I have this revolting fantasy where I gift someone a copy of this collection, or some Frank O'Hara collection (likely his completed work), and I write on that blank first page that I always think of them when I read, specifically, "For Grace, After a Party," "Having a Coke with You," and "Morning."
but there exists no such person as of right now.
in that fantasy, we laugh at, "And someone you love enters the room and says wouldn't you like the eggs a little different today? And when they arrive they are just plain scrambled eggs and the warm weather is holding." 'cause how can you write a line so vivid and real... about scrambled eggs? and in that same fantasy, I am blazing a tirade while thinking of them, and I think we're in Paris, and they're on the balcony behind long, flowing white curtains towel-drying their hair while I read about how Frank O'Hara wishes he were in Paris, not New York, and I read "Having a Coke with You," having already been to those places, and maybe I'll read "Morning," as well.
but, for now, I am reading the "Selected Poems", not the complete collection. I think I have to save that for when I do meet such a person. I think this person reads, as well- hopefully they'll appreciate the collection I'll gift them. Of course, they read poetry, because we'll talk about how O'Hara is one of the few gorgeously whimsical poets with comedic integrity that can format his work properly, too. And they'll understand. I'd like to believe they have some poet I don't know in mind for someone like me. This is all very personal and private. This stays between us but- I have only ever loved someone who reads poetry once- and I do think of that person every time I read that one select poet's work. Every time I seek out that poet or that [redacted] bot shows up on my Twitter timeline, I do always think of them, as though, despite it being written long before us, it was written belonging to our names.
for now, I'm reading the "Selected Poems" and putting the complete collection on hold for a different, future time. maybe you'll read this and see I have marked it "Read", finally, and rated it, and I'll have some beautiful story to tell you in the review.
for now, there aren't enough stars for how O'Hara's work makes me feel- longing for some distant feeling; feeling like I'm reeling around New York; wishing I was reeling around Paris; wishing, maybe, I wasn't reeling at all.