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An updated edition of the bestselling guide!
Do you have problems saying "No?"
Do people always turn to you for a favor?
Wonder how you get roped into things you really don't want to do--with friends or family, at work or even with pushy salespeople?
Refusing someone is rarely easy. Often, it's downright uncomfortable. But constantly saying "yes" causes anxiety, anger, stress, regret, and feelings of powerlessness.
Social psychologist and author Dr. Susan Newman empowers you to break your debilitating yes habit with her simple techniques and insights. This new, enhanced edition is filled with research and timely scenarios that offer more ways to say "no" without feeling guilty or damaging your relationships.
You'll discover how to:
Recognize when someone is manipulating you into "yes"
Be ready with the words you need to refuse
Avoid being overcommitted, overworked and overwhelmed
Put an end to feelings of resentment or frustration
Make quality time for things you want to do
Establish and keep your boundaries strong
Harness the power of "No" and take back your life.
Do you have problems saying "No?"
Do people always turn to you for a favor?
Wonder how you get roped into things you really don't want to do--with friends or family, at work or even with pushy salespeople?
Refusing someone is rarely easy. Often, it's downright uncomfortable. But constantly saying "yes" causes anxiety, anger, stress, regret, and feelings of powerlessness.
Social psychologist and author Dr. Susan Newman empowers you to break your debilitating yes habit with her simple techniques and insights. This new, enhanced edition is filled with research and timely scenarios that offer more ways to say "no" without feeling guilty or damaging your relationships.
You'll discover how to:
Recognize when someone is manipulating you into "yes"
Be ready with the words you need to refuse
Avoid being overcommitted, overworked and overwhelmed
Put an end to feelings of resentment or frustration
Make quality time for things you want to do
Establish and keep your boundaries strong
Harness the power of "No" and take back your life.
333 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2018
37 people are currently reading
468 people want to read
About the author
Susan Newman
40 books75 followersSusan Newman, Ph.D. is a social psychologist, and the author of fifteen relationship and parenting books, including
Parenting an Only Child
, Little Things Long Remembered, and Under One Roof Again: All Grown Up and (Re)learning to Live Together Happily and The Book of NO: 365 Ways to Say It and Mean It--and Stop People-Pleasing Forever.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
October 7, 2021
This book is literally 365 different scenarios with ways to refuse to do things for other people. Doesn’t really get into the psychology of people pleasing.
September 4, 2020
Two star... multiple factors:
- Many scenarios do not apply to me. Sounds like the book is for a woman who has a traditionally ‘perfect’ or ‘normal’ life, with a loving husband and many children (or who’s newly engaged/planning a wedding etc), who lives close to her family, whose parents are alive, etc etc.
- most scenarios do not apply to the status quo of the world (so, unfair judgement on the book, given the COVID context). Really hard to read about how to turn down social invitations... no thanks. I miss humans.
- she sounds like a very entitled person, the type of person I do not like or want to be like. I had to endure the whole book and skipped quite some scenarios because it became excruciating to read it.
I know, the fact that I picked up this book is to change/modify myself a bit, but seriously, who is this entitled person?! There is even an example of asking the doctor to wait on scheduling a surgery so she can go to other doctors to confirm the case. What?! Just trust your physician! Unless you’re a medical doctor yourself!
- I wish that some chapters are devoted to discussing the psychology/scientific basis for these ‘rules’, instead of one example after another of so-called real life scenarios - again, most scenarios apply to a very small group of people who’s lucky to have normal things in life.
- Many scenarios do not apply to me. Sounds like the book is for a woman who has a traditionally ‘perfect’ or ‘normal’ life, with a loving husband and many children (or who’s newly engaged/planning a wedding etc), who lives close to her family, whose parents are alive, etc etc.
- most scenarios do not apply to the status quo of the world (so, unfair judgement on the book, given the COVID context). Really hard to read about how to turn down social invitations... no thanks. I miss humans.
- she sounds like a very entitled person, the type of person I do not like or want to be like. I had to endure the whole book and skipped quite some scenarios because it became excruciating to read it.
I know, the fact that I picked up this book is to change/modify myself a bit, but seriously, who is this entitled person?! There is even an example of asking the doctor to wait on scheduling a surgery so she can go to other doctors to confirm the case. What?! Just trust your physician! Unless you’re a medical doctor yourself!
- I wish that some chapters are devoted to discussing the psychology/scientific basis for these ‘rules’, instead of one example after another of so-called real life scenarios - again, most scenarios apply to a very small group of people who’s lucky to have normal things in life.
June 14, 2020
I don't think i liked that book, it doesn't have the phsycology aspect of making you understand why you tend to be a people pleaser and how to work on yourself to prioritize your needs and put yourself first, instead it consists of scenarios with different people (Family members, Friends, Coworkers and neighbor's) and it show you in each scenario how to say no and why, and in my opinion, most of the scenarios teach you how to be a J**k or and ***hole !!
