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Making Sense of Toxic Abusive People
Find Peace and Release, by Making Sense of, Understanding, and Learning how to deal with toxic abusive people who are mean, nasty, and just plain horrible. Get to know why they seek to belittle you, and others, putting you down and abusing you, all the while bragging, and getting others to believe, how wonderful they are, when they absolutely aren’t, when they’re the worst kind of person possible. Understand, how all their badness and abuse starts with and is connected to and rooted in the cancer of bullshit and what you can do about toxic psychological and emotional bullies who lie with abandon, bullshit, cheat and take advantage of, exploit, abuse, and manipulate you and others.
Become aware of how gaslighting and manipulation works. With this book and what it’s about you’ll come to know what makes a toxic abusive bad narcissist spouse, partner, husband, wife, boss, or family member tick and recognize what tricks they use, how they manipulate you by using your own goodness against you. Learn how to recover and heal from the trauma of such interactions and relationships through understanding, awareness, and making sense of this abusive and dreadful behavior and come to know how it wasn’t your fault.
You’ll also come to be aware, through understanding and making sense of how the basic underlying psychology of bullshit, hierarchy, dominance, and the superiority paradigm (so prevalent in our world) works, and be able to see the bigger picture as you’ll no longer be unaware, leading to Peace-of-Being, because you’ll know More, and thus you’ll be empowered. When we reach Understanding, and we can finally Make Sense of it all, our spirit heals.
Brutally honest, penetratingly insightful, and frankly self-aware, the authors of Making Sense of Toxic Abusive People refuse to shy away from dealing with ugly truths which have for so long been avoided, but which have to be dealt with, especially in our world today. A courageous read for those who value integrity and goodness, for those who refuse to allow lies, corruption, and deceit to prosper. A modern classic.
Become aware of how gaslighting and manipulation works. With this book and what it’s about you’ll come to know what makes a toxic abusive bad narcissist spouse, partner, husband, wife, boss, or family member tick and recognize what tricks they use, how they manipulate you by using your own goodness against you. Learn how to recover and heal from the trauma of such interactions and relationships through understanding, awareness, and making sense of this abusive and dreadful behavior and come to know how it wasn’t your fault.
You’ll also come to be aware, through understanding and making sense of how the basic underlying psychology of bullshit, hierarchy, dominance, and the superiority paradigm (so prevalent in our world) works, and be able to see the bigger picture as you’ll no longer be unaware, leading to Peace-of-Being, because you’ll know More, and thus you’ll be empowered. When we reach Understanding, and we can finally Make Sense of it all, our spirit heals.
Brutally honest, penetratingly insightful, and frankly self-aware, the authors of Making Sense of Toxic Abusive People refuse to shy away from dealing with ugly truths which have for so long been avoided, but which have to be dealt with, especially in our world today. A courageous read for those who value integrity and goodness, for those who refuse to allow lies, corruption, and deceit to prosper. A modern classic.
212 pages, Paperback
First published January 14, 2019
About the author
Syl Sabastian
13 books81 followers(Audio Version: https://goo.gl/YAEpnH)
"I admit to being an unusual person." - SS
From a comment on his profile pic, since writing one's own bio is so difficult:
“Beautiful and astounding. Kind of resembles an amazing character I know. Some call him the Weaver of the Unraveled, the Rekindler of Doused Fires, the Sandman of Endless Beaches, the Friend to the Friendless, the Harmonizer of Unsung Heros. And some even call him Syl.” - Na'Cher
From age 10, on the day he literally exploded a light-bulb, Syl Sabastian’s acute life-long love affair with Understanding began. Since then his focus on, and love of Awareness, or more accurately his struggle with non-awareness, has never let-up.
An intense reader in his youth, Syl absorbed over a book a day, including the classics read in chronological order, culminating in extensive science-fiction/fantasy/speculative reading. After transitioning to Applying and Living his philosophies, Appropriately, with Attunement the ever-present motivation and catalyst, it all morphed in time to an earnest propensity to write and communicate.
Syl and His Heart have owned restaurants, stores, online businesses, and travelled the world, while implementing and enjoying their life-perspectives of which he writes so deeply. As Biella is so fond of saying, "and there's More..."
"My life began, from earliest memory, with a peculiar precocious understanding of abstract concepts, a mystery which remains unexplained to any satisfaction. I feel I am traversing a circle back to my origin, except perhaps, now more aware of what I already knew." - From: The Young Man's Story
Syl is a great interview and an even better friend.
A Philosopher-Writer focusing on the Application of a comprehensive Practical-Personal-Philosophy. Creator of: The Philosophy of Appropriateness and: An A+ Philosophy. Writings range considerably, from extensive psychological perspectives to fiction. All connecting in one way or another to a unique vision. A consistent coherency permeates Syl Sabastian's extensive variety.
“Syl Sabastian is a Contemporary Philosopher and Writer, who exercises a glorious intellectual mind that is most admirable for its profundity and sharpness. Often offering multiple sides of an argument, he provokes self-introspection. His aim is to uncover Appropriateness, Awareness, Attention, Application, Attunement, and more, with a unique, high-level understanding of the profound intricacies that interlace these concepts.” - TJT & PDJ, Owners of the Gateway Gazette, Entrepreneurs, Writers, Moms.
"My blog is my best bio." -SS :) <3
“You fascinate me, you really do. I think of myself as a big deep thinker... your writing, at least what I think I understand it to be about, sounds like the basis for either a belief-system or a wonderful self-help process. Am I anywhere near the mark? I think your writing, even about yourself, is amazing by the way. Quite poetic.” - Andrew Reeves, Author, Screenwriter, Poet, Creator of The Empty World, The Voodoo Doll, Claire, The Dictionary of Stupid, and more.
Find Syl Sabastian on social media:
Facebook Twitter Google+ Tumbler
Mogul Pinterest Instagram Medium etc.
And don't forget to subscribe. :) :D https://eepurl.com/drie4z
Personal Consulting Services offered.
www.sylsabastian.blogspot.com
www.nobelia.org
"I admit to being an unusual person." - SS
From a comment on his profile pic, since writing one's own bio is so difficult:
“Beautiful and astounding. Kind of resembles an amazing character I know. Some call him the Weaver of the Unraveled, the Rekindler of Doused Fires, the Sandman of Endless Beaches, the Friend to the Friendless, the Harmonizer of Unsung Heros. And some even call him Syl.” - Na'Cher
From age 10, on the day he literally exploded a light-bulb, Syl Sabastian’s acute life-long love affair with Understanding began. Since then his focus on, and love of Awareness, or more accurately his struggle with non-awareness, has never let-up.
An intense reader in his youth, Syl absorbed over a book a day, including the classics read in chronological order, culminating in extensive science-fiction/fantasy/speculative reading. After transitioning to Applying and Living his philosophies, Appropriately, with Attunement the ever-present motivation and catalyst, it all morphed in time to an earnest propensity to write and communicate.
Syl and His Heart have owned restaurants, stores, online businesses, and travelled the world, while implementing and enjoying their life-perspectives of which he writes so deeply. As Biella is so fond of saying, "and there's More..."
"My life began, from earliest memory, with a peculiar precocious understanding of abstract concepts, a mystery which remains unexplained to any satisfaction. I feel I am traversing a circle back to my origin, except perhaps, now more aware of what I already knew." - From: The Young Man's Story
Syl is a great interview and an even better friend.
A Philosopher-Writer focusing on the Application of a comprehensive Practical-Personal-Philosophy. Creator of: The Philosophy of Appropriateness and: An A+ Philosophy. Writings range considerably, from extensive psychological perspectives to fiction. All connecting in one way or another to a unique vision. A consistent coherency permeates Syl Sabastian's extensive variety.
“Syl Sabastian is a Contemporary Philosopher and Writer, who exercises a glorious intellectual mind that is most admirable for its profundity and sharpness. Often offering multiple sides of an argument, he provokes self-introspection. His aim is to uncover Appropriateness, Awareness, Attention, Application, Attunement, and more, with a unique, high-level understanding of the profound intricacies that interlace these concepts.” - TJT & PDJ, Owners of the Gateway Gazette, Entrepreneurs, Writers, Moms.
"My blog is my best bio." -SS :) <3
“You fascinate me, you really do. I think of myself as a big deep thinker... your writing, at least what I think I understand it to be about, sounds like the basis for either a belief-system or a wonderful self-help process. Am I anywhere near the mark? I think your writing, even about yourself, is amazing by the way. Quite poetic.” - Andrew Reeves, Author, Screenwriter, Poet, Creator of The Empty World, The Voodoo Doll, Claire, The Dictionary of Stupid, and more.
Find Syl Sabastian on social media:
Facebook Twitter Google+ Tumbler
Mogul Pinterest Instagram Medium etc.
And don't forget to subscribe. :) :D https://eepurl.com/drie4z
Personal Consulting Services offered.
www.sylsabastian.blogspot.com
www.nobelia.org
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
January 15, 2023
Making Sense of Toxic, Abusive People has several things going for it. 1) It’s a self-help book that doesn’t talk down to the reader. 2) It offers real steps to dealing with toxic people, since there are some relationships in everyone’s life who just can’t simply be cut off. 3) It’s very well written and easy to read. I read the book in three evenings, and never felt like there was “filler” I wanted to skip. All the ideas were thought provoking and enlightening.
I’m fortunate in that, personally, I don’t have any toxic people in my friends and family circles. However, while reading, I identified several toxic people in my profession, including co-workers and customers. This book has provided me with some coping skills to better manage those relationships. It also made me look back at how I handled toxic relationships in past jobs, and I definitely could’ve handled my response to those people in a better, more productive way. But that’s part of the growth process, right?
Thank you Syl Sabastian for the insights! I know I’ll be referring to this book again in the future, just like some of the other commenters have mentioned.
I’m fortunate in that, personally, I don’t have any toxic people in my friends and family circles. However, while reading, I identified several toxic people in my profession, including co-workers and customers. This book has provided me with some coping skills to better manage those relationships. It also made me look back at how I handled toxic relationships in past jobs, and I definitely could’ve handled my response to those people in a better, more productive way. But that’s part of the growth process, right?
Thank you Syl Sabastian for the insights! I know I’ll be referring to this book again in the future, just like some of the other commenters have mentioned.
November 20, 2022
Impressive and human – in a good way. We’ve all met one. We don’t always recognize them. Sometimes life teaches us about them, sometimes a good friend and sometimes you’re just so frustrated wondering if you’re the one who’s crazy or useless so you go check on Google. And guess what. You find out you’re not alone and that monsters are indeed real. But also – that there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s that bully. That narcissist.
Once you’ve realized it, go read this book. It’s literally a 101 book. It’s friendly, it explains, it gives you a magnifying glass and shows you how to deal with them. This book will help you focus on the problem – if you haven’t focused on it yet, and will help you focus on a solution. It will help you not to feel alone in your struggle anymore.
Once you’ve realized it, go read this book. It’s literally a 101 book. It’s friendly, it explains, it gives you a magnifying glass and shows you how to deal with them. This book will help you focus on the problem – if you haven’t focused on it yet, and will help you focus on a solution. It will help you not to feel alone in your struggle anymore.
February 23, 2023
There are a lot of words and pages in this book. Let’s start with the title: “Making Sense of Toxic Abusive People: Dealing with & Understanding: Abuse and Bullying, Liars Toxic Personalities Partners & Narcissists, Manipulation & Gaslighting.” That long list of topics seems to set the stage for an impressive self-help tome.
After five or six pages of rave reviews, we have a six-page Chapter 0, which has many words describing “Empowerment,” ostensibly laying the necessary ground work for what follows. Then we have 21 chapters covering 189 pages, in which I was expecting to learn about the extensive array of topics listed in the title. These 22 chapters all follow the same elements: a cartoon illustrating some aspect of interpersonal relations, bold subheadings identifying various topics, and miscellaneous quotations. Of these elements, I found the cartoons to be quite good, the various topics to be repetitive and not especially profound, and the quotations to be mystifying. A few of the quotations are attributed to various people, such as Mahatma Gandhi and a character in a Sylvester Stallone movie, but most are apparently just quotes from the authors themselves.
I was disappointed that most of the topics listed in the title were not really covered at all – the book essentially amounts to a long diatribe against practitioners of bullshit, especially the most severe cases referred to as Bullshit-Manipulator-Narcissists (BMNs). These unnamed BMNs are repeatedly characterized as the lowest form of humanity with virtually no redeeming values or redeemable qualities. While stated in many different ways throughout the book, the message seems to be simple: “Bullshit is bad. Do not be fooled by it. Do not tolerate it, and do not empower bullshitters.” While a typical self-help book touts some sort of expertise on the part of the author, or some research to back up the claims and proposed actions, this one has none of that. It’s merely a collection of presumed “facts” that the reader should absorb, just because the authors say so.
After reading the 22 chapters, we come to a 7-page section titled “Endnotes,” which in my opinion is the best part of the entire book. In it, we learn that the book was initially intended to be titled “The Psychology of Bullshit – Understanding the Bullshit-Manipulator-Narcissist (BMN),” which is a much more apt description of what the book actually is.
While I was impressed by the earnestness of the book and the heartfelt sentiment of the authors, for me it fell short of the mark. The repetitive nature of the material came across as mostly filler. Especially unfortunate, given the book’s topic, was that it reminded me of the old joke I used to hear before a lecture: “If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with bullshit.”
I rate the book at 2.5 stars.
After five or six pages of rave reviews, we have a six-page Chapter 0, which has many words describing “Empowerment,” ostensibly laying the necessary ground work for what follows. Then we have 21 chapters covering 189 pages, in which I was expecting to learn about the extensive array of topics listed in the title. These 22 chapters all follow the same elements: a cartoon illustrating some aspect of interpersonal relations, bold subheadings identifying various topics, and miscellaneous quotations. Of these elements, I found the cartoons to be quite good, the various topics to be repetitive and not especially profound, and the quotations to be mystifying. A few of the quotations are attributed to various people, such as Mahatma Gandhi and a character in a Sylvester Stallone movie, but most are apparently just quotes from the authors themselves.
I was disappointed that most of the topics listed in the title were not really covered at all – the book essentially amounts to a long diatribe against practitioners of bullshit, especially the most severe cases referred to as Bullshit-Manipulator-Narcissists (BMNs). These unnamed BMNs are repeatedly characterized as the lowest form of humanity with virtually no redeeming values or redeemable qualities. While stated in many different ways throughout the book, the message seems to be simple: “Bullshit is bad. Do not be fooled by it. Do not tolerate it, and do not empower bullshitters.” While a typical self-help book touts some sort of expertise on the part of the author, or some research to back up the claims and proposed actions, this one has none of that. It’s merely a collection of presumed “facts” that the reader should absorb, just because the authors say so.
After reading the 22 chapters, we come to a 7-page section titled “Endnotes,” which in my opinion is the best part of the entire book. In it, we learn that the book was initially intended to be titled “The Psychology of Bullshit – Understanding the Bullshit-Manipulator-Narcissist (BMN),” which is a much more apt description of what the book actually is.
While I was impressed by the earnestness of the book and the heartfelt sentiment of the authors, for me it fell short of the mark. The repetitive nature of the material came across as mostly filler. Especially unfortunate, given the book’s topic, was that it reminded me of the old joke I used to hear before a lecture: “If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with bullshit.”
I rate the book at 2.5 stars.
January 17, 2023
What I liked about the book:
1.The cartoons were excellent—thought-provoking and made a point without preaching.
2. The Author is obviously passionate about this topic and had many good points to make. But buried in the verbiage, I found myself wondering why he/she would subject themself to spending time with these kind people or caring what they had to say or thought.
What I didn’t enjoy about the book:
1.The description of the book opens with, “Find Peace and Release, by Making Sense of, Understanding, and Learning how to deal with toxic abusive people who are mean, nasty, and just plain horrible.”
There was very little advise on how to deal with “toxic abusive people.” Instead, the book felt like a 212-page rant.
3. Each chapter had quotes but where did they come from? There were no attributions.
4. I felt like the author didn’t trust the reader to get the message. It felt repetitious and circular. Less would have been more. Plus, there was an overuse of “bullshit” and its variations—to the point that I found myself counting the number of times it appeared in each chapter. (Some hit over 50. Others less.)
If I had not agreed to reading the book and writing an honest review, I would have put the book down after the first or second chapter. Or I would have flipped through the chapters for the cartoons. They truly were excellent.
1.The cartoons were excellent—thought-provoking and made a point without preaching.
2. The Author is obviously passionate about this topic and had many good points to make. But buried in the verbiage, I found myself wondering why he/she would subject themself to spending time with these kind people or caring what they had to say or thought.
What I didn’t enjoy about the book:
1.The description of the book opens with, “Find Peace and Release, by Making Sense of, Understanding, and Learning how to deal with toxic abusive people who are mean, nasty, and just plain horrible.”
There was very little advise on how to deal with “toxic abusive people.” Instead, the book felt like a 212-page rant.
3. Each chapter had quotes but where did they come from? There were no attributions.
4. I felt like the author didn’t trust the reader to get the message. It felt repetitious and circular. Less would have been more. Plus, there was an overuse of “bullshit” and its variations—to the point that I found myself counting the number of times it appeared in each chapter. (Some hit over 50. Others less.)
If I had not agreed to reading the book and writing an honest review, I would have put the book down after the first or second chapter. Or I would have flipped through the chapters for the cartoons. They truly were excellent.
March 3, 2023
This book is a bit of a tricky one to review. Despite being somewhat put off by the long stretch of rave reviews at the beginning (my own bullshit detector was on alert at that point), it engaged and amused me right off the bat as it barrels along throwing out terms like bullshit, horseshit and crapola with gusto. It definitely has vitality, it's well-written easy to read, and I for the most part I enjoyed the tone, although I'm not convinced that the scope of this book is as great as the Impressive array of topics might suggest.
Aspects of it reminded me somewhat of some of the stuff in William Burroughs later novels like "The Place of Dead Roads," "We have observed that most of the trouble in the world has been caused by ten to twenty percent of folks who can't mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus." This book is less penetrating and profound in my opinion, and as the chapters rolled on I found it rather repetitive. However, I could see this book offering some solace and a certain amount of insight to people trapped in a relationship of some kind with said bullshitter/toxic personality, and that's most probably a good thing.
Aspects of it reminded me somewhat of some of the stuff in William Burroughs later novels like "The Place of Dead Roads," "We have observed that most of the trouble in the world has been caused by ten to twenty percent of folks who can't mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus." This book is less penetrating and profound in my opinion, and as the chapters rolled on I found it rather repetitive. However, I could see this book offering some solace and a certain amount of insight to people trapped in a relationship of some kind with said bullshitter/toxic personality, and that's most probably a good thing.
November 12, 2023
Repetitive, didn't really actually delve into how to deal with these people.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews