You Don't Have to Be Wrong for Me to Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism

by Brad Hirschfield

Conflict is an opportunity to learn and grow–and often to grow closer to one another.

Brad Hirschfield knows what it means to be a fanatic; he was one. A former activist in the West Bank, he was committed to reconstructing the Jewish state within its biblical borders. Now he is devoted to teaching inclusiveness, celebrating diversity, and delivering a message of acceptance. In You Don’t Have to Be Wrong for Me to Be Right , Rabbi Hirschfield uses his own spiritual journey to help people of all faiths find acceptance and tolerance, as well as a path to peace, understanding, and hope that will appeal to the common wisdom of all religions.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Judaism, Spirituality

288 pages, Paperback

First published December 31, 2007

Reviews

[Laura Duhan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book. Even thought I already agree with its philosophical and social message, I was enriched by reading it. I received deeper understanding of how to express my pluralistic views, as well as some techniques for dealing with the difficult interfaith situations I sometimes encounter in my work,

[Margie · Rating 2 out of 5]

So close to being a good book.
But he attempts to come at the topic from too many angles, and as a result doesn't do justice to any of them. Overall it's a bit too lightweight to convince anyone who doesn't agree with him, and also too lightweight to be interesting/intriguing for those who do agree with him. It's less than preaching to the choir; it's waving casually to the choir.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I tend to love any books I pick up written by Rabbis :)
This one was no exception. Sometimes its hard to rememember I am not the only one out there that believes in the acceptance of all religions.
And that loving and accepting one another is the true path to any path.
Awesome book! Perfect timing :)

[Vicky · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book to read to challenge your own ideas of truth and personal views. I really enjoyed reading the author's perspective and his personal stories on growing up and developing as a person. I mean he went from being the fanatic to being balanced in his views and being able to challenge himself. I felt the ending was a bit confusing but the overall message is very powerful and especially relevant to today. This was a great read!!!

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rabbi Hirschfield talks about his background and his journey to his current profession. An interesting book about how to view and have conversations on controversial topics in a rational calm manner.

[Brett · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book was well written. However, with most education and self-help books, I find that the information is over after the first 40-50 pages, and the rest of the book is just reiterating the same point repeatedly as filler.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had some interesting, thought provoking parts, but overall not one I will likely read again.

[Sherrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

On a recent visit to family out of state, my husband picked up a copy of Rabbi Brad Hirschfield's book, You Don't Have to be Wrong for Me to be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanatacism.
I thought it an unusual choice for Bob as he usually leans toward action, mystery, intrigue and science fiction in his reading. Yet, within a couple of hours, he's telling me how much he likes what he's reading. He's even sure I'm going to enjoy reading it.

When we returned home, I made a point to check the book out from our local library to see if Bob was in fact correct in his assumption. And I'm here to report that he was. I very much enjoyed Rabbi Hirschfield's perspective on religion in today's world and political climate.

Rabbi Hirschfield has tackled in 248 pages what has been sought after for centuries -- the ability to dialogue about our religious beliefs without debasing or demoralizing the other party for his or her differences. He shows how we can actually begin to reach a level of understanding between ourselves when it comes to faith that no one has to be wrong . . . we each have the right to be right about our own personal story without the implication by another that we are wrong because of their individual beliefs. It is a refreshing read and well written.

The following quote found at page 198 is a perfect summation of this work:

"The absence of conflict is not the height of relationship. When we feel deeply, conflict is part of the process of loving, and so, too, is the willingness to be there for each other and nurture each other.

Nearing the end, I must admit that the narrative became a little dry and it was a tough finish to get to the last page, but all in all, I think the eager individual looking for an understanding of how to present your faith to another without draining your spirit and that of another will find it in these pages.

[Bert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, was a wonderful book. I don't recall how I came across this book in the first place (a common theme that I need to rectify), but it probably had much to do with the fact that I find so little compassion, respect within religions for the "other guys".

I have always felt that in any situation (not just religion), if there is a "have vs have-not" or an "us vs them" mentality, there is always something missing, something weaker than it could be, weaker than it has to be.

This is by far my favorite book with a religious theme, ever. The author (a Jewish Rabbi) has some of the most beautiful thoughts and opinions I have ever heard on a number of topics.

He is real; he is compassionate; he is brave; and most importantly he is willing to admit when he was an idiot, and when he not up for some challenging situations (but his threshold for being wise and courageous is way beyond that of most folks, including myself).

I have no plans to convert to Judaism, but when faced with so many "ours is the only way" experts, it was completely refreshing and encouraging to experience someone who is able to embrace the thought that the passions which others have in their faith should absolutely be respected.

Only ding I have is that this book is not available in Kindle format, but in no way is that going to affect my rating. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to everyone.

[Trisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book caught my eye as I was walking by some bookshelves of a library. The title lets you know this is a book that isn't going to look down upon you if your ideas, beliefs, and lifestyle are different. I dived in. The best part of the book can be found in the introduction and chapters one through four. I found a lot of good practices for a broad audience. He has a pattern of telling a story. Then offering ideas based on his experience. After chapter four, Brian goes into a court case which isn't as exciting as his previous stories, but it pertains to what he is saying in that chapter. The rest of the chapters went like that for me. Fortunately, he sums up everything he says at the end of each chapter, so you can still get the message even if you don't like the particular story.

[Ari · Rating 5 out of 5]

"More love, more acceptance, and more mercy for everyone"

“You don’t have to be wrong for me to be right” is insightful and courageous. Brad Hirschfield shows us the acceptance and mercy one can have in embracing humanity and extending our respect to people with different faith backgrounds. Using personal experience and patient explanation, Hirschfield makes clear his message: the creation of a harmonious world where different beliefs and religions can coexist does not equal to the sacrifice of values we uphold, on the contrary, it allows us to treasure spirituality and humanity more deeply. As he titled his book, you don’t have to be wrong for me to be right – this is a vision where we can be win-win, a mission for the real world peace that everyone dreams of. Highly recommended.

[Melea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rabbi Hirschfield has written one of the few books, that I think need to be required reading by all thoughtful persons. This is all about engaging others in thoughtful, and respectful dialogue. Just because I may not agree with someone I need to respect their rights as human beings (with the free will, that I believe God gave to all) to have their opinions. Once I take the need to be right out of the picture, and respect other people's need to express themselves then maybe we can begin to create a better world for all of us, and for our precious children. I could pick out quote upon quote to recite, but instead I respectfully suggest that this book be read and pondered with an open mind.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

In his youth, the (American-born) author was part of a hard-core right-wing settler group in Israel. A particular incident forced him to rethink his priorities. Now, many years later, he's an ordained Orthodox rabbi & a copresident of
CLAL (The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership). He's written a thoughtful & sometimes wordy book on religious tolerance & on respecting other faiths besides one's own. For me as a reader, he was preaching to the choir, but he did raise some new points.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I bought this book, I joked that it would become my interfaith bible, and I think it has! I know that I will struggle with people (both friends and strangers) who I disagree with, but I have this book's teachings to remind me of the importance of recognizing the humanity of everyone -- especially those who disagree with me. This book is a wonderful mix of realism and idealism that combines stories (both from Hirshfield's life and Jewish tradition) and ideas in a profound, often humorous manner.

[P. Es · Rating 2 out of 5]

Namby pamby. Throughout the book he defends engagement with people we might find ourselves radically at odds with, which is all well and good. One personality he celebrates, Mo Hassan, who sought with his wife to create a "spirituality both genuinely Islamic and deeply American" - just beheaded his wife. Not sure what Rav Brad going to do with that one. Both dumb, illogical and good things are said in this book.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great book about listening to one another, but I am afraid that it felt like he was preaching to the choir. The people likely to read the book are the ones that are already more likely to be open to listening to other perspectives. I enjoyed seeing his strategies though.

The book was written in a conversational style so was very easy to read.

[Harrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books that every person of faith should read. Our faith and our belief systems have much to do with our perspectives and our experiences. This is a well written work, and it doesn't matter what your faith tradition is, please read this one book.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very insightful and refreshing. Rabbi Hirschfield has a very global perspective and encompases the dignity of all people. Not to mention I love how he can relate just about every religious teaching to something in pop culture, like Dr. Suess! I would highly recommend this book.

[Ann Bredemeier · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this for a book club and we had such interesting discussions that I wanted to have this in my personal library. It is very thought-provoking and can change perspectives if we just take the time to evaluate each situation. Way to create discussion and not alienation.

[Gilberto Del Vecchio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great call to one’s awareness of his/hers bias… a call to respect, learn from others and find ways to be inclusive, try to understand and most importantly being open to learn from others walk of life! Why the urge of always being right, and even worse, prove others are wrong? Great read!

[Mollie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was well written, interesting, and entirely following my line of thought. so clearly I loved it.

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title says it all.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title says it all. My hope for the next generation. Not just tolerance but respect for the views and beliefs of others.

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am enjoying this book so far. I am learning about the Palestinian Israeli conflict and also about finding ways that we can all talk to one another and respect each other's opinions.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I admire the rabbi's faith and his ability to maintain it while still asking questions and allowing that maybe he isn't right. I want a faith that strong.

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Learned that it is possible for people who are not fanatics to get along with each other. Just wish there were fewer fanatics in the world.

[faramir10]

I'll take paperback, also.

[Donna]

Lots to live by. Helps you follow your faith, and helps you to see the world's faithful as all part of God's world.

[Barak · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kumbaya

[Geetha · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent one