Velcome

by Kevin O'Malley

No rattling bones about it. There's never been a horror book like this one before. A madcap spoof on tales of terror, this clever meeting of broomsticks and slapstick, monsters and mischief is so funny, it's scary. Just how funny, you ask? Let's just say a "RIP"ping good time is in store for those who know a good joke (or a devilishly bad one) when they hear it. And, how scary? This comedy of horrors promises to leave even cowards screeeaaming for more. Completely original, wickedly zany, this hilarious tongue-in-cheek collection of silly spine tinglers and spooky rib ticklers is Kevin O'Malley at his ghoulish best.

Genres: Picture Books, Halloween, Childrens, Humor, Juvenile

32 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

There is more than one author by this name on Goodreads.

Kevin O'Malley is the co-author and illustrator of the popular Miss Malarkey series as well as the award-winning Once Upon a Cool Motorcycle Dude and the national bestseller Gimme Cracked Corn and I Will Share. He lives in Baltimore, Maryland.
He also has visited hundreds and hundreds of schools.

Reviews

[Mir · Rating 4 out of 5]

HAHAHAHA!

Man, these stupid puns really take me back to childhood.

[Connie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book full of "scary" stories and jokes.

Actually, they're the corniest things this side of the great state of Nebraska. I'm not spoiling much if I tell you that the Viper makes an appearance. You know - he vants to vash and vipe your vindows?

Yeah. That's about the level for all of these. The only sane man is the poor beleaguered dog, who constantly holds up signs indicating how much he thinks you should NOT look at those scary pictures (vegetables and your report card) and how those jokes are so funny he forgot to laugh. (He storms out at the end of the book.)

Okay, so you won't be that amused. You've heard all of these before. Repeatedly.

But if your kid is at that just-right age for getting jokes, I bet this one will be a big hit.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

“So if you are the kind of person who hears bumps in the night or who dreads putting a hand over the edge of the bed ... I suggest you read no further.”

Word play abounds in these four short stories told by a creepy narrator who thinks his stories are scary. But try as he might, he’s just not going to scare the reader ... just ask the dog.

Cute

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a not-scary book of word-play and groaners. The visual humor and conversation-bubble warnings from the dog add to the success of this unique picture book. Some students look for scary and horror type books around Halloween. It will appeal to them, while being quite mild and silly.

[Kest Schwartzman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the kind of jokebook I woulda loved as a ten year old. It's... not very good, but i didn't have very good taste.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book incorporates humor with some elements of scary. I can see that some children would enjoy this type of book but probably not appropriate for all children.

[Jessica Plowman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a funny book!

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not exactly what I was expecting. Kids might think it's funny.

[Laurel Wilder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had so much fun reading this book with my class during the Halloween season. It’s definitely meant to be read aloud and not silently. It’s an absolute blast when done that way!

[Lokita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I, a thirty-something woman, spent at least fifteen minutes laughing like a lunatic at these utterly terrible spooky puns. I love this stupid book.

[Lprecht · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfect for a quirky story time. Campy.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

No rattling bones about it. There's never been a horror book like this one before. A madcap spoof on tales of terror, this clever meeting of broomsticks and slapstick, monsters and mischief is so funny, it's scary. Just how funny, you ask? Let's just say a "RIP"ping good time is in store for those who know a good joke (or a devilishly bad one) when they hear it. And, how scary? This comedy of horrors promises to leave even cowards screeeaaming for more.

Completely original, wickedly zany, this hilarious tongue-in-cheek collection of silly spine tinglers and spooky rib ticklers is Kevin O'Malley at his ghoulish best.

Absolutely entertaining and so dumb it is hilarious. Be sure to read it with your best Vampire accent and don't neglect reading the signs the dog offers for you. Yuck it up good as it makes it even funnier. Great pictures that feed into the suspense.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Velcome is just a book for students to play with and enjoy. It is a scary and humorous story that allows for a wonderful read aloud that could include sound and light effects as well as letting students explore it on their own. This would be a great model for students writing their own scary writing.

[Miss Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

The visual jokes make me chuckle right off. The arrow pointing to the copyright info with the disclaimer "warning, this is the most intelligent part of this book" made me laugh in one big blast like a random human trumpet.

Kids who like bad jokes and punny stories will be the perfect audience for this book.

Very cute.

[Jacinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picture Book: It was pretty cute, all though it wasn't as creative as I would have liked it to be. It was a retelling of silly ghost stories. It might be cute to have in the classroom, but it's also a little hard to read out loud because there are speech bubbles which always makes it tricky to figure out what to read when.

[Leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Corny spooky stories that end up not being spooky at all. My new favorite pun came from this book: You go into the bathroom American and you come out of the bathroom American but what are you when you're in the bathroom? European!

[Gwnhwyfer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Velcome by Kevin O'Malley is a picture book of 4 short "scary" stories (note the emphasis on scary - if you've ever read anything by O'Malley before, you'll understand... ;) as well as a page of "scary" jokes/riddles. Excellent book for the squeamish at Halloween.

[Paula · Rating 2 out of 5]

An illustrated collection of scary stories with humorous endings, featuring such elements as a boy being followed home by a coffin, a rapping noise in a haunted house, and strange intruders at the front door.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE THIS BOOK! This is a great story to share with students because it has some suspense and scariness, but then the stories are resolved and it's not frightening. I loved having this book read to me, and I think all students will love it.

[Cami Putnam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious book! I just read this to both the kindergarten and 4th grade for Nevada's reading week. Had the kids rolling on the floor. The 4th grade cheered when I was finished. This is a favorite book for sure!!

[Joe Hunt · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is terrible. Not funny at all.

I finished it and thought: "Who is this guy? He has to be a celebrity, just trying his hand at children's books--like Madonna or Seinfeld..." I don't get it.

[Brittany Harrington · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great, very short, stories for the kids to enjoy - along with some spectacularly cheesy jokes. Perfect for a read-aloud.

[Christi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny scary stories and other things that are just plain scary to a kid. Fun illustrations. Good for kids that find real scary stories just a little frightening.

[Jeanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Collection of stories and jokes that are supposed to be scarey and funny. A couple are pretty good. Others are pretty corney.

[Lindsey Stronczek · Rating 5 out of 5]

This "horror" book is combined with humor that will have kids laughing for days. O'Malley takes scary stories and twists them so you will end up laughing your head off. Kids will love these stories.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would be a fun "scary" (funny) book for school visits. It's a collection of stories/jokes... some are better than others.

[Kellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love tame "morbid/scary" things and this children's book is a perfect introduction into this little gothic world of ours without scaring the beejeezus out of them.

[Kira Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

So Funny!!! I remember this book from when I was a child. It was a great read then and I plan to use it when I begin to teach my own students.

[Aaron Noll · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this to 3rd graders in library class today, as I do every year at Halloween. They love it! Kevin O'Malley has a truly awesome, and thoroughly odd, sense of humor.

[Tracey · Rating 2 out of 5]

great illustration... that's about it