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Lonely Boy
Daragh Fleming’s honest portrayal of mental health, wellbeing and recovery opens with a quote from Seneca, Moral Letters that states: ‘I will keep constant watch over myself.’ Throughout Fleming’s ‘Lonely Boy’, loss, friendship and death are at the forefront, and they are observed with a quiet awareness. It is at times a memoir, at times a guide, but it is always conscious of what it is doing. Fleming, as in life, is keeping a constant watch over his writing and the effect of his words.
Fleming’s writing is simple, direct, and incredibly honest. There is a vulnerability to the topics that he deals with, and he does not try to hide from it. Lonely Boy deals with the tragic suicide of a best friend, crippling panic attacks, what it is to be a man and what is expected of dangerous paradigms, the benefits of therapy, among many other pertinent discussions that should happen much more frequently. The writing is intimate and vernacular, so you feel that you might just be in a bar with Daragh where the conversation is flowing easily. By writing this book, in this way, Fleming reveals how these conversations in our society do not flow as easily or as frequently as they should.
At the heart of Lonely Boy is a man trying to be at peace with himself and his past, so that he can navigate his future. By doing this, he opens up about his struggles with mental health and what has worked for him. He is at no point condescending or preachy, but instead welcoming and helpful. He admits that he does not have the answers but by sharing his story with us helps us understand the questions. I’d recommend this book to anyone who has struggled with mental health, to any man who does not feel like he fits in, and to anyone who is open to reflection and growth.
Fleming’s writing is simple, direct, and incredibly honest. There is a vulnerability to the topics that he deals with, and he does not try to hide from it. Lonely Boy deals with the tragic suicide of a best friend, crippling panic attacks, what it is to be a man and what is expected of dangerous paradigms, the benefits of therapy, among many other pertinent discussions that should happen much more frequently. The writing is intimate and vernacular, so you feel that you might just be in a bar with Daragh where the conversation is flowing easily. By writing this book, in this way, Fleming reveals how these conversations in our society do not flow as easily or as frequently as they should.
At the heart of Lonely Boy is a man trying to be at peace with himself and his past, so that he can navigate his future. By doing this, he opens up about his struggles with mental health and what has worked for him. He is at no point condescending or preachy, but instead welcoming and helpful. He admits that he does not have the answers but by sharing his story with us helps us understand the questions. I’d recommend this book to anyone who has struggled with mental health, to any man who does not feel like he fits in, and to anyone who is open to reflection and growth.
198 pages, Paperback
Published November 24, 2022
1 person is currently reading
47 people want to read
About the author
Daragh Fleming
10 books16 followersDaragh Fleming is an author and poet from Cork in Ireland. He's weird, but in a good way. His conversational style of writing blends with a unique insight to create some very bizarre stories which not only entertain, but delve into the human condition.
He is informed by a background in psychology, linguistics, and mental health which is evident in his writing. He uses his stories as a means to commentate on the social climate of the modern era in an on-brand, provocative manner.
He is informed by a background in psychology, linguistics, and mental health which is evident in his writing. He uses his stories as a means to commentate on the social climate of the modern era in an on-brand, provocative manner.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
December 5, 2022
Mental health can be a very challenging topic to engage with, whether it is because of your own experiences, or those belonging to someone you know.
Daragh does a wonderfully haunting job of painting a genuine and wrenching insight into the mind of a young man navigating a world of hurt and confusion, at times. It's gripping, yet, fulfilling. It is nourishing to see someone provide such frank honesty with their own demons and struggles while championing a way to see the light in the dark.
It might not be comfortable to read this topic or see it in its purest of form. But I implore everyone to read it and realize just what someone might be going through and gain an understanding of what it might mean to help someone.
It is not just a brilliant read from a very talented author, it is potentially life-saving to many who read this book and take away its message.
Daragh does a wonderfully haunting job of painting a genuine and wrenching insight into the mind of a young man navigating a world of hurt and confusion, at times. It's gripping, yet, fulfilling. It is nourishing to see someone provide such frank honesty with their own demons and struggles while championing a way to see the light in the dark.
It might not be comfortable to read this topic or see it in its purest of form. But I implore everyone to read it and realize just what someone might be going through and gain an understanding of what it might mean to help someone.
It is not just a brilliant read from a very talented author, it is potentially life-saving to many who read this book and take away its message.
January 3, 2023
I received this book as a Christmas present from someone close to me who had heard Daragh's story on the radio and thought I might relate. This book is an honest collection of Daragh's thoughts and experiences, many of which I found very relatable. In particular, I found the description of the impacts of suicide summarised feelings I felt previously not explain in such beautiful words. Will definitely be recommending to family and friends.
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November 26, 2022Raw, Emotional, Real.
This is a raw and emotional account of a young man's journey with his mental health. Within the pages of this book, I think many anxieties and struggles are very relatable for many people.
I personally think honesty is very important when it comes to mental health. Lonely Boy is filled to the brim with honesty.
This book is a very powerful and moving nonfiction read. The author deeply reflects on his mental health throughout his adult years.
I want to thank the author Daragh Fleming for sending me a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a raw and emotional account of a young man's journey with his mental health. Within the pages of this book, I think many anxieties and struggles are very relatable for many people.
I personally think honesty is very important when it comes to mental health. Lonely Boy is filled to the brim with honesty.
This book is a very powerful and moving nonfiction read. The author deeply reflects on his mental health throughout his adult years.
I want to thank the author Daragh Fleming for sending me a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
December 10, 2022
An incredibly honest, outstanding collection of essays by Daragh Fleming. Brave, incisive and ultimately a book that helped me feel less alone. A beautiful read.
December 7, 2022
“This book is about really looking at yourself, taking stock of the flawed image peering back, and learning to move forward, despite how hard the road ahead looks”
Lonely Boy by Daragh Fleming was published November 8th with Book Hub Publishing and has been described by Anne Griffin as ‘a book of great depth and honesty’. Daragh Fleming is a person I have come to admire in recent times for his bravery and openness discussing his ongoing struggles with his own personal mental health. Louise Nealon describes what Daragh Fleming is doing as ‘trojan work’ as he transcribes ‘the emotional pain that has been lying dormant and stubbornly silent in men for generations.’ Daragh Fleming is an energetic and refreshingly honest individual who is willing to bare his soul in the hope of starting a conversation and keeping it going.
Only very recently my daughter, who is a Transition Year student (4th Year), was at a Teen Talk event and Daragh was one of the speakers. She came home later that day and commented on how great he was, how articulate he was with his words and how his message was strong. Everywhere I look, the comments are all the same. Daragh Fleming has awakened something, something that has been lurking in the shadows for years. He has initiated change and is really bringing the importance of looking after our mental health to the table.
When I started Lonely Boy I had to remind myself that Daragh Fleming was a real person and this was non-fiction I was reading. Daragh takes us back to when he was in Fifth Year in school and his best friend, Erbie, tried to kill himself. Sadly Erbie never came home from hospital and the tragedy of his death was the catalyst that led Daragh down a dark and lonely path. He blamed himself, to some degree, for his friend’s death
“Erbie’s death shattered the glass ceiling and unveiled some of the harsher aspects of life. His death revealed some of the darkest experiences people have to deal with, and how some of these things can actually convince you to die if it gets bad enough. I couldn’t see it at the time and I didn’t see until years after, but the death of my closest friend had catastrophic effects on me. Effects that would become permanent fixtures rather than temporary setbacks….The last lucid interaction between Erbie and myself has haunted me because it happened on the same day he tried to kill himself.”– Daragh Fleming
Daragh Fleming is a young man who had to grow up very fast. On this journey to where he is now, he faced multiple challenges and setbacks. His inner turmoil unleashed a chain reaction where his anxiety increased and his emotions were heightened. Unable to commit to relationships he openly admits how badly he has treated his partners over the years. He left his mental health unchecked for the most part until one evening out with friends in college, an event forced him to look at where he was at. Daragh was not in a good place. Physically he was ok as he had a passion for basketball and general fitness but emotionally the shell was cracking wide open and Daragh didn’t know how to stop it.
“The society we live in has always positioned men as resilient, unemotional, silent beings. It’s the way men ‘should be’. This is neither true nor realistic. Men account for three quarters of all suicides. These days we’re encouraged to speak up, which is good, but it’s not enough.”– Daragh Fleming
Throughout Lonely Boy, Daragh tackles the various triggers that can lead someone into a depressive and anxious state. His approach to writing about this is conversationalist, with absolutely no notions attached. His brutal authenticity, his willingness to be so raw with his emotions is stark. Daragh Fleming is not looking for sympathy. He is looking for support, to keep the awareness high and to keep that important conversation alive.
“Embrace your sadness and your anger. Don’t wish to stay in those states but accept that you feel sad when that feeling comes knocking. You don’t get to escape it. When you ignore it, you’re simply knocking the can down the road. You have to feel the emotion eventually, and the more you put it off, the more intense it becomes.”– Daragh Fleming
Lonely Boy is a reflection, a memoir, a truth. As I read each chapter there were numerous moments where I felt I was looking into a mirror. Daragh’s words resonated very strongly with me, as a female in her fifties, as I am sure they will resonate with many of you too. We are all guilty, some more than others, of abandoning our mental health and leaving it to fend for itself. But clearly this is not the way forward. Daragh speaks of the ‘community of you’, which includes you today and all the many future versions of you. He suggests that we ‘serve this group’ saying that ‘the community of you depends on you’. I have repeated this message to my own self and to my family. We all need to look after our own individual community in order to be able to look after others in our community.
Lonely Boy is vital reading, encouraging self-reflection and more conversations around our emotional wellbeing. Daragh Fleming is a powerful mental health advocate and his honesty throughout this book is uncomplicated and concise. A potent read.
Lonely Boy by Daragh Fleming was published November 8th with Book Hub Publishing and has been described by Anne Griffin as ‘a book of great depth and honesty’. Daragh Fleming is a person I have come to admire in recent times for his bravery and openness discussing his ongoing struggles with his own personal mental health. Louise Nealon describes what Daragh Fleming is doing as ‘trojan work’ as he transcribes ‘the emotional pain that has been lying dormant and stubbornly silent in men for generations.’ Daragh Fleming is an energetic and refreshingly honest individual who is willing to bare his soul in the hope of starting a conversation and keeping it going.
Only very recently my daughter, who is a Transition Year student (4th Year), was at a Teen Talk event and Daragh was one of the speakers. She came home later that day and commented on how great he was, how articulate he was with his words and how his message was strong. Everywhere I look, the comments are all the same. Daragh Fleming has awakened something, something that has been lurking in the shadows for years. He has initiated change and is really bringing the importance of looking after our mental health to the table.
When I started Lonely Boy I had to remind myself that Daragh Fleming was a real person and this was non-fiction I was reading. Daragh takes us back to when he was in Fifth Year in school and his best friend, Erbie, tried to kill himself. Sadly Erbie never came home from hospital and the tragedy of his death was the catalyst that led Daragh down a dark and lonely path. He blamed himself, to some degree, for his friend’s death
“Erbie’s death shattered the glass ceiling and unveiled some of the harsher aspects of life. His death revealed some of the darkest experiences people have to deal with, and how some of these things can actually convince you to die if it gets bad enough. I couldn’t see it at the time and I didn’t see until years after, but the death of my closest friend had catastrophic effects on me. Effects that would become permanent fixtures rather than temporary setbacks….The last lucid interaction between Erbie and myself has haunted me because it happened on the same day he tried to kill himself.”– Daragh Fleming
Daragh Fleming is a young man who had to grow up very fast. On this journey to where he is now, he faced multiple challenges and setbacks. His inner turmoil unleashed a chain reaction where his anxiety increased and his emotions were heightened. Unable to commit to relationships he openly admits how badly he has treated his partners over the years. He left his mental health unchecked for the most part until one evening out with friends in college, an event forced him to look at where he was at. Daragh was not in a good place. Physically he was ok as he had a passion for basketball and general fitness but emotionally the shell was cracking wide open and Daragh didn’t know how to stop it.
“The society we live in has always positioned men as resilient, unemotional, silent beings. It’s the way men ‘should be’. This is neither true nor realistic. Men account for three quarters of all suicides. These days we’re encouraged to speak up, which is good, but it’s not enough.”– Daragh Fleming
Throughout Lonely Boy, Daragh tackles the various triggers that can lead someone into a depressive and anxious state. His approach to writing about this is conversationalist, with absolutely no notions attached. His brutal authenticity, his willingness to be so raw with his emotions is stark. Daragh Fleming is not looking for sympathy. He is looking for support, to keep the awareness high and to keep that important conversation alive.
“Embrace your sadness and your anger. Don’t wish to stay in those states but accept that you feel sad when that feeling comes knocking. You don’t get to escape it. When you ignore it, you’re simply knocking the can down the road. You have to feel the emotion eventually, and the more you put it off, the more intense it becomes.”– Daragh Fleming
Lonely Boy is a reflection, a memoir, a truth. As I read each chapter there were numerous moments where I felt I was looking into a mirror. Daragh’s words resonated very strongly with me, as a female in her fifties, as I am sure they will resonate with many of you too. We are all guilty, some more than others, of abandoning our mental health and leaving it to fend for itself. But clearly this is not the way forward. Daragh speaks of the ‘community of you’, which includes you today and all the many future versions of you. He suggests that we ‘serve this group’ saying that ‘the community of you depends on you’. I have repeated this message to my own self and to my family. We all need to look after our own individual community in order to be able to look after others in our community.
Lonely Boy is vital reading, encouraging self-reflection and more conversations around our emotional wellbeing. Daragh Fleming is a powerful mental health advocate and his honesty throughout this book is uncomplicated and concise. A potent read.
June 28, 2024
What a book.
Main takeaways-
Enjoy current happiness. Don’t strive for future happiness as you won’t focus enough on the present. Happiness is fleeting, enjoy it while it’s here.
Enjoy the process. Find a purpose, embrace it, find fun in it.
Be kind.
Main takeaways-
Enjoy current happiness. Don’t strive for future happiness as you won’t focus enough on the present. Happiness is fleeting, enjoy it while it’s here.
Enjoy the process. Find a purpose, embrace it, find fun in it.
Be kind.
December 5, 2022
Lonely Boy is a deep, honest, open and emotional account of one mans mental health journey. It tackles anxiety, depression, loneliness, loss and adulthood to name but a few.
It's a non fiction book, which manages to transcribe what many people feel. Daragh is an amazing advocate for mental health and breaking its surrounding stigma. Its essay style writing makes for easy reading, and the writing itself is raw and insightful.
Lonely Boy is very relatable and I believe it will resonate with many others too.
It's a non fiction book, which manages to transcribe what many people feel. Daragh is an amazing advocate for mental health and breaking its surrounding stigma. Its essay style writing makes for easy reading, and the writing itself is raw and insightful.
Lonely Boy is very relatable and I believe it will resonate with many others too.
March 30, 2023
In Lonely Boy, Daragh Fleming unflinchingly addresses head on many of the topics we on this island love to avoid. Mental health, ultimate purpose, sex, death, isolation, and more get an honest airing as Daragh reflects on his journey from adolescence into adulthood, facing the issues many young people contend with today.
Would recommend for the young and old(er) alike, showing the potential fullness to living with vulnerability and connection.
Would recommend for the young and old(er) alike, showing the potential fullness to living with vulnerability and connection.
April 19, 2023
This is an essential read for any young man today. So much of what Daragh lays bare in "Lonely Boy" lies hidden and repressed in today's generation of minds. His honesty is refreshing and brave, his insights comforting yet challenging for anyone who yearns to be, and believes they can be, a better person. Would thoroughly recommend.
December 5, 2022
Very raw and honest. The poems in this book relate to a person going through turmoil until most poems of the overcoming. It's needed and well represented here.
December 6, 2022
Relateable, poignant and deeply moving. Daragh Fleming says it as it is. This is a must-read!
March 10, 2023
It was fine
March 12, 2023
Not a lot for the expensive price unfortunately
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews