, 2 divorces no way.

While we eventually see Charlie’s bad behavior for what it is, Kate doesn’t let the narrator off the hook. She explores her own motives, the way the past informed her choices, and the problems we create for ourselves when we ignore our intuition.

There are so many great things I can say about Kate’s work, but I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the quality of the writing. Her gripping scenes about the narrator’s brutal rape, her moments of grace, the godforsaken Portland rain, and the triumphant moment when she destroys her sinister Frigidaire Flare will have you feeling all the feels. She nails her emotional beats, and the seeds she plants early on bear very satisfying fruit later hit her story. I did a little happy dance as I cheered my way through her ending which is simultaneously uplifting and so artfully done.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished listening to Everything is Perfect and I can’t stop thinking about it. Setting the political scandal aside, this is a book that every woman who has been lied to by an unfaithful partner should read. Let’s face it, it describes an (unfortunately) near-universal experience. Though Nason’s private heartbreak became fodder for the tabloids (which seems like the universe just piling on when it occurs in her narrative) Nason’s struggle to live through the experience and come out of it whole, is extraordinary.

Even if you are not partial to Nason’s specific sources of comfort and advice (the poet Rumi is one) or the tools she employs to express anger constructively (broken dishes anyone?) you will absolutely relate to her goal — to keep herself sane, and her children safe and out of the spotlight. (Particularly hilarious is her use of Groucho Marx nose-and-glasses as shields against the press.)

Lying is so insidious, and Nason highlights the ways in which it can break down self-esteem. The lies, coming on the heels of a horrific assault, could threaten the sanity of the strongest woman. Kate Nason tells the story of her world falling apart — and the spectacular circumstances in which it did so — with an eye not to bemoaning her fate or cashing in on scandal, but rather to learning something.

I should also add that this is among the most beautifully written memoirs I’ve ever read. In fact, it’s downright poetic. Three cheers (and five stars) for a woman who has spun her misery into a beautiful, helpful, kind memoir.

[Janaki Kuruppu · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was curious about this title, and had a lot of Audible credits to use up, so I tried this. I sympathize with the trials that this author has survived - clearly her story hits a chord with quite a few reviewers (at least on the Audible site). But, I'm in the camp who found the writing long and repetitive, overly sprinkled with flowery and cliched adjectives.

I generally find memoirs read by the author to add an extra element of interest to the story, since the reader is telling their own story, but in this case, this author has a strangely stilted reading style. Thanks to other reviews, I sped up the pace to 1.5 which made it bearable to get to the end. I stuck with it, to see if it got interesting, but it just plodded on, without ever revealing anything other than hackneyed advice to read Rumi, learn Tarot and meditation (not a logical pairing in my mind), along with numerology, and develop a gratitude practice.

I also found the use of pseudonyms for the easily recognizable real-life characters pointless.

In all, I do not recommend this book...I only managed to push through because I had 6 hours on a train.

[Allison Cole · Rating 5 out of 5]

beautifully written

As women, we are conditioned to behave and mistrust our own voices. I hope more women like Ms Nason share their stories so we can all raise the next generation of young people to never quiet that inner voice. Our intuition is a gift and a light we should never dim. Thank you.

[wrkatreading · Rating 3 out of 5]

just 3 ⭐️

Can’t go more than 3 stars. I hate reading about a doormat wife. I’m glad she finally got her life on track. As far as “Mallory”/ Monica, I have 0 symphony for her poor young girl being manipulated by a man in power defense.

[Amelia McCoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, if you plan on reading this just buckle up for a wild ride.

So much to digest, but so well written I could not stop reading. Kate wrote her story well. Even her toughest experiences were written in ways that as a reader I felt I was learning from them as well.

[Velvet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the story but the authors writing style was not necessarily my cup of tea (hence the three stars). It was a little too flowery, or poetic maybe, for me.

It was interesting learning about her experience though and I can’t imagine what that would have been like to go through.

Why can’t people who can’t stay monogamous, just not get married? I really don’t understand the concept of promising to be faithful to someone and then turning around and being unfaithful. Don’t do someone dirty like that. Incredibly disrespectful and uncaring and I’m glad she was able to find her own path, free of her adultering husband.

[Elisabeth Brookshire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite a fortuitous find

I lived through the Lewinsky scandal as a young college student and although the story was one I couldn't escape, it really didn't hold my interest. The fact that the weak man chasing a chubby chick was our President was lost on me. So much so, I never even knew about her "Oregon Connection". Now that I've lived some life, I found myself fascinated with this peripheral yet amazing story. The book is so well scripted and I'm so glad the author waited so long to write it. What's weird and of no concern to anyone else, I've been searching numbers for meaning for a few months now. I'm not sure what the message is but was amazed to read about it in this book I picked up totally by random. A fascinating read that I would highly recommend.

[Candi Sary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This intimate memoir tells the story of a woman faced with her husband’s infidelity. What makes it so unique is that her husband’s mistress is the same woman having an affair with the U.S. president. It’s a fascinating read, showing such a personal side of the national story we all remember. Nason writes with both vulnerability and strength, and I admire her courage in telling her story.

[Lorri Stanton · Rating 5 out of 5]

You Go Girl!!

Wow, what a read. To come through such a horrible time in your marriage and then to have it become a national headline, takes one strong lady, what a nightmare! Affairs are such a selfish, ugly human act that devastates so many others along the way. So happy your life is fulfilling, you deserve it!

[Terri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything is Perfect

This memoir is very well written. I can’t figure out why she married this guy to begin with, but I do not judge. This lady poured her heart into this book. She has my utmost respect.

[Christina O’Connor · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 ⭐️

Be sure to listen to this memoir on audio 🎧

[Kimberly Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed her writing style. It kept me interested. It makes me feel bad for her over what happened to her but I don't think she would want pity, because she seems like a very strong woman and I greatly respect her.

[Charity · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t imagine what it would he like for a person to lay out her pain in such a complete and bare way. But Kate Nason has. This book was painful, uncomfortable and beautiful all at the same time.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was riveting and I would definitely reread it. Kate is a beautiful writer and a strong woman. She is also quite funny and talented. Among other things, she survived a public media scandal involving Mallory and the president and her then husband. I loved her incorporation of spirituality. I loved how she broke dishes, and her friendship with Marina is divine. This book is a winner from start to finish. And I saved the Rumi poem that she sent in her Christmas card. By the end. I felt like she was a friend. Thank you, Kate!

[jill silverman · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW she describes the whole thing perfectly...that little feeling one has that things are not right. Had no idea what was going to happen in this very well written story but it enfolds ever so perfectly. She describes the "gaslighting" so well. Definitely worth reading about this strong woman who perservered to come out the other side of a life sucking situation.

[Melanie Hale · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no idea...

I had no idea of this was going on too when the Clinton debacle with his intern went down. That would be an absolute nightmare being plunged into a nationwide scandal through no fault of your own. I couldn't put this one down. Her writing is excellent. You could feel the the events she was describing. I love books like that, that the writer can make you experience the scenario just with their words. She's been through a tremendous amount of trauma and I'm sure it took a lot to write this. When you're done the book, you might look at the people around you a little differently, just wondering "could they do this to ME!?!" I do not know what is wrong with Charlie that he could do these things over and over, looking at his family and knowing what he would do to them. I could understand once being a mistake, but this guy has issues. I'm highly, highly skeptical that this affair with the student did not start IN high school. The author, made it seem like it did, but articles I just read made it to be after high school. I could be wrong in my interpretation from the book, but it makes me wonder why he wasn't investigated, and why his current school welcomed him back with such vigor. That's insane. This stuff happens all the time and then when someone gets hurt there is wringing of the hands, and "if only we knew." Perhaps it was just different times then now. But I would not want a man like this teaching MY kids. The husband is such a disappointment as a human being. Without giving too much away, he seemed like an absolute dream come true. I would have struggled with that one too, he seemed too perfect. But you can't live your life in fear that everyone in the end is too good to be true and they're only going to ruin your life. You might really miss a gem of a friend or partner. I hope Mr third husband doesn't turn out to be a villain too. This woman needs peace. This book will stay with me for a while.

[Cassi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy shit. This book. I had no idea about this side of the story. Honestly, it’s a super engaging read. If anyone wants another reason to despise men (as if we needed another) this is a good one.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir popped up on my Audible suggestions. I am generally not one for sensationalized stories but I had to know who this woman was that unwillingly got thrust into the biggest presidential scandal since Nixon. Kate Nason was the narrator of her own book and while I think that was the right choice there were times the inflection in her voice, or the unnecessary pauses became irritating. That being said, I did feel huge amounts of sympathy for this woman. She was cheated on the entirety of her second marriage and even after her husband was caught and admitted to two affairs, he did it again, in their home with the live in nanny. The husband is nothing more than a narcissist creep who will never change. I’m glad Kate found her happy ending finally.

[Kay · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was thoroughly enjoying this book up until the half way mark. I applaud those who can write a memoir and speak their truth regardless of whether or not it’s flattering however I personally cannot continue to read a book where an intelligent, self sufficient woman ignores the red flags and when faced with the truth, ignores it and makes excuses.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read

This was a very good, easy read! It was interesting to hear a different side of the Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton story. Told from someone who was just a normal person leading a normal life until it was front page news!!

[Tracy Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no idea of the scandal detailed in this memoir when I started. But reviews mentioned well written and that it is.

I read a lot of memoirs. Few are exceptional (well written, compelling story) but ‘Everything is Perfect’ is.

[Annette · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very disappointing.

[Jordan]

The audacity of that man.

[George Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate Nason's autobiography is gently paced, clear, and honest. Her experiences with her first and second husbands are told sincerely and with perspective that time gives.

She presents magical thinking when she is suffering, from interpreting poetry to suit her situation, to reading numbers on a clock as having meaning, to her mantra, Mary, Mary, Mary. But she also sought psychological and marriage help from professionals. And when all that was lacking, she threw ceramics against a wall to relieve her stresses. Some reviewers think this weakens the book, but I think it was her way to cope, and it worked, and that's what matters.

Others wonder why she has chosen to give pseudonyms to her tormentors. I think that too is a wonderful coping device. By calling them by other names she gives them no more publicity, and, I believe, psychologically, she can focus on their behaviour, not on them as persons who savaged her life.

And the stresses she went through, from rape when nine months pregnant, to betrayal by her second husband from before their marriage to its very end, to hounding by the press, brought on by a direct choice by President Clinton to direct that press to Monica Lewinsky's past sexual life, which included Nason's viciously dishonest second husband.... Those stresses were incredible.

Happily, Nason was supported by many friends and family, and she survived. She was a mother of two children, and they came first, and, I believe, focused her to survive.

This autobiography is just brilliant. Though it has not found much of an audience, it is valuable because it shows human nature at its worst, and best. It reveals so well this age we live in. I hope THIS work gets bolted to the side of an intergalactic probe so the true history of what it means to be human will be preserved for the distant future!

It is in gems like this book, a story told by someone who lived it, and told so well, that we can experience the reality of a life lived. That is a great achievement.

Thank you, Ms Nason, for giving us your life straight and true. Grace is as rare as courage and you have both.

[Amy Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nason tells an amazing memoir in Everything Is Perfect. I haven't heard or read work from this author before, and I really enjoyed it. This book gives a lot of information about her life, especially around her husband, who was a cheater. She was married to a man who had a lot of "other women" and one day, because of one woman, her heartbreak went public. I like that Nason narrates her own story. She is a strong woman, and find out how to keep herself together. I like how she dives into the roles of women and their roles. I really liked how she told the story, and was able to bring the story together. Her story and commentary, and how at first she ignored her own intuition. Nason has a bravery and courage that can't be measured by not just sharing the story, but telling it in her own voice, which makes it so real, and compelling. It's also about survival, and overcoming obstacles, especially by her husband. I recommend listening to it from beginning to end, including the author note, and epilogue. It's a long listen, but it is definitely worth it. Everything Is Perfect is a definite recommendation by Amy's Bookshelf Reviews. I look forward to reading or listening many more stories by this author.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the Kindle ARC in exchange for an honest review. Kate Nason's memoir, Everything is Perfect, is a sad but true story of betrayal in a marriage. Kate was married and divorced in her early 20s and swore that she would never marry again. She is a single mom of one young daughter, living in L.A. after a personal tragedy. She meets Charlie who asks her 10 times to marry him. She loves him and his company and he seems to feel the same way. She tells herself: twice married is ok, twice divorced is not ok. She resists as long as she can and eventually marries Charlie. Her misgivings haunt her as she suspects Charlie is having an affair or multiple affairs, which is turns out he was. Ms. Nason's writing is so strong on the subject of betrayal - and I'm writing as a person who knows. Not only does her husband cheat but it turns out one of the women he was cheating with also had an affair with the President of the United States later down the line. She describes what goes through her mind with suspicions and facts, all while her husband gaslights her.
It's heartbreaking to read but also very compelling and honest.

[Kate Connors · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything is Perfect
My interest in Kate Nasen’s memoir was driven by my fascination with the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal. In 1997, Kate found out her then-husband Andy Bleiler was having two affairs. One was with a coworker, and the other was with a former student named Monica Lewinsky.

It’s interesting because Kate uses fake names for all the individuals in this book - “Charlie” is Andy for example. That’s confused me a bit at first, but I suppose it was for legal reasons. Kate does the actual narration, and she’s a fantastic narrator.

The memoir itself is an exploration of one woman’s life and how Charlie/Andy was able to gaslight and lie to her. She does a great exploring her own choices and telling a painful story. She also delves into how depression was handled in the 1990s - Her doctor was quick to dismiss therapy and prescribe pills. It’s amazing to see how far the acceptance of therapy has come since then and how much more open people are about depression.

[Janilyn Kocher · Rating 4 out of 5]

How did I miss this? Nason was married to a scumbag that had an affair with the intern who had an affair with the president in the last 90s. I guess I missed that angle of the story, when it was all coming out.
Nason put up with so much prior to the revelation. The affair went on for 5 years and the intern was not the innocent she tried to portray.
The author doesn’t use the intern’s real name or her husband’s which I found confusing and asking why not?? It’s not like it was a state secret.
I had to Google it to get clarification.
What a nightmare for the author who survived. The intern eventually wrote her an apology letter, but interspersed it with things she was unhappy that Nason had said and done and Nason forgave her because the intern was young. I say BS on that.
Thanks to,the publisher and NetGalley for the advance copy.