Birth Notes: A Memoir of Recovery

by Jessica Cornwell

'When a woman gives birth, she may, unwittingly, remember violent things. Ugly things. Unspoken things.'

After her twins were born, Jessica Cornwell stopped feeling. Plagued by memories of a traumatic birth, wrestling with ongoing physical pain and the brutal demands of caring for two tiny babies, she struggled to experience joy and love. Instead, she was consumed by fear and haunted by recurrent thoughts of blood and danger.

It was only when she received a diagnosis of post-partum PTSD and began therapy that Jessica was able to confront the secrets in her past. As she began to understand how her experience of birth had triggered her traumatic memories of sexual assault, she was finally able to integrate those memories into her identity as a mother and a survivor - and begin to heal.

'A redemptive tale of the power and wisdom of women's bodies' Leah Hazard

'This book undid me... and filled me with hope' Elinor Cleghorn

'Magnificent... a work of truth, understanding, scholarship and hope' Susie Orbach

'An astonishing memoir... about the intersection between birth trauma and sexual trauma, medical misogyny' Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

448 pages, Paperback

Published January 2, 2024

Reviews

[Beth McCallum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wowowow. This book is one of the best I've ever read, and possibly my favourite memoir. This book was THERAPY to me; I basically used it as a journal to talk back to the author who so wonderfully verablised things that I've not been able to say since becoming a mum. Thank you Jess, for the beauty of your words and bravery of your soul.

[Hylke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, wow, wow. That’s the only thing I can say. This is the BEST memoir I’ve ever read. Cornwell talks about her birth trauma, sexual trauma, motherhood and recovery in such a unique, beautiful and engaging way. Her story is told in fragments—resembling the fragmented memories she has of the birth of her sons—and alternates with facts about the conditions she suffered from, examples and quotes of famous people who had the same conditions, memories that seem to have nothing to do with her traumatic birth at first, relevant quotes and historical facts, and passages about her present life. Although sometimes triggering (because of (graphic) descriptions of blood, traumatic birth, (sexual) assault), I loved reading this memoir and flew through the pages. The last sentence is *chef’s kiss*. I would highly recommend this to anyone who is interested in creative nonfiction, the relationship between sexual trauma and birth trauma, recovery, and motherhood.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Only coming back to goodreads to rave about this book, because this needs a bigger audience. I loved this so so much!! The stigma on maternal mental health is huge, and this book does wonders in addressing and combatting it. The discussions on trauma were spot on.

[Tegan (Slant Postscripts) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy heck. I will be forever grateful that this book found me. I have never wept reading a book before, ever.

Its incredible power makes it very hard to review. But trauma folks, read this alongside 'What My Bones Know'. That is the highest compliment I can give both titles.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

A random pick at the library that is now probably the best memoir I've ever read. Absolutely beautifully written, and such a powerful, feminist exploration of maternal mental health. Everyone should read this, not just mothers! I'm not one and I learnt so, so much.

The task of calling things by their true names, of telling the truth to the best of our abilities, of knowing how we got here, of listening particularly to those who have been silenced in the past, of seeing how the myriad stories fit together and break apart, of using any privilege we may have been handed to undo privilege or expand its scope is each of our tasks. It's how we make the world.
-Rebecca Solnit

They, men, allege that we enjoy a life
secure from danger safe at home,
while they confront the thrusting spears of war.
I would rather join
the battle rank of shields three times
than undergo birth's labour once.
-Euripides, "Medea"

Trauma elides, trauma deflects, trauma obscures. It does not want to be pinned down, and yet pin it down we must. We defeat it by rendering it milk-sodden, word-bound. We capture it with the mundane, the quotidian, the resolutely dull, the drab confessional flung into the drab, empty air. Through staccato narratives of and then, and then, and then, we augment, mollify, contain. We narrate it into a corner. Then and only then, can we extract the borders of what was once invisible, can we hold it and see it up close, can we own it, define it, integrate it. Once we have done this, we may find, in our possession, something else entirely, something quiet, something still, something strong.
-Jessica Cornwell, "Birth Notes"

[Sardinesintomatosauce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found it in a bookshop and the blurb intrigued me. It is honestly so beautifully raw. Her unique writing style makes you feel connected to her and strongly emotive as you step into her shoes for 400 pages. she includes various quotes and extracts, accounts of trauma through childbirth throughout history in addition to her own, medical standpoints as well as feminist standpoints keeping you intrigued with every turn of the page. It opened my eyes to a different worldview which I love when reading. First read of the year and will probably be one of my favourites. Thank you for sharing your story Jessica!

[Courtney]

There are so many parts of being a woman that we are not supposed to speak out loud. I’m grateful the author shines a light on many of those things and in doing so, allows us to feel more compassion for ourselves (for what we’ve been through) and for other women (who have endured as well).

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible memoir - some parts I could have written myself and I am so grateful to still be here to read it. I have never felt so seen. A transformative book that I shall never forget.

[Frankie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is so impressive structurally as a memoir of dealing with trauma. It spirals in and out of the central event but comes back at the exact right moment. A lot of heavy stuff but somehow propulsive.