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All We Could Still Have
In their attempts to have a child, a husband and wife must contend with personal desires, crossed boundaries, and broken trust as they reimagine what it truly means to be a family.
Nikki and Kyle Sebastian have a loving and healthy marriage. It’s only missing one thing they want—children. When the couple is diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” and endures several failed rounds of IVF, Kyle, for both their sakes, is unwilling to bury them deeper in emotional and financial debt.
Desperate to have a baby, Nikki betrays Kyle’s trust in an attempt to try IVF one more time. The choice fractures their once-stable union. Now burdened with suspicion, resentment, and further grief, their little family is falling apart.
Picking up the pieces of their broken home means reassessing their dreams for the future—dreams that Nikki’s not ready to give up. If she can’t find a way to forge a new path forward with Kyle, she may find herself alone at the end of the family tree she longs to help grow.
Nikki and Kyle Sebastian have a loving and healthy marriage. It’s only missing one thing they want—children. When the couple is diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” and endures several failed rounds of IVF, Kyle, for both their sakes, is unwilling to bury them deeper in emotional and financial debt.
Desperate to have a baby, Nikki betrays Kyle’s trust in an attempt to try IVF one more time. The choice fractures their once-stable union. Now burdened with suspicion, resentment, and further grief, their little family is falling apart.
Picking up the pieces of their broken home means reassessing their dreams for the future—dreams that Nikki’s not ready to give up. If she can’t find a way to forge a new path forward with Kyle, she may find herself alone at the end of the family tree she longs to help grow.
281 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 13, 2023
388 people are currently reading
4020 people want to read
About the author
Diane Barnes
5 books276 followersDiane Barnes is the author of The Mulligan Curse (February 2025), All We Could Still Have, More Than, Waiting for Ethan, and Mixed Signals. She is also a marketing and corporate communication writer in the health care industry. When she’s not writing, she’s at the gym, running, or playing tennis, trying to burn off the ridiculous amounts of chocolate and ice cream she eats. She and her husband, Steven, live in New England with Oakley, their handsome golden retriever. She hopes you enjoy reading her books as much as she enjoyed writing them.
She can be found at www.dianembarnes.com or on Twitter and Instagram @DianeBarnes777.
She can be found at www.dianembarnes.com or on Twitter and Instagram @DianeBarnes777.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 217 reviews
January 8, 2024
Like so many other couples, Nikki and Kyle have a desire to be good parents to bond them as a completed family, so their family tree doesn't end with them. After several failed IVF procedures, they have suffered in their relationship, financial debt and are emotionally drained. When the desire becomes so unbearable and Kyle refuses to be a part of it anymore, she decides to betray him by dipping into their retirement funds. This lie causes such a rift between them that she fears their relationship is irreparable.
Kyle moves out refusing to excuse her desperation. He makes a mistake during their separation, which brings their marriage to deal with several consequences. I wondered how they will ever recover. There was so much resentment and disappointments to forgive and forget. Without giving it away, you must read to find out. Although I could almost see where this was going, it is a terrific audio, narrated by Alex Picard, to lose yourself. I couldn't wait to see how Nikki was going to handle each situation and if she would recover from her own heartache.
Kyle moves out refusing to excuse her desperation. He makes a mistake during their separation, which brings their marriage to deal with several consequences. I wondered how they will ever recover. There was so much resentment and disappointments to forgive and forget. Without giving it away, you must read to find out. Although I could almost see where this was going, it is a terrific audio, narrated by Alex Picard, to lose yourself. I couldn't wait to see how Nikki was going to handle each situation and if she would recover from her own heartache.
do-not-read-cheating
December 4, 2023Just reading the premise of this pisses me off!!!!
Incoming spoilery rant!!!
As a woman that’s struggled with infertility, I’m angry that he uses it as an excuse to cheat.
I don’t even know how the book ends, all I know is, like usual, the woman takes the brunt of the emotional toil that not only the cheating brings on, but the added on infertility struggles and it makes it even worse.
I just wanna hug this woman, and then tell her to move TF ON!
I was interested in reading this to maybe see some positivity after going through IVF and what it means to be infertile, but to find out he cheated just makes me nauseous.
I’m glad I became suspicious after reading the blurb and came to Goodreads for spoilers.
Incoming spoilery rant!!!
As a woman that’s struggled with infertility, I’m angry that he uses it as an excuse to cheat.
I don’t even know how the book ends, all I know is, like usual, the woman takes the brunt of the emotional toil that not only the cheating brings on, but the added on infertility struggles and it makes it even worse.
I just wanna hug this woman, and then tell her to move TF ON!
I was interested in reading this to maybe see some positivity after going through IVF and what it means to be infertile, but to find out he cheated just makes me nauseous.
I’m glad I became suspicious after reading the blurb and came to Goodreads for spoilers.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 22, 2025
This is a story of a desperate woman..all she wants is to have a baby at 39 with her husband. She's been desperately trying for years. She's so desperate that she drains her 401k to pay for IVF and lies to her husband, telling him she got a bonus. She's despondent when the fertility treatment fails. Her husband threatens to level over her behavior.
He does something in a moment of anger and drunkenness that changes their whole relationship. He gets a one night stand pregnant. The fmc again is despondent and leaves. The woman wants to put the child up for adoption or give the husband full custody and waiver her parental rights.
He tries to get his wife to see his side..that the baby may fix their relationship..she can raise this child as her own.
The fmc is not a compleye doormat which I like, she doesn't just go with the mistresses suggestion to think of her as a ' surrogate'.
There's a lot of forgiveness on the fmcs part but honestly I hated the mmc. He was a terrible person and didn't take the fmcs feelings into account. He was selfish and asking his wife to overlook the fact he banged another woman for his own selfish needs then asking her to raise the product of his infidelity was just low. I kept hoping that she'd miraculously find a one night stand of her own, get pregnant and get out of dodge.
It was well written and angsty even if I despised the husband
He does something in a moment of anger and drunkenness that changes their whole relationship. He gets a one night stand pregnant. The fmc again is despondent and leaves. The woman wants to put the child up for adoption or give the husband full custody and waiver her parental rights.
He tries to get his wife to see his side..that the baby may fix their relationship..she can raise this child as her own.
The fmc is not a compleye doormat which I like, she doesn't just go with the mistresses suggestion to think of her as a ' surrogate'.
There's a lot of forgiveness on the fmcs part but honestly I hated the mmc. He was a terrible person and didn't take the fmcs feelings into account. He was selfish and asking his wife to overlook the fact he banged another woman for his own selfish needs then asking her to raise the product of his infidelity was just low. I kept hoping that she'd miraculously find a one night stand of her own, get pregnant and get out of dodge.
It was well written and angsty even if I despised the husband
dnf
November 18, 2023I just skimmed it because I was pretty sure it would piss me off. And yes, the only time he says i'm sorry is quickly tossed to her as she shuts the door in his face. He never seems to regret cheating. I stopped skimming around 80% because i just have no patience for stories where the woman has to bear the brunt of humiliation and regret.
She apologizes several times for her taking money out of her rrsp, which he holds up as a righteous reason for him to cheat. But he only says sorry once because she's closing the door in his face. And it sure didn't seem heartfelt. He seemed to feel justified for his cheating up to the point i stopped. He also didn't tell the girl he cheated with that he was married.
My feelings are that he's a pos and she needs to move on, but I know she will take him back and all will be hunky dory raising a kid he had by f'ing another woman. He had no plans to tell her he cheated, if not for the accidental pregnancy.
I want a story that shows the H going though the same humiliations and regrets she is. This is not that book. In fact, i've yet to find that book...
I felt no connection to whats-his-face. He just showed up every now and then, pressuring her to commit to his baby.
Meh.
She apologizes several times for her taking money out of her rrsp, which he holds up as a righteous reason for him to cheat. But he only says sorry once because she's closing the door in his face. And it sure didn't seem heartfelt. He seemed to feel justified for his cheating up to the point i stopped. He also didn't tell the girl he cheated with that he was married.
My feelings are that he's a pos and she needs to move on, but I know she will take him back and all will be hunky dory raising a kid he had by f'ing another woman. He had no plans to tell her he cheated, if not for the accidental pregnancy.
I want a story that shows the H going though the same humiliations and regrets she is. This is not that book. In fact, i've yet to find that book...
I felt no connection to whats-his-face. He just showed up every now and then, pressuring her to commit to his baby.
Meh.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 4, 2023
This is quite a contemporary book and covers a topic which is heart breaking but often a social taboo, so not discussed and normalised. Nikki is undergoing her third round of IVF and this time she feels, is going to be it. She is desperate for a baby and is shocked when her husband tells her he has had enough. If the treatment doesn't work he doesn't want to try again. Nikki is astounded and struggles to see her husbands perspective. She feels that the financial and emotional pressure far outweigh remaining childless. Kyle, however, feels that being a couple is more important than all the trauma and pain he sees in his wife every time the treatment fails.
The book explores the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, trust and compromise. There were moments when I felt teary and emotional myself, so this book could be triggering for some people if this hits close to home. It is however, a topic that needs to be more mainstream to normalise the pain and emotion tied up in fertility issues.
Thank you Netgalley and Lake Union Publishing for the opportunity to read this digital ARC.
The book explores the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, trust and compromise. There were moments when I felt teary and emotional myself, so this book could be triggering for some people if this hits close to home. It is however, a topic that needs to be more mainstream to normalise the pain and emotion tied up in fertility issues.
Thank you Netgalley and Lake Union Publishing for the opportunity to read this digital ARC.
November 16, 2023
Well written but hard to read. Spoilers below
Infertility is heartbreaking but infidelity is marriage, soul, life breaking. And unfortunately it ruined the novel for me. Very well written and I read through the end but my heart hurt so bad while I was doing so. It gave me a stomach ache too. I just can't tolerate that in a novel. This is chick lit and not a romance and I was hoping his betrayal was something else, but it was awful. A younger beautiful woman, and seemingly sweet. Plus the result of the cheating and the ensuing decisions just made this book unlikable for me. I just couldn't fathom the outcome and I honestly didn't feel it was believable but other people loved it. I guess my capacity for forgiveness is bad. I just couldn't do it. Just be warned. Here be triggers.
Infertility is heartbreaking but infidelity is marriage, soul, life breaking. And unfortunately it ruined the novel for me. Very well written and I read through the end but my heart hurt so bad while I was doing so. It gave me a stomach ache too. I just can't tolerate that in a novel. This is chick lit and not a romance and I was hoping his betrayal was something else, but it was awful. A younger beautiful woman, and seemingly sweet. Plus the result of the cheating and the ensuing decisions just made this book unlikable for me. I just couldn't fathom the outcome and I honestly didn't feel it was believable but other people loved it. I guess my capacity for forgiveness is bad. I just couldn't do it. Just be warned. Here be triggers.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 4, 2023
Nikki and Kyle Sebastian have a good and loving marriage, but the one thing they don’t have and desperately want is children. When they were diagnosed with unexplained infertility they began doing rounds of IVF. With each failed round came emotional and financial debts and on the last round Kyle said if it didn’t work that was it he wasn’t going through any more rounds. Nikki is shocked by Kyles's statement because she believes getting the result far outweighs the emotional and financial stress. This is where the cracks in their marriage begin, but is their love for one another strong enough to get them through the toughest time they may ever have in their marriage?
Well, this book touched home for me in a big way. I’ve been on that emotional roller-coaster ride of IVF and it honestly is just that. I know this is a fiction book, but Diane Barnes has done a wonderful job of capturing the emotions of couples who struggle through these challenging times. Although this book was hard for me to read in spots I still thought it was very well written and I’m glad I stuck with it to the end. Highly recommended.
Well, this book touched home for me in a big way. I’ve been on that emotional roller-coaster ride of IVF and it honestly is just that. I know this is a fiction book, but Diane Barnes has done a wonderful job of capturing the emotions of couples who struggle through these challenging times. Although this book was hard for me to read in spots I still thought it was very well written and I’m glad I stuck with it to the end. Highly recommended.
June 2, 2023
Nikki & Kyle are going through IVF hoping to go from a couple to a family of 3 or more. The novel touches on the very emotional issue of infertility. Nikki becomes obsessed partly due to the hormones with wanting to try again but the choices fracture their once-stable union. Now burdened with suspicion, resentment, and further grief, their little family is falling apart.
The secret past between family and friends only opens up suspicion and reveals how things could possibly lead to an unexpected future.
An overall great read with a lot to think about as you can become so emotionally involved with how to handle so much of life’s disappointments and reality.
Family, affairs, grief, financial strain, separation, love and trust.
The secret past between family and friends only opens up suspicion and reveals how things could possibly lead to an unexpected future.
An overall great read with a lot to think about as you can become so emotionally involved with how to handle so much of life’s disappointments and reality.
Family, affairs, grief, financial strain, separation, love and trust.
December 11, 2024
2 Stars - it was okay
Personally, I didn't find the conclusion satisfying at all. Not once did the main characters say 'I love you' to each other. She said it in her thoughts, but never told him out loud, not on-page anyway. Same for him. For a man who cheated, got the other woman pregnant and regretted it, you would think he would have tried to convince his wife he loved her...without uttering those words? So weird for the author to think it wasn't necessary. I got none of what I wanted. No begging, no grovelling, no amends, no watching the MMC suffer the consequences. When they talked, he just pressured her into making a decision about how she wanted to move forward. He was keeping the baby (OW was giving it up for adoption), wanted her to raise it with him and wanted her to make a decision soon. He never even really tried to convince her to forgive him. No, he basically gave her an ultimatum. Accept the baby or goodbye. The fact that he decided to keep the baby BEFORE even discussing it with her first was rage-inducing. All the qualities he supposedly had, how devoted to her he had been, all that was off-page, in the past. He was a dick to her after he cheated (before she knew). Didn't act like a man who was full of regret, afraid of losing her. He left her, ignored her and gave her the first ultimatum: Stop IVF treatments or go their separate ways. So he was willing to leave her if she didn't stop trying to have a baby, and then he was willing to leave her again if she didn't accept the baby he was having from an affair! The effin nerve. Everyone around her pressured her into accepting it. It didn't take much to convince her to forgive and accept. I felt no love between them.
“The Lord works in mysterious ways. You wanted a baby, and now she’s offering you one.” It's not mysterious, it's cruel. As if the only way for her to have a baby was from her husband's cheating escapade. What a treat from the Lord! I always find this kind of mambo jambo incredibly eye-rolling.
Also, it was said he looked a lot like Blake Shelton. Ugh, no. Me no likey.
(Kindle Unlimited)
Personally, I didn't find the conclusion satisfying at all. Not once did the main characters say 'I love you' to each other. She said it in her thoughts, but never told him out loud, not on-page anyway. Same for him. For a man who cheated, got the other woman pregnant and regretted it, you would think he would have tried to convince his wife he loved her...without uttering those words? So weird for the author to think it wasn't necessary. I got none of what I wanted. No begging, no grovelling, no amends, no watching the MMC suffer the consequences. When they talked, he just pressured her into making a decision about how she wanted to move forward. He was keeping the baby (OW was giving it up for adoption), wanted her to raise it with him and wanted her to make a decision soon. He never even really tried to convince her to forgive him. No, he basically gave her an ultimatum. Accept the baby or goodbye. The fact that he decided to keep the baby BEFORE even discussing it with her first was rage-inducing. All the qualities he supposedly had, how devoted to her he had been, all that was off-page, in the past. He was a dick to her after he cheated (before she knew). Didn't act like a man who was full of regret, afraid of losing her. He left her, ignored her and gave her the first ultimatum: Stop IVF treatments or go their separate ways. So he was willing to leave her if she didn't stop trying to have a baby, and then he was willing to leave her again if she didn't accept the baby he was having from an affair! The effin nerve. Everyone around her pressured her into accepting it. It didn't take much to convince her to forgive and accept. I felt no love between them.
“The Lord works in mysterious ways. You wanted a baby, and now she’s offering you one.” It's not mysterious, it's cruel. As if the only way for her to have a baby was from her husband's cheating escapade. What a treat from the Lord! I always find this kind of mambo jambo incredibly eye-rolling.
Also, it was said he looked a lot like Blake Shelton. Ugh, no. Me no likey.
(Kindle Unlimited)
July 6, 2024
It took me a while to get hooked into this book. I attempted it a couple of times before but just never was able to get into it. I’m glad I did because it was an intense read that had me thinking about some serious matters.
The story is about a couple: Nikki and Kyle. They apparently are happily married and have been trying for a baby. After the third try, Kyle decides that maybe having a baby isn’t for them and he’s okay with it. Nikki, on the other hand, is adamant about having a family. She can’t see her life without a baby and she’s desperate to make it happen. Not only does she not want to adopt, she wants a child with her and Kyle’s bloodline. Money is tight and one more round of IVF just isn’t possible, but Nikki refuses to accept that. She tells Kyle what he wants to hear, that she too will accept that they are done trying. However, she ends up secretly taking money out of her 401(k) to pay for a fourth IVF and told him it was bonus money from work. Kyle accidentally finds out what she had done while trying to surprise her with their new outlook on life. She was willing to sacrifice their retirement money on a baby, but not only that, he lost his trust in her for lying to him. That tore him apart and he decides to stay away from her until they could figure out how to go forward either as a couple or separate people.
Hurt from the realization of what she’d done, Nikki tries to talk to Kyle, but he won’t have it. He’s moved on. Eventually, she realizes that being together was more important than a baby and reaches out to Kyle again to tell him about her decision. Things start to look up, until Kyle reveals that he’d slept with a woman while they were separated. Not only that, but the women is pregnant with his child. The woman isn’t ready to be a mother and wants to give up the baby for adoption. Kylie thinks Nikki could raise this baby as her own since she can’t get pregnant. Nikki is upset and refuses to forgive him, but she also loves him. She ends up making a decision that could benefit them both.
This was a roller coaster of a story, and I enjoyed it. The topic of IVF is always sensitive and emotional, and this story not only brought out the struggles a woman goes through in trying to conceive, but there’s also the added twist of “what if” something else happened. I can see how Kyle was ready to move on. It was an emotional strain on both of them, individually and as a couple. I found Nikki’s story to be realistic in how she dealt with the struggles of having to go through IVF. She got to the point of just wanting something so bad that she’d do anything for it. I also understood Kyle. I think after losing trust in someone and being sure that things would never go back to what it was, I could see how he slept with the other woman.
The story is about a couple: Nikki and Kyle. They apparently are happily married and have been trying for a baby. After the third try, Kyle decides that maybe having a baby isn’t for them and he’s okay with it. Nikki, on the other hand, is adamant about having a family. She can’t see her life without a baby and she’s desperate to make it happen. Not only does she not want to adopt, she wants a child with her and Kyle’s bloodline. Money is tight and one more round of IVF just isn’t possible, but Nikki refuses to accept that. She tells Kyle what he wants to hear, that she too will accept that they are done trying. However, she ends up secretly taking money out of her 401(k) to pay for a fourth IVF and told him it was bonus money from work. Kyle accidentally finds out what she had done while trying to surprise her with their new outlook on life. She was willing to sacrifice their retirement money on a baby, but not only that, he lost his trust in her for lying to him. That tore him apart and he decides to stay away from her until they could figure out how to go forward either as a couple or separate people.
Hurt from the realization of what she’d done, Nikki tries to talk to Kyle, but he won’t have it. He’s moved on. Eventually, she realizes that being together was more important than a baby and reaches out to Kyle again to tell him about her decision. Things start to look up, until Kyle reveals that he’d slept with a woman while they were separated. Not only that, but the women is pregnant with his child. The woman isn’t ready to be a mother and wants to give up the baby for adoption. Kylie thinks Nikki could raise this baby as her own since she can’t get pregnant. Nikki is upset and refuses to forgive him, but she also loves him. She ends up making a decision that could benefit them both.
This was a roller coaster of a story, and I enjoyed it. The topic of IVF is always sensitive and emotional, and this story not only brought out the struggles a woman goes through in trying to conceive, but there’s also the added twist of “what if” something else happened. I can see how Kyle was ready to move on. It was an emotional strain on both of them, individually and as a couple. I found Nikki’s story to be realistic in how she dealt with the struggles of having to go through IVF. She got to the point of just wanting something so bad that she’d do anything for it. I also understood Kyle. I think after losing trust in someone and being sure that things would never go back to what it was, I could see how he slept with the other woman.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 16, 2023
Won in a Goodreads giveaway ! Thank You!
Nikki and Kyle are a married couple who have been struggling with infertility. After multiple failed attempts at IVF they have used up their savings and Kyle's patience. Nikki wants to keep trying and makes a decision that causes a rift in the marriage that leads to the couple having to figure out what is really important in life. I understood the sadness that Nikki experienced with her failed attempts to get pregnant but she often seemed immature to me despite being almost 40. Kyle also made some major mistakes in the marriage and never seemed to suffer from the consequences. In addition to the fertility issues there were issues with Nikki's career and secrets about her family that changed how she came to see the world.
The author did a good job with creating believable characters and I found the book a quick and easy read but lacking some depth.
Nikki and Kyle are a married couple who have been struggling with infertility. After multiple failed attempts at IVF they have used up their savings and Kyle's patience. Nikki wants to keep trying and makes a decision that causes a rift in the marriage that leads to the couple having to figure out what is really important in life. I understood the sadness that Nikki experienced with her failed attempts to get pregnant but she often seemed immature to me despite being almost 40. Kyle also made some major mistakes in the marriage and never seemed to suffer from the consequences. In addition to the fertility issues there were issues with Nikki's career and secrets about her family that changed how she came to see the world.
The author did a good job with creating believable characters and I found the book a quick and easy read but lacking some depth.
January 2, 2025
yeah no
will-not-read
December 8, 2023It will NEVER be romantic to raise your spouse's affair child, particularly when you can't have children of your own.
I truly don't know how anyone can consider an ending like that a HEA.
I truly don't know how anyone can consider an ending like that a HEA.
June 12, 2025
Decent but predictable story. There was not a lot of character development.
3.25 stars
3.25 stars
December 2, 2023
A well-written, yet implausible story about lies and betray wrapped up in a pretty bow. Also, babies don’t solve marital problems.
January 13, 2024
This tale is rife with betrayals.The magnitude of these..betrayals comes into play as ethical parameters are weighed .Hence,naturally the option to forgive plays a significant role.Personally, I fail to understand why so many romance readers,especially cheating aficionados, consider the potentially cleansing path forward following absolution and the options this then assists,so egregous.There were many points in this story wherein had the character not chosen the higher road, misery likely would abound....as well as an ever shrinking option for that essential to the genre HEA.
We are all imperfect humans no matter our chromosomal makeup or what hormone rules.However, simply erring on the side of empathy does not mean one escapes the absolute breath stealing sucker.punch upon discovery that one's husband has shared himself and his genetic material (drunken one off...partly in consequence of her duplicity) when I am at my most infertile desperate.Penned exquisitely here, the.unspoken build up maximizes both tension and angst making for some pretty stellar plot dispersion.
The ow as it turns out is not some man thieving home wrecker and seeks to turn this around begging that the entire scenario be turned on its face ,optioning a process of resolution via perceiving her as a surrogate.
The final chapter seven years down the line ,revels the success of this manipulated family unit.Much more favorable than vengeance propagated isolation, the kind that is sequelae to hate filled retributive punishment of presumptive guilt, and retaliation ext.
I keep vacillating 3.5 or 4 stars...so somewhere in between..😂🤷
¿
We are all imperfect humans no matter our chromosomal makeup or what hormone rules.However, simply erring on the side of empathy does not mean one escapes the absolute breath stealing sucker.punch upon discovery that one's husband has shared himself and his genetic material (drunken one off...partly in consequence of her duplicity) when I am at my most infertile desperate.Penned exquisitely here, the.unspoken build up maximizes both tension and angst making for some pretty stellar plot dispersion.
The ow as it turns out is not some man thieving home wrecker and seeks to turn this around begging that the entire scenario be turned on its face ,optioning a process of resolution via perceiving her as a surrogate.
The final chapter seven years down the line ,revels the success of this manipulated family unit.Much more favorable than vengeance propagated isolation, the kind that is sequelae to hate filled retributive punishment of presumptive guilt, and retaliation ext.
I keep vacillating 3.5 or 4 stars...so somewhere in between..😂🤷
¿
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 17, 2023
This is my very first book by Diane Barnes. Nikki and Kyle have been wanting a baby for years. It wasn’t happening like they had planned so they tried IVF several times only to be disappointed. Of course this caused lots of problems but I was very happy with the ending. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this early release in exchange for my honest review. To be published November 2023.
January 2, 2025
3.5🌟 for this marriage-in-trouble/affair baby book. This was a tough listen for me. I didn’t care for the h much at all: I found her immature, self-centered, judgmental, and annoying. Infertility and its various treatments and/or alternative solutions can definitely lead to enormous challenges in relationships, which this novel highlighted with painful clarity. The h’s terrible decisions led to the H’s arguably worse and certainly more permanent decisions that caused the rift that lasted most of the book. Yuck. There’s not really an ending that could tie all of the issues up neatly and satisfactorily for every reader.
I think this might be a decent listen for folks who want to slog through the messy middle of marital strife, although you don’t get to see much of the actual repair happening. It might be geared more for chick lit fans who want to see some personal growth from the MCs. Overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges and all that. There’s not much romance to be found in these pages…so maybe that was the author’s intended angle?
At any rate, I appreciate the author for tackling these untouchable topics because this OG angst fan did get a nice gut punch a couple of times.
I think this might be a decent listen for folks who want to slog through the messy middle of marital strife, although you don’t get to see much of the actual repair happening. It might be geared more for chick lit fans who want to see some personal growth from the MCs. Overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges and all that. There’s not much romance to be found in these pages…so maybe that was the author’s intended angle?
At any rate, I appreciate the author for tackling these untouchable topics because this OG angst fan did get a nice gut punch a couple of times.
July 27, 2023
A moving portrait of a marriage in crisis, All We Could Still Have is a story of forgiveness, hope, and love. Any couple that has faced fertility issues or longed for a baby to bring home will relate deeply to Nikki and Kyle. Nikki, in particular, is such a relatable character. You feel her desperation and hurt with her as much as you do for her. Despite the heavy subject matter, I came away with a heartwarming feeling of possibility. Things don’t always work out the way we want them to, but that doesn’t mean things can’t still work out. There’s beauty in the unexpected.
April 18, 2023
I’m absolutely blown away. I have nothing but warm feelings toward this book and am so devastated that I have to leave Nikki behind as I’m finished with reading. It’s been a long time since I’ve considered adding a book to my “all time favorite” list, but this one is headed there. Delightful, absolutely delightful and heartwarming. So real, so raw, and just read it!
February 12, 2024
Pretty good and angsty cheating book if you’re into that trope (and I am).
December 27, 2025
YMMV and all that. KU. 3 stars for readable writing.
December 8, 2023
I Just finished All We could still have by Diane Barnes and here are my musings.
Nikki is desperate to become a mother, so desperate she doesn’t see the harm in putting her and her husband, Kyle, into debt they can never claw their way out of because having kids is priceless. Round after round of failed IVF doesn’t seem to phase her but Kyle is ready to pull the plug.
Not listening to anything he has to say, Nikki pulls money out of her retirement then lies about it. The betrayal sends Kyle over the edge and he walks away from their once happy and secure marriage.
Nikki has two choices, a life without Kyle or one where she forges a path ahead in a marriage that will be without a child of her very own.
TRIGGER WARNING. I rarely do this but as a mother myself, I feel anyone who is sensitive to relationship issues surrounding IVF failures, should do their homework before reading this book. Having said that, this book handles the topic with real care and attention to detail.
As you would expect from a book like this, the pace was very slow but it built a really strong narrative around Nikki which made the book very powerful and I love a good HEA story. The writing was much better than I was expecting which was a huge plus.
I am not a fan of Nikki and having an MC I am not fond of, makes it hard for me to connect with a book, but I actually found this was better for this book, I felt like I was watching it from a disconnected place which gave me a new and exciting perspective for the book. It was really sad and it made me have all the feels!!
It isn’t my normal read but I actually really enjoyed it.
4 stars
Thank you @netgalley and #lakeunionpublishing for my gifted copy
#allwecouldstillhave #dianebarnes #womensfiction #bookreview #bookblogger #bookstagram #bookishcommunity #readersofig #booksbooksbooks
Nikki is desperate to become a mother, so desperate she doesn’t see the harm in putting her and her husband, Kyle, into debt they can never claw their way out of because having kids is priceless. Round after round of failed IVF doesn’t seem to phase her but Kyle is ready to pull the plug.
Not listening to anything he has to say, Nikki pulls money out of her retirement then lies about it. The betrayal sends Kyle over the edge and he walks away from their once happy and secure marriage.
Nikki has two choices, a life without Kyle or one where she forges a path ahead in a marriage that will be without a child of her very own.
TRIGGER WARNING. I rarely do this but as a mother myself, I feel anyone who is sensitive to relationship issues surrounding IVF failures, should do their homework before reading this book. Having said that, this book handles the topic with real care and attention to detail.
As you would expect from a book like this, the pace was very slow but it built a really strong narrative around Nikki which made the book very powerful and I love a good HEA story. The writing was much better than I was expecting which was a huge plus.
I am not a fan of Nikki and having an MC I am not fond of, makes it hard for me to connect with a book, but I actually found this was better for this book, I felt like I was watching it from a disconnected place which gave me a new and exciting perspective for the book. It was really sad and it made me have all the feels!!
It isn’t my normal read but I actually really enjoyed it.
4 stars
Thank you @netgalley and #lakeunionpublishing for my gifted copy
#allwecouldstillhave #dianebarnes #womensfiction #bookreview #bookblogger #bookstagram #bookishcommunity #readersofig #booksbooksbooks
November 2, 2023
This was a really well written story with realistically flawed characters who both make mistakes and the aftermath that those mistakes cause in their marriage.
I will say I didn’t forgive the hero quite as easily as everyone else seemed to. I was furious with him and her family/friends who were happy to guilt her into “doing the right thing.” I will say I felt the ending of the story was right for both Nikki and Kyle - I just wish I’d seen more remorse from him, rather than his immediate expectation of forgiveness.
The supporting characters gave the story a rich, family centric feel and suited the complicated storyline.
I received an arc of this book.
I will say I didn’t forgive the hero quite as easily as everyone else seemed to. I was furious with him and her family/friends who were happy to guilt her into “doing the right thing.” I will say I felt the ending of the story was right for both Nikki and Kyle - I just wish I’d seen more remorse from him, rather than his immediate expectation of forgiveness.
The supporting characters gave the story a rich, family centric feel and suited the complicated storyline.
I received an arc of this book.
December 8, 2023
I received an electronic ARC from Lake Union Publishing through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.
I appreciated the beginning of this novel. about Nikki and Kyle’s marriage, and their struggles with infertility and IVF. However, the story became about family secrets. In my opinion, it became repetitive and drawn out. The ending seemed rushed.
I appreciated the beginning of this novel. about Nikki and Kyle’s marriage, and their struggles with infertility and IVF. However, the story became about family secrets. In my opinion, it became repetitive and drawn out. The ending seemed rushed.
November 12, 2023
This is a fictional story that deals with vwry sensitive unspoken issues of the rollacoster of repetitive failed ivf and the effects it has on the relationship and the individuals and the people around them. It tackles a painful reality and then tougher issues of affairs. Its an emotion read as you relate to rhe relationship ateuggles and see both points of views. The affair angle at times seemed ott and the outcome seemed to be too unrealistic in tge real world. I t fid make me feel happy though. I loved the cgarsctet devekopment vut it was slow paced to starg with which made ne steyggke to fet into the story but when i dud i absolutely loved it
Id recommend this for anyone who wants a reality check on the world. Thank you netgallery and publisher and author for a solid 5 star read.
Id recommend this for anyone who wants a reality check on the world. Thank you netgallery and publisher and author for a solid 5 star read.
November 10, 2023
All We Could Still Have, by Diane Barnes, invites readers think about family in a different way. It’s a heartwarming, well-written novel, centering around Nikki and Kyle who have been trying to have a baby through IVF without success. Not only is it putting a financial strain on their marriage, it’s driving a wedge between them. It causes both of them to examine what’s most important for their future, including whether that means together or apart. Nikki reaches a low, causing her to turn to her family and all she thought she knew only to discover a new way forward and a reimagined definition of family.
I was fortunate to be a beta reader for this book. I loved it, then, and I love seeing it in its final version. This is my favorite Diane Barnes book. If you enjoy books about flawed women who are learning, healing and growing amidst complex family stories, I know you will love this too.
I was fortunate to be a beta reader for this book. I loved it, then, and I love seeing it in its final version. This is my favorite Diane Barnes book. If you enjoy books about flawed women who are learning, healing and growing amidst complex family stories, I know you will love this too.
August 31, 2025
This was a compelling thought provoking story it touched on some real issues and I’m sure a lot can relate to this story. Definitely a great read.
April 7, 2023
Thank you Diane Barnes, Lake Union Publishing and NetGalley for allowing me to read this book early.
Spoiler free synopsis:
Nikki Sebastian desperately wants a baby. She hand her husband have been trying for years, with several rounds of IVF, to no success. That's when Nikki makes a decision that ends up affecting her and Kyle's relationship, leading to a dramatic change in their life.
Dislikes:
I found Nikki to be incredibly annoying in the first 1/3 of the book. However, I've never gone through fertility issues or felt that my life is incomplete without a child, so maybe I just can't relate to how she is in the beginning of the book. That being said, I do think the author should get credit for writing a character that manages to annoy me! Furthermore, I found the book a little predictable at times. The "twist" near the end didn't shock me at all, as I'd already predicted it. That being said, I do believe there are certain formulas that will always appeal to specific readers, and this might be one of them.
Likes:
Throughout the book, there are flashbacks sprinkled in, and I think those are written in very well. The transitions between present and past are smooth, and not confusing in the slightest. The friends and family drama is balanced with Nikki's story and her growth as a character - and she does grow and change throughout the course of the book, which I like. And I want the puppy!
Final thoughts:
This book was okay. It might appeal more to someone who can relate more to what Nikki is going through than I could, but all in all it didn't have any boring parts that I wanted to skip past, the chapters are short and quick to read, and the ending is sweet, connecting Nikki's past to her future.
Spoiler free synopsis:
Nikki Sebastian desperately wants a baby. She hand her husband have been trying for years, with several rounds of IVF, to no success. That's when Nikki makes a decision that ends up affecting her and Kyle's relationship, leading to a dramatic change in their life.
Dislikes:
I found Nikki to be incredibly annoying in the first 1/3 of the book. However, I've never gone through fertility issues or felt that my life is incomplete without a child, so maybe I just can't relate to how she is in the beginning of the book. That being said, I do think the author should get credit for writing a character that manages to annoy me! Furthermore, I found the book a little predictable at times. The "twist" near the end didn't shock me at all, as I'd already predicted it. That being said, I do believe there are certain formulas that will always appeal to specific readers, and this might be one of them.
Likes:
Throughout the book, there are flashbacks sprinkled in, and I think those are written in very well. The transitions between present and past are smooth, and not confusing in the slightest. The friends and family drama is balanced with Nikki's story and her growth as a character - and she does grow and change throughout the course of the book, which I like. And I want the puppy!
Final thoughts:
This book was okay. It might appeal more to someone who can relate more to what Nikki is going through than I could, but all in all it didn't have any boring parts that I wanted to skip past, the chapters are short and quick to read, and the ending is sweet, connecting Nikki's past to her future.
April 19, 2023
This novel touches upon an emotionally-laden, contemporary issue – infertility.
After failing to conceive “naturally,” Nikki and Kyle Sebastian turned to the medical community for assistance with dismal results – no pregnancy, maxed out credit cards, a debt of $50,000-plus, and a stressed marriage. When the third round of in vitro fertilization fails, Kyle is ready to call it quits, much to the dismay of his wife who is desperate to be a mother. The resulting consequences of betrayal lead to the potential end of their once-happy, stable union. Additionally, a long-held secret threatens to further upend Nikki’s life.
The author addresses the topic of infertility with sensitivity and compassion, illuminating how the dream of having a family impacts a couple as well as their friends and family. While I empathize with the issue, I did not find Nikki to be a sympathetic protagonist. Perhaps it was the effect of multiple hormonal treatments, but her decision-making process seemed flawed and even selfish to the detriment of her marriage. I was appalled at her sister’s uncaring attitude in first foist off a puppy on Nikki who was in crisis and then reclaiming it at her own convenience months later.
Overall, this was an interesting novel that kept me engaged throughout the emotional turmoil of Nikki and Kyle’s relationship as they came to a resolution of their differences. One cautionary note: Because of the nature of the topic, it may trigger some readers who have experienced similar circumstances.
My thanks to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing this book. The opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
This review is being posted immediately to my GoodReads account and will be posted on Amazon upon publication.
After failing to conceive “naturally,” Nikki and Kyle Sebastian turned to the medical community for assistance with dismal results – no pregnancy, maxed out credit cards, a debt of $50,000-plus, and a stressed marriage. When the third round of in vitro fertilization fails, Kyle is ready to call it quits, much to the dismay of his wife who is desperate to be a mother. The resulting consequences of betrayal lead to the potential end of their once-happy, stable union. Additionally, a long-held secret threatens to further upend Nikki’s life.
The author addresses the topic of infertility with sensitivity and compassion, illuminating how the dream of having a family impacts a couple as well as their friends and family. While I empathize with the issue, I did not find Nikki to be a sympathetic protagonist. Perhaps it was the effect of multiple hormonal treatments, but her decision-making process seemed flawed and even selfish to the detriment of her marriage. I was appalled at her sister’s uncaring attitude in first foist off a puppy on Nikki who was in crisis and then reclaiming it at her own convenience months later.
Overall, this was an interesting novel that kept me engaged throughout the emotional turmoil of Nikki and Kyle’s relationship as they came to a resolution of their differences. One cautionary note: Because of the nature of the topic, it may trigger some readers who have experienced similar circumstances.
My thanks to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing this book. The opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
This review is being posted immediately to my GoodReads account and will be posted on Amazon upon publication.
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