Duplicity: My Mothers' Secrets

by Donna Freed

A powerful, poignant and pacey adoption memoir which reads like a thriller' New York Times. Donna's birth parents were infamous con artists at the heart one of the US's biggest crime investigations of the 1960s. Adoption, Family and Fraud…
When her adoptive mother died in 2009 Donna Freed set out to track down her birth mother. What she discovered was truly shocking - she was the daughter of a pair of infamous con artists, at the heart of one of the biggest true crime stories to grip the USA in the 1960s. Previously redacted records from the infamous *Louise Wise Services in New York revealed that Donna's mother (27, Jewish and single), her father (40, Catholic, married with 4 children), had hatched a plan to defraud an insurance company and run off to Spain to raise Donna. Further investigation revealed that in 1967, Donna's mother, Mira Lindenmaier, faked her own death in a drowning accident off City Island in the Bronx for the double indemnity insurance money. Donna loved her tricky, unconventional adoptive mother, but was now keen to meet her birth mother and find out how and why her parents abandoned her. How would she feel towards Mira, her 'real' Mum. How has becoming a mother herself impacted on her feelings towards her two mothers? Gripping and fast-paced, this extraordinary memoir is also incredibly moving tackling fundamental questions about motherhood and identity, nature vs nurture.

Genres: Nonfiction

250 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 17, 2022

Reviews

[Sheila · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a free copy of, Duplicity, My Mother's Secrets, by Donna Freed, from the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Donna found out she was adopted when she was six years old. Wanting to find out information about her birth parents, she was shocked with what she found out. This was an interesting read, I could not imagine finding out im adopted and then who my real birth parents were.

[Kathleen Riggs · Rating 2 out of 5]

My Mothers' Secrets.
Donna Freed has written a memoir which I would say is average. Duplicity My mothers' secrets is about Donna finding out from your older sister that she was adopted when she is six years old. The book is told in two parts. The first part is about Donnas and her dysfunctional adopted parents, especially her mother. Donna tells stories of growing up in this family with her two siblings but nothing unusual happens that does not in most families.
The second part is after Donna's mum dies. Donna now wishes to find out more about her birth mother and father and Donna finds she is shocked when she learns that in 1967, they were involved in a scheme to collect a double indemnity when her mother was pregnant with Donna.
Sorry Donna an average book due to nothing special really happening in your life apart from your story about your birth parents and you could have made it a better read if it had been condensed to about half. Sorry for being so harsh. Thanks to NetGalley and to the publishers of this book for giving me a free advance copy of the book to preview and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Katy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoy a well written autobiography, especially if there's an unusual thread within the life story of the author. Despite the promise of being "powerful, poignant and pacey" and "reading more like a thriller" due to the insurance fraud that her parents attempted before her birth and adoption, the balance of the book seemed to be at least 75% on events which were not that unusual, special or, with apologies to the author, very interesting to read about. 3 stars for the unusual bits, but even then, I may be being generous.

[Krista · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Well written and insightful. I was particularly drawn to this topic because when over 50 I discovered my mother gave a baby for adoption in New York state. It didn't have the drama as this story but the complex emotions about finding family secrets are the same. I could most definitely recommend this book, especially to those interested in biographies and challenging family relationships.

[The Breakneck Bookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an emotional and fascinating read. I was gripped throughout, it's been a lovely read. thank you to the pigeon hole and the author for allowing me to read this book

[Tony Matthews · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Great story about family challenges.

[WS_BOOKCLUB · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with this book in exchange for my honest opinion. Duplicity: My Mother's Secrets is available now.

This is a tough book for me to review. On the one hand, I can't really say that my expectations weren't met because it's a memoir and how do you have "expectations" about someone's life, but I have to admit to feeling a little let down. I feel that what was advertised was not what I got.

Donna is an adopted child who spent a good chunk of her childhood not knowing that. When a throwaway sentence from one of her siblings revealed Donna's adoption, she began to resent her mother for not telling her. This, as well as some of the ways her mother behaved, led to a strained relationship as Donna grew up. Donna felt betrayed and her mother seemed to struggle with raising her and her siblings. Oddly enough, Donna didn't seem to have as strained a relationship with her adopted father, despite the fact that he also didn't tell her that she was adopted.

It was this sort of dynamic and the way that Donna explored her shifting and complicated relationship with her adopted mother that fed the story. While her search for her birth mother did come into play, it was a smallish detail that was only touched on briefly, later on in the book. I'm guessing it was mentioned in the book blurb to draw in more readers, which I felt is a shame. While it doesn't have a big "what" factor without it, the blurb would be more honest without that mention and would allow the book to stand as what it really is: an exploration of her evolving relationship with her adopted mother and her changing ideas of what motherhood really is.

Donna was honest about both her mothers' failings and her own. It becomes clear throughout the memoir that Donna is an introspective person who wants to understand why things change the way a person thinks or acts. She is curious about the role of nature vs. nurture and spends a good deal of time wondering if she will share any mannerisms with her birth mom when she meets her, despite not spending any time with her during her formative years. It is an interesting question and one that deserves the amount of time she spent on it.

However, the pacing was very off in Duplicity. While I'm sure the author spent more time on the parts of her life that had more meaning for her, it didn't transfer over well to the reader and I found myself wondering why some things were stretched out while others received much less attention. Was it because those memories were more vivid? Perhaps the emotional resonance of certain events didn't transfer over the way the author intended? Whatever the reason, I failed to connect to large parts of the narrative.

Let me explain what I mean by failing to connect. I don't need to relate to a person or character to find reading about them interesting. In this case, the failure to connect was that I couldn't understand why parts of the memoir were there or as stressed as they were. While it is important that a memoir retains the shape that the author gives it, the story did suffer for it in this case.

I struggled to get through Duplicity: My Mother's Secrets. While the concept is a fascinating one, it didn't work for me.

[Fay Flude · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not sure who the intended audience is for this book. Or rather, I am not usually someone who opts to read memoirs. It was the 'reads like a thriller' part of the synopsis that drew me in but I can't honestly say that this was my impression.
I had no idea about the true crime - before my time in 1960s and also in the US. I guess Duplicity made a fairly interesting read about adoption and would appeal to anyone who has experienced the process, plus I got to learn a little of what horrors lay behind the doors of the Louise Wise adoption services, which in turn raises fascinating ethical questions. So, a fictional but true slice of social history from a very personal perspective.
There were times I felt sorry for Donna being raised the way she was by her adoptive mum and there was genuine emotion portrayed when Donna describes meeting her birth mother Mira. It isn't mawkish but touching and tender in parts and quite outrageous in others.
There were times when the Pigeonhole staves flew by and other times when I found myself trudging through the story. I felt like I should know more and that if I knew more of the facts surrounding the memoir it would have been much more enjoyable but I guess I don't always want to turn a 'reading for pleasure' experience into something requiring research. Following straight on the heels of that thought is that I have become a lazy reader and then I feel disappointed in myself!
This isnot about me! This is about one woman's journey to come to terms with the story of her own life, her beginning, her adoptive life and the joy and pain of losing family whilst gaining blood relations.

[Amanda Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

*I was given this book to read and review from NetGalley. Thank you to the author and publishers for allowing me this opportunity—review is 100% my opinion*

Overall this was a good read of her life and would recommend to anyone who likes reading memoirs/autobiographies, especially true crime related ones.

The story the author lived is definitely a rough one. She had to endure being adopted but not even knowing she was til years later and her adoptive parents had very odd and maybe borderline abuse in some sort of way, parenting styles. I couldn’t imagine living the life she did and has been since.

I applaud her for wanting to tell her story however, some of it seems a bit unnecessary or a little confusing given the timing she picked to bring these memories up. There was a few times I was reading and had to reread a part several times and still wasn’t sure why it was brought up in that part or was confused in general at the point of the information. It was almost as if memories flooded back to her and she wrote them down as to not forget them and wanted to add them into the book but wasn’t able to sort the memories and information fully. I also don’t believe it fully read like a thriller as mentioned but I will say what she’s been through was wild enough you’d think it was a fiction story plot because it’s so unbelievable you wouldn’t think it really happened.

Overall this was a good read of her life and would recommend to anyone who likes reading memoirs/autobiographies, especially true crime related ones.

[Lori L (She Treads Softly) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Duplicity: My Mothers' Secrets by Donna Freed is recommended for readers who appreciate a wide variety of autobiographies and memoirs.

Donna learned she and her older siblings were adopted when she was six, a fact that her parents left unsaid unless specifically asked about it. Her adoptive mother was unconventional and as recorded, not always a very good and caring parent, but they came to terms with their relationship before she passed away. It is after her mother passed away that, as an adult in her 30's, Donna began looking for her birth mother and when she found her she also found a link to a true crime story. In 1967, her birth mother and father were involved with a scheme to collect a double indemnity insurance claim.

This is a novel of two parts. the first is Donna's childhood and her relationship with her dysfunctional adoptive parents, especially her mother. The second happens much later, after the half way point, and covers her search for her birth mother. Generally, I enjoy memoirs, but this one is not quite as compelling or interesting as the description implies. Honestly, the writing is average and nothing in her story reads like a thriller. There are many memoirs that are more engaging even without a tie to a true crime tale. Readers who enjoy memoirs will likely enjoy this more than I did.
Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Muswell Press via NetGalley.
http://www.shetreadssoftly.com/2023/0...

[Lucy-Bookworm · Rating 2 out of 5]

Donna Freed’s story is an interesting one. She was adopted as a young child but her adoptive parents had unusual ways of parenting, particularly when considered in relation to adopted children. The first half of the book explores this, whilst the latter part focusses on her search for her birth mother and the subsequent building of that relationship.

The book does raises interesting ethical questions about adoption, the parenting process and the duty of care to children who have been adopted.

Parts of this were hard to read, due to both the subject matter and the writing style. There are some parts that are quite touching but I found myself trudging through the story & it didn’t feel like the “reading more like a thriller” that was promised! The first part was particularly laborious.
Ultimately this is one woman's story about her life & the journey to come to terms with her own adoption. She is unhappy for much of her life & this shows in the story.


Disclosure: I received a copy of this book via The Pigeonhole. Whilst thanks go to the author, publisher & my fellow Pigeons for the opportunity to read it, all opinions are my own & my review is left voluntarily.

[Lynne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was such an emotional and moving story but it was also a book of two halves. The memoir of Donna Freed’s childhood where she learns that she is adopted from a throwaway remark by her sister and her mother’s erratic and often dysfunctional parenting, is at times written in a muddled style with a lot of irrelevant ‘padding’ and is not as captivating as the second part of the book concerning Donna’s search for her birth mother and the unfolding of her incredible story.

The difference in Donna’s relationship to Ruth as adoptive mother and Mira as birth mother was very well described. Ruth’s deficiencies as a mother when the children were younger was at times horrifying, yet her closeness to Donna as an adult, and her joy in her grandchild were heartwarming.
Thank you to the Pigeonhole for the chance to read this book.

[Laura Hamilton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was intrigued to read this after reading the blurb. This felt like a book of two halves. The first was slow, confusing and often a sad, heartbreaking read as the author detailed childhood with her adopted parents. The second half was definitely more pacey and fulfilled the "reads like a thriller" description as the author shared what she had discovered about her birth parents life and the events which led up to her adoption.
I am glad I stuck with the book as the style of writing (especially in the first half) made it difficult to get into and read, the style seemed to change in the second half and it was a much easier read.
With thanks to the author and the Pigeonhole for the opportunity.

[AnnieM · Rating 3 out of 5]

A memoir about finding out you and your siblings were adopted, becoming a mother and then reuniting with your birth mother. All interesting aspects of the story Freed tells but does not seem to hang together enough to keep my interest. There were moments I absolutely loved (particularly about her becoming a mother). The way the book was described made it seem there would be a big reveal about the duplicity but the payoff wasn't there. While she does near the end of the book reveal interesting secrets about her birth parents, it took a long time to get there. I think some editing down the content would have made this a more compelling read.

Thank you to Netgalley and Independent Publishers Group, Muswell Press for an ARC and I left this review voluntarily.

[Nicola Mackenzie-Smaller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Donna Fred’s story is a very interesting one. She was adopted, and the first part of the book details some this story, taking in her adoptive parents’ ways of parenting and treatment of their children’s adoptions. The second half of the book takes an unexpected turn when Donna traces her birth mother, who turns out to have been a somewhat notorious figure in an insurance fraud story.
I enjoyed this all the more because of my professional interest in adoption, but it’s also a quite astonishing birth and reconciliation story. Well written and reflective. Good stuff.
Read with The Pigeonhole.

[Kriss · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sad story of loss, finding and losing again told through the medium of a diary/ journal. An adoption story which primarily focuses on the author’s journey with two Mothers across two continents. While I get the impression that the author has lain the ghosts of past ills, there is very little mention of the present which seems to be full and joyous. The story meanders and deviates and may benefit from a little more editing and incorporation of a more joyous present. Thanks for the opportunity to read Donna Freed and Pigeonhole.

[Tammy Buchli · Rating 2 out of 5]

While the story itself should have been interesting, the telling of it failed to live up to its potential. It was dull. I was also confused by the title. The author.’s adoptive parents did fail to disclose the fact of her adoption, but not to a level I’d call ‘duplicitous., Her birth parents were frauds and criminals, but the author didn’t seem to hold that against them at all. I found it to be a frustrating read.

[Christine Rennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Duplicity: My Mother’s Secrets by Donna Freed is a story of her adoption and how she and also her two other adopted siblings find their birth mothers. It isn’t an easy read because the main person of the story doesn’t seem to be very happy. I read this book via Pigeonhole and I don’t think I would have read it otherwise.

[Di Paterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It's not a genre I usually read, but experiencing Donna's journey as she gets to grips with her adoption and finds out more about her birth parents was fascinating. At times I felt that the action was hopping around, but it didn't impact my enjoyment. Donna's writing is beautifully descriptive and emotive. My thanks to her and the Pigeonhole for the opportunity to read it.

[Valerity (Val) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an impressively written book about the author’s life of being an adopted child then adult. She was fine with her adoptive mother, never feeling a need to look for her biological mother. That is, until her adoptive mom passed away, and her young son brought up searching. This became the impetus for all that came next, including the shocking results of her search.

[Kyann · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the beginning felt like just another memoir, by 3 chapters in, I didn't want to stop reading. Reading this was like watching a favorite true crime documentary, a truly gripping story drowning in depravity of many kinds. Freed does an excellent job of dissecting adoption, family truths that are quite astonishing, and gives us a view into criminality in the past.

[steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

I thought the fraud part of this was going to be much bigger, but it was only in the last section and it wasn't super interesting (insurance fraud mainly). This was more a book about mothers and daughters - which I liked! Also it led me to do research on the Louise Wise Adoption Agency which was super interesting. All in all, a solid book but not one I would read again.

[Ellena Downes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Parts of this were hard to read I just don't understand why you would adopt three children and not take good care of them. The birth mother story was interesting but I'm not sure what the author got out of writing it. May be I was expecting a bit more but life isn't always like that.

[Gail Danks · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book just wasn’t for me. I felt like I was intruding in the authors life! I got to about 50 percent and then just skim read the rest.
Really not for me sadly.

[Star · Rating 3 out of 5]

** 3 stars **

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fascinating story lost in nonsensical writing.

[Stella · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had a ton of potential but ended up being a little more boring that expected.

[Meredith Scarf · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written memoir about adoption, identity, family, relationships and nature Vs nurture. The author had me laughing, crying and totally invested in her past, present and future.

[Kay Cairns · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have enjoyed the majority of this book. It must have been a very difficult story to tell. I found some of the writing brilliant and emotive but then other sections more like a list of events to skim through. Perhaps they were too difficult to write about? Thanks for sharing though 💓 read with pigeonhole