I read and eventually finished this book in junior high. This book, along with the Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank and The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, was the only book I was actively engaged with and could bring myself to finish when liberated from the compulsory shackles of my accelerated reading assignments. When I was bored out of my mind in Mrs. Harris’s 7th grade ELA class and absent-mindedly running my hands through her class bookshelf after all her chromebooks were taken by other kids for coolmathgames and agar.io, I was intrigued by the interesting 3-D book cover of the raindrop cutout framing Rain’s face. After reading the first couple of pages, this book sold itself to 12 year old me. Bombarded by the ghostwriter’s no-nonsense approach to rawdog the sex, drugs, and violence straight into the first two pages, I wondered how on earth did this type of book surpass my K-8 school’s prudish filter? I’m serious! The film equivalent would be the animated movie Sausage Party getting played to kids; the music equivalent of this would be Melanie Martinez’s album Crybaby getting played to actual infants. In retrospect almost one decade later, I can now infer that it’s far beyond the school staff’s paygrade to inspect the content past the juvenile-presenting book covers. But luckily for 12 year old Sarah, she was delighted to authentically stumble upon a read to cure her dire boredom about some forbidden fruit that was too inappropriate to academically write about. Summer was just about to embark and no one’s eyes were on me (ugly duckling things) so I just stole that book without the teacher’s permission or knowledge. I still have that book to this day and I’m a rising senior in college now so I sure hope no one I know reads this and makes me start 7th grade all over again.
As I developed a sense of introspection about this story with a more mature head on my shoulders, I realized this book was just tragedy porn with an aimless plot that reinforced racial stereotypes, colorism, and misogyny/misogynoir. As a white girl who went to a white trash school in a white trash city, even I noticed something was fishy about the ghostwriter’s prejudice when they caricaturized Beni (Rain’s little sister) who’s described to have darker skin than Rain as loud, obnoxious, hedonistic, irresponsible, uneducated, promiscuous, and deviant (The Jezebel Archetype)—in stark contrast to how the protagonist Rain was caricaturized as the sensible biracial lightskin girl trying her best to be Miss Goody Two Shoes who aces her homework, refuses to interact with any other black people, and dedicates the remainder of her free time to cooking and cleaning in her apartment like a subservient little homebody. If I could reference any novel that embodies an author’s Madonna-Whore complex from how they set up their characters: this book would be one of my top selections. The colorism reinforced throughout the book with Beni antagonized as her older sister’s foil could harbor long-term self image issues for a young reader with darker skin as described in the book. Aside from the subliminal messages, let’s now delve into my archived memory of the events that happened in the book. I had to put the book down. Multiple times(!) The subject matter accumulated too much stress for my sheltered ass frequently. From my memory (huge content warning for rape): Rain went searching for Beni after she’s been missing for a couple days at a party. Beni walks back scantily clad into their apartment with bruises, scratches, and semen dripping between her legs onto the carpet from underneath her bodycon dress. She cried to Rain that she had been drugged after leaving her drink unattended to go to the bathroom and had multiple guys take turns with her as they took film pictures (the book’s setting was dated back to the 1990s/early 2000s). I had to put the book down after how the author framed this rape in a karmic way as if it was Beni’s comeuppance for being a troubled teenager. It was absolutely sickening. No one deserves to get raped, no matter how promiscuous or imperfect they are. Fast forward to two thirds in the book, Beni’s attempt to file a police report against her attackers for statutory rape, sextortion, and blackmailing CP was dismissed by police due to the gaslight-y “innocent till proven guilty”, “lack of evidence”, and “should’ve watched your drink” types of victim-blaming and has sacrificed several months giving various kinds of “favors” to her attackers to appease them from blackmailing the nude photos of her rape. One of those guys brutally stabs her to death and the police told Rain’s family that they aren’t going to launch an investigation or apprehend anyone because “Beni was a lost cause either way”. After all of the tragedy porn involving constant domestic violence between Rain’s intoxicated parents, Rain fending off the sexual advances from her adoptive brother Roy, and Beni’s tumultuous battle from her rape, Rain finds out her lifelong mother isn’t her biological mother. In fact, her birth mom was actually a white woman riddled with affluenza who felt a little ~adventurous~ to copulate with a black man one night in college then had to put the daughter up for adoption to “her own kin” because apparently a biracial child conceived out of wedlock is the most scandalous thing that could reign permanent stigma upon any Affluenza-sufferer living in the Hamptons. So Rain dips from her whole dysfunctional bereaved family she was raised with to live her happy ending with her rich white family in New York to pursue her dream of acting school and theatre, with no kind of resolution for the poor black family she chose to leave behind after her 18th birthday. The story’s ending was so random and threw me off. Rain had no desire to play in musical theatre or sing throughout the book so I’m curious about where that came from. My memory from 9 years ago is probably just not 100% reliable. If I could go back in time to tell a twelve year old girl one deterrent from this book: don’t read this book if you want to feel hopeless and disillusioned about the real world and the plotline.
2/5 Stars: ⭐️⭐️🍅🍅🍅