My Life Now: Essays by a Child Sex Trafficking Survivor

by Mary Knight

A unique survivor memoir. Essays that range from heartwarming to brutal. Individual trigger warnings (TW) allow readers to practice self-care. Washington State native Mary Knight, MSW, experienced various forms of child sex trafficking, sometimes in her own home. Her parents were her pimps. Knight's current life is filled with safety, love, joy, and children. Happily married, she is a child advocate, a foster parent, and a grandmother.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Essays, Biography

249 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 25, 2022

Reviews

[Mary Knight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please take care of yourself as you read my book. Each essay has a trigger warning. The book is not meant to be read cover to cover. I ask you not to read the essays that might be too triggering or troubling for you.

[Monica Benning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone experiences some sort of trauma in their lives, but familial and gruesome abuse, like she faced, seems almost impossible to tame. She spends the book showing us it isn’t. We weren’t strong, there was simply no other option; in adulthood is where our strength truly shines. Helping others, being a safe place for children (and adults), encouraging others to seek therapy, fighting for stronger child protection laws, knowing the signs of abuse and reporting them, being a good listener, an emotional support person, being open and optimistic, breaking the cycle.

Giving readers trigger warnings was exceptionally kind. I envisioned her, a thoughtful, maternal-like presence, protecting us; something she never had. I hope she knows she is the embodiment of what a lot of abused children were praying for. She is a savior.

[Lore LongSoulSystem · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartwarming story of finding joy in the simple things of life after major trauma.
Though I found the religious aspect a bit triggering, I totally can relate and make good use of all selfcare advices. Also I definitely will read the mentioned books, I might begin with "divorcing a parent", because I'm currently there.
Makes me hopeful. It was an easier read that I thought it would be, which is a relief.

[Lisa Swaren · Rating 5 out of 5]

"My Life Now" is a valuable companion to those who have secretly endured nightmarish childhoods. This book tells how one woman endured (and overcame) profound abuse and neglect. Graded trigger warnings along with helpful perspectives and accessible resources invite the reader to competently navigate a journey into wholeness. This book offers experience-based hope (to all) that a happy and fulfilled life is both possible and attainable.

[Amanda Mills · Rating 3 out of 5]

I give this book a 3.5. If it’s worth anything, I believe you ❤️

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's courageous to be that open about trauma and share these experiences which more often than not remain under the seal of speechlessness.
Whether for survivors or professionals, this artfully written book makes a good read, giving insights into various aspects of trauma: the dark corners of our society; the link between chronic pain and abuse which is still overlooked by medicine and science; the obstacles and repercussions survivors face when they disclose and, last but not least that healing is possible even if the traumatic events at hand seem unsurmountable.
What I like most about it is that despite dealing with horrifying content, it doesn't leave the reader shocked but rather with the feeling that there is hope for every survivor to somehow lead a fullfilling, happy life after having dealt with one's past.

[Russell Stagg · Rating 5 out of 5]

In My Life Now, social worker and filmmaker Mary Knight has penned a powerful series of essays about childhood sex trafficking and adult recovery. Some are narrative accounts, some concern investigations into sex-trafficking deniers, and others cover the many facets of sexual abuse recovery.
Knight's book begins with raw, painful stories of being sex-trafficked by her family from a young age. She details the painful and confusing process of recovering traumatic memories, something I am familiar with as a trauma therapist.
Next, Knight explains how her experiences led her to confront the now-discredited False Memory Syndrome Foundation in a documentary. She courageously interviewed a series of people connected with this organization for accused child molesters, one of whom claimed sexual abuse complaints were "a big to-do about nothing." Knight laments that society today is still affected by the group's propaganda.
Finally, Knight devotes many pages to an important issue for sexual abuse survivors: self-care. Topics include healthy eating, exercise, play, support groups, creativity, choosing a psychotherapist, and the healing activities she has included in her life.
My Life Now is inspirational, informative, helpful, and strongly recommended.

[Darlene Lekowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is one of those rare books that doesn’t just tell a story—it holds you while you read it. I loved it and couldn’t put it down where each essay pulled me in even more.

As a fellow survivor, I approached *My Life Now* with caution, unsure how much I could emotionally handle. What I didn’t expect was how deeply SEEN I would feel.

While Mary Knight’s abuse was different from mine—and in many ways more horrific—the emotional truths of her story were profoundly familiar.

Her reflections on delayed memory, survival, and learning to trust your own truth resonated with me on a soul level. She writes with extraordinary compassion, not only for herself, but for every survivor who might pick up this book.

This is not a book about suffering—it is a book about resilience, reclamation, and what it means to truly live after trauma. If you are a survivor, this book may help you feel less alone. And oftentimes, that is everything.

If you’re not a survivor, this book is also for you as it shows the resilience of how to get back up over and over again when life knocks you done. And how to move forward, focusing on who you were meant to be. I highly recommend My Life Now for anyone.

[Joyce Gibbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

The coverup is always worse than the crime. In this transparent memoir of essays, it is truly inconceivable the coverup. If it can be destroyed by the truth, then, it DESERVES to be destroyed by the truth.

It is unimaginable how despairing things incurred in Mary's youth. So horrific and traumatizing, her young brain deadbolted those horrendous dark memories away for decades.

When horrific childhood memories surfaced, no one accepted or believed Mary. To cover the truth of such family atrocities, family members smeared her name and reputation to deter from the fact that she was telling the truth. Shunned, ostracized, and called "crazy," family played victim, blaming Mary for lying when in reality, her family was the root of all evil.

Mary traveled a long, lonely road when no one validated or supported her claims of abuse, sex trafficking, killings, and so much more. Yet, her resilience and determination pushed onward until finally the monstrosities were taken seriously.

The truth hurts those who are guilty while heals those who expose the truth. God Bless Mary Knight for divulging a lifetime of secret hell.

[Joyce Aubrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mary Knights memoir gives readers an authentic and comprehensive view of the subtleties and the horrors of childhood neglect and abuse. Her brilliant decision to present a series of essays allows each reader to choose to read what is appropriate for her/him. Which essay you choose to read is based on the authors clear direction as to the degree of triggering revelations included in each essay. Although Ms. Knight endured the unspeakable in childhood, she has emerged in adulthood as (1) a leader in revealing abuse that has too long been shrouded in secrecy and disbelief; and (2) an effective advocate for the support of survivors and the prevention of future abuse. I highly recommend Mary Knights' memoir as well as her many videos, as an inspiration for survivors, a guide for therapists, and an eye-opener for the general public. Thank You Ms Knight for your bravery and your leadership. Joyce Aubrey, Author of Beyond Aftershocks: reclaiming self after sexual trauma and founder of the non-profit: Finding Our Voices.

[Kristin L · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Life Now is a series of Essays describing profound familial abuse, yet told with courage and resilience. The authors journey of healing and transforming her trauma into a full and loving life is a difficult read but also a valuable and unique guide for those who have lived through and are seeking a way to heal. The book describes the common experience of delayed memory and answers many questions about the body and mind's wisdom in trauma and provides trigger warnings and resources to help readers navigate the material sensitively according to their own tolerance. The author breadth of experience as not only a survivor, but as mental health professional and her willingness to share openly is a gift for those who have experienced childhood family trauma and desire to understand and find their own path to healing.

[Alice Perle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is a collection of standalone essays. It ends with 'Ruby's Heaven,' a fictional short story that I found deeply moving and imaginative. It captures the complex dynamics of a difficult mother-daughter relationship even beyond death. Mary’s vivid storytelling, brought to life by Regina Galbrick’s narration, left me feeling deeply touched and thoughtful. The creative premise of spiritual and emotional maturity in heaven is brilliantly executed, revealing the poignant truth that it’s never too late to grow and heal. As a survivor of trauma, this story offered me a powerful message of forgiveness, understanding and peace that resonated deeply, as I feel it will for anyone who has experienced trauma and longs for closure. It is a heartwarming and inspiring story.

[Armand King · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Life Now" by Mary Knight is a powerful and inspiring read. The author shares her journey as a child sex trafficking survivor through a collection of essays that are raw, honest and captivating. The book is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and provides a voice to those who have suffered in silence. It's a must-read for anyone looking to gain a deeper understanding of the impact of sex trafficking on its victims and to be moved to take action against this global issue. Mary's writing is powerful and her message is a call to action for everyone to stand in solidarity with survivors and to work towards creating a better future for all.

[Debra Shawver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am happy to give a positive review of this book. As a mental health professional, I can see this author's story as being very self-empowered, validating, and important for others to read. Mary's work is trauma-informed and may contribute greatly to the healing of readers. The message she shares of the ability to find love for yourself and to grow and live happily after trauma is so amazing and meaningful. Mary's story is a wonderful example and proof that healing is possible. Thank you for your work!

[Kathy Picard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mary’s Book is Amazing and Many will be able to understand the essays she write about. The thriving without Family, that forgiveness is not essential. Learning about the importance of delayed recall. So much to learn, connect with and truly understand in Mary’s essays. You will want to read over and over. Mary so happy that you have your soulmate Jerry in your life. Thank you for writing this gem of a must read!

[Sheryl Rindel · Rating 5 out of 5]

5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent Resource on Familial Childhood Sex Trafficking!
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 29, 2023
Mary’s book is an excellent resource for anyone trying to understand the devastating traumatic effects of familial childhood sex trafficking and the overcoming and healing that takes place through bravery, courage and “The Magic of Creativity” which by the way was one of my favorite chapters!

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an important book for anyone who has experienced childhood abuse. Not only does it tell Mary's story, but the book contains vital information for survivors who are recovering. As someone with C-PTSD, this book not only made me feel less lonely, it gave me hope and encouraged me to try new tools that have been an important part of my own wellness journey. I am so grateful for Mary's bravery and compassion in telling this story. I look forward to continuing to follow her work!

[Maria Socolof · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful and inspiring

Mary’s story shows how strong the human spirit can be and that it is possibly to break the cycle of abuse. She tells her story to bring light to many hidden truths of child sexual abuse and incest and provides encouragement to others in their healing journeys, no matter what trauma they may have experienced. I highly recommend this book.

[Joanne Groshardt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sexually abused children often hide the terror in their memories and remember them later as an adult. These memories, of the author, returned to her in her 30s, and she discusses her early past in horrific detail.

At first, you think, "No, that is not possible," but it's all true, and she lived it.

Later, in life, she overcame her past with therapy, God, and the love of life.

[R J · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful book of challenge, survival, courage, and hope. I was lost in the book as I finished it in one sitting. There were helpful suggestions and I was inspired to read how the author was able to confront, move on, heal and live her life in a meaningful way afterwards. Despite the heavy subject matter, the reading felt light and airy.

[Michelle Argyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone deals with trauma, but some trauma seems insurmountable. Mary's experience falls into that category. Her stories in this book are remarkable, filled with pain, but incredible hope. They come with trigger warnings just in case, which I found very thoughtful.

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!

I enjoyed this book throughly, it is thought provoking and I felt emotional during some parts of this book. Highly recommend for others to read.

[Judy F · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of sensitively written essays on the author's experiences with the brutal topic of child sexual abuse.

[Lou Brinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extremely repetitive, felt like every other sentence was an advertisement for something else she’d done as filler. Seemed to have very little actual content

[H P Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read over half of this book, and have found it to provide in-depth insight into the life of someone who survived incredible abuse as a child. I can only try to imagine the strength and courage that it has taken for Mary to process what happened to her and then to recount it in the manner that she has here. I know that humans sometimes do horrible things to other people, but there is no perspective quite like the firsthand account of the person who has incurred and survived the abuse that Mary suffered.

I would think that this book could be a huge help to survivors, professional therapists and people who want to better understand and support loved ones who have survived abuse in any of its forms. Mary’s trigger warnings for each section are well founded and should be heeded. Even though I have never suffered or witnessed anything that I would characterize as abuse, I had to take some pause after reading one of the most troubling sections, just to process what I had read and to prepare myself mentally for reading more of the book.

I have no doubt that Mary’s motivation in writing this book is to do whatever she can to help others who have survived abuse, or those who are trying to help survivors, as well as helping prevent or shortcut abusive situations that could impact additional lives. I believe that it would be an excellent tool towards those ends.

[The Lady Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

The concept of recovered memories was new to me before Mary Knight came into my world. I saw her on youtube doing an interview, and immediately followed her to her channel, then bought her book. Her documentary may have changed my life! I'm familiar with the concept of repressed memories, but somehow I didn't connect it to the concept of recovered ones. I guess I thought that if they were gone, they're gone. But realizing that they're stored somewhere in your brain, somewhere your brain thought was safe, means that you can possibly get answers to your PTSD/CPTSD/DID/OSDD etc. It's TERRIFYING when you actually go through it, but there is help. This book helps. It's triggering at times, but she gives trigger warnings before each chapter. It's difficult, but validating. The therapy I've been doing is of the IFS model, and it fits well with this. The process of uncovering trauma is really, really scary, but it's worth it to push through. It will improve your life in the end. Good luck. Be kind to yourself, and each other.

[Miriam · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book of believing yourself, pathway to healing, a survivor giving a voice of hope for all victims of childhood abuse. You can come through this journey of your truths being able to love yourself and heal. Had to read this book as I too was struggling with the reality of my truths. Understanding body pains, dreams, feelings, thoughts, memories, why I react the way I do, why I am. A MUST READ not only for survivors, also to educate all adults on the reality that is growing worldwide. The more it is spoken about, the more the light is shone brightly at this global atrocity, the more we all can be empowered to stop it.