Zimne piwo i krokodyle: rowerem dookoła Australii

by Roff Smith

It's not every day that a fellow decides to pack in a good job, pack up his saddlebags, and set off by bicycle to make a circumferential journey around Australia. In 1996, that's just what American-born Time magazine correspondent Roff Martin Smith did, though; as he explains, he'd been living in Australia for 14 years but didn't really know the country, and he "felt no emotional bond to it." About to turn 38, a few pounds over his ideal weight, and untested as a distance bicyclist, Smith faced up to considerable odds, but he survived to tell the tale.

And a rollicking tale it is, as Smith meets with an odd assortment of humans and critters along his sometimes torturous path. (One all-too-long stretch of road, for instance, he calls "the most dangerous and frightening I've ever had the misfortune to ride: a suicide run of hammering trucks, heavy construction, muddy detours, and lane closures.") Smith logs time in crocodile country, too, in the far northern Australian rainforest, where he counts the awful moments until antediluvian doom strikes. It never does, and in any event the crocs are nothing compared to the errant sheep, emus, kangaroos, and death adders he encounters, to say nothing of the 108-degree gusts euphemistically referred to by local weathercasters as "sea breezes"--none of which poses quite the dangers that his fellow humans offer out on the beery highways of Oz. Difficult though the journey is, Smith keeps up his good cheer throughout these lively pages, and, if he's not quite unflappable, he's certainly a sympathetic narrator.

Expanded from his popular three-part series in National Geographic magazine, Smith's pedal-powered epic is an instructive manual for anyone contemplating a life-changing journey--and, for the rest of us, a highly enjoyable, altogether unexpected tour of the outback. --Gregory McNamee

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Australia, Adventure, Memoir, Biography, Cycling

344 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2000

Reviews

[Chrisl · Rating 5 out of 5]

1/22/2020 - Adding an older review, one of the many I've copied from Kirkus.
"KIRKUS REVIEW
"Adventure travel at an easy pace, in territory that will be unfamiliar to most readers.

"Building on his recent three-part series of articles in National Geographic, journalist Smith recounts his 21-speed pilgrimage along the edges of Australia, a country he has lived in since 1982. “Australia,” he writes, “was pleasant, sunny, and suburban, but I felt no emotional bond to it”—a shortcoming he decided to address at 38, ever so slightly overweight and certainly not in fighting trim, by seeing the country on two wheels (a mode of transport, he slyly admits, that suited his financially straitened circumstances just fine). That stage having been set, adventure finds Smith quickly in these pages—he’s no sooner out the door when a road-rage-afflicted Sydney driver nearly takes him out of the game, and he regrets his decision at the first big hill he has to climb. Still, he presses on with what he calls “Yankee mulishness,” logging thousands of miles and enjoying mostly happy encounters with the survivalists, back-to-the-landers, rabid nationalists, Eurotrash vagabonds, cowboys, truckers, and retirees who clog the outback roads. This portrait of Australia doesn’t necessarily put the lie to the travel brochures—he finds plenty of beauty everywhere, and readers will envy him for that—but there are enough seedy little towns, venomous reptiles, and sundry unpleasantries that, he writes ruefully, “sometimes it was easy to think this was the highway to hell.” The author never stays in any one place long enough to do more than scratch the surface, and he tends not to say much beyond the obvious—standard National Geographic fare. Still, Smith is an unfailingly cheerful narrator, quick to laugh at himself and point out interesting sights along the way.

All in all, an enjoyable excursion for armchair travelers."
***
Among the top ten travel books I've read ... having hitch-hiked in back and forth across Australia in the 1960s, including some of the roads Roff rode, I'm grateful for his clearly portrayed images of Aus, particularly the southwest coast, the forested area around Albany.

A quote:

"Aborigines long ago adopted, in everyday life, Albert Einstein's simplest yet most profound theorem: All time is now. The unassailable philosophical common sense of this can be infuriating to those who live by the clock--and, of course, it's not terribly practical when it comes to running a business. But the more I traveled the outback, setting my days by the sun and the stars, the more I found myself living each moment as it came."

[Ieva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grāmatai nudien nav ne vainas, tikai tas nav mans žanrs. Izrādās, pat ja kāds brauc cauri Austrālijai. Tāpēc 4 zvaigznes ir tīri subjektīvas, jo esmu nudien labvēlīgs zvaigžņu licējs, bet 5 nekā nevarēju, nelikās aizraujoši lasīt.
Grāmatu kluba mēneša tēma ir "Sapņu ceļojums" - man tā vienmēr ir bijusi Austrālija (es apzināti atlieku naudas krāšanu šim ceļojuma, jo nezinu, ko es bez tāda īsta sapņu ceļojuma vairs iesākšu. Nu un bail vilties arī, kā ne kā augstas ekspektācijas reti kad nāk par labu). Vienmēr ar apbrīnu klausos par cilvēkiem, kas spēj doties klejojumā, kas prasa īstu fizisku piepūli un pārsvarā nekādu komfortu - es ne par kādu naudu nemītos karstumā uz riteņa tūkstošiem jūdzes (jā, starp citu apstiprināju savu ignoranci pat necenšoties uzzināt, cik tieši ir karsts vai cik tālu, ja raksta jūdzēs un fārneheitos, jo man tie izsaka neko, bet meklēt aprēķinus bija slinkums. Sapratu, ka tālu un tiešām karsti.)
Smita piedzīvotā Austrālija likās patīkami pazīstama no daudzajām filmām, TV šoviem un grāmatām, kas jau lasītas.

[Peter Tillman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fine account of the author's 40-week, 10,000 mile circumnavigation of Australia, by bicycle. It was quite a trip. Rather than write an actual review, here's Chrisl's nice one: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... He liked the book a lot. More than me, I think. I admired the author's desert passages in the windstorms, but would have no desire whatever to follow in his tracks. Though I do daydream, from time to time, of visiting the nicer parts of the country, in more comfort.

The most memorable parts of his book, for me, was the kindness of strangers he encountered, notably stockmen in the outback. And random people he would meet along the way, who would fill his water bottles, or feed him a meal, or put him up for the night. He was looking for "the real Australia" and I think he found it. Recommended for armchair travelers and dreamers. Strong 4 stars.

[Mark Jenkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Roff first covered his trip around Australia in a three part series in National Geographic a few years ago. It was a find to discover he had written an entire book on his journey since cycling around a country roughly the size of the United States should produce more material than just three magazine articles. It's not quite the same prose either, so if you did read these articles, you're not reading a reprint.

"Cold Beer and Crocodiles" is a poor title, especially when Smith's account proves there is so much more to Australia than the two. He does an excellent job of describing the different climates he rides and lives through.

Just as skillful is his portrayal of the various Australians he meets along the way. I spent several months in the country a few years ago, so I can relate to their overwhelming hospitality and generosity (most). As few truly unfriendly and hostile Australians as I met, I'm glad Smith wasn't afraid to mention the few he came across. They're such a small minority, especially if you consider a similar trip made around say the US. A small number would be so open to a strange cycling by their homes. Traditionally, Australians are used to strangers traveling through covering the vast distances in search of work. Even so I think Smith fortunate to get a rare glimpse (for the rest of the world anyway) into an outback station, several, and we're lucky to read about his other experiences. His balance between the positive and negative provides a wonderful narrative of his trip. I agree with other reviewers the book winds up extremely quickly, and he skips through and by several places worth commenting on. He barely writes about this trip in Tasmania. But this isn't the Rough Guide to Australia. What is mentioned and left out is entirely up to the writer. There are several other books on travel in Australia, such as Bryson's "In a Sunburned Country" to give a different spin on Oz.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite its idiotic title, Cold Beer and Crocodiles is worth it. It definitely has the same pitfalls as other travel narratives: too wordy, pointless stories, angsty introspection, etc. But Roff Smith does better than most for these pitfalls. And the other, more obvious reason you should read this book is that he circumnavigated Australia on a bicycle. Pretty badass.

One of my favorite passages from the book:

The highway west of Camooweal, however, took the concepts of empty, lonely, and bleak to a higher and more exquisite plane than my citified imagination could -- up to then, anyway -- have conceived. Two hundred and fifty miles of sheer sensory deprivation, across a dead-flat spinifex plain, led to the rough old mining town of Tennant Creek. The only relief from the tedium came at the tiny police outpost of Avon Downs, about 30 miles beyond the Northern Territory border, and the Barkly Roadhouse, about halfway to Tennant Creek. Other than that it was just wind, dust, flies, an empty vault of sky, and the aching loneliness of following a highway that seemed to lead nowhere.

[Doug · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of the great book discoveries of a lifetime. I had stumbled upon the series of National Geographic magazines years ago in which Mr. Smith's articles first appeared and loved them. I thought that the idea of riding a bicycle around Australia, or anywhere for that matter, sounded great. I had no idea that he had turned the articles into a book until finding it by chance while looking for other books on Australia. What a treat! The author captures the vastness of Australia's outback in a way that is both beautiful and haunting. Can't wait to try this adventure myself, although I don't know if I would be hearty enough to go it alone.

[Taiyo Watt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never read a travelogue like this before. I thoroughly enjoyed discovering Australia through the lens of a bicycle tour. The hospitality of locals, stunning natural beauty, and harshness of the landscape drew me in and kept me enthralled until the very end. Roff Smith has a great sense of humor and his writing made me feel like I was pedaling alongside him. I feel inspired to take a bicycle journey of my own one day.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

At the age of 38, Roff Smith gets a wild hare to bicycle around the perimeter of Australia. He's an American who's been living in Australia for a decade, but he's still not really sure how he feels about the country. So he quits his job, gears up, and takes off, somewhat well-prepared as far as gear and provisions go but with no real idea what he's getting himself into. The resulting book is a really interesting peek into the day-to-day of life in many different parts of Australia, combined with some survival/endurance stories. It's light-hearted most of the time, and though Smith gets a little snotty about how great and open he is at times, he also pokes fun at himself a fair amount. All in all a really fun read.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Author describes nine months spent riding counter-clockwise around Australia on a bike. An American ex-pat resident in Australia, he probably says less than most such travelers about the country because he had lived there so long. The "bike" aspect mostly means that he travels slowly and has experiences which he then describes. It isn't much about the bike although there is certainly an endurance aspect to his travels through some pretty extreme conditions.

The title is silly - crocodiles are mentioned once or twice.

[Liene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Skarba zeme tā Austrālija. Tāda ar skarbu klimatu un atturīgi sīkstiem, dažbrīd neviesmīlīgiem cilvēkiem. Dažbrīd šie cilvēki ir tieši tik neviesmīlīgi kā tuksnešainās vietas, kurās tie dzīvo, bettad atkal izkļūstot no neviesmīlīgā tuksneša, cilvēki mainās un kļūst viesmīlīgāki un izpalīdzīgāki, pāri tam gan joprojām nepazūd atturības sajūta. Laikam jau tieši tāds tu kļūsti zemē, kas tevi lutina ar karstumiem, aukstumiem, lietavām, sausumiem un vietām arī ar sniegu. Liekas, ka mērenību šī zeme īsti nepazīst. Toties tajā sadzīvo savādi zvēriņi, bērni mēdz mācīties skolā caur radio un pat Lieldienu olas te atnes nevis Lieldienu zaķis, bet Lieldienu bandikuts. Starp citu, autors kādā brīdī raksta, ka viņš visu var Austrālijas ziemās saprast, bet to kāpēc Ziemassvētki ir vasarā gan nē. Varbūt tāpēc austrāļiem ir sava “zvaniņš skan” versija.

Kopumā man patika tas, ka autors Austrāliju cenšas ietērpt vārdos, kas paspilgtina krāsas. Viņš nebaidās izmantot tēlainos apzīmējumus, lai apzīmētu savas sajūtas, krāsas kuras redz un pašu zemi.

Vairāk par aukstumu, kad autors sala, mani šausmināja karstums. Piemēram: “Kā izrādījās, nākamajā dienā augstākā temperatūra bija 119F, un vējš joprojām stundām brāzās no Lielā Viktorijas tuksneša. Dzīve uz šosejas faktiski apstājās. Degvielas uzpildes stacijas pārtrauca sūknēt degvielu, jo karstumā tā iztvaikoja. Putni krita zemē beigti.” Un un daudzās mušas, kas spindzēja gaisā, zeme, kas no sausuma plaisā, izkaltušie zālieni. Jā, viss stāsts, kas veda mani apkārt Austrālijai ir sajucis vienā murskulī un es vairs neatceros, kur bija hipiju zemes, kur aborigēnu, kur neviesmīlība zēla un plauka, bet vienu gan es zinu, ka kaut kur ap Adelaidu un Melburnu atkal sākās tāda kā civilizācija.

Vai es vēlētos doties un Austrāliju? Pēc šī ceļojuma vēl jo vairāk nē. Man nav vēlmes iepazīties ar pasaulē indīgākajām čūskām – taipaniem, satikt krokodilus, nokļūt musonu lietū vai kā tā. Tomēr es neiebilstu izlasīt vēl kādu grāmatu par šo savādo zemi, kas man šķita pārlieku nemājīga, lai es tur vēlētos dzīvot, neskatoties uz to, ka grāmatas autors, būdams, ieceļotājs, tieši Austrāliju uztver kā savas mājas.

[Agris Fakingsons · Rating 5 out of 5]

..pusi grāmatas izlasīju jau 2022. gada vasarā, bet tā kā vasara steidza izbeigties, noliku malā, bet pirms lielā ceļojuma 2023. gadā aizmirsu izlasīt. un tā šī grāmata gaidīja savu brīdi. ja nekur ar velo nav jāceļo, nevar tak lasīt kā citi ceļo un siekaloties ap prieku, ko sagādā mīšanās. šoreiz gan izdomāju paņemt līdzi un beidzot izlasīt. kaut lasīt sanāca vien prāmī uz Vāciju un prāmī no tās. bet arī tā bija labi. pats es nez vai spētu iedomāties mīties apkārt Austrālijai. visai Eiropai gan varētu.

[Stephen Case · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first met Roff Smith in Northwestern Australia, as he was in the middle of his bike trip around the continent. Not in person, of course. I read one of his National Geographic articles among some back issues shelved at my folks' house. But I recently finished Bryson's In a Sunburned Country, and Bryson was right: this was an incredible place that I needed to learn more about. I recalled Smith's articles and wondered if they were collected into a book. A bit of searching, an interlibrary loan, and I was off.

Roff's book documents his 10,000-mile biking odyssey around the perimeter of Australia. Departing from Sydney, he travels north up the coast and proceeds to bike across every Australian state (and one territory), including Tasmania. Smith's prose is that of a reporter, documenting his travels and the places through which he passes. His account primarily focuses on the people though-- from ranchers to campers to Catholic missionaries. He sees the land on a level that makes Bryson's account seem penned by a funny fat man breezing through the country in a car. But Bryson is the better writer, and Smith (perhaps because he's pedaling the better part of 100 miles each day) doesn't spend the time going into the natural history and accounts of past explorers that make Bryson's work such fascinating read. If you want an eye-level account of the aching emptiness of much of Western Australia though, as well as snapshots into the life of those who make such out-of-the-way places home, Smith's account is a good place to start.

My only complaint (besides the terrible puns he uses as chapter headings) is that because the account we get of the landscape is tied to this single bicycle expedition, by the time he's reached Southern Australia he's tired and sick and pushing for home. I would have liked to have spent more time here. Also, there's a laconic nature to the descriptions. There are lots of spots on his maps he breezes through, and the only picture we get of them is what he ate, drank, and the room he slept in. After nine months and 10,000 miles, I would liked to have read more.

Still though, I came away from this book with lots of other leads of classical accounts of travel in the Outback to check out, but the main thing I took away?

I need to get a bicycle like that.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I originally read this book shortly after it was published in 2000; reading it again now, I find it holds up well. Smith gives a nice balance of great experiences and difficult ones, so I think we get a sense of his trip as he experienced it, and not as an overly euphoric memory or as a portrait of grim suffering--of which he must have had plenty! Two things bothered me that I do not remember bothering me the first time: 1) Time. He often gives us time markers such as "after two more days' riding" or "12 hours later"; however, he very seldom gives us any sense of the overall passage of time (not until the very end). I would have liked to have known exactly when he took off and how many weeks and months were passing. Possibly he did this because he himself experienced time differently while on the road, but I in my ordinary experience of time would have liked the context. 2) Pictures. There are a few very interesting pictures in the book, all, apparently, taken by one photographer and most with Roff Smith in them. There is no explanation of how these pictures came to be, and the implication is that someone traveled with him--presumably not on a bicycle. I am left wondering whether the trip was really as risky as we are led to believe--and as it would be if he were, indeed, on his own entirely. I think it would have been more transparent had we gotten an explanation of how the photographer. R. Ian Lloyd, was present at all those different spots in Australia to take the photos--including at least one way out in the outback on a long stretch between cities where a wildfire was raging. Clearly they didn't just meet up at previously arranged spots in major watering holes. My 2 might explain the 1, although the text of the book clearly suggests the trip was contiguous.

Note: 2023: Given Mr. Smith's explanation in the comments of how the photography worked, I am pleased to have my question answered and I'm raising my rating another star as I don't have to harbor concerns that the whole ride was staged for the purposes of the book.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

I only know about Australia from what I've see on TV or the occasional book...this book by Roff Smith definitely arouses my curiosity as the land down under might be a place to visit one day.

This title is about the author's quest to ride (by bicycle) around Australia and hit all the major areas...he talks of his day to day adventures whether its on the road or perhaps at a stop along the way, thanks to some good Samaratin who offers a place to sleep.

You read of the many seasons of the continent...being in the Southern Hemisphere, their seasons are opposite of ours here in the States so their Christmas may be beach weather, much like our Independence Day is.

All in all a great read for the travel lover and for those looking for a bit of adventure.

[Scott Diamond · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Star. I'm an avid cyclist and I've read quite a few cycling travelogues. I've never been to Australia and, in part, I enjoyed learning about the country. For example most of us know how hot it is there but I didn't realize Darwin got so much rain. I also appreciated hearing about the author's bad experiences. Too many travelogues just describe the joy of the adventure. Roff talked about the difficult miles and, more revealing to me, how unfriendly some of the areas were to cyclist.

The author cycled but also spent time with a number of people along the way (e.g. helping out at a sheep station). This combination of cycling and visiting helped to break the book from the monotony of cycling. But I will say the book dragged somewhat for me in the first half. Nonetheless as the author finished up his tour I had the sense of his accomplishment and in a tiny way I felt like I shared the adventure.

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Happily agreeing with a certain relative of mine, yes, it was fun to read about a country that I came to love during my years there. It was a very engaging story that painted a memorable picture of Australia, and Australians. For the most part, the country is full of lovely, warm-hearted, friendly people who will always help you out, with just a few drongos here and there to keep it interesting!
Near the end of the book, it was especially poignant for me to be reminded of my first Anzac Day in Oz, three weeks after landing there, in a tiny town in the Snowy Mountains, losing money on my first ever game of Two-Up and enjoying several illegal drinks in the company of a great group of old Australian diggers. Wonderful memories.
Cold Beer and Crocs is an amazing true story of endurance (and a large amount of luck) over an incredible 10,000 mile journey, and a great read!

[Nina]

Enjoyed reading this autobiography about travelling by bike around Australia. This book was gifted to me by regulars at my previous coffeeshop as they knew I was going to Australia and worked in cycling. Reading this gave me insights into a foreigner's point of view on the country, its landscape, its people, animals and climate. Also about how tough it is to keep going, but once you set yourself a goal, however hard it might get, you will make it to the finish line. Not sure if it inspired me to do the same..., but defenitely makes me want to see the outback and small aussie towns.

[Michelle S. Berryman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cold Beer and Crocodiles was a pleasant read, but it felt too high level and superficial. This was an existential journey, but Smith didn’t dig too deeply into that aspect - nor did he dive deeply into the physical difficulties. This left me wanting “more” of something - adventure, insight, emotional connection, whatever it might be. I especially thought he glossed over how he managed his water supply riding in the heat across the Nullarbor Plain.

[Mary B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite its cheesy title, this is a well-written account of Ross Smith's 10,000 mile bicycle trip around the perimeter of Australia. It avoids the usual cliches about Australia and contains a lot of information about the physical attributes of the various regions and the people who inhabit them. I was pleasantly surprised.

[Larry Manch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Roff Smith, in Cold Beer and Crocodiles, takes the reader on a spectacular bicycle tour of the unique countryside of Australia. Imagine traveling by pedal power through the thousands of miles of desert, rainforest, and tropical landscape of this strange, fascinating, beautiful country. This is an exceptional, absorbing read.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't think a travelogue-style book would really be my thing, but I was pleasantly surprised! It's a good reminder to appreciate your surroundings because you never know what will become "home" to you.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did I rate this a little higher simply because it was fun to read about a country I’ve grown up hearing about, and spent a year traveling? Most likely yes. Was this an engaging story that paints a gritty, generous and memorable picture of Australia? Definitely.

[Dayna Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating and fast paced autobiographical memoir. Smith is an American who has spent years working as a journalist in Australia. He decides to quit his job, buy a bicycle, and cycle around the whole continent - a journey that lasts months and covers over 9,000 miles.

[Ilze · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sākumā man likās, ka autors vienkārši mehāniski atzīmē vietas, līdz kurām aizbraucis un tad es sapratu, jā, viņš neko neraksta par savām sajūtām un emocijām. Pēcāk jau bija arī tas un grāmata bija patiešām interesanta un izzinoša.

[Jeannie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the best travelogue about Australia which I have ever read. Perhaps it helps that I have been to so many of the places, but I found it a very affectionate and balanced account of Australia.

[Liene Krūtaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Viegla lasāmviela. Sākumā stāsts liekas mazliet vienveidīgs bet beigās kaut kā "ieskrienas" un paliek ļoti interesanti sekot līdzi autora gaitām.

[Mikus Saulitis · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading this book trip around Australia is now in my check list 😎

[Peter Wiggin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Czy nadal chce pojechać do Australii? Chyba nie....nie wiem.

[Lonneke Koudijs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book detailing a cyclist’s trip around Australia. Great insights and interesting anecdotes. Fun to read about some of the places that I’ve visited too.

[Tim Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parts of this book I really enjoyed and others not as much, but overall a very interesting snapshot of the land and cultures of Australia.