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When I Get Married . . .: Surrendering the Fantasy, Embracing the Reality

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What you think about marriage may be hurting you.
What are your expectations for marriage? If you think you’ll never be lonely, you won’t have to worry about money anymore, or sex won’t be an issue, think again. Jerusha Clark exposes these and other common, destructive misconceptions about marriage, offering solid biblical truth to replace them. Whether you’re single, engaged, or already married, this book will challenge your thoughts about marriage and strengthen your relationships. Learn to think clearly about marriage with powerful true stories, illustrations, and wisdom from people who’ve been there―and learned the hard way.

256 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2009

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About the author

Jerusha Clark

15 books6 followers

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
Profile Image for Molly.
90 reviews11 followers
April 27, 2011
I didn’t expect much, judging from the book cover (yes, we all do, even though we shouldn’t, judge a book by its cover). The author’s name was unfamiliar, and the title wasn’t catchy.

But the book surprised me. It got me thinking; it challenged my own ideas.

Jerusha Clark identifies common myths--some so common they almost sound silly; I know that I for one responded like, “Of course I know that’s a marriage myth, I’m too intelligent to get sold on that stuff from the movies!”

But then Jerusha explores the myths with original insight that made me see that, at the back of my mind, I have been taken in by these myths—hook, line, and sinker. She helped me see the gravity of the “When I Get Married…” ideas I have subscribed to (willingly or not!), and made me realize my need for God’s grace to shift my perspective.

Some of the wrong ideas that struck me were: When I get married, I’ll never be lonely; sex won’t be a problem; I’ll know what to do with my life.

The learnings are fresh, the ideas flow naturally. But more than insightful, it’s a well-crafted book. The writing is beautiful, in some parts even lyrical.

This is a good tool for singles and about-to-weds, but take care not to intellectualize marriage too much. I think you need to balance book learnings and head knowledge with a lot of God’s grace found in experiencing the daily grind of married life, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit’s leading in marriage.
14 reviews
April 24, 2011
Very good. Explores expectations that people have entering marriage - and a biblical worldview and response to those expectations.
Profile Image for Denise Reed.
598 reviews6 followers
February 15, 2022
Addresses common myths regarding marriage and used people’s testimony as examples. Encouraged people to have realistic expectations. My perspective changed after reading it. I really enjoyed chapter about loneliness, it showed that loneliness focused on external and solitude focused on internal. Being single with solitude is encouraged focusing on the changes God is doing within you. I was confused with some of the Bible verses she often paraphrased, I would recommend that she include the Bible translation she’s referencing
Profile Image for Keiki Hendrix.
231 reviews520 followers
July 3, 2009
Is your idea of marriage framed by movies, popular romance novels or your own idealistic fantasies? Would you know what will remain of your marriage after the honeymoon is over? Is the knowledge of a biblical marriage included in your Wedding Planner notebook?

In Jerusha Clark’s new book “When I Get Married: Surrendering the Fantasy, Embracing the Reality“, the tone is set in Chapter One with these words from Isaiah…

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you:
I have called you by name, you are Mine!…
You are precious in My sight…
You are honored and I love you…

For the mountains may be removed
and the hills may shake,
But My Lovingkindness will not be removed from you,
And My covenant of peace will not be shaken.“

—Isaiah 43:1,4; 54:10, NASB

Drawing from biblical principles and written with a personable, conversational ease, this book takes the reader through ten misconceptions about marriage provoking the reader from abstract fantasies to the far better genuine reality if approached as God intended.

Each chapter is filled with citations from other highly recommended books on marriage, offering the reader direction should they want to pursue the Truths the author presents.

Marriage is the second most important decision in a woman’s life (the first being her salvation) and Jerusha Clark addresses 10 ideas in the light of scripture.

1. I’ll Always Feel Loved
2. I’ll Feel Whole, Complete, and Satisfied
3. I Won’t Feel Lonely Anymore
4. Life will Be So Much Better
5. I Won’t Have to Worry About Money
6. I’ll know What to Do with the Rest of My Life
7. Sex Won’t be an Issue Anymore
8. I’ll Feel Pretty (and Witty and Bright)
9. I’ll Have a Happy Family
10. It Will Be Forever

This is a wonderful resource for the woman who is not afraid of Truth, who truly wants a successful marriage, and is willing to walk through the scriptures to establish her home.

Gina Hendrix
NavPress Book Reviewer
http://vesselproject.blogspot.com/200...
Profile Image for Krystal.
215 reviews
March 28, 2009
I reallty liked this book (and not just because the author is a good friend of mine!). It gave practical and godly advice as to what to expect when married. She dissects the 10 most common myths about marriage and counters them with godly wisdom from the Bible.
Profile Image for Krystle.
8 reviews
March 29, 2014
Great read for anyone, no matter where you are in your walk of life; single or married.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews

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