Remaining You While Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood

by Alli Worthington

A guilt-free guide that strips away the myths you've believed about motherhood and offers you a new way to think--about your kids, yourself, and being the mom you've always wanted to be. A recent Barna study stated that 80 percent of mothers are stressed out, 70 percent are tired, and 56 percent are overcommitted. This book is for every mom who feels overwhelmed, worried, stressed, overstimulated, tired, and strung out by all the demands of taking care of little--or not-so-little--humans. Bestselling author, life and business coach, and mom of five boys Alli Worthington believes too many moms have neglected to take care of arguably the one person who matters themselves. In Remaining You While Raising Them , Alli shares guilt-free, often hilarious, empowering, and research-informed advice to help Raising children who are spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy is essential, but to accomplish that heroic feat, mothers also need to be healthy in those areas. It's time to rediscover the beauty, the joy, and the sacred and secret art of confident motherhood together.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Family, Adult, Christian

272 pages, Paperback

Published August 8, 2023

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

I DESPISE when books aren’t upfront about being religious books. Why not just make it clear up front (aka a mention on the cover or in the description on the back)? Also unclear what the point of writing this book is if the answer to all parenting issues is just to leave it to god….🙄🙄

[Jessica Toro · Rating 1 out of 5]

I NEVER DNF books. This is probably the FIRST. Because the audience for this book are bible-following Christian parents. The book was not upfront about who its audience was intended, and hid the rhetoric behind the cover, behind the synopsis, and behind chapter names. The intent may not have been to promote Christian agenda…BUT in a world dominated by white, hetero, male, and Christian rhetoric…can we at least promote some diverse perspective by not hiding the majority views beneath the surface to keep feeding it down our throats??? Can we have some minority voices in these spaces???? Please?!?!?!?! 1 star…not on the basis that this was bad writing, or bad parenting advice or whatever. This gets 1 star purely on the basis that it was a lie of omission. I wanted to become a good parent. Good parenting does not equal following Christian belief systems. Sorry. Not today.
I can’t believe I just wrote my first bad review….sorry this book is yet another one of these “hidden agenda” non-fiction self-help types. Anyone else feel like this is a sneaky genre? Just me?

[Stacy Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was exactly the book I needed to read. If you’ve ever worried that taking care of yourself is selfish or that having time to do something you enjoy is taking away from your family, please read this book.

I love learning from women who are older than me and who have life experiences- add that to the fact she has talked to so many other women to add all the great applicable stories in this read.

Mad isn’t bad. 🩷
Good moms still have kids who disobey. 🩷
Friends bring happiness. 🩷
Your marriage is worth it. 🩷

This book filled my cup. Definitely a 5 star read that I will go back to often.

Thank you, Crystal.

[Annie Riggins · Rating 3 out of 5]

(3.5) Here, take this grain of salt before you read my review:🧂. This book presented one picture of motherhood (“slacker mom” with a sense of humor) in reaction to another picture of motherhood (perfect, i.e. unrealistic and unattainable mom).

The reason I didn’t take to this book is not because I thought it gave bad advice. I think it often gave really good advice. And if you haven’t encountered today’s counseling world, conversations about emotional health, or if you are in a funk and down on yourself about parenting, then by all means pick it up!

But I actually find myself bristling after reading it, because it’s books like this—more than the social media image of perfect parenting— that make me actually fear parenting. The *throw-my-hands-up* “my house is messy and my life is total chaos and I’m exhausted for about 15 years and then they’re teenagers… eek! 🤪” parenting is probably the least inspiring picture of motherhood that I could possibly describe. And in my 10 months of parenting (remember, 🧂), I’ve actually encountered way more of this Frantic Parenting narrative than I have the Perfect Parenting narrative.

What about striving for excellence with the help of the Holy Spirit? What about parenting with industriousness and above all, humility? What about serving your family and community selflessly but joyfully and confronting the sources of resentments when (or if possible, before) they rear their ugly heads? I don’t think the book would disagree with the above, but it’s not where the book draws its perspective. And I don’t think what I described sounds like picture-perfect parenting, I think it sounds like parenting as a child of God, parenting your kids while God parents you. It’s hard because our sin and our children’s sin makes it hard, but Jesus’ yoke is easy and his burden is light, and he who calls us is faithful.

What if Galatians 6:9 worked its way into our hearts: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” If bad teaching on Proverbs 31 has unfortunately influenced your thinking, I would gently suggest you go back and read it plain. It is the most inspiring and honoring picture of womanhood, wifehood, and motherhood I could possibly describe.

[Amanda Lyons · Rating 3 out of 5]

I absolutely loved the first 60-70% of this book. It was encouraging, freeing, liberating, and practical for the mom in 2023. However, the last 30% became a marriage book and the tone shifted away from what it was discussing in the first 2/3 of the book. I wanted more practical tips and then the book shifted gears. Ultimately, this book was a great reminder that the best way to be an excellent mom is not to be perfect but to take care of yourself and to model emotional/physical healthy boundaries for your kids. Still would recommend it.

[Lauren Klomparens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed listening to this. Often times I neglect myself thinking that someday I'll have more time for myself. This book did a good job of explaining how it's helpful to take time for yourself, not in the way culture elevates self care. She also mentioned several times that you cannot mess up God's perfect plan for your kids. And I found that so encouraging!

[Julia Shelburne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the book I needed to read today! Whew.

[Jen Burt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book and a very easy read! I loved the author's perspective on mothering! It was such a great reminder of how in order to take care of those you love, you need to take care of yourself first. Loved it!

[Kirsten LaRoche · Rating 4 out of 5]

I needed this book more than I knew! A little cheesy at times maybe, but I took it for what it was and honestly loved it. It was really just so encouraging and basically aims to help you banish “mom guilt” in your parenting journey.

Many parenting books I feel like give me great tools that I try write down and implement to get “just right”, which are great, but this one is more like: “You’re doing GREAT! Your kids are going to be just fine. You are a great mom. Now, what do YOU need!? Let me encourage you and let’s figure out how to keep your cup filled.”

It’s from a Christian perspective which I didn’t initially realize, so it’s like sitting down with an older wiser (and very non judgmental!) mom from church who is encouraging you with sentiments like “your kids need you to go to that girls night and fill your own cup more than they need that home cooked meal or a clean house that day”. Loved it!

[Laura Bitzer · Rating 1 out of 5]

There was nothing in the description that suggested a heavy religious influence, but there is a heavy religious influence in this book. It makes the book feel like it’s just a lot of opinions from one person’s personal experience, which, in my opinion, cheapens much of the provided advice. As someone who does not hold Christianity as a core value, so much of this book did not resonate with me and my values, and as such, I had an extremely difficult time buying in to what the author was trying to communicate. If I had known that the book was so religious in how the author structured her advice, I never would have purchased it.

[Kelsey Wehner · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most encouraging book I've read in a while! I was so afraid to be convicted and told what I'm doing wrong as a mom and this book only left me feeling empowered, encouraged, and in love with motherhood. A must for every mom.

[Aubrey Stanley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really feel like every mom needs to read this!! so empowering, encouraging, uplifting, and practical! I feel like I can breathe a little bit better after reading it. highly recommend!

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book so much!!! Absolute must read for all mommas! It was so encouraging and exactly what I needed. This will definitely be one I come back to frequently.

[Katy Dorsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for moms navigating every stage of motherhood! She includes lot of psychological research and Biblical truth. I’ll be recommending it to my friends for sure!

[Aubrey Fairchild · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book!!! It talks about prioritizing your mental health to be able to show up fully for your kids and wow do I believe that.

This was such a great read. Any mom friends out there - READ IT!

She has so many great one liners in the book and now I have a sticky note at my desk that says “Great moms work jobs they love.”

[Hannah Laudermilch]

Dnf at 35%. There's good stuff in here, but it feels more like a collection of Pinterest-worthy quotes than practical advice. I'd rather use my precious reading time on something else right now.

[Lauryn Hixon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a great parenting book. I loved the concept. I wish there were more hands on things to do or that there was more of a clear answer in her book. But overall I felt like I was uplifted and didn’t feel so alone in a lot of challenges that come with being a mom.

[Emily Wiebold · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel especially seen with the “mother load” (motherhood + mental load) sections.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book for any mom at any stage of mothering. I’m sure I’ll come back to this one in the future.

[Chrissy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listen to for free on hoopla. Definitely full of good information about how emotionally stable and healthy moms raise emotionally strong humans. Definitely think it’s worth a listen is your in a stage of life where mom guilt is drowning you.

[Elvina Zafril · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im glad that I received this book from Times Reads. I really need motivational read. This book helped me in so many ways and that's just what I needed.

Ever since I roomed in with my newborn baby in the hospital. I couldn't get enough rest. I often feel exhausted and sometimes brokedown because I am very very tired. Especially when my husband is at work. In addition, I am a first time mom. This is very new to me and challenging. 

Taking care of a baby and baby's needs are not easy. It also makes me happy. But I cannot deny I feel 24/7 exhausted while raising him.

This book will teach you how to care for yourself, emotionally and physically. It also opened my eyes that I don't have to be a perfect mom and act like I don't get tired. It will only steal my happiness. I love this book so much. Hope you like it too! 🫶🏼

[Elevetha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had almost returned this one to the library without reading, but I started flipping through randomly and liked what I was seeing. I'm glad I did!

Solid read, rounded up. I felt like she had a really good tone, and struck a nice balance between being encouraging without being condescending. The faith aspect was unexpected, and even more pleasant because it wasn't the driving force behind the book, but still featured as important.

Some of the stuff she said was similar to the ideas in Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be but I thought they were much better presented and approached in this one.

[Kim Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a delight to discover that other moms have similar struggles and that I'm not alone in wishing I could be a "better mom.

I keep thinking about “when I feel like a slacker, I should ‘focus on the majors, not the minors’.

We all need to see more Christian moms "fessing up" that they aren't perfect, and that even our kids who were raised on Blues Clues turn out okay. Something this special needs mom needed to hear as my adult son with autism is BC’s #1 fan. :)

It’s okay to not like to cook, not set screen limits, not make your kids eat salads, or do family devos ... God can still use you.

So appreciate the author’s vulnerability in sharing her motherhood journey. I highly recommend the audiobook so you can hear her read it to you!

[Rachel Torres · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard the author on a podcast recently before the book came out and their conversation felt like it was speaking to me. This is THE book I need in this season of mothering 2 young girls (3 year old and almost 6 month old). It released guilt and myths I’ve been carrying. “According to attachment science, moms of infants have to get it right only 50% of the time to be great moms.” What a relief perfection isn’t necessary!

It does discuss motherhood in terms of faith — I am a Christian so this spoke to me. If you struggle with faith that may be a challenge, but I think you’ll still get value from this book ❤️ I do wish the book provided more tactical tips about overcoming some of these myths and struggles. Despite that, I still foresee this being a book I reread later on.

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading through this super relatable motherhood book. There were so many times I noticed I was smiling to myself and nodding my head as the author told stories about different emotions and situations we face as mothers. Many of her messages were eye opening and take a bit of weight off your shoulders. The timing for this was perfect for me in this stage of being a mom to a three year old. It was a good reminder that I am doing a much better job than I sometimes think. Highly recommend for my mama book friends!

[Rachel Schwantes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this and made lots of highlights. It’s great read for a mom of small children. I thought it was uplifting and motivated me to make healthy changes. I loved the journal discussion questions at the end of each chapter. I participated in that exercise as I read through the book and I found it very helpful.

[Jewell Stahr · Rating 1 out of 5]

Taking inspiring Pinterest quotes and hiding a Christian fueled agenda under the guise of a parenting book is bogus. Didn’t learn a single thing except that everything happens because god intends it. While I do agree with that, I don’t see that as “parenting advice “. Also I have a very hard time listening to someone who has gone bankrupt in life. Rachel Hollis Jr nonsense.

[Krystal Weiner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this from my library!

Quotes that stood out the most:
The magic of motherhood is in who you are, not just what you do.

Investing in yourself and your emotional health is the secret art of confident motherhood.

[Tiffany DiCarlo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Did not finish. Only made it about 40% through. Eh, or anything I hadn’t heard before.

[Morgen Stoecklein · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not a re-read type of girl but this book seems like one that I will go back to read throughout the stages of motherhood. Great faith based guide on motherhood, highly recommend.