Like seriously!! What kind of person would like to learn to say no to a best friend request on becoming her maid of honor for her big day !!! Who want to say no to his mother invitation over Christmas because this is the tradition of how we spend Christmas eve together or Thanksgiving!!! And not even a No because am out of town !! Its mostly a no to amplify that they cannot keep thinking they can invite me every year and take it for granted.
The Only No i learned through this Book is the No to the NO it was trying to teach me!
Like seriously!! What kind of person would like to learn to say no to a best friend request on becoming her maid of honor for her big day !!! Who want to say no to his mother invitation over Christmas because this is the tradition of how we spend Christmas eve together or Thanksgiving!!! And not even a No because am out of town !! Its mostly a no to amplify that they cannot keep thinking they can invite me every year and take it for granted.
The Only No i learned through this Book is the No to the NO it was trying to teach me!
March 28, 2022
This book was not what I expected! However, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it is extremely helpful in giving numerous scenerios on saying no to others. It also helps in understanding that if you say yes to someone, you are saying no to something else. The examples given in this book not only say no but say it in a way that will not be rude to the other person. I also loved that multiple scenarios are given throughout the book (dealing w/children, bosses, contractors, sales ppl, etc).
January 11, 2024
The best way I can describe this book is that it's a meditation on rejection. Get yourself into the mindset of each scenario presented and adapt it to your life. Wonderful contexts for people pleasers who want to feel more in control of their wants and needs.
September 7, 2025
The Book of No by Dr. Susan Newman is a practical self-help guide for anyone struggling with people-pleasing or overcommitment. Through research, relatable scenarios, and simple communication strategies, Newman empowers readers to set healthy boundaries without guilt. The book offers clear examples of how to refuse requests in personal, social, and professional settings, while also addressing the emotional challenges tied to saying “no.” Although repetitive at times, its straightforward advice makes it accessible and actionable for everyday situations. The updated edition reflects modern pressures, making it especially relevant in today’s busy, connected world. This is a useful tool for readers seeking to reclaim their time, reduce stress, and develop confidence in asserting their needs.
May 29, 2024
The book is so pleasant surprise. It is very practical rather than theoretical.
We can know all the science behind people pleasing and not to be able to stop doing that.
As people pleaser, I noticed that bunch of theory usually doesn't help a lot, because to brake trough is needed to accept new ways on emotional level, not rational. This book provide bunch of samples applicable on different areas of life and reader can practice imaging themselves in those scenarios and mentally to prepare for the next similar situation.
I've find this book in audible plus catalog and did not expect so much from it, but it is very good and useful to the one who struggles with people pleasing and setting boundaries.
We can know all the science behind people pleasing and not to be able to stop doing that.
As people pleaser, I noticed that bunch of theory usually doesn't help a lot, because to brake trough is needed to accept new ways on emotional level, not rational. This book provide bunch of samples applicable on different areas of life and reader can practice imaging themselves in those scenarios and mentally to prepare for the next similar situation.
I've find this book in audible plus catalog and did not expect so much from it, but it is very good and useful to the one who struggles with people pleasing and setting boundaries.
June 26, 2024
Couldn’t resist this one; 4 stars for relevance; 2 stars for style; as far as one-concept-books go, this was worth its listening time, despite being intensely repetitive; the core message is eminently worth sharing and the author does an admirable job in getting it across.
March 21, 2020
What's going on here?
A lot of common-sense facts, but a few new things.
Still, learned some great tactics.
2.8/5
A lot of common-sense facts, but a few new things.
Still, learned some great tactics.
2.8/5
April 11, 2023
The book was alright. It really contains quite a lot of scenarios were saying No is a great response, jowever the scenarious are evaluated a bit superficially. However, I did find it useful.
June 16, 2023
Farklı bakış açılarını görmek anlamak için çok iyi kurgulanmış . Bazı yerlere fazla katılaşıyor kitap ama olunası. Maalesef baskısı kalmamış. Okumak isteyenler dolap hesabımdan alabilir satıştadır.
November 25, 2019
I was really looking forward to reading the book as I tend to have difficulty saying no to people from time to time, but I couldn’t help but not agree with a lot of responses provided in this book. While some responses felt very obvious, there were many that felt extremely rude and counterproductive. I was hoping to read more about the process of coming up with a no and feeling more confident about it , but while reading the instances in the book , it didn’t exactly help me with the idea of not feeling guilty. It’s an ok read.
May 16, 2020
I have mixed feelings about this book. I think that there are some useful tips on how to stick up for yourself, but I also feel like it's very one-sided. I think CBT explorations are better at giving a holistic view to how to approach these kinds of things and to figure out what the impetus might be for why you always want to say yes.
February 6, 2023
Estos no se merece ni una estrella, este es el peor libro que eh leído, el Autor quería poner todas las frases con filosofía y no le salía y daba mucha vuelta para decir algo, no lo termine de lo malo es que este libro solo sirve para quedarte dormido
May 25, 2021
No, don't read this book.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews