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Poza czasem. Przyjemności i przypadłości starzenia się

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Odważne spojrzenie na proces starzenia się autorstwa wybitnej pisarki feministycznej. Kim jest ten nieznajomy, który patrzy na ciebie z drugiej strony lustra? Co dzieje się wraz z upływem wieku z ambicją i seksualnością? Czy starzy zawsze muszą być w konflikcie z młodymi? W miarę jak miliony osób z wyżu demograficznego zbliżają się do szóstej lub siódmej dekady pytania te stają się coraz bardziej palące. Błyskotliwa, poruszająca i wymagająca książka Lynne Segal jest pilną i konieczną korektą schematów i tabu, które ograniczają życie osób starszych.

316 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2013

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910 people want to read

About the author

Lynne Segal

19 books39 followers
Lynne Segal is an Australian-born, British-based socialist feminist academic and activist, author of many books and articles, and participant in many campaigns, from local community to international.

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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
Profile Image for AJourneyWithoutMap.
791 reviews80 followers
November 7, 2013
It is much safer and easier to ask someone who’s in their sixties or seventies their age, something which we dare not ask someone who’s in the thirties or forties. Old age is not an easy thing. Someone once said, “Old age is not for sissies!”

In a bold new book Out of Time: The Pleasures and Perils of Ageing, British academician Lynne Segal, who is a professor of psychology and gender studies at Birkbeck College, London, delves into the issue of aging in a passionate and striking manner, exploring both its pleasures and perils in a definitive study as she only can.

Without mincing words, Segal discusses the fear of growing old which is not the attitude of some few people but the vast sea of humanity. Both a memoir and analysis, Segal also pointed that the process of aging is complex but not without its fair share of happiness. There are also the joys of love and sexuality as one grows older. It is a book that educates the reader on the subject of aging, and to view the aged with more understanding and compassion.
Profile Image for Dierregi.
256 reviews3 followers
February 7, 2023
Not being an expert of feminist studies, I picked this book only because it sounded interesting. Old age is perhaps the last "taboo" topic (together with death). It's a given that we either die young or grow old, but we prefer to avoid dwelling on either option.

I was expecting a personal reflection on growing old and perhaps a bit more about the "pleasures". Obviously a book titled "Getting old mostly sucks" was not going to do good business but unfortunately the content points to that direction and it adds very little to what anybody can figure out.

Segal and most authors she quotes agree about the fact that getting old means losing almost everything: looks, health, sex drive, friends, family, work, etc… Some losses concern mostly women, such as youthful beauty. The majority of beautiful women never recover from this tragedy, because their looks are what they are valued for.

The advantages and disadvantages of losing sex drive are also debated at length. This is the real tragedy for men, who either deny or defy their decreasing virility. Women are less concerned, but apparently they should be more.

Some heavy pages deal with loss of autonomy, dependence, illness and loneliness and how important it is to create ties with the new generation. However, this is quite difficult because the generation gap widened, due to many factors.

Segal acknowledges that being wealthy helps to cope with aging and that "ignoring age" can be a useful strategy to manage, quoting Mick Jagger as one of lucky few good examples.

From the introduction I learnt that Segal is a professor of psychology and gender studies and that she was involved with the feminist movement in the 70s. She is clearly well acquainted with Simone de Beauvoir, whose work is quoted throughout the book. References to many other authors are scattered throughout the book and it's what I found most disappointing, as if Segal needed anybody more authoritative to support her theories.

Because of that I found the book slightly disappointing, besides being gloomy and the tittle misleading. Should have been: "Everything that will go wrong while (if) you age - An anthology of authorities in the field, edited by Segal".
19 reviews
May 6, 2019
As a person working on the rights of older people and ever learning more I found this book incredibly interesting and I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Amy Holstead.
63 reviews
August 24, 2025
More like 3.5⭐️

My first impression of Lynne Segal.

While I found this book enlightening I’m still not entirely sure what it was about. Specifically I don’t understand how the conclusion reached was we should “express compassion for the lives of others” when so many interesting lines of thought were pursued to no definitive conclusion, such as bodily autonomy and inter-dependence. It felt like a cop out to come to such a generic conclusion

There was SO much reference to other academics, to the point that i could not distinguish Segal’s voice from that of other sociologists/philosophers. I was particularly confused that Freud was (rightly) shamed for saying that “old people are no longer educable” but then constantly quoted throughout the book. However, do love a wee bit of Freud myself.

It also seemed that many of the positive reflections about ageing were followed by lines like “however this is only possible when your rich” which got tiresome. Wish she’d talked more about her co-living situation in Brixton in the 80s.
Profile Image for Theresa.
1,385 reviews19 followers
September 16, 2020
I have mixed feelings about this book. A friend and I read it together (as a mini-study group). I am a contemporary of Segal's. I too was a feminist activist (still am) beginning in the late 60's and 70's. I shared many of the experiences that she described: the exhilaration of movement togetherness (when your work life, home life and personal life were melded together), the struggles to understand feminism over time (I taught Women's Studies for over thirty years) and the fact of aging in this world that doesn't appreciate women or elders. So I liked some portions of the book. Many passages stood out for their insight and truth. But the book reads more like a literature review, touching on the thoughts of many writers and thinkers. It was too scattershot for me. I also felt at times her cynicism. For example, she implied that the feminism of her youth was a fad, replaced by the next exciting movement to come along. It was not and never will be a fad for me. I and many of my cohorts still live feminism, not the way we used to but in new ways. She also almost implied that aging feminists who claim to feel freedom by being disengaged with sex were deluding themselves. That type of thinking is suspiciously like "women don't know their own minds," a favorite of the patriarchy.
I also wish she would have spent more time writing about her own thoughts and feelings about aging. The book was more successful in my mind when she inserted herself more. I appreciate her quotes from other writers, like Sarton, Beauvoir, Walker, Rule and so many others, most of whom I read when I was younger. I could have done with less Freud. But I felt her presence sorely lacking.
Profile Image for Sue Batcheler.
110 reviews
July 29, 2014
Interested enough to be taking notes! Either that or I'm not sure I'll remember it..
Having now finished this book, I would definitely recommend it but with the rider that I did get irritated by the constant referencing to other writers. However, very thought provoking
69 reviews3 followers
December 27, 2017
We are all getting older; some of us, if we're lucky (think of the alternative..) are going to get really, seriously, incontrovertibly old. With big wrinkles. In our youth-obsessed culture, this is probably worth pointing out, especially to those who may think that the deeply considered and incisive thoughts on ageing contained in Segal's book do not apply to them; believe me, they will, and it may just be worth preparing yourself for the day that you look in the mirror and you find your mother/father looking back at you.
Segal is a writer and respected academic, and her familiarity with the research process has resulted in a fascinating and wide ranging text ,of interest to both men and women ( although, really, I think that more women than men will read this) Drawing on sources from Art, Literature and contemporary culture, from Simone de Beauvoir to Jo Brand, for example, Segal looks at the psychology and politics of ageing. On a personal level, I really appreciated the detailed notes section, and have enjoyed reading some of the writers she references. I love it when one book leads to another.
There is memoir here - Segal herself is on the lower slopes of old age - but if it's a memoir-only book you're looking for, you may be better trying Diana Athill; if you're prepared to be challenged, as well as touched, this may be right up your street.
Profile Image for Diane B.
604 reviews4 followers
February 23, 2020
I picked this book up on the recommendation of Barbara Ehrenreich in Natural Causes and have been reading a few pages at a time.

Thoughtful and scholarly, at times a bit academic, this book is a great source of different perspectives on aging, from the ancient Greeks to present day.

Very rich, this one is going on a re-read list! In fact, it it causing me to create that category of books now for myself.

I found references to more authors and books to read:
- poet May Sarton
- Finnish writer Tove Janssson and her Summer Book
- Penelope Lively's short story: The Party
- John Updike: My Father's Tears
- Alix Kate Shulman, Drinking the Rain
- Alice Walker's poem, "What Do I get for growing old: A picture story for the curious"

I like the idea that as we age we retain a certain access to all the selves we have been, rather than a sense of loss of leaving those selves behind.

I also appreciated the insights shared of writers caring for those with Alzheimers and dementia, that it is not all horror, but sometimes a place of joy and gratitude.

Walter Benjamin's sense that memory is an ever-changing repertoire of possibilities rather than any faithful registering of events.
84 reviews4 followers
January 3, 2020
A work(wo)manlike book, useful mainly as a compendium of the literature on aging; rather dull; not well edited. She refers, for instance, to a book by Edmund White without naming it in the text, nor does White appear in the index. Her feminist "takes" on aging are not particularly new; I'd much rather read, say, Jean Amery, De Beauvoir (who is cited at length), Jane Miller or Diana Athill, who make this book feel redundant.
4 reviews
June 26, 2020
As a relatively young person at the age of 25, I found this book to be an extremely profound take on the topic of aging. Unless we have grandparents or older co-workers, which is less that case these days, when do we get to have conversations with the elderly on what life means, the difficulties of aging and the untold beauties of being an elderly person.

Though I found the 1st third of the book difficult to get through, Segal eventually lets the hypothesis language digress and writes with a more fluid tone for the rest of the book. This book made me question what type of person I want to be while aging. Also and more importantly, I was able to reflect on the grief and death I have experienced in my life and was encouraged to dismantle the lies I have been told about being old, dying and issues around grief.

I recommend this book solely on the fact that Segal deconstructs neo-liberal and capitalist ideals of aging in order to give us a real, gripping portrait of what it truly is like to age for both men and women alike. This book also touches on the ways the elderly have been disenfranchised and ignored by the state and in popular culture. I especially liked her take on the ideas and issues around aging "agelessly" in culture and how it penetrates how we discuss old age with almost everyone we know.

The younger you are able to read this book, the better.
Profile Image for Damaskcat.
1,782 reviews4 followers
August 2, 2014
Old age is regarded by many as something which happens to other people. We try and defy it by means of cosmetic surgery, dressing in the clothes we wore when young or in the latest fashions aimed at people in their twenties. Once they are over fifty many people report that they are invisible to most others and disregarded. The world seems to be organised round the young and the old and infirm are regarded as an unnacceptable drain on everyone's resources.

But are there other ways of looking at old age? Having reached my seventh decade and starting to think that maybe I ought to investigate the subject, I find that I don't try and avoid my age. I'm a glass half full person and I look for the advantages and many of the writers quoted in this fascinating study and thought provoking study look for the advantages too. I have had many positive examples of old age from close relatives in my life so I tend to think of it in a different way. I live in an area where there are a high proportion of retired people and I am constantly presented with examples of people in their sixties, seventies or eighties getting around under their own steam and enjoying life apparently to the full.

The author writes well and quotes many optimistic views of aspects of old age as well as many less optimistic views. Some even go so far as to say that anyone who can see good things about ageing much be morons or at the very least seriously deluded. This is a life affriming - and age affirming - book and it will cause anyone approaching their more mature years to examine their own hopes, views and fears of and for their own future. However it doesn't seek to gloss over the disadvantages and of course there are disadvantages to every age.

There are notes to accompany the text and I'm sure many readers will find themselves launched on a journey of exploration into the subject of ageing and old age in literature, art, politics, sociology and psychology. If you want to find out how our leading writers, philosophers and celebrities have looked at old age - both good and bad - then read this book. I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley for review.

Profile Image for Tara Brabazon.
Author 41 books516 followers
February 15, 2016
Lynne Segal is a warrior. Throughout her distinguished academic, writing and activist career she has fought for social justice, talking on intricate and intimate topics, and broadening the parameters of public discourse.

Segal was one of that extraordinary generation of Australians who 'fled' to the UK, away from the cultural cringe, tall poppies and suburban philistines. I often wonder what would have happened if they had stayed. They may not have been as personally or professionally successful, but Australia would have been a deeper, more textured and intellectually richer nation.

In Out of Time, Segal has moved her intellectual gaze to ageing. This is an incredible book. Firstly, it is incredibly moving. I found myself in tears at least five times. The writing is so evocative. The melancholy is so deep. But it is a complex book. It is not combating ageing. It is not presenting the uplifting stories of people triumphing over the odds. Instead, it sits in 'the problem' of ageing and offers pathways and strategies to think about life, love, support and death.

There is attention to both men and women. The disconnection of men from the workplace at retirement - alongside the bizarre viagra cultures that shadow older men - are explored. The solitude of women, that sometimes laps into loneliness, is revealed and gently probed.

Yes, this is a book about sex and death, suffering and survival. But it a book that I - as a Generation Xer - took to heart. Appreciate each day. Enjoy the laughter. Occupy your time with relish and passion. And when deciding between ageing and death, it is still valuable to select the former. As my 85 year old mother reminds me, "you are dead a long time."
Profile Image for Ellyn Lem.
Author 2 books22 followers
October 31, 2017
This book was referred to by many other sources I have been reading on aging, so I thought it was worth investigating myself. And it was. The style is very original...personal in places with some of her experiences being 60, but mostly, examining so many other literary sources for their reflections about getting old. While Segal mentions a few sources that have received a good deal of attention in aging studies like the work of May Sarton and Phillip Roth, she adds so many more to the mix, including theoretical"biggies" like Derrida, Barthes, Berger, Said, etc. The book has a slightly psychoanalytic bent to it, even as it brings in some terrible statements from Freud who thought "old people are no longer educable." She also brings in a feminist sensibility as she explains gendered differences regarding aging and shows that in literature, women show more hope about opportunities when growing old versus men like Roth and Amis, who fixate on masculine sexuality that might not be able to be sustained. Also valuable were Segal's points about socioeconomic status like her comment that "any source of optimism in old age requires a platform of economic security and well being." One of the most exciting aspects of reading this work is the recommendations for further reading that came as a result of her references. I will be checking out Julian Barnes' "Staring at the Sun," Penelope Lively's "Party," and the poetry of Elaine Feinstein. Definitely, a rich treasure trove this book.
Profile Image for Judy.
361 reviews
July 13, 2014
Interesting discussion of the psychological impacts of aging. It is definitely not a "how-to-survive" book, but the author's reflections on aging and its psychological impacts. There are lots of quotes from fiction and poetry interspersed with findings from studies. The author is British so there are references from both the UK and the USA.
Profile Image for Jeanne.
136 reviews3 followers
October 24, 2014
Really wonderful work that mixes memoir, literary criticism, philosophy and feminist thought to explore what it means to "age gracefully" especially as a woman.
457 reviews1 follower
February 21, 2024
Reads like a B+ high school term paper. I felt like Ms. Segal wrote this for a dissertation or something; the quotable facts supported her conclusions, but you could tell that she chose the facts first and then elaborated on them rather than start with her unique position the finding facts that support it. The few facts are good (i.e. that older people begin to feel invisible); but she doesn't really round out her feelings/opinions. I'd suggest she should have written a novel presenting her hypothesis nest time. But for me, once burnt is enough. Although I am very affected by ageing and am diligently feeling around for facts, this pendant, boring writing style doesn't interest me. (Read the first few chapters word for word, skimmed the rest.
Profile Image for Justine H..
2 reviews
August 6, 2019
The title was so intriguing, but the writing is a let-down. I was expecting more personal reflections of growing older and hear about other people stories on how they are managing theirs. Instead, it is full of quotes from other people, page after page, to support the author's theory of ageing and it reads like a university thesis. And it is nothing new or ground-breaking. Message: Growing old isn't fun. It is the pits. Setbacks. Losses. More setbacks. More losses.
After a while, trying to finish the book got depressing.
Thoughtful and insightful at time, but not enough for a pleasurable read. Good for hardcore fans of dry facts and argumentative writing style.
Profile Image for Lael.
429 reviews2 followers
February 29, 2020
A victim of my expectations. I was expecting something more personal,practical and relevant to what it's like to age. I found this to be dry and almost academic. Its more of a history/accounting of how our society views aging.
Profile Image for Janet B.
154 reviews
October 3, 2020
Interesting exploration of issues around getting old. The best bits were the personal thoughts and experiences of the author. I found the rest of it a rather tedious review of all the books, articles and research that she has read.
219 reviews3 followers
April 16, 2022
Minuteman. Pulls together reflections of other well-known writers. Didn't send me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
1,625 reviews
June 4, 2022
Contains many interesting excerpts and perspectives on ageing.
Profile Image for César .
23 reviews1 follower
August 3, 2015
For as long as I can remember, I've been afraid of getting old. Not just old age itself, but the process. I am afraid of not getting where I am 'supposed' to be and that when old age arrives I'll be helpless and bitter. And after that, old age would be just disastrous. Now I'm a bit more hopeful. Reading how different people deal(t) with their own old age and the pleasures and displeasures it brought with them has made me, in some way, a bit less afraid and even a bit anxious (in a good way) of what old age (if I get to it, that is) will bring.

Now, on the less self-centered side of things, it has made me see old people in a different light, and has made me think as how I should deal with my own immediate family when old age is upon them. We tend to look at older people as helpless and fragile, as if as soon someone passes certain age their agency and self-sufficiency is completely lost and can't think nor make decisions for themselves. Some of it might be true for people suffering from diseases that greatly affect their mental processes, but we have got to stop seeing old people as some kind of afterthought, or nuisance.

Segal writes on many aspects of old age and how they are seen: the supposed generation war, where young and old are presented (not by Segal) as enemies; how love and intimate relationships change with age, as do the perspective on past opinions, positions and political contexts.

I am sure I'll be revisiting this book in the decades to come, and recommend people, young and old to check it out.
Profile Image for Tony Sullivan.
Author 3 books9 followers
April 6, 2022
While every generation complains of the one before, Lynne Segal says that today’s older people are also scapegoated for the woes inflicted by tough economic conditions and government economic policy (see especially pages 44-60). She points to ‘a fully orchestrated mainstream media festival’ positioning the old and young as competitors for state funding and jobs – commencing in the early 1990s, when the popular media shifted its attack from ‘work-shy’ youth to ‘greedy Baby Boomers’, despite abundant evidence that employment and income vary far more within generations than between them.

As well as diverting blame from systemic problems and economic management, the media’s attack on the Boomers has allowed it to vent to its ‘recurring hostility to those who participated in the freedom-loving 1960s’. The left-wing union militants, hippies and anti-war activists of the sixties and early seventies, and the union-bashing, welfare-slashing free-marketeers of the 1980s, have been ‘rolled into a single heritage’, so that those who pursued hopes of a better world can be blamed for the miseries meted out by neoliberalism. Yet as Segal also points out, the momentum of the anti-old campaign has been so strong that it has drawn in many on the political centre-left, including those of Boomer age.
Profile Image for Lori Kelly.
14 reviews9 followers
June 3, 2015
not as engaging and personal as Diana Athill. more theory, but applied vulnerable theory.
9 reviews2 followers
April 27, 2016
Inconclusive. LS roamed around the topic via literature. A thoughtful book, for slow musing rather than tangible insights.
Profile Image for Hazel Croft.
15 reviews4 followers
May 1, 2017
This is a wonderful, insightful and compassionate meditation on ageing, exploring the meanings we create about about ageing and the meaning of our lives, encompassing themes of love, desire, friendship, loneliness, dependency, loss, grief and resistance.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews

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