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Second Chances: Facing My Demons and Finding a Better Me
A raw and honest story of alcoholism, recovery and courage in the face of loss
Hayley Holt grew up in the public eye. Now it's time to share her side of the story.
After breaking free from the strict dance schedule of her childhood, in her late teens Hayley found freedom at the bottom of a bottle: she became confident, easygoing, the life of the party.
Before long it became a crutch. As her high-profile TV career grew, Hayley spent nights drinking, getting kicked out of clubs, and blacking out. In this vulnerable memoir, she describes the scare that led her to Alcoholics Anonymous, her journey to sobriety, and an ADHD diagnosis that brought everything into focus.
Then, single, forty, and at the peak of her career, Hayley embarked on a pregnancy that was cut short by a devastating stillbirth. Yet in the darkest place of her life, she found hope in a blossoming new love.
Heartbreaking and inspiring, filled with Hayley's wicked wit, Second Chances is about finding the courage to face up to your mistakes, and learning that even the deepest pain can be followed by the greatest joy.
Hayley Holt grew up in the public eye. Now it's time to share her side of the story.
After breaking free from the strict dance schedule of her childhood, in her late teens Hayley found freedom at the bottom of a bottle: she became confident, easygoing, the life of the party.
Before long it became a crutch. As her high-profile TV career grew, Hayley spent nights drinking, getting kicked out of clubs, and blacking out. In this vulnerable memoir, she describes the scare that led her to Alcoholics Anonymous, her journey to sobriety, and an ADHD diagnosis that brought everything into focus.
Then, single, forty, and at the peak of her career, Hayley embarked on a pregnancy that was cut short by a devastating stillbirth. Yet in the darkest place of her life, she found hope in a blossoming new love.
Heartbreaking and inspiring, filled with Hayley's wicked wit, Second Chances is about finding the courage to face up to your mistakes, and learning that even the deepest pain can be followed by the greatest joy.
- GenresNonfictionBiography
320 pages, Paperback
Published April 5, 2023
23 people are currently reading
162 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
June 28, 2023
I knew nothing about Hayley Holt before a friend gave me her book to read. It’s takes courage to write a book like this.
Like many, I nearly DNF'd this – I found the first half of the book to almost screamed, ‘Look at me. Look at the privileged upbringing I had. I grew up in an affluent neighbourhood, and my parents began paving the road to my success with private dance classes.’ I wasn’t sure where this book was going to go, so I carried on reading. I’ve never had a problem saying no to alcohol, so I wasn't sure that I could relate to this book in any way, but there is a lot to Hayley’s story. Yes, she had a privileged start, without it, I doubt she’d be where she is today. Unfortunately, becoming successful in life is all about who you know and who they’re able to introduce you to – and Hayley had that.
She’s exposed her vulnerable side, baring her soul and opening up to what happened to her. Yes, she was an alcoholic. Yes, she tried AA, but it wasn’t for her. Even so, she still managed to turn her life around. From partying hard and living recklessly, to finding sobriety, and finally having a family of her own that she always dreamed of. It wasn’t easy, but life never is.
Like many, I nearly DNF'd this – I found the first half of the book to almost screamed, ‘Look at me. Look at the privileged upbringing I had. I grew up in an affluent neighbourhood, and my parents began paving the road to my success with private dance classes.’ I wasn’t sure where this book was going to go, so I carried on reading. I’ve never had a problem saying no to alcohol, so I wasn't sure that I could relate to this book in any way, but there is a lot to Hayley’s story. Yes, she had a privileged start, without it, I doubt she’d be where she is today. Unfortunately, becoming successful in life is all about who you know and who they’re able to introduce you to – and Hayley had that.
She’s exposed her vulnerable side, baring her soul and opening up to what happened to her. Yes, she was an alcoholic. Yes, she tried AA, but it wasn’t for her. Even so, she still managed to turn her life around. From partying hard and living recklessly, to finding sobriety, and finally having a family of her own that she always dreamed of. It wasn’t easy, but life never is.
November 2, 2023
Picked this up Browser's Bookshop in Hamilton and basically knew very little about Hayley Holt (probably my age and little interest in sport 😅). Her memoir is written in a way that is like you are having a conversation, which makes it easy to read. She is really open about many things, including her relationship with alcohol and other struggles in life, which for many people would be quite challenging to write in a book to be read by anyone! I also enjoyed reading about her adventures in life through sport, media/t.v. and politics. Also, it's just great to read about a New Zealand woman who kicked ass, made a few mistakes, and is continuing to keep going and not give up.
April 3, 2023
Loved it! There were so many highs and lows in this book. One minute you’d be laughing and then have tears in your eyes reading about her wee baby Frankie Tai. Highly recommend 🙌🏻
October 7, 2024
WHAT A BRAVE BRAVE WOMAN
To get these words on paper you warrior.
I’ve never read a book where I’ve laughed, cried and related with so much as this.
Hayley Holt had a story to tell and she did it unapologetically, straight from the heart.
a highly recommended read
To get these words on paper you warrior.
I’ve never read a book where I’ve laughed, cried and related with so much as this.
Hayley Holt had a story to tell and she did it unapologetically, straight from the heart.
a highly recommended read
June 28, 2023
Second Chances
Haley Holt- New Zealand Author
Biography, New Zealand Novel
This book made me think about how people feel they cannot speak about their issues because they are ashamed, and have a fear that it will define them as a person. In Haley Holt's biography, she writes about her childhood and her developed struggles with alcohol. As a teenager, Haley was always busy; filled with ballroom dancing, school, and no time for socialising. Haley began winning major titles as a ballroom dancer, but because of being so overworked, her love for the practice slowly slipped away. As an adult, Haley began to struggle with binge drinking, which was thought to have developed due to her continual burnout. When she went out to socialise, almost every morning following was spent recovering from a major hangover. This started to interfere with her overall life, when it put her career and relationships at risk. Haley writes about how she felt one morning after a night drinking; ‘Choking back tears of frustration and shame, I crawled back into bed and pulled the covers over my head.’Haley knew she needed to change her way of living, so she joined AA. But, she kept this decision private and her issue with alcohol hidden as she was worried that people would see her as unprofessional. An important message that Haley included in her book was the fact that your issues do not define you. Haley realised, during her time in AA, that a disability, struggle, or issue does not need to be hidden because of this fear- but in fact shared. Sharing struggles helps to relate and connect with people, it does not ruin your image or make you unprofessional. So, by Haley writing about her self discovery in relation to substance abuse, it relates to people and encourages them to come out of hiding and open up, helping them tackle their problems. After all, shame feeds on silence and seclusion, but languishes by only speech.
Haley Holt- New Zealand Author
Biography, New Zealand Novel
This book made me think about how people feel they cannot speak about their issues because they are ashamed, and have a fear that it will define them as a person. In Haley Holt's biography, she writes about her childhood and her developed struggles with alcohol. As a teenager, Haley was always busy; filled with ballroom dancing, school, and no time for socialising. Haley began winning major titles as a ballroom dancer, but because of being so overworked, her love for the practice slowly slipped away. As an adult, Haley began to struggle with binge drinking, which was thought to have developed due to her continual burnout. When she went out to socialise, almost every morning following was spent recovering from a major hangover. This started to interfere with her overall life, when it put her career and relationships at risk. Haley writes about how she felt one morning after a night drinking; ‘Choking back tears of frustration and shame, I crawled back into bed and pulled the covers over my head.’Haley knew she needed to change her way of living, so she joined AA. But, she kept this decision private and her issue with alcohol hidden as she was worried that people would see her as unprofessional. An important message that Haley included in her book was the fact that your issues do not define you. Haley realised, during her time in AA, that a disability, struggle, or issue does not need to be hidden because of this fear- but in fact shared. Sharing struggles helps to relate and connect with people, it does not ruin your image or make you unprofessional. So, by Haley writing about her self discovery in relation to substance abuse, it relates to people and encourages them to come out of hiding and open up, helping them tackle their problems. After all, shame feeds on silence and seclusion, but languishes by only speech.
February 10, 2024
A smile can hide so much.
Like most people looking at Hayley Holt's public life I knew only of her beautiful smile, her dancing, her love of snowboarding and of course being broadcasted into our living rooms whilst she was presenting numerous shows. I knew nothing of the demon inside her.
It takes a strong woman to relive a life that for many they would rather hide away with shame. When you lose someone, it is so easy to reach for a bottle to take your pain away. Because at the end of the day who wants to feel pain? Hayley's moment of realising that alcohol was destroying her life made a huge impact on me. Now when I am feeling down, I reach for a paint brush instead.
Thanks for being so open Hayley. You will no doubt help a lot of people with your remarkable openness. The only ones feeling shame reading this book are the ones who are still hiding their truths.
Like most people looking at Hayley Holt's public life I knew only of her beautiful smile, her dancing, her love of snowboarding and of course being broadcasted into our living rooms whilst she was presenting numerous shows. I knew nothing of the demon inside her.
It takes a strong woman to relive a life that for many they would rather hide away with shame. When you lose someone, it is so easy to reach for a bottle to take your pain away. Because at the end of the day who wants to feel pain? Hayley's moment of realising that alcohol was destroying her life made a huge impact on me. Now when I am feeling down, I reach for a paint brush instead.
Thanks for being so open Hayley. You will no doubt help a lot of people with your remarkable openness. The only ones feeling shame reading this book are the ones who are still hiding their truths.
June 5, 2023
I absolutely LOVED reading about Hayley's life journey!
Hayley has made the most of so many great opportunities coming her way through lots of hard work and dedication and it was so interesting to learn so much more about Hayley and the events that have made her the person that she is today.
I cannot begin to comprehend how utterly devastating Hayley's stillbirth must have been and my heart goes out to Hayley and Josh.
So nice to know that Hayley has found such deep happiness and love with Josh and their second Son, Raven.
Such a special read❤️
Hayley has made the most of so many great opportunities coming her way through lots of hard work and dedication and it was so interesting to learn so much more about Hayley and the events that have made her the person that she is today.
I cannot begin to comprehend how utterly devastating Hayley's stillbirth must have been and my heart goes out to Hayley and Josh.
So nice to know that Hayley has found such deep happiness and love with Josh and their second Son, Raven.
Such a special read❤️
March 31, 2024
Very interesting read. Just goes to show what you see on the outside is not always what’s happening for someone on the inside.
We are all complicated and fragile in our own ways.
She is really open about many things, including her relationship with alcohol and other struggles in life. I also enjoyed reading about her adventures in life through sport, media/TV and politics. Her career has taken many turns. Great to read about a woman who made a few mistakes, and is continuing to keep going and not give up.
We are all complicated and fragile in our own ways.
She is really open about many things, including her relationship with alcohol and other struggles in life. I also enjoyed reading about her adventures in life through sport, media/TV and politics. Her career has taken many turns. Great to read about a woman who made a few mistakes, and is continuing to keep going and not give up.
June 5, 2023
I'm a Kiwi living overseas and really didn't know anything of the author before starting her book. I love reading NZ stories though, they are grounding and bring me home.
I nearly DNF'd this one - the first part of the book felt like a stream of privilege and I wasn't sure there was anything in it for me. But I picked it up again a few weeks later and am really glad I did, there's so much more to Holt's story - I just hadn't gotten there yet.
I nearly DNF'd this one - the first part of the book felt like a stream of privilege and I wasn't sure there was anything in it for me. But I picked it up again a few weeks later and am really glad I did, there's so much more to Holt's story - I just hadn't gotten there yet.
August 27, 2023
I found the book a bit too slow paced in the beginning. There’s a lot of info on her life regarding her dancing and snowboarding that just didn’t draw me in. I always find it hard to rate a biography though. This is Hayley’s life and her book on it so feels odd to say it wasn’t interesting enough for me haha. I respect her story though and can relate to the baby loss and feelings surrounding that and am happy she found the rainbow to her storm.
March 29, 2025
3.5 stars. An easy, authentic read. Hayley’s lived a life, for sure. Good to see she’s taken the lessons from the hard times and has had a happy ending. You would never wish what happened with Frankie on anyone, although I’m glad she’s been so honest with their story and her feelings about it, so others in a similar terrible situation may be able to relate. Wishing her and her wee fam all the best.
April 15, 2023
Takes a brave woman to come forward and admit to her demons, especially one who is in the public eye so much of the time.
An inspiring read. Hope her little family continue to bring her happiness and peace.
An inspiring read. Hope her little family continue to bring her happiness and peace.
May 2, 2023
This book is seriously good. I've never watched The Crowd Goes Wild or Breakfast TV or Dancing With the Stars. So I didn't expect to read more than the opening pages.
It's thoughtfully and engaging written. But the big surprise is Hayley's raw honesty. Most of us hide our failures from the world. Hayley puts them up front and holds nothing back. In doing so she makes this more than a biography. It's a road map for recovery from addiction. And the stories of Frankie and Raven made me appreciate again, the value of life, and the intimate connection between parent and child.
Living in Mt Albert, with a family of performers, I had no idea how closely I would identify with this book.
It's thoughtfully and engaging written. But the big surprise is Hayley's raw honesty. Most of us hide our failures from the world. Hayley puts them up front and holds nothing back. In doing so she makes this more than a biography. It's a road map for recovery from addiction. And the stories of Frankie and Raven made me appreciate again, the value of life, and the intimate connection between parent and child.
Living in Mt Albert, with a family of performers, I had no idea how closely I would identify with this book.
May 10, 2023
Loved this! Inspiring with so many real highs and lows. Great reminder that we are all forever a work in progress.
“Who could I be if I stopped sabotaging myself?”
Adored getting to meet her at a book signing too. Happy to know she’s now got her little family! <3
“Who could I be if I stopped sabotaging myself?”
Adored getting to meet her at a book signing too. Happy to know she’s now got her little family! <3
June 9, 2023
An honest account of a life journey with real emotion, vulnerability and courage. I’m inspired by Hayley’s courage as she tackled her demons head on and my heart broke for her as she travelled her road to motherhood. A beautiful ending to her book welcoming Raven - life is precious 💕
June 12, 2023
An honest and brave account of her life. Well done Hayley. It’s easy to share the highs but very brave to share the lows. All the very best with your family. I enjoyed this beautifully and honest book
July 19, 2023
I really enjoyed this biography. I think it took a lot of courage to write it and admit failings, especially as a public figure in small town NZ.
I cried a lot in some parts and felt so much happiness for her and her contentment at the end. A great read.
I cried a lot in some parts and felt so much happiness for her and her contentment at the end. A great read.
July 20, 2023
I enjoyed this memoir of Hayley’s journey. Such a brave and honest account of her struggles with alcohol and her grief over the death of her little son. It also made me reflect on the effect that our childhood years and family attitudes have on our lives.
July 30, 2023
I was a huge fan of Hayley Holt as a kid watching her beat the boys to win Treasure Island and manage to be both a snowboarding tomboy AND a ballroom dancer!!! A super interesting book with a lot of details I never picked up on at the time.
November 6, 2023
A refreshingly honest account of growing up as gen z, the pressures and experiences. Hayley has lived a full on life full of ups and downs for one so young. I wish her all the best in her experiences in this new chapter as a mum.
January 1, 2024
Insightful, Hayley opens her life and her alcohol addiction to readers. Lucky, with her supportive family, friends, and colleagues throughout her journey to cone to terms with her addiction while leading a very public life.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 25, 2024
A story of overcoming addiction, loss and addressing trauma, Hayley articulates her journey incredibly well. Having watched Hayley on the TV all these years, I never realised the internal struggles she was going through. A must read for all the DWTS and CTI fans.
April 7, 2023
So good.
Refreshingly real.
Hilarious, heartbreaking and inspiring.
Refreshingly real.
Hilarious, heartbreaking and inspiring.
April 23, 2023
I loved Hayley before this book and I love her even more now that I've read it.
May 5, 2023
Bloody brilliant
June 1, 2023
Raw, honest, vulnerable and inspirational. This has to be one of the best biographies I have read. You get a real sense of Hayleys personality and the struggles she has been through.
July 1, 2023
Great read laughter and tears
July 5, 2023
Love me a celeb autobiography
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews