I Don't Need Therapy: and other lies I've told myself

by Toni Lodge

A hilarious memoir of home truths and whatever the opposite of 'that girl energy' is, from one half of the hit podcast Toni and Ryan.

Most of us tell little white lies all the time. Whether it's 'I'm five minutes away' or 'It must have gone to my spam folder', most of these fibs are harmless. But what if you realised that you weren't just lying about the little things, but the big 'life' stuff too?
When Toni Lodge sat down to write this memoir, she discovered that the lies she was telling herself were hiding some pretty important home truths—about her work, her identity and her mental health. Her dogged pursuit of these truths sent her on a brazen exploration of everything from gastro, fame and Twilight to funerals, the Dalai Lama and Brazilian waxes.
In this hilarious warm hug of a book, Toni exposes the lies she has told herself about who she is and what she is capable of, inviting you on a riotous romp that will make you laugh, cringe, cry and utterly rethink the truth behind the stories we tell ourselves.

'Hilarious, relatable and heartbreaking in equal measure. Toni's words will make you giggle and cry—on repeat.' Zara and Michelle from the Shameless podcast

'From fits of giggles to unexpected tears, this was like a besties road trip with Toni and a pure delight to read.' Sarah Davidson, host of the Seize the Yay podcast

'Nostalgic, tender, raw and laugh-out-loud funny. I loved it.' Chrissie Swan, television and radio presenter
'I absolutely love Toni. She is one of my heroes. So funny and relatable. I didn't read her book though, too busy.' Christian Hull, author of Leave Me Alone

'A nostalgic look back at our Australian childhoods, some questionable life advice and a hilarious explanation as to why Toni is the loveable hot mess she is today. Reading this book felt like hanging out with a best friend.' Ryan Jon, co-host of the Toni and Ryan podcast

Genres: Audiobook, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Autobiography, Humor, Mental Health

256 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 28, 2023

Reviews

[Stitching Ghost]

I have to preface my review with a disclaimer that I had no idea who Toni Lodge was, I've never listened to her podcast, I'm just a sucker for memoirs and I thought she was cute with her plant and tea pot so that was enough for me to pick the book up, that's how I roll.

I finished the book with the impression that Lodge is a charming and funny but generally uncontroversial person with whom you probably wouldn't have any kind of deep conversations. She's pretty relatable in some regards so it was a generally pleasant read.

Just a heads up that there's a fair bit about grief in there, it's not treated in a way that's devastating but if you're fragile about that stuff it's good to be aware.

No rating because I don't rate memoirs.

[Véro · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Miss Lodge, we can detect many ailments of the heart with this test, but heartbreak can't be detected and that is what you're suffering from, I'm afraid.'

If you want to laugh hearing Toni talk about running naked on a treadmill for a heart test and tear up a second later because of the doctor's verdict then this book is for you!

I listened to the audiobook on the train to work and it felt like Toni was sitting across from me telling her life story. Because of her podcast, I was expecting hilarious anecdotes and although there are plenty of those, the book mainly felt like a love letter to her late mom. A chaotic, funny, sad and sometimes gross love letter though.

[Marisa Hosking · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had been waiting since Nov 2022 for this book to release. But now that I’ve read it, I wasn’t overly struck on it. Usually when you read a memoir you walked away with a feeling of knowing and understanding the author in a deeper way than before. However I still don’t feel like I know Toni. Most of the stories I have heard on The Toni and Ryan Podcast so it felt like I paid $22 for a written version of those same stories. I felt bored at times because I had already heard them. I did get highly emotional when Toni talked about losing her Mum. My Mum is my best friend too and I can’t ever imagine losing her. I actually cried hard one night after reading the part “Things that I had to do after my Mum died that I didn’t think would break my heart”. I woke up the next morning and gave my Mum a hug. This book made me extremely grateful for my Mum being here with me. It fucking sucks that anyone has to experience their Mum dying. But I also found the book jarring in the way it was organised. I started tearing up again in the 3rd last chapter and turned the page to read “I’ve never shat myself in the street”. Tears immediately stopped and the moment was gone. I think if there was a blocked out chapter of mourning for Mum I wouldn’t have felt such a turbulent experience of emotions. Which I understand is probably how it feels in real life- grief is not linear. But for readers its easier to understand a story when it’s not jumping around everywhere.

Congratulations Toni on being brave and sharing your life with us. All of my review is personal opinion and I want you to know that above all of that ^ I did laugh and cry along with you <3

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laughed out lot, literally, many times throughout this book. I had no idea who she was until picking up her stories. I laughed with her and grieved with her too, also having lost my mom to illness. But there were parts that just went right past me. Not sure if it’s because of a culture gap between Australia and me, but let’s go with that.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not sure how I keep finding books that I think are going to be funny and then all the sudden I’m crying at the gym. This book IS REALLY FUNNY, but it’s also a heartfelt and honest description of grief and moving forward from loss. I listened to the audio version and it genuinely felt like I was having one of those deep get to know you conversations with a new friend.

[Suzie B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Completely readable and at times relatable. I haven’t listened to her podcast or seen her videos but genuinely feel her fans will be very happy with the book. She has a fresh and honest tone.

[Hamad · Rating 3 out of 5]

I discovered Toni Lodge by chance when Instagram decided to show me her reels and I thought she was funny. I wanted to know her more, so I decided to read her memoir.

I think it is a fair book, not very memorable. I read a few memoirs and after finishing them I feel closer to the author, as if I know them on a more personal level but with this memoir, it was so forgettable, and my knowledge of Lodge remains mostly from her videos.

I think that some parts were emotional and good, but some parts felt too personal, and I wasn't the biggest fan of them. My recommendation would be to read this if you are a big fan of Lodge but that makes me feel like captain obvious as why would you read this otherwise!

[Tara Byrne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up this book with only a vague idea of who Toni is but the bio on the back of the book and the title drew me in. Whilst I got through this book quickly (admittedly mostly listening on audiobook in the car) I did find a lot of the book to be self-indulgent and at times, the tone was a little entitled. Yes, there were lovely, raw and honest chapters when Toni outlined the grief of losing her mum to cancer as well as her struggle with mental health but I found at times feeling annoyed by the nature of the narrative. I’m sure others will enjoy this but it just didn’t hit the mark for me.

[Jessica Webber · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always struggle with rating memoirs; like I’m judging someone’s life story. I usually just base it on how well I relate to them and if the story kept my attention. Sticking with that, this was an easy 5 star read for me.

I love Toni and have enjoyed watching her videos and listening to her podcast for so long now. And I love her even more after hearing her story. I listened to the audiobook version and getting to hear Toni narrate made it even better for me.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like so many other reviews, I didn't know who this author was. She's never been on my radar. I just liked the title and the cover so I picked this up from my library.

This felt candid as she talked about childhood, her family, school, her weight, etc. And I loved the way she talked about her mom. What a superhero she must have been. We all need moms like that.

I also liked the humor. Just the way she looked at herself and life in general had me laughing out loud. So why only 3 stars and not 4. I'm not entirely sure. I liked this...I just didn't love it. And it bothers me just a little that I can't put a finger on the "why". So 3 stars.

[Amanzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, wonderful, funny, raw and real. I have fallen head over heels in laughter-love with Toni since I started listening to the Toni & Ryan pod at the beginning of this year. She is unashamedly herself in this book, a mishmash of life stories, her journey through radio and comedy, and ultimately a love letter to her mum and an insight into how she dealt with the grief of her loss. Love love loved it and you will too!

[Shayna Mae · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book. Wow. I preordered it all the way from Australia as soon as I heard about it on my favourite podcast (Toni and Ryan Podcast) and I knew it would be good. What I didn’t know was just how much my soul needed to read it and how thankful I am that this kick ass woman put a big bear hug into words that I can keep on my bookshelf for whenever I need someone to tell me that it’s okay and that I’ve got this, or when I need a belly laugh or a big cry. This book was all those things and so much more!

This book is for anyone who needs the hug/laugh/cry (and after the last few years, who doesn’t?), for anyone who has had a big loss (my dad - January 2020), for anyone who *probably* should be in therapy (no shame - it’s self care) and for anyone who just likes to read, period. It’s for everyone - so do yourself a favour and just read the damn book!

To Toni (in case someday you ever see this post) -
Thank you 🫶.

[Jenny GC · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never heard of this gal before but this book became available on my Libby app so I took a chance and I am so happy I stumbled upon it! Her story had me laughing one minute, and crying the next— more laughs than tears though, just so you don’t get scared away! It was a cute little book that I really enjoyed listening to! I mean, how can you not love the Australian accent? I look forward to listening to her podcast now that I know it exists! Its hard to rate someone’s story— as it’s their own to share now mine to rate but I will rate it 5 stars because I enjoyed it and any book that can make me laugh out loud deserves 5 stars.

[JT · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook, because as a TARPer it would be weird to not listen to Toni telling me her story, which was wonderful, and I forgive her for making me cry at work, in traffic, and whilst making dinner.

[Sierra Dean · Rating 2 out of 5]

If "go girl, give us nothing" was a book it would be this book. Toni seems genuinely lovely and funny and what I've seen of her podcast on TikTok has made me like her, but not everyone who is funny needs a book deal.

[Chloe O · Rating 5 out of 5]

The raw emotion that went into writing this book is so palpable, I’ve never laughed or sobbed so much. I power read through this and I’m now planning on getting the audiobook so I can listen to it in Toni’s voice.

An honest and wonderful account of her life so far. The ups, the downs and *spoiler* the shitting in the street.
Ya love to see it!!

If you’re not already a TARPer (Toni and Ryan podcast listener) I encourage you to go and listen, but read this book first!

[Shaun Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been a fan of Toni since I found her on social media and as a listen to her podcast.

This memoir is funny, witty, and you can hear her voice and cadence consistently through its pages. I do feel like I got a deeper understanding of her life growing up, and what it was like growing up in Australia (makes me want to visit)

The book is an easy ready which I appreciate. I would pick it up and then set it down and come back to it when I needed a laugh (it’s also very rare for me to sit and just read). I recommend it for a good laugh, and a good reflection on lies you tell yourself often

[Celeste Velocci (bookrecs_by_celeste)]

I always enjoy listening to memoirs and learning new things about people. I have heard of Toni Lodge through her podcast but was not really familiar with her. I found this on Libby in the available now audiobooks and decided to give it a listen. I enjoyed her humor and her story of how she dealt with grief.

I do not rate nonfiction memoirs because who am I judge someone’s memoir. I enjoyed it!

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Toni is as endearing here as she is online. I cried through the entire book.

[besslovesbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always hard to rate memoirs but this made me laugh several times and her mom memories got me direct in my own mom feels. I especially liked the audiobook to hear the author’s inflections of her own stories, she is very funny.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The MOST relatable book I’ve ever read. Thank you Toni Lodge for writing this and for making me feel seen and understood in the best possible way. You’re a legend!!!

[Fredagsmys1 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hon verkar vara en sån härligt genuin människa! Älskar också att det är hon som läser ljudboken.

[Tasha (Associative Dysfunction) · Rating 5 out of 5]

The better half of Toni and Ryan podcast comes the memoir of Toni Lodge. This book made me laugh as she runs naked on a treadmill. Cry, my heartbreaking as she retells her grief making her voice break and everything in between as she recaps all the crazy stuff that happens to her. I truly felt Toni was talking to me like a friend, telling me her story.
I’ve been through grief after losing the one who helped, loved, and raised me. Hearing Toni talk about her mom was a blessing and a curse for me, but well worth feeling those feels. Time does not heal grief. You learn to deal and recognize those emotions for what they are. You cherish the memories.

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Grief is just so fucked."

This is a book I didn't know I needed. I'm actually not familiar with Toni's previous work, and entirely picked this up because the title and cover art made me chuckle.

I was expecting the laughs, and there are plenty of those, but what I wasn't expecting is that Toni lost her mum to a brain tumour when she was young. Same here. The way she wrote about the grief in the aftermath of losing her mum was the first time (in over 15 years) that I felt like there was someone else out there who genuinely got the way I had felt. So that was impactful for me personally.

Anyway, that specific relateability of Toni's story wasn't the only reason that I enjoyed this book. It was like sitting down with a friend-of-a-friend who you only sort of know over some beers and really getting to know them well. The conversational tone, the honesty about the good and bad, and the humour all made this an engaging read.

I laughed, I cried, and I really appreciated Toni for being so open about her story. A great little book, and I'll definitely be checking out her podcast next.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

After finishing this audiobook I am sure that @tonilodge and I are soul sisters. We would be great friends, if she wasn’t super famous and if we could put our social anxiety aside 🫠

Toni shares the story of losing her mum, the bullying that comes hand in hand with being in a larger body and her journey to being one of the best podcasters in the country 💜

At times i felt like Toni was telling my story, being best friends with her mum and losing her…then trying to navigate adulthood without her. Her explanation of the grief journey is pretty spot on👌

Toni is so relatable, nothing is left out 🤣 God, i wish i could hear it again for the first time!

Hey Toni, I’ll shout you a coffee if you’re ever in Tassie 😏

[Olivia Fulker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Toni Lodge and I loved this book just as much. I’m so glad she got the opportunity to write this book and it felt very special to read so much about her life with laughs and tears along the way. Even if you don’t listen to her podcast (start listening, it’s hilariously incredible) you’d still love this book for the way it’s written and the stories she tells.

[Phebs Cinnabon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy to read, funny and relatable book. And Toni does acknowledge this, however I do think that this book is written from a very privileged perspective. Overall 3.5 stars.

[Tyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 4 out of 5

The key thing that I enjoy about Toni Lodge, in both her podcast and this book, is the aura of authenticity and sincerity which she has about her. Sure, its a plus that she can somehow make gastro hysterically funny, but her authenticity is what is truly compelling, there's really no hint of a manufactured personality..

I Don't Need Therapy is naturally nowhere along the lines of a self-help book (although Dr. Lodge has a few prescriptions in a section of the book) rather it is a humorous memoir in which Lodge discusses in depth how she handles grieving for her mother as well as her (sometimes funny) coping mechanisms through life.

A lot of the humorous anecdotes that Lodge relates do overlap with content to be found in her podcast with Ryan Jon, which is naturally named; Toni and Ryan. While that might sound redundant, who doesn't like hearing a good storyteller tell a story twice? (Also I challenge you to have a podcast with five episodes a week and not repeat yourself on occasion).

Lodge is upfront and honest, her life has been largely fortunate. She hasn't lived a life like Anne Frank, Tara Westover, or Tadeusz Borowski. By reading this book I was reminded that sometimes life's greatest struggles are the ones we all have to deal with, the loss of a parent, growing up, dealing with anxiety and depression on a regular basis. This isn't to say that living under Nazi Germany or growing up in a cult are no big deal, but rather, I probably (hopefully) won't have to live through the equivalent of Nazi occupation and as such, I am able to relate to Lodge in a way which is rather more personal.

The biggest aspect of this book is how Lodge handles the loss of her mother to cancer, and she does a superb job. More than once I was brought to tears (which isn't saying a whole lot because I tend to leak water from the eyes a lot when reading compelling stuff). She goes into a lot more depth about her mother's passing than she does in the podcast, probably due to the more methodical medium of a book when contrasted with a podcast.

In the end the combination of Lodge's sincerity, writing style, and humor made this a highly enjoyable read.

[Sharyn Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

BOOK REVIEW 📖
@tonilodge ‘I don’t need therapy (and other lies I’ve told myself)’

Usually I’d take a wacky pic of me and the book I’m reviewing but on this occasion, I stole this one of Toni Lodge and her book, because you need to see and know who the talented, intelligent human who wrote this book.

I think Toni is hilarious, when I got this book I knew I’d laugh and love it - which I did. You may know her from her podcast, her work with the legends Jase & PJ or this might be your introduction (ya welcome)

But I also cried, thought about it deeply, wanted to hug Toni and my admiration for her has grown.

Through the book Toni shares funny stories, thoughts, memories, predicaments and incredibly raw honesty.

The biggest moments that have stayed with me were from Toni sharing stories of her family and losing her from all accounts incredible mum. It made me as a Mother and daughter think of moments in my life with my own Mum but also of the boys and the memories they’d have of growing up with me, if I can be half the Mum it sounds like Toni’s was, I’d be be pretty happy with that because she sounded absolutely out the gate amazing.

If there’s a book to read this year, make it this one. It’s so far my fave book of 2023 and I’ve written this multiple times trying to get the right words.

Congratulations Toni, I’m sure your family are so proud of you and having all these moments documented is so special.

PS. I read the physical and then got the audio book too so I could play parts on radio and if you listen to the audio esp, prepare to choke up when Toni does 😭

PPS. The Dalai Lama moment is 😂

RATING: 10 stars out of 5

[Deborah P · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stumbled upon this one by accident, looking for an "available now" selection in the memoirs category on Libby. I didn't know Toni Lodge's witty and silly memoir was largely about dealing with the weird and tumultuous grief of losing her mother, and I didn't know it was exactly what I needed and that I'd relate on so many levels. It was such a breath of fresh air and it felt like I got to know this ultra rad and fun gal from Australia. She seems like a girl's girl and hyped up other authors and gave book recs. The only times where I was like "ok yeah whatever that's not how that works" were the times she mentioned she had a concern so she called her doctor and just went to the doctor and had the diagnostics she needed. But I live in America, soooo 😬😬😬

*very thick Australian accent on Audiobook