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Soul Talk
In this extraordinary book, Dr. Larry Crabb introduces a revolutionary way for Christians to experience God. "Soul talk" happens when two Christians talk to each other in a way that results in their passion for God being stirred, ignited, and released.
266 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
70 people are currently reading
478 people want to read
About the author
Larry Crabb
112 books238 followersLawrence J. Crabb Jr.
Larry Crabb is a well-known Christian psychologist, conference and seminar speaker, Bible teacher, and author of more than 25 books—including his most recent, When God’s Ways Make No Sense and two Gold Medallion award-winners Inside Out and Understanding People. He is also the founder/director of NewWay Ministries & most recently his "legacy ministry", LargerStory.com. In addition to various other speaking and teaching opportunities, Crabb offers a week-long School of Spiritual Direction held each year here at The Cove and the Glen Eyrie in CO. He currently is scholar-in-residence at Colorado Christian University. Larry and his wife of 50 years, Rachael, reside near Charlotte, N.C.
Larry Crabb is a well-known Christian psychologist, conference and seminar speaker, Bible teacher, and author of more than 25 books—including his most recent, When God’s Ways Make No Sense and two Gold Medallion award-winners Inside Out and Understanding People. He is also the founder/director of NewWay Ministries & most recently his "legacy ministry", LargerStory.com. In addition to various other speaking and teaching opportunities, Crabb offers a week-long School of Spiritual Direction held each year here at The Cove and the Glen Eyrie in CO. He currently is scholar-in-residence at Colorado Christian University. Larry and his wife of 50 years, Rachael, reside near Charlotte, N.C.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
October 16, 2015
As I prepare for the School of Spiritual Direction, I have been working my way through several of Larry Crabb's books. Soul Talk (2003), the final required book prior to attending, was a good read. Another prerequisite for the school was to complete 4 online courses in spiritual direction. Soul Talk appears to be the clearest exposition of the model Crabb developed in the 4 courses.
A common theme that wends its way through Crabb's books is that too often, we replace first things with second things in our affections. Indeed, much of modern Christianity is built upon the pursuit of material blessings rather than the pursuit of God. Specific to this book, Crabb contrasted "self-talk" with "Soul talk." Although we speak to one another, our speech is too often filled with solutions or religious platitudes rather than words that come from the center of our soul. Crabb wrote, "We almost never speak words that are formed in the center of our soul and pour out from our very being with power and a sense of life. And we almost never hear words that stir life within us, that pour hope into those empty spaces deep inside filled only with fear and fury and frustration." Crabb has high hopes that we might begin to engage in conversations where the Spirit can dance.
He recommends a number of "steps", though perhaps steps is the wrong word. He is clear that he is not recommending something akin to "6 steps to a happy marriage." However, he does suggest a process for engaging with others. When people share with us something going on in their lives, we need to "think beneath" resisting the temptation to speak too quickly or provide band-aid answers. We then must "think vision"--not in terms of the immediate situation, but in terms of what could happen if the person focused on God first. I particularly appreciated his notion of "thinking passion" because we are encouraged to think about what is going on in our own hearts. Next we "think story", where we listen to hear the hidden story shaping the events of their lives. Finally, we "think movement" toward brokenness, repentance, trust, and release of the true self.
On the whole, this was a good book. I have appreciated Crabb's understanding of walking in brokenness with others. I did not get as much out of this book as I did out of Inside Out or The Pressure's Off, but this is a foundational book in his thinking. I would recommend it.
[2015 edit] I re-read this book in October 2015 and I was much more deeply taken with this book than I was initially. I am not sure if this response was due to an increased familiarity with the concept of SoulTalk or something else. Regardless, this book remains foundational, but it is not just good, it is excellent.
A common theme that wends its way through Crabb's books is that too often, we replace first things with second things in our affections. Indeed, much of modern Christianity is built upon the pursuit of material blessings rather than the pursuit of God. Specific to this book, Crabb contrasted "self-talk" with "Soul talk." Although we speak to one another, our speech is too often filled with solutions or religious platitudes rather than words that come from the center of our soul. Crabb wrote, "We almost never speak words that are formed in the center of our soul and pour out from our very being with power and a sense of life. And we almost never hear words that stir life within us, that pour hope into those empty spaces deep inside filled only with fear and fury and frustration." Crabb has high hopes that we might begin to engage in conversations where the Spirit can dance.
He recommends a number of "steps", though perhaps steps is the wrong word. He is clear that he is not recommending something akin to "6 steps to a happy marriage." However, he does suggest a process for engaging with others. When people share with us something going on in their lives, we need to "think beneath" resisting the temptation to speak too quickly or provide band-aid answers. We then must "think vision"--not in terms of the immediate situation, but in terms of what could happen if the person focused on God first. I particularly appreciated his notion of "thinking passion" because we are encouraged to think about what is going on in our own hearts. Next we "think story", where we listen to hear the hidden story shaping the events of their lives. Finally, we "think movement" toward brokenness, repentance, trust, and release of the true self.
On the whole, this was a good book. I have appreciated Crabb's understanding of walking in brokenness with others. I did not get as much out of this book as I did out of Inside Out or The Pressure's Off, but this is a foundational book in his thinking. I would recommend it.
[2015 edit] I re-read this book in October 2015 and I was much more deeply taken with this book than I was initially. I am not sure if this response was due to an increased familiarity with the concept of SoulTalk or something else. Regardless, this book remains foundational, but it is not just good, it is excellent.
October 11, 2023
I loved this book. 10/10 would recommend. I have a tendency to want to rush through books, but I’m glad I took my time with this one. Each chapter gave me something fresh to reflect on and I could actually feel myself depending more on the Spirit in my conversations with people in different ways than I have before. I will be pondering the ideas in this books for a long time.
September 26, 2020
If you ever feel unprepared to counsel a friend, ill-equipped to walk alongside someone through a hardship (or to endure your own hardship), or uncertain of the role and work of the Holy Spirit, perhaps is time to open “SoulTalk“.
SoulTalk is about recognizing the truer, deeper battles that lie beneath the surfaces of our circumstances, and how to use conversation as a way to ignite a greater love and desire for God above all else.
Crabb has a particular writing style; even if it’s not your taste, I would still encourage you to pick it up and hear the content!
SoulTalk is about recognizing the truer, deeper battles that lie beneath the surfaces of our circumstances, and how to use conversation as a way to ignite a greater love and desire for God above all else.
Crabb has a particular writing style; even if it’s not your taste, I would still encourage you to pick it up and hear the content!
March 11, 2021
At first, Crabb's writing style grated on me. However, by the end of the book, I realized that the style itself lends to a slower and more reflective reading of the text. As one reviewer said, this could have been written as a pamphlet. Yes, probably the 5 main points could have been printed and distributed in a quick-read pamphlet; however, the learning would have been significantly lessened. And given that I want to internalize these principles, the repetition was helpful.
Although the use of the word "SoulTalk" still seems somewhat artificial to me even as I've finished the book, it is useful short-hand for the concepts that Crabb wants to highlight in this book. I appreciated his honesty and humility as he shared that he doesn't always 'get it right' as he tries to speak 'SoulTalk.' It was a reminder that the spiritual journey is just that, a journey and relationship--not a series of 'to-do lists' and tasks that we check off when we get it right. And as we are all on this journey, our conversations with one another can be another way to allow the Spirit to use us.
And something that I will take away and ponder for awhile is Crabb's multiplicity of references to all members of the Trinity. As he mentions God throughout the book, he often specifically references each member of the Trinity, highlighting a characteristic or function of each of the persons. These sentences and references in themselves are a treasure for meditating on.
Although the use of the word "SoulTalk" still seems somewhat artificial to me even as I've finished the book, it is useful short-hand for the concepts that Crabb wants to highlight in this book. I appreciated his honesty and humility as he shared that he doesn't always 'get it right' as he tries to speak 'SoulTalk.' It was a reminder that the spiritual journey is just that, a journey and relationship--not a series of 'to-do lists' and tasks that we check off when we get it right. And as we are all on this journey, our conversations with one another can be another way to allow the Spirit to use us.
And something that I will take away and ponder for awhile is Crabb's multiplicity of references to all members of the Trinity. As he mentions God throughout the book, he often specifically references each member of the Trinity, highlighting a characteristic or function of each of the persons. These sentences and references in themselves are a treasure for meditating on.
March 23, 2010
This book really challenged my thinking. It's moving from self-obsession ("worshiping a false god of convenience and cooperation") to God-obsession ("a miracle of divine grace"). What would my life look like if God was really in first place? If I truly delighted in HIM, vs. just desiring his blessings to make my life go better? No platitudes in this tome - - - just some radical thinking. Radical, because it is so uncommon and at odds with my human desire to solve my problems (and help everyone else with theirs!) His book is simple and deep. There's a lot I'm pondering right now. I want to read it again! Join me?
June 30, 2018
I really enjoyed this book. The discussions and reflections suggested about how to really talk to people in a way that helps them to develop a passionate and more intimate relationship first with God before anyone else is inspirational. This is a book I would highly recommend everyone read it is a wealth of knowledge.
June 12, 2010
Well written book about our relationships with God, and how if you talk with your soul, it can lead to amazing opportunities for you and God.
June 25, 2023
It took me months to read this book (no fault of the book) so I kept kind of losing the plot. 😅
The idea of the book is that when someone opens up to us about a struggle or a problem, we are quick to try to fix it, give them advice on how they should fix it, encourage them in victim mentality, or suggest they get professional help (because we don't want to take time or effort with them). Instead, we need to learn to listen to what the Spirit is saying to our soul and to their soul. How is he trying to move in their soul? How is he working in them to deepen their relationship with God. What is God teaching them at the moment? How do we encourage them to let God do his supernatural work? What is the Spirit's goal for that person?
My main reaction to the book is, yes, I want to do this, but it sure is harder than it sounds!
The idea of the book is that when someone opens up to us about a struggle or a problem, we are quick to try to fix it, give them advice on how they should fix it, encourage them in victim mentality, or suggest they get professional help (because we don't want to take time or effort with them). Instead, we need to learn to listen to what the Spirit is saying to our soul and to their soul. How is he trying to move in their soul? How is he working in them to deepen their relationship with God. What is God teaching them at the moment? How do we encourage them to let God do his supernatural work? What is the Spirit's goal for that person?
My main reaction to the book is, yes, I want to do this, but it sure is harder than it sounds!
August 5, 2018
Wonderful! I recommend to anyone wanting to learn how to look deep into situations to find how to point people back to Christ!
February 23, 2010
"SelfTalk" is what happens when one friend shares their life, story, or situation, and we respond in one of the following ways: We defer the problem to someone else ("You should really talk to so-and-so, she has a lot of experience with this"); we minimize the problem and frame it in a hopeful light ("it will get better eventually"); or we come to our friend's side by hating what they hate ("he really is a jerk"). There are numerous ways we speak SelfTalk on a daily basis, Crabb says. We speak SelfTalk to soothe our own uneasiness, to avoid saying what really needs to be said, and because it is easier to operate out of our own limited words and resources rather than rely on the Spirit's leading. And yet we still feel lonely and unknown. Crabb says that instead of trying to move away from the uneasiness as quickly as possible, he tells us how we can dance to the Spirit's rhythm and hear his voice so that we can speak words of life into others' lives. Really enjoyed this book and will come back to it.
September 6, 2012
I think this is a very good book but it has its limitations. Before reading this I read his other work Connecting which he wrote after this book. Together they paint an interesting picture- here you have a man who is one of the chief Christian voices from the school of psychology saying we have over emphasized the need for clinical intervention. What Crabb is attempting to do in these two volumes is to turn back the responsibility to the local saints, to empower pastors & elders as they should be and to equip lay people in the roles that the Holy Spirit is more than capable of doing through them. The downside of this particular volume is that it assumes that you the reader has a community that you can grow with it in the way that he is leading. You still can benefit personally from his advice but the group section will be a little less pertinent.
December 31, 2013
It's taken me quite a long time to finish reading 'Soul Talk". I've been on a journey with God to discover how to truly help others to desire a closer, more intimate walk with Him. That cannot happen if I'm talking "self-talk" - looking for a quick "Band-Aid" fix instead of trusting Him to know what is best for me. God always desires a relationship with us that is dependent and build of faith and love for Him more than the blessings He gives to us. This is a book that will remain with me and will be re-read over the course of my life.
It is also the last book read of the year 2013, and a great book to take with me into 2014!
It is also the last book read of the year 2013, and a great book to take with me into 2014!
May 28, 2022
This book changed my life. Dr. Crabb does an amazing job of painting the picture of what it looks like to truly move from self-obsession (which we are all guilty of in today’s culture) to God-obsession and how to inspire others to desire the same thing. I think if every follower of Jesus read this book, we would see a spiritual revolution like never before. READ THIS BOOK!
May 8, 2008
Quick read with a fantastic impact on the way we communicate and engage the Holy Spirit.
March 21, 2018
How to relate to others more deeply. Recommended by Cynthia.
April 25, 2019
3.5 round up to 4. Read this as part of a group I participated in to help a friend finish her training in "spiritual direction." this is my first encounter with any of Crabb's materials, and it piqued my interest to read more (we also completed the video teaching series and study guide). In this book, Crabb encourages us to think beyond self-obsession to God-obsession and how that ultimately transforms our relating to others. It definitely brings since awareness to our tendency to self - protect our to quickly emphasize our give advice. The process of soul talk itself feels challenging and in some ways quite unnatural, but I appreciate how this book has made me aware of how our natural tendencies in relating to one another are not always best. Overall, good material for anyone seeking to draw nearer to the Father and to help others do the same through our time spent with them.
January 15, 2021
This has probably been one of the most formative and eye opening books that I have read for class. It has clearly reminded me that the fundamental point in life is to grow in my relationship with God. This book outlines how to speak to others in a way that redirects them towards seeking communion with God in every aspect of life. Focusing on God first above all things does not guarantee that we will live a good and easy life, but it does mean that we will be satisfying our deepest desire to have a relationship with God. I would highly recommend this book for anyone looking for a shred of spiritual guidance. It taught me just as much about myself as it taught me about conversing with others.
March 9, 2021
I am reading this book for the 2nd time. So good. It teaches me how we can love others and ourselves by speaking SoulTalk not SelfTalk. People who are in love with God would be well versed in this Soul Talk.
December 3, 2023
Wonderful read. Crab is able to ride a line between churchy talk and real talk. He brings a deep understanding to a new way of navigating conversations in a world that deferred to churchy empty talk.
September 9, 2019
My life is forever changed from this book. Highly recommend for anyone to read but especially counselors and those in the helping professions.
March 30, 2021
Just finished this book after a one year hiatus. This is a good book but hard to operationalize.
September 7, 2021
This book helped me deepen my intimacy with the Lord. I found myself wanting to highlight the whole book!
April 2, 2022
A whole new way of thinking and perceiving how to relate to each other. I wish there was a pocketbook size I could take around and review.
December 12, 2023
This book was desperately in need of an editor. Some good nuggets hidden in a lot of repetitive and unfocused content.
January 2, 2024
I didn't finish this book because Larry kept talking about how great 'Soul Talk' is, but never coherently explained what it is---or at least took too long before my interest died.
June 30, 2024
Larry Crabb is noted as saying that Soul Talk: The Language God Longs for Us to Speak was his least popular book. I can understand why. Not that the book is badly written. It's not. And it has Crabb's signature message of love and connection to God and others. I think it's not as popular because the labels of soul talk and self-talk that he uses have different meanings in different types of literature and it's a challenge to set aside those definitions and embrace his. In addition, the book is often redundant. I think that was intentional, but it can also be cumbersome. Still, it is worth reading. You just may have to work a little harder at it than you do his other writings.
June 29, 2013
This book wasn't what I expected, in a good way. It went far beyond what I was expecting.
I read this in a book discussion group at my church and it is one of my top 5 life-changing books. Before you even get to discussing how to be intentional in conversations with other people, you work through your own issues first - such a critical step! I wasn't expecting that. I ended up discovering some things about myself I didn't know and learning some very big things. It was awesome!
I read this in a book discussion group at my church and it is one of my top 5 life-changing books. Before you even get to discussing how to be intentional in conversations with other people, you work through your own issues first - such a critical step! I wasn't expecting that. I ended up discovering some things about myself I didn't know and learning some very big things. It was awesome!
July 26, 2016
I read this book hoping to validate my gifting for Soul care. Instead what I have received is brokenness from the Spirit. Seeing my inadequacy and self-obsession. I cannot follow steps in my flesh and do soul talk. It is totally dependent on the Spirit. God has rocked my world through this book. It is my first Crabb book. I pray that as God continues to transform me and deepen my longing for him that he will allow me to dance with Him and talk soul talk. I have a long way to go.
September 20, 2009
Big idea: anything, even good things like wanting to make life work out, that get before our appetite to commune with the Trinity is what causes us to struggle in life. And when we talk with those we love, speaking Soul Talk, i.e., working together in conversation to get that appetite at the forefront, is the way of love. Loved the book!
July 27, 2011
How to shut your mouth and open your heart. I don't think that I could learn any how-to steps here. This book shows us why giving heartfelt advice is ineffective. It's a confirmation to me that all of those safe answers that I grew up with are Band-Aids. The purpose in listening is to encourage courage in others in their quest to seek God with ALL their heart, strength and mind.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews