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Stop Saying I'm Fine: Finding Stillness When Anxiety Screams

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A generational call to honesty, healing, and a spiritual hunger for God that defies superficial Christianity. We'll dig beneath the bedrock of our anxiety into the pain of our experiences, and together we'll learn how to connect to the stillness that exists beneath the chaos, finding that the wholeness and healing we long for isn't as distant as it may seem.

For the young adult who feels trapped inside their anxiety
For the parent or caregiver who aches to understand
For the wounded heart that can't seem to move on
For the weary one who has tried and failed a thousand other ways

176 pages, Paperback

First published August 11, 2022

21 people are currently reading
181 people want to read

About the author

Taylor Joy Murray

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
Profile Image for Reading_ Tamishly.
5,305 reviews3,472 followers
October 16, 2022
Thank you, Leafwood Publishers, for the advance reading copy.

I originally thought that this book would be for everyone. However, I came to realise that this book would be the best for us readers who have strong faith and belief.

I appreciate the fact that the author has included some very personal experiences and have given a helpful account of how finding stillness when it's most needed helped and how it can help us too.

The presentation and the writing do justice. I am someone who has anxiety with some of the worse attacks whenever I am in the company of intimidating people.

This book is helpful.

I would suggest you to read the blurb first before getting this book.
21 reviews9 followers
February 15, 2023
A Christian’s experience with anxiety

This book was illuminating. I have read several secular books about mental health, but this one has a very Christian perspective, and that made a lot of things clearer for me.

I never felt like the author was wasting words, and I deeply appreciate that. It was practical, biblical, and personal. I highly recommend it!
Profile Image for Mary Margaret.
4 reviews3 followers
July 10, 2023
LOVED THIS BOOK!

It was incredibly helpful and relatable. It gave great advice on how to navigate anxiety and move forward. Super encouraging read and really impacted my life!
Profile Image for Amanda E. (aebooksandwords).
154 reviews62 followers
January 26, 2023
Stop Saying I’m Fine isn’t a self help, practical instruction book regarding anxiety. Instead it is a book that reads like a beautifully scripted memoir in which the author invites you to join in on her journey of struggle and seeking healing, married with the wisdom of experience she shares.

This book would be helpful for any struggling with anxiety, depression, shame, self-hatred, rejection and similar issues as it mentions so many of the unhelpful thoughts and lies we sometimes believe.

One helpful suggestion mentioned in the book is that we need to dig deep and search out what is causing our anxiety, which means “listening to our thoughts, revisiting our stories, and seeking to identify those fears, patterns, and beliefs that can trigger our bodies’ biological responses.” This takes us far closer to discovering the cause of our anxiety versus advice simply to cast our cares on the Lord and just trust or pray more.

I also appreciated how the book clarifies that the feeling of anxiety is not a sin. Worry is sin, yes, and actions or responses that stem from anxiety can be sinful, but the emotion itself is not. The last chapter was especially rich, focusing on true community.

One issue I had: I usually don’t mind whatever Bible version someone cites. However, Scripture quotes from the newer Passion “Translation” of the Bible were used and this is problematic because the TPT translator has an agenda to spread the unbiblical teachings of the New Apostolic Reformation (from churches like Bethel Redding of Bethel Music fame) through how many of the passages are translated similar to how JWs changed things in the Bible to reflect their erroneous teaching.

I received a review copy of this book for free from Netgalley, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. All opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Emma Grace.
144 reviews4 followers
January 22, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley and leafwood publishers for a free copy in exchange for an honest review. I wish there were more scientifically and spiritually sound books surrounding the intersection of Christianity and mental health.

What this book is: A lovely part testimony/part biography focused on one woman’s sacred and personal journey though anxiety and anorexia. I only recommend this book if you’re going to be reading it as such. This much is where the 1.5-2 stars come from. Nearly each profound thought I highlighted in yellow (pros for the writing) wound up being a quote or thought from another writer or theologian. While I love that the culmination of better and more supportive community being part of the answer, I wish she hadn’t left it for the last two chapters!

What this book is NOT:
While everybody’s spiritual journey is sacred, imposing what may or may not have worked for you on others is not helpful and in fact a dangerous paradigm that I think the author also agrees with, but wound up inadvertently doing. Her own quote near the end, “That’s what this book has been about, offering some space and tools and words for this [healing through G-d’s Love] journey.” There’re no actual tools given, no space for much reflection, and the words are grounded in finding Love (a reoriented view of how one ultimately sees G-d) and healing through scripture and prayer. Possibly assuming everyone’s privileged enough to have the same good resources to the same good counselors she did in inpatient and outpatient.

Fun scientific fact: prayer does actually help with centering oneself/deescalation of fight/flight/faun response and activates special parts of the brain simultaneously that no other activities seem to. However, it can be activated by any kind of contemplative prayer or meditation, which is not the kind posited in this book.

If you’re struggling, more scripture and more G-d isn’t always going to be the answer especially if you’ve been abused or even hurt by these things in response to your mental health before. From the get go, Taylor’s overemphasis on “The Enemy” (one overall enemy, which, depending on one’s theology, scripture doesn’t even support one “satan”) grants this entity too much power. If all intrusive thoughts or everything “bad” in a persons thought life are demons, or worse one demon’s fault, it opens the doorway to more fear and power in principalities. I’m concerned that the author is actually studying to be a counselor; is she going to be able to put her spiritual biases aside to address her clients who don’t need “spiritual wisdom” and just need survival grounding techniques based on body awareness or better boundary setting (I’ve been to at least 3 counselors who couldn’t do this even after requesting no Bible after they found out I was a Jesus follower)???

Absolutely do not read this book if you’ve not already taken steps towards counseling, possibly medication, and professional tools if you can afford them (if you can’t afford them, at the very least please read Try Softer by Aundi Kolber (which the author quotes and has drawn a few profound thoughts from) which offers actual tools which would help with anxiety responses. The tools on the authors website are steeped in the same dangerous rhetoric of G-d and scripture can help you if you’re quiet and center yourself.). Do not give this book to your child or friend struggling with these issues, but encourage and support the other suggestions above. I’m especially bothered the author does not offer a caveat that this is not a substitute for proper counseling/help (which most books by counselors or budding counselors do) because I’m afraid that’s what people may take it and run away as.

For those upset she uses the passion translation (a paraphrase which, while it does use original Greek and Aramaic as a root source, adds adjectives and adverbs not necessarily part of original thought), as well as the message and I believe the NLT and NIV, please remember all this scripture is being used and interpreted in a way that solely benefits the author’s own spiritual journey. ALL English Bibles are interpretations in themselves with many interpretive bents already chosen by the theology of the interpreters (ESV for reinforcing patriarchal purposes stemming out of the GrecoRoman era, NRSV for word for word Greek/Hebrew to English even if some of the thought/poetry is lost, TPT for charismatics). It’s all getting ripped out of context and often we try to make the Bible into things it’s actually not. If certain verses worked towards healing for Taylor or you, kudos, but they can’t be equally and liberally applied to all across cultures, contexts, and especially mental health struggles.

Worth mentioning is that Taylor’s story is another voice lending itself to soooooo many of the repetitive mental health problems MKs (missionary kids, military kids, or, occasionally, both, whose parents have (usually after their birth) decided G-d or country is calling them to move overseas to a completely different culture where they’re expected to behave like perfect little angels for the cause). So many of my friends who’re MKs have struggled similarly with anxiety and perfectionism so as to not disappoint parents or the church and expectations we place on our families need to change in this realm. It’s not what I’ll be expecting from my family. The sacrifice of children’s mental health is not worth an easier cultural balance/transition. In her parents reaction to Taylor’s confession of a mental health crisis, one can see the problematic rhetoric of over spiritualizing it and, honestly, granting “the Enemy” power inherited by Taylor.
Profile Image for Kristianne.
249 reviews33 followers
February 14, 2023
Raw, refreshing, and heartbreakingly honest, Taylor pulls back the curtain and invites us into her journey through anxiety and anorexia, of learning to find God most present in her pain. Grace-laced, moving, and deeply relatable, this part memoir, part self-help book invites you to lay bare your deepest wounds before God and allow Him to work the kind of healing that comes only through walking our deepest valleys.

Through vivid word pictures, Taylor painted heartbreaking scenes I could relate to all too well. I so appreciated the depth of vulnerability she shared on each page—I know that couldn’t have been easy. So many times, I found my heart crying, Yes, exactly. Someone else understands. It was healing to feel seen in the invisible mental struggles that hold so many of us captive.

And yet, she doesn’t end there. With grace and love, she takes familiar biblical stories and reveals timeless truths through a new lens. She brings to light the vicious lies and falsehoods we’ve tricked ourselves into believing and gently guides us to the cross, to the feet of Jesus.

I appreciated that she didn’t just hand out a laundry list of solutions to try. Or worse, a quick fix to mental illness. I appreciated that she mentioned toward the end that she still struggles with anxiety. But while some struggles may last a lifetime (Jesus never promised this life would be easy), they are not meaningless because they are the instruments Jesus uses to draw us ever closer to Himself.

One of my favorite chapters was the one on learning to coexist with uncertainty, of allowing joy to exist alongside sorrow, pain alongside God’s goodness. One theme that God has impressed so regularly on my heart during my own valley seasons is that He is redeeming all our pain for our good, and Taylor brought out this theme so beautifully.

Perfect for any Christian young person battling anxiety, depression, or self-loathing, this book will lift you up, give words to your deepest wounds, and point you to Jesus, the ultimate Giver of life and hope.

This world is chaotic, messy, broken. But peace can still be ours.

Because God is our peace. And that’s an anchor we can never lose.

Favorite quotes:

“Jesus didn’t sacrifice his life for us to merely skim the surface of abundance. He longs for us to plunge into the depths of rich, vibrant, and genuine lives.”

“Freedom is found not so much in those glorious, emotional moments but in these consistent forward steps during daily life.”

“In his love and mercy, he allows us to experience things we can’t control or conquer. He wants us to surrender to self-reliance and self-dependency.”

“He knew the Israelites had to reach the end of themselves, releasing their perceived sense of control completely, to encounter the person who could free them internally. The new thing he was doing among them could only be encountered on the wilderness route.”

“Deep waters and desert spaces are not the absence of God’s love and mercy, but sacred spaces of intimacy, connection, healing, and communication. God becomes personal in these scary places.”

“At its core, the spiritual journey is one of God continually welcoming us home, not only to a truer version of him but also to a truer version of ourselves.”

“To trust that God is truly good is to hold his self-proclaimed goodness in one hand and the reality of my pain in the other, and for there to be no competition between the two.”

*I received a complimentary ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Brianna Brown.
139 reviews7 followers
April 17, 2025
This book did have good principles and a good message. There were some parts that held my attention, but most of the book wasn’t relatable for me in first person, rather, the author talks a lot about hiding her feelings and experiences behind “packaging” and an image she wants people to believe is the real her. It was hard reading the book because I’ve experienced a lot of people like this, and I can tell they are really incredible people, but it is just about impossible to have any genuine connection with them because they are so committed to keeping everyone at arm’s length. I do have compassion for the author and her struggles, and by extension the many people I’ve met and tried to befriend with similar struggles, but it is extremely lonely to be surrounded by people like that, and it has taken me years to learn that it wasn’t anything wrong with me, and I still worry about it and struggle with it. It was definitely a book where the author was processing through things as she wrote, which I appreciate, so I’m glad she wrote the book. I did finish it in the hopes that I would unlock the key to making friends with people like this, or relate to it more strongly, but overall I was just exasperated the whole book, then chastising myself for not being more compassionate and understanding and trying to slog through and see the author’s perspective better. I hope she writes another book in 5 years about how wonderful it is to actually be herself, to be known and seen and loved, to trust God, and to be perfectly imperfect and lovely out loud. I know it is a lifelong process with anxiety but I hope she gets at least a bit more of those feelings of exhilaration and understanding and connection than it seems she had so far when she wrote this one. She does seem like a very lovely person trapped in an iron cage of anxiety and rigidity.
272 reviews6 followers
January 16, 2023
A great resource for anyone experiencing the pain of chronic anxiety, this book relies heavily upon the Bible and the author's own personal struggle to paint a message of hope and help. She thoroughly explains the challenges facing people with anxiety in the world and the church and provides practical strategies for managing negative and repetitive thoughts that can exacerbate physical responses to triggers and stressors.

This is the best resource I have encountered so far that biblically and with compassionate personal understanding deals with the topic of chronic, physical anxiety. There is so much judgment, misunderstanding, and stigma out there regarding anxiety. Those who do not have the problem cannot grasp the real and visceral struggle of dealing with crippling anxiety on a daily basis because they mark it down as a purely spiritual problem while completely discounting the physical and neurological problems that exist. Either that or they dismiss anxiety as something trivial and just "in your head." The author does not shy away from exposing her own pain and the way she began to overcome the negative thoughts that provoked her anxiety by using the truth of God's Word. I recommend this book to anyone who has anxiety, anyone who has a loved one with anxiety, and anyone in full or part time ministry. I will promote this book any way I can because it was such a help to me.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley. A positive review was not required, and all opinions expressed are entirely my own.
Profile Image for Ethan.
Author 5 books44 followers
April 8, 2023
The author describes her life experiences with mental health challenges and how she was able to find a more healthy place through faith and support.

The author tells the story of her late teenage years into her early twenties. Many others will likely find a lot of points of connection with her and the story she tells. She intends, by telling her story, to encourage people, particularly Christian women, to find support, health, and healing from God and a support system to endure and overcome many such challenges.

It takes courage to be willing to not just write out one's story but also to share it to the whole world. The only comment I would make is while it is good for the author to warn about what the Enemy might be up to, a consideration of the work of the powers and principalities, the systemic nature of things, might also have been helpful, and not just to understand everything in the framework of a person making autonomous decisions and remaining in full control without other such influences involved.

A work definitely geared more to a specific audience of younger Christian women, and they may profit from the perspective here given.

**--galley received as part of early review program
Profile Image for Swapna Peri ( Book Reviews Cafe ).
2,215 reviews82 followers
April 12, 2024
"Stop Saying I'm Fine: Finding Stillness When Anxiety Screams" by Taylor Joy Murray delves into emotional health and spiritual formation, offering a personal account of the author's struggles with anxiety and anorexia. Taylor Joy Murray's work has been praised for its authenticity and its call for honesty in addressing issues like anxiety and superficial Christianity.

The book has received positive feedback, with readers appreciating its relevance to those with strong faith and belief. It is described as a gift with raw authenticity, providing a poignant and truthful perspective on the prevalent issue of anxiety in today's society. Taylor Joy Murray's writing style is noted for its eloquence and depth, making the book engaging and thought-provoking for readers seeking stillness amidst the chaos of anxiety.

In conclusion, "Stop Saying I'm Fine: Finding Stillness When Anxiety Screams" by Taylor Joy Murray is a compelling read that offers a blend of personal narrative, spiritual insights, and a call to confront anxiety with honesty. It resonates with readers looking for a genuine exploration of emotional struggles and the quest for inner peace.
22 reviews
July 3, 2023
I did not go into this book knowing it was going to be so heavy on religion. It was an initial turn-off. I decided to see if there was something I could get out of it anyway. A friend mentioned replacing "god" with nature or something more in tune with my spirituality. I decided to heed that and give it a go. I didn't connect until right in the middle of the book. It talked about why the "evil" is so much easier to believe than the "good." At that point, I would have given this book 5 stars. However, it seemed the last few chapters, in fact, most of part 3 repeated over and over... you need to sit with your fears/flaws/traumas instead of hiding from them. Great lesson. However, it seemed to just turn into a lot of wordy repetitive talk. (Also, some of the author's "incites" about how to be loved by her God support my disinterest in this kind of faith)
Profile Image for Terri.
130 reviews2 followers
December 9, 2022
Well. I keep looking for books about mental health from a Christian perspective and I keep finding myself incredibly let down.

The strong point of this book is that it opens the door to a discussion in church spaces about mental health. It’s a good read of another person’s experience that will help someone feel less isolated and alone. The descriptions of what anxiety feels like are spot on.

But that’s really where my praise for this book ends. This is not a helpful book. It offers the same advice that solely reading scripture and having quiet time with God will cure your anxiety. I personally feel that this is ultimately harmful rhetoric. This approach may work for some, but the idea that this is the best road leads to a lot of pain.
Profile Image for Mindy.
544 reviews
July 23, 2023
Thank you to #Netgalley and to Leafwood Publishers for an advanced copy of Taylor Joy Murray's book, "Stop Saying I'm Fine: Finding Stillness When Anxiety Screams." It was quite short but held a big punch. It was relatable and informative. I appreciated her journey as she wrote about her struggles with anxiety and anorexia. I bet that wasn't/isn't easy! I do wish it was longer and had a little more umph, but other then that, I enjoyed it.
35 reviews
November 13, 2022
Weaving her own story in addressing the struggle with anxiety, Taylor Murray brings hope to those who’s struggle. As one who struggles with anxiety, I was so encouraged to know I am not alone and was drawn to the one found in the gospel. I highly recommend this book for anyone walking through anxiety or helping someone they love.
Profile Image for Rocky Woolery.
145 reviews1 follower
January 11, 2023
Though not exactly what I thought I was going to get when I started reading this book, a personal journey made for a great way to look at several serious issues.

The author very candidly exposed several of her own mental health struggles. In doing so, she was able to speak to how those issues aren't simply cured, but rather how over a period of time one can learn to control them. She also was able to show how, while they still may be stigmatized, they are not something that we should look negatively on the one who experiences them. Rather, we should see how they are people who are in need of love and encouragement and help from professionals who understand their particular issues.

While reading the book, though I cannot say that I deal with the same issues, I was confronted with some of the issues that I struggle with, and through seeing how she and others on her side dealt with those issues, I was encouraged to think about how I would deal with my own issues. This included asking how my past might be affecting my present, even where I might not have seen connections up to this point.

While this book might not be right for everyone dealing with emotional issues, I am quite sure that anyone who knows someone dealing with all kinds of psychological issues can gain understanding of the other through this book.
189 reviews5 followers
November 11, 2022
I enjoyed reading this book. I found it to be well written book with some good ideas and strategies in. Easy to read and informative. Recommend
71 reviews8 followers
March 31, 2024
Excellent book with a good TCK viewpoint. The author speaks out of her own journey of brokenness and healing in Christ. "Only by sitting still, in the echoing darkness of your own wounded heart, can you hear God's whispered invitation to wholeness... Deep waters and desert spaces are not the absences of God's love and mercy, but sacred spaces of intimacy, connection, healing and communication. God becomes personal in those scary spaces."
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