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Ill Will
An alternative cover edition for this ASIN can be found here.
“We are always telling a story to ourselves, about ourselves.” This is one of the little mantras Dustin Tillman likes to share with his patients, and it’s meant to be reassuring. But what if that story is a lie?
A psychologist in suburban Cleveland, Dustin is drifting through his forties when he hears the news: His adopted brother, Rusty, is being released from prison. Thirty years ago, Rusty received a life sentence for the massacre of Dustin’s parents, aunt and uncle. The trial came to epitomise the 1980s hysteria over Satanic cults; despite the lack of physical evidence, the jury believed the outlandish accusations Dustin and his cousin made against Rusty. Now, after DNA analysis has overturned the conviction, Dustin braces for a reckoning.
Meanwhile, one of Dustin’s patients has been plying him with stories of the drowning deaths of a string of drunk college boys. At first Dustin dismisses his patient's suggestions that a serial killer is at work as paranoid thinking, but as the two embark on an amateur investigation, Dustin starts to believe that there’s more to the deaths than coincidence. Soon he becomes obsessed, crossing all professional boundaries—and putting his own family in harm’s way.
From one of today’s most renowned practitioners of literary suspense, Ill Will is an intimate thriller about the failures of memory and the perils of self-deception. In Dan Chaon’s nimble, chilling prose, the past looms over the present, turning each into a haunted place.
“We are always telling a story to ourselves, about ourselves.” This is one of the little mantras Dustin Tillman likes to share with his patients, and it’s meant to be reassuring. But what if that story is a lie?
A psychologist in suburban Cleveland, Dustin is drifting through his forties when he hears the news: His adopted brother, Rusty, is being released from prison. Thirty years ago, Rusty received a life sentence for the massacre of Dustin’s parents, aunt and uncle. The trial came to epitomise the 1980s hysteria over Satanic cults; despite the lack of physical evidence, the jury believed the outlandish accusations Dustin and his cousin made against Rusty. Now, after DNA analysis has overturned the conviction, Dustin braces for a reckoning.
Meanwhile, one of Dustin’s patients has been plying him with stories of the drowning deaths of a string of drunk college boys. At first Dustin dismisses his patient's suggestions that a serial killer is at work as paranoid thinking, but as the two embark on an amateur investigation, Dustin starts to believe that there’s more to the deaths than coincidence. Soon he becomes obsessed, crossing all professional boundaries—and putting his own family in harm’s way.
From one of today’s most renowned practitioners of literary suspense, Ill Will is an intimate thriller about the failures of memory and the perils of self-deception. In Dan Chaon’s nimble, chilling prose, the past looms over the present, turning each into a haunted place.
498 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 7, 2017
1624 people are currently reading
16805 people want to read
About the author
Dan Chaon
47 books1,496 followersDan Chaon is the author of Among the Missing, which was a finalist for the National Book Award and You Remind Me of Me, which was named one of the best books of the year by The Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, San Francisco Chronicle, The Christian Science Monitor, and Entertainment Weekly, among other publications. Chaon’s fiction has appeared in many journals and anthologies, including Best American Short Stories, The Pushcart Prize, and The O. Henry Prize Stories. He has been a finalist for the National Magazine Award in Fiction, and he was the recipient of the 2006 Academy Award in Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters. Chaon lives in Cleveland, Ohio, and teaches at Oberlin College, where he is the Pauline M. Delaney Professor of Creative Writing. His new novel, Await Your Reply, will be published in late August 2009.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,077 reviews
March 7, 2017
Out today. Felt it a good idea to renew my warnings!
First and foremost, a large thank you to NetGalley, Dan Chaon, and Random House Publishing Group-Ballantine for providing me with a copy of this book, which allows me to provide you with an unbiased review.
In my first attempt to decipher the writing (ramblings?) of Dan Chaon, I was left with a bitter taste I am unable to mask. This novel, set in both the early 1980s and 2012-14 tells of two sets of unsolved murders, which sounds interesting enough. The first centres around a young Dustin Tillman, who spends much of his time with his cousins and adopted older brother, Rusty. Being much younger than the other three, Dustin is not privy to their drinking, drug-addled states, or promiscuity as they explore one another. He is, however, able to see an odd nature in Rusty, whose previous foster placement ended when the house caught on fire and the entire family died. Recounting events that include Satanic Worship (an apparent buzz word in the early 80s), Dustin lays the groundwork for horrific possibilities. On the morning before a family trip, the youths discover that their parents have all been murdered, though the killer is not immediately apparent. Chaon has the reader meander through the story to learn that Dustin did, eventually, testify against Rusty, who was sentenced to thirty years in jail for the crime. Fast-forwarding to a more present time, Dustin is now a psychotherapist who has done some work with Satanic worship, but was eventually drummed out of that and now does some run-of-the-mill hypnosis and projection exercises. When a patient brings an elaborate theory about a serial killer who chooses young men as his victims, Dustin cannot help but scoff. But, the more they talk, the more the idea germinates and soon Dustin is out on the road trying to piece it all together. Dustin's wife and two sons are left to wonder and go through their own tribulations, as the reader witnesses the evaporation of the family unit due to illness and drugs. With these two narratives running parallel, the reader is forced to make sense of what is going on, though there is little of a sensical nature. The premise is there, but the delivery, as strong as an over-boiled noodle. Beware readers who get caught up in the dust jacket summary, as I did. You are in for a flop!
I have always found author first impressions to be very important. If I cannot find a groove with an author after reading one of their books, I am usually leery to give them a second chance. This book has left me so confused with its lacklustre delivery that I am forced to question if Chaon's past literary awards were delivered in error. As I mentioned above, the premise is sound, or at least it could be. Two narratives telling of two sets of crimes; a protagonist who lives through both sets of crimes at different points in his life; the struggle to determine if that past accusation was an error and who might have committed the crime. All in all, Chaon is sitting on a potential thriller goldmine. He creates some interesting characters and surrounds them with a few plausible scenarios. But then, he pulls out all the stops to ruin a good thing. Paragraphs and chapters that end in the middle of a sen (note: purposefully done to prove a point), chapters that appear as columns on the page with each stretching over four or five flips (in which the reader must then return back the pages to begin the next column), transition between 1983 and 2012-14 between parts of the book, but not flowing seamlessly. One might presume that Chaon used his past acolytes to publish this, knowing that his reputation would allow sales to skyrocket (the James Patterson Syndrome). Some who loved it may troll on this review and comment that if I could do better, why don't I write a book. Alas, I am not being paid to write a book (or for this unbiased review), so I can hold those who do make a living of this to a higher standard. All around, a literary train wreck with toxicity spewing from all sides. Fair warning with flashing lights, bells, and blaring horns. Steer clear and find a better pick!
Oh, Mr. Chaon, one can only hope this was an one-off gaffe. That said, you surely did some literary bed defecation with this one.
Love/hate the review? An ever-growing collection of others appears at:
http://pecheyponderings.wordpress.com/
First and foremost, a large thank you to NetGalley, Dan Chaon, and Random House Publishing Group-Ballantine for providing me with a copy of this book, which allows me to provide you with an unbiased review.
In my first attempt to decipher the writing (ramblings?) of Dan Chaon, I was left with a bitter taste I am unable to mask. This novel, set in both the early 1980s and 2012-14 tells of two sets of unsolved murders, which sounds interesting enough. The first centres around a young Dustin Tillman, who spends much of his time with his cousins and adopted older brother, Rusty. Being much younger than the other three, Dustin is not privy to their drinking, drug-addled states, or promiscuity as they explore one another. He is, however, able to see an odd nature in Rusty, whose previous foster placement ended when the house caught on fire and the entire family died. Recounting events that include Satanic Worship (an apparent buzz word in the early 80s), Dustin lays the groundwork for horrific possibilities. On the morning before a family trip, the youths discover that their parents have all been murdered, though the killer is not immediately apparent. Chaon has the reader meander through the story to learn that Dustin did, eventually, testify against Rusty, who was sentenced to thirty years in jail for the crime. Fast-forwarding to a more present time, Dustin is now a psychotherapist who has done some work with Satanic worship, but was eventually drummed out of that and now does some run-of-the-mill hypnosis and projection exercises. When a patient brings an elaborate theory about a serial killer who chooses young men as his victims, Dustin cannot help but scoff. But, the more they talk, the more the idea germinates and soon Dustin is out on the road trying to piece it all together. Dustin's wife and two sons are left to wonder and go through their own tribulations, as the reader witnesses the evaporation of the family unit due to illness and drugs. With these two narratives running parallel, the reader is forced to make sense of what is going on, though there is little of a sensical nature. The premise is there, but the delivery, as strong as an over-boiled noodle. Beware readers who get caught up in the dust jacket summary, as I did. You are in for a flop!
I have always found author first impressions to be very important. If I cannot find a groove with an author after reading one of their books, I am usually leery to give them a second chance. This book has left me so confused with its lacklustre delivery that I am forced to question if Chaon's past literary awards were delivered in error. As I mentioned above, the premise is sound, or at least it could be. Two narratives telling of two sets of crimes; a protagonist who lives through both sets of crimes at different points in his life; the struggle to determine if that past accusation was an error and who might have committed the crime. All in all, Chaon is sitting on a potential thriller goldmine. He creates some interesting characters and surrounds them with a few plausible scenarios. But then, he pulls out all the stops to ruin a good thing. Paragraphs and chapters that end in the middle of a sen (note: purposefully done to prove a point), chapters that appear as columns on the page with each stretching over four or five flips (in which the reader must then return back the pages to begin the next column), transition between 1983 and 2012-14 between parts of the book, but not flowing seamlessly. One might presume that Chaon used his past acolytes to publish this, knowing that his reputation would allow sales to skyrocket (the James Patterson Syndrome). Some who loved it may troll on this review and comment that if I could do better, why don't I write a book. Alas, I am not being paid to write a book (or for this unbiased review), so I can hold those who do make a living of this to a higher standard. All around, a literary train wreck with toxicity spewing from all sides. Fair warning with flashing lights, bells, and blaring horns. Steer clear and find a better pick!
Oh, Mr. Chaon, one can only hope this was an one-off gaffe. That said, you surely did some literary bed defecation with this one.
Love/hate the review? An ever-growing collection of others appears at:
http://pecheyponderings.wordpress.com/
October 20, 2021
5 "fuck, Fuck, FucK, Triple FUCK" stars !!
7th Favorite Read of 2017 (tie)
This is one of the best noir psychological thrillers that I have ever read !!
Mr. Chaon wrote a novel that was nuanced, psychologically informed, dark and genius but written in a stylized clipped vernacular that makes it accessible to most. He layered grief, trauma, ritualized violence, drug addiction, family dysfunction, neurosis, psychosis, degrees of evil, dissociation, boundary violations and fragmentation in the darkest of Devil's Food cake. Hold on though he also expertly places love, honor, desire, justice and kindness in much smaller colorful sprinkles throughout that most chocolate of frostings.
He moves expertly between past and present and from the viewpoints of six or so characters as they try to understand their lives, their pasts and whether they even have futures. My partner would often tell me to breathe as I was reading as my respiration would become shallow from fear, excitement, revulsion and the strangest of sadnesses. There is so much wickedness in this book and yet you can't help be moved and hope for the best even when you know that annihilation for all these characters is inevitable if not now then in the near future.
I do not want to write about the plot as I want you (if you dare) to gingerly step in, see if you can hold your own perspective or like me within a very short time fall into one of the most fascinating but frightening rabbit holes that has been written about this year !
Bravo Mr. Chaon...you have a new fervent but reluctant FAN !!
7th Favorite Read of 2017 (tie)
This is one of the best noir psychological thrillers that I have ever read !!
Mr. Chaon wrote a novel that was nuanced, psychologically informed, dark and genius but written in a stylized clipped vernacular that makes it accessible to most. He layered grief, trauma, ritualized violence, drug addiction, family dysfunction, neurosis, psychosis, degrees of evil, dissociation, boundary violations and fragmentation in the darkest of Devil's Food cake. Hold on though he also expertly places love, honor, desire, justice and kindness in much smaller colorful sprinkles throughout that most chocolate of frostings.
He moves expertly between past and present and from the viewpoints of six or so characters as they try to understand their lives, their pasts and whether they even have futures. My partner would often tell me to breathe as I was reading as my respiration would become shallow from fear, excitement, revulsion and the strangest of sadnesses. There is so much wickedness in this book and yet you can't help be moved and hope for the best even when you know that annihilation for all these characters is inevitable if not now then in the near future.
I do not want to write about the plot as I want you (if you dare) to gingerly step in, see if you can hold your own perspective or like me within a very short time fall into one of the most fascinating but frightening rabbit holes that has been written about this year !
Bravo Mr. Chaon...you have a new fervent but reluctant FAN !!
February 19, 2017
2.5 stars
I have one word for this book: FRUSTRATING!!!!
I finished this 2 days ago, and the frustration is still strong, probably due to the fact that I still have so many unanswered questions.
The problem wasn't with the storyline, as that held my interest. 2 different murder plots-one taking place in present time, and one that took place back in the 1980's. I was really intrigued with how the past and the present were going to collide.
I think the author did a great job of creating memorable characters as well. I can't say that I liked them all, but I don't think I was supposed too...
Where he lost me was with all the chaotic editing, or lack of. Sentences half finished, (this was prevelant throughout, so I am aware the majority were left this way intentionally) complete words missing, and the worst where chapters that were put into a column format of 3 sections per page. You had to read each section long ways, then go back to read the 2nd column, etc. Very confusing and frustrating to no end.
There is a lot of promise here, but the delivery was just too muddled to make this a good read for me. Maybe others will have better luck than I did, but based on the few reviews I did read, I don' think I'm in the minority here.
ARC provided by Netgalley
I have one word for this book: FRUSTRATING!!!!
I finished this 2 days ago, and the frustration is still strong, probably due to the fact that I still have so many unanswered questions.
The problem wasn't with the storyline, as that held my interest. 2 different murder plots-one taking place in present time, and one that took place back in the 1980's. I was really intrigued with how the past and the present were going to collide.
I think the author did a great job of creating memorable characters as well. I can't say that I liked them all, but I don't think I was supposed too...
Where he lost me was with all the chaotic editing, or lack of. Sentences half finished, (this was prevelant throughout, so I am aware the majority were left this way intentionally) complete words missing, and the worst where chapters that were put into a column format of 3 sections per page. You had to read each section long ways, then go back to read the 2nd column, etc. Very confusing and frustrating to no end.
There is a lot of promise here, but the delivery was just too muddled to make this a good read for me. Maybe others will have better luck than I did, but based on the few reviews I did read, I don' think I'm in the minority here.
ARC provided by Netgalley
October 21, 2021
4.5 Stars
We are always telling a story to ourselves, about ourselves.
Ill Will is infused with a dark aura, an atmosphere of hazy confusion, a sense of an impending tragedy. Dread, a mysterious presence that is woven throughout this novel, like an insidious fog creeping under the doorway, into the home and the lives of those inside. So subtle, at first, that they never notice how much has changed, that they are no longer seeing things as they are, or maybe even as they were.
Dustin is a psychologist, his parents died along with his Aunt and Uncle when he was thirteen, thirty years ago. Killed. His adopted brother Rusty has been in prison ever since, convicted of their murder, but has recently been released. They have DNA proof that he is not the murderer, and with the help of The Innocence Project, he has been exonerated.
Dustin and his cousin Kate testified against Rusty, with wild tales of sacrifices and satanic rituals. Kate’s twin sister Wave did not, believing Rusty innocent. Needless to say, this has created some tension in the years following, but with Rusty out of prison, tensions rise even more. Adding to this is the fact that Dustin’s wife, Jill, mother of his two sons, is dying.
As the news sinks in, old memories are revisited, again and again. Questioned. Transformed over time so that now the lines of what was once clear are softer, hazy. Like an unreliable dream.
This is only the beginning.
Every time I felt I was starting to believe I knew where this was going, I would be pulled in another direction, leaving me to recalibrate, as though the ground had slowly gone a bit off-kilter.
Narrated from multiple perspectives, this will frustrate those who like every detail of a mystery neatly wrapped up for them. It doesn’t always happen, in life or in novels. There is, in fact, more than one mystery to solve - however like a puzzle being pieced together with 480 pieces out of a 500 piece puzzle, you’ll know what you can see, and have to imagine what goes in those blank spaces.
This novel will frustrate those who don’t like writers experimenting with writing structure… Chaon allows sentences drift off into nothing, following Dustin’s speech patterns that his family finds… amusing, annoying. They have become used to finishing his sentences for him. You really feel this rather than just being told this – his incomplete thoughts seemed to add a sense of his detachment to everything. There’s several sections where there are narratives written in a side-by-side format, appearing almost as if they were newspaper columns clipped and entered as comparisons. These may lead you down certain paths, thinking perhaps you know what’s happened in the past, what will happen in the future, and who, really, is responsible. But, really, whose memory can be trusted?
Published: 07 Mar 2017
Many thanks for the ARC provided by Random House - Ballantine
April 7, 2017
I devoured "Ill Will." It has to be among the smartest, saddest, most haunting page-turners I've ever read.
October 2, 2016
This book is, in turn, annoying, horrifying, eye-rollingly annoying, engaging and, finally, frustrating. You decide.
September 23, 2017
3.5 Stars rounded up to 4. One of my favorite novels is Await Your Reply by this same author. My rating only reflects that this one suffers by comparison...not that it wasn't a well-written and absorbing story.
May 11, 2017
Wading through murky, dark waters of memory
Okay, I've been known to whinge about how tough it is to find a good thriller. I complain that the plot eventually sags despite a running start, the characters are wooden, the ending disappoints in a myriad of ways. Well I'm delighted to say that THIS book nails on the head just what I look for in a literary thriller: top notch writing, fully drawn characters, atmosphere, suspense, intelligent themes, a compelling story... this has it all.
It's a truly sombre story with malevolence and nightmares at every turn. Dustin, an impressionable and dreamy 13-year-old discovers the gruesome murders of his mother, father, aunt and uncle. His adopted brother Rusty is found guilty in part due to his rumoured adherence to satanic rituals, and the testimony of Dustin and his cousin Kate. Thirty years later though, with the help of DNA evidence, Rusty is released from jail for being wrongfully incarcerated. Dustin is now a psychologist with an eerie, disconnected presence, and a son who is deep into the downward spiral of heroin. He also has an odd patient who quickly crosses ethical boundaries and draws Dustin into an investigation of sorts relating to young men who have been found drowned - could this be the work of a serial killer?
I already know I'm not describing it properly. Let me be clear: it isn't your typical thriller. It is written in a much more clever and creative way, and is not in any way predictable. Several narrators alternate telling the story, each with a very distinct voice. If you enjoyed In the Woods, this will thrill you too, while quenching your intellectual demands. No, it doesn't wrap up in a tidy bow, but it still satisfies.
Addiction, murder, white trash, cancer. The cracking of brittle bonds between twin sisters and father/son. Dan Chaon knits these elements together in order to manifest and make us feel keenly a hopeless slide into an abyss, a merciless darkness. The inevitable slide is what occurs when we cease to really know the truth from the stories we tell ourselves.
Note: I listened to this on audiobook and it was truly excellent. The voice artists (you will recognise if you listened to The Nix or any of the Karl Ove Knausgard books) are top notch and brought this book to life (or death, as the case may be).
4.5 stars
Okay, I've been known to whinge about how tough it is to find a good thriller. I complain that the plot eventually sags despite a running start, the characters are wooden, the ending disappoints in a myriad of ways. Well I'm delighted to say that THIS book nails on the head just what I look for in a literary thriller: top notch writing, fully drawn characters, atmosphere, suspense, intelligent themes, a compelling story... this has it all.
It's a truly sombre story with malevolence and nightmares at every turn. Dustin, an impressionable and dreamy 13-year-old discovers the gruesome murders of his mother, father, aunt and uncle. His adopted brother Rusty is found guilty in part due to his rumoured adherence to satanic rituals, and the testimony of Dustin and his cousin Kate. Thirty years later though, with the help of DNA evidence, Rusty is released from jail for being wrongfully incarcerated. Dustin is now a psychologist with an eerie, disconnected presence, and a son who is deep into the downward spiral of heroin. He also has an odd patient who quickly crosses ethical boundaries and draws Dustin into an investigation of sorts relating to young men who have been found drowned - could this be the work of a serial killer?
I already know I'm not describing it properly. Let me be clear: it isn't your typical thriller. It is written in a much more clever and creative way, and is not in any way predictable. Several narrators alternate telling the story, each with a very distinct voice. If you enjoyed In the Woods, this will thrill you too, while quenching your intellectual demands. No, it doesn't wrap up in a tidy bow, but it still satisfies.
Addiction, murder, white trash, cancer. The cracking of brittle bonds between twin sisters and father/son. Dan Chaon knits these elements together in order to manifest and make us feel keenly a hopeless slide into an abyss, a merciless darkness. The inevitable slide is what occurs when we cease to really know the truth from the stories we tell ourselves.
Note: I listened to this on audiobook and it was truly excellent. The voice artists (you will recognise if you listened to The Nix or any of the Karl Ove Knausgard books) are top notch and brought this book to life (or death, as the case may be).
4.5 stars
May 31, 2022
I have read a few Dan Chaon novels and I always like them fine but I never quite understood all the Dan Chaon obsession among fellow readers. Until now.
This might be a perfect book? It's very close if it isn't. If you want the big hook to draw you in, may I offer you Ritual Satanic Abuse hysteria of the 80's. Also a potential serial killer targeting frat boys in Ohio. These aren't just icing on the cake, they're fundamental parts of the story and yet the book never feels like melodrama, it is never in any way over the top. It is a very real, very everyday story with characters that feel familiar.
At the heart of the book is one simple theme: how men address (or ignore) trauma in their lives. There are a lot of traumas in this book. (Including sexual abuse involving two children for those of you who prefer to avoid such things.) The characters go through horrible and real pain, but their inability to come to grips with the sources of those pain become, in short, their undoing.
Dennis Tillman is the center of the story. A middle-aged psychologist who specializes in hypnotherapy, he has a horrible past and yet he looks to anyone who knows him like a normal, mellow, rather spacey guy. The death of his wife triggers something in him, brings old pain to the surface, and to cope with that pain he starts indulging the conspiracy theories of one of his patients, becoming more a confidant and co-investigator than counselor. Also wrapped up in the story are Dennis's teenage son--who copes with his mother's death through drugs--, his cousins who were present for much of his worst childhood trauma, and his adopted brother who was both predator and prey in the twisted story of their violent lives.
I was constantly surprised by this book. I was amazed at how deep it was willing to go, at how much it had in store for me that I did not anticipate. I read the audio version and regularly yelled at the narrator, which is not something I normally do. It is so carefully unraveled, so strategically laid out, you are still running into surprises and shocks until the very last pages. And yet it is an ambitious and quite literary novel, too. Like I said, it might just be perfect. (My major quibbles: too many men, and too many white people.)
I listened to the audiobook over two long stretches as I drove down Southern interstates. The few times I tried to listen to it walking around or riding public transit, it wasn't quite the same. I couldn't immerse myself in it the way I did on the road. It was one of those ideal audiobook experiences and if you can listen to it in a long uninterrupted stretch, especially if you are driving through the Midwest, I think that is the absolute best way to do it.
If you do decide to go audio, there are several readers and one of them is a woman whose voice would be described as having "vocal fry" and I know that will stop some of you from reading it but I hope you at least feel bad about it. I thought she was perfect for the character.
REREAD 2022: I stand by my review, everyone slept on this. It remains one of the best thrillers of the last decade and it still feels like no one knows! It is so menacing, so uneasy, so bleak. I love that there are no cops, I love that there are no beautiful dead teenage girls, I love diving in without those boring tropes to hang on to, having no idea what will happen. (Okay I read it before so I had a little idea but I'd forgotten most except for the broadest strokes.)
I read it in print this time and it did feel more "literary" this time around, the devices were a lot more obvious than when I just inhaled it all in a few long gulps on audio. But in many ways that made me enjoy it more. You can tell from all the negative reviews here how many people don't like a little ambiguity, but I love it. The contrasting perspectives here give you plenty of room to draw out one mostly-whole story, but the contrasts still rub up against each other. Oh boy does it all come together in that Rusty section. PHEW.
This might be a perfect book? It's very close if it isn't. If you want the big hook to draw you in, may I offer you Ritual Satanic Abuse hysteria of the 80's. Also a potential serial killer targeting frat boys in Ohio. These aren't just icing on the cake, they're fundamental parts of the story and yet the book never feels like melodrama, it is never in any way over the top. It is a very real, very everyday story with characters that feel familiar.
At the heart of the book is one simple theme: how men address (or ignore) trauma in their lives. There are a lot of traumas in this book. (Including sexual abuse involving two children for those of you who prefer to avoid such things.) The characters go through horrible and real pain, but their inability to come to grips with the sources of those pain become, in short, their undoing.
Dennis Tillman is the center of the story. A middle-aged psychologist who specializes in hypnotherapy, he has a horrible past and yet he looks to anyone who knows him like a normal, mellow, rather spacey guy. The death of his wife triggers something in him, brings old pain to the surface, and to cope with that pain he starts indulging the conspiracy theories of one of his patients, becoming more a confidant and co-investigator than counselor. Also wrapped up in the story are Dennis's teenage son--who copes with his mother's death through drugs--, his cousins who were present for much of his worst childhood trauma, and his adopted brother who was both predator and prey in the twisted story of their violent lives.
I was constantly surprised by this book. I was amazed at how deep it was willing to go, at how much it had in store for me that I did not anticipate. I read the audio version and regularly yelled at the narrator, which is not something I normally do. It is so carefully unraveled, so strategically laid out, you are still running into surprises and shocks until the very last pages. And yet it is an ambitious and quite literary novel, too. Like I said, it might just be perfect. (My major quibbles: too many men, and too many white people.)
I listened to the audiobook over two long stretches as I drove down Southern interstates. The few times I tried to listen to it walking around or riding public transit, it wasn't quite the same. I couldn't immerse myself in it the way I did on the road. It was one of those ideal audiobook experiences and if you can listen to it in a long uninterrupted stretch, especially if you are driving through the Midwest, I think that is the absolute best way to do it.
If you do decide to go audio, there are several readers and one of them is a woman whose voice would be described as having "vocal fry" and I know that will stop some of you from reading it but I hope you at least feel bad about it. I thought she was perfect for the character.
REREAD 2022: I stand by my review, everyone slept on this. It remains one of the best thrillers of the last decade and it still feels like no one knows! It is so menacing, so uneasy, so bleak. I love that there are no cops, I love that there are no beautiful dead teenage girls, I love diving in without those boring tropes to hang on to, having no idea what will happen. (Okay I read it before so I had a little idea but I'd forgotten most except for the broadest strokes.)
I read it in print this time and it did feel more "literary" this time around, the devices were a lot more obvious than when I just inhaled it all in a few long gulps on audio. But in many ways that made me enjoy it more. You can tell from all the negative reviews here how many people don't like a little ambiguity, but I love it. The contrasting perspectives here give you plenty of room to draw out one mostly-whole story, but the contrasts still rub up against each other. Oh boy does it all come together in that Rusty section. PHEW.
March 6, 2017
Ill Will's protagonist, Dustin Tillman, is - in my eyes - the cliché of a middle-aged psychologist. A married man and father of two sons, who has bigger issues than many of his clients, who lives in denial and doesn't see the wood for the trees. Probably not surprising, when you consider that Dustin's childhood was marked by the violent deaths of his parents and his aunt and uncle. A crime for which his adopted brother, Rusty, was subsequently sentenced. Now, new evidence has exonerated Rusty, and he is being released from prison. At work, in the meantime, Dustin is becoming increasingly mixed up with the ideas his patient, Aquil, is relaying to him. A serial killer is supposedly murdering young men, and Dustin crosses patient-therapist lines and becomes actively involved in exploring Aqil's theories. So at the heart of Ill Will, there were two intriguing mysteries. One in the past, one in the present. What really happened the night Dustin's parents were murdered? And what is behind the deaths of the young men?
Suggestions of repressed memories, people's perception of reality and truth, a lot of manipulation and the 80s Satanic rituals all play a part in this book that jumps back and forth in time between the 1980s and now. Perspectives change: there's Dustin's first-person, there's his son Aaron's, his cousin's Kate's and later on, there's also Rusty's perspective. The story didn't flow smoothly.
Some reviewers have commented on some of the unusual devices the author used, e.g. the use of columns. A couple of times, it made sense to me and I thought it was a reasonable device for mirroring situations. At other times, I couldn't see the point of it at all.
Sometimes, sentences were left unfinished. Dustin had a habit of not completing sentences, which was frustrating initially. But as it went hand in hand with his character, I began completing his sentences just like his wife and sons had been doing all their lives.
What really bothered me was the end. I was left with so many unanswered questions. It was too vague for me. This part is difficult to explain without giving away how the book ends. I really wanted to know about the motivation behind certain things that took place. Perhaps it's my fault, and I simply didn't understand it, but something was missing there for me, especially considering how painstakingly detailed the author was in other parts of the book. The end was frustrating and left me deflated, a definite let down. It wasn't the dark and disturbing literary thriller I was expecting. To me, a lot of this was more like staring at a murky lake or impenetrable, greasy fog for hours on end, if that makes sense. Maybe that was intentional considering the heavy presence of drug use in the story. It was a weird reading experience. I can't say that it was all dull. But it wasn't thrilling or even mildly suspenseful either. Nor did I care about any of the characters.
It took me ages to get through it and I mostly finished it out of a sense of duty and odd curiosity. So I can't honestly say that I liked reading it which, according to GR, would be 3 stars. In an ideal GR-world with a sliding scale, I would give this 2.5 stars overall. This was my first book by Dan Chaon and I would read another one just to see how they compare.
I received an ARC via NetGalley.
Suggestions of repressed memories, people's perception of reality and truth, a lot of manipulation and the 80s Satanic rituals all play a part in this book that jumps back and forth in time between the 1980s and now. Perspectives change: there's Dustin's first-person, there's his son Aaron's, his cousin's Kate's and later on, there's also Rusty's perspective. The story didn't flow smoothly.
Some reviewers have commented on some of the unusual devices the author used, e.g. the use of columns. A couple of times, it made sense to me and I thought it was a reasonable device for mirroring situations. At other times, I couldn't see the point of it at all.
Sometimes, sentences were left unfinished. Dustin had a habit of not completing sentences, which was frustrating initially. But as it went hand in hand with his character, I began completing his sentences just like his wife and sons had been doing all their lives.
What really bothered me was the end. I was left with so many unanswered questions. It was too vague for me. This part is difficult to explain without giving away how the book ends. I really wanted to know about the motivation behind certain things that took place. Perhaps it's my fault, and I simply didn't understand it, but something was missing there for me, especially considering how painstakingly detailed the author was in other parts of the book. The end was frustrating and left me deflated, a definite let down. It wasn't the dark and disturbing literary thriller I was expecting. To me, a lot of this was more like staring at a murky lake or impenetrable, greasy fog for hours on end, if that makes sense. Maybe that was intentional considering the heavy presence of drug use in the story. It was a weird reading experience. I can't say that it was all dull. But it wasn't thrilling or even mildly suspenseful either. Nor did I care about any of the characters.
It took me ages to get through it and I mostly finished it out of a sense of duty and odd curiosity. So I can't honestly say that I liked reading it which, according to GR, would be 3 stars. In an ideal GR-world with a sliding scale, I would give this 2.5 stars overall. This was my first book by Dan Chaon and I would read another one just to see how they compare.
I received an ARC via NetGalley.
June 29, 2017
Two unsolved murders. Both connected to psychologist Dustin Tillman. One in the 80's. Dustin's parents, aunt and uncle all murdered, blamed on Dustin's teenage adopted brother Russell amidst the satanic cult hysteria now being released from prison 29 years later due to an overturned conviction thanks to DNA analysis. The other involves a present day serial killer theory made by one of Dustin's patients, Aqil. He sees a connection in drunk college boy drownings drawing Dustin down the rabbit hole and into what will become quite the obsessive amateur investigation.
Sounds interesting, right? We have two different crimes to get to the bottom of. I was immediately in. Plus, the satantic cult phenomenon certainly didn't hurt. The problem is: Dark Places did this so much better. Do yourself a favor and read that. But back to Ill Will. The satanic aspects aren't what stand out in past events; it's merely the trauma and torment that came with living with Russell as a gullible, impressionable, spacey young boy. There are some seriously messed up things that occur and had me cringing. It is in these flashbacks to the past that we are enlightened to who the characters really are. Dustin and his cousin Kate testified against Russell. We are left wanting to figure out why and who really killed their parents.
The present day storyline did little to keep my interest. While I wanted to know the whodunnit of it all, it felt more like a steady build in Dustin's paranoia. When the present day perspective switches to Dustin's son Aaron, it gets a bit more interesting because his uncle Rusty whom he's never heard of recently got out of prison and is looking to connect.
My main issue with the story is the structure and writing style. At times, it actually makes zero sense. I understand the purpose was to display Dustin's disassociation and how out of touch he actually is. It ended up doing little more than frustrating me as I flipped back and forth to continue what was written in one of the columns and tried to finish his thoughts on my own as paragraphs would literally end mid-sentence.
The ending was intriguing in a sense. It has it's issues, for sure. But it did get me thinking about Dustin's influence. I wish I had connected more with Chaon's writing style. It didn't particularly work for me.
Sounds interesting, right? We have two different crimes to get to the bottom of. I was immediately in. Plus, the satantic cult phenomenon certainly didn't hurt. The problem is: Dark Places did this so much better. Do yourself a favor and read that. But back to Ill Will. The satanic aspects aren't what stand out in past events; it's merely the trauma and torment that came with living with Russell as a gullible, impressionable, spacey young boy. There are some seriously messed up things that occur and had me cringing. It is in these flashbacks to the past that we are enlightened to who the characters really are. Dustin and his cousin Kate testified against Russell. We are left wanting to figure out why and who really killed their parents.
The present day storyline did little to keep my interest. While I wanted to know the whodunnit of it all, it felt more like a steady build in Dustin's paranoia. When the present day perspective switches to Dustin's son Aaron, it gets a bit more interesting because his uncle Rusty whom he's never heard of recently got out of prison and is looking to connect.
My main issue with the story is the structure and writing style. At times, it actually makes zero sense. I understand the purpose was to display Dustin's disassociation and how out of touch he actually is. It ended up doing little more than frustrating me as I flipped back and forth to continue what was written in one of the columns and tried to finish his thoughts on my own as paragraphs would literally end mid-sentence.
The ending was intriguing in a sense. It has it's issues, for sure. But it did get me thinking about Dustin's influence. I wish I had connected more with Chaon's writing style. It didn't particularly work for me.
January 9, 2017
This book was so different than what I was expecting. Given the premise I probably should've known better.
Rusty has just been exonerated (through DNA) from prison after having served 30 years for allegedly murdering his adopted parents. He had already been tried and convicted in the court of public opinion, mostly based on the accusations from his adopted brother and cousin.
If you remember, back in the 80s the media sensationalized and overly dramatized accusations of satanism, rituals and cult-like crimes. Using this as a foundation for a novel could've been spectacular if not for the dark, dreadful feeling that encompasses this novel.
Of course, that's what Dan Chaon was deliberately going for, so it was a successful feat for him. My personal philosophy is not to leave so much ambiguity and so many questions for readers because we tend to get frustrated by it. Many times, this causes a disconnect between the author's genius versus the expectation of the reader.
Rusty has just been exonerated (through DNA) from prison after having served 30 years for allegedly murdering his adopted parents. He had already been tried and convicted in the court of public opinion, mostly based on the accusations from his adopted brother and cousin.
If you remember, back in the 80s the media sensationalized and overly dramatized accusations of satanism, rituals and cult-like crimes. Using this as a foundation for a novel could've been spectacular if not for the dark, dreadful feeling that encompasses this novel.
Of course, that's what Dan Chaon was deliberately going for, so it was a successful feat for him. My personal philosophy is not to leave so much ambiguity and so many questions for readers because we tend to get frustrated by it. Many times, this causes a disconnect between the author's genius versus the expectation of the reader.
March 14, 2017
Unique, dark, suspenseful psychological thriller that cycles back and forth in time focusing on 2 separate sets of murders. In the 1970s, Dustin’s parents and aunt and uncle were brutally murdered while he and his cousins slept in a trailer in the driveway. It was his and his cousin, Kate’s, testimony that landed Dustin’s foster brother, Randy in prison. As a result of this traumatic event, Dustin became interested in studying the psychology of Satanic cults and violence expressed through them. He developed his thesis around it, testified in many cases as an expert, and currently works as a therapist. In present day, Dustin’s life starts unravelling as the delicate tendrils that were holding it together gradually give way. His wife dies of cancer at the age of 43, his two sons have graduated from high school, and his foster brother Randy has been released from prison with the help of the Innocence Project working on his behalf. In current day, Dustin is drawn into investing a possible homicide cluster of drunk college boys who were determined accidental drownings by the police.
The books chapters are narrated by various different characters (sometimes in the first person and sometimes in the third) and they deeply reflect the mindset of the characters. The characters become more and more isolated from each, so the reader knows more about what is going on with them than they know what is going on with each other or in some cases themselves.
The chapters from Dustin’s mindset are particularly troubling. His thoughts and sense of reality seem to be losing footing. He takes up drinking and smoking. His thoughts are repeating themselves. He trails off not finishing thoughts or sentences. He wonders if he’s in a fugue state. His cousins and foster brother describe the young Dustin as trusting and gullible. It seems without his wife as an anchor, he has become so again, particularly with regards to his patient Aqil. Aqil is obsessed with the “murders” of drunk frat boys that have drown in waterways while intoxicated. Dustin becomes drawn into “investigating” these incidences with Aqil, presenting himself to others as an investigator or writer. He confides in Aqil so much that it seems there is a role reversal. In fact, he knows very little about Aqil, but has become emotionally dependent upon him. Dustin has trouble seeing what is right in front of him. His son is getting deeper into drugs and pretends to go to a college he never enrolled in. Dustin becomes an easy victim once again, trusting and gullible as always, without a strong sense of self.
This book brings up many questions. What are memories composed of? How reliable are our memories? Can a fictionalized statement in the past be remembered as a truth? What defines us? Is it our perception of ourselves or how others perceive us? How does grief shape our thoughts and mental stability?
This is a long, dark twisted mystery delving deep into the psychology of its characters. At points it’s hard to read as the writing reflects the altered and distressed mental states of its characters. It experiments with writing in chart format, chunking bits of information together in little boxes, letting the reader grasp that it is not making coherent sense with the character. I enjoyed the story and the writing, although it felt more difficult to get through because of it’s style. I felt the quotations at the beginning of each chapter were perfect for setting the chapter up for it’s intended purpose and were very thought provoking in and of themselves. The last chapter begins with this quote: “In the end it is the mystery that lasts and not the explanation.” – Sacheverell Sitwell, For Want of the Golden City.
Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
For discussion questions, please see: http://www.book-chatter.com/?p=1393
The books chapters are narrated by various different characters (sometimes in the first person and sometimes in the third) and they deeply reflect the mindset of the characters. The characters become more and more isolated from each, so the reader knows more about what is going on with them than they know what is going on with each other or in some cases themselves.
The chapters from Dustin’s mindset are particularly troubling. His thoughts and sense of reality seem to be losing footing. He takes up drinking and smoking. His thoughts are repeating themselves. He trails off not finishing thoughts or sentences. He wonders if he’s in a fugue state. His cousins and foster brother describe the young Dustin as trusting and gullible. It seems without his wife as an anchor, he has become so again, particularly with regards to his patient Aqil. Aqil is obsessed with the “murders” of drunk frat boys that have drown in waterways while intoxicated. Dustin becomes drawn into “investigating” these incidences with Aqil, presenting himself to others as an investigator or writer. He confides in Aqil so much that it seems there is a role reversal. In fact, he knows very little about Aqil, but has become emotionally dependent upon him. Dustin has trouble seeing what is right in front of him. His son is getting deeper into drugs and pretends to go to a college he never enrolled in. Dustin becomes an easy victim once again, trusting and gullible as always, without a strong sense of self.
This book brings up many questions. What are memories composed of? How reliable are our memories? Can a fictionalized statement in the past be remembered as a truth? What defines us? Is it our perception of ourselves or how others perceive us? How does grief shape our thoughts and mental stability?
This is a long, dark twisted mystery delving deep into the psychology of its characters. At points it’s hard to read as the writing reflects the altered and distressed mental states of its characters. It experiments with writing in chart format, chunking bits of information together in little boxes, letting the reader grasp that it is not making coherent sense with the character. I enjoyed the story and the writing, although it felt more difficult to get through because of it’s style. I felt the quotations at the beginning of each chapter were perfect for setting the chapter up for it’s intended purpose and were very thought provoking in and of themselves. The last chapter begins with this quote: “In the end it is the mystery that lasts and not the explanation.” – Sacheverell Sitwell, For Want of the Golden City.
Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
For discussion questions, please see: http://www.book-chatter.com/?p=1393
January 19, 2018
For all my reviews, visit my blog at http://ladyjbookishnook.blogspot.com
My Review
My Review
Ill Will by Dan Chaon is about a string of murders of young college-aged men and another murder that occurred in 1983. The 1983 murder is when the main character, Dustin Tillman’s parents and aunt/uncle die. Dustin’s adopted brother, Rusty, was accused of the murders and spent about 30 years in prison. Rusty was eventually released from prison through the help of the Innocence Project. Dustin and his cousin, Kate, had testified against Rusty and now that he is out they are worried. Dustin is now an adult with a family of his own…a wife and two grown boys. Dustin works as a psychologist and he has a strange ex-cop/patient/friend who wants Dustin to help him investigate the local murders of college-aged men.
Questions raised throughout the book that the reader try to figure out are who murdered Dustin’s parents if it wasn’t Rusty? What is Rusty going to do to those that testified against him now that he is out of prison? Who is responsible for the murders that are occurring present day?
The story is told in point of view of Dustin, the main character, Dustin’s son, Aaron, and Dustin’s adopted brother, Rusty. The setting alternates from 1983 and 2012-2014 in Nebraska, Ohio, and Illinois. The characters are well developed. Although I can’t say I particularly like any of them, I guess I feel sorry for Dustin’s boys, Aaron and Dennis.
The reason that this wasn’t a five star rating for me, was the fact the story kind of left me hanging at the end. There wasn’t a neat and tidy tie-up to the ending. The reader can and has to assume certain things have happened…or did they? I like to know exactly what happened to everyone and why. Overall the writing is great, the story is great. I just had too many unanswered questions at the end.
Thank you Dan Chaon, Random House Publishing Group/Bellantine Books, and NetGalley for providing me with a digital copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review.
March 6, 2017
By now we should all be on guard against Dan Chaon, but there’s just no effective defense against this cunning writer. The author of three novels and three collections of short stories, he draws on our sympathies even while pricking our anxieties. Before beginning his exceptionally unnerving new book, go ahead and lock the door, but it won’t help. You’ll still be stuck inside yourself, which for Chaon is the most precarious place to be.
“Ill Will” revolves around Dustin Tillman, a 41-year-old psychologist who recently lost his wife to cancer. The shock of her illness and death has rendered Dustin even more distracted than usual. “His brain seemed murky with circling, unfocused dread,” Chaon writes, “and the world itself appeared somehow more unfriendly — emanating, he couldn’t help but think, a soft glow of. . . .
To read the rest of this review and watch The Totally Hip Video Book Review, go to The Washington Post:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entert...
“Ill Will” revolves around Dustin Tillman, a 41-year-old psychologist who recently lost his wife to cancer. The shock of her illness and death has rendered Dustin even more distracted than usual. “His brain seemed murky with circling, unfocused dread,” Chaon writes, “and the world itself appeared somehow more unfriendly — emanating, he couldn’t help but think, a soft glow of. . . .
To read the rest of this review and watch The Totally Hip Video Book Review, go to The Washington Post:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entert...
July 4, 2017
This book was confusing at times, misleading at times, all the characters are unreliable for various reasons, but what Dan Chaon succeeds in is making the reader feel unsettled AND YET I couldn't stop reading it. Literally 100 page chunks at a time. So I think I liked it? One character I knew wasn't a good person but I'm still torn about the rest.
And I only read this because it was listed for summer reading by the Tournament of Books people, and I am a lemming. And I had to request it twice from the library since I was in Oregon the first time it became available.
And I only read this because it was listed for summer reading by the Tournament of Books people, and I am a lemming. And I had to request it twice from the library since I was in Oregon the first time it became available.
May 19, 2017
4.5 stars for this dark, gritty, literary thriller. I absolutely gobbled up these 460 pages.
December 8, 2016
Chaon is the master of circumspect dread, icy humor, and cold menace, keeping the reader off-kilter through much of the story. There was more overhanging doom in this book than in AWAIT YOUR REPLY, perhaps because it was denser and longer. Moreover, the frigid temperatures added to the bleak storyline. And bleak it is, saturated with ill will, from the first line to the last. Don’t expect Chaon to give you hope; this is a novel of evil and despair. There were times I just wanted to escape from the pages into something a bit less disturbing, but Chaon kept pulling me in to his relentless and eerie terror.
Dustin Tillman is a middle age psychologist in Cleveland with ISSUES—not uncommon for the metaphor to fit--“the cobbler without shoes” in the psychiatric field. As a child, his adopted older brother, Rusty, abused him with harrowing regularity. Rusty, who was convicted of murdering Dustin’s parents, aunt and uncle, is being released now, 30 years later, exonerated by DNA evidence. Dustin is fearful of just about any scenario the reader can think of.
In the meantime, an ex-cop patient, Aquil, who came to Dustin to help quit smoking, is trying to pull Dustin into a rogue investigation. Aquil believes that a supposedly random series of drunk drowning deaths of college boys is the work of a satanic serial killer, and the pattern is becoming quite compelling to Dustin, who once did intense research on satanic cults. Although Dustin is an ineffective father to his two teenage boys (too meek and aloof, especially since his wife died of cancer), he is alternately trying to repair the missteps while concurrently dragging his high school son gradually into his side investigation.
He pulled off what he intended, although I thought it could have been trimmed for excess (it was repetitive at times, and dragged a bit in the middle). And, in some ways, the denouement had an element of cheese; I did not figure it out because I didn’t think he would go where he did, although I considered it. I won’t give spoilers, so suffice it to say he kept things tense and suspenseful, although I wasn’t fully satisfied by the climax. However, Chaon’s polished, purposefully disjointed plot with alternating timelines, moody, atmospheric setting and understated prose held me in its grip. He fit the pieces in a tight and warped puzzle and left the gaps in just the right places to arouse, provoke, and unnerve me. A great read for those spooky, freezing nights at home.
3.75
Dustin Tillman is a middle age psychologist in Cleveland with ISSUES—not uncommon for the metaphor to fit--“the cobbler without shoes” in the psychiatric field. As a child, his adopted older brother, Rusty, abused him with harrowing regularity. Rusty, who was convicted of murdering Dustin’s parents, aunt and uncle, is being released now, 30 years later, exonerated by DNA evidence. Dustin is fearful of just about any scenario the reader can think of.
In the meantime, an ex-cop patient, Aquil, who came to Dustin to help quit smoking, is trying to pull Dustin into a rogue investigation. Aquil believes that a supposedly random series of drunk drowning deaths of college boys is the work of a satanic serial killer, and the pattern is becoming quite compelling to Dustin, who once did intense research on satanic cults. Although Dustin is an ineffective father to his two teenage boys (too meek and aloof, especially since his wife died of cancer), he is alternately trying to repair the missteps while concurrently dragging his high school son gradually into his side investigation.
He pulled off what he intended, although I thought it could have been trimmed for excess (it was repetitive at times, and dragged a bit in the middle). And, in some ways, the denouement had an element of cheese; I did not figure it out because I didn’t think he would go where he did, although I considered it. I won’t give spoilers, so suffice it to say he kept things tense and suspenseful, although I wasn’t fully satisfied by the climax. However, Chaon’s polished, purposefully disjointed plot with alternating timelines, moody, atmospheric setting and understated prose held me in its grip. He fit the pieces in a tight and warped puzzle and left the gaps in just the right places to arouse, provoke, and unnerve me. A great read for those spooky, freezing nights at home.
3.75
March 11, 2019
An eerily electric and cerebral thriller with undertones of horror
How reliable are our memories from childhood? Are some just echoes of hallucinations? Were some placed by suggestion or shaded by self-delusion? Were the unsolved murders of the protagonist's parents really part of a satanic ritual or was all "evidence" of such attributable to the 1980s hysteria for suspecting murderers-for-Mephistopheles?
Dan Chaon is a maestro at modulating keys of madness and fear in both the protagonist and the reader. As Ill Will progresses in intentional fragments from various POVs and times, the story gets more hazy and more harrowing, with an unsettling sense in the subtext of the sordid and at times the perversely erotic.
And yet, putting this book down is like awaking from a nightmare and feeling the urge of self-preservation to re-enter it because you were right on the verge of figuring everything out.
The novel is the cynosure of creeping doom and escalating uncertainty. So, beware of the scrooping sounds from the chorus of criticasters who need their stories to end in a nice tight package to appreciate literary brilliance. Ill Will will have your hair on end and leave you with cold blood coursing your veins.
How reliable are our memories from childhood? Are some just echoes of hallucinations? Were some placed by suggestion or shaded by self-delusion? Were the unsolved murders of the protagonist's parents really part of a satanic ritual or was all "evidence" of such attributable to the 1980s hysteria for suspecting murderers-for-Mephistopheles?
Dan Chaon is a maestro at modulating keys of madness and fear in both the protagonist and the reader. As Ill Will progresses in intentional fragments from various POVs and times, the story gets more hazy and more harrowing, with an unsettling sense in the subtext of the sordid and at times the perversely erotic.
And yet, putting this book down is like awaking from a nightmare and feeling the urge of self-preservation to re-enter it because you were right on the verge of figuring everything out.
The novel is the cynosure of creeping doom and escalating uncertainty. So, beware of the scrooping sounds from the chorus of criticasters who need their stories to end in a nice tight package to appreciate literary brilliance. Ill Will will have your hair on end and leave you with cold blood coursing your veins.
April 14, 2017
4 Stars. My only complaint is that it was too long but otherwise, a very complex and chilling story.
April 5, 2017
I don’t think I’ve ever been simultaneously so repulsed and so compelled to keep reading.
Ill Will starts out in what seems a very familiar way if you read a lot of thrillers, but the deeper you dive into psychologist Dustin Tillman’s mind, the more you realize you’re not in recognizable territory after all. Neat and tidy answers, characters who are easily classifiable as strictly good or bad--you won’t find any of that here.
When Dustin was a kid, his parents and aunt and uncle were murdered. His older brother Rusty was convicted of the crimes, in part due to Dustin’s testimony. Now, years later, Dustin is a psychologist with a wife and two nearly grown sons, and Rusty has been exonerated and released from jail. Which begs the obvious question: if Rusty didn’t kill their parents, who did?
You’d think that question would be at the forefront of Dustin’s mind, but that’s assuming Dustin’s mind is normal, and it becomes increasingly clear that that’s not the case. Dustin avoids thinking about his childhood at all costs, instead obsessing with his patient-turned-friend Aqil about a spate of recent drownings in the area and trying to prove they’re the work of a serial killer. Being privy to Dustin’s carefully curated thoughts is one of the most uncomfortably claustrophobic experiences I’ve had in a while. Just what is he capable of? Does he even know himself?
If I had to describe this book in two words, they would be “deeply unsettling.” But what can I say--despite that, I couldn’t seem to stop reading.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe I need a shower.
With regards to Ballantine Books and NetGalley for the review copy. On sale now!
More book recommendations by me at www.readingwithhippos.com
Ill Will starts out in what seems a very familiar way if you read a lot of thrillers, but the deeper you dive into psychologist Dustin Tillman’s mind, the more you realize you’re not in recognizable territory after all. Neat and tidy answers, characters who are easily classifiable as strictly good or bad--you won’t find any of that here.
When Dustin was a kid, his parents and aunt and uncle were murdered. His older brother Rusty was convicted of the crimes, in part due to Dustin’s testimony. Now, years later, Dustin is a psychologist with a wife and two nearly grown sons, and Rusty has been exonerated and released from jail. Which begs the obvious question: if Rusty didn’t kill their parents, who did?
You’d think that question would be at the forefront of Dustin’s mind, but that’s assuming Dustin’s mind is normal, and it becomes increasingly clear that that’s not the case. Dustin avoids thinking about his childhood at all costs, instead obsessing with his patient-turned-friend Aqil about a spate of recent drownings in the area and trying to prove they’re the work of a serial killer. Being privy to Dustin’s carefully curated thoughts is one of the most uncomfortably claustrophobic experiences I’ve had in a while. Just what is he capable of? Does he even know himself?
If I had to describe this book in two words, they would be “deeply unsettling.” But what can I say--despite that, I couldn’t seem to stop reading.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe I need a shower.
With regards to Ballantine Books and NetGalley for the review copy. On sale now!
More book recommendations by me at www.readingwithhippos.com
April 6, 2017
This book is everything I want in a thriller: smart, literary, DARK, and creepy. Throw in a plot centered around the satanic ritual abuse hysteria from the 80s and the fallibility of human memory and I'm completely sold.
Dustin Tillman's adopted brother Rusty is about to be released from prison—finally exonerated 30 years later for the murder of Dustin's parents, aunt and uncle. Dustin testified against Rusty in the trial when he was a young boy, believing him to have been connected to a sinister satanic cult.
Now, Dustin is a psychologist dealing with the recent death of his wife and the news of Rusty's release. Around this time, a mysterious new patient enters his life, asking for Dustin's help investigating a series of suspicious deaths in the area.
Early on in the novel, we're given hints that we shouldn't know who or what to believe. As Dustin tells his patients, "we're always telling a story to ourselves about ourselves" and attempting to establish order in our lives by assigning meaning and connection where it may not exist.
Ill Will is a story told from multiple perspectives, in different points in time. We come to learn how each character's understanding of events differs depending on their experience, their memories, and the stories they tell themselves.
It's a riveting read rooted in a dark, pervasive sense of disorientation, delusion, and dread.
How much can we trust ourselves and our memories of the past? It's a disquieting question, but a valid one based on actual research about the fallibility of memory.
There's a quote that Chaon used toward the end of the book: "In the end it's the mystery that lasts and not the explanation." This is true of Ill Will, which has a frustratingly nebulous ending that will annoy many readers. Honestly though, I enjoyed the journey so much though that I'm not even that mad about it.
Dustin Tillman's adopted brother Rusty is about to be released from prison—finally exonerated 30 years later for the murder of Dustin's parents, aunt and uncle. Dustin testified against Rusty in the trial when he was a young boy, believing him to have been connected to a sinister satanic cult.
Now, Dustin is a psychologist dealing with the recent death of his wife and the news of Rusty's release. Around this time, a mysterious new patient enters his life, asking for Dustin's help investigating a series of suspicious deaths in the area.
Early on in the novel, we're given hints that we shouldn't know who or what to believe. As Dustin tells his patients, "we're always telling a story to ourselves about ourselves" and attempting to establish order in our lives by assigning meaning and connection where it may not exist.
Ill Will is a story told from multiple perspectives, in different points in time. We come to learn how each character's understanding of events differs depending on their experience, their memories, and the stories they tell themselves.
It's a riveting read rooted in a dark, pervasive sense of disorientation, delusion, and dread.
How much can we trust ourselves and our memories of the past? It's a disquieting question, but a valid one based on actual research about the fallibility of memory.
There's a quote that Chaon used toward the end of the book: "In the end it's the mystery that lasts and not the explanation." This is true of Ill Will, which has a frustratingly nebulous ending that will annoy many readers. Honestly though, I enjoyed the journey so much though that I'm not even that mad about it.
April 6, 2017
4 stars--I really liked it. Reader warning: this is a dark novel full of disturbing things--drug use, serial murder, child abuse, some minor animal violence, etc.
I'm going to overuse the word dark in this review, because it fits the book so well: Dark characters, dark plot, dark world. I was utterly fascinated by the characters--unlikeable and self-destructive as they were. And as someone who lived through the ridiculous "satanic ritual abuse" scare in the '80s, I found the subject matter also intriguing.
I seem to be alone in this (I've read many reviews complaining about the book's writing style), but I especially loved the way Dustin's mind was portrayed. He's a character who is completely out of touch with reality, someone who disassociates constantly. So his chapters were written with sentences that just
(See what I did there?)
Characterization was definitely the strength of this book. Even though everyone kept secrets and made horrible choices, each character was presented with sympathy; I couldn't help but be interested in them. I loved the narrative parallels between the past and present characters/plot as well.
Dark but utterly readable, I greatly enjoyed this novel. I received this review copy from the publisher on NetGalley. Thanks for the opportunity to read and review; I appreciate it!
I'm going to overuse the word dark in this review, because it fits the book so well: Dark characters, dark plot, dark world. I was utterly fascinated by the characters--unlikeable and self-destructive as they were. And as someone who lived through the ridiculous "satanic ritual abuse" scare in the '80s, I found the subject matter also intriguing.
I seem to be alone in this (I've read many reviews complaining about the book's writing style), but I especially loved the way Dustin's mind was portrayed. He's a character who is completely out of touch with reality, someone who disassociates constantly. So his chapters were written with sentences that just
(See what I did there?)
Characterization was definitely the strength of this book. Even though everyone kept secrets and made horrible choices, each character was presented with sympathy; I couldn't help but be interested in them. I loved the narrative parallels between the past and present characters/plot as well.
Dark but utterly readable, I greatly enjoyed this novel. I received this review copy from the publisher on NetGalley. Thanks for the opportunity to read and review; I appreciate it!
May 29, 2024
Dan Chaon’s 2017 novel “Ill Will” is one of the most chilling and disturbing psychological thrillers I have ever read, and I have read many psychological thrillers.
The novel is about a serial killer, one that may or may not even exist, but it is more than that. It is about the fallibility of memory and how we often can’t trust our own personal history. It is about how we shape our past to protect us from something traumatic and incomprehensible. It is about the lies we create that ultimately become our truth.
It is also, specifically, about a weird, frightening period in our fairly recent history in this country when literally everyone—-parents, teachers, childcare professionals, police, psychiatrists, psychologists, politicians—-did everything wrong when it came to protecting children.
It was called “The Satanic Panic”. In a nutshell: During the 1980s, there was a widespread fear (based solely on irrational and paranoid fantasies fueled primarily by a single book written by a psychologist) that satanic cults were molesting, kidnapping, and ritually sacrificing children by the hundreds. Local police and FBI agents were arresting thousands of people based on testimonies of children. As it turned out, most of the children’s testimony came from bad interviews, where the interviewers, in many cases, were unintentionally leading the children to ridiculous fantasies of pentagrams, robed figures, and ritual sacrifice. It turned out that little kids will often tell an interviewer exactly what they want to hear.
This craziness is at the heart of Chaon’s novel. It sets the stage and provides a historical backdrop for the events in the novel.
I would give a synopsis, but I would be worried that I would drop spoilers, and this is a novel in which the less one knows going in, the better. Be forewarned: if you are prone to night terrors, this is not the book for you…
The novel is about a serial killer, one that may or may not even exist, but it is more than that. It is about the fallibility of memory and how we often can’t trust our own personal history. It is about how we shape our past to protect us from something traumatic and incomprehensible. It is about the lies we create that ultimately become our truth.
It is also, specifically, about a weird, frightening period in our fairly recent history in this country when literally everyone—-parents, teachers, childcare professionals, police, psychiatrists, psychologists, politicians—-did everything wrong when it came to protecting children.
It was called “The Satanic Panic”. In a nutshell: During the 1980s, there was a widespread fear (based solely on irrational and paranoid fantasies fueled primarily by a single book written by a psychologist) that satanic cults were molesting, kidnapping, and ritually sacrificing children by the hundreds. Local police and FBI agents were arresting thousands of people based on testimonies of children. As it turned out, most of the children’s testimony came from bad interviews, where the interviewers, in many cases, were unintentionally leading the children to ridiculous fantasies of pentagrams, robed figures, and ritual sacrifice. It turned out that little kids will often tell an interviewer exactly what they want to hear.
This craziness is at the heart of Chaon’s novel. It sets the stage and provides a historical backdrop for the events in the novel.
I would give a synopsis, but I would be worried that I would drop spoilers, and this is a novel in which the less one knows going in, the better. Be forewarned: if you are prone to night terrors, this is not the book for you…
February 21, 2017
Dustin is a psychologist who struggles with his own past. His mother, father, aunt and uncle were all killed one summer when he was a young boy. His adopted brother, Rusty, was arrested for the crime and has spent 30 years in prison but is now being released based on new DNA results. Dustin had testified against Rusty at his trial telling of a satanic cult ritual. To complicate things further for Dustin, his wife, Jill, has cancer, his youngest son, Aaron, is becoming a drug addict and his oldest son, Dennis, is drifting away from them all. Plus Dustin is becoming pulled in more and more by one of his patient’s obsession that there is a link to the drownings of college boys.
This is one of the most unnerving books I’ve read in a long time. The author is very skilled at giving his reader chills. His use of the different plot lines kept me unsettled and never knowing what to expect. He gave the main character, Dustin, a quirk of often not finishing his thoughts. At first I found it distracting but once I got used to it, it made the book seem very realistic and amplified Dustin’s confusion. He also sometimes would tell his story from different perspectives which he would place into short columns on the page, which I found to be very effective in keeping me glued to these pages.
This is not only an excellent psychological thriller but is also a complex exploration of the unreliability of memory, self-delusion and self-destructive behavior. The sections dealing with Jill’s cancer and Aaron’s drug addiction are very insightful and moving. But don’t expect a neat ending. The reader is left to figure out some things on their own but I thought it was pretty clear as to what had happened in the past and the present. This is an above-average thriller that kept me completely engrossed throughout. This author is now on a list of “must read past books” for me.
Recommended for those who enjoy a complex psychological thriller that will send chills up your spine.
This book was given to me by the publisher in return for an honest review.
This is one of the most unnerving books I’ve read in a long time. The author is very skilled at giving his reader chills. His use of the different plot lines kept me unsettled and never knowing what to expect. He gave the main character, Dustin, a quirk of often not finishing his thoughts. At first I found it distracting but once I got used to it, it made the book seem very realistic and amplified Dustin’s confusion. He also sometimes would tell his story from different perspectives which he would place into short columns on the page, which I found to be very effective in keeping me glued to these pages.
This is not only an excellent psychological thriller but is also a complex exploration of the unreliability of memory, self-delusion and self-destructive behavior. The sections dealing with Jill’s cancer and Aaron’s drug addiction are very insightful and moving. But don’t expect a neat ending. The reader is left to figure out some things on their own but I thought it was pretty clear as to what had happened in the past and the present. This is an above-average thriller that kept me completely engrossed throughout. This author is now on a list of “must read past books” for me.
Recommended for those who enjoy a complex psychological thriller that will send chills up your spine.
This book was given to me by the publisher in return for an honest review.
March 12, 2020
I meant to get around to Dan Chaon again sometime. Seven years ago I read his book of stories Stay Awake and admired how quickly his characters could, with the slightest of wayward choices, step away from mundane reality into an irretrievably blighted world. So it was that, coming upon Ill Will on the shelves of my local library, I decided to give it a try. After all, it featured two of my favorite crime conspiracy theories.
Dustin Tillman, a middle-aged psychologist, scarred by the slaughter of his family in the early 80’s, an event thought to be an example Satanic Ritual Abuse (remember the McMartin’s Preschool panic?), attempts—along with one of his patients—to solve the “Jack Daniels Killer” murders (which sounds a lot like the “Smiley Face Killer” murders to me). Then he hears that his adopted brother Rusty, imprisoned for his parents murders years before, has been declared innocent based on DNA evidence and released from prison. Soon Dustin begins to doubt his own memories of events, and finds his own family—particularly his drug-addicted younger son Aaron—are caught up in murders, past and present again.
Chaon’s well-written prose somehow kept me reading, but the resulting saga—and it is a rather long book—just didn’t work for me. I get it, the narrative is fragmented and disappointing because life itself is fragmented and disappointing, but I never really bought the form-follows-theme theory anyway, and, besides, whatever the theory may be, I’m still left with a lot of sad pieces instead of a book.
I doubt if I read another long book by Dan Chaon. I don't want to spend so much time again getting so thoroughly disappointed. Still, though, he can write a hell of a sentence, and create a memorable atmosphere by combining them. If he writes another book of short stories, yes, I’ll read that.
April 4, 2017
Disclaimer: This ARC copy was sent to me by the publisher, Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine, via NetGalley for an honest review.
Opinion: WHEW! What a whirlwind that story was! After becoming introduced to The Girl on the Train, I have been in a frenzy trying to find similar books. I came across Ill Will on Netgalley and HAD to give it a go. Let me tell you readers, I have so many STRONG and INSANE emotions rushing through me right now…I barely know where to start! This book is like a bad mushroom trip that feels WAY too real.
Thirty years ago, Dustin and his cousins woke up to find their parents brutally murdered in their home. Already flushed with loss at a young age, a life sentence is handed down on Dustin’s adopted brother Rusty who is blamed for the crimes. Now years later with children of his own, Dustin works as a psychologist in Cleveland. Soon a call from Dustin’s cousin brings panic into his life, as he is told that Rusty’s sentence has been thrown out and he is being released. Now Dustin begins to reflect back on the night that changed his life forever, and whether he and his cousins were right about testifying against Rusty and blaming him for the murders. All the while, a staggering number of male college students being found dead is making headlines. Though the police call the strange occurrences “accidental drownings”, Dustin’s new patient feels otherwise and suspects foul play. Could there be a link to this madness, or is Dustin slowly falling down a rabbit hole?
This is a truly interesting and dark story. There are tons of misleading twists and shocking occurrences, and the characters are truly gritty. Dustin is our main character and the reader follows him as he relives moments from his past, while also dealing with his present. One day Dustin gets a call from his cousin who tells him that Rusty, his adopted brother and the person who took the fall for the murders, is being released from prison. He is told that new DNA results were discovered which proves that Rusty couldn’t have murdered his new family. This brings a panic into Dustin’s life because now he is unsure if Rusty was the culprit of the crime, or if he was just blamed because of the things he had done in his past.
As Dustin reflects on his past growing up with Rusty, I was…how should I say this…COMPLETELY f***ing disturbed. There is some SERIOUSLY dark and grimy things that go on between these boys. Rusty can be described as a tough and hardheaded boy at an early age, and grows into a metal loving hooligan that likes talking about satanic rituals and even goes as far as sacrificing small rabbits. Dustin is a young an impressionable boy, and sees Rusty as his knight in shining armor. He proves to be a more than gullible child, and will allow his mind to be overturned by suggestions and hints by his older cousins and Rusty. In each flashback that these characters take the reader in, we are given glimpses of each characters flaws as a child and reasons why they could or couldn’t have been the ones to murder their family.
Another huge part of this story is Dustin and his patient Aqil. Aqil is a former police officer who has more than an obsessive and compulsive personality. He becomes fascinated by the mass amounts of local drownings of college males, and brings it upon himself to start investigating. As Aqil attends sessions with Dustin, Dustin starts to get wrapped up in the ideas and theories that Aqil presents him. Soon he finds himself spending all of his time with Aqil and latched onto the idea that there is a murderer on the loose killing these boys. The end result for these murders is truly…SHOCKING. I was so blindsided when this portion of the story was SOMEWHAT answered. Yes, in this book you will find that the author likes to leave you guessing.
For me though, I think the ending is where this story really shines. At first I wasn’t too keen on the fact that the ending didn’t completely tie everything together. I ended the book and thought to myself WAIT, what happened?? As it has now been a few days since I have finished the book, I have a different feeling towards the ending. I actually enjoy the fact of where the author took it, because there are so many actual cases where things end up in that fashion. I think I have a pretty decent idea of what could have happened, and I think you guys will too if you give this read a go. But honestly, the best part is knowing that you have no idea what actually happened. So touché Dan Chaon, touché. All in all, I am only giving this 3 stars because this book took me a LONG time to get through and because I was rather uncomfortable for most of the read. I prefer a thriller that THRILLS me, not a story that makes my skin crawl and forces me to put it down. It is an interesting story, but I could have done without all the in-depth sexual scenes.
Opinion: WHEW! What a whirlwind that story was! After becoming introduced to The Girl on the Train, I have been in a frenzy trying to find similar books. I came across Ill Will on Netgalley and HAD to give it a go. Let me tell you readers, I have so many STRONG and INSANE emotions rushing through me right now…I barely know where to start! This book is like a bad mushroom trip that feels WAY too real.
Thirty years ago, Dustin and his cousins woke up to find their parents brutally murdered in their home. Already flushed with loss at a young age, a life sentence is handed down on Dustin’s adopted brother Rusty who is blamed for the crimes. Now years later with children of his own, Dustin works as a psychologist in Cleveland. Soon a call from Dustin’s cousin brings panic into his life, as he is told that Rusty’s sentence has been thrown out and he is being released. Now Dustin begins to reflect back on the night that changed his life forever, and whether he and his cousins were right about testifying against Rusty and blaming him for the murders. All the while, a staggering number of male college students being found dead is making headlines. Though the police call the strange occurrences “accidental drownings”, Dustin’s new patient feels otherwise and suspects foul play. Could there be a link to this madness, or is Dustin slowly falling down a rabbit hole?
This is a truly interesting and dark story. There are tons of misleading twists and shocking occurrences, and the characters are truly gritty. Dustin is our main character and the reader follows him as he relives moments from his past, while also dealing with his present. One day Dustin gets a call from his cousin who tells him that Rusty, his adopted brother and the person who took the fall for the murders, is being released from prison. He is told that new DNA results were discovered which proves that Rusty couldn’t have murdered his new family. This brings a panic into Dustin’s life because now he is unsure if Rusty was the culprit of the crime, or if he was just blamed because of the things he had done in his past.
As Dustin reflects on his past growing up with Rusty, I was…how should I say this…COMPLETELY f***ing disturbed. There is some SERIOUSLY dark and grimy things that go on between these boys. Rusty can be described as a tough and hardheaded boy at an early age, and grows into a metal loving hooligan that likes talking about satanic rituals and even goes as far as sacrificing small rabbits. Dustin is a young an impressionable boy, and sees Rusty as his knight in shining armor. He proves to be a more than gullible child, and will allow his mind to be overturned by suggestions and hints by his older cousins and Rusty. In each flashback that these characters take the reader in, we are given glimpses of each characters flaws as a child and reasons why they could or couldn’t have been the ones to murder their family.
Another huge part of this story is Dustin and his patient Aqil. Aqil is a former police officer who has more than an obsessive and compulsive personality. He becomes fascinated by the mass amounts of local drownings of college males, and brings it upon himself to start investigating. As Aqil attends sessions with Dustin, Dustin starts to get wrapped up in the ideas and theories that Aqil presents him. Soon he finds himself spending all of his time with Aqil and latched onto the idea that there is a murderer on the loose killing these boys. The end result for these murders is truly…SHOCKING. I was so blindsided when this portion of the story was SOMEWHAT answered. Yes, in this book you will find that the author likes to leave you guessing.
For me though, I think the ending is where this story really shines. At first I wasn’t too keen on the fact that the ending didn’t completely tie everything together. I ended the book and thought to myself WAIT, what happened?? As it has now been a few days since I have finished the book, I have a different feeling towards the ending. I actually enjoy the fact of where the author took it, because there are so many actual cases where things end up in that fashion. I think I have a pretty decent idea of what could have happened, and I think you guys will too if you give this read a go. But honestly, the best part is knowing that you have no idea what actually happened. So touché Dan Chaon, touché. All in all, I am only giving this 3 stars because this book took me a LONG time to get through and because I was rather uncomfortable for most of the read. I prefer a thriller that THRILLS me, not a story that makes my skin crawl and forces me to put it down. It is an interesting story, but I could have done without all the in-depth sexual scenes.
February 10, 2017
What you think you know...What you think you remember....what if it was wrong?
The book opens as Dustin, a Psychologist in Cleveland, receives the news from his cousin, Kate that his adoptive brother, Rusty had recently been exonerated through DNA evidence after serving 30 years for a crime he did not commit. The Crime - killing he and Dustin's parents, aunt and uncle. The trial that sent him to prison symbolized the 1980's obsession with satanic worship. Rusty was sentenced to 30 years primarily based on the testimony of Dustin and his cousin Kate.
Dustin believes that Rusty will come looking for him. As he braces for that, Dustin spends his time with a patient who is obsessed with a sting of drowning deaths of college men. At first he believes his client is just paranoid when he suggest there is a serial killer on the loose. But then as Dustin talks with his client more, lines get crossed and the Doctor - Patient relationship goes out the window and the two become like amateur detectives on the search for a killer. Not only does Dustin risk his professional career, he puts his family at risk at well.
Bad judgement seems to be a theme for Dustin. The book goes back and forth between the past and the present. From the past we learn more about Dustin and Rusty. Their "relationship" and behaviors leading up to the killing. We also learn more about all the teens in the book and their "relationships" with each other. There is a lot of Dustin being lead astray and a lot of twisted relationships.
There is also Dustin's present day family. His wife has passed away and he has two sons. The oldest is away at College while his youngest is on a downward spiral due to drug abuse. Rusty enters the young man's life causing all the characters to be on a collision course with each other. The two investigations come together in the end.
What is Memory? How easily can memory be changed? How susceptible is someone to having false memories implanted? HUGE questions for this book.
I liked the book. I didn't love it. There were parts that I really enjoyed and there were parts I thought were repetitive. I think I would have liked the book more with a little more editing. I also wanted more of Rusty's trail, more information on how he was exonerated - what led up to that the part his cousin played in finding him innocent. What I did like, was the revelation that Rusty had about himself. I wont give it away but it was insightful. At least I can say, that his character knew himself. In the end, I felt let down by the conclusion. I was sitting there thinking "What..it just ends like that?" I wanted more from the ending. I was slightly disappointed.
I received a copy of this book from the publishers and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
See more of my reviews at www.openbookpost.com
The book opens as Dustin, a Psychologist in Cleveland, receives the news from his cousin, Kate that his adoptive brother, Rusty had recently been exonerated through DNA evidence after serving 30 years for a crime he did not commit. The Crime - killing he and Dustin's parents, aunt and uncle. The trial that sent him to prison symbolized the 1980's obsession with satanic worship. Rusty was sentenced to 30 years primarily based on the testimony of Dustin and his cousin Kate.
Dustin believes that Rusty will come looking for him. As he braces for that, Dustin spends his time with a patient who is obsessed with a sting of drowning deaths of college men. At first he believes his client is just paranoid when he suggest there is a serial killer on the loose. But then as Dustin talks with his client more, lines get crossed and the Doctor - Patient relationship goes out the window and the two become like amateur detectives on the search for a killer. Not only does Dustin risk his professional career, he puts his family at risk at well.
Bad judgement seems to be a theme for Dustin. The book goes back and forth between the past and the present. From the past we learn more about Dustin and Rusty. Their "relationship" and behaviors leading up to the killing. We also learn more about all the teens in the book and their "relationships" with each other. There is a lot of Dustin being lead astray and a lot of twisted relationships.
There is also Dustin's present day family. His wife has passed away and he has two sons. The oldest is away at College while his youngest is on a downward spiral due to drug abuse. Rusty enters the young man's life causing all the characters to be on a collision course with each other. The two investigations come together in the end.
What is Memory? How easily can memory be changed? How susceptible is someone to having false memories implanted? HUGE questions for this book.
I liked the book. I didn't love it. There were parts that I really enjoyed and there were parts I thought were repetitive. I think I would have liked the book more with a little more editing. I also wanted more of Rusty's trail, more information on how he was exonerated - what led up to that the part his cousin played in finding him innocent. What I did like, was the revelation that Rusty had about himself. I wont give it away but it was insightful. At least I can say, that his character knew himself. In the end, I felt let down by the conclusion. I was sitting there thinking "What..it just ends like that?" I wanted more from the ending. I was slightly disappointed.
I received a copy of this book from the publishers and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
See more of my reviews at www.openbookpost.com
February 16, 2017
Do you like dark and gritty suspense novels that threaten to make even the strongest of constitutions a little faint? How would you feel if satanic cults were blamed to be involved as one disturbed ward of the system is witnessed killing his foster parents? What if the witnesses were young teens, traumatized and unsure of what they witnessed? Were they having a mass episode of hysteria? Were they truly watching a satanic ritual in progress or were they so confused, they were unable to differentiate fact from fiction?
Feel something vile crawling under your skin, feel morbid curiosity and dread fear that this could really happen in a society as lost and unstable as ours can be.
Dan Chaon will take us into a world beyond our control, beyond our comfort zones and into the world of ILL WILL where the villain is actually a victim himself and may truly NOT be the villain after all. As this tale is told, oen man will relive the times he remembers as a horror, after he hears his foster brother will be released from his life sentence, because guess what, he didn’t do the crime. So who did? Will Dustin’s brother Rusty seek revenge?
As Dustin gets roped into another cold case by one of his patients, he finds himself tumbling headlong into the dark abyss of murder, mystery and strange tie-ins to his brother’s case. A Psychologist be trade, has Dustin’s own fear of his brother’s return set him on a path of discovery that will reveal more than he bargained for?
Very dark, with a heavy and ominous feel, this chaotic read will send you into a twisted world where fact and fiction become stuck in a murky quagmire that threatens to never let you go.
I received an ARC edition from Ballantine Books in exchange for my honest review.
Publisher: Ballantine Books (March 7, 2017)
Publication Date: March 7, 2017
Genre: Psychological Thriller
Print Length: 480 pages
Available from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
For Reviews & More: http://tometender.blogspot.com
Feel something vile crawling under your skin, feel morbid curiosity and dread fear that this could really happen in a society as lost and unstable as ours can be.
Dan Chaon will take us into a world beyond our control, beyond our comfort zones and into the world of ILL WILL where the villain is actually a victim himself and may truly NOT be the villain after all. As this tale is told, oen man will relive the times he remembers as a horror, after he hears his foster brother will be released from his life sentence, because guess what, he didn’t do the crime. So who did? Will Dustin’s brother Rusty seek revenge?
As Dustin gets roped into another cold case by one of his patients, he finds himself tumbling headlong into the dark abyss of murder, mystery and strange tie-ins to his brother’s case. A Psychologist be trade, has Dustin’s own fear of his brother’s return set him on a path of discovery that will reveal more than he bargained for?
Very dark, with a heavy and ominous feel, this chaotic read will send you into a twisted world where fact and fiction become stuck in a murky quagmire that threatens to never let you go.
I received an ARC edition from Ballantine Books in exchange for my honest review.
Publisher: Ballantine Books (March 7, 2017)
Publication Date: March 7, 2017
Genre: Psychological Thriller
Print Length: 480 pages
Available from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
For Reviews & More: http://tometender.blogspot.com
May 21, 2017
Spoilers below, but they are also found in the blurb. Read at your own risk.
A thrilling exploration of memory and grief and whole lot of self deception. Told through Dustin Tillman as both a child and as an adult and through the various family members that were involved in the killings in 1983 and those that are born into this sad dysfunctional family. I was kept wondering if anyone was actually sober, dry or straight on the night of the key murders upon which this story is based.
At the beginning each short chapter ended on a bit of a cliffhanger and by halfway through the book, I was totally convinced that anyone could have done it.
As it turned out, I was able to piece it together before the end, but I really enjoyed the trip. Fantastic writing and unusual technique. (I listened to this, so I didn’t struggle with the half finished sentences, it was brilliantly narrated by the team who worked on this.) 5 stars.
A thrilling exploration of memory and grief and whole lot of self deception. Told through Dustin Tillman as both a child and as an adult and through the various family members that were involved in the killings in 1983 and those that are born into this sad dysfunctional family. I was kept wondering if anyone was actually sober, dry or straight on the night of the key murders upon which this story is based.
At the beginning each short chapter ended on a bit of a cliffhanger and by halfway through the book, I was totally convinced that anyone could have done it.
As it turned out, I was able to piece it together before the end, but I really enjoyed the trip. Fantastic writing and unusual technique. (I listened to this, so I didn’t struggle with the half finished sentences, it was brilliantly narrated by the team who worked on this.) 5 stars.
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