What do you think?
Rate this book
Before We Were Born
Elia and Kalli are soulmates who travel together through lifetimes. This time, in 1977, Kalli is reborn as Joy Sanders to a family who instantly adores her, but Elia, who chooses a mother based solely on her proximity to Kalli, fares less fortunately. He is reincarnated as Jeremy Blake, born prematurely and affected by fetal alcohol syndrome. But he is keenly intuitive and can hear the voices of the spirits who guide him in his new life. Fiercely intelligent and strong willed Joy becomes his closest childhood friend and protector. Together they form an unbreakable alliance.
352 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2023
6 people are currently reading
20 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
November 20, 2022
Elia and Kalli, Jeremy and Joy. The same people but in different worlds. Loosing each other, finding each other. An inseperable couple and their spiritual romance. Timetraveling until they meet again.
Great concept, well written, fast paced. Quite a wonderful journey.
Great concept, well written, fast paced. Quite a wonderful journey.
September 20, 2023
{↪MINOR SPOILER NO ENDING SPOILERS}
☾Trigger Warnings: This tackles very dark subject matter including but not limited to, all forms of abuse, drugs, alcoholism, and some SERIOUS heartbreaking stuff☽
↪Story Synopsis: Elia and Kalli are soulmates who travel together through lifetimes. This time, in 1977, Kalli is reborn as Joy Sanders to a family who instantly adores her, but Elia, who chooses a mother based solely on her proximity to Kalli, fares less fortunately. He is reincarnated as Jeremy Blake, born prematurely and affected by fetal alcohol syndrome. But he is keenly intuitive and can hear the voices of the spirits who guide him in his new life. Fiercely intelligent and strong willed Joy becomes his closest childhood friend and protector. Together they form an unbreakable alliance.
↪Length: 352 pages
↪Rating: 4.75
★★★★☆
↪TLDR; I’m heartbroken, I’m crying, I loved it.
↪Review:
First off, my thanks to the lovely author for the advanced reader copy. This review is being voluntarily given and contains my honest thoughts and opinions.
My thoughts on this book are both complicated and pensive, albeit always positive. It took me a long while to get through the entire book, simply because of the heavy topics and the cutting emotional rollercoaster that was ‘Before We Were Born.’ It’s a read full of emotional complexities and relatable characters. And as I begin to form my thoughts about it into a review, I realize I cannot quite grasp the effect this had on me in words. It was all of the best happy emotions, and all the tragedies of life and it's unfairness - that I felt as I lay reading. And that is to say in the most complicated way, I loved it.
Elia and Kalli are representative of what I call ‘light shower’ love (I totally titled this based on the Melanie Martinez song don’t come for me👆). This is basically, in short, a love that is so pure, understanding, and gentle. A very RARE kind of love to see in most media, but especially books where all the rage nowadays is ‘possessive’ or even, in my VERY humble opinion - glorified abuse. They become reincarnated into Jeremy (Elia's soul) and Joy (Kalli's soul). They’re cute children and comfort each other in very special ways that only each can understand. And the author was talented enough to make me believe that truly only they understood one another - inherently. In a way, the relationship between Elia and Kalli reminded me of my own relationship and in that way, I was able to get a lot more invested. Their dynamic, even as children, was extremely well written. It was such a pleasant surprise to see child characters who were written realistically, but also weren't annoying. Too many novels fall into the trap of writing children to a point where they annoy the reader - this was not one of those novels. I wanted badly to protect Jeremy, and steal him away much like Joy wanted to. There's an adorable scene that conveys what's at stake if they are separated. Jeremy is spending the night at Joy's when they're both 8, and though they are sleeping in different rooms Joy sneaks into her older brothers room where he is sleeping - and falls asleep on the floor beside Jeremy. In the morning, when her parents find them, they describe them as those ink pictures you fold over to look identical:
"That's what joy and Jeremy look like to me, the way they're holding each other. They're almost identical."
Bob though about it for a moment. "Like a butterfly," he suggested. "Two wings on the same butterfly." (pg 37, Dayan)
AAAAA SO CUTE WHAT
And then I became inconsolable as I watched them be torn apart (somewhat spoiler-y I'm sorry) and soon begin to forget about one another. Time waits for no one, I guess - and neither does life.
Don’t let this make you think both characters can’t stand on their own, not that they’d ever want to! But, they are absolutely capable character's that you can follow even when they are without one another. I felt like the third person point of view really helped with this. It tied in with the theme of reincarnation and spiritualism, like you're watching through the eyes of some unknowable force that is loving but stern, accompanied by the wisdom of it's author. It doesn't drown out the character though, and all their thoughts and motivations are logically explained to the reader in an olive branch of sorts.
For instance, without Jeremy, I knew Joy was going to fall into a very stereotypical pit of falling in with the wrong crowd, losing her innocence, losing her individual identity to social media and pressure and sex. And she indeed, did do that. The exposition surrounding Joy's journey and ultimate identity crisis without her other half is what made it justifiable, and not stereotypical per say. Naive, snooty, and capricious. She is still just a young girl trying to find her place in relationships, the world, and trying to get the upper hand.
Jeremy is wise and sweet, and also an empath. I really never had any qualms with his character, he was genuine and struggled a lot. My perfect SWEETHEART. The abuse itself against him, is handled as well as it can be given the subject. With Belinda (Jeremy's mother) being the main perpetrator in the beginning of the novel. It is not glorified or justified, and while it does exist within the story much like it does in real life, it is never without consequences be they big or small. And it stayed away from caricatures of trauma, especially of the abusers. No cartoonish antagonist and it never stereotyped it's characters as 'victims' who eventually become dramatically jaded, and I loved that. Everything from the author's side was handled very maturely and with attention to detail.
This is not to say, the book did not frustrate me, the author does love to play with your heartstrings. This book really focuses internal conflict more than external. As stated earlier, this book is an emotional rollercoaster and you should be prepared for it. I don't want to spoil anything, so I can't say anymore besides the character's decisions can be frustrating. Especially because it's a very slow burn story, or maybe I just took too many emotional support breaks oops - but to me it paced itself very purposely and slowly. I am someone who isn't particularly religious, but I found a lot of hope and comfort in this story and it's perspectives on the afterlife and reincarnation. Although, at first, I found the 'heaven' scene in the beginning hard to get into because of Elia's powers. I was unsure of how I'd feel, but I ended up really falling in love with the story of these two and the journey it took to reunite them.
This is a deeply thoughtful book, which had me reflecting on many of this life's questions, and the life beyond. The author's prose and style are imperative to the story and how it comes across, and it does her so much credit that I ended up annotating and saving so many quotes I found endearing in my journal. I would highly recommend this one, it gives a fresh perspective on romance and true love. It a passionate story that was written with sincerity. This will definitely be on my top 10 of 2023 list.
↪Bookish Pros:
♡ A high stakes romance
♡ Beautifully written and accompanied by a great third person narrative
♡ Fastidiously developed characters
♡ Bob is dad of the year IDC.
♡ The antagonist are not cartoonish, they are three dimensional and able of change
↪Bookish Cons:
♡ Kathleen Dayan will make you cry 5+ times.
♡ Some terms are out of date, and can be offensive but fit with proper terminology at the time like 'Mentally Retarded.'
♡ The characters *cough cough* Joy, can frustrate you with repetitive naivete
↪💌I’d Recommend To Fans of:
💌 Romance
💌 Christian Lit
💌 Spiritualism
💌 The Notebook
💌 Me Before You
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
↪{Quicklinks}
My Blog | Goodreads | The Storygraph | Instagram |
Twitter
☾Trigger Warnings: This tackles very dark subject matter including but not limited to, all forms of abuse, drugs, alcoholism, and some SERIOUS heartbreaking stuff☽
↪Story Synopsis: Elia and Kalli are soulmates who travel together through lifetimes. This time, in 1977, Kalli is reborn as Joy Sanders to a family who instantly adores her, but Elia, who chooses a mother based solely on her proximity to Kalli, fares less fortunately. He is reincarnated as Jeremy Blake, born prematurely and affected by fetal alcohol syndrome. But he is keenly intuitive and can hear the voices of the spirits who guide him in his new life. Fiercely intelligent and strong willed Joy becomes his closest childhood friend and protector. Together they form an unbreakable alliance.
↪Length: 352 pages
↪Rating: 4.75
★★★★☆
↪TLDR; I’m heartbroken, I’m crying, I loved it.
↪Review:
First off, my thanks to the lovely author for the advanced reader copy. This review is being voluntarily given and contains my honest thoughts and opinions.
My thoughts on this book are both complicated and pensive, albeit always positive. It took me a long while to get through the entire book, simply because of the heavy topics and the cutting emotional rollercoaster that was ‘Before We Were Born.’ It’s a read full of emotional complexities and relatable characters. And as I begin to form my thoughts about it into a review, I realize I cannot quite grasp the effect this had on me in words. It was all of the best happy emotions, and all the tragedies of life and it's unfairness - that I felt as I lay reading. And that is to say in the most complicated way, I loved it.
Elia and Kalli are representative of what I call ‘light shower’ love (I totally titled this based on the Melanie Martinez song don’t come for me👆). This is basically, in short, a love that is so pure, understanding, and gentle. A very RARE kind of love to see in most media, but especially books where all the rage nowadays is ‘possessive’ or even, in my VERY humble opinion - glorified abuse. They become reincarnated into Jeremy (Elia's soul) and Joy (Kalli's soul). They’re cute children and comfort each other in very special ways that only each can understand. And the author was talented enough to make me believe that truly only they understood one another - inherently. In a way, the relationship between Elia and Kalli reminded me of my own relationship and in that way, I was able to get a lot more invested. Their dynamic, even as children, was extremely well written. It was such a pleasant surprise to see child characters who were written realistically, but also weren't annoying. Too many novels fall into the trap of writing children to a point where they annoy the reader - this was not one of those novels. I wanted badly to protect Jeremy, and steal him away much like Joy wanted to. There's an adorable scene that conveys what's at stake if they are separated. Jeremy is spending the night at Joy's when they're both 8, and though they are sleeping in different rooms Joy sneaks into her older brothers room where he is sleeping - and falls asleep on the floor beside Jeremy. In the morning, when her parents find them, they describe them as those ink pictures you fold over to look identical:
"That's what joy and Jeremy look like to me, the way they're holding each other. They're almost identical."
Bob though about it for a moment. "Like a butterfly," he suggested. "Two wings on the same butterfly." (pg 37, Dayan)
AAAAA SO CUTE WHAT
And then I became inconsolable as I watched them be torn apart (somewhat spoiler-y I'm sorry) and soon begin to forget about one another. Time waits for no one, I guess - and neither does life.
Don’t let this make you think both characters can’t stand on their own, not that they’d ever want to! But, they are absolutely capable character's that you can follow even when they are without one another. I felt like the third person point of view really helped with this. It tied in with the theme of reincarnation and spiritualism, like you're watching through the eyes of some unknowable force that is loving but stern, accompanied by the wisdom of it's author. It doesn't drown out the character though, and all their thoughts and motivations are logically explained to the reader in an olive branch of sorts.
For instance, without Jeremy, I knew Joy was going to fall into a very stereotypical pit of falling in with the wrong crowd, losing her innocence, losing her individual identity to social media and pressure and sex. And she indeed, did do that. The exposition surrounding Joy's journey and ultimate identity crisis without her other half is what made it justifiable, and not stereotypical per say. Naive, snooty, and capricious. She is still just a young girl trying to find her place in relationships, the world, and trying to get the upper hand.
Jeremy is wise and sweet, and also an empath. I really never had any qualms with his character, he was genuine and struggled a lot. My perfect SWEETHEART. The abuse itself against him, is handled as well as it can be given the subject. With Belinda (Jeremy's mother) being the main perpetrator in the beginning of the novel. It is not glorified or justified, and while it does exist within the story much like it does in real life, it is never without consequences be they big or small. And it stayed away from caricatures of trauma, especially of the abusers. No cartoonish antagonist and it never stereotyped it's characters as 'victims' who eventually become dramatically jaded, and I loved that. Everything from the author's side was handled very maturely and with attention to detail.
This is not to say, the book did not frustrate me, the author does love to play with your heartstrings. This book really focuses internal conflict more than external. As stated earlier, this book is an emotional rollercoaster and you should be prepared for it. I don't want to spoil anything, so I can't say anymore besides the character's decisions can be frustrating. Especially because it's a very slow burn story, or maybe I just took too many emotional support breaks oops - but to me it paced itself very purposely and slowly. I am someone who isn't particularly religious, but I found a lot of hope and comfort in this story and it's perspectives on the afterlife and reincarnation. Although, at first, I found the 'heaven' scene in the beginning hard to get into because of Elia's powers. I was unsure of how I'd feel, but I ended up really falling in love with the story of these two and the journey it took to reunite them.
This is a deeply thoughtful book, which had me reflecting on many of this life's questions, and the life beyond. The author's prose and style are imperative to the story and how it comes across, and it does her so much credit that I ended up annotating and saving so many quotes I found endearing in my journal. I would highly recommend this one, it gives a fresh perspective on romance and true love. It a passionate story that was written with sincerity. This will definitely be on my top 10 of 2023 list.
↪Bookish Pros:
♡ A high stakes romance
♡ Beautifully written and accompanied by a great third person narrative
♡ Fastidiously developed characters
♡ Bob is dad of the year IDC.
♡ The antagonist are not cartoonish, they are three dimensional and able of change
↪Bookish Cons:
♡ Kathleen Dayan will make you cry 5+ times.
♡ Some terms are out of date, and can be offensive but fit with proper terminology at the time like 'Mentally Retarded.'
♡ The characters *cough cough* Joy, can frustrate you with repetitive naivete
↪💌I’d Recommend To Fans of:
💌 Romance
💌 Christian Lit
💌 Spiritualism
💌 The Notebook
💌 Me Before You
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
↪{Quicklinks}
My Blog | Goodreads | The Storygraph | Instagram |
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 27, 2023
~About
Elia fears being parted from his soulmate, Kalli. The two currently reside in the spirit world but are soon to be reincarnated in new human forms on Earth. But…what if they cannot find each-other again? This question lingers on both of their minds.
Being reborn isn’t without its difficulties as Elia and Kalli soon discover. While Kalli is born into a nice, caring family home as ‘Joy’, Elia is born into a tumultuous lifestyle – involving alcohol and drugs – as ‘Jeremy’.
Although Joy and Jeremy are drawn to each-other upon first meeting, their life paths join and separate sporadically, leading to a deep yet painful connection.
Can love conquer all? Or, does life – and the circumstances we’re born into – get in the way?
~Characters
For this review, I will be focusing on the two lead characters – Elia (Jeremy) and Kalli (Joy).
Elia, reincarnated as ‘Jeremy’, is a deeply caring, insightful individual, who was wise beyond his years. He was in tune with nature and the energy of others, and could heal people with his touch. His intuition allowed him to understand how people were really feeling and to sense when trouble was brewing, not just in his life but in those of those close to him. While he does his best to be a good person, there are times where he falters. I found myself feeling proud of him at different times, for all that he had worked to overcome. As a young man, he had overcome many obstacles in his life – his struggle with learning, alcoholism, unrequited love – and did his best to persevere through his struggles, for as long as he was able.
Kalli, reincarnated as ‘Joy’, is a hopeful yet naïve young woman. She began the story as a deeply compassionate and empathetic individual. She was independent and keenly intelligent, destined to be an artist. However, Joy seemed to lose her way in her teenage years, drinking too much and losing sight of what was truly important to her in life. At times she seemed fickle, not knowing what she wanted in life – or knowing but refusing to take the path she wanted due to pride and foolishness. At times I admittedly wanted to scream at her for the decisions she made; at other times I felt her pain so deeply, as if it were my own. Her part in this story pulled my heart and mind is numerous directions, always prompting a new emotion in me.
~Positive Aspects
Before We Were Born is one of those stories that never really leaves you. It stays with you, having taught you something you didn’t realise you needed to know. For me, I learned to appreciate what was before me more deeply than before, to cherish each moment with my loved ones and to let people know that they are appreciated; to be true to oneself and the path you want to take in life.
Other positives to this story included the following:
·The author writes beautifully, infusing her work with a sense of love, fondness, and deep empathy. Some sections were so moving – emotionally – that I began to cry at their beauty. They really touched my heart and soul.
·The book was emotionally provocative. Certain chapters/scenes had me weeping, while others made me feel deeply frustrated by the lead character’s actions. The author’s writing style is deeply engaging and toys with your emotions in a masterful way.
·The lead characters have a surprising level of depth to them that closely resembles real human lives, emotions and thought processes.
·Inner conflict takes centre stage in this novel. We see the lead characters tortured by their lack of action and their stubbornness.
~Memorable Quotes
The following quotes from the book were my favourites:
1) ‘Love is the law that governs all that is and all that ever will be’.
2) ‘Love can continue even when it changes’.
3) ‘ “We’re all connected – All life is created from the same energy that takes various forms but is part of the same consciousness – it’s impossible to harm others without harming ourselves.” ’
4) ‘Loving someone is an act of faith’.
5) ‘The mind is temporary; it’s the soul that survives’.
~Overview
Overall, I found Before We Were Born to be a beautifully written tale of love, rebirth and healing. The author’s writing style was deeply engaging. There were times I teared up and times I inwardly screamed at the characters for the actions they took. Nevertheless, I felt emotionally invested in each character’s journey and – as a result – enjoyed every moment of the book.
Themes included love, reincarnation, connection (and the soul), personal growth and forgiveness.
My Rating: 5 stars.
I would recommend this book to anyone aged 16+ , especially if you enjoy books which speak to the heart and soul. A deeply meaningful read.
November 9, 2022
Usually I don’t read romance books, but the synopsis on this one left me intrigued, and let me tell you, it has all, a love that transcends time, pain, suffering, death, rebirth and above all hope in a future where we can be ourselves and happy, death is not the end, is basically the message of this book, after all dying is just like being born…
The book starts before our main characters chose their next body to being born and their promise to find each other in their next life, but knowing that keeping the memories of their time in their beautiful garden of white flowers is next to impossible… and then goes through their childhood and all the things that changed their life forever, how some things keep their life grounded or made them apart or even bring them together aside the circumstances…
Yeah you wont get spoilers from me, but this book touched me in may ways, for you to have an idea, I woke up some time before my alarm so I grabbed my kindle and I resumed reading, and what I was reading was touching me so deeply I was weeping while trying to be silent and my husband felt me trembling and asked me if I was alright, and I just said to him, is this book I am reading… Many things happen, but this book is true to life, and for that reason I know I cant recommend it enough, even if like me you don’t usually read romance, try this one, this one is different, if you read romance, read it anyway, it will touch your heart, of that I am sure, just like it touched mine…
Just a word of advice, when you’re 30% to the end of the book, keep some tissues around you, you’ll need it.
Thank you NetGalley and John Hunt Publishing Ltd for the free ARC and this is my honest opinion.
The book starts before our main characters chose their next body to being born and their promise to find each other in their next life, but knowing that keeping the memories of their time in their beautiful garden of white flowers is next to impossible… and then goes through their childhood and all the things that changed their life forever, how some things keep their life grounded or made them apart or even bring them together aside the circumstances…
Yeah you wont get spoilers from me, but this book touched me in may ways, for you to have an idea, I woke up some time before my alarm so I grabbed my kindle and I resumed reading, and what I was reading was touching me so deeply I was weeping while trying to be silent and my husband felt me trembling and asked me if I was alright, and I just said to him, is this book I am reading… Many things happen, but this book is true to life, and for that reason I know I cant recommend it enough, even if like me you don’t usually read romance, try this one, this one is different, if you read romance, read it anyway, it will touch your heart, of that I am sure, just like it touched mine…
Just a word of advice, when you’re 30% to the end of the book, keep some tissues around you, you’ll need it.
Thank you NetGalley and John Hunt Publishing Ltd for the free ARC and this is my honest opinion.
October 14, 2025
If you ever doubted the concept of soul mates, this beautiful, touching story will convince you otherwise. Kathleen Dayan takes romance to a whole new level with ‘Before We Were Born’. But it’s much more than just a romance story – it’s deep, profound and speaks to something spiritual and innate in us all. She leaves us in no doubt that if there is life after death, then there must be love after death too.
Alistair Conwell
Circadian Web: The Space of Time A Novel
Alistair Conwell
Circadian Web: The Space of Time A Novel
May 22, 2023
I loved this book! The first chapter is different from the rest of the book but once completed, it all makes sense. I loved the story of Elia and Kalli and the comfort their love brought. I kept wondering how it was going to end but the ending didn’t disappoint. Great read!
November 16, 2022
This was surprisingly good. I don't usually read romance, but the reincarnation aspect is what appealed to me. I hope this finds an audience.
Thanks very much for the free ARC for review!!
Thanks very much for the free ARC for review!!
February 19, 2023
A sad-sweet romance of reborn souls who love each other eternally
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews