A Field Guide to Monsters

by Dave Elliott

All works of non-fiction these days claim to be the “definitive” this, the “essential” that, or “ultimate” the other. This guide, however, truly is essential, for the information contained within these pages may well save your life. This ESSENTIAL, ULTIMATE, DEFINITIVE guide is the most comprehensive tome ever put together on the subject of monsters. Within these pages lie the secrets to many of the monsters that are still at large today. Whether you are a monster watcher or monster hunter, you will find these entries invaluable.

We cover their height, weight and other vital statistics: their origins, their habitats, their eating habits (watch out Tokyo), and even their breeding patterns (those that have them). We also cover the following:

BEHAVIOR: Through careful comparison you can find out if your next-door neighbor, schoolteacher, boss, or even parent is truly what they seem.

LETHALITY: Discover which creatures are even more dangerous than secondhand smoke, non-saturated fats, and excess carbs.

WEAKNESSES: If you’re going to protect yourself from the forces of evil you MUST know not only how to protect yourself, but how to send the forces of darkness back where they belong (and we’re not talking train tickets here).

POWERS: Who can do what to whom and how: The when’s, the where’s, the why’s, and the what with’s.

Genres: Horror, Humor, Nonfiction, Reference, Film, Paranormal, Tv

192 pages, Paperback

First published October 25, 2004

Reviews

[Honesty]

Some of the humor was in poor taste (though not all of it, as there were a few laughs in here), and grammatical, spelling and even formatting errors abound, but overall not a bad way to kill time on a slow evening at work. I was already familiar with a lot of the monsters in here, but now I have a few more movies to try. Unfortunately, due to the obvious lack of care by the author, I can't really give it more than two stars, which is a shame because ordinarily monster books are right up my darkened alley.

[Rhonda Wise]

Technically I read the 2022 edition of this book but I cannot find it on Goodreads and it's been 3 months since I asked about updating the newest edition information.

Either way. This is a hilariously dark and funny book. It is based on movie monsters. So, do not even look at it for mythologic or fairy tale monsters. If someone has not made a movie of it, it probably is not in here.

That said, the author is very tongue in cheek and the humor is darkly gothic. I read the book, giggling like mad as I checked off the old movies I watched on Saturday mornings during the Creature Feature time. Creature from the Black Lagoon. The Thing. The Colossal Man. Gojilla/Godzilla. And more modern monsters like Freddy, Chucky, Cujo. And we cannot forget Audrey!

There are so many little barbed jokes thrown in the monster descriptions as well as their strengths and weaknesses. If you like old monster movies (black & white or technicolor), you will most likely enjoy this because it really is a rather nostalgic look at those movies.

[Peter]

The quintessential guide to monsters, live and in colour: classification of monsters, their behaviour, where to find them, mutated lizards, fish and dinosaurs, mutated men, women, animals, insects, mutated vegetables, monster men, manufactured monsters, supernatural monsters, monsters from beyond and how to protect yourself agains them. So many great photos, movie stills, illustrations on every kind of monster you can think of or you've seen on TV. Marvelous book that doesn't miss some humour. Highly recommended!

[Kate]

While an interesting read, I agree there are grammatical mistakes and some creature descriptions not researched fully (example: mogwai Gizmo multiplied with water first). I liked hearing some origin stories of the monsters, but a few of the political cracks weren't really that funny and seemed in bad taste. I could have gone without those and had more accurate stats and film "sightings" of the monsters detailed. Not bad for a Halloween read, but there are more in depth monster books out there.

[Linda]

My edition has a different cover, but same ISBN. Fun look at monsters from movies with great photos. Tongue-in-cheek discussion of behavior, lethality, weaknesses and powers of over a hundred of our most memorable monsters. Would have bee improved if it had an index.

[Bill Lenoir]

I'm getting kind of tired of the "wink-wink, aren't we funny trying to appear to be serious?" approach to certain topics. This might have been good if they actually did take it seriously, but then it would have taken more time to write, I'm sure

[Kaitlin Chenault]

Wish they would update this with the new monsters that have been discovered and interacted with. A funny read. Enjoyed it greatly and learned so much about our fight against monsters.

[William Wheeler]

I can honestly say this is like the Urban Dictionary of books but for monsters. Love it! Started and finished it in less than 24 hours. I'm still smiling about some of the funny things written.

[D]

Gotta love them bargain bin finds. And you usually get these good ones right around Halloween. I love Barnes and Noble. I really do.

Aside from being heinously inaccurate (I mean, to say the guy mutilated the Lost Boys section is an understatement), it's actually a pretty funny read. I don't know if the mistakes were intentional or a result of an "I don't give a shit" attitude but the snarky comments partially made up for it. So the guy can't tell the difference between Medus and a Hydra. Is that any reason to mark it against him? O_o

Nevertheless, it's a good handbook to have if you ever decide to take on the forces of evil, or attempt to shave a werewolf's back. Knowing where just to poke them to have them on the ground in a fetal position is vital. I would highly recommend backup material though because, like I said, at times the author couldn't tell his ass from his elbow and I wonder if this guy is really working for the other side and intentionally trying to screw us all over. Bastard.

I think the author fed his editor to Godzilla or something too because damn. A ten-year-old wouldn't have missed some of the stylistic errors I found. Sheesh.

[Witch]

A fun little book with many monsters described with pictures and little funny notes. If only it was accurate! There are countless errors and typos. It's like the authors didn't do any research at all. I also felt that while many obscure monsters were included, lots of others were left out. Predator? Alien? The things from Tremors? E.T.? I felt the need for Jareth the Goblin King to be included too.

When it describes Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, it says the first appearance was from 1931, but there was in fact an earlier silent film from 1920 starring John Barrymore. And I'm sure there are much more earlier renditions of the book in film.

When they mention Freddy Krueger on other pages of the book, they spell Krueger correctly. However, on the actual Freddy Krueger entry, they spell Krueger incorrectly as "Kruger."

On Grandpa Munster's entry, they say Eddie Munster is his nephew, but he's really his grandson. I mean, come on, really?

The list goes on and on.

[Frankenoise]

This is a neat book I picked up for cheap. It contains a lot of classic b-movie icons and that's something I was always looking for in a book like this. The basic idea of the whole book is interesting. It contains stats and brief description of each monster and there is some humor in here as well, though it's more geared towards a younger audience I think.

Because of this book there's a couple b-movies I need to watch now. The only disappointing thing I noticed is they don't have Cthulhu, C.H.U.D. or the classic Alien from Alien yet they put in Shrek!?. Otherwise this is a fun quick read that I can just pick up anytime... makes a good bathroom book too.

[Tom]

This book is a cute little thing, a light comedy posing as a "Field Guide" for what to do should you come across a "monster" from any number of famous (and less-so) movies and some TV shows. The book isn't really laugh out loud, and some monsters included might be questionable (like, say, Robocop), and there are no doubt dozens left out, but its basically entertaining for what it is.

[Matt McRoberts]

Mostly very useless in information overall about the different monsters. Mostly bad attempts at jokes. Nice pictures tho. Only interesting part is the size comparison chart in the back of the book.

Glad i only paid a couple dollars for this book (bargain book from Borders books) instead of the $19.95 original retail price for it as labeled on the back of the book.

[Glen Hannah]

Likeable tongue in cheek guide to movie monsters. Monster to a page with info about behaviour, lethality, weaknesses and powers. Plenty of wonderful photos make this a joy. Easy to flip through and would make a good gift for a movie monster fan. Some entries for the monsters of TVs Buffy. Fun read.

[Naima]

there is literally only one way to enjoy this book and that is to use it as a movie guide for monsters and skim it. otherwise it’s bogged down with problematic humor in a few different directions, particularly, whenever it’s a feminine or a black paranormal character, the text is just blatantly misogynistic and racist

[Douglas Ogurek]

Killer ants, 500-foot-tall moth-goddess, and everything between: manual gives tongue-in-cheek overview of cinema’s most famous monsters. Full review: http://theakersquarterly.blogspot.com...

[Amy]

I really liked this book, but I believe many monsters were excluded.

[Lisa]

Pretty funny but it did have some inaccuracies.

[Jason]

Full of errors and inconsistancies, like placing the Lost Boys in New England...

[Laura]

Best quick comprehensive guide to monsters that I've ever seen. If something unusual appears, I'll instantly know how to handle the situation.

[Jean Oram]

Everyone from Shrek to Frankenstein to Freddy Cougar. Great, colour images. Great for ages 10 and up. Shows size in relation to other monsters, lists special powers, etc.

[Charles Kelley]

Suggested by Teagan, a great read for the lovers of movie monsters.

[Kristian Reedus]

This book show all sorts of popular monsters from movies and TV shows! This book contains parodies.

[Jessica]

A fun guide to tv and movie monsters. Not definitive.