Bowen Theory's Secrets: Revealing the Hidden Life of Families

by Michael E. Kerr

A much-needed update to one of the most significant family therapy theories of the past century. Murray Bowen (1931–1990) was the first to study the family in a live-in setting and describe specific details about how families function as systems. Despite Bowen theory being based on research begun more than seventy years ago, the value of viewing human beings as profoundly emotionally-driven creatures and human families functioning as emotional units is more relevant than ever. This book, written by one of his closest collaborators, updates his still-radical theory with the latest approaches to understanding emotional development. Reduced to its most fundamental level, Bowen theory explains how people begin a relationship very close emotionally but become more distant over time. The ideas also help explain why good people do bad things, and bad people do good things, and how family life strengthens some members while weakening others. Gaining knowledge about previously unseen specifics of family interactions reveals a hidden life of families. The hidden life explains how the best of intentions can fail to produce the desired result, thus providing a blueprint for change.  Part I of the book explains the core ideas in the theory. Part II describes the process of differentiation of self, which is the most important application of Bowen theory. People sometimes think of theories as "ivory tower" productions: interesting, but not necessarily practical. Differentiation of self is anything but; it has a well-tested real-world application. Part II includes four long case presentations of families in the public eye. They help illustrate how Bowen theory can help explain how families―three of which appear fairly normal and one which does not―unwittingly produce an offspring that chronically manifests some time of severely aberrant behavior.  Finally, the book proposes a new "unidisease" concept―the idea that a wide range of diseases have a number of physiological processes in common. In an Epilogue, Kerr applies Bowen theory to his family to illustrate how changes in a family relationship system over time can better explain the clinical course of a chronic illness than the diagnosis itself.  With close to four thousand hours of therapy conducted with about thirty-five hundred families over decades, Michael Kerr is an expert guide to the ins and outs of this most influential way of approaching clinical work with families.

Genres: Psychology, Relationships, Science, Family, School

408 pages, Paperback

Published December 6, 2022

Reviews

[Morgan Blackledge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal.

Best book on Bowen family systems theory and therapy that I’m aware of.

Five stars ✨

[Jules · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this book took me 6 months to read and absorb, it has been the most thorough understanding of family systems theory that I have read. Kerr has done a splendid job weaving theory into narratives of his own family and unique case studies.

This book is not an introduction to the theory, it is an intense medical book that is not for the faint of heart.

If you’re interested in Bowen Family System Theory, I would recommend “A Failure of Nerve” by Edwin H. Friedman before you pick this book up.

I’m feeling accomplished.

[Christian Raab, OSB · Rating 5 out of 5]

Psychology is not my field of expertise but I have an interest in it. Systems theory is something I was introduced to in my seminary classes. There was much I didn't understand and even reacted against when I was first introduced to the topic. This book is a good teacher and after reading it, I feel I have a much better grasp of what it is all about and can see the great value and truth of it. Kerr is a great teacher. Of the many salient points Kerr makes, perhaps the most important is that psychologists and counselors need to look at relational patterns in families and other similar systems and not just as individual interior feelings and processes. A family of three really has at least six parties: each of the members, and each of their relationships with each other. Kerr does a great job especially of explaining how anxious relational patterns contribute to many psychological and physical illnesses and how differentiating self is hindered by such patterns but also the key to helping heal the system. My one criticism of the book is that there are many grammatical errors. It was sometimes distracting.

[Dave Galloway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr Kerr worked directly with Dr Murray Bowen for most of his career so if anyone understands Family Systems Theory is it Dr. Kerr. This book is clear and comprehensive. It's easy to read but doesn't over simplify the theory. It's would be very helpful to the average reader and the clinician. If you want a useful way to think differently about how families ( and society) operate this is your book. It will challenge you to thinking differently by "thinking systems". This is both hard, but also can be very freeing. I'm only part of the problem :-). And if I change my part, I can have a positive impact on the whole system.

[Lee Pfahler · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read most of this book for a professional course. It's quite "heady" so not as readable as Extraordinary Relationships but it expands on Bowen's Theory so it is more informative.

[Dorothy Nesbit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Murray Bowen evolved his theory based on close study of families, in an attempt to take a scientific approach to understanding how families work. It can be hard to get copies of some of Bowen's works, though I'm getting better at finding resources. In recent months, I have been studying the work of his successors, many of them written for the lay reader. I decided to add this weighty tome to my reading, which is clearly aimed at serious students of Bowen theory.

Michael Kerr worked closely with Bowen over a number of years as Bowen evolved his theory. In this volume, he outlines each of the core concepts of Bowen theory in turn, explores the process of differentiation which is a key component of applying Bowen theory in practice, provides worked examples to illustrate how Bowen Theory views particular examples in the public eye and in his own family, and proposes an additional concept, backed by plenty of science.

I don't like marking books and rarely do so, though my hand often twitched to reach for a pencil when reading this book. It's a significant and important read for students of Bowen Theory. It strikes me that Bowen Theory is significant for anyone who is serious about understanding the context for an individual's behaviour and how the relationships between family members have an impact on each other.

In the end I felt slightly torn between a four and a five rating. I found myself leaning into the standard of copy-editing to reduce the score of this book - at times, there were typos that I would like to see removed. However, on balance, it seemed unfair to reduce the rating of such a substantial volume for the sake of a few typos. Definitely a book I will be referring to again.

[Carolyn Bright · Rating 4 out of 5]

The most in-depth clinical psychology book I’ve ever read (or been tempted to read). I would only recommend it to someone with a solid framework of Bowen theory. Once I dove in, I thought it was well laid out with relevant examples throughout. Kerr was extremely generous in using his own family as an example.

[Lisa Lewton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I value and enjoy reading family systems theory. This book is an incredible compilation of Bowen theory. Written very well, much easier to read than “Generation to Generation” but equally as instructive. There are very relatable stories and the author is brave enough to use his own life at times to teach. A very helpful resource for clergy.

[Marco · Rating 5 out of 5]

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now about this specific book...

while it is not surpassed by his, well, unsurpassable Family Evaluation, it is a good one nonetheless. Mike is definitely more at home conveying theory per se than its biological/sociological underpinnings, but I assume he feels he owes that to the master.