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Birth Control: The Insidious Power of Men Over Motherhood
A shocking, revelatory account of the dangerous misogyny that permeates pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood in America
Modern medicine should make pregnancy and childbirth safer for all. But in Birth Control, award-winning journalist Allison Yarrow reveals how women are controlled, traumatized, injured, and even killed because of the traditionalist practices of medical professionals and hospitals.
Ever since doctors stole control of birth from midwives in the 19th century, women have been steamrolled by a male-dominated medical establishment that has everyone convinced that birthing bodies are inherently flawed and that every pregnancy is a crisis that it alone can “solve.” Common medical practices and procedures violate human rights and the law, yet take place daily. Misogyny and racism, not scientific evidence and support, shape the overwhelming majority of America’s four million annual births.
Drawing on extensive reporting, expert interviews, an original survey of 1,300 mothers, and her own personal experiences, Yarrow documents how modern maternal health care is insidiously, purposefully designed to take power from women to the detriment of their physical and mental health—not just during labor, but for years after. She then shows a better way, exploring solutions both cutting-edge and ancient to—finally—return power and control to birthing people.
Full of urgent insights and heartfelt emotion, Birth Control is an explosive call to action.
Modern medicine should make pregnancy and childbirth safer for all. But in Birth Control, award-winning journalist Allison Yarrow reveals how women are controlled, traumatized, injured, and even killed because of the traditionalist practices of medical professionals and hospitals.
Ever since doctors stole control of birth from midwives in the 19th century, women have been steamrolled by a male-dominated medical establishment that has everyone convinced that birthing bodies are inherently flawed and that every pregnancy is a crisis that it alone can “solve.” Common medical practices and procedures violate human rights and the law, yet take place daily. Misogyny and racism, not scientific evidence and support, shape the overwhelming majority of America’s four million annual births.
Drawing on extensive reporting, expert interviews, an original survey of 1,300 mothers, and her own personal experiences, Yarrow documents how modern maternal health care is insidiously, purposefully designed to take power from women to the detriment of their physical and mental health—not just during labor, but for years after. She then shows a better way, exploring solutions both cutting-edge and ancient to—finally—return power and control to birthing people.
Full of urgent insights and heartfelt emotion, Birth Control is an explosive call to action.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published July 18, 2023
49 people are currently reading
4042 people want to read
About the author
Allison Yarrow
4 books54 followersAllison Yarrow is an award-winning journalist and National Magazine Award finalist who has written for the New York Times, the Washington Post, Vox, and many others. She was a TED resident and is a grantee of the International Women’s Media Foundation. She produced the VICE documentary Misconception and has appeared on the Today show, MSNBC, NPR, and more. Yarrow was raised in Macon, Georgia, and lives in Brooklyn, New York. (From the author's website)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
October 12, 2023
OMG. 1,000x YES.
I wish this book had existed when I was pregnant with my first child. It contains everything I was gleaning, from all of my disparate reading about pregnancy, birth, and models of care, but now it’s all in one clear place. Currently pregnant with a third, and planning for my third home birth, I believe Birth Control should be required reading for every pregnant woman in America. I’m buying copies and sending them to all the pregnant women in my life. (I underlined and highlighted so much of my own copy that it’d be a distracting reading experience if I were to lend it out.)
If you want to know how birth happens (or, more realistically, doesn’t happen, given all the interventions) in our country, this is a jaw-dropping, galvanizing survey. Allison Yarrow’s journalistic fervor and faithful reporting cover so much territory in the pregnancy/birth experience.
The book reveals, with astonishing detail, how women’s bodies are controlled, infantilized, and abused in pregnancy and birth in our country. Sexism and racism permeate the hospital birth system and the traditional OB model of care, which is something we often hear, but Yarrow makes it clear how these systems and their attending ideologies affect so many aspects of pregnancy and birth. There are, of course, moments when I don’t agree with all of her conclusions or could easily find exceptions to her stated rules, but overall, she is fair and thorough and does her part explaining how hospitals and OBs work and why they have the policies they do (indicating, for example, when they’re prevented from providing a more compassionate model of care because of the insurance machine and legal liabilities, to say nothing of the inherited traditions of misogyny and racism).
Fellow women, if this book doesn’t fire up your feminist leanings, I’m not sure what will. I hope so many people read this book—men and women, people inside and out of the healthcare system, people who are hoping to have babies one day or already have babies of their own. It will ignite a desire to reclaim physiological, woman-led birth for everyone in our country.
I wish this book had existed when I was pregnant with my first child. It contains everything I was gleaning, from all of my disparate reading about pregnancy, birth, and models of care, but now it’s all in one clear place. Currently pregnant with a third, and planning for my third home birth, I believe Birth Control should be required reading for every pregnant woman in America. I’m buying copies and sending them to all the pregnant women in my life. (I underlined and highlighted so much of my own copy that it’d be a distracting reading experience if I were to lend it out.)
If you want to know how birth happens (or, more realistically, doesn’t happen, given all the interventions) in our country, this is a jaw-dropping, galvanizing survey. Allison Yarrow’s journalistic fervor and faithful reporting cover so much territory in the pregnancy/birth experience.
The book reveals, with astonishing detail, how women’s bodies are controlled, infantilized, and abused in pregnancy and birth in our country. Sexism and racism permeate the hospital birth system and the traditional OB model of care, which is something we often hear, but Yarrow makes it clear how these systems and their attending ideologies affect so many aspects of pregnancy and birth. There are, of course, moments when I don’t agree with all of her conclusions or could easily find exceptions to her stated rules, but overall, she is fair and thorough and does her part explaining how hospitals and OBs work and why they have the policies they do (indicating, for example, when they’re prevented from providing a more compassionate model of care because of the insurance machine and legal liabilities, to say nothing of the inherited traditions of misogyny and racism).
“We don’t live in birth long enough to see it for what it really is: a system built in tandem with a profession founded on fear of the generative power of the birthing body. Obstetrics is a specialty constructed in the belief that Black pregnant bodies tolerate more pain and are predisposed to disease, while white pregnant bodies’ frailty requires expert control—medical arts, tools, drugs. The profession is highly skilled while simultaneously hamstrung by hospital systems for which maternity services turn the heftiest profit. Every birth is a manufactured healthcare crisis only doctors with rigid protocols in multi-million-dollar hospitals can solve. It is a system that has evolved to control women for money.”
Fellow women, if this book doesn’t fire up your feminist leanings, I’m not sure what will. I hope so many people read this book—men and women, people inside and out of the healthcare system, people who are hoping to have babies one day or already have babies of their own. It will ignite a desire to reclaim physiological, woman-led birth for everyone in our country.
July 24, 2023
WOW THIS BOOK MADE ME ANGRY. I *know* the health system is flawed, I *know* it was not made with women in mind, and I *know* that the US has poorer birth outcomes than other developed countries but learning about how the MATERNAL HEALTH field was basically made by men was so infuriating. Midwives were birthers in the 19th century and while there were issues about sterilization the birthing practices were more holistic and natural. When a male physician decided that this wasn’t the “right" way to give birth, the practice became more medicalized leading to less control and a feeling of learned helplessness on behalf of birthers. The interviews were heart breaking as we learned about women’s traumatizing birth experiences — it gave me so much to keep in mind should I one day be a mom. I can’t think of a single person who wouldn’t learn something new from this book and if you manage to finish it without being angry at the system, especially during this time where women’s rights are being curbed AGAIN, then you are part if the problem.
December 4, 2023
I really wanted to like this book, and there were many things that I could agree with the author on, but I can’t overlook some of the ideas that are presented as facts when they are opinions. It feel like I have a different perspective being a NICU RN, and I have seen plenty of “healthy” pregnancies end in chaotic deliveries. I appreciate that she acknowledges that there are many preexisting conditions that necessitate the need for hospital deliveries, but there are ways to create home-birth like environments in the hospital and still have professional assistance within arms reach. Obviously I can’t address every single idea or point that the author makes in this review, but I think at the very least this book should be taken with a grain of salt and pregnant women, or those hoping to give birth one day, should know that there are many more nuances than described in this book. I appreciate the call to action and the encouragement to consider the choices made by women in empowering their birth experiences.
January 20, 2024
I've never really read anything on this subject previously, but this was an incredibly compelling book. It was also horrifying. I'd recommend it to any mother or expectant mother; anyone considering becoming a mother; or anyone interested in the history of obstetrics and midwifery, its many facets, and how they have affected pregnant women over time.
September 27, 2023
“Sexism socially constructs female bodies as fundamentally flawed and in need of constant improvement, through engagement with consumer culture.”
This is a really important book with valuable and useful information. My biggest complaint is calling women ‘birthing people’ - I find it incredibly insulting as women are constantly being erased from our own spheres. The author addressed the terminology in the introduction and acknowledged that there are those who consider themselves to be men that birth, and that’s cool, but the VAST MAJORITY of us are WOMEN. I think trans men should have their own books and information and this book isn’t directed towards their specific issues. We were born as women and we exist as women and we will die as women and childbirth is a uniquely female experience. But back to the book.
The chapter on pain really hit home for me.
“Fear is birth is a societal creation, man’s projection, not a fact.”
I had incredible labor and deliveries for my three and hope my fourth is just as empowering. I honestly did not feel pain at more than 4-5/10. I was confused and had tried to research if there was something ‘wrong’ with me or if I had some unnatural pain tolerance. When the author discussed that childbirth is not supposed to be painful but that we are taught that it is and that idea is reinforced through our body and psyche, wow that really hit home. I had to put the book down and really let that thought marinate. I have been birthing the way women were meant to birth and there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with me or my birthing experiences.
The information on the electronic fetal monitors was surprising and yet not surprising. Technology that hasn’t been studied and scrutinized by scientists, experts, and governments before being assimilated into hospitals for near total use - what could go wrong?!
“The most power I’ve ever felt was during birth. I now understand how birth can become an addiction, how some people end up with more kids than toes.” YES YES YES!!! I told my doctor it was the biggest adrenaline rush of my life and how would I ever feel the way I felt after birth again! She said maybeI need to do cross fit 😂
This is a really important book with valuable and useful information. My biggest complaint is calling women ‘birthing people’ - I find it incredibly insulting as women are constantly being erased from our own spheres. The author addressed the terminology in the introduction and acknowledged that there are those who consider themselves to be men that birth, and that’s cool, but the VAST MAJORITY of us are WOMEN. I think trans men should have their own books and information and this book isn’t directed towards their specific issues. We were born as women and we exist as women and we will die as women and childbirth is a uniquely female experience. But back to the book.
The chapter on pain really hit home for me.
“Fear is birth is a societal creation, man’s projection, not a fact.”
I had incredible labor and deliveries for my three and hope my fourth is just as empowering. I honestly did not feel pain at more than 4-5/10. I was confused and had tried to research if there was something ‘wrong’ with me or if I had some unnatural pain tolerance. When the author discussed that childbirth is not supposed to be painful but that we are taught that it is and that idea is reinforced through our body and psyche, wow that really hit home. I had to put the book down and really let that thought marinate. I have been birthing the way women were meant to birth and there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with me or my birthing experiences.
The information on the electronic fetal monitors was surprising and yet not surprising. Technology that hasn’t been studied and scrutinized by scientists, experts, and governments before being assimilated into hospitals for near total use - what could go wrong?!
“The most power I’ve ever felt was during birth. I now understand how birth can become an addiction, how some people end up with more kids than toes.” YES YES YES!!! I told my doctor it was the biggest adrenaline rush of my life and how would I ever feel the way I felt after birth again! She said maybeI need to do cross fit 😂
January 11, 2024
I never want to give birth
October 20, 2023
Preaching to the choir! This book confirmed a lot of things that I've been thinking since my own pregnancy and birth. The parts about how women are coerced into interventions and procedures in the hospital especially made me think about my experience. It provides an explanation for why so many women have trauma surrounding their births. Reading this helped me process my own.
Read
July 25, 2023This book made me angry, but it also didn't address the situations where an emergency c section is truly needed. If you have birth trauma, this might not be for you.
Read
March 22, 2024A collection of facts, stories, and statistics deeply relevant to the modern woman who intends to conceive and birth children in the United States or who has already done so. Drawing from her own experience and research, Allison Yarrow writes a highly readable narrative that opens wide the door on the workings of an obstetric system long-hidden from public view (though deeply affecting all of us in one way or another, since all of us are born, and many of us give birth).
I really appreciated the scope of this book, weaving numbers and anecdote together to provide clear pictures. Yarrow touches on information that shows:
...how the decisions around female care are rooted in male assessment and male experience, with little to no consultation of the women actually having the experience.
...how modern approaches to care in birth funnel women into choices opposite to what they may have desired.
...how a woman can have a "good" birth outcome on paper but still be left feeling devastated or traumatized, even with a healthy baby.
...how medical assault is discreetly and collaboratively concealed from the victims.
...how well-meaning midwives, doctors, nurses, and specialists are often complicit in systemic abuse of pregnant and birthing mothers.
...the difference between giving consent and being consented to, and what that can look like in a practical setting.
...where "invisible" wounding is taking place when a mother experiences interventions that perhaps had become necessary but were not desired or fully understood.
...the reasons why modern obstetric care happens the way that it does.
The notes accompanying each chapter, along with the Further Reading list included in the back of the book, make this title a wonderful foundation read for mothers and mothers-to-be who will be intersecting with the obstetric industry, as well as any care providers involved at any point of the childbearing continuum. And for mothers whose daughters have long grown, this is a good resource to be able to understand more of what challenges those daughters might be facing in the obstetric system if they too choose to birth children of their own.
Amidst my appreciation, I do have one major issue with this book. Allison Yarrow is writing about the historical and contemporary experience of women in a system that is specifically treating and addressing the female body, female sex organs, and female reproductive process. While doing this, she is also actively avoiding female-specific language, in support of anyone who might be giving birth to a child but who might also consider themselves a gender other than woman/she.
While I understand the pressure to maintain inclusive terminology, this is not the topic with which to do it. I agree with another Goodreads reviewer who mentioned that she wished that the intricate experience of trans men had been addressed elsewhere, and not looped into a book specific to women. Only people with biologically female reproductive processes will be subjected to the birth-related practices laid out in this book, and to minimize specifically female terminology is to obscure that reality. In future editions of Birth Control, my earnest hope is for this linguistic obfuscation of the uniquely female experience to be remedied.
I really appreciated the scope of this book, weaving numbers and anecdote together to provide clear pictures. Yarrow touches on information that shows:
...how the decisions around female care are rooted in male assessment and male experience, with little to no consultation of the women actually having the experience.
...how modern approaches to care in birth funnel women into choices opposite to what they may have desired.
...how a woman can have a "good" birth outcome on paper but still be left feeling devastated or traumatized, even with a healthy baby.
...how medical assault is discreetly and collaboratively concealed from the victims.
...how well-meaning midwives, doctors, nurses, and specialists are often complicit in systemic abuse of pregnant and birthing mothers.
...the difference between giving consent and being consented to, and what that can look like in a practical setting.
...where "invisible" wounding is taking place when a mother experiences interventions that perhaps had become necessary but were not desired or fully understood.
...the reasons why modern obstetric care happens the way that it does.
The notes accompanying each chapter, along with the Further Reading list included in the back of the book, make this title a wonderful foundation read for mothers and mothers-to-be who will be intersecting with the obstetric industry, as well as any care providers involved at any point of the childbearing continuum. And for mothers whose daughters have long grown, this is a good resource to be able to understand more of what challenges those daughters might be facing in the obstetric system if they too choose to birth children of their own.
Amidst my appreciation, I do have one major issue with this book. Allison Yarrow is writing about the historical and contemporary experience of women in a system that is specifically treating and addressing the female body, female sex organs, and female reproductive process. While doing this, she is also actively avoiding female-specific language, in support of anyone who might be giving birth to a child but who might also consider themselves a gender other than woman/she.
While I understand the pressure to maintain inclusive terminology, this is not the topic with which to do it. I agree with another Goodreads reviewer who mentioned that she wished that the intricate experience of trans men had been addressed elsewhere, and not looped into a book specific to women. Only people with biologically female reproductive processes will be subjected to the birth-related practices laid out in this book, and to minimize specifically female terminology is to obscure that reality. In future editions of Birth Control, my earnest hope is for this linguistic obfuscation of the uniquely female experience to be remedied.
September 5, 2024
This review will prob be long because I took a lot of notes while reading it and have a lot of thoughts. At first I did accidentally think this book was about birth control and not actual birth/birth systems (solely based on the cover) but from the start I knew I'd like it. I appreciate the overall theme of advocating for, supporting, and centering mothers during birth and Yarrow provides really strong arguments as to why this is necessary and beneficial. Another key point was the idea of birth as pathological and its role in “not only excusing unnecessary interventions in childbirth, it demanding them", and how high-tech isn't necessarily the best/safest option for something like birth (and often is not). I liked the book's structure, containing a mix of her own detailed anecdotes, responses from people that've experienced whatever the chapter was focused on, and different research studies/professional input. At times it did feel that there were some strong assumptions being made that were moreso based on loose correlation in order to prove her point, so I get it but it also discredited it in those parts for me. It's clear Yarrow did her research and it truly feels like she covered all bases (systemic/political/healthcare system; puberty and what we’re taught growing up; due dates and human gestational length; elective induction; NVP/“morning sickness”- inaccurate name; synthetic oxytocin; pelvic compromise theory; episiotomies and tearing; electronic fetal monitoring vs intermittent, hands-on auscultation; woman-/family-centered c-sections; breastfeeding and lactation consultants; coached vs spontaneous pushing; birth trauma and P-PTSD; etc.). Another continual theme was that of the importance (and lack of) informed consent in healthcare and especially during births + pelvic exams, and hearing different experiences definitely makes me think about the kind of healthcare provider I want to be. There was interesting insight into the field of obstetrics and how it was developed (mostly by men), although I felt the author would sometimes generalize that all doctors will invalidate you/give you poor quality of care which felt like fearmongering/overly anti-medicine at times. However, this book definitely brought to light the lack of effective and/or thorough research and testing of obstetric practices that are often used. The parts covering lobbying, financial incentives, liability and timeliness/productivity of hospitals and society were helpful to contextualize a lot of our current standards, procedures, and traditions. Although I have a few qualms about this book, it doesn't take away from the fact that I learned a lot and think that it's a great read and very important. I would definitely recommend and plan on re-reading in the future.
PS: Here's a quote from Adrienne Rich I feel encapsulates the book: “alienated childbirth, botched illegal abortions, needless cesareans, involuntary sterilizations, individual encounters with arrogant and cavalier physicians were never mere anecdotes, but testimony through which the neglect and abuse of women by the healthcare system could be substantiated” (11-12)
PS: Here's a quote from Adrienne Rich I feel encapsulates the book: “alienated childbirth, botched illegal abortions, needless cesareans, involuntary sterilizations, individual encounters with arrogant and cavalier physicians were never mere anecdotes, but testimony through which the neglect and abuse of women by the healthcare system could be substantiated” (11-12)
September 8, 2023
Incredibly informative and fascinating. At times a bit tedious but only in a nod to the author’s thoroughness.
November 14, 2024
Wow. Riveting, fascinating point of view and information. Also horrifying. Wish I had the chance to read this and make more informed decisions before giving birth.
February 26, 2025
Waaay more memoir than I expected or wanted. Fatphobic.
June 25, 2025
Incredibly important read for me.
Read
September 27, 2025had to do a DNF because I’m too squeamish and this freaked me out about child birth so bad
February 17, 2024
I thought many parts of this book were enlightening, especially the overuse of c-sections, the effect of patriarchy on hospital treatment, and under-diagnosis of pelvic floor injury after birth. The use of anecdotes and surveys were very eye-opening. The story of "Dr. B" was the most HORRIFYING birth experiences I have ever came across, and I feel TERRIBLE for the birthing people who underwent similar assault from providers.
However, I don't necessarily agree with all of Yarrow's arguments. For example, Yarrow mentions that all fetal ultrasounds/check ups are useless. Don't get me wrong, overuse of ultrasounds is a problem in many hospitals. But some fetal conditions can be detected with these diagnostic techniques, and can be beneficial for some cases.
Overall, I thought the beginning of the book made a lot of big claims that wasn't following. But after the first couple of chapters, the book becomes much more engaging.
However, I don't necessarily agree with all of Yarrow's arguments. For example, Yarrow mentions that all fetal ultrasounds/check ups are useless. Don't get me wrong, overuse of ultrasounds is a problem in many hospitals. But some fetal conditions can be detected with these diagnostic techniques, and can be beneficial for some cases.
Overall, I thought the beginning of the book made a lot of big claims that wasn't following. But after the first couple of chapters, the book becomes much more engaging.
December 23, 2024
I left this book really unsatisfied. I think the "what" is really well articulated (ex. the research on spontaneous vs coached pushing seems pretty definitive) but the "why" is not. Every point seems to end in "men want to control birthing bodies" by any means necessary, which kind of makes it feel like a conspiracy theory rather than a convincing thesis by the end of the book. I think you just have to go into this knowing the author is presenting only one side of the argument and that there is another perspective not discussed at all here.
Side note: I started reading this book while at the hospital for an induction and finished it two weeks postpartum, which was an absolutely wild choice I made
Side note: I started reading this book while at the hospital for an induction and finished it two weeks postpartum, which was an absolutely wild choice I made
August 4, 2023
This book was magic! Giving birth at home was the most amazing thing ive ever done. Even having had a magical birth myself, it brought me to tears reading about the hardships birthers face doing the most human thing ever.
Heart wrenching and incredible
Heart wrenching and incredible
March 17, 2024
"Urinary incontinence is a leading cause of nursing home admissions for women. This means that whether or not you can live your final days independently may come down to what's unresolved from giving birth, in a part of your body you don't really understand or might not even know is there. The healthcare system isn't just failing postpartum women. It's failing women of all ages for their entire lives."
Clear and compelling criticism of the medicalization of childbirth. I'm frankly shocked at some of the things I learned here. The distance between what is good for women and children in childbirth practice and what actually, currently happens in hospitals is so large that my gut reaction to the claims was to dismiss them as likely overstated. Instead, I'd find that a cursory skim of wikipedia would validate the claims. Episiotomies, while thankfully less common than they were, are still routine in some US hospitals (and are widely practiced across the world), despite having little-to-no good evidence that they actually have better outcomes, and significant evidence to the contrary. The traditional supine birthing position so common in hospitals has long been known to be one of the worst for laboring, causing more difficult and prolonged births and increased tearing. Directed, valsalva pushing (held breath, pushing when an attending physician says to) has worse outcomes than pushing at a rate that comes naturally to the pregnant person. Even the birthing pace typically enforced by physicians is shorter than is necessary, which is associated with an increase in tearing and more difficult laboring. Women in labor are some of our most vulnerable people, and it is in that moment of vulnerability, when agency is difficult to exercise, that their needs and concerns are ignored in favor of what is most convenient for the attending physician. It's outrageous, and I can't believe it isn't talked about more.
Sadly, Yarrow's justified suspicion of the medicalization of childbirth results in a vulnerability to quackery. At one point, she cites an osteopath "diagnosing" her muscular weakness and discord as due to a stomach illness. It's sad to see someone righteously decrying the ways in which pregnant people are exploited by institutional medicine (at great financial profit) instead host a different kind of parasite. But I can understand the appeal. When so ignored and unvalued at such a vulnerable time, being listened to and valued can be healing. Would that she had found this in therapy or through friends instead.
Overall, righteous and on point. Not perfect, but a lot of this book is both true and important.
Clear and compelling criticism of the medicalization of childbirth. I'm frankly shocked at some of the things I learned here. The distance between what is good for women and children in childbirth practice and what actually, currently happens in hospitals is so large that my gut reaction to the claims was to dismiss them as likely overstated. Instead, I'd find that a cursory skim of wikipedia would validate the claims. Episiotomies, while thankfully less common than they were, are still routine in some US hospitals (and are widely practiced across the world), despite having little-to-no good evidence that they actually have better outcomes, and significant evidence to the contrary. The traditional supine birthing position so common in hospitals has long been known to be one of the worst for laboring, causing more difficult and prolonged births and increased tearing. Directed, valsalva pushing (held breath, pushing when an attending physician says to) has worse outcomes than pushing at a rate that comes naturally to the pregnant person. Even the birthing pace typically enforced by physicians is shorter than is necessary, which is associated with an increase in tearing and more difficult laboring. Women in labor are some of our most vulnerable people, and it is in that moment of vulnerability, when agency is difficult to exercise, that their needs and concerns are ignored in favor of what is most convenient for the attending physician. It's outrageous, and I can't believe it isn't talked about more.
Sadly, Yarrow's justified suspicion of the medicalization of childbirth results in a vulnerability to quackery. At one point, she cites an osteopath "diagnosing" her muscular weakness and discord as due to a stomach illness. It's sad to see someone righteously decrying the ways in which pregnant people are exploited by institutional medicine (at great financial profit) instead host a different kind of parasite. But I can understand the appeal. When so ignored and unvalued at such a vulnerable time, being listened to and valued can be healing. Would that she had found this in therapy or through friends instead.
Overall, righteous and on point. Not perfect, but a lot of this book is both true and important.
Want to read
March 23, 2024On page 4, the author points to US maternal mortality statistics and states that X number of people “died from childbirth.” This is a blatant misrepresentation of data. These numbers originally come from a CDC report which states: “ This report presents maternal mortality rates for 2021 based on data from the National Vital Statistics System. A maternal death is defined by the World Health Organization as “the death of a woman while pregnant or within 42 days of termination of pregnancy, irrespective of the duration and the site of the pregnancy, from any cause related to or aggravated by the pregnancy or its management, but not from accidental or incidental causes”. These deaths did not all occur “from childbirth” or during childbirth. In some cases there was no birth at all. There are all sorts of things that can be triggered or exacerbated by pregnancy that may be included in these stats that have nothing to do with the birth itself. Yes, our maternal mortality rates are horrible no matter how we define them. Yes, the CDC data has huge limitations and can be confusing because there are a few different ways of capturing and defining maternal mortality. I could go on, but it is clear that the author is using data in a way that is convenient for her argument, not to properly educate her readers on the very real issue our country has with maternal mortality and morbidity. I had a successful homebirth with a midwife, I support midwives and a woman’s right to try for the pregnancy and birth she desires, I agree that the state of women’s healthcare in our country is deeply problematic…but the way to advocate for improved outcomes and experiences is not to misrepresent data to make your case. Read the primary source data report, not just the NYT article about the report. I didn’t read any further because I couldn’t trust the author 🤷🏼♀️.
June 6, 2025
This wasn’t my favorite read.
I fully agree with the book’s central premise: medicine has historically been dominated by men, and as a result, the care provided to non-male patients often falls short. I have no disagreement with the author on that point. My issue lies more with the book’s structure and presentation.
Although it’s clear the author conducted extensive research—the sources are listed in the back—the lack of proper in-text citations made it difficult to verify claims or explore topics further. As someone who likes to fact-check and dig deeper, I found this frustrating.
The book also felt somewhat surface-level. Rather than a comprehensive, research-driven exploration, it often read more like an extended opinion piece. I would have appreciated a deeper dive into the data and more nuanced analysis. Though I appreciated the small anecdotes she was able to provide.
For context, I haven’t given birth myself, as I’m not biologically able to. My wife has, and we were fortunate to have had a positive and supportive experience—something I know is not the norm for many.
Ultimately, this just wasn’t the book for me.
I fully agree with the book’s central premise: medicine has historically been dominated by men, and as a result, the care provided to non-male patients often falls short. I have no disagreement with the author on that point. My issue lies more with the book’s structure and presentation.
Although it’s clear the author conducted extensive research—the sources are listed in the back—the lack of proper in-text citations made it difficult to verify claims or explore topics further. As someone who likes to fact-check and dig deeper, I found this frustrating.
The book also felt somewhat surface-level. Rather than a comprehensive, research-driven exploration, it often read more like an extended opinion piece. I would have appreciated a deeper dive into the data and more nuanced analysis. Though I appreciated the small anecdotes she was able to provide.
For context, I haven’t given birth myself, as I’m not biologically able to. My wife has, and we were fortunate to have had a positive and supportive experience—something I know is not the norm for many.
Ultimately, this just wasn’t the book for me.
August 22, 2023
The book I’ve been hoping for since reading the similar book Pushed by Jennifer Block (2007). This is a much easier read and updated. I loved how the author wove her own pregnancy and birth experiences throughout. It is sad that change in the medical birth world is so slow and resistant to trusting the women who are birthing but here we are. The last chapter “Home birth” on how being in a hospital dampens or shuts down the natural fetal eject reflex was fascinating. Medical providers are completely lost when it comes to allowing births to progress naturally on their own, they have to control some part of it, even when the birthing woman and baby are in no danger. Controlling the pushing phase is a great example of this.
Many thanks to Allison Yarrow for her work, this book is so needed and I hope it helps continue change in the birth world, especially as more of us retreat to our own homes to experience birth in a supportive, calm, and non threatening environment. It doesn’t have to look like the movies (thank goodness).
Many thanks to Allison Yarrow for her work, this book is so needed and I hope it helps continue change in the birth world, especially as more of us retreat to our own homes to experience birth in a supportive, calm, and non threatening environment. It doesn’t have to look like the movies (thank goodness).
December 2, 2023
This book had a profound impact on me. I cried. I was angry. I wish I would have read it before my first pregnancy. It was well researched and well written, exploring many topics that I had heard about off-hand but didn’t know the facts behind. Thank you, Allison Yarrow, for writing it and sharing your own stories with us.
Birth is one of the most important moments in a woman’s life. It’s time for our healthcare system to see, hear, and develop a relationship with the WOMAN who is pregnant and birthing. Touch should be gentle and with patient consent.
I’m buying a copy for all my friends.
My only wish was that the author would have explored the fact that female obstetricians far outnumber male obstetricians these days. I have personally never seen a male obstetrician, yet, all of the major themes of the book resonated with me.
Birth is one of the most important moments in a woman’s life. It’s time for our healthcare system to see, hear, and develop a relationship with the WOMAN who is pregnant and birthing. Touch should be gentle and with patient consent.
I’m buying a copy for all my friends.
My only wish was that the author would have explored the fact that female obstetricians far outnumber male obstetricians these days. I have personally never seen a male obstetrician, yet, all of the major themes of the book resonated with me.
November 10, 2023
There are certain books that capture my emotions for a long while, and this book has done just that. Yarrow describes the American childbirth experience, exploring the injuries, trauma, and deaths due to traditional practices of medical professionals and hospitals. To read about women’s experiences in birthing children has been both interesting and challenging.
This is such an important topic to address and Yarrow, an award winning journalist does well to capture the horrors of certain traditional practices in child birth. This book includes reporting, surveying, and interviewing 1,300 mothers who shared their own stories. I definitely recommend, but please be mindful of any triggers.
This is such an important topic to address and Yarrow, an award winning journalist does well to capture the horrors of certain traditional practices in child birth. This book includes reporting, surveying, and interviewing 1,300 mothers who shared their own stories. I definitely recommend, but please be mindful of any triggers.
January 1, 2024
While she is a strong writer, her views are misinformed from an evolutionary biology standpoint as 1) women pelvis size has been shrinking and 2) head circumference of babies have been increasing overtime. These two changes as a result of modern evolutionary pressure are also leading to more c-sections as humans have a balancing selection between bipedalism and giving birth.
Yarrow ignores this fundamental fact in her book.
She then spews a bunch of conspiracy and misinformation that may lead to mother's jeopardizing their lives.
Yarrow ignores this fundamental fact in her book.
She then spews a bunch of conspiracy and misinformation that may lead to mother's jeopardizing their lives.
November 5, 2024
A very insightful read. I wish the title was different because the term Birth Control made me think that this book would be about something the pill versus the control over the action of birth. This book covered every single fear I have about pregnancy and birth and JUSTIFIED all of those fears. So that part is concerning, but very important to be aware of this knowledge.
September 13, 2023
5/5
A fascinating, frustrating, and empowering look into how men have affected the process of the birth in America (spoiler: for the worse) and how women have the power, inherent ability, and instinct to give birth on their own terms. I will recommend to every friend who is expecting!
A fascinating, frustrating, and empowering look into how men have affected the process of the birth in America (spoiler: for the worse) and how women have the power, inherent ability, and instinct to give birth on their own terms. I will recommend to every friend who is expecting!
September 21, 2023
Informative and infuriating, and so worth the read. It made me think about my own pregnancy and labor and early postpartum days so differently.
Very occasionally veers into preachy/ superiority territory on breastfeeding but overall you don’t leave feeling judged for whatever choices you made.
Very occasionally veers into preachy/ superiority territory on breastfeeding but overall you don’t leave feeling judged for whatever choices you made.
September 6, 2025
very informative, detailed and encouraging
Provides real world accounts of birth to empower birthers to make their own decisions when the time comes to bring a little person into the world AND advocate for themselves
Provides real world accounts of birth to empower birthers to make their own decisions when the time comes to bring a little person into the world AND advocate for themselves
August 19, 2023
A deep dive into how the medicalization of childbirth has affected women's experiences and stripped them of agency.
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