The Anger Toolkit: Quick Tools to Manage Intense Emotions and Keep Your Cool

by Matthew McKay, Peter D. Rogers, Ronald T. Potter-Efron

A quick-relief guide for calming anger in the moment—just when you need it most.

Do you struggle with problem anger? If so, you are far from alone. Sometimes anger can be a helpful emotion. It pushes us to stand up for ourselves or the people we care about—or to advocate for a cause we believe in. But sometimes, anger can become intense and overwhelming, and lead us to act in destructive or harmful ways—impacting relationships, work, and our health. So, how can you take charge of your anger before it gets the best of you?

Written by a team of anger experts, The Anger Toolkit offers evidence-based anger-cooling skills, exercises, and tools drawn from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). With this powerfully effective pocket guide, you’ll learn

Find calm right away with “emergency” anger management skillsUnderstand your anger, as well as your anger triggersGet unstuck from anger before it gets the best of youBe good to yourself by creating a life where your physical and emotional well-being are high priorities   If you’re ready to stop letting anger rule your life, this easy-to-use guide has everything you need to stay calm, cool, and in charge of your emotions.

Genres: Nonfiction

139 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 2, 2023

About the author

Matthew McKay, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, and author of more than 30 professional psychology and self-help books which have sold a combined total of more than 3 million copies. He is co-founder of independent self-help publisher, New Harbinger Publications. He was the clinical director of Haight Ashbury Psychological Services in San Francisco for twenty five years. He is current director of the Berkeley CBT Clinic. An accomplished novelist and poet, his poetry has appeared in two volumes from Plum Branch Press and in more than sixty literary magazines. His most recent novel, Wawona Hotel, was
published by Boaz Press in 2008.

Reviews

[Ann T · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 out of 5 stars.

This book really is an indispensable toolkit to help with anger. It is a really quick easy book to read, one that will be returned to again and again. The authors simply present what anger is, what to do (or not) when it arises and how to begin to heal and repair damage anger may be causing, I felt this book differs from others I have read on the subject, it was a huge standout for me. It quickly and simply provides tools and exercises to move from the damaging effects of displaced anger to self-compassion and kindness. It clearly explains the underlying issues beneath the anger felt especially guilt and shame. The exercises are simple for anyone to do and I can see the profound difference doing them can produce.

Highly highly recommended for anyone struggling with anger, anyone curious about this emotional and practitioners looking for useful recommendations for clients.

Thank you to the authors, New Harbinger and NetGalley for an ARC in return for my honest review.

[Shahd Radwan · Rating 3 out of 5]

انطلاقًا من قول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: {ليس الشَّديد بالصُّرَعة، إنما الشَّديد الذي يملك نفسه عند الغضب}، رحتُ أتجوّل فيما وراء الغضب من تحليلٍ نفسي وأسبابٍ خفية، ومن أنواعٍ وتصنيفات، وختامًا بالطب النفسي، إذ يقدّم الحلول السلوكية والمعرفية.
وفي هذا الشأن، قرأتُ كتاب “مجموعة أدوات الغضب”؛ لن تجد فيه ما يُثير ذائقتك اللغوية، ولا ما يستفزّ حواسك البلاغية، بل هو عرضٌ تحليليّ علميّ عن الغضب.
يبدأ في أولى فصوله بالحديث عن أسباب الغضب، ويُرجِع ذلك إلى طريقة تحليل العقل البشري للمواقف والتفاعل معها.
واستنادًا إلى مبادئ العلاج السلوكي المعرفي (CBT) والعلاج السلوكي الجدلي (DBT)، يقدّم لك وسائل وأدواتٍ مختلفة للتعامل مع لحظات الغضب.
ومن الطريف أن تلمس هذا التطابق بين العلم والدين، فتجد المؤلف مثلاً يشدّد على تغيير الوضع الذي أنت عليه بهدف تشتيت عقلك وتهدئته، والنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول قبل آلاف السنين: “إذا غضب أحدكم وهو قائم فليجلس، فإن ذهب عنه الغضب وإلا فليضطجع.”
ويختتم كتابه بفصولٍ تتناول شرحًا لما يجب فعله وقت الغضب للتعبير عنه، على خلاف ما اعتدناه من تعبيرٍ جالبٍ للمشكلات، كرفع الصوت أو المشاجرة مع الطرف الآخر. يفتقر الكتاب إلى أساليب الكتابة والتنسيق كافة، ونخرج منه حاملين فوائد مجرّدة كلّ التجريد من اللغة ومن التفصيل؛ إذ فضّل الكاتب الركون إلى عرض معلوماته بسطحيةٍ شديدة، وما إن أُمسك بطرف خيطٍ من فكرة حتى يُداهمني مقصّه فيقطع الخيط بفكرةٍ اخرى. لا أحب كتب تطوير الذات، ولا أنصح بها في العادة، بيد أن هذا الكتاب يتحدث من منطلق الطب النفسي، مما يميزه عن البقية في صنفه.

[J Kromrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an eARC of this workbook. I found this book to be a well thought out sensible plan for dealing with one's anger issues.

By addressing each step of the anger process as it develops (and by providing such EASY ways to subvert anger development) you give those of us who have this destructive trait (and it can destroy EVERY POSITIVE THING in a person's life) REAL HOPE for a brand-new outlook and future!

Additionally, the steps are not excessive (such as "document every calorie you eat every day for a year to lose weight) rather the recommended steps make sense and these steps are broken down to little pieces (like M&Ms, sorry, I am, a bit HANGRY today) rather than gargantuan tasks that anyone sensible would seek to avoid.

Item such as smiling and complimenting someone who makes us angry.

Just small steps that are EASY TO perform that get you into the habit (and it will take TIME) of slowly and painlessly start down that road of becoming someone you are PROUD of, the person you truly ARE under those layers of reactionary MESS.

Really, this book could be revolutionary - thanks to everyone who took part in it's development.

I am going to buy a print copy as soon as it is available, and I will USE it and keep it handy for quick reference and reminders.

Work to keep your anxiety low, as well as your blood pressure, get enough sleep and exercise (and food) and SMILE, we are truly in this TOGETHER!

Until next time!

[Megs_Ginelli · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Anger Toolkit offers skills, tips, and techniques for how to manage your anger. Anger is a common and necessary emotion that we all experience. There is nothing inherently wrong with anger- it is a signal. Anger can be useful. The problem is how we may react to anger, when it becomes intense and overwhelming.

This book covers a lot of CBT and DBT skills. The skills used in this book provide a road map for treating yourself and others with kindness and respect.

I really liked how the authors pointed out that chronic pain (something I have) can be a trigger for anger. Also they talked about anger turned inward- self-blame, self-sabotage, etc. There are some basic suggestions such as deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, as well as more in depth approaches like fair-fighting guidelines and ways to keep a disagreement from escalating.

A good introduction to anger management and presentation of indispensable skills.

My thanks to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[stephanie cox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anger Toolkit - Quick tools to manage intense emotions and keep your cool 4/5

As a parent to a teen who is also learning how to manage their emotions, I found this book to beyond helpful. I am in the point of my life where I am trying to be a better person, mother, wife and where I struggle the most is managing my emotions. Having a book that I feel confident in following and quick tools that are easy to remember and have shown to be helpful is a must.
I love the way the book outlines some topics such as breathing and relaxing practices, taking a time out, learning and understanding where your anger is coming from and being good to yourself. They are sections with lots of guidance and helpful tools to use to your advantage. I love that this is a guide that doesn't make me feel ashamed of my outbursts or backwards progress. A book that I can use and grow with as I am learning and growing myself.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

[Guritaungu · Rating 4 out of 5]

FYI…My job can be very demanding and can expose me to a lot of stress and conflict.I feel exhausted and overwhelmed for so many years, and also having interactions with people who have different perspectives can sometimes trigger my feelings of discomfort and anger. If you ever heard about, “sabar ku setipis tisu” or “sumbu pendek” that's so ME!

Honestly, "The Anger Toolkit" make a positive impact in my life. I find that certain techniques or strategies are particularly helpful. The book offers a range of strategies for managing anger in different contexts, including communication techniques, mindfulness exercises, and cognitive-behavioral strategies. By practicing techniques that suit me, I am able to manage my emotions and respond more effectively to difficult situations at work.

Do I recommend this book?

I highly recommend “The Anger Toolkit” book to anyone who is struggling with managing their anger.

[wonderfullyweird88 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is like a handy toolkit for dealing with anger—it offers quick and practical techniques to help you keep your cool when things start to heat up. And let's face it, anger can hit us fast and hard, sometimes leading to actions we regret later. That's why having these quick tools at your disposal is so important. They're like little lifesavers you can use anytime, anywhere to help you stay in control.

What I really appreciated about this book was how easy it was to read. The techniques are explained in a straightforward way that's easy to understand and apply to real-life situations. Plus, they're backed by solid research and practical wisdom, which adds to their credibility.

Overall, I found this book to be incredibly helpful, and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone looking for effective strategies to manage their anger. It's a game-changer for sure!

[Kimberly Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anger can be a very destructive emotion; wreaking havoc on your relationships. The Anger Toolkit is a valuable guide to learn how to manage anger. This book presents many different strategies to understand, manage, and prevent anger episodes. Some worthwhile strategies that are presented include the following: deep breathing, putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, using I statements, examining if you are tired or hungry, and looking at your core values. The aforementioned are only a select few tidbits presented in this book. This book was easy to read and the strategies were presented in a format that was easy to implement. I highly recommend this book. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance review copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Riley K. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be really helpful. Adding this to my toolbox when dealing with stressful situations.

[Kari Olfert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Straight forward, good tips/strategy.

[Elizabeth StClair · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very simple and straightforward book -- I got more out of it than I was expecting.

[Cristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some nice ideas and perspectives

[Jana Koblížková · Rating 5 out of 5]

Praktická příručka plná jednoduchých tipů, jak se vypořádat se vztekem nejen když přijde, ale i jak mu dlouhodobě předcházet a jak se vypořádat s následky.

Krátké, čtivě popsané techniky. Vypadá, že by to mohlo fungovat.

[alybro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been on a client-centered book kick recently and thought this one was really good! Written by several scientists & scientist practitioners, it’s filled with lots of specific and concrete strategies for dealing with anger and framing it as a complex and important emotion.

Pro: I like that it immediately starts with strategies to use in the moment, rather than starting with a ton of background or placing emphasis on other emotions.

Con: Each short chapter contains a different strategy, which is a nice structure, but I think there should be recommended guidelines to not breeze through the entire book because there’s too many things than can possibly be implemented at once. I can imagine how someone reading it might feel overwhelmed with all of the things to do, so it might help to start slow and only try 1-2 strategies per week or so.

[Alberto Fernàndez Sierra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfecto. Va a la idea con las explicaciones y las referencias a estudios pero es eminentemente un libro práctico y que requiere de compromiso con los ejercicios. Multitud de tablas para completar, ejercicios concretos en forma de diario personal, autocontratros simbólicos con uno mismo, etc. Y siempre con un extenso ejemplo para entender cómo completar cada ficha.

Recomendadisimo.