Contented Couples: Magic, Logic or Luck?

by Anne Power

What is the secret of a long and contented marriage? In this book, Anne Power interviews eighteen contented couples in the USA and the UK to discuss how they found each other and what made it work. As well as couples brought together by family arrangement or random romance, we meet those introduced deliberately by friends, or through agencies and the internet. Almost all the couples interviewed had faced major challenges along the way – but their attachment grew and relationships survived. In this book they tell us why. The author uses some of the questions she puts to new couples in What does an argument look like? How has sex been across the years? Who has grown up the most over their time together? What stopped them from becoming a divorce statistic? Woven through the book are expert, jargon-free explanations of how couples attach, how they fight and how they repair. Each chapter ends with questions which invite us to reflect on our own relationships and to benefit personally from this chance to eavesdrop on contented couples

224 pages, Paperback

Published August 23, 2022

Reviews

[Kirsty Turbott · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a wedding coordinator who has seen hundreds of couples get married, but who is single myself, I was really curious about this book. I was familiar with a few of the concepts covered but had never really thought about them in this context. While the book was slightly more academic than I initially thought, it was a really interesting look into different marriages. I especially liked how the author uses real stories from real couples. I would definitely recommend to anyone who wants an honest portrayal of marriage!

[Amanda Church · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the real stories in this book. It’s so interesting to hear how two individuals meet, and despite what life throws at them, manage to commit and stay together as a contented couple. I believe that those who are either in, or have been in a long-term relationship, will relate strongly to the stories of the eighteen couples interviewed for, “Contented Couples”. The book allows us to contemplate what constitutes a secure, avoidant, preoccupied, disorganised and insecure attachment, as well as the attachment bond, attachment figure and injury.

The interviews feel real in that there are the characteristic pauses, reflections, back-tracking, emotional expressions, gesticulations and observed facial expressions that are normally present. After each chapter there is a short list of questions, which are challenging, but if answered, could be extremely helpful. There is also a Glossary, clarifying significant concepts such as the Familiar and Fascinating, Withdrawer and Pursuer and Good Enough, which bring attachment theory to life. I found it useful to keep a bookmark where the couples are originally introduced and given their appropriate monikers, this allowed me to refer back as further details of their relationships unfolded. This is a very well written and detailed book.

[Joanna Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is beautifully written, exploring different couples’ relationships and breaking down different aspects of the relationship through a digestible, professional, therapeutic lens. Anne Powers takes the time to explain where certain theories come from and then incorporates this information into explain couples and their behaviours. Eighteen couples are interviewed through out the book, which gives the reader a real sense of presence and being in a relatable environment. It’s a wonderful book for anyone who is looking to grow their relationship.

[Liv Johanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow what a great book. This book is filled with knowledge and kindness, and is a shining light among all the books about love. Here challenges are accepted and appreciated, and the mechanics of a Good Enough couple is reflected around and explained, with great examples from couples who you come to know and love.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most insightful books about relationships for anyone seeking to understand how we bond with others on the basis of attachment theory and maintain positive, healthy long-term connections throughout our lives.

[Fran]

I clicked that I have read this book so I can write a note to myself in this review.
I have not been able to find it in large print.
If anyone I know reads this book, I would love to have them tell me about it.
I watched the TED talk of Anne power and wanted to know more

[Le Shepard - TherapyBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great resource for couples who haven't had examples of healthy relationships.