I Always Will

by Jacqueline Ramsden

What happens when you get a second chance at first love?

When Alexandria met Hailey on their first day of secondary school, the last thing she was expecting was to become best friends with the chatty girl beside her. But friendship blossomed into first love, until different universities threatened to tear them apart.

Seventeen years later, Alexandria’s brother is set to marry one of Hailey’s employees, and their whirlwind romance drags Hailey and Alexandria back into each other’s lives.

Suddenly, all of the reasons they had for parting don’t seem compelling, and they can’t deny the attraction between them. But, with a wedding to plan, family in the way, and years of pain between them, will Hailey and Alexandria be brave enough to risk the hearts they’ve spent years protecting, or will they miss each other again?

I Always Will is an 80k second-chance, friends-to-lovers romance, featuring a return to hometown and the owner of a mashed potato bar. Content warnings for off-page homophobia, abusive family dynamics, including comments about weight, divorce, and off-page drinking/drunk behaviour.

Genres: Romance, Friends To Lovers, Lesbian, Lesbian Romance, Second Chance, Queer, LGBT

447 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 16, 2022

Reviews

[Diane (IF U'RE PRIVATE, PLEASE SKIP ME!!!) Wallace · Rating 3 out of 5]

**'It matters if you can tell a good story, just don't perceive that readers would enjoy anything on paper..'

2.5 stars!
An okay story at times --- just meh concept and chemistry...

[Conny B · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re a fan of slow-burn and friends-to-lovers-to-friends-to-lovers books then this book is THE One for you. I won’t say if you love mash, because seriously that’s not even a question. Then like the characters in this book everyone just loves mash. Lol

What we also get is a dual-timeline that describes how everything began between Hailey and Alexandria, why they lost touch and what happens when they meet each other again in the present. This worked for me most of the time. I say most of the time because there was one chapter where I was wondering if that one was really necessary in this part of the book. But this definitely didn’t make me enjoy the book any less.

I was cheering for the characters and wanted to push them not only once or twice, but several times. Too bad they never seem to listen to us readers. ☺️

For me Alexandria and Hailey just fit perfectly together. Hailey is the more outgoing person, Alexandria on the other hand is more controllers and reserved. All there characteristics lead to them bringing the best out of each other when they are together, but also when they were apart, which shows in things what they did when they were separated.

What we also get aside from a wonderful love story are great side characters in Hailey‘s employee Esme and Alexandria‘s brother Daniel. Especially Esme is hilarious. Even Alexandria‘s mum grew on me the longer the story went on.

Last but not least I wanna mention the fact that this story has a MC in Alexandria who isn’t thin. The way Jacqueline Ramsden has woven this fact into the story is wonderful because it is shown more than once that Alexandria is perfect the way she is. And of course the main reason she sees herself as perfect as she is is Hailey. 🥰

So but I better stop now and let you check out this story by yourself. I am definitely looking forward to Jacqueline Ramsden next book. Definitely an author who has grown on me very much and whose books are an automatic read for me. 🥰

I received an ARC of this book via booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Ashlee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hailey and Alexandria meet on their first day of secondary school and become the best friends we all aspire to have. As they go through that awkward adolescent phase and realize they'd like to be more than just friends they hit some road blocks as drama in both their families makes them question long term relationships. As they each head off to university they purposely fall out of touch but are both scarred from their abrupt end. When they are thrown together in a family wedding they slowly find themselves drawn back into one another.
I have really enjoyed all of Ramsden's work and will continue to pick up anything she writes and know that it will be a great story. I loved these two characters and their immense angst and uncertainty was so genuine. I could feel how their various family relationships affected their ability to believe in forever love and also their ability to communicate feeling effectively. Esme and Dan are such a breath of fresh air and provide both Hailey and Alexandria (under no circumstances Al) a view of what a relationship could really be for them. Their journey back to each other is slow and interspersed with flashbacks to their time in school and how they came to be as they are. This is a great book and I would absolutely recommend it to anyone looking for a slow burn second chance romance.

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friendship grows over time from Hailey and Alexandria's first meeting in secondary school. In time, complex feelings arise that when recognized are never fully expressed and are set aside due to family turmoil and expectations. Before going off to university they exchange meaningful parting gifts then the friendship ceases. Seventeen years later and a wedding between Hailey's employee Esme and Alexandria's brother Dan brings our lead characters back together.
The author's writing of their unhealed scars - how life for both women is unfulfilled - pulled me along. Old style mixed tapes become CD's burnt and journals multiply filled with emotions. Family drama weighs in along with some uplifting humor and eventually that deep attraction proves hard to contain and I was taken by the gradual build of the romance. Dan and Esme's joy and love for life is the perfect foil for the angst and slow burn love between Hailey and Alexandria with their mutual friend Farid playing cupid.
On a personal level and as a fan of potatoes in any form, the mashed potato restaurant featuring in the storyline made me smile with glee. I now have more ways to enjoys that beautiful tuber.
Jacqueline Ramsden has written another beautiful story that I easily recommend.

I rec'd a copy through Booksprout. My review is voluntary and completely unbiased.

[Misha · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sadly my last romance in Feb was also the most disappointing.

What I expected: slow burn, friends to lovers, good characterization.
What I got: Two fools who completely cut off contact because one of them wants to go a bit further afield to university. They continue to pine for each other for SEVENTEEN YEARS, still never initiate contact despite the fact that they date nobody else and constantly burn CDs and write in journals about the other. SEVENTEEN YEARS.

It was incredibly frustrating to me that we never get to even understand why they decided to cut off contact completely. Despite being inseparable as friends and then in a relationship together, at the first sign of any distance, they decide to never contact each other again for literally no reason.

Anyway, this book should have been half the length. I was skimming through the end as two 35-year-old queer women refuse to have one single conversation like adults after pining for each other for SEVENTEEN YEARS without contact. Absolutely perplexing that there is zero conflict and also zero communication or tension in this whole book. Incredibly let down.

[Kexx · Rating 4 out of 5]

More than once I said to the book: “Just get on with it!” Flashbacks dominated which I’m not sure always worked and the 15 year hiatus seemed odd. Good characters though.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘I Always Will’ captures the way that a first love will never truly leave your heart. I adore the way that Ramsden writes characters who you instantly care about and cannot help but champion them and their complicated love story.
Hailey and Alexandria meet on the first day of secondary school, become fast friends and soon something more. But as with all great stories; the course of love never did run smooth. The two young women drift apart, but when Hailey’s friend and Alexandria’s brother announce their wedding plans the two of them are quickly pulled back into one another’s lives.
This entire story felt so earnest and sweet that I really couldn’t wait to find out how Hailey and Alexandria navigated their past heartache. For me Ramsden really got that eternal turmoil over your first love so perfectly onto the page. ‘I Always Will’ is one of those stories that really stays with you because it is so relatable, heartfelt and utterly beautiful.

[Jos · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was much better read from this author for me. While it still had a bit of bumps, the story itself was quite sweet and the characters were not the normal lesfic stars.

There were some really neat attempts, with chapters alternating between past and present to allow us to see the relationship these two had rather than just telling. I also appreciated the acknowledgement of how long it had been since they were friends. Most of the return to hometown romances feel like childhood was just yesterday, diminishing the intensity of the pining and the importance of having two character pine for 15+ years. I liked that we knew when these two last interacted they were children, and now they are adults with established lives.

I also appreciated that we had fat love interest and we didn't shy away or soften her body type to make it more classically "attractive".

That being said, while the characters were 35 they communicated like they were 16. I also felt like there could have been at least another subplot going on to keep the pace a little more exciting. At about the 60% mark it felt like we were stuck in a bit circle, not enough pieces of the plot moving forward romance wise but then not a lot of other stuff to keep my attention.

While I did appreciate the glimpses of the past, it was awkward that the past did not follow a chronological order. If that was the case, I would have almost preferred if the past strengthened or enlightened us to what was going to happen in an upcoming chapter. Maybe expanded on feelings or perspectives we would be missing so that we could get the "whole" story as it unravels in the present.

Overall a pretty decent read. If you dislike communication issues this might be tough. Also I would say that if you have trouble with time jumps you might want to try this one with a grain of salt. While the jumps have dedicated chapters they don't follow a chronological order. Otherwise, give it a try if you want to read about British 35 year old's who had that classic sapphic best-friend falling out experience.

[Siddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A slow burn second chance with mash!

A second chance story about a love between Alexandria and Hailey which has lasted nearly two decades of separation. A very emotional story, many scenes of both women dwelling on the past, reliving their love, and wondering if the other still loves as deeply and misses as much.
The beginning was intense, and a bit dark, then chapter two jumping back to the first day of high school was a complete welcome change of pace. The time line in this story jumps around a lot, but as long as you keep in mind the date of each chapter and do the maths to work out their ages, it’s easy enough to follow.
The book is quite long, beautifully crafted, very slow burn but in a good way. The story is a typical second chance trope, but written in an exceptional way, to make the story interesting and often fun, always wanting to turn the page and read more. There are many wonderfully written parts to this story; the weddings, the wedding dress shopping… but my favourite of all, their first kiss is so beautiful, emotional and tear jerking.

[Milena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought the story was sweet and charming. We meet Hailey and Alexandria when they’re adults. The story goes back and forth from present to when they were kids growing up. The friendship they struck never went away since it actually changed to love. The past stories help us as readers learn things about each character.
We even get to know some family members and friends because of the past and present stories.
‘I Always Will’ is a slow romance that just is charming and sweet as can be.
Near the end of the book we are able to finally find out the wonderful reasoning of why this story was called ‘I Always Will’. What an inspiring way to end an emotional rollercoaster of a ride for Hailey and Alexandria.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Issy Waldrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've loved all of Ramsden's books that I've read so far, and this one is no exception. The opening chapter, with an excerpt from Hailey's journal really does set the tone for the story as we witness the story of two woman who fell in love at high school, but couldn't quite admit it then, and all of the pining, love and hurt that followed for the 17 years that they spent apart, till they meet again.

The story is told from both Hailey and Alexandria's pov, both present and from points in the past, from the time they met at high school, though it, and a little bit after. And it is penned so well. The little dance that they have - not sure what the other still feels but knowing very well how they do, and how well they still fit together - is both heart wrenching and endearing, and the energy of Esme and Dan is adorable. There is plenty of humor here too, and it fits so well into the story, along with all of the pain of the lack of acceptance of family members, and how they can have an effect on you.

I loved the story and thoroughly enjoyed the read. It made me smile, warmed my heart, and made me cry. I just wanted to keep reading, to see them get back together again, and to have something that they should have always had. For all the drama and pining that there is, the story is low angst, and an easy read. It wraps up well, though I wouldn't mind seeing a little more of their life after the end of the story. An easy one to recommend.

[Diane Beal · Rating 3 out of 5]

tedious

I really, really wanted to like this book, but it became so monotonous. I’ve never read an entire book centered around two people not communicating and instead repeating the same thoughts over and over in their mind. And almost nothing of substance happens in their lives for the 17 years they are apart to make the characters and story more interesting? Disappointing and in need of serious editing (no one needs to write the words ‘seventeen years’ so often).

[Kathryn Crowley · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you fit the stereotype of falling in love with your best friend you should read this.

This book reminds me so much of the first love of my life. Our relationship very similar and it made me super nostalgic and super sad at the same time. Probably because it hit where its hurts most.

Alexandria and Hailey reconnect when Alexandrias brother gets married to Haileys friend. Having both been mutual in love in HS (without telling each other (dumbasses)) they had a marriage contract for age 35. Now they reconnect at age 35 and neither are married oop.

What i loved about this book was that it had a dual timeline. We get to see the future and how they got there.

[Hosu · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5

Great slowburn with a whole lot of pinning

Still, I found absurd how long they were apart and the reason why of their distance.
It was foolish.

[Petrina Doyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I almost gave up reading this during the first chapter as the opening gambit from one of the MCs just seemed a little pathetic and creepy. But I stuck with it, and overall it was ok.

The exploration of the family dynamics that led to both main characters' struggling with their respective sexualities, their self-worth, their relationship to the world and with each other and, ultimately, their decision to break up first time round, was excellent and relatable.

But the MCs lack of communication with each other was frustrating, especially when they were literally being told by their mutual friend to talk to one another. One honest conversation between the two of them could have resolved everything instantly. The flashback to their 1st kiss when they were being shy, scared and awkward around each other made total sense because they were only 16 and realising the implications of their feelings. It made a lot less sense that two 35-year olds acted like this.

Also, whilst I empathised with the reasons for them breaking up at 18, it made no sense to me that they didn't reach out to each other once in the intervening 17 years when they had figured themselves out a little more. I ended up finding the HEA a little depressing because life is short and they wasted 17 years avoiding each other for no apparent reason.

Overall, I think there was potential here, and that some tweaks to the timeline, better communication between the MCs and an earlier resolution, would have made this really great.

[Michael Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haley and Alexandria have known each other since they were in school. They had formed a strong bond and they had written a contract that when they were 35 if they were not married they would marry each other. And they agreed to separate when they were 15 and now 20 years later they still have feelings for each other. I found the plot of the book very good and the characters we’re well written. each of them thought that the other was not interested in love or marriage. I found the drama, love, and emotion very good. I recommend this book for all who like a wonderful romance. I received a free copy of this book via book sprout and I am leaving a voluntary review .

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Mathilda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a bit torn on this book. I loved the setting and characters, set around a wedding that's throwing everyone for a loop. Esme and Dan were delightful, the relationship between Alexandria and her parents was well written and touching. And the yearning between Alexandria and Hailey was sweet as hell.

But two things really dragged the rating down for me.
1) I can excuse eighteen year olds being stupid and thinking it best to cut their losses, when they went to different universities. But these idiots yearned for each other for 17 years, complained to the same friend about it, and didn't manage to contact each other again without some romance-y circumstance for all that time?

2) Where was the intimacy? Discounting the epilogue, they touched a total of nine times (including the flashbacks) on the page in the book, six of them were in the last chapter. Which makes the progress in their relationship feel really flat. I do like a slow burn, but I need more in the end than some kindling.

[reeg ✌️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love anything Jacqueline Ramsden releases. Like I think about her last release (The Other Side of Leaving. Go read it after you read I Always Will) daily. While this wasn’t my favorite of Ramsden’s releases, I did really enjoy it. I’m a sucker for a second-chance story and I Always Will delivers. Alexandria and Hailey met on their first day of secondary school and became close friends. As they get older they realize their feelings for each other extend beyond friendship, but as they both go off to college, their friendship ends. Seventeen years later they are reunited for a wedding and of course, past feelings resurface, but who are we kidding, those feelings never really went away. Alexandria and Hailey are very sweet together. Using journals and mixed cds to capture their emotions in the years they were apart really hit me in my millenial heart. Their scenes together are charming and the slowburn is painfully good. I’m really starting to think Jacqueline Ramsden is the slowburn queen. I would definitely recommend this book and have been craving mashed potatoes since I started it. Fans of Jacqueline Ramsden won’t be disappointed.

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

So sweet

I had fun reading this one, all characters (but that one-or two?) were lovely and sorta quirky, the teenager MC were clueless cute, loved watching it happening, not the outcome though, because well, teenagers can be the dummiest people when they want. But the adult MC didn't let down, I really liked how they circled around each other trying to avoid dealing with the past, but they just couldn't et voilà, two lovebirds!

And ESME, she is the moment! She's a whole mood and I loved her for it. If I was into reading M/F stories I'd be pressing to have anything about her and Daniel.

[Ashleigh Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine you instantly connect with someone you meet at school. You become best friends, grow into teens, fall in love and....real life gets in the way for 17 years.
Now imagine seemingly randomly bumping into each other again and...nope, no spoilers for you, you'll just have to read the book to find out the who, why and how this ends cos that's the best part of this story. The writing style of the author coupled with the engaging main and supporting characters make this a must read romance for all those who can't resist a good HEA.

[Gina L · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can Your First and Only Love Ever Be Yours Again?

This was a sweet, heartbreaking book. Two young girls find each other and become best friends. Both harboring a secret crush on each other as they get older. Both make a mistake and say goodbye forever when it was time to go to University. Now they are both almost thirty five, a pact made when they were eleven hanging in the balance. Now brought back for a wedding, they both realize they have not moved on. Loved it!

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Past and present alternate in this book. The focus is on the special 'friendship' between Hailey and Alexandria that ended 17 years ago. Because they meet again, memories and feelings return. The book consists largely of thoughts. Many thoughts come back repeatedly. To such an extent that it is sometimes a bit annoying. It's also very slow, and the end is a little anti-climax, because you saw it coming miles away. But overall it is a nice enough story. 3,75 ⭐️

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

slowest burn

Why, oh why, are women so scared to tell each other they love them? Best friends who tell each other literally everything, yet cannot admit their love for each other. Not exactly angst, and yet… so these two women were meant to be together. There is a ton of family drama in this book, and a nice love story. Main and secondary characters are interesting.

[Ange Elson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful and funny story about first love

I’m not usually one for no spice, but this romance had me reading so late. Because what it lacks in bedroom scenes it absolutely delivers on the angst and headlines of first loves.

This gorgeously woven story about a first love that endures despite separation and time apart has me believing in true love in all the ways.

[SeVIIn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great Premise

I really enjoyed this book. Needs editing, but it's good. I think it's absurd how we drawn out the separation was. I gave it 3 stars because I didn't like that one of the main characters described themselves as fat. Just... no.

[may · Rating 5 out of 5]

living the dream living MY dream

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good read

A very sweet love story. Childhood sweethearts separated for seventeen years. Very good read the characters are likable and well developed. Thanks

[3DKing · Rating 4 out of 5]

Two best teenage friends made a marriage-pact. When a wedding puts them both back together in the same little town sparks and angst fly. It's another very cute, quite angsty story.