Advice on Dying: And Living a Better Life

by Dalai Lama XIV, Jeffrey Hopkins

"Everyone dies, but no one is dead," goes the Tibetan saying. It is with these words that Advice on Dying takes flight. Using a seventeenth-century poem written by a prominent scholar-practitioner, His Holiness the Dalai Lama draws from a wide range of traditions and beliefs to explore the stages we all go through when we die, which are the very same stages we experience in life when we go to sleep, faint, or reach orgasm (Shakespeare's "little death"). The stages are described so vividly that we can imagine the process of traveling deeper into the mind, on the ultimate journey of transformation. In this way, His Holiness shows us how to prepare for that time and, in doing so, how to enrich our time on earth, die without fear or upset, and influence the stage between this life and the next so that we may gain the best possible incarnation. As always, the ultimate goal is to advance along the path to enlightenment. Advice on Dying is an essential tool for attaining that eternal bliss.

Genres: Buddhism, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Philosophy, Death, Self Help, Religion

240 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso (born Lhamo Döndrub), the 14th Dalai Lama, is a practicing member of the Gelug School of Tibetan Buddhism and is influential as a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, the world's most famous Buddhist monk, and the leader of the exiled Tibetan government in India.

Tenzin Gyatso was the fifth of sixteen children born to a farming family. He was proclaimed the tulku (an Enlightened lama who has consciously decided to take rebirth) of the 13th Dalai Lama at the age of two.

On 17 November 1950, at the age of 15, he was enthroned as Tibet's ruler. Thus he became Tibet's most important political ruler just one month after the People's Republic of China's invasion of Tibet on 7 October 1950. In 1954, he went to Beijing to attempt peace talks with Mao Zedong and other leaders of the PRC. These talks ultimately failed.

After a failed uprising and the collapse of the Tibetan resistance movement in 1959, the Dalai Lama left for India, where he was active in establishing the Central Tibetan Administration (the Tibetan Government in Exile) and in seeking to preserve Tibetan culture and education among the thousands of refugees who accompanied him.

Tenzin Gyatso is a charismatic figure and noted public speaker. This Dalai Lama is the first to travel to the West. There, he has helped to spread Buddhism and to promote the concepts of universal responsibility, secular ethics, and religious harmony.

He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, honorary Canadian citizenship in 2006, and the United States Congressional Gold Medal on 17 October 2007.

Reviews

[Libby · Rating 4 out of 5]

It will be interesting when I come to die to see if dying happens in the stages outlined here. I tend to believe that there is no one way of doing anything, life and death are full of myriads of possibilities and are not limited to one way and one way only. I wonder if you study Tibetan Buddhism and expect to die in a certain way then you will simply because you believe you will (and the same goes for every religion) or do they know something everyone else doesn't? I guess theres only one way to find out and we all will in time.

The technical aspects of dying made interesting reading but I found truth in the living part. An awareness of ones own death makes living life a conscious thing filled with awareness and the desire to seize the moment. Being mindfull of ones death makes us see the transience of everything, there is no use fearing death or suffering or anything as it is all inevitable and all transient.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I selected this book after losing both my father and my mother-in-law just a day apart this past summer. I had hoped that the experience would be similar to someone seeking the truth from a hermit living high up in the mountains. What is the purpose of life? And why do people have to die? Who better to seek these answers from than the Dalai Lama? Did this book answer all my questions? Yes... and no. Death is described as an inescapable event. One that we all must prepare for. Part of our day to day living must be the practice necessary so that we can meet death with our mind and soul ready for the next step. The book has an immense amount of 'technical' detail about what meditation practices to prepare oneself and for death ... and rebirth. Much of this was way, way over my head. But, the message that death is inevitable and not something that only happens next year, next month, or some time in the distant future was clear. The book has a strong message that we need to always be ready for our own death. But the question that was left unanswered for me is not how do we prepare for our own deaths, but the deaths of people we love.

[Gopesh Bajre · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would hate to demean this religious doctrine, but I simply cannot stand most of it. Its overly simplistic and full of illogical philosophy that is rooted in the belief of rebirth. It does have good intentions I guess but it comes across to me as self centered apathy disguised as spiritual guidance. It works for some, if you work it, which just seems to me as a demonstration of the power of suggestibility. It can combat nihilistic tendencies in the masses through the idea of karma, thus taming them. Can be called the guide to become comfortably numb. After all that, some takeaways- Dwelling on death can make you appreciate your life more, although that's just a complicated way of saying 'live everyday like it's your last'. Compassion can make you happier in the long run. Be altruistic and grateful. So banal though.

[Andy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of this is good straightforward life philosophy, other requires a little more familiarity with the concepts and language of Buddhism than I have. In the middle there are excellent sections on the taming of the mind, the Buddhist concept of emptiness and the physical stages of dying. I'm not religious, but it's kind of irrelevant. Buddhism is sensible and pragmatic, yet also pure and spiritual. Everyone can gain from it's precepts. The DL is one of my very favourite humans.

[Justin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accepting death and meditating on impermanence are among the cornerstones of Buddhist teachings. The Tibetan Buddhist tradition especially has for centuries almost made a science of contemplating, observing, and describing the subtleties involved in the process of dying and the afterlife. Of equal importance to living well for Tibetan Buddhists is dying well. Although this is a brief text, it is helpful to have some prior knowledge or experience of Buddhism or meditative disciplines due to the very technical nature of the teachings and states of consciousness described.

One does not need to be a Buddhist to benefit from learning about the process of dying here but the material covering the afterlife requires a greater measure of faith to accept. The heart of the teachings are actually quite concrete and practical. The 8 stages of dying are mirrored in daily activities such as falling asleep, sneezing, and orgasm. In fact some of the 8 stages may be not unfamiliar to you prior to reading this book. Realizing this, cultivating higher awareness during these activities can be of great value to a practitioner in understanding death and consciousness.

The latter part of this book explains the movement of energy within the body during death, described as a system of winds (energy) and drops (energy centers). This is extremely technical information that may be difficult to grasp without experience in some form of energy work such as deep meditation, tantric, kundalini yoga, chi kung, or reiki. Some rather fantastic feats are described such as monks flying through the air, but the Dalai Lama does not quote them as truth and even discusses an example involving in-vitro birth of how the truths of sacred texts are not always infallible. For those wishing to deepen their meditative, spiritual practice, and understanding of death this is a powerful and invaluable book from a living master.

[John Lawrence · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is helpful for someone who is dying or who has a loved one who is dying. it contains some good, practical advice on how to hold your mind steady and keep it thoughtful and helpful.

the practical advice covers things like developing an awareness of death, liberating oneself from the fear of death, and meditating while dying.

after that, there is a fair bit of deeper Buddhist meditation training that one doesn't receive unless they have been in committed studies for a while. it covers the mental states that one passes through as death approaches and one passes through it into the bardo. it also covers practices for developing favorable conditions for rebirth. the average bear may not find this part helpful. if so, i would highly recommend The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. it is longer and contains many helpful, constructive instructions on facing either your own death or that of your loved one.

[Edwina Book Anaconda · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Just as when weaving
One reaches the end
With fine threads woven throughout,
So is the life of humans."
- Buddha -

To me, the foreword was the most interesting part of this book - the rest was, more or less, was over my head.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has helped me tremendously. It tells us how to lessen our fear of dying and how to better cope with bereavement.

It tells you from a Buddhist point of veiw on what happens when we die.

[Maria Hurt · Rating 5 out of 5]

quite possibly the most helpful book on living in the moment...

[Greg · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is interesting. In it, the Dalai Lama uses a poem written by the First Panchen Lama in the 17th century, and uses it as the scaffolding to encourage the reader to be mindful of death, and to prepare for it. In general, the book works. It is interesting because, like many Buddhist writings, it is at once strikingly simple and universal, while at the same time including elements that are very foreign to my way of thinking. It is of interest, and challenging for the serious reader and thinker.

Interesting passages:
"Reflecting on the statement from Buddha:
Buddhas do not wash away ill deeds with water,
Nor remove transmigrators’ sufferings with their hands,
Nor transfer their realizations to others.
Beings are freed through the teachings of the truth, the nature of things."

The Dalai Lama writes, “You are your own protector; comfort and discomfort are in your own hands.” (61)
By encouraging people to view life and death as natural, to meditate on it and prepare for it, is to seek the truth. What is within the control of the individual is the preparation and reaction to the truth.

[Ben · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started reading this book alongside the Tibetan Book of the Dead in order to decipher the Dalai Lama’s modern outlook on its mysterious and esoteric content. For this, I found the insights of the Dalai Lama and how he relates the practice of dying to modern times incredible and honest. On the other hand, a little less than half of the book seems to be dedicated to awareness of the wrong doings of the Chinese to the Tibetan people (I understand that this book was written during the Dalai Lama’s house arrest). His position is understandable, especially now. But half the time I felt like I was angry with China for it’s wrong doings, and the other half I felt like I was enlightened to the methods of dying well. I would have preferred it stuck to its original topic but I’m glad to know more about it.

A good read and great advice for those who are dying or for people who are looking for ways to be with a loved one who is dying.

[Shane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though I bought this book soon after my father’s death, many years ago now, I don’t remember why it appealed, and I never finished reading it. The culture-specific prescriptions didn’t have much to do with what I’d been through. The foreword written by a professor of Tibetan studies is fascinating and the Dalai Lama shares plenty of general wisdom, but his belief system is so foreign to the culture of my birth (or rebirth) that to try to apply it in preparation for death doesn’t make sense. To be honest, I lost interest in the Dalai Lama’s teachings – e.g., ‘compassion for all beings’ – when I learned he wasn’t vegan.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

It seemed that as much of the book dealt with the politics of the relations between the Tibetan Buddhist Monks, and the Chinese Government as it did the stated topic of Advice on Dying (still I found this interesting).

The advice on dying was more related to preparing for your own eventual individual death, rather than with dealing with the deaths of loved ones around you. Also the advice seemed particularly geared to individuals who already practice and have an understanding of Tibetan Buddhism rather than outsiders like me.

Still much of the little bit of the book that touched on the subtitle of living a better life, had elements that rang true to me.

[Jessica Yu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Might be more appropriately titled as “Instructions for Dying” rather than “advice” for the western audience that might not have a strong understanding of Buddhism or a deep meditation practice; would explain the low ratings. It really is more informational and instructional from the Buddhist perspective of death.

There are great nuggets in here that are truly great advice to hear at least once in your life, but I wouldn’t gift this book to just any one. If you’re looking to remedy grief or make amends with your anger with God (or whatever universal force), this is not the book for you. If you have a good understanding of the different schools of Buddhism, this book could fortify your curiosity of how Buddhists think of death & reincarnation tied to your spiritual practice.

[Emjay · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

Fascinating and compelling, I really enjoyed the audio edition of Advice on Dying: And Living a Better Life and would revisit it (especially the early chapters) in the future.

The second half of the book went a little into the weeds in Buddhist doctrine, and as a non-practitioner, I was definitely not the intended audience. Which is fine—not every book needs to be for me. But the first chapters are easily understood and relevant to anyone, even someone new to the ideology.

[Julie Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most material was over my head, but like the ineffable chants at my local Zen center, strangely soothing. I listened to this while my beloved dog was dying, and it reminded me that death is a great mystery. Some of the stages of dying mentioned here seemed reminiscent of stories I have heard of people's experiences when taking intentional psychedelic trips.

[Sangey]

In the book 'Advice on Dying' His holiness Dalai Lama explained how remembering death in daily basis life helps to de a good human being during life time and how it helps to face perilous situations during end of the life ( during actual death).
He gave techniques how to be a one who can ensure the incarnation after the previous life.

[Bookreaderljh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started 2025 with the Dalai Lama and now I have ended the year with another of his books. This expounds on the meditation poem for dying with each stanza being discussed, explained and a summary and a meditation specific to each step of the dying process. But more so it is also the steps to be taken for living since though death is definite but the time of death (and the remaining opportunities of living) are indefinite. Living for each moment and leaving the fears and worries of death bhind is the main focus. I did like the steps of portents of death and meditiations involved to accept each. Moving towards a good life and a positive karma are the salient points of concentration and death is the outcome for all but it doesn't necessarily need to influence the good of living in the moment.

[劉 邦均 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found it hard to accept all the ideas Dalai Lama had presented. However, I did learn something from this book, and that's what matters.
For me, the biggest takeaway from this book was that we should cherish our lives when we are living, and that we shouldn't linger when we are dying.

[Catherine Pawasarat · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very readable text, based on a poem by the first Panchen Lama. Very clear and practical guidance on how to navigate the death and dharmata bardos. With some interesting history on the Panchen Lamas and Dalai Lamas.

[Candance Doerr-Stevens · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t fully understand several parts of this book given its focus on reincarnation but very much appreciated its focus on “impermanence” and the “taming of the mind” as a way to more deeply live life and befriend the “certainty of death”

Used: MPL audio

[Joel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really good gems on a really important topic. Kinda weird in a lot of places too.

[Lobsang Gyaltsen Negi · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best book that make me thought about of death Peaceful...

[Yc Liao · Rating 4 out of 5]

對他人而言，當我們有一個降伏的心，則可以為身邊的任何人帶來舒適的環境與放鬆感，降伏的心帶來快樂，沒有被降伏的心，帶來痛苦。
能夠擁有此短暫人生的肉體，是非常珍貴的，因此我們必須好好的利用我們的時間與擁有的能力，利益他人。
死亡並非是一個瞬間的事情，而是許多階段的過程，透過修行；意識内最細微的心識則可以在臨終時往更好的方向沒有恐懼的前去。

[Phuoc Truong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cuốn sách rất hay và chi tiết về quá trình diễn ra chết và cả tái sinh nữa.

[Lodoe Gyatso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Long Live H H HOLINESS THE 14th DALAI LAMA🙏

[Jigar Mehta]

I might need to read this book few more times to internalize the ideas/thoughts presented, but I am pleasantly surprised to see many similarities between teachings of Buddhism and Jainism.

[Suzanne Pender · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though this book is deeply embedded in Tibetan Buddhist tradition, its message is one of preparation and hope for all of us, as we contemplate the end of our earthly life.

[Alex Vesco · Rating 2 out of 5]

Banal

[Richa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for any spiritual seeker.