Love & Panic

by Raina Ash

She left safety to save the doctor’s life. Now his feelings for her might ruin them both.

Natalie is done with the outside world. After enduring a series of personal tragedies and battling her crippling anxiety and OCD, she’s resigned herself to her small, safe apartment and the company of her cat. But when she starts suffering from terrifying daily panic attacks, she begins to reconsider her life choices and self-imposed confinement.

Dean is drowning in alcohol and sorrow. Happily racing toward death, the former pediatric surgeon passes out in the snow one night…only to be rescued by an erratic yet sunshiny agoraphobe. And as they spend time together, her quirky personality and kind heart threaten to reopen emotional wounds and send the disgraced physician tumbling down another pit of despair.

As Natalie fights to conquer her fears, she’s caught between her feelings for the emotionally distant Dean and a new firefighter suitor who actually wants a relationship. Meanwhile, Dean is falling hard for the always-upbeat Natalie, but he fears his troubled past and present addictions will only destroy her.

They may have found in each other what they’ve needed most, but can they brave their pasts for a chance at unexpected love?
---
Love & Panic is a heartfelt, inspiring romance with delicious heat and a touch of humor—perfect for fans of Colleen Hoover, Lucy Score, and Aly Martinez.

Expect playful banter, snowball fights, and so many feels you'll wonder how this book contains them all.

This is an Own Voices book featuring a neurodiverse main character. TW for strong language, family loss, and alcohol abuse.

Genres: Romance, Slow Burn, Friends To Lovers, Contemporary, Mental Health, Contemporary Romance, Mental Illness

362 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 17, 2022

About the author

Raina Ash writes stories about healing love—stories that are emotional, funny, and uplifting. Expect complex, resilient women searching for love, passion that's off the charts, neurodiverse characters, and protective men you can’t help but crush on.

Raina lives in Arizona with two cats and several plants she struggles to keep alive. She enjoys quiet moments, video games, crafting for nerdy causes, and sushi. Lots of sushi.

She can be found on Instagram and TikTok @RomanceByRaina. Visit www.romancebyraina.com for updates about soon-to-be released books and freebies.

Reviews

[The Kentucky Fried Bibliophile · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love and Panic by Raina Ash is a loveable story about a woman who has panic disorder who ventures out of the safety of her home to save a man who has drunkenly fell face first in a snow packed street.

This two person POV narratives take you on a journey of a woman suffering from a panic disorder due to a terrible accident and the other is a man who suffers from grief and tries to numb the pain with alcohol. They develop a friendship that helps them to cope, but unexpectedly deeper feeling develop and both struggle to fight it.

Love and Panic is going to the top of my best reads in 2022!

If you love a book that has a grumpy x sunshine trope, Love and Panic is for you!

Thank you to @Netgalley and Pink Fox Publishing for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Zoe Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

WHY DID I NOT START THIS SOONER?

I have had this as a NetGalley ARC since December and I cannot believe I waited so long to read this? The story follows Natalie (the sunshine), a woman with pretty enhanced PTSD, agoraphobia, and panic attacks, who saves Dean (the grumpy), an alcoholic and grief stricken medical doctor. Natalie and Dean strike up a deal that she will give him a safe place to drink in exchange for helping ensure that she is safe while experiencing her frequent panic attacks.

This was very slow burn as they each have a lot of trauma and things to work through which I think really helped them in the end. I wanted to slap Dean upside the head most of the time just by how much he just wanted to make things miserable for himself (but that's the point right?).

The mental health and therapy representation was so well done. I cried at the end due to how much growth and healing happened with the two. I just wanted to hug Natalie so bad for how much progress she made in the end. She was still pretty content about her issues in the beginning but once she grew from her breaking point, I began to adore her even more! I JUST LOVED NATALIE!! Dean had me worried there for a while but he came through in the end and so happy he got to where he did in the end.

Loved this book and highly recommend

[Maia · Rating 4 out of 5]

The tears made it really hard to read!

But yeah, I'm so happy I read it :)

[Brittanica Bold · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my second run-in with Ash, and I absolutely loved her first book I read, Nonverbal, so I had high hopes for this one. Needless to say, it didn’t disappoint!

What I liked about the book:
1. I love grumpy/sunshine romances and this one was so good! I love watching a real grump fall to his/her knees for the Golden Retriever equivalents of the human world, and that is exactly what we got with Natalie and Dean.

With her positive vibes, endless supply of Christmas movies, and her ability to be snarky right back, him and his Grinch complex really had no shot in hell at not falling for her.

Similarly, his ability to protect her on such a basic level because of his medical background and his patience (that somehow, he was able to scrounge up for her alone), made him such an obvious choice for her. The moment these two met, it clicked for me how perfect ending up with a doctor would be for her and I loved it!

2. Raina Ash writes neurodivergent characters well! I loved seeing someone with OCD and panic attacks realistically depicted and still shown as loveable. As someone who has managed OCD my entire life, I received a lot of validation and hope from this book. There were so many times where Raina described an episode or a thought process of Natalie’s and I felt completely seen.

As someone who has had the same whirlwind, paralyzing thoughts as Natalie, THANK YOU FOR THE REPRESENTATION OF MY PEOPLE AND THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

3. I loved how imperfect both of our MCs were and that they both had to struggle with their own problems together and apart. It was so realistic and definitely didn’t feel like Dean just rode in as the Knight in Shining Armor to save the little OCD girl.

I’ve been around my fair share of alcoholics and showing Dean as two people/personalities was perfect! Loved his kind, gentle side he showed for Natalie and Oliver, but also loved how realistic his drunk, dark side was. The switch Raina was able to flip on his personality really sold me on she knows what she is writing about.

The ways they were able to be there for each other were great, but I honestly loved seeing the growth they each had when they stepped apart. It shows that you really have to work on yourself, no one can “fix” you but you.

4. Obviously, I loved the holiday setting and all the snow. This was the perfect time for Raina to release this book and I thoroughly enjoyed it kicking off my holiday reading!

What could have been better:
1. With as much as these people pined for each other, I was expecting more in the spice department. I mean, she had handcuffs for god’s sake and not once was someone restrained for kink! (Isn’t that a rule where you can’t show a gun and then not have it go off? The same should be said for bedroom restraints!) I also was expecting more growls from Dean and dirty talk, neither of which were present, sadly.

Final Thoughts: Raina Ash is a godsdamn treasure and we need to keep her writing.

Final Rating: 4 drunk on love stars!

Thank you to Booksirens and Raina Ash for the free copy of this book. I am voluntarily leaving an honest review.

[Emily Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

So so good! I loved this one! I went into this book with no expectations and it was so emotional at one point, I even cried.

Natalie is a woman who has debilitating anxiety, OCD, and never leaves her apartment. Dean is an alcoholic drowning in his sorrows after a tragic event. The two of them slowly become friends, offering each other support. Natalie allows Dean to drink in the safety of her home, while Dean helps her slowly manage aspects of her anxiety, such as leaving her apartment. This emotional rollercoaster did not disappoint!

"We'll accept each other as we are, and we can be happy together for as long as we want, broken pieces and all."

TW: loss of a child, debilitating anxiety, & alcoholism

[Antonella Cappello-Cap · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natalie is smart, witty, sarcastic humour her only downfall is having agoraphobia but for having a good heart she saves Dean sexy pediatric doctor who is drunk off his mind and passes out in the snow at a bus stop…. From there this amazing messy relationship blooms and is disastrous too.

Love and Panic was such a beautifully written story showing two sides of two very different health issues. Natalie being agoraphobic and Dean being an alcoholic.. so how do two completely different people come together? I could not put this book down.. even when I had to I kept thinking what happens next, this will be a book I will always come back to to reread! The character are brilliant, funny, and sad all together. Emotions run high and low and that’s such a beautiful way to show people because reality is exactly like that whether or not you have mental health issues or a completely happy person. There are always highs and lows and “Love and Panic” show how two people can over come everything with love 💕

Thank you NetGalley, Raina Ash, and Pink Fox Publishing for the E-Arc of this book! It is a 10 star for me!

[Ash Siane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love and Panic by Raina Ash

So it’s late at night. I just finished Love and Panic by Raina Ash after reading for 5 hours after work, only pausing for a shower, even skipped dinner. I liked the book title but by the end of chapter 1, I wasn’t so sure I liked the story. By chapter 3, I changed my mind.

Natalie is terrified of the outside. She chose to escape from the uncontrollable in life. But she is not weak and helpless. She hasn’t given up on life. She’s determined to stay alive.

Dean broke my heart. Against his will he wanted to help Natalie and was drawn to her. She was his opposite in many ways. I loved her attitude of no judgment.

His self hurt was so well written. His torment so real - I couldn’t stop reading and morbidly devoured the words. Once upon a time I faced Dean’s kind of pain and self revulsion, self anger. I made a conscious decision not to resort to alcohol. Reading this made me so thankful for my choice.

[Lolo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh man, this book has me teary eyed! Amazing book and such a PRECIOUS romance! I needed this book and I didn’t even know it 🥹🥰

The battles of alcoholism & panic attacks mixed with OCD tendencies all stemming from PTSD…wow, very well done! And the characters developments! I finally got a FMC who knows her worth and holds her boundaries and a MMC who did the work to get over his demons as a method of groveling. Just overall very well done 👏🏻

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so good and heartbreaking. I loved seeing the personal growth from Natalie and Dean. I'm obsessed with my grumpy alcoholic men. The fact that he treated her so well and just wanted to help her in the way that was best for her. I would like a short story about their wedding and ideally a baby. I know he said he didn't want kids because of what happened but that was before he was sober so it's possible.

[Giselle Stiles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bravo 👏🏽 just… bravo 🥹

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

if you liked Written in the Oceans by Jeannie Choe then you should read this

(I received a copy of this book to review)

Trigger Warnings include:
alcoholism, discussions of suicide, detailed emotional grief, emotional abuse, obsessive compulsive disorder, AA, therapy, loss of a loved one, trauma (after effects of all of these things)

This reads as fun and lighthearted. I loved laughing at/with the characters, and not just the main ones. But there is nothing fun or lighthearted about the subject matter. When we meet Natalie and Dean, neither of them are on top of the world. In fact, they’re both struggling to just float above the surface of the crashing waves. Their pasts have taken away their futures. They’re both a mess, beautiful messes. And more than that, they’re both genuinely good people. In terrible situations after dealing with terrible circumstances. After a bizarre change of events, Natalie welcomes Dean into her carefully structured life. And she starts chipping away at Dean’s frozen heart. He sees her. Hears her. Accepts her. And Natalie gives Dean the same things in return. But he knows she deserves better than the path he’s leading himself down. That doesn’t stop them from building such a beautiful connection. A breathtaking bond. I loved the moments when they gave each other the space and safety to be free. I couldn’t help but cheer for Natalie when she did something without hesitation or fear, like opening her heart. Whether it had become a habit out of concern for her mental comfort, or because of his heart, it didn’t matter, Dean didn’t hesitate to be the strength she sought. I made the assumption early on what his dark demon is…but the reality of it? I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. Don’t even try to fight the tears reading this. They’re inevitable. I had a steady flow for a while, but all it took was one sentence, and I was in full ugly cry mode. Dean knew Natalie deserves actions, not just words. And he put the work in to be the man she deserved. The man he knew he had the ability to be.

My Favorite Quotes:
• “Any man with half a brain would die for a woman like you. I would."
• “We'll accept each other as we are, and we can be happy together for as long as we want, broken pieces and all."
• “I love you. I’ll prove that to you every day.”
• “Someday. Whenever you’re ready. If you want to.”
• “Thank you for saving me. I don’t want to imagine my life without you.”

7/10 Dirty Birdy
7/10 Friends to Lovers
9/10 Second Chance
7/10 Slow Burn
8/10 Tearjerker

[Ellie Bodington · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow look, another book that emotionally wrecked me.

[LatinaWithLibros · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love seeing mental illness being represented in a romance book. I hate how most books do not depict people struggling with their mental health as if those with anxiety, depression, etc. can't have a happily ever after. READ THIS!

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

BRB while I sob and try to come up with a review

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably one of my top books of all time.

Natalie’s anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Absolutely relatable. Do I think a semi is going to fly off the overpass and crush me? Improbable but not impossible.

The way the relationship develops feels so genuine. And the way each character addresses their trauma and past on their own but also face things together. I love it.

[Chelle D · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about to leave me in my feels for a very long time. I couldn’t put it down!

I am almost taken aback by how much I loved it.

I cannot thank Raina enough for writing this story. It has so much meaning and is a wonderful journey through grief, pain, mental health struggles, and eventually acceptance, healing, and love.

I could go on and on about this book but suffice it to say I’ll be recommending it to all my friends and buying a physical copy upon release date.

This book moved me, heart and soul.

Summary:

Natalie- agoraphobic, OCD, having new and more severe panic attacks, has not left her comfortable, safe apartment in a few YEARS. She has very real trauma from the sudden loss of family members and two different car accidents. The outdoors are only terrifying because of the numerous ways to die. She still enjoys people watching. One night as she’s looking at her window, she notices a handsome man stumbling around very drunk. As she is imagining his life story in her mind, he passes out- black out drunk, in the street! In the freezing wet, slushy snow! Right in the path the city bus takes! She frantically observes from her third floor apartment, hoping and praying someone intervenes. But they pass by without a second glance his way. She absolutely MUST do something. So she faces her phobia with the motivation that she could not watch as someone else dies in front of her; not even a stranger.

She pulls the man from the slush, drags him, wobbling, back into the apartment and tries to leave it at that. But the man, Dean, follows her and ends up in her apartment on her couch. They strike up an unusual connection; this self declared alcoholic with no plans to seek treatment, and the agoraphobe. They make a deal- Dean will no longer go out to bars and get black out drunk, he will safely drink at Natalie’s apartment whenever he wants and stay on the couch. In return, he will provide her some company and help her work towards her goal of walking down the street to the coffee shop in preparation for a date she agreed to after Christmas. Dean is also a doctor and is able to help her with an anxiety prescription and monitor her symptoms. They simultaneously becomes a safe haven for each other to weather their individual storms.

This story is in duo pov, and Dean is the most tortured, beautiful soul.

Natalie is both relatable and so warm and kind. You’ll be rooting for her to succeed!!

[Lesley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Natalie has not had an easy life. She's dealt with many traumatic events which has impacted her mental wellness - she hasn't left her apartment building in over 3 years and suffers panic attacks often. One panic attack has her calling 911 because she is certain that she's having a heart attack, where she meets firefighter Clayton.

While she's afraid to go outside, she's not afraid to watch what's happening outside so when she sees an intoxicated man stumbling and falling down in the street one snowy night, her instinct to save him pushes her so far out of her comfort zone that she rushes outside to help get him out of the street before he gets killed by incoming traffic. Little did she know that this chance encounter with Dean, would impact her entire life.

Without going into so many spoilers that it would give the story away, Natalie's encounters with both Clayton and Dean make her want to change her current situation and she continues to work with her therapist virtually so that she can move past her fears.

Love & Panic was not an easy breezy read - it just shows that everyone has some sort of emotional baggage that they carry with them, some more successfully than others, but dealing with them can be a long road - practice brings progress and understanding and connecting with others who 'get' you and accept you as you are, knowing that you can only change for yourself and not because someone else wishes it on you.

Very well written, and while it was slow going at times, I know that it was necessary to show the stumbles as well as the successes and strength comes from the persistence and opening up to others. I will be looking forward to more books written by Raina Ash.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Kmae.reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sort of spoilerish TW talk at the very end

I’m definitely in the minority for this one compared to my fellow buddy readers. This isn’t a bad book, I enjoyed the first half. I thought it was funny and (sadly) a bit relatable to my own struggles with anxiety and having my feelings/ issues dismissed by family/friends who mean well but won’t take the time to really understand.

I unfortunately just didn’t feel the chemistry between the two MCs— I wish it could’ve been a solid, long term friendship before diving into anything more. That would’ve been more fitting for me. I really enjoyed them as friends. Another issue I had, which is completely an issue of my own— I wasn’t prepared for a specific trigger of mine before starting this one. ❌Spoilerish here, although it hints at this happening very early on in the story— my postpartum anxiety was constantly telling me that my son was going to randomly die if i didn’t do x, y, and z. I didn’t realize these very real fears were still lingering so that also took me out of the story a bit. ❤️

[Anonymous 5 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a first time read for me by this author, but it definitely won't be my last. If you're a fan of Colleen Hoover, then this book is right up your alley. This is a heartwarming and inspiring story that will give you all the feels. The story has a grumpy/sunshine trope and is told in dual POV. It follows Natalie, a woman who is smart and witty and has a kind heart, and she suffers from agoraphobia and panic attacks. Dean is a former pediatric surgeon and after experiencing a family tragedy and divorce, is now an alcoholic by choice. One day he passes out in front of Natalie's building almost getting hit by a bus, until Natalie comes out and saves him. They then make an interesting deal where she gives him a safe place to drink while he becomes her guide to the outside world. And so begins a beautiful relationship between them.
The story was amazing and brilliantly written showing the two different health issues and how these two struggling individuals helped each other and guide each other on a difficult journey of personal growth. Such an emotional story that pulled at my heartstrings and I could not put it down. I was captivated from start to finish. The author did an excellent job of creating an engaging story and bringing the characters to life. The characters were realistic and endearing and I couldn't help but fall in love with them. Their struggles will break your heart, but leave you rooting for them till the end. A beautiful story that I wholeheartedly recommend!
I received a complimentary copy from Netgalley and am voluntarily leaving my review.

[lemonyemilyreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley, Xpresso Book Tours and Raina Ash for providing me with this arc in exchange for an honest review!

Love and Panic by Raina Ash is a story about a women named Natalie who suffers from anxiety, panic attacks and has OCD. She worries everything in life can kill her and so she decides that staying home is safe and better.. that is until she meets Clayton and Dean.

Natalie is a VERY relatable character. As someone who also deals with debilitating anxiety every day, I enjoyed being able to completely understand and sympathize with what she’s going through. Once Natalie meets Dean and saves his life in the street, she’s able to learn coping mechanisms to help her anxiety and not let her panic and worry spiral into something worse. The coping mechanisms are helpful and they really do work! I’ve been told to use the same grounding and coping techniques before for my own anxiety. Using something cold to help get your mind out of fight or flight mode is something I also use.

The character development was also really nice to see with Natalie. Natalie realizing she can’t just live her life at home and wanting to enjoy life outside the walls of her place was a huge moment. Dean was a big reason for showing her that she can do things if she works on it.

At first I thought that both Natalie and Dean weren’t right for each other but it turns out they brought out the best in each other. They were both able to be themselves without judgement and that’s something that’s hard to find. They both had moments of “what am I doing with my life?” that I think wouldn’t have happened if they weren’t in each others lives. I also just really love how much they both care for each other.

Overall, this book was a very good read. Raina had me hooked all the way through. I look forward to reading more Raina Ash books in the (hopefully near) future

Tropes: strangers to lovers, dark secret

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has health anxiety, I could somewhat relate to Natalie. I know what it's like to think something bad is going to happen if you try a certain medicine to help combat the anxiety, and end up not taking it.
Natalie and Dean both have a lot of demons to face from their pasts and they find the support within each other to move past and begin healing. Does it happen overnight? Are there stumbling blocks along the way? Will they make it in the end?
This is a voluntary review of a free book I received from Book Sirens.

[Rose Grabowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natalie has a panic disorder and has stayed in the safety of her home for the last 3 years. She sees a drunk man staggering outside in a snowstorm. He passes out and will be hit by the bus that is scheduled to come a few minutes later. She overcomes her terror long enough to drag him off the street. He is frozen and barely conscious, and she decides to take a chance and put him on her couch. Dean is a pediatric surgeon who has faced unspeakable tragedy. He is a semi-suicidal alcoholic. They form a friendship and try to help each other. They face their traumas alone and as a team. The characters are realistic and engaging and were easy to root for.

[Rach3l · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a good book. I loved these imperfect characters who both have major issues to work through. Even though they may have been working through more extreme versions of anxiety, alcoholism, grief, and depression, it was still relatable. Can’t wait to read more by this author.

Side note: I received a copy of this book in exchange for a honest review

[Taylor Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love and Panic is a dual POV about a woman with a severe panic disorder and a grief-stricken man who uses alcohol as a coping mechanism. What starts as an unlikely friendship slowly builds to more. Natalie, the female MC, is bright, bubbly, and everything sweet, while Dean, the male MC, is the very definition of the Grinch. These two are opposites, yet their interactions are hilarious, genuine, and heart-melting.

For me, this book moved slower than I would have liked, and there was too much internal dialogue that I could have skipped over, especially from the female MC.

Raina Ash does a beautiful job of depicting alcoholism and panic attacks in a realistic light. It was also lovely to see two characters go through these things and still receive love and a happy ending.

Thank you, Booksirens and Raina Ash, for sending me this ARC in return for an honest review.

[Veronica · Rating 5 out of 5]

[ Review time ]

Title: Love & Panic
Author: Raina Ash
Genre: General Fiction (Adult)/Romance
Release Date: Nov. 17th 2022
Publisher: Pink Fox Publishing
My rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

wow wow wow.

The amount of good books I’ve read recently makes me seriously wonder if I did something really amazing in my past life!🥵😍🥹😨🤯

This was my first book by Raina Ash but it will definitely not be my last!
It was such a beautiful story, extremely well written and Raina really tackled the heavy topics in a phenomenal way!👏🏻
(TW: acoholism, panic attacks, depression, family loss)

It was spot on in so many ways for me personally and I could really connect to both Natalie AND Dean.
If you read this one - be ready to shed some tears though! (still so worth reading it🖤)

I thought I couldn’t add more book boyfriends to my list but here we go again, Dean proved me wrong😍🥹🥰

Read this one if you enjoy:
☀️Grumpy/Sunshine
🔥Slow Burn (but a goood slow burn)
🖤The guy falls first
❤️‍🔥Different traumas they help eachother get out from
💕Some amazing banter between the FMC and the MMC

It was a five out of five read for me without a doubt in mind!🌟

A big thank you to NetGalley, Pink Fox Publishing and of course Raina Ash for letting me read this ARC for an honest review.

[Christine Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sooo goood! I love how the two characters meet and how they are so different but so similar with their trauma and pain. The female lead should be so depressed with what has happened to her but she’s so strong and keeps on going. The male lead is such a complex character but so worth it to read the ending! Not too much drama involving other characters but I love how this whole story progressed!

[Mandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐

[Linda Jerome · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love and panic

This book was very different if from what I have been reading, however, I really enjoyed the story. It was out of my comfort zone but knowing a few people with anxiety and other related issues, it really showed me how important it is to be open and helpful to other even when you understand them.

[Vanessa McLean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of personal growth for each character throughout!

[Selva · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐

Una mujer que quería vivir, un hombre que quería morir
Funcionó bastante bien para mi, aunque lo único que no entendí muy bien fue la circunstancia en que murió el hijo de Dante
Además, entiendo que implica la agorafobia, pero hay cosas que tal vez por ignorancia no sabría como opinar
Se me antojo sumamente raro como Natalie tenia una personalidad extrovertida siendo que ella sufre lo que sufre, pero ella le dio su sasón a su relación con Dean
Me pareció un poquito feo que justo después que hayan intimado Dean se haya echado para atrás e hiriendo de paso a Natalie, pero de nuevo, todo viene como resultado de traumas y ansiedad
Creo que Natalie es una gran guerrera y aunque Dean no vea el valor de la vida, ambos se tienen el no al otro