Wherever I position myself, ... there is an upwelling of alterity that can ... generate ripples of slantways thinking.
Memoir as a collection of essays, recollections and descriptions, narrated by someone who has been labelled as “autistic”, whatever that signifies, and was born in Saudi Arabia, but is not an “Arab”. This is not an easy read, because of the unapologetic use of Arabic and “technical” words, which had me reading Wikipedia entries to understand the author.
This is a memoir that makes me think, considering things anew, but doesn’t often engage me emotionally. It’s fun and thought provoking though, so I enjoyed learning Burge’s story. I suspect the reference to slantways at the beginning is riffing off Emily Dickinson’s “Tell all the truth but tell it slant”, so I also appreciate the occasional literary reference.
I’m not going to agree with all of the author’s analysis about autism, and this might be because I’m not autistic (so on what basis am I qualified to have an opinion), or it might be because I consider that the author, despite saying that there is a whole colour circle range of autism, then sometimes narrows her description to a smaller segment. It can sometimes feel as if she is universalising her experience, rather than appreciating its particularity. However, she is aware of this, later saying:
The way I perceive and relate to being autistic is not inherently 'right' or shared by all autistic people, and I wouldn't claim to speak on behalf of anyone else. All autistic people, like all non-autistic people, are different, so the story I tell is only my story - and only one of my stories at that. The way I feel about this, as with so much else, is contrary and contradictory, mercurial and manifold. In a world that increasingly expects easy-to-digest sound bites of self, I want to slip liquid and fast, to preserve the potential that resides in the chthonic primordial form. This does not make me nothing, it makes me, potentially, anything.
Nonetheless, Burge’s description of her experience is brilliant in just trying to provide a glimpse of what it might be like. It may not be objectively definitive, but it works for me, I feel as if I have obtained an insight.
Knowing that all memoir is fiction and that all fiction is memoir, and that what arises along the turbulent horizon in between is inherently transcultural, I wanted to make a useful performance of the past and the present, to slip around the facts to tell a truth.