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Eighteen Seconds
My mother once said to me, ‘I wish you could feel the way I do for eighteen seconds. Just eighteen seconds, so you’d know how awful it is.’
I thought about it. Realised we could all learn from being in another person’s head for eighteen seconds. Eighteen seconds inside Grandma Roberts’ head as she sat alone with her evening cup of tea, us girls upstairs in bed. Eighteen seconds inside one-year-old Colin’s head when he woke up in a foster home without his family. Eighteen seconds inside the head of a girl waiting for her bedroom door to open.
Writer, Louise Beech, looks back on the events that led to the day her mother wrote down her last words, then jumped off the Humber Bridge. She missed witnessing the horror herself by minutes.
Louise recounts the pain and trauma of her childhood alongside her love for her siblings with a delicious dark humour and a profound voice of hope for the future.
I thought about it. Realised we could all learn from being in another person’s head for eighteen seconds. Eighteen seconds inside Grandma Roberts’ head as she sat alone with her evening cup of tea, us girls upstairs in bed. Eighteen seconds inside one-year-old Colin’s head when he woke up in a foster home without his family. Eighteen seconds inside the head of a girl waiting for her bedroom door to open.
Writer, Louise Beech, looks back on the events that led to the day her mother wrote down her last words, then jumped off the Humber Bridge. She missed witnessing the horror herself by minutes.
Louise recounts the pain and trauma of her childhood alongside her love for her siblings with a delicious dark humour and a profound voice of hope for the future.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
250 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 27, 2023
111 people are currently reading
428 people want to read
About the author
Louise Beech
20 books353 followersAlso publishes under Louise Swanson.
Louise Beech is the author of eleven novels and a memoir, Eighteen Seconds (2023). Her debut, How to be Brave, was a Guardian Readers’ Pick; The Lion Tamer Who Lost shortlisted for the Romantic Novel Awards 2019 and longlisted for the Polari Prize the same year; Call Me Star Girl was Best magazine’s Book of the Year; This Is How We Are Human was a Clare Mackintosh Book Club pick; and the audiobook of her memoir, Daffodils, shortlisted for the Audies23. Her thrillers, End of Story and Lights Out, are written as Louise Swanson; the former was chosen by Sophie Hannah as a Book of the Year in the Daily Mail, and the latter was reviewed by The Times. Her debut play, How to be Brave, toured Yorkshire venues in 2024. Wonderful will be published 1st June 2026.
Louise also writes as Louise Swanson.
Louise Beech is the author of eleven novels and a memoir, Eighteen Seconds (2023). Her debut, How to be Brave, was a Guardian Readers’ Pick; The Lion Tamer Who Lost shortlisted for the Romantic Novel Awards 2019 and longlisted for the Polari Prize the same year; Call Me Star Girl was Best magazine’s Book of the Year; This Is How We Are Human was a Clare Mackintosh Book Club pick; and the audiobook of her memoir, Daffodils, shortlisted for the Audies23. Her thrillers, End of Story and Lights Out, are written as Louise Swanson; the former was chosen by Sophie Hannah as a Book of the Year in the Daily Mail, and the latter was reviewed by The Times. Her debut play, How to be Brave, toured Yorkshire venues in 2024. Wonderful will be published 1st June 2026.
Louise also writes as Louise Swanson.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 79 reviews
December 1, 2022
Louise Beech has built a reputation for moving and thought-provoking novels, each one an original treat in itself. This, however, is not a novel, but a true and moving account of a fight for emotional and psychological survival. If ever there were proof that behind every smile there is not necessarily always a world of sunshine and light, then Louise Beech is it. Her smile is hard won. It is that of someone who has not had it anywhere near easy and has emerged with dignity, compassion and most of all a great sense of humour aimed at putting others at ease. Because, despite everything, it is always her concern for others that shines through, for making sure everyone is OK, a maternal instinct that perhaps flourished at an early age when any maternal presence was at best unreliable, at worse, harmful. Daffodils is at times a harrowing story but it is also a story of survival, and of blossoming, like the eponymous daffodils. Coping mechanisms of dark humour and solidarity between siblings give an indication of how such an upbringing can be withstood - how we all should withstand by sticking by one another and looking after each other. The memoir begins with the shocking account of her own mother's suicide attempt and takes us back to a chaotic, often confusing childhood. Reading it I was moved to tears, given the kind of belly ache that comes with unease, made to ache with sympathy and also to laugh. Authors lay themselves bare in their fiction, but Louise has made the even braver decision to lay her life down in memoir. To listen to this story is to be reminded not to judge a book by its cover and to always, always be kind.
November 15, 2022
I’ve known and admired Louise Beech for several years. One of her novels, The Lion Tamer Who Lost, was nominated for the Polari Prize, which I founded over a decade ago. I also interviewed Louise recently for my podcast We Can Be Heroes, where we talked about our troubled childhoods. So I had some idea of what to expect from her memoir Eighteen Seconds, which will be published by Mardle Books in April (and was formerly released in audiobook form with the title Daffodils).
But nothing prepared me for the emotional impact of this book. It has everything - childhood trauma, heartache, healing and the choices we make as writers whether to “go there” or not. Louise certainly goes there – and I’m glad she did. This is an unflinchingly honest account of growing up in a dysfunctional family with a mother who is unable to mother. (In this sense it has echoes of the late Deborah Orr's memoir, Motherwell).
Like the descriptions of daffodils which open each chapter, the love between Louise and her siblings shines through the book like rays of sunshine between heavy clouds. You feel for them and want better for them. In the end, it does get better - on their terms. But the journey is tough and laced with love, loss and black humour. The WhatsApp group chat between the siblings is often hilarious, even in the darkest of moments.
This is a brilliant read - and an important one. As many of us know, sometimes our biological family isn’t enough. Sometimes a parent isn’t deserving of that title. It takes immense courage to admit this, to make changes and to grow. In this book, Louise shows us just how much she’s grown - both as a person and as a writer. I’m so proud to know her.
But nothing prepared me for the emotional impact of this book. It has everything - childhood trauma, heartache, healing and the choices we make as writers whether to “go there” or not. Louise certainly goes there – and I’m glad she did. This is an unflinchingly honest account of growing up in a dysfunctional family with a mother who is unable to mother. (In this sense it has echoes of the late Deborah Orr's memoir, Motherwell).
Like the descriptions of daffodils which open each chapter, the love between Louise and her siblings shines through the book like rays of sunshine between heavy clouds. You feel for them and want better for them. In the end, it does get better - on their terms. But the journey is tough and laced with love, loss and black humour. The WhatsApp group chat between the siblings is often hilarious, even in the darkest of moments.
This is a brilliant read - and an important one. As many of us know, sometimes our biological family isn’t enough. Sometimes a parent isn’t deserving of that title. It takes immense courage to admit this, to make changes and to grow. In this book, Louise shows us just how much she’s grown - both as a person and as a writer. I’m so proud to know her.
April 19, 2023
m not sure what drew me to this memoir by author Louise Beech but I’m so glad, which is a strange thing to say about such a touching and horrific memoir.
This book will not be for everyone, it deals with mental health issues, abuse, suicide and fractured families, that said this is such an uplifting book, and what comes from reading it, is hope, hope that through the darkest of times, we can overcome and find joy and love in those around us, that support us and love us for who we are, not what we’ve been through.
Louise Beech writes with assured honesty and dark humour ( I’m just going to add here that growing up with a chronically ill Mother, my Brother and I have learnt this art, an example…when our Mum used to go to the local chest hospital ( she had chronic asthma ), there was a sign on entering saying “Dead Slow”, well us being kids laughed at it, and I remember my Mum also laughing but my Dad got very cross with us all!), in fact, I actually felt Louise coming off the pages and talking just to me. What an absolute talent, to be able to look back and write of past and current horrors BUT move forward and learn to work through the very situations and emotions that can floor anyone, to survive and become an excellent writer is amazing, to have used writing as a way of dealing with some of the awful things that happened to Louise and her siblings, is such an uplifting event.
My overall feeling when I had finished Eighteen Seconds was that I just wanted to find Louise Beech and give her the biggest hug ever! Not because I feel sorry for her but because I’m in awe of her talent and ability to move on with her life in such a positive way. obviously, I’m not able to do this, but should I ever meet Louse Beech I shall definitely give her a huge Jude hug!.
A touching, heartfelt, moving, horrific and uplifting memoir and well deserving of 5 Stars
This book will not be for everyone, it deals with mental health issues, abuse, suicide and fractured families, that said this is such an uplifting book, and what comes from reading it, is hope, hope that through the darkest of times, we can overcome and find joy and love in those around us, that support us and love us for who we are, not what we’ve been through.
Louise Beech writes with assured honesty and dark humour ( I’m just going to add here that growing up with a chronically ill Mother, my Brother and I have learnt this art, an example…when our Mum used to go to the local chest hospital ( she had chronic asthma ), there was a sign on entering saying “Dead Slow”, well us being kids laughed at it, and I remember my Mum also laughing but my Dad got very cross with us all!), in fact, I actually felt Louise coming off the pages and talking just to me. What an absolute talent, to be able to look back and write of past and current horrors BUT move forward and learn to work through the very situations and emotions that can floor anyone, to survive and become an excellent writer is amazing, to have used writing as a way of dealing with some of the awful things that happened to Louise and her siblings, is such an uplifting event.
My overall feeling when I had finished Eighteen Seconds was that I just wanted to find Louise Beech and give her the biggest hug ever! Not because I feel sorry for her but because I’m in awe of her talent and ability to move on with her life in such a positive way. obviously, I’m not able to do this, but should I ever meet Louse Beech I shall definitely give her a huge Jude hug!.
A touching, heartfelt, moving, horrific and uplifting memoir and well deserving of 5 Stars
September 4, 2023
This is a stunning memoir by a hugely talented and prolific author whose success has been hard-won. Here, Louise Beech explores a childhood marred by abuse and its resulting trauma.
I’m a big fan of Louise Beech’s fiction, of which I’ve read several works, but I’ve never read anything quite like this book. I haven't met Louise, but having followed her on social media for years, she comes across as the most generous of souls, always smiling her signature expansive red-lipsticked smile and championing other authors. It is this compassionate personality that shines out from the pages of this memoir.
When her mother’s neglect begins, it is a very young Louise who steps into the breach to take care of her siblings. And their words too appear in this memoir.
It is a profoundly moving and devastating story, cleverly rendered. I found myself wanting to reach into its pages and hug young Louise for living through what no child should have to endure. And yet despite this, there is much light in this book too – Louise’s darling grandma; her caring uncle; the often dark humour that her siblings share, and of course, Louise’s saviour – her writing. We learn about the many knockbacks she had as she tried to make it as a writer, but nevertheless she kept going. And how lucky we are that she did.
This is a must-read for anyone trying to make sense of parental neglect and manipulation, but above all, it is a story about love. Heart-wrenching yet inspirational, this is a triumph of a book.
I’m a big fan of Louise Beech’s fiction, of which I’ve read several works, but I’ve never read anything quite like this book. I haven't met Louise, but having followed her on social media for years, she comes across as the most generous of souls, always smiling her signature expansive red-lipsticked smile and championing other authors. It is this compassionate personality that shines out from the pages of this memoir.
When her mother’s neglect begins, it is a very young Louise who steps into the breach to take care of her siblings. And their words too appear in this memoir.
It is a profoundly moving and devastating story, cleverly rendered. I found myself wanting to reach into its pages and hug young Louise for living through what no child should have to endure. And yet despite this, there is much light in this book too – Louise’s darling grandma; her caring uncle; the often dark humour that her siblings share, and of course, Louise’s saviour – her writing. We learn about the many knockbacks she had as she tried to make it as a writer, but nevertheless she kept going. And how lucky we are that she did.
This is a must-read for anyone trying to make sense of parental neglect and manipulation, but above all, it is a story about love. Heart-wrenching yet inspirational, this is a triumph of a book.
December 1, 2022
This is like no other of Louise Beech's books
Her memoir starts with a chilling opening scene; her mother jumping off the Humber bridge and what follows is a deeply moving exploration into her complicated and often confusing childhood
Her family is torn apart when the children are placed in care but what comes across is her maternal, nurturing and protective instincts towards her siblings
It is a sad story of a difficult childhood but it is also uplifting and offers hope
Louise Beech has writing in her DNA, whether it is fiction or non fiction
She has a beautiful way with words and I'm so grateful that writing became her therapy at a young age
A difficult story told in such a moving way
Her memoir starts with a chilling opening scene; her mother jumping off the Humber bridge and what follows is a deeply moving exploration into her complicated and often confusing childhood
Her family is torn apart when the children are placed in care but what comes across is her maternal, nurturing and protective instincts towards her siblings
It is a sad story of a difficult childhood but it is also uplifting and offers hope
Louise Beech has writing in her DNA, whether it is fiction or non fiction
She has a beautiful way with words and I'm so grateful that writing became her therapy at a young age
A difficult story told in such a moving way
January 11, 2025
I picked this memoir up by chance after a therapy session, ironically enough.A therapy session for bereavement by the devastating suicide of my beautiful sister.i dont usually read memoirs,I prefer to escape and get lost in fiction.memoirs are truths,fact,often full of sharp,jagged bits that you dont want to immerse yourself in as you cant escape by telling yourself,ah,its fine,no one actually got hurt,its fiction.that doesnt mean that I'm a psychopath with no empathy(I hope!)but just that I find real life difficult and uncomfortable in its truth.And I feel others pain.
Anyway,picked the book up,read abit,kept putting it down telling myself nope,I dont want to read this painful truth,someones painful truth.but,I couldn't actually put it down.
I could relate to so much of Louise's and her siblings truth,her families truth.it resonated with me.Echos of my own childhood and past,my own trauma.
And what I absolutely loved ,aside from the brutal honesty was the humour.wicked,dark humour,just like myself and my sisters have too!The type of humour that others can find inappropriate and which myself and my sisters use in the most inappropriate times.
And I believe that type of humour is a gift,a blessing.Abit like bubble wrapping yourself when life gets difficult and messy and hurts like absolute hell.
I could see alot of myself in louise.i too was the eldest.i too chose to end my relationship with my mother to protect myself from further harm.And it's not an easy decision to make.
Louise and her siblings should be proud of themselves,their adult and child selves,proud of their achievements,their lives that they have built for themselves without much guidance,love or care.Just as I am proud of myself and my siblings too.
This memoir enabled me to find and connect with "little me" and now I can start working on reparenting her in a healthy,kind,nurturing way.
Anyway,picked the book up,read abit,kept putting it down telling myself nope,I dont want to read this painful truth,someones painful truth.but,I couldn't actually put it down.
I could relate to so much of Louise's and her siblings truth,her families truth.it resonated with me.Echos of my own childhood and past,my own trauma.
And what I absolutely loved ,aside from the brutal honesty was the humour.wicked,dark humour,just like myself and my sisters have too!The type of humour that others can find inappropriate and which myself and my sisters use in the most inappropriate times.
And I believe that type of humour is a gift,a blessing.Abit like bubble wrapping yourself when life gets difficult and messy and hurts like absolute hell.
I could see alot of myself in louise.i too was the eldest.i too chose to end my relationship with my mother to protect myself from further harm.And it's not an easy decision to make.
Louise and her siblings should be proud of themselves,their adult and child selves,proud of their achievements,their lives that they have built for themselves without much guidance,love or care.Just as I am proud of myself and my siblings too.
This memoir enabled me to find and connect with "little me" and now I can start working on reparenting her in a healthy,kind,nurturing way.
April 10, 2023
I opened this book a few days ago with a view to reading the Author's Note then going back to finish my current read before properly embarking on Louise Beech's life journey, via Eighteen Seconds.
I failed.
From that first, introductory page, I was drawn in and felt compelled to read on. By the end of just the second chapter, Louise had already opened up and allowed us to see some of her fears and vulnerabilities.
Narrating her own story in a frank but chatty manner as she considers and discusses the various events that have shaped her, it was obvious from early on that it would be a deeply personal memoir and a rollercoaster ride for both her and us readers.
As you move through the book, which is written using the aftermath of her mother's recent suicide attempt as a backdrop from which to look back at her childhood, teenage and adult life, this rollercoaster ride continues. Recollection of both poignant and traumatic, distant and more recent memories from Louise and her siblings are shared, interspersed with humour (often dark) as a coping mechanism to lighten the mood. The events that cannot be personally recalled, only coming to light through care records and the like, or those still buried deep inside, only give an extra depth to the neglect and abuse that was part of the life of these four children.
Louise's innate caring and nurturing personality shines through via her unwavering love for her younger siblings (which is clearly reciprocated), as does her need to love and be loved and also her need to be needed. That she never received love in return from her own (chronically depressed, alcoholic and probably narcissistic) mother is heartbreaking. Thank goodness for the solidity of Grandma Roberts' love and for Uncle Edwin and his support and voice of reason in recent years.
Mental health is a consistent message throughout the book - including the anxiety and lack of self-worth felt by the siblings as children, teens and into adulthood, and how it manifested. The importance of looking after your own wellbeing and mental health, in whatever form that takes, is highlighted regularly from a adult perspective with reminders of how this isn't possible for children without a voice.
Eighteen Seconds was not an easy read. It was never going to be. I'm glad I read it though. It's so important to understand how childhood trauma can impact people - physically, mentally, behaviourally - not only as a child but into adult life. I also understand much more now how important finding a release can be and, specifically, how writing has always been that release, that saviour, for Louise.
Throughout this memoir, it becomes clear just how often the real-world has influenced her fiction; this has given me a new perspective with which to reread her novels, which I already adore for their deep understanding and exploration of human emotions and relationships. Before reading it, I'd hoped that writing Eighteen Seconds, and telling her own story, had been cathartic for her; it is now apparent that this applies to more than just this memoir.
Thank you for letting us in, Louise 💕
I failed.
From that first, introductory page, I was drawn in and felt compelled to read on. By the end of just the second chapter, Louise had already opened up and allowed us to see some of her fears and vulnerabilities.
Narrating her own story in a frank but chatty manner as she considers and discusses the various events that have shaped her, it was obvious from early on that it would be a deeply personal memoir and a rollercoaster ride for both her and us readers.
As you move through the book, which is written using the aftermath of her mother's recent suicide attempt as a backdrop from which to look back at her childhood, teenage and adult life, this rollercoaster ride continues. Recollection of both poignant and traumatic, distant and more recent memories from Louise and her siblings are shared, interspersed with humour (often dark) as a coping mechanism to lighten the mood. The events that cannot be personally recalled, only coming to light through care records and the like, or those still buried deep inside, only give an extra depth to the neglect and abuse that was part of the life of these four children.
Louise's innate caring and nurturing personality shines through via her unwavering love for her younger siblings (which is clearly reciprocated), as does her need to love and be loved and also her need to be needed. That she never received love in return from her own (chronically depressed, alcoholic and probably narcissistic) mother is heartbreaking. Thank goodness for the solidity of Grandma Roberts' love and for Uncle Edwin and his support and voice of reason in recent years.
Mental health is a consistent message throughout the book - including the anxiety and lack of self-worth felt by the siblings as children, teens and into adulthood, and how it manifested. The importance of looking after your own wellbeing and mental health, in whatever form that takes, is highlighted regularly from a adult perspective with reminders of how this isn't possible for children without a voice.
Eighteen Seconds was not an easy read. It was never going to be. I'm glad I read it though. It's so important to understand how childhood trauma can impact people - physically, mentally, behaviourally - not only as a child but into adult life. I also understand much more now how important finding a release can be and, specifically, how writing has always been that release, that saviour, for Louise.
Throughout this memoir, it becomes clear just how often the real-world has influenced her fiction; this has given me a new perspective with which to reread her novels, which I already adore for their deep understanding and exploration of human emotions and relationships. Before reading it, I'd hoped that writing Eighteen Seconds, and telling her own story, had been cathartic for her; it is now apparent that this applies to more than just this memoir.
Thank you for letting us in, Louise 💕
May 12, 2025
Wow! What a beautiful memoir by this hugely talented author whose success has been nothing short of utter love and dedication to writing and hard-won. Louise Beech explores a childhood aided by the most heart wrenching abuse resulting in such trauma.
I’m just a huge fan of Louise since reading her novel ‘End of Story’ and since meeting her at a bookish event which took place in the lovely town of Beverley, a stones throw from my home city. What drew me most to Louise was her warm and vibrant smile and that bloody good Yorkshire accent of hers, I just knew straight away from listening to her that she was home grown not too far from myself.
After reading this memoir by Louise I am just in awe of her. How can someone be so warm, welcoming and have the biggest smile after all she and her siblings went through in their childhood? After all for me her it is the compassionate personality and huge bright smile that outshines anything the most.
It’s heartbreaking to read the difficult childhood that Louise and her siblings have endured through their mother’s neglect and addiction to alcohol. No child should ever have to take over the role of their mum at the young age of 4 and look after their siblings. Whilst reading this memoir all I wanted to do was reach into the pages find Louise, her twin sisters and younger brother and just give them a huge hug and tell them they were going to be ok.
Whilst this was utterly heartbreaking to read, the humour and laughs that it brought along the way with the texts shared between them including their uncle was absolutely hilarious and just the humour I enjoy to be around.
Louise, what a woman you are and I am so happy after all you have been through that now you are truly happy and have the success you do.
I’m just a huge fan of Louise since reading her novel ‘End of Story’ and since meeting her at a bookish event which took place in the lovely town of Beverley, a stones throw from my home city. What drew me most to Louise was her warm and vibrant smile and that bloody good Yorkshire accent of hers, I just knew straight away from listening to her that she was home grown not too far from myself.
After reading this memoir by Louise I am just in awe of her. How can someone be so warm, welcoming and have the biggest smile after all she and her siblings went through in their childhood? After all for me her it is the compassionate personality and huge bright smile that outshines anything the most.
It’s heartbreaking to read the difficult childhood that Louise and her siblings have endured through their mother’s neglect and addiction to alcohol. No child should ever have to take over the role of their mum at the young age of 4 and look after their siblings. Whilst reading this memoir all I wanted to do was reach into the pages find Louise, her twin sisters and younger brother and just give them a huge hug and tell them they were going to be ok.
Whilst this was utterly heartbreaking to read, the humour and laughs that it brought along the way with the texts shared between them including their uncle was absolutely hilarious and just the humour I enjoy to be around.
Louise, what a woman you are and I am so happy after all you have been through that now you are truly happy and have the success you do.
August 20, 2023
I’m not usually a fan of memoirs, but the subject of mental health is something which has affected, and continues to affect, my family personally, so I was keen to see how Louise wrote about it.
This book is raw, honest, harrowing, sometimes even funny! But essentially heart warming and endearing.
And in the typical form of the author, it’s extremely well written.
4 stars ⭐️
This book is raw, honest, harrowing, sometimes even funny! But essentially heart warming and endearing.
And in the typical form of the author, it’s extremely well written.
4 stars ⭐️
August 15, 2025
Meet our very own local author, Louise Beech/Swanson, in this memoir. Meeting Louise in Beverley back in March 2025 left me in awe of her bubbly personality and what an incredible author she is!
I’m so sorry to hear about the difficult upbringing you had and the challenges you’ve faced navigating life, not just for yourself but also for your siblings. It was an eye-opener to learn about someone’s past and how much goes on behind closed doors. It’s also concerning how understaffed and underfunded the NHS is, particularly the mental health services. I know this firsthand from a family member who is still struggling to get the help and support she needs.
You’ve turned your life around and achieved your dream of writing, something you’re so passionate about. You’re such a role model to those around you, and your children are incredibly lucky to have you as their mum.
You are truly inspirational, Louise! ✨
5⭐
I’m so sorry to hear about the difficult upbringing you had and the challenges you’ve faced navigating life, not just for yourself but also for your siblings. It was an eye-opener to learn about someone’s past and how much goes on behind closed doors. It’s also concerning how understaffed and underfunded the NHS is, particularly the mental health services. I know this firsthand from a family member who is still struggling to get the help and support she needs.
You’ve turned your life around and achieved your dream of writing, something you’re so passionate about. You’re such a role model to those around you, and your children are incredibly lucky to have you as their mum.
You are truly inspirational, Louise! ✨
5⭐
April 27, 2023
We never know what is going on inside someone's head, we may think we do but its impossible to truly know another person's thought processes. However, in Eighteen Seconds, writer, Louise Beech, lays bare her thoughts and feelings as she shares this very personal account of her life, from her upbringing by a narcissistic, and negligent, mother, to the time when, in 2019, her mother jumped off the Humber Bridge, in a tragedy, which has had long lasting repercussions.
Eighteen Seconds is not an easy book to read and there were times when I had to stop and take a breather but there was never a second when I wasn't emotionally involved especially when the saddest moments of the author's life were shared in heartbreaking detail. Any personal memoir can sometimes feel intrusive and uncomfortable but Eighteen Seconds is none of these things. With skilful writing, which this author does so well, we are given a unique glimpse into her life, and that of her siblings, which is, at times, raw, brave and brutally honest, however, there is also tremendous energy, and the family's wry sense of humour and the obvious love between the siblings, brings some light relief. Tremendous credit must therefore go to the author for bringing the minutiae of her life into sharp focus and for allowing us a privileged glimpse into her family's painful past.
Over the last few years Louise Beech has written some of my absolute favourite novels, her writing is beautifully empathic and her ability to bring her characters to life is remarkable. It is humbling to now know that during some of her darkest days she was writing the novels which have come to mean so much to so many people.
Eighteen Seconds is not an easy book to read and there were times when I had to stop and take a breather but there was never a second when I wasn't emotionally involved especially when the saddest moments of the author's life were shared in heartbreaking detail. Any personal memoir can sometimes feel intrusive and uncomfortable but Eighteen Seconds is none of these things. With skilful writing, which this author does so well, we are given a unique glimpse into her life, and that of her siblings, which is, at times, raw, brave and brutally honest, however, there is also tremendous energy, and the family's wry sense of humour and the obvious love between the siblings, brings some light relief. Tremendous credit must therefore go to the author for bringing the minutiae of her life into sharp focus and for allowing us a privileged glimpse into her family's painful past.
Over the last few years Louise Beech has written some of my absolute favourite novels, her writing is beautifully empathic and her ability to bring her characters to life is remarkable. It is humbling to now know that during some of her darkest days she was writing the novels which have come to mean so much to so many people.
December 12, 2022
I will start this review by declaring that I am a huge Louise Beech fan. She has an easy way with words & a lightness of touch when she tells a story, which I was glad of, as this story is a true one. And a heartbreaking one.
It’s the story of Louise & her siblings. A story of love, resilience, humour, family and ultimately, survival. Louise shines a light on the past and examines it as best she can. She tells her story, using the limited written records (how frustrating the redacted accounts must have been) and her own memories, alongside accounts from her sisters, brother and uncle. It is testament to her writing that I feel like I know this family, and I hurt for them.
Saying that, the narrative is told with a dark humour that partly lightens the story & an honesty that is matter of fact. It’s a story that will stay with me for a long time.
Thanks to Kaz Harrison at Ad Lib for the advance copy.
It’s the story of Louise & her siblings. A story of love, resilience, humour, family and ultimately, survival. Louise shines a light on the past and examines it as best she can. She tells her story, using the limited written records (how frustrating the redacted accounts must have been) and her own memories, alongside accounts from her sisters, brother and uncle. It is testament to her writing that I feel like I know this family, and I hurt for them.
Saying that, the narrative is told with a dark humour that partly lightens the story & an honesty that is matter of fact. It’s a story that will stay with me for a long time.
Thanks to Kaz Harrison at Ad Lib for the advance copy.
September 25, 2023
A catharsis for the writer.
March 21, 2023
Eighteen Seconds is a powerful and haunting memoir writer, Louise Beech, looks back on the events that led to the day her mother jumped off the Humber Bridge. She recounts the pain and trauma of her childhood alongside her love for her siblings. This is a heartbreaking account of their lives and the hardships they endured. It’s not a simple read by any stretch of the imagination. It’s raw, tragic and brutally honest. The story is heartbreakingly sad, but it offers hope and inspiration to those in a similar situation.
Even when Beech recalls some of the saddest moments in her childhood, she injects dark humour into the story. Some readers may find this odd or unusual, but it’s obviously a tool the family used as a coping mechanism in the darkest of times. The respect and love that Beech and her siblings have for each other is obvious. Even in adulthood, their bond appears to be unbreakable.
It must be difficult to admit a mother isn’t the ‘perfect’ role mother. It’s even more difficult to write about it and share your abusive childhood with the world, but Louise shows great courage, resilience and strength of character. She’s grown and developed and hasn’t let her traumatic childhood define her. Eighteen Seconds is beautifully written, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down
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Even when Beech recalls some of the saddest moments in her childhood, she injects dark humour into the story. Some readers may find this odd or unusual, but it’s obviously a tool the family used as a coping mechanism in the darkest of times. The respect and love that Beech and her siblings have for each other is obvious. Even in adulthood, their bond appears to be unbreakable.
It must be difficult to admit a mother isn’t the ‘perfect’ role mother. It’s even more difficult to write about it and share your abusive childhood with the world, but Louise shows great courage, resilience and strength of character. She’s grown and developed and hasn’t let her traumatic childhood define her. Eighteen Seconds is beautifully written, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down
All my reviews can be found on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thebookrevi...
August 15, 2025
18 Seconds, for me was a parallel of the trauma that I grew up in with my two brothers. I appear to be the lone survivor. I am the oldest and I’ve always been determined to not let the horrible childhood destroy me or my chances to move on and live in spite of it. Louise Beech’s writing was a “gut punch”. I was unprepared to dig up the bones of my past. I was curious because the scars are deep and hidden. At the same time, this novel was therapeutic. I was amazed and horrified to learn that someone else had endured a similar life and childhood that I lived with my two siblings. My oldest brother passed away from illness and my youngest is totally broken and all the love I try to give to him can never be enough. He resents me for wanting to be mentally healthy. I’ve worked a lifetime to achieve and to hold onto my sanity. This book helped me more than the therapy I had after our narcissistic mother passed. I wasn’t able to help my brothers, so I worked on saving me. Although 18 Seconds was hard to take in, at the same time it healed parts of me that weren’t reachable or went misunderstood. I’m glad that the author was brave enough to share her life and helping me to see, we feel alone, but are never really alone.
February 8, 2023
Sometimes the only way to understand and come to terms with something is to write your way into it and through it. I feel this is what Louise Beech has done in relation to her memoir Eighteen Seconds, which focuses on the author's relationship with her mother. The book begins after we find out her mother has tried to commit suicide by jumping off the Humber Bridge and has miraculously survived the fall.
The book moves between present-day accounts of hospital visits and updates and flashbacks to Louise's childhood with her twin sisters and brother living with their mother and in care when things break down at home as a result of their mother's mental instability, alcoholism, depression and suicidal tendencies. Some tender moments are shared between the siblings and, in particular, Louise's reflection on her grandmother, which I found particularly moving and reminded me of my grandmother's love and care for me.
This is raw, honest writing that must have been challenging to put down on paper. It is punctuated by a savvy and dark sense of humour witnessed in all the family members, something that was undoubtedly used as a coping mechanism.
It's not an easy read, but it is compelling, highlighting the complexities of family dynamics and how those we often have the greatest expectations of can continually disappoint us.
A courageous write by a brave writer. This is the third book I've read by this author, and I shall definitely be seeking out her back catalogue to add to my reading list. 4.5 stars.
The book moves between present-day accounts of hospital visits and updates and flashbacks to Louise's childhood with her twin sisters and brother living with their mother and in care when things break down at home as a result of their mother's mental instability, alcoholism, depression and suicidal tendencies. Some tender moments are shared between the siblings and, in particular, Louise's reflection on her grandmother, which I found particularly moving and reminded me of my grandmother's love and care for me.
This is raw, honest writing that must have been challenging to put down on paper. It is punctuated by a savvy and dark sense of humour witnessed in all the family members, something that was undoubtedly used as a coping mechanism.
It's not an easy read, but it is compelling, highlighting the complexities of family dynamics and how those we often have the greatest expectations of can continually disappoint us.
A courageous write by a brave writer. This is the third book I've read by this author, and I shall definitely be seeking out her back catalogue to add to my reading list. 4.5 stars.
September 13, 2025
This memoir depicts the inspirational story of four siblings who survive a troubled upbringing at the hands of a narcissistic and alcoholic mother. Their close bond and shared ability to find humour in extremely difficult situations is to be admired.
January 28, 2023
You never quite know what truth is hiding behind a smile. What actual pain and turmoil endless positivity and laughter might be masking. That is certainly true of Louise Beech, whose memoir, Eighteen Seconds, gives readers a warts and all look into her childhood. Moving, completely honest and often quite raw, the author leads us through her early years, to her almost destructive behaviour in her early adulthood, driven by a kind of self loathing and distrust that had been cultivated throughout her childhood. The inspiration to tell her story? Her mother's attempted suicide in 2019, an act which she missed witnessing by just a fraction of time. The two stories - past and present - intertwine perfectly, and slowly reveal the truth of four children, Louise and her siblings, who were continually let down by the adults around them, facts which have coloured their adult lives too.
To quote Philip Larkin, 'The f@ck you up, your Mum and Dad". that seems especially true of Louise Beech's parents - a largely absentee father and a mother who suffered depressive episodes, alcoholism and a succession of unsuitable relationships which only served to exacerbate an already difficult family life for the children. Taking us between the various places the children called home, describing their time both in care and under the protection of their Grandmother, it is a very stark portrayal of a family for whom a demonstration of love from their mother was scarce and neglect almost guaranteed. You really get to feel the way in which all the various barbs and comments from her mother, chipped away and the confidence and positivity within Louise and alongside some very shocking revelations, it is hard to wonder how she finds the courage to maintain such a positive facade in the way she does. Her one respite from the darkness, aside from the love and strong bond she shares with her three siblings - her passion for writing and telling stories.
The chapters and moments in which the author describes her mother's suicide attempt and her ongoing treatment really do hit home how much the depression affected the family. These scenes are honest, and often emotional, as the toll of fighting for their mother's care comes to the fore, as well as the memories it triggers. I actually really appreciated and understood the way in which the family, including Louise's uncle, managed their fear and anger, both understandable reactions, through the use of, at times, some very black humour. With asides and quotes from the family which feature during this moment in the present day, as well as recounting the past and the impact that their upbringing had on them, it is very easy to see why their reaction to this latest episode from their mother, is not met with just compassion and concern.
This book is brutally honest at times, and I can only assume, quite cathartic. Sadly I can empathise completely with elements of Louise's story, and understand fully how it is possible to have truly complicated feelings about your parents. Not every childhood is a positive one, and each and every cutting comment or rejection does leave a mark which is felt long into adulthood. As always, the writing within this book is beautiful, the darkness which could, in lesser hands, be overwhelming brightened by some stunning imagery. Each chapter starts with facts or quotes about Daffodils, their relevance clear to anyone who has followed Louise Beech on social media, although this is also explained in the book.
One thing the book also makes clear, is how much her early years have informed her writing, and as I read I could tick off the moments, and the people, that had inspired each of her beautiful tomes. It is also clear from reading this book how she manages to infuse that sense of melancholy into each book, and yet to lift them with a sense of hope as I think that this sums up the author's life too. Behind that wondrous smile, and the many books up and down the land which have been festooned with the author's trademark boob-art, there is a person who has survived a very difficult journey, a little battered and bruised, but still with a determination and compassion that's more than just a little bit inspiring. Emotional and brutally honest, this is definitely a memoir worth reading.
To quote Philip Larkin, 'The f@ck you up, your Mum and Dad". that seems especially true of Louise Beech's parents - a largely absentee father and a mother who suffered depressive episodes, alcoholism and a succession of unsuitable relationships which only served to exacerbate an already difficult family life for the children. Taking us between the various places the children called home, describing their time both in care and under the protection of their Grandmother, it is a very stark portrayal of a family for whom a demonstration of love from their mother was scarce and neglect almost guaranteed. You really get to feel the way in which all the various barbs and comments from her mother, chipped away and the confidence and positivity within Louise and alongside some very shocking revelations, it is hard to wonder how she finds the courage to maintain such a positive facade in the way she does. Her one respite from the darkness, aside from the love and strong bond she shares with her three siblings - her passion for writing and telling stories.
The chapters and moments in which the author describes her mother's suicide attempt and her ongoing treatment really do hit home how much the depression affected the family. These scenes are honest, and often emotional, as the toll of fighting for their mother's care comes to the fore, as well as the memories it triggers. I actually really appreciated and understood the way in which the family, including Louise's uncle, managed their fear and anger, both understandable reactions, through the use of, at times, some very black humour. With asides and quotes from the family which feature during this moment in the present day, as well as recounting the past and the impact that their upbringing had on them, it is very easy to see why their reaction to this latest episode from their mother, is not met with just compassion and concern.
This book is brutally honest at times, and I can only assume, quite cathartic. Sadly I can empathise completely with elements of Louise's story, and understand fully how it is possible to have truly complicated feelings about your parents. Not every childhood is a positive one, and each and every cutting comment or rejection does leave a mark which is felt long into adulthood. As always, the writing within this book is beautiful, the darkness which could, in lesser hands, be overwhelming brightened by some stunning imagery. Each chapter starts with facts or quotes about Daffodils, their relevance clear to anyone who has followed Louise Beech on social media, although this is also explained in the book.
One thing the book also makes clear, is how much her early years have informed her writing, and as I read I could tick off the moments, and the people, that had inspired each of her beautiful tomes. It is also clear from reading this book how she manages to infuse that sense of melancholy into each book, and yet to lift them with a sense of hope as I think that this sums up the author's life too. Behind that wondrous smile, and the many books up and down the land which have been festooned with the author's trademark boob-art, there is a person who has survived a very difficult journey, a little battered and bruised, but still with a determination and compassion that's more than just a little bit inspiring. Emotional and brutally honest, this is definitely a memoir worth reading.
May 26, 2024
Louise Beech broke my heart while reading her memoir-But then she filled it with love and mended it again.
A powerful, emotional account of her life. Thankyou for being brave enough to share it.
A powerful, emotional account of her life. Thankyou for being brave enough to share it.
March 30, 2025
One of the things I love about memoirs is the ability to live the life of someone else from afar. However, in the case of Eighteen Seconds, these are not experiences one would want for themselves. This memoir is an exploration of trauma, survival, and resilience.
In this memoir the author has made herself so vulnerable. She details the upbringing of herself and her siblings with honesty, exposing the fear, and chaos they faced.
I found elements of the book relatable - which may be a sad realisation, but it felt solidifying that there are families that continue to use humour to bond and get us through difficult times. This connection made the memoir even more impactful, and I know I’ll be recommending it to my sisters and Mum to see if it resonates with them in the same way.
The memoir is touching but horrifying - balancing between violent acts and the hope and will to get through and build a better future for those around you that you care for. This delicate dance between suffering and perseverance is what makes the book it so gripping and somehow uplifting in its own way.
I know many people want to escape the harsh realities of life through fiction, but in this case the brutal honest and dark wit was a refreshing take on a story that could have been written in such a dark and depressing way.
In this memoir the author has made herself so vulnerable. She details the upbringing of herself and her siblings with honesty, exposing the fear, and chaos they faced.
I found elements of the book relatable - which may be a sad realisation, but it felt solidifying that there are families that continue to use humour to bond and get us through difficult times. This connection made the memoir even more impactful, and I know I’ll be recommending it to my sisters and Mum to see if it resonates with them in the same way.
The memoir is touching but horrifying - balancing between violent acts and the hope and will to get through and build a better future for those around you that you care for. This delicate dance between suffering and perseverance is what makes the book it so gripping and somehow uplifting in its own way.
I know many people want to escape the harsh realities of life through fiction, but in this case the brutal honest and dark wit was a refreshing take on a story that could have been written in such a dark and depressing way.
March 31, 2023
You just can't review books like this with any words that will do justice. To write any memoir takes courage. It's extremely brave to put yourself out into the world between the pages of a book. But to write a memoir that charts the days after your mum throws herself off the Humber Bridge, coupled with glimpses in a childhood that was not the happiest (and that's putting it mildly) is bravery and courage on a whole new level.
Louise Beech is one of life's gifts. As hard as it must have been to write and at times to read, I have loved this memoir.
An absolute must read and a massive 5 full whack stars.
Louise Beech is one of life's gifts. As hard as it must have been to write and at times to read, I have loved this memoir.
An absolute must read and a massive 5 full whack stars.
May 3, 2023
A memoir.
Let me say at the outset that I’m not a huge lover of memoir and frequently find them self-indulgent, contrived and probably filled with untruths. That said, I’m a huge fan of Louise Beech’s writing and have read several of her eclectic fiction titles so I knew Eighteen Seconds would be good. It isn’t merely good. It’s magnificent. I have been utterly undone by the terrible honesty in this book. I could not have loved Eighteen Seconds more or have been more completely mesmerised by it. It is an astonishing read that left me in pieces. If I didn’t know that Eighteen Seconds was a memoir, I’d think it was a most painfully exquisite work of fiction. But knowing it is true, that Eighteen Seconds is Louise Beech’s life laid bare makes it outstanding. And beyond emotional. And life changing. I’d defy anyone to read Eighteen Seconds and not find a little bit of themselves between its pages so that this remarkable book is metamorphic.
If this were fiction then the plot would be described as character led and impactful, but this is real life in all its imperfections so that it feels as if Louise Beech has afforded her readers an insight into a world (hopefully) unfamiliar but that illustrates to perfection how we can never really know just what others might be experiencing. She deals with dark and disturbing themes and events with integrity and breath-taking authorial skill. Not only is Eighteen Seconds a fascinating account of a life, it is a masterclass in writing too.
The structure of Eighteen Seconds is so clever as the author weaves her childhood experiences into her mother’s post-suicidal treatment along with snippets of the recent Covid pandemic which means that there are hooks where even readers who have experienced the complete opposite to Louise Beech’s tumultuous life, feel seen and recognised. The author might have been searching for a personal catharsis in writing her memoir, but her strength gives hope to her readers too.
It is actually impossible to review Eighteen Seconds with any semblance of coherence because it isn’t really a book you read. It’s one you feel and live through with the author in a profound and searing manner.
It feels entirely inappropriate to say that I adored Eighteen Seconds as it’s filled with the darkness of poor mental health, many kinds of abuse and terrible neglect. But it’s also brimful with humanity, love and hope so that it is raw, emotional and magnificent. To be honest, I don’t quite know how to review Eighteen Seconds as it is, quite simply, outstanding and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Just read it.
Let me say at the outset that I’m not a huge lover of memoir and frequently find them self-indulgent, contrived and probably filled with untruths. That said, I’m a huge fan of Louise Beech’s writing and have read several of her eclectic fiction titles so I knew Eighteen Seconds would be good. It isn’t merely good. It’s magnificent. I have been utterly undone by the terrible honesty in this book. I could not have loved Eighteen Seconds more or have been more completely mesmerised by it. It is an astonishing read that left me in pieces. If I didn’t know that Eighteen Seconds was a memoir, I’d think it was a most painfully exquisite work of fiction. But knowing it is true, that Eighteen Seconds is Louise Beech’s life laid bare makes it outstanding. And beyond emotional. And life changing. I’d defy anyone to read Eighteen Seconds and not find a little bit of themselves between its pages so that this remarkable book is metamorphic.
If this were fiction then the plot would be described as character led and impactful, but this is real life in all its imperfections so that it feels as if Louise Beech has afforded her readers an insight into a world (hopefully) unfamiliar but that illustrates to perfection how we can never really know just what others might be experiencing. She deals with dark and disturbing themes and events with integrity and breath-taking authorial skill. Not only is Eighteen Seconds a fascinating account of a life, it is a masterclass in writing too.
The structure of Eighteen Seconds is so clever as the author weaves her childhood experiences into her mother’s post-suicidal treatment along with snippets of the recent Covid pandemic which means that there are hooks where even readers who have experienced the complete opposite to Louise Beech’s tumultuous life, feel seen and recognised. The author might have been searching for a personal catharsis in writing her memoir, but her strength gives hope to her readers too.
It is actually impossible to review Eighteen Seconds with any semblance of coherence because it isn’t really a book you read. It’s one you feel and live through with the author in a profound and searing manner.
It feels entirely inappropriate to say that I adored Eighteen Seconds as it’s filled with the darkness of poor mental health, many kinds of abuse and terrible neglect. But it’s also brimful with humanity, love and hope so that it is raw, emotional and magnificent. To be honest, I don’t quite know how to review Eighteen Seconds as it is, quite simply, outstanding and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Just read it.
August 13, 2025
This is a heartbreakingly raw and vulnerable novel with great depth and emotional honestly that grips you from page 1.
I live in the same village and recognised a lot of the places mentioned, as if I was living the pages with Louise, following her around as she grew up. It's an horrific story of abuse and neglect at worst and an uplifting story of hope, resilience and determination to thrive at best.
I don't think anyone could read this and NOT be moved to tears one minute and chuckle along with the family's dark humour, the next. Highly recommend.
I live in the same village and recognised a lot of the places mentioned, as if I was living the pages with Louise, following her around as she grew up. It's an horrific story of abuse and neglect at worst and an uplifting story of hope, resilience and determination to thrive at best.
I don't think anyone could read this and NOT be moved to tears one minute and chuckle along with the family's dark humour, the next. Highly recommend.
April 27, 2023
“we could all learn a lot from being in another person’s head for eighteen seconds.”
I don’t know about you but eighteen seconds in my head could lead you anywhere… the “exciting” world of pensions, the dark world of crime fiction, the hectic world of parenting… chaos but nothing quite like the head of Louise Beech’s mum. Through Eighteen Seconds, I spent some time in Beech’s head through her recollections of her childhood, young adulthood and the aftermath of her mother’s suicide attempt.
This memoir is heartbreaking, not just with Beech and her family dealing with their mother’s suicide attempt but with the sibling’s’ childhood. I was bereft to read of the experiences of the bubbly individual that I know.
The author’s protective and loving nature to her children shines through the book. The way a mother can soften the blow of a grandparent’s condition is a knack and Beech really has it. I identified with that having had to tell my own boys their grandpa had cancer which I personally found hard.
There are sparks of the Beech humour I’ve see on social media and in person which lightens the mood of what is very serious and emotional subject matter. The fact the whole family has a similar sense of humour is really comforting. The banter between them both in person and in their WhatsApp chat really did entertain me.
Beech breaks up her personal narrative with little interludes about daffodils. The epitome of spring, the bright yellow flowers the UK sees on the roadside and in the supermarkets as well as their own gardens. Alongside the family banter, these ditties give this intense personal read the little breaks this reader needed to catch her breath and emotions.
Eighteen Seconds left me emotional and upset. The writing as with all the author’s books is beautiful but this story really is raw and from the heart which made it more powerful. It’s fact, personal experience, not the author’s imagination running wild at sea or in a fiction-free future. Louise Beech has opened the emotional door into her life in an exceptional book and all I want to do is give her a huge hug.
I don’t know about you but eighteen seconds in my head could lead you anywhere… the “exciting” world of pensions, the dark world of crime fiction, the hectic world of parenting… chaos but nothing quite like the head of Louise Beech’s mum. Through Eighteen Seconds, I spent some time in Beech’s head through her recollections of her childhood, young adulthood and the aftermath of her mother’s suicide attempt.
This memoir is heartbreaking, not just with Beech and her family dealing with their mother’s suicide attempt but with the sibling’s’ childhood. I was bereft to read of the experiences of the bubbly individual that I know.
The author’s protective and loving nature to her children shines through the book. The way a mother can soften the blow of a grandparent’s condition is a knack and Beech really has it. I identified with that having had to tell my own boys their grandpa had cancer which I personally found hard.
There are sparks of the Beech humour I’ve see on social media and in person which lightens the mood of what is very serious and emotional subject matter. The fact the whole family has a similar sense of humour is really comforting. The banter between them both in person and in their WhatsApp chat really did entertain me.
Beech breaks up her personal narrative with little interludes about daffodils. The epitome of spring, the bright yellow flowers the UK sees on the roadside and in the supermarkets as well as their own gardens. Alongside the family banter, these ditties give this intense personal read the little breaks this reader needed to catch her breath and emotions.
Eighteen Seconds left me emotional and upset. The writing as with all the author’s books is beautiful but this story really is raw and from the heart which made it more powerful. It’s fact, personal experience, not the author’s imagination running wild at sea or in a fiction-free future. Louise Beech has opened the emotional door into her life in an exceptional book and all I want to do is give her a huge hug.
May 22, 2025
Be warned that ‘Eighteen Seconds’ is a hard-hitting memoir that does not shy away from some difficult subjects. Louise Beech’s childhood featured all kinds of trauma, and her adult life has been no easier, but she shares her experiences with honesty and humility, employing a series of flashbacks to connect the most recent events with the past that led up to them.
Louise Beech is also a successful novelist, and her writing skills shine through in the clever pacing and structure that make the book so engaging and readable. I particularly enjoyed the daffodil references that are threaded throughout the story, becoming increasingly relevant to what is happening: daffodils are both beautiful and poisonous, like the author’s mother, and their yellow colour reflects the colour of her mother’s dressing-gown which puts in the occasional appearance.
It seems almost sacrilegious to give such a frank and earnest outpouring of the heart any kind of rating, so I feel my four-star choice needs a little explanation. I tend to give five stars to books that I could read over and over again, enjoying them just as much with every read-through. This book is definitely a worthwhile read, and it may well be a source of comfort to readers who have experienced similar things. It is also an eye-opening read for those fortunate people like me who have never had to go through this level of trauma, and it will hopefully encourage empathy and compassion towards those who have. I am definitely glad I read it, for many reasons, it taught me a lot, and it is beautifully written, but I don’t think it is one to read multiple times. Instead it is one to tell friends about and to start conversations with.
From the information in the book, I realised that Louise Beech and I are a similar age and we grew up around the same time at opposite sides of the same county. The Humber Bridge is a familiar sight to me, too, but in my case it is linked to happier memories. I am grateful to Louise for sharing her story, and enabling me to glimpse a life that had so much in common with my own, yet was also so very different.
Louise Beech is also a successful novelist, and her writing skills shine through in the clever pacing and structure that make the book so engaging and readable. I particularly enjoyed the daffodil references that are threaded throughout the story, becoming increasingly relevant to what is happening: daffodils are both beautiful and poisonous, like the author’s mother, and their yellow colour reflects the colour of her mother’s dressing-gown which puts in the occasional appearance.
It seems almost sacrilegious to give such a frank and earnest outpouring of the heart any kind of rating, so I feel my four-star choice needs a little explanation. I tend to give five stars to books that I could read over and over again, enjoying them just as much with every read-through. This book is definitely a worthwhile read, and it may well be a source of comfort to readers who have experienced similar things. It is also an eye-opening read for those fortunate people like me who have never had to go through this level of trauma, and it will hopefully encourage empathy and compassion towards those who have. I am definitely glad I read it, for many reasons, it taught me a lot, and it is beautifully written, but I don’t think it is one to read multiple times. Instead it is one to tell friends about and to start conversations with.
From the information in the book, I realised that Louise Beech and I are a similar age and we grew up around the same time at opposite sides of the same county. The Humber Bridge is a familiar sight to me, too, but in my case it is linked to happier memories. I am grateful to Louise for sharing her story, and enabling me to glimpse a life that had so much in common with my own, yet was also so very different.
December 8, 2023
Using words like compelling and gripping, the same sort of adjectives I would use to describe a work of fiction I had enjoyed, seem wrong when talking about Eighteen Seconds. These are people's lives, after all, and although I don't know Louise Beech personally, I've read her books in the past and seen enough of her through social media to feel a kind of familiarity. However, compelling and gripping this book is, and often shocking too.
This memoir begins with the author's mother throwing herself off the Humber Bridge. This act and what follows it are truly astonishing and utterly devastating for Beech and her three siblings, who not only have to deal with the aftermath but also with their complicated feelings about their mother. Beech then tells the story of their childhood and their (quite possibly) narcissistic mother, alongside that of the catastrophic events of 2019 leading into the global pandemic and lockdown of 2020.
As you might expect, as Louise Beech is predominantly a novel writer, this is a beautifully written and eloquent family memoir which left me wanting more at the end of each chapter. It's also a hard book to read at times and I felt like I read much of it with a lump in my throat, feeling incredibly sad for the extremely difficult childhoods that the siblings experienced. It's uncompromising in its honesty, it's raw and brutal, but underneath it all is the humour and the love that the siblings share.
Good memoirs aren't always easy to come by for me but Eighteen Seconds is an excellent memoir. It's such a brave act to put your entire life down on paper and to share it publicly, and I hope that it proved to be cathartic (given the end of the book I feel it might have been). It's a heartbreaking book but one which I'm privileged to have been able to read.
This memoir begins with the author's mother throwing herself off the Humber Bridge. This act and what follows it are truly astonishing and utterly devastating for Beech and her three siblings, who not only have to deal with the aftermath but also with their complicated feelings about their mother. Beech then tells the story of their childhood and their (quite possibly) narcissistic mother, alongside that of the catastrophic events of 2019 leading into the global pandemic and lockdown of 2020.
As you might expect, as Louise Beech is predominantly a novel writer, this is a beautifully written and eloquent family memoir which left me wanting more at the end of each chapter. It's also a hard book to read at times and I felt like I read much of it with a lump in my throat, feeling incredibly sad for the extremely difficult childhoods that the siblings experienced. It's uncompromising in its honesty, it's raw and brutal, but underneath it all is the humour and the love that the siblings share.
Good memoirs aren't always easy to come by for me but Eighteen Seconds is an excellent memoir. It's such a brave act to put your entire life down on paper and to share it publicly, and I hope that it proved to be cathartic (given the end of the book I feel it might have been). It's a heartbreaking book but one which I'm privileged to have been able to read.
July 20, 2025
A heart breaking book of memoirs., with true raw emotions, with siblings love and unity. How a child has to take on the parents roll from an early age to look after their siblings as a parent tries to destroy both and all their lives in one foul swoop. I cried all way through this book and couldn't put it down. Can't wait to read another.
December 25, 2022
Oh my. I think I may have guessed Louise Beech would wear her heart on her sleeve for this memoir; apart from the joy, depth and passion that inhabit her novels and that make her writing so memorable, I first met Louise not so very long after the circumstances in 2019 that she tells us here made her start this book. She's an amazing person who, despite everything going on at that time, still came out to meet the readers and smile. And in Eighteen Seconds, there are plenty of times when Louise has so many reasons not to smile yet still, there is humour hiding the emotions and sadness and I felt so privileged to be allowed this window into her world. Together with what is very obviously a close-knit family (think of those hilarious sisterly book launch videos!) they have truly been there for each other for many, many years; not just because they wanted to (and it shines through that they did, and still do) but because they had to. I'm not sure that the bond that here is so strong would be there for everyone, or that many could make it work the way Louise has. The memoir is a as powerful for what it hints at as for what it tells us, and all power to her for this. So brave to even consider allowing readers in, Highly appropriate that publication date will coincide with daffodils season....
June 27, 2025
Touching a nerve; brutal and honest.
Parts of the book I found hard to read but compelling, none the less. There is no doubt that the author and her small siblings suffered physically and mentally through neglect and child abuse at the hands of their mother and her abusive boyfriends. As a small child, my mother was my rock and although I am seventy four years of age and that my mother died twenty years ago, that bond between us is as strong as ever and I hope to join her in the next life. Reading Louise's memoir rocked my childhood memories as my own mother loved me and my four siblings with every fibre of her being, and everything I am today I owe to her tender love and care. I know Louise didn't have a choice in many aspects of her upbringing and struggled in a loveless battle to keep herself and younger siblings safe from harm which I find difficult to understand and, heartbreaking at times.
I congratulate, Louise, on telling her story as honestly as she has. I sincerely hope she finds the peace she deserves. She was/is a remarkable child, woman and writer and deserving of any praise that comes her way.
Parts of the book I found hard to read but compelling, none the less. There is no doubt that the author and her small siblings suffered physically and mentally through neglect and child abuse at the hands of their mother and her abusive boyfriends. As a small child, my mother was my rock and although I am seventy four years of age and that my mother died twenty years ago, that bond between us is as strong as ever and I hope to join her in the next life. Reading Louise's memoir rocked my childhood memories as my own mother loved me and my four siblings with every fibre of her being, and everything I am today I owe to her tender love and care. I know Louise didn't have a choice in many aspects of her upbringing and struggled in a loveless battle to keep herself and younger siblings safe from harm which I find difficult to understand and, heartbreaking at times.
I congratulate, Louise, on telling her story as honestly as she has. I sincerely hope she finds the peace she deserves. She was/is a remarkable child, woman and writer and deserving of any praise that comes her way.
February 13, 2024
As explained by Louise Beech in her book, Eighteen Seconds: “Family is the best thing in your life. And the worst.” Louise’s memoir about her mother’s jump from a bridge is titled eighteen seconds as her mother often said to her, I wish you could feel the way I do for eighteen seconds. This book follows the highs and lows of Louise and her siblings as they attempt to assist their mother with her recovery. Shockingly, Louise’s mother has survived the fall. As Louise details the recovery, she also walks back through memory lane to detail how they have ended up in this spot. Parts of this book were difficult to read, as it was emotional reading everything that Louise has had to undergo. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy in exchange for my honest review.
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