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Alex Cheradon #1
Fruitbasket from Hell
"Rule number one: Never try to stake a vampire with a piece of Formica shelving."
Alex Cheradon is a professional. His business cards specifically say he doesn't do the supernatural. But in a world where narcotics demons are a Tuesday problem and your ex-partner is a literal lunatic who wants you dead because "the voices" said so, professionalism is a relative term.
Now, a tech billionaire has offered Alex a million-dollar payday to find his missing daughter. The catch? She might be a Satanist trying to bring a creature named Pookie to Earth. Armed with a .45 Colt—a "gift" from his deadbeat dad—and a sixth sense that mostly just tells him when he's about to get punched, Alex has to save a world he's not even sure he likes.
Warning: Contains high-speed sarcasm, questionable life choices, and a protagonist who really, really needs a win.
Alex Cheradon is a professional. His business cards specifically say he doesn't do the supernatural. But in a world where narcotics demons are a Tuesday problem and your ex-partner is a literal lunatic who wants you dead because "the voices" said so, professionalism is a relative term.
Now, a tech billionaire has offered Alex a million-dollar payday to find his missing daughter. The catch? She might be a Satanist trying to bring a creature named Pookie to Earth. Armed with a .45 Colt—a "gift" from his deadbeat dad—and a sixth sense that mostly just tells him when he's about to get punched, Alex has to save a world he's not even sure he likes.
Warning: Contains high-speed sarcasm, questionable life choices, and a protagonist who really, really needs a win.
- GenresHumorVampiresParanormal
357 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 6, 2004
About the author
Jason Krumbine
80 books27 followersJason Krumbine loves to write! He's happily married and lives in Manhattan, NY where he enjoys reading in Central Park, going to movies and discovering new stand-up comedians. You can connect with Jason at either his website, www.jasonkrumbine.com, Facebook, Twitter (@jasonkrumbine) or good ole' fashion email onestrayword@gmail.com. He's always up for a talk about the newest Star Trek movie or what's happening in the world of comic books and TV.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
March 16, 2026
Not worth your time
I picked up this book because the author had the audacity to say this book was as good as a well know NYT best selling series with a cult following. Unfortunately, he doesn't just slightly miss the mark, I don't think he'seven in the same zip code, this is my first DNF for the year, I just could not force myself to continue reading past 33% of the book. I never once laughed, smiled, or even remotely found anything funny or interesting in the book and I could no longer continue to delude myself into believing that the book will get better.
There's a line where Alex says he cant handle reading the book any longer and should burn it, I should have taken that as an omen.
I picked up this book because the author had the audacity to say this book was as good as a well know NYT best selling series with a cult following. Unfortunately, he doesn't just slightly miss the mark, I don't think he'seven in the same zip code, this is my first DNF for the year, I just could not force myself to continue reading past 33% of the book. I never once laughed, smiled, or even remotely found anything funny or interesting in the book and I could no longer continue to delude myself into believing that the book will get better.
There's a line where Alex says he cant handle reading the book any longer and should burn it, I should have taken that as an omen.
February 5, 2011
Alex Cheradon is a PI. He tries to stay off paranormal cases (vampires and the like), but they seem to find him anyway. His latest case offers him a new twist on Hell on Earth as he's hired to track down the whereabouts of Nevada Raines, daughter of the computer billionaire, Steven Raines. After a run-in with a bloodthirsty vampire, Alex is glad to have a case that put a million dollars immediately in his pocket and wasn't likely to involve the undead. Unfortunately, there's just the little matter of the Satanist cult, a vampire nest, and a little visitor named "Pookie" to contend with. If Alex can stay alive long enough, he just may save the world.
With a certain quirkiness reminiscent of Janet Evanovich's "Stephanie Plum" series, Jason Krumbine has created a bizarre cast of characters: Alex, the Private Investigator who manages to stumble through cases by pure luck, Nicky, the metrosexual secretary who is more interested in clothing choices than cases, Christian, the not-quite-alive ex-partner who seems hell-bent on killing Alex (well, it's not Christian's idea, it's those pesky voices), Angie, the ex who gets hired to be Alex's bodyguard but just may want to kill him herself, and all the wacky clients who hire Alex under false pretenses. The plot is a frenzied and outlandish race as Alex tries to find Nevada in time to save the world from Pookie.
Written like a rambling from someone's brain (complete with frequent and extensive parenthetical comments), the writing style is quirky and somewhat fun at first, but begins to become somewhat grating towards the end. It's difficult to judge the writing style, as the run-on sentences, sentence fragments and oddly formatted sentence structures seem to be created by design, not accident. It's a quick, amusing read, but a bit like being in the brain of someone with an attention disorder. Slightly out of context, there are a few comments that come off as simply racist. I couldn't quite figure out if they were meant to be funny, but they just seemed out of place.
Just compelling enough to keep you reading, "Fruitbasket from Hell" a quick and goofy ride through someone's subconscious.
@ MotherLode blog
With a certain quirkiness reminiscent of Janet Evanovich's "Stephanie Plum" series, Jason Krumbine has created a bizarre cast of characters: Alex, the Private Investigator who manages to stumble through cases by pure luck, Nicky, the metrosexual secretary who is more interested in clothing choices than cases, Christian, the not-quite-alive ex-partner who seems hell-bent on killing Alex (well, it's not Christian's idea, it's those pesky voices), Angie, the ex who gets hired to be Alex's bodyguard but just may want to kill him herself, and all the wacky clients who hire Alex under false pretenses. The plot is a frenzied and outlandish race as Alex tries to find Nevada in time to save the world from Pookie.
Written like a rambling from someone's brain (complete with frequent and extensive parenthetical comments), the writing style is quirky and somewhat fun at first, but begins to become somewhat grating towards the end. It's difficult to judge the writing style, as the run-on sentences, sentence fragments and oddly formatted sentence structures seem to be created by design, not accident. It's a quick, amusing read, but a bit like being in the brain of someone with an attention disorder. Slightly out of context, there are a few comments that come off as simply racist. I couldn't quite figure out if they were meant to be funny, but they just seemed out of place.
Just compelling enough to keep you reading, "Fruitbasket from Hell" a quick and goofy ride through someone's subconscious.
@ MotherLode blog
April 23, 2009
This was a clever/funny story that made me laugh out loud in some spots, cringe in some spots, jump in some spots, and wonder just how the detective was going to stay alive in some spots. There are vampires, a scorned ex-girlfriend-vampire-huntress, an interior-decorating-minded sidekick, some demons, some able-to-come-back-to-life bad guys, and some normal cops all messing up this guy's life. (and income flow) It's hysterical. I can't believe there's a happy ending. Well...kind of.
Now, I've got to make this one caveat...the version I read was riddled with typos and grammar issues...but I still enjoyed this story like you wouldn't believe. It was fantastic. But if those typos take you out of the story, you'll be disappointed. If you can overlook that sort of thing, you will LOVE this book. Trust me. Vampires showing up when you least expect it, grenades going off when they shouldn't, covens where you thought it was safe, and just all-around mayhem abound.
It's fabulous.
I loved it.
Now, I've got to make this one caveat...the version I read was riddled with typos and grammar issues...but I still enjoyed this story like you wouldn't believe. It was fantastic. But if those typos take you out of the story, you'll be disappointed. If you can overlook that sort of thing, you will LOVE this book. Trust me. Vampires showing up when you least expect it, grenades going off when they shouldn't, covens where you thought it was safe, and just all-around mayhem abound.
It's fabulous.
I loved it.
August 24, 2011
First of all the concept of the book is great. However, the author really needs to check himself on the racial front. If there is an African American in the scene he says something derogatory about them. On another note he should really pay for someone to edit his books for grammatical errors. As long as you don't read carefully with one eye closed the errors don't interfere with the story. In all for the 99 cents I paid for it not bad, but not good. I hope my 99 cents goes towards the author's fund for racial tolerance classes and an editor. Lastly, I got this book from bn because the caption said "for fans of Jasper Fforde and Terry Pratchett". I have not read any Pratchett, but I have read every Fforde book and he is a master of the English language and compelling story this guy is not!
August 10, 2015
2015 Reading Challenge
- A book with nonhuman characters
- A funny book
- A book with bad reviews (my own, see below)
- A book with magic
- A book by an author you've never read before
I started this book because I thought I came out this year, but it didn't, it was just republished on the Nook or something like that this year. From the synopsis it looked like it would be similar to The Dresden Files. A private detective investigates paranormal cases and chaos ensues. But I was disappointed with the writing and I felt that the characters were a bit slow. I will not be reading the rest of the series.
- A book with nonhuman characters
- A funny book
- A book with bad reviews (my own, see below)
- A book with magic
- A book by an author you've never read before
I started this book because I thought I came out this year, but it didn't, it was just republished on the Nook or something like that this year. From the synopsis it looked like it would be similar to The Dresden Files. A private detective investigates paranormal cases and chaos ensues. But I was disappointed with the writing and I felt that the characters were a bit slow. I will not be reading the rest of the series.
June 28, 2011
despite the violation of many grammatical conventions, the book read quite smoothly. My only complaint is that Alex is constantly portrayed as inept and bumbling. I'm hoping this characterization will change in book 2.
August 31, 2011
Very good. A little quirky and funny.
August 18, 2011
Nothing says "Christian high concept fantasy" quite like being a racist asshole. This author is a joke. Don't waste your time.
December 2, 2011
This book is filled with typos, is terribly written, has no character development, and is completely racist. I cannot believe it was actually published.
April 6, 2016
fun read and funny characters
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